Gemma -

jacks_echo @ 2013-08-27T11:11:00

2013-08-27T10:14:08Z

They're going to turn off the machines today.
they allowed me to think there was some chance, I knew when I saw her last night she was worse than before, she seemed less conscious and not breathing properly, her lungs are finished. there is nothing more that can be done.

I wish they'd never let me think we had a chance.
My mother was 45 years old. she deserved a second chance.
life chewed her up and spat her out, she deserved a chance to make good.
I'm so full of hatred.

jacks_echo @ 2013-05-23T03:53:00

2013-05-23T02:54:04Z

This week has been literally ridiculous, then this goes and happens.
for people in the UK I'm sure you've seen the Woolwich Machete attack today on the news, which is apparently politically motivated. naturally in true dramatic style it's on Gary's street, you more or less have to walk past to get to his from the town centre and today has been utter carnage and they closed down most of the roads in and out.

It takes literally nothing to cause violence here, two people at the traffic lights on push bikes started throwing punches in the hour afterwards and kids are probably just the worst kind of people. they're queuing up to see who can get the closest look because apparently seeing a beheaded soldier means you're special, just millions of camera phones and gawkers as if the actual news isn't horrific enough.

I realised earlier on the guy who actually killed him was preaching in the centre a few weeks back, I knew I recognized him but didn't know how, and tonight at about nine the English Defence League has rolled in because naturally two singular muslims commit a crime and it's the business of a bunch of fascists to defend us poor white people by of course making everything a million times worse, the stupidest part of it all is the two actual criminals aren't here so who are you fighting? throwing bricks at the police, because them having to turn up at that scene, remove the body of a young man shoot down two others, secure evidence and fill out IPCC paperwork for a reduced wage and pension wasn't enough bullshit to deal with for one day you need to bring your superior intellect to the party.
Apparently we're at war with Islam, as if it's all that black and white, good vs bad.

I can't get over the brutality of it, the sheer utter awfulness to do such a thing to another human being just defies logic. Life is so ridiculously fragile.

jacks_echo @ 2012-12-26T05:44:00

2012-12-26T05:44:31Z

I've had a lovely christmas, ate far far too much, got pissed as hell, absolutely spoilt rotten this is why I'm just going to leave it here.

because I know how Downton Abbey ends, I knew weeks ago but I cannot actually bare it, tv went out on the 24th and I've had to download everything because of the shitty reception but I'll have to watch it tomorrow with my family and I can't do it, because if I never watch Downton again Matthew will live forever IRRATIONALLOGIC.
The tears, the snot the real life sorrow, nope, not doing it.

I've actually started chewing my fingernails again and I haven't been able to since 2008, I've got half a bottle of Vodka and two bottles of wine left, how much will I have to drink to not absolutely ruin myself publicly over the death of a fictional character.

WTF.

2012-09-28T00:58:06Z

Seriously just watched Episode three of this season of Sons Of Anarchy and legitimately Kurt Sutter is the actual worst, the sheer hyped level of emotional upset this programme causes is too intense, I literally fucking bawled at my tv, there is a sense of mourning in my house you don't see when real people die we're all just actually bereft for this fictional champion amongst men.

Opie. you fucking fucker. anyone else but never opie. and yet you go there. we're done sutter, you hurt my fucking feels.

Gah. I can't handle the funeral next week I'm just going to curl up in the foetal position and sob into my sofa cushions till it's over, Seriously I watched an hour long documentary about Dennis Wilson which made me a bit sad then this!? I was not prepared. my heart it hurteth. *mew*

DEPRDERPDERP.

2012-04-25T23:45:06Z

I'd love to have a time machine so I could go back to 1999, firstly tell myself to stop wearing polo necks because they make you look like a penis, then secondarily tell my teeny weeny former self I'm going to see the friggin' Backstreet Boys and I'm legally old enough to drink booze before during and after and high five the shit out of strangers because I'm a fucking Champ then I'd have laughed in my stupid 12 year old face, good boyfriends buy flowers, Champ boyfriends sit on Ebay all day fighting other people so you can go and scream at Nick Carters face. also DONNY WAHLBERG. because it's always relevant and OMG.OMG.OMG. DONNY WAHLBERG. you guys I know one new kids on the block song but DONNY WAHLBERG. WAHHHHH.

I am literally going to high five myself in the face because I'm scaring the cat.

50 x Kennedy Icons.

2012-01-16T15:03:11Z

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comment, credit all that good stuff and enjoy!

jacks_echo @ 2012-01-04T23:30:00

2012-01-04T23:30:19Z

The best way to intake alcohol is to not let anyone know you've got it and slowly get plastered whilst watching period dramas and or ~~anything~~ everything with dan stevens in and then everyone thinks you just really really enjoy corsets.

January sucks and it's goddamn freezing so I intend to just stay here revelling in all the corsets till the temperature gets high enough that I don't need my dressing gown 24/7 plus I still have stitches still so my excuse is I'm keeping my stitches warm till they decide to leave the mother ship, I have made no promises to myself this year that I'll be better in any way or attempt wondrous feats, my intentions are as follows, more books then last year, more gigs then last year, more booze then last year, more sex then last year and if I get fatter or skinnier in the process i'll buy bigger or smaller jeans which make my arse look wonderful.

This might actually turn out to be a pretty big and fun year all in all.

jacks_echo @ 2011-11-25T13:37:00

2011-11-25T13:37:25Z

Well this is going well, Black Friday - so far today a court summons and a blood test which requires me to come into the surgery and have a "sit down" with my doctor, apparently it's not something she wants to tell me over the phone, that generally means one of very few things and I've been constantly sick for over a month. Thanks for calling, I truly, truly wish you hadn't bothered.

Edit : I went over to the doctors surgery and cried till someone would see me, apparently I am anaemic which explains why I struggle staying awake no matter how much I sleep and I've got Glandular Fever, despite never actually having the "fever" part, which is unexpected but the relief. o.m.g.

jacks_echo @ 2011-09-22T02:18:00

2011-09-22T01:18:53Z

Seriously. fucking seriously I've just broken my phone. I howled, I'm so sad I howled then burst into tears.
I waited god knows how many months for them to deliver it, loved it and then broke it because I'm stupid - the screen was scratched so I bought a new case, ebay being ebay it's a piece of shit and it destroyed my phone. and now I have to buy a new phone and the money i've spent on unlocking it, and multiple safety items I've bought to stop it from getting broken are completely moot.

SO.FUCKING.SAD.
and double points I snapped my memory card too so all my photos are gone as well.

RIP Jack.

tagged by prettyxinxpunk7

2011-02-18T22:34:12Z

The rules:

1. People who have been tagged must write the answers on their blog and replace any question they dislike with a new, original question.
2. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

I wont tag you as I know a lot of people have already done it but if you would like to do it I'd like to read your answers.

1. Make a list of 5 things that you can see without getting up: Ted Kennedy biography, mobile phone, hairbrush, coke bottle, glasses cleaner, blank dvds, lightbulb - my desk is somewhat of a mess.

2. How do you style your hair? - it's usually tied back in a bun as it's too thick to do anything with, when it's down it gets really knotted.

3. What's your favourite colour: Red

4. What's your occupation? - Scumbag, I'm unemployed. but I tell people I work for MI6.

5. What do you hear right now - My brother screaming at call of duty on Xbox live.

6. Who was the last person you hugged - Gary

7. What is/was for dinner? - Lasagne and baby herb potatoes.

8. What did you do today? - literally not much at all, I've slept most of today I felt rough as hell. I'm still debating the huge amount of painting that needs to be done.

9. Dog person or cat person? - Cats, never used to be but he's my main man.

10. If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? - Brett Anderson.

11. What was the last thing that you bought? - a lampshade from Osbourne and Little and a mirror.

12. If you could afford to go anywhere in the world, where would you go? - New York, then Italy.

13. Where do you see yourself in five years? - I have no idea, I'd just like to be happy doing whatever it is, hopefully I'll have myself a little boy and be doing something photography related.

14. Where's your birthmark? - I never had one, I'm probably knitted.

15. What are you doing this weekend? - it's my birthday on sunday so me and Gary are going out tomorrow, to a museum for a photography exhibit in the morning, then on the haunted london ghost walk tomorrow night. and then I'll be watching smack down when we get back.

16. If you could play any musical instrument, which one would you play? - Violin.

17. How are you? - I'm alright, bit on edge but that's not unusual.

18. One thing from your childhood you know you shouldn't keep but can bring yourself to throw away -
A stuffed pig, called George. I'm also very precious about my Russian Doll one of the smallest ones is missing and she's sun damaged but she still lives on my desk.

Kennedy Icons.

2011-02-04T20:45:42Z

9 x John / Jackie
8 x Bobby
8 x Teddy
3 x misc.

comment and credit please, let me know what you like then I'll know what to make more of :)

John / Jackie :

Bobby:

Teddy :

Etc:

jacks_echo @ 2010-12-24T18:54:00

2010-12-24T18:54:07Z

I just had my first seasonal injury of the year, you know that awful Russian roulette moment with ice where you're thinking "this looks really dangerous, I have three shopping bags, one is full of glass bottles..yeah I'll chance it" that is because usually it is dangerous, and yes you will go west.

Doc Martens can not save you from break dancing on ice and they can't save you from hitting a pit-bull with one of your shopping bags right in the head and taking him with you either, poor dog tried to run away because the bags scared him took a whack and slid along on his side, we just laid there for a moment staring at each other. nature is cruel to everyone.

the supermarkets are bedlam, apparently there is and I quote *michael cole* "a national sellotape shortage!" OMG HOW WILL WE RECOVER FROM THIS CRISIS?. we will staple things or glue them or possibly put them in bags, together we'll get through this.

Merry christmas ladles and jellyspoons, I intend to eat my dinner tomorrow way before dinner time, watch burn notice, get pissed and find out what Gary's hidden in the Amazon box this year, hope you all have a good one.

HOWARRRRRD.

2010-12-22T17:59:39Z

this is me right now.

I'm off to see the wizard of Bristol. cross your internal organs for me he's back on british soil. ooooooh I'm soooo excitedddd. *squeak*

I think my nan made it to Egypt, she hasn't phoned so I'm going to assume she's made it at least into northern europe if not further otherwise she's in a for a lonnnnng wait at baggage control.

I have a new layout. this sirs is a good day.
I bid thee fair well.

jacks_echo @ 2010-12-01T20:56:00

2010-12-01T20:56:36Z

Somehow, I have no idea I've managed to tear two muscles in my chest - one in between two ribs and one above my breastbone, apparently I am the worlds most aggressive yawner because I have no idea how in gods name that even happened. problem being I have never felt pain like this and we're talking 6 weeks recovery time, on the basis I don't do any more damage so that rules out yawning, stretching and sneezes I can see this going well can't you? it better be healed before we go to see Russell Howard on the 22nd heads will roll. Armies of agile ninjas can't keep me away from Russell Howard, I don't think I've ever waited so hard to go somewhere in my life. it's like disneyland for grown ups.

Basically I'm thinking other than the obvious ouch, the snow this week has kind of saved me - I was meant to be in lewisham and erm..well I didn't go at all any of the days I was meant to be there..but what with all the closures due to the snow I have madddd excuses ready, plus I'M NOT WEEELLLL *bawl*

Peeeeopple - Is dreamwidth any different from livejournal? I get that it's the same premise as such but is it any more active and is it worth paying money to get an account? I kind of want one but I don't know if it's worth the effort I already have all the usual social accounts and update practically none of them I've even stopped paying for my account on here because I don't update enough and its not justifiable to keep paying so I can have lots of icon slots.

I bought a bottle of southern comfort when I hobbled to the supermarket earlier, it's absolutely glorious I've drunk half and you could fry an egg on my face now - I'm going to go and watch some tossbag get thrown off the apprentice because that's all Wednesday is good for.

jacks_echo @ 2010-11-18T00:42:00

2010-11-18T00:47:17Z

On the eve of the boyfriends birth Gemma made cake, and low it was a good cake - she held a sticky finger towards the ceiling and said "by jove I thinks I've cracked it"

I've also eaten at least 6 full tablespoons full of Golden Syrup, so much tasty evilness it's like being two again bouncing off the kitchen walls, I'm really stoked with myself for not throwing the towel in and giving up, I will learn to cook properly even if it kills me to keep ruining so much food, slightly offputting I realized why all the other cakes were so rough, the self raising flour was incredibly incredibly out of date not like 1988 out of date but possibly more 2008 so really that makes it the flours fault and not my fault, well. not so much but you know.

I'm really happy lately, contented if anything there's nothing to be worried about which makes life so much easier, I can be contented in being proactive, I'm looking after myself and keeping busy and everyone else is being mildly less weird than usual [except my Dad, his wife miscarried and he's happy about it which is just sad, I admit I wasn't thrilled but to lose it not by choice and be happy about something so macabre says a lot about his morality] and I'm just being boring wondering where I'd have space to fit a bookshelf because I really really want a bookshelf behind doors so it's not cluttering the place up.

I'm becoming increasingly obsessed with the 60's mainly because of these BAMF's

so that's a whole world full of new conspiracy theory books to read because I am just a little bit in love with both of them, all the hottest people are dead now days just avoid ever googling them and seeing fat drunken speedo pictures of them in their 60's *shiver*

Icons

2010-11-16T16:14:47Z

Random question.
do these icons look too sharp?

not like for your taste too sharp, but just wayyy over? I'm using Opera and they look nicer than in Safari but on my Imac I can't tell, no doubt half of everything in flickr wildly varies because of my screen.

I really miss iconing, and I'm going to do the biggest Kennedy icon post I can manage as soon as possible but i'll be heartbroken if I make 100 icons and they're all sharpened to shit, I've spent over 5 hours sourcing tumblr for photos so I'd be quite gutted. it's slightly infuriating thinking about icons but having no idea how to make them without psp and animation shop. gah, smited.

jacks_echo @ 2010-11-11T16:52:00

2010-11-11T16:57:11Z

After 42 years of living my dad still doesn't know where babies come from, clearly this why at 23 I'm having yet another little brother or sister. joy of joys another kid who I'll never see and their parents can neither afford to care for or have the inclination to raise into a rounded human being, it just makes me sad to think people who could truly give a child a great life can't have children yet this idiot manages it without even trying six times and offers the world nothing.

I can't wait to see my brothers face when he hears this, he still hasn't come to terms with Maria yet and she's seven years old.

jacks_echo @ 2010-06-04T21:33:00

2010-06-04T20:35:35Z

I keep meaning to update about my incredibly eventful life, but to be honest I just open a page then never go back to it. plus I'm coasting I've done pretty much nothing since god knows when, the occasional bit of DIY, Hospital visits, shopping regular shit, other than one incredibly scary thing everything else is fine, like just normal.

All I know is I fucked up my foot in April, I've been in serious trouble since it wont budge, I saw my doctor this morning and he gave me the best painkillers I've ever ever used in my life.

I'm listening to Editors and Rock AM and it feels like I'm floating in a sack of warm water, all jelly limbs and my ears are really hot this album sounds awesome, which is cracking because I fucking hate editors last album. Oddly the urge to dance is strong, I'm scared I'll break my leg. I can see the 3 times a day maximum being a tough regime to stick to. I'm going to end up looking like Matthew Perry.

jacks_echo @ 2010-05-07T03:09:00

2010-05-07T02:10:03Z

As it stands the conservatives are only 1 seat away from being toe to toe with labour, I knew this would happen and I want to cry listening to this fucking retards acceptances speech, we're officially a laughing stock in the eyes of the rest of the world, as per usual money leads the way at the sake of human appreciation. fucking disgusting.

who needed an education or job prospects anyway? By morning this fucktard could be prime minister, and votes like mine have counted for nothing because good people never really stood a chance, always good to give up all hope of the future.

Fuck you Britain, you didn't have much going for you, if you elect this farce by choice you have nothing.

jacks_echo @ 2010-04-04T23:22:00

2010-04-04T22:22:20Z

Anyone know how to make £1,399 by next week that doesn't include having to sleep with strangers?
nope thought not.

Rent issues yet again, I'm beyond pissed off with this shit.
the government is remarkably patronising, I am a sponger, yet if you have a child you claim £300 a week for when their illness isn't actually illness means you're being supported as you have issues, I have issues, no ones paying me yet.

Someone keeps rummaging around in glass bottles outside, after 2 hours of reading creepy pasta I'm only marginally shitting bricks.

See you in the next life.

2010-03-24T07:46:15Z

One 10 hour round trip, two stiff necks, one nasty cold, one underground bunker of a hotel room, 2 ruined pillow cases, a stolen travel lodge kettle, and night in Salford dreaming about Morrissey.

We did this.
We saw Suede.
Honestly, I'm 23 and I've never been this happy about anything.
I use that term loosely usually because something usually pisses me off right after, but something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime happened, it was the holy grail and some, I could have probably got some amazing photos if i'd brought my SLR but to be honest I didn't really want to, it wasn't something I needed to document because I thought I'd forget it, because it's cemented itself. I cried, I don't just cry for everyone.

Epic epiphany moment of my twenties. done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwEluctkdME

Yes thats me at the end :p not me singing in the background though gladly.

Random Fashion Lust.

2010-03-16T06:27:08Z

If I had a cool guilt free grand I would own all of this shit and roll around on the floor amongst my booty.

considering the cameo ring is £18,000 on it's own my measly imaginary £1,000 wouldn't quite cut it.
gah @ alice in wonderland, it's not even one of the best 5 disney films, but the new one is producing so much cool shit its unbearable.

I has the flu, therefor spending pretend money is my hobby.

the past is safely behind you.

2010-03-14T03:32:37Z

Good tidings.
It's always nice to have nice reportings, but I'm listening to kid harpoon so I'm actually tempo typing so nothing ever reads in english you end up throwing words in and read back later like this 0_0
I spoke to my best friend today, put it this way I last spoke to her seven years ago and our parting words were essentially death threats screamed across traffic, Figuratively if I think about it I don't know why, I didn't hurt her, she never hurt me we were just spiteful teenage bitches so it goes and goes on.

You never quite know how that entire conversation is going to go, we've both danced around initiating it for years but no one quite had the arsehole to be the one who starts it, thing is nothing is really any different, older and a little more battered looking around the edges but it's like you were sitting around discussing what backstreet boy you were going to marry yesterday, I'm happy, she's happy and she has a beautiful little boy Mason, who has the diddiest little feets - I'm glad we finally did it, to be honest the way my friendships have been left off has bothered me for years it's stunted moving forward and i'm glad we're not still in silent warfare anymore, it's never going to be what it was but that's not a bad thing, losing that sense of anxiety is a blessing.

UNF. this time next week i'm in fucking Manchester bbs.

to see this haggard bitch. *DIES OF SUEDE RELATED HYPERVENTILATION*
I'd kind of wrote off my chances of ever seeing suede but now we're travelling the entireee country and I'm meant to be on my job seekers course, so I'm being naughty. Gary must love me, no one else would say yes to travelling all day across britain in a giant tin can with no leg room and paying over inflated hotel prices.
I'd like to say hotel sex will make up for it but by the time I get back to the hotel i'll be lucky if both legs are still below the waist.

I am buying new clothes. It feels like OMGSPRINGGG new clothes and hair time.

jacks_echo @ 2010-02-05T15:20:00

2010-02-05T15:20:54Z

this day will forever be known as the day of giant donkey balls of fail.
so not in the mood. if the child so much as looks at me on his arrival I will sow his braces together whilst he sleeps, then he'll know what true frustration sounds like.

Pray for the life of the man from British Gas, he has no idea what is about to happen to him.
I can do amazing things with a plunger.

jacks_echo @ 2010-01-10T07:49:00

2010-01-10T07:49:11Z

6 hours of copying shit from my hard drive to my brothers hard drive 45gb spanned over 2 8gb sticks, and I STILL managed to lose my entire icon making folder, and yet I still have this weeks episode of TNA that i've deleted TWICE. and I can't lose the fucking thing.

urgh. all my premades. fucking suckage, could have been worse though, if it had been my photos it doesn't actually bare thinking about. still I may have liked to make something in PSP this decade.

*hugs photography folder tight*

still Snow Leopard is exciting, or it was for about 40 seconds before I morphed into a slow motion nooooooooo in front of the keyboard.