* Stuck in a Moment *

~ Ten's final moments ~

jackaholic — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 11:10:35 GMT

So many people have written general reviews of The End of Time and done them far more justice than I ever could. So I only want to focus on one thing, the Tenth Doctor's final moments.

Over the past few days, i've heard them referred to as everything from breathtakingly brilliant to an abomination, and the rising tide of opinion describing Ten as a coward is absolutely infuriating me as it flies in the face of everything the episode was seemingly trying to say.

One of the main reasons I adored the Tenth Doctor was because of his totally shameless humanity. He was arguably the most heartbreakingly human character of the entire series. He relished emotion, saw it as an incredibly important aspect of living - the direct antithesis to everything the Cybermen stood for - and NEVER once viewed it as being synonymous with cowardice. So, with that in mind, how anyone can accuse the Doctor of being a coward and a 'cry baby' in his final moments astounds me. Humans are flawed, fallible, complicated creatures. We feel far too much. At our worst we can be irrational, petrified of death, and capable of behaving like little more than children. And at our best, we just love life. He didn't only admire the latter, he adored all of us, warts and all.

Was The Doctor's last line heroic? Some say no, others yes. He'd already demonstrated ample heroism when he saved Wilf's life at the expense of his own. Then in his last moments, he was simply... human. I LOVE that, because its the very essence of who the Tenth Doctor, through David's sympathetic portrayal, was.

(Its extraordinary that the more alien he became, the more human he became also. Completely paradoxical, but it is what it is. Waters of Mars had him becoming frighteningly, devastatingly alien, seemingly losing his humanity without a companion to guide him. And yet at the same time, he was simply behaving exactly like every human being who's ever had a taste of power and decided they liked it. The more alien he became, the less he was able to escape the dark, ugly, human parts of himself, and that RTD allowed the show to become that complex is something i'll forever love him to itty bitty bits for.)

Now, as for his so called self-indulgence and 'fear' of death? I think final 20 minutes are open to being read in a number of different ways, but I personally didn't see fear. Regret? Maybe. Ten began as a Doctor who loved life. Bounding around the universe with an unflappable grin and not a care in the world, there was nothing he loved more than simply living. I think he lost sight of that somewhere along the way, to the point of acting borderline suicidal more than a few times. He even admitted to having nothing to live for in The Next Doctor which astounded me. (In a children's show!) So, what I saw in that final moment was not necessarily fear of death, but more the realisation that for a good while now, he hadn't truly lived... at least not in the way he had towards the beginning of his life, with utter abandon and sheer joy. "I could do so much more" indeed. That look on his face, both when he's on the floor exclaiming "i'm still alive!" and later when he's about to regenerate, I read them as the realisation finally, truly hitting him of how much he really did love life and damn he didn't want to go. That's quite a tragic epiphany to have when you know you're hours, minutes or seconds away from death.

People are seeing it as self indulgent, pointless and whiny that Ten's last words were "I don't want to go". But when you filter them through the fact that he probably wasn't consciously aware of HOW deeply and desperately he wanted to stay, they take on an unbelievable gravity and completely justify the depth of his grief. Because that's what it was: absolute, crippling grief. Its not a child flailing about immaturely, its a 900 year old Time Lord realising he's wasted a good chunk of this life on melancholy when he should have known better. And now that he might be ready to change, to embrace life again, its about to all be snatched away from him. It would be like Buffy dying at the end of the season 6 finale. Its horrible, its tragic, devastating and cruel. Why should he have to face it with unflappable stoicism?

It's as gut wrenching as anything Joss Whedon ever wrote and RTD should be suitably proud. Because for the children watching, it just plays like a beloved actor and Doctor not wanting to leave. No need for them to be traumatised, they'll just mourn their Doctor and remember that he loved life so much he couldn't bear the thought of its end. But for the rest of us, Russell has woven in layer upon layer of subtly and character complexities that stretch back to The Doctor's first borderline suicidal act in Runaway Bride. I'm not saying any of this was planned back then, or even that it was his intention with this script. But I think it's at least a valid in-hindsight reading that i'm choosing to adopt as my canon.

We could have had a neat, tidy uplifting ending where the Doctor bravely accepted his own death, capped off by a nice throwaway line that made him seem all heroic and brilliant. And that would have worked fine as a standalone tribute to the 'most popular Doctor of all time'. But what we got was far more appropriate in addressing the fact that Doctor Who is a show that has been going on for 40 years and hopefully 40 more. Not every incarnation should go out stoically. And this Doctor in particular had been visibly falling apart since The Master's death, even since Doomsday. He came across as virtually paralysed in Partners in Crime, an absolute shadow of his former self. For so long he's been incredibly cavalier about his own life. He tossed it aside easily without a second's thought many many times in seasons 3 and 4. But he doesn't do that here. He rants and raves and rails against it. Why? Because before, he didn’t care if he lived or died. Here, finally, he does. And in wanting to live, a part of him must acknowledge that he deserves to live, which means one step closer to self-forgiveness and peace. And that's all I ever wanted for him.

So really, there is an argument to be made that he truly was stoic and heroic and brilliant. It just depends on how you choose to see it. Bottom line, if this Doctor had gone quietly to his death without a fight, it would have been more akin to suicide than sacrifice. Instead, for the man who had nothing to live for, his strength and heroism lay in finally deciding he wanted to live. Choosing life, and deciding that despite everything, despite all he had lost, despite all the overwhelming grief, pain and loneliness, at the end of the day, he still wanted to live. His whole arc has been about him trying to find his way out of the dark. Finding the will to live again was the most heroic thing Russell could have written for him, not to mention one heck of a legacy. The great tragedy was that it happened in the final hour of his life.

It was a beautiful, stunning, emotionally and thematically rich ending that was so, so worthy of David Tennant and the Tenth Doctor. And it affected me so deeply that halfway through Matt Smith's scene I actually had to look away. Another man in the Ten's clothes, jumping around so joyously... it felt utterly brutal, like a complete slap in the face of a man who had just died. Of course, they're both the same man and I'll grow to love him just as much, but in that moment I literally had to look away because I couldn't bare to see it. For television to have that profound an emotional impact is bordering on absurd. It didn't feel like fiction. It felt like a proper loss. Its a moment i'll never forget and Russell, David and everyone else should be unbelievably proud.

♥ ♥ ♥

P.S. I don't think i'm going to manage replying to everyone, but thanks so, so much for all the comments ♥ :)

The End of Time

jackaholic — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 04:43:39 GMT

David Tennant, I ♥ you more than I thought was possible.

Russell T. Davies, you evil, brilliant man, I ♥ you even more.

No more to say now. Too busy bawling. Just a quote from twitter:

"I cant imagine waking up tomorrow to a world where David Tennant is no longer
The Doctor".

♥ ♥ ♥

Torchwood: Children of Earth

jackaholic — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 08:42:52 GMT

I realise I haven't posted in a million years, but I had to pop back briefly because Torchwood was just too phenomenal to not comment on.

It was one of the most meticulously plotted, intelligent, horrifying, tragic, stunning pieces of television i've ever seen. And i've seen a lot. The focus on characterisation astounded me. Every single person in the giant supporting cast was not only completely fleshed out and three-dimensional, but also interesting, engaging and hugely endearing. I fell in love with ALL OF THEM.

Frobisher stole the entire series for me, with Peter Capaldi giving one of the best performances across the whole of Whoverse. So much of the suspense of ep 3 relied on his ability to act convincingly to a glass wall, and my god did he deliver. He made a lengthy sequence spent talking to a giant alien feel nothing like science fiction - just the reality of a petrified man coming face to face with a scenario usually reserved for nightmares.

His death ranks among the best i've ever seen from RTD. Russell has this way of creating the most human moments by inserting longwinded speeches on ordinary, everyday topics, over the top of truly heartbreaking scenes; and it just serves to heighten the tragedy of what's happening by making it so much more human. I love it. It's my favourite thing about him. He did exactly the same thing with Martha's "i've had this friend Vicky" speech which was set against the moment the Doctor realised he had lost her. Here, Susan Brown delivered Bridget Spears' monologue flawlessly and I cried like an absolute baby.

Regarding the main cast, I have never seen John Barrowman just... deliver quite like that before. He was astonishing. It was so heartbreaking to watch him move through the last episode so wordlessly and defeatedly, considering how full of life he usually is. Gwen will always be ridiculously awesome and I feel I don't even need to comment on Eve/Gwen because her utter brilliance is so damn obvious to anyone with eyes (IMO) :)
So much has been said about Ianto that I don't think I could possibly add anything new or useful to the mix, so i'm just going to leave that to the people who have been far more eloquent than I possibly could. (Those who have been viciously attacking the writers re. Ianto through Twitter and James Moran’s blog however, make me ashamed to be part of fandom. But that’s another issue entirely).

And Rhys. What can I say about Rhys? He honestly continues to be possibly my favourite thing about Torchwood :P Kai Owen is just flawless. He delivers the comedy like nobody else, is RTD's quintessential everyman, and yet there are these flashes where you can see the wisdom of someone else entirely in his eyes. He is such a human human and I just kept getting the sense that when the Doctor fights tooth and nail to save the earth all the damn time it’s so that the universe can continue to have people like Rhys in it. And my god is he going to be the world's best and most adorable father ♥

The only thing that bugged me in the entire series was the fact that we were supposed to believe that over the course of the whole debacle, nobody at any point said, "Hey, here's an idea, lets pick up a phone and CALL THE DOCTOR!" Technically, at this point, Jack, Martha, Sarah Jane + Mr Smith, and UNIT should ALL have the Doctor's phone number saved on their phones. And if anyone tries to convince me that at the very LEAST Sarah Jane wouldn't have gotten Mr Smith to at least try and make that call the second the children of Bannerman Road started chanting, my head will explode. With that said though, they made up for it and then some with Gwen's speech to camera about the Doctor "turning away in shame". Another of my favourite ever RTD moments.

Its funny, most of my issues with RTD have always stemmed from the fact that he insists on keeping a lot of Doctor Who incredibly simplistic, rarely moving beyond thematic stereotype even when he so obviously has the chance to. I didn't love Turn Left for that reason. There have been SO many times in DW where i've whined about his reluctance to go further, go darker, more real, push past simple stereotypes and bring the stories somewhere no one expects them to go. To write complex, challenging moral observations instead of basic, familiar fables. But I read a quote of his the other day where he said - and i'm paraphrasing - that Doctor Who was a show written in broad strokes with thick felt pens. And with that in mind, my issues have never (or at least rarely) been with Russell as a writer, but frustration at his and the BBC's choice to be so conscious of keeping DW a children's show. What saddened me most about Children of Earth is that it’s the kind of story I desperately want to see in Doctor Who, even though I know it will never be. The Doctor is one of the greatest characters ever created, and oh to see him in Jack's position, to see him in that story, in that world. THAT'S how you should use the Doctor. At least every once in a while. Even though I ADORE the heart, the fun and the sentimentality of RTD's Doctor, and trust me I do... he also has the potential to be the most phenomenal, most fascinating, darkest and most explosive character in the world; but he will never quite get to be because of the constraints of the format. It’s all there, lurking just under the surface ready to absolutely erupt and reign down long-repressed grief and fury on the entire universe, and it honestly breaks my heart that we'll never get to see that. (Not sure what that says about me exactly...) ;)

But that's not Russell's fault. As much as I often felt it was in the past. And if anything, Children of Earth showed just how amazing he can be. We forget sometimes, bogged down in Daleks and Slitheen, just how great he truly is. Casanova was awesome. The Second Coming was phenomenal. And I mean my god, the reason why the 456 needed the children? That was original, inventive, intelligent and shocking enough to have been ripped from the very best of Original Star Trek.

Which is why the level of hatred directed towards the writers over the past couple of days has honestly sickened me. Particularly James Moran who's only crimes were being the only CoE writer to have an online blog and being a nice enough guy to try and communicate personally with fandom. He's been slaughtered, personally abused and vilified by insane fangirls blaming him for everything wrong with their lives. Attacking the story is one thing. Accusing the writers of homophobia and malicious intent towards specific parts of fandom is another thing entirely. And excuse me, but, Russell T Davies = homophobic? RUSSELL T DAVIES? I mean, for f*** sake. The Romeo and Juliet of the story were undeniably Jack and Ianto! So to honestly suggest that mentions of Ianto's sexuality arose from RTD's repressed homophobia... I just can not express how angry that made me. What has the man ever done but try and combat those prejudices with every word out of his mouth and/or on the page? Characters threw homophobic remarks at Ianto and seemed overly interested in his sexuality because THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IN LIFE. It wasn't 'the writers diminishing his death'. It was them being as painfully real as possible. Which is, you know, THEIR JOB.

It was harsh. It was cruel. And It was absolutely real. So much about every episode totally horrified me and shook me to the core. In the real world, death doesn’t skip past the nice guys just cause we like them. And I still cant quite believe that Torchwood had the courage to do what it did, go the places it went, as well as actually pull it all off FLAWLESSLY.

So kudos to RTD and everyone else involved. Torchwood: Children of Earth, somehow, was one of the finest pieces of science fiction TV I’ve ever seen :D

~

And big *waves* and *hugs* to my flist! ♥ ♥ ♥

Barack Obama - 44th President of the United States

jackaholic — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:12:55 GMT

"...and every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars." ~ The West Wing

America, I love you so much right now :)

♥ ♥ ♥

I ♥ Doctor Who so very very much :)

jackaholic — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:47:27 GMT

One episode it took, for Donna to become my favourite Doctor Who companion EVER.
Ok, maybe not quite, but still :P

First things first. DONNA FREAKING NOBLE. I knew she was going to be awesome, but she surpassed even my expectations. I was one of the very few people who actually loved her in The Runaway Bride (not the first half, but the second half and in particular her final scene). But here we got a Donna much more grown up, mature and brilliant, while still maintaining her spunk and bold craziness. She's like a force of nature, and if anyone is going to be able to take on the Doctor, challenge him, and force him into recognizing his faults through sheer brute force, its her. At the same time though, she's sweet, sensitive, caring, and very very human. Essentially, she's Rose, but with a lot more maturity, wisdom and depth. (Sorry, that sounded a bit harsh. I do like Rose so I didn't mean that in a negative way!)

Some people are criticizing RTD for writing another 'companion puts their life on hold and does nothing with their meaningless, Doctor-less existence' story, but I disagree. Because that look in her eyes when she tells her grandad that she's "waiting"... that's not someone who's dissatisfied and depressed. That's someone full of hope. That's someone on a mission, who is living the life she wants even if its unconventional, and even if she is being criticized for it by people she loves. She's not just drifting, she's searching, and even if she never finds him, she's damn well gonna have a brilliant life trying. I loved her so much for that ♥ Yes, her speech to the Doctor about Egypt was typical RTD trying to impose the above mantra onto the character. But I think Catherine Tate rose above that in her delivery, because what I saw in her most of all was optimistic hope. Unlike Sarah Jane, whose life seemed to come to a standstill after losing the Doctor, Donna is still very much alive.

Now... The Doctor. I was a little stunned with the characterisation of the Doctor in this episode. Absolutely, honestly, stunned. Because I truly didn't expected it from a RTD ep. This Doctor, was an absolute shadow of his former self. Not only did he have a glaringly obviously reduced amount of dialogue in the first half, even after meeting Donna he spent a lot of time quietly working as she babbled on. He was barely reacting. He sometimes seemed off in his own little world of pain and guilt, only half registering the things going on around him. When he realised he couldn't save everyone, he had a massive freak out that I found harder to watch than probably almost all the other comparable scenes in the show to date. He looked petrified. And David conveyed it brilliantly. It was almost like a Post Traumatic Stress response, taking him straight back to the moment he knew he couldn't save Astrid; the Master; Rose etc. He didn't stop and think and try and work out another way, he just... froze. The losses are piling up, and finally we get to see it having a real impact on him.

And the idea of taking on another companion, scares him to death. He so desperately craves companionship, he so desperately needs a hand to hold, a person to talk to, to share the universe with, and yet when he invites her on board it looks like its taking everything he has not to just run away. Because he's getting to the point where the trail of destroyed lives he leaves in his wake is becoming simply too much to deal with. Up until this point he's been the master of repression and denial. Of course, he has his moments of emo, but he can compartmentalise unlike anyone i've ever seen. The Doctor in this episode appears to have completely lost that ability. The floodgates have opened and there's no turning back. He's scared. He's scared to death, and I cant help but be very very worried that he's taken a gigantic bite out of the metaphorical apple by inviting another companion on board at this point, and man does he know it. But like the doomed tragic hero he is, he does it anyway. If he loses Donna, if her arc really is going to be as heartbreaking and tragic as RTD keeps insisting, I shudder to think about the impact that's going to have on him. Because he's hanging on by a very thin thread already.

Of course, knowing RTD, this entire Broken!Doctor characterisation could be dropped entirely next week :P Obviously they cant have him fragile and shattered the entire season, but I sincerely hope they don't suddenly go back to s2 happy Doctor, because there's a real opportunity for some great character moments if they follow this story through properly.

This is getting way too long, but I also have to say that I ADORED all the Martha references ♥ I squeed entirely too much when he said Martha was "brilliant", and it broke my heart to hear that he believes he "destroyed half her life". The Martha that we saw in Torchwood was far from destroyed, and I think its gonna do wonders for the Doctor to see her again, all confident and intelligent and sure of herself. She may have gone through hell with the Doctor, but man did she come out the other side someone to be proud of :D Martha encapsulates what this show is about: a companion who took everything the Doctor taught her, and has used it to better herself and her life. Her normal life. On Earth. She doesn't need to be whizzing around the universe in the little blue box, she truly gets that the greatest adventure you can have is a life on earth with the people you love. And I hope the Doctor realises that when he sees her again, because it might be enough to allow him to come to terms with everything he did (and didn't do) for, and to her, last year.

Catherine Tate freaking ROCKS. 5 minutes in and I was already saying she's gonna be my favourite companion so far :) She's a brilliant comedic actress, but man does she deliver in the serious scenes. And her chemistry with David just sparkles. They are going to be the best Tardis team ever :D

There is nothing I can say about THAT scene that hasn't already been said by everyone else, so i'll just say that yes, I screamed. I literally screamed when I saw the back of her head :P I cant believe they managed to keep it entirely under wraps! That's a serious achievement :)

The alien plot itself was really kinda weak ;) Miss Foster was pretty forgettable and the Adipose were way too cute to be taken seriously. I burst out laughing when that spaceship appeared and they all congregated in the street. Utterly typical, utterly ridiculous RTD. Luckily all the Doctor/Donna made the ep brilliant regardless.

One last thing... SO much love for the final scene. Seriously, she finally gets into the Tardis after months of searching, and the first thing Donna wants to do is let her grandad know that 1. she's ok, and 2. not only does the big, wide, wonderful, magical world he believes in exist, but she's gonna grab hold of it with both hands and reach for the stars. His absolute, unrestrained joy for her in that moment was the best part of the entire ep for me ♥ I hope he plays a big role as the season goes on!

EDIT: Sorry just have to add... regarding the Doctor not being himself... at the end, I thought the fact that it was Donna standing in the doorway of the Tardis, not the Doctor, was nicely symbolic and very telling. In both 'Rose' and 'Smith & Jones', it was him leaning against or standing in the doorway of the Tardis, but here, he's out on the street by himself looking utterly lost and out of place during that whole exchange. Not to mention, its always the Doctor running around at a million miles per hour while the companions struggle to keep up. But after the Adipose have gone, its Donna who literally has to take his arm and pull him away. She's the one doing the leading at several points throughout the ep, and having him not framed by the Tardis doorway at the end just hammers the point home even more. :(

My GOD that was entirely too long. Sheesh, talk about a massive geek attack :P

P.S. I'm leaving this public because i'll probably x-post to a comm or two.

Friends Only

jackaholic — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:21:30 GMT

FRIENDS ONLY

Hi all :)

I'm making this journal Friends Only from here on in.
Icons/Graphics :: intothedark__

Comment to be added here ♥

[mood| Grateful]