Janet
shadows of echoes of memories of songs
Oxford
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Janet was invented in 650 AD when a wandering druid needed a quick solution to the problem of converting stones into beer. He failed to patent his invention, however; a disaster for the druid (whom history must reluctantly consign to anonymity) but a blessing for entrepreneurial 'Saxon metal' bard Geoffrey Heafodbanger, who persuaded the druid to swap his invention for a magic bean. From Heafodbanger the secret of Janet was passed down from generation to generation, whispered from seventh son to seventh son, refined (though you mightn't guess it) and reconfigured, finally becoming the complicated mustelid maintenance process we now know. Six feet tall, two inches wide, and made entirely of platinum except for a single thin strip of paper, today's Janet would be wholly unrecognisable by Geoffrey Heafodbanger; but any druid worth his mistletoe would sense the mythical continuity between his original invention and the modern methods. History does not record what happened to the magic bean, though a certain family in Somerset are suspiciously reticent about the techniques by which they regularly sweep the board at village shows with their prodigious vegetables. Search Janet's LiveJournal:
Queensgate Primary School
Felbridge Primary School
Greenbank Primary School
Burton-On-The-Wolds Community Primary School
Loughborough High School
University of Oxford
-lessnesses
allusion
altered states of consciousness
androgynes
anglo-catholic guilt
anti-beige
apple ][s
armchair theology
badgers
being a library groupie
better living through casuistry
body modification
books
cake
cambridge
chalet school
charity shop clothes
choral music
classification
clearing out sheds
clever people being stupid
constrained writing
cooking
crafts
crosswords
cyborgs
dancing
deviation
dictionaries
donkey konga
dragonslaying
dreams
eat you head
eleven!!!11!!1
elitism
etymology
face pyjamas
fewer
flirting by proxy
folk music
found things
fratboys (slim)
goth denial
hedonism
hesitation
how green is myspace
hypertext
indie
information management
internet dialects
internet pashes
irony
jargon
joni mitchell
juggling
karate
kate bush
kinky boots
knives
language
leather
librarians
linguistics
lists
literature
livejournal
lol*
lyrics
macs
medieval mysticism
mensonge
meta-everything
mindwarping
more badgers
morris minors
mountains
musicals
mythology
nakedness
non-consensual word-games
not having seen films
nothing connects
one-up-uncool-manship
oneoneone!
ox.talk
ox.test
oxbridge
oxbridge.tat
oxford
oxnet
pissing in the memepool
place and placelessness
plausible deniability
playing piano
pornography
postmodernism
pragmatic idealism
puns
quotation mutation
real ale
repetition&#044 repetition
rez
samuel beckett
school fiction
scrabble
sensualism
sex
shamelessness
shiny things
shoes
singing
small steps
suede
surviving in the inch
suzanne vega
swan facts
switzerland
swords
synaesthesia
t. s. eliot
tag-hags
tap dancing
teh
terrrrist-proof knitting
tetris
text
the chairman's game
the london underground
the matrix
the sound of music
thinking outside the idiot-box
tori amos
trains
transparent society
txtspk
uk.misc
usenet
victorian erotica
wearing black to weddings
web2.0
webmistressing
wings
women
word games
word torture
yet more badgers
you are here
you'd think
zen nihilism
pjc50
Pete
triskellian
Triskellian
tkb
Terry Boon
Terry Boon: Journal Entries
uon
doop
bigtonyd
anat0010
red pill or blue pill ?
oxfordhacker
Drifting in and out of consciousness
dry_pidge
simont
Simon Tatham
fivemack
glittertigger
pentamer
kaberett
Alex
le canard de la mer
lnr
Eleanor Blair
A slight case of overblogging
sn1pe
Sn!pe
Sn!pe's End
tigerfort
Tales from the Tigerfort
annajaneclare
Burblings of a Bonsai Primate
brrm
Arthur Bullard
A single act of carelessness leads to the eternal loss of beauty.
curiousjen
U bend Musings
acronym
Andrew
note to invading aliens: avoid this town
ceb
Caution: laws of physics may apply.
mockduck
Mock Duck
james_r
James Rice
offensive_mango
a woman, not a test mouse
Offensive Mango
nou_cooks
Kake
Kake Cooks
andrewwyldgonzo
The Janitor
3/5 of a Mile in 10 Seconds
bugshaw
Bridget
cjwatson
Col
verlaine
Cityish Alt-ish Fortyish
Postironic Brain
rmarsden
Rhodri Marsden
strange_powers
strange powers
He came down from Hovis Land
claerwen
Helen Lynn
sonicdrift
ozarque
uitlander
The Uitlander
venta
Elizabeth
scat0324
Stephen Gower
i_ludicrous
Preposterous Tales
aldabra
Aldabra
thegreenman
hsenag
Ganesh Sittampalam
bibliogirl
Bibliophile Lass
caramel_betty
In your world I have no meaning
tlingel
The Lurker
Tlingel
rhodri
Do You Come Here Often?
sphyg
Quotidian fluctuations
arnhem
Arnhem
A small angle
_swallow
braver
it's not in my nature, just as beauty is not
ewx
Bela Lugosi's Dead, Jim
mobbsy
Andrew Mobbs
sillage
oldbloke
oldbloke's mutterings
barnacle
The Plain People of Ireland
marnameow
webofevil
The Web of Evil
ultraruby
well then
Ultraruby
sea_bright
Meriel
Meriel's Journal
ext2366
khalinche
reddragdiva
Run away to DreamWidth. Come with me.
Diary of an Information Technology call girl
spyinthehaus
Tannhauser
braisedbywolves
Chocolate Socialist
Ain't it just like a human
hairyears
HairyEars
A Journey to the Source of the Nile
emperor
Matthew
Matthew's Journal
jinty
It's Life and Life Only
sion_a
Sion
rysmiel
Angelic Eye for the Gendered-Species Individual
Stained Glass Wings
nevecat
solipsister
sesquipedality
Cassandra
Her Most Regal Majesty, the Queen of Snark
gnimmel
slightlyfoxed
Extensive footnotes
camellia_uk
Camellia Sinensis
beingjdc
A lover of unreason, and an exile
I've already had my sweetest dreams come true
jackfirecat
(His honest idiocy of flight)
miss_newham
Hawksley Newham
Imperatrix Newhamensis
djw
᚛ᚇᚋᚏᚁᚆᚏᚇᚆ᚜
The young man's guide is chance
celestialweasel
Celestial Weasel
I've got pie but I'm not a pion
lusercop
The Lusercop
Adventures in Juggling
doseybat
Bat
ext_2592
Jonathan McDowell
tinyjo
Emptied of expectation. Relax.
All these things that I have done
mr_snips
liarlyre
Liar Lyre
aardvark179
Random Transient Noise Bursts with Announcements
ghoti
The Flat Atom Society
martling
Martin Ling
juggzy
The Goddess of Small Things
Knitting sweaters for dead squirrels
curiouspastimes
Curious Pastimes
voiceofsauron
An Amaranthine Hope
crazyscot
Ross
A man, a plan, a plane
chrisvenus
Chris Venus
wechsler
Grin with cat attached
Linz
Energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest
atreic
Sally
Sally's Journal
truecatachresis
Catachresis
colinmurtagh
Prog and Stuff
tla
ξενική μὲν, χρησίμη δὲ
adventures in academia
damiancugley
Damian Cugley
Damian writes
hscharlesworth
Helen Charlesworth
ericjarvis
Snail Space
fanf
Tony Finch
Tony Finch's blog
uisgebeatha
Laura
Drink up, dreamers, you're running dry.
dorianegray
Dorian
An Evening Wasted With...
brightybot
the woman who mistook her husband for a hat
atommickbrane
But I guess I know a lot about bugs
Spliiiiiish.
timscience
Tim
Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit
boyofbadgers
RickyT
I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
hatmandu
A Man, A Hat. Not a Canal.
nou
I know it's wonky and I don't care
pagilk
boxofdelights
woman who reads too much
fool of questions
jiggery_pokery
Teesside Snog Monster
Many a mickle maks a muckle
bluedevi
different names for the same thing
htfb
Henry Braun
Pereant, qui ante nos nostra dixerunt
olwy
Oliver Gorwits
sbp
Sheep with a guitar
An infinite number of sheep
the_elyan
The Other Book of Ely
sebastienne
we are ugly, but we have the music
lethargic_man
Lethargic Man (anag.)
imc
Daddy Clanger
pomma_penses
thinking my way out of it
she sings out loud at supermarkets
jamtoday
qatsi
The Titfield Thunderbolt
filecoreinuse
crouchinglynx
the cross compiler
evidence of timewasting
pseudomonas
A zero-width positive lookahead assertion
(Untitled)
tortipede
Wibble
fwdthislink
FWD This Link
andrewwyld
Moments
mair_aw
mair
shermarama
Sherm
Shermarama
monkeyhands
Monkeyhands
la belle dame de sans-shutty-uppy
covertmusic
cvrt
99.9 percent
jvvw
Juliette Culver
teleute
Labyrinthine Circles
keirf
Hapi vace! Hapi vace!
A kind of misplaced nostalgia for somewhere I probably didn't enjoy living...
liriselei
Liriselei
livredor
Not sheepish, but individ-ewe-al
Livre d'Or
nja
Millibrachiate Tentacular Coelenterate
vardebedian
Life's a beach. Not littorally, of course
Some gibberish either by or about me. I forget which.
rejs
the_heiress
the heiress
a friend of a friend of the working class
cleanskies
Jeremy Dennis is Jeremy Day
noradre
Hedgehogs are better than echidnas
geekette8
Vicky
Too many words, not enough notes
pir