Avoid These Networking “Don’ts”
Over the years I have shared lots of advice on how to grow your business by building relationships. This blog is about four common “Networking Don’ts,” which are mistakes to avoid when you are networking, especially if you are networking up – meeting people you consider to be successful.
1. Don’t sell or pitch to them.
I cannot tell you how many times I have met someone for the first time, and they immediately start “selling to me.” I’ve also seen the same thing when I was with other businesspeople who are far more successful than me. Don’t do it! The old adage – “it never hurts to ask, right?” is completely wrong when you are networking with someone for the first time. Too many people do it – don’t be one of the crowd.
2. Don’t complain to them.
I realize that sounds obvious, and yet I have been both the victim of it and I’ve seen it way too many times. I was once standing with an incredibly successful businessman while he was meeting people in a crowd when someone he had just met went on a rant about some problem with the man’s company. The complainer noticeably stood out and was quietly escorted away. You want to be remembered by people, but not in that way.
3. Don’t be a sycophant.
When you are at a business networking event, you really don’t need to try and flatter, or over-flatter, anyone. However, successful people are still people, and they appreciate knowing that their work makes a difference. I have found that if I share a specific story about how their work or business has really helped someone in some way, they appreciate the comment. That way the conversation is not all about me, while also acknowledging them for the work they have done.
4. Don’t assume they remember you next time.
If you meet them or connect with them again, never assume they remember you. I recommend that you 
help them out by giving context on how you know each other or how you met. Really successful people tend to meet hundreds, if not thousands, of people. Giving them some context helps jog their memory. If you originally met them in person, give them a reminder of where you met. For example, when I am networking up with an email communication, I like to send a photo of the two of us from the event where we met.
Remember, networking can become a very powerful tool for success – IF you approach it properly and focus on building relationships rather than constantly trying to make a sale. Throughout my decades of experience, I have seen that networking is effective for almost all businesses. If it has not worked for you, perhaps you have been doing some of the “Don’ts” listed above.
Share your thoughts below.
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This is very good advice. I don’t think I have ever done those things, but then I have just started really networking this past year.
This is all the don’ts, Where are the Dos?
I have almost 19 years of “Networking Do’s” on this blog. Skim through the topics. There are FAR MORE recommendations on what to do than what not to do.
Hello Sir,
Pls share Do’s
Learning takes effort. Please take the effort to go back through my many, many blogs where I talk about a lot of the things you should do (more than can be done in one message). “Do” a search using the search bar on this blog to find an immense amount of the many things to do in networking. Start with a search on VCP. Please “do” your homework and search the thousands of blogs I’ve done (many about the things you should be doing to networking effectively). I’ve spent years posting the things to do in order for people to be successful. Spend an hour researching what I’ve posted over the last 19 years. You’ll be glad you did.
I’ve always been a little insulted when people don’t remember me because I remember them. Then a few days ago, I “met” someone that remembered me, and I, of course, didn’t remember them. I meet a lot of people with this person’s name, and oddly they all have dark hair and glasses. But I realized that it can happen to anyone. I should go a little easier on others—and myself.
My favorite technique in this situation is this Bob, because you bring up a great point. I ask them, “What is your favorite hobby?”
They get to talk about themselves, I enjoy their perspective, and I am far more likely to remember Andy and his love for gardening. Simple, effective, and genuine!
This is a great idea Nicholas.
“Very true. connects works best when we focus on relationships first, not selling. Trust builds referrals.”
Lido 31/01/2025
Very informative. Thanks for sharing. Hence i will implement all four point during networking
What are the other DO NOTs you would advise?
These “don’ts” are really important and I definitely agree on it. Some people think that networking is always sell and they don’t listen to you. This attitude says a lot about them.
Excelentes dicas. Pessoalmente tenho pavor de bajulador!!
Trying to sell right away is a terrible strategy; you end up driving away potential customers. I’ve found that building connections is what works best.