itchertainment

Well, Shit

2016-06-16T11:09:07Z

Let's recap today shall we. I get home after picking my car up from being repaired because the exhaust was rubbing on the drive shaft and I get a call from my Dad. My Dog - actually my Dad's dog, but I'm the one who picked her out all the years ago - was dying. She was old and blind and deaf and senile, so we expected it.

I was given the option to go visit her before she was put to sleep, but it would have taken me atleast two hours to get there through peek hour traffic, but it would have been wrong to prolong her suffering like that, so I said no. Feel like shit for it, but I know it was the right thing to do.

Then someone smashed my driver side window on my car. The only thing missing from the inside of the car was an empty envelope I had in there sitting over some loose change (so the loose change wasn't visible from outside). Thing is, they didn't even take the few bucks, just the empty envelope. Idiots.

So now I've gotta deal with that, the cost and effort to replace the window. And I only fucking got the car back.

Fuck today. Really, fuck it.

Dvds to get rid of

2016-02-13T00:42:49Z

Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex
Cowboys vs Aliens
The New Guy
Batman Returns
A History of Violence
Oceans Eleven
Stargate Continuum
Insatiable
Avatar (film)
The Mask
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Heros (Season 1)
11:59
Pan's Labyrinth
The Devil's Advocate
Lady In The Water
Wanted
Coraline
Transformers (Michale Bay Film)
Sky Captain of the World of Tomorrow
Fellowship of the Rings (theatrical edition)
The Two Towers (theatrical edition)
The Return of the King (theatrical edition)
Hulk Vs
Bounty Hunters
Super Troopers
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Blade
Shriek
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Fantastic 4
The Recruit
Torchwood (season 1)
Bad Girls
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Shooter
Apollo 13
The Simpsons Movie
The Color of Magic
V for Vendetta
The Simpsons Classics - The Last Temptation of Homer
The Dark Knight Rises
The Queen
Pirates of the Caribbean 4
The Gathering
Pitch Black
Hercules the Legendary Journeys (Season 3)
Hercules the Legendary Journeys (Season 1)
The Amazing Spider-Man
Spooks (Season 1)
Supernatural (Season 1)
Supernatural (Season 2)
i, Robot
Dredd
Wreck It Ralph
Skyfall
Easy A
Batman Mask of the Phantasm (animated movie)
Wall E
The Hunger Games
Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex. 2nd Gig
Titan A.E.
Slither
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Babylon 5 (Season 5)
The Crow
Beetlejuice
Tristan & Isolde
Ultraviolet
Mr. & Mrs. Smith
Brotherhood of the Wolf
Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Arc
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
From Dusk Till Dawn (film)
Toys
Daredevil (film)
King Arthur
Angel Heart
The Usual Suspects
He-Man and the Masters of the Universe - 10 Classic Episodes
The Avengers 2: Rise of the Black Panther (animated film)
The Thirst
The 13th Warrior
Spooks (season 2)
Get Smart (recent film)
Bruce Almighty
Saving Private Ryan
Reservoir Dogs
Jim Hensan's The Dark Crystal
HEX (season 1)
HEX (season 2)
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Troy
Stargate: The Ark of Truth
Monty Python's Life of Brian
The LEgend of Zorro
Pokomon the Movie
Sherlock Holmes (recent movie)
Torchwood Miracle Day
The Losers
Dark City

Christmas

2015-12-24T13:01:14Z

^{Breaking Tradition By Stealing Some Art}

Guess what I'll be doing today. Merry Christmas

I present, the best picture on wikipedia

2015-09-20T09:05:00Z

There's just so much happening. Look at the redhead and her friend walking towards the camera. Look at the woman in the blue dress to the left of the picture. Look at greatest person ever to the right of the redhead. Look at the kid with the balloon to the right of that. How much more can you find?

A Friendly Warning

2015-09-15T07:47:02Z

It's the first warm day since the winter chill settled in back in Autumn. You read the news with growing excitement at the prospect of a warm day - a real honest warm day that's almost hot - and you think about The Dress. You know the one, the cute little summer dress you have in your closet. Sexy without being slutty, somehow it always manages to make you look fantastic, even if you've been cheating on your diet. It's one of your favorites and you just haven't been able to wear it for the past six months.

You put it on, check in the mirror and to your astonishment it's true! You look amazing, and after a winter of covering up, it just feels so freeing. Today is going to be a good day. Right? Right?

Well I'm here to give you timely reminder. The day might be refreshingly warm, but before you step outside in your adorable, floral, cotton ensemble, you might want to check if the day is also going to be windy. You may have forgotten over the long cold winter months, but wind and summer dresses mixed today lead to one inevitable outcome.

And now that you've been given fair warning, I'm off to enjoy my afternoon walk. And yes, you do look breathtaking.

Inquisition Character Arcs

2015-07-25T10:01:33Z

THIS POST HAS UNMARKED INQUISITION SPOILERS
I spoke about character concepts earlier, but I'd like to talk about character arcs. Static characters can be interesting, but I find it more interesting when a character develops and grows as events unfold around them. I touched very lightly upon it before but it's time to go into more detail.

Pay attention, there will be a test.

Rogue

Rogue started out not being very serious about the whole Inquisition thing. It was important sure, but he was mostly playing along because it was interesting, for a lark. Then while attempting to recruit the Mages and got sent to the Bad Future, the depth of what was really going on finally started to sink in. upon his return, tormented by fear and horror at what could happened he lashed out at the Mages, conscripting them into the Inquisition. When the time came to become the Inquisitor, he embraced the role of heroic saviour Inquisitor whole heartedly, and even began to entertain the possibility that he really was the Herald.

That only lasted until Adamant fortress and the trip to the fade. After the debacle with the Wardens and the shattering of his growing conviction that he was "special" or "chosen", he lashed out again, frustrated with their mistakes, irritated at having ever believed in Herald stories, and angry at the loss of Stroud. Disgusted and worried about the potential for further contamination from Cory, he exiled the Wardens from southern Thedas until the conflict was over. A decision he quickly began to regret as the potential problems of not having any Wardens around quickly made themselves apparent.

It was in the aftermath of that moment when Rogue had the biggest growth, the responsibility of his decisions began to weigh heavily on his shoulders. By the time of the Winter Palace ball, he wasn't just wearing the mantle of the Inquisitor, but actually was the Inquisitor down to his bones. Faced with the scheming from Briala, Gaspard and Celene he forced them to work together not just for their own good, but the good of everyone.

When it came time to pick a new Divine, Rogue kept out of the politicking. The person who started the game would have gleefully become involved with picking a side, and the pre-fade Inquisitor would have picked a successor convinced of his own righteous judgement. This was the biggest change of the character, viewing a hard limit on what should be his influence and the leadership of the Chantry as something outside of that.

When it came time to drink from the well, the decision was a simple one. They needed the knowledge contained within, and the geas placed on the waters promised that there would be a cost - one no one could predict. But he was the Inquisitor and that title didn't mean glory, it didn't mean power, it meant making the decisions that needed to be made, and paying the price that came with that.

Loner

Loner started out incredibly resentful for being dragged into the affairs of the burgeoning Inquisition and dealing with the Breach. Her life before had been - if not pleasant - comfortable and predictable. All of that had been taken away from her, and she was left with no choice but the stick around and go along with things for her own protection.

What she found was not as terrible as she had expected, the people around her were pleasant and likeable, plus they were united, filled with a purpose she had never realised she'd lacked in her life. Settling easily into her new role she got on with the job with a minimum of fuss, whether that be cutting down bandits, rescuing captured scouts, securing Templar allies or holding off an Archdemon to cover the escape of others.

Privately, Loner admitted that she didn't mind where she had ended up, and if it had been left to her own decision she might have joined anyway. So it was just as she was settling down that the decision to make her the Inquisitor was made, catching her extremely off guard. She accepted, but only with the most extreme reluctance and filled with doubts.

Convinced that the position was a temporary one, a mistake that would be corrected once it was clear she wasn't the Herald, Loner initially leaned heavily on her advisors and companions, acting more of a mediator for conflicting viewpoints than a true leader. Even the few independent decisions she did make on her own were heavily based on the Templar model.

It was only after the success of the Inquisition siege at Adamant, and when the revelation that the Mark was an accident failed to provoke calls for her to stand down, that Loner admitted that her promotion was not an error. Even without divine authority, the people - *her* people - trusted her to see them through to the end.

It was with a newfound confidence that she entered the Winter Palace. Where she would have once followed through the original plan to stop Celene's assassination, Loner made the shocking decision to allow the attack to go ahead, securing the throne for Gaspard whom she considered a stronger ally, and one who was less likely to play games or turn on them. She let her opinions be known on the next Divine. She shaped the Inquisition and world around her.

She wasn't without direction, or stuck guiding the plans of others to fruition. She could plot her own destiny, decide her own purpose.

Goth (this is a character I have yet to do, but I'm pretty sure how the arc will play out)

Goth had a clear understanding of the world, of what was important, of what was bad and what needed to happen. The mages needed to be free, the Templars needed to be stopped and the corrupt Chantry needed to be kept out of their lives. The breach, the mark on her hand didn't change that. The mages were still fighting to be free, the Templars still wanted to slay them all, and the Chantry to enslave them. Everything else was of lesser importance, minor distractions.

Goth was convinced of these facts, and nothing could shake that certitude. The mages were oppressed and needed to be free, so she set about using the opportunities of her new position to achieve those goals. The actions of the Mages at Redcliffe were troubling, but those worries were easily pushed aside, powerless against the strength of her conviction.

Then she met Cory. Ancient Tevinter Magister, originator of the blight, source of so much of conflict and pain in the world. And a Mage. In the face of that power, that arrogance, she at last saw outside her own narrow viewpoint, understood - if not agreed - why the Templars and Chantry believed what they did.

With the move to Skyhold and declaration of her as Inquisitor, there was always something to do, some urgent matter that required her attention or judgement, some matter to be addressed that couldn't wait, and as such little time to contemplate the new doubts made manifest in her mind.

It was with newly opened eyes that she went to the Winter Palace and watched in horror the chaos brought by those who couldn't see past their own short sighted desires. Pulling the best resolution from the mess she could, Goth retired back to Skyhold deeply troubled. How similar was she been to those people? Free the mages, but then what? Fight Cory, but then what? She had been so caught up in her immediate goals that she hadn't planned for long term consequences.

Heartened by her new resolve, she took the Inquisition in a new direction. Still focused on defeating Cory, but developing plans and carving a place in the world for them afterwards. Indeed she became so focused on long term planning, that the immediate problems were pushed back, and the Wardens continued to gather in the Western Approach.

Eventually it couldn't be put off any longer, and with reluctance she turned her attention to deal with the Wardens, and finally saw the other side of the coin. The Wardens were determined to deal with the future, that they lost sight of what was going on in the present, blind to the horror caused by their hands because their eyes were fixed on the horizon.

Again Goth realised her mistake, having a long term goal is important, but so it how you got there. The Inquisition was to have a place in the world, but if they sold their soul to get there, was it worth it? A balance was needed, to get involved with the immediate details of a problem without losing sight of the end objective.

And then something about turning her going back to chasing down Cory and drinking from the well, dealing with long and short term blah blah blah.

Inquisition Character Concepts

2015-07-25T09:46:00Z

THIS POST HAS INQUISITON SPOILERS
I've spoken about this before, but I have some free time on my hands today so I'm going to do it again. Planned character concepts! And you get to read along, so lucky!

Rogue

The first character I took through the game, human double dagger. Well educated and adapt at many things, but never really focused on any area. Jack of all Trades, Master of None. Kind of vain and overly focused on the appearance of things. Only becomes invested in the whole Inquisition thing after the time travel stuff.

Was closest with Solas, Cass and Varric, but got on well with everyone. Conscripted the Mages, exiled the Wardens, made Gaspard Briala and Celene work together and drank from the well. Aimed for ironic judgements.

As this was my first character, the concept is the loosest.

Loner

A Qunari axe and shield. Not the smartest character, but practical to a fault. She likes things to be simple and dislikes unnecessary complications. She never really had a purpose in life beyond survival and is drawn to those who are clear about what they want and have a strong drive towards it.

Was closest with V, Sera and Blackwall, but got on well enough with everyone except Solas. Conscripted the Templars, and Wardens, made Gaspard Emperor and had Morrigan drink from the well. Judgements tended to the harsher side.

Goth

A human mage, she was very smart and pro mage-freedom, but a lifetime of being told that she was dangerous led her to being self-controlled to the point of repression. Likes people who are smart, self controlled or just kind, but REALLY does not get along with the more people who are wilder or selfish.

She'll be closest to Cole, Bull and Dorian. Am planning on allying with the Mages, exile the Wardens, reuniting Bri and Celene, and drink from the well. Her judgements will mostly be about building power.

Bandit

A dwarven archer and my heel character. Selfish and only in it for himself, he'll piss off everyone and not give a shit what anyone thinks. This is the token evil character, just to see what happens when you constantly do terrible things.

I doubt he'll be close to anyone, but I suspect he'll end up taking Cas, Solas and Varric with him because they're the only companions who'll never leave. Will conscript the Mages and Wardens, put Briala on the throne and drink from the well. Won't make many judgements, because why bother?

Pink

An elvan archer and Pinkquisition character. She likes to think that things happen for a greater purpose, and while she is nice, throw in some survivor’s guilt and it should be a fun mess. No hunting, no stealing, avoiding killing if you can. I'll be trying to take the concept of “being nice” to the point that it's self defeating.

Needless to say, likes nice people, so will gravitate towards Blackwall, Cole and Solas. Ally with the Mages and Wardens, make Celene, Briala and Gaspard work together, let Morrigan drink from the well, and merciful judgements.

Herald

A two-handed human, kind of spoiled who buys into the whole "chosen one" thing a bit too much. Expects to be the most important person in any room, but isn’t mean to the "lesser" people, and is a hard core Andrastian.

She'll be gravitating towards people who share her beliefs - Cass, people who flatter her importance – V, and what no one else has - Cole. Ally with the Templars and Wardens, leave Celene in charge and let Morrigan drink from the well of heresy. No idea about judgements will play it by ear.

Coward

A mage Qunari. This is an odd character, someone who is a coward and liar, but keeps stumbling into dangerous situations where he survives. Ends up building an undeserved reputation for heroism that comes with some perks, so has to balance keeping the reputation around with the benefits, and finding a way to still be alive to actually enjoy the benefits. Will say whatever someone wants to hear.

He won't honestly be that close to anyone, but will keep Dorian nearby because he's flashy enough to distract some attention. Blackwall because he seems easy to manipulate. And Varric, because he's too adapt at lies and storytelling for Coward to trust letting him out of his sight. Cole is getting kicked out ASAP.

Will Exile the Wardens (too dangerous to have around), Conscript Templars (keep an eye on them), leave Celene in charge (don't shake things up) and let Morrigan drink from the well (why risk yourself?). Judgements will lean towards trying to build his "heroic" reputation, or getting something for himself.

Elf

A pro-elf, anti-human mage. Her motivation is pretty simple, anything that can help elves. Doesn’t like the Inqusition, but is willing to work with them because the Breach threatens everyone. And as a plus she sees it as an opportunity to subvert a growing human organisation.

I’ll be attempting to drag around Solas, Bull and Sera (she'll "save" Sera even if it kills her, it should be fun!) Cass will be the only human companion because she started there. She'll Conscript the Templars (a human organisation), and the Wardens, leave Briala in charge and drink from the well herself.

Old

A sword and shield dwarf. She lived a life before coming to the surface, had a family before she lost it all in a Dust town plague and left, where upon she lived another life as an enforcer for the Carta. She’s onto her third life now and has less years left then have already passed, she has seen a lot of shit and has a tendency to mother people. An Andrastian convert, she still doesn't buy into the Herald stuff, she's experienced enough to know that nothing is free.

She'll team up with Cass, Bull and Blackwall for my same class party experiment. It might change if that doesn't work. She'll exile the Wardens (keep them out of the way to protect them), ally with the Templars (they just need a helping hand), bring Briala and Celene back (poor kids just need to sit down and stop the drama), and drink from the Well herself.

Dad

A warrior elf of some sort, a concept I'm still working on. The gist is that "divorced dad", who still loves his kids but doesn't get to see them very often. Out from the world he lived in for many years, with the sudden sense that he's wasted so much of his life, he tries to recapture his youth - in short he has a mid-life crisis. The inspiration for this character? Why else would someone run around half naked.

And ... if I come up with another four concepts, I can fit every companion pairing in.

1) I had a concept for DAO and DA2 that I never got around to playing, of a Pacifist character. Someone who will heal and buff the party, and stun the enemy, but won't do direct damage unless they absolutely have to. That play style could work with a rogue, heavy on the stealth and traps. Also Coward's personality works well with it, so switch that over there. Maybe as a Qunari Rogue archer.

2) This frees a mage slot, so time to slot in a Mage Supremest. Mages should rule, are more evolved, etc etc. Fantasy Voldemort. Take an all Mage party and it'll fail horrible, but it should be an interesting failure.

3) Throw in a pro-circle mage. Someone who buys into the whole circle and mages are cursed thing. Human because of the Circle background. They'd get along well with V (unrequited love!), so she's in the party. Varric and Bull are also in that group but why would they be around?

Bandit is being kept free because of the concept precludes that, so Dad can have Sera/Cass/Dorian. Dorian because he's funny, youthful and energetic (midlife crisis), Sera because ... uh ... he's a heterosexual elf and not into the cross species thing and she's easy on the eyes (midlife crisis!) and Cas because ... Cas is awesome? Shut up, that's why.

Last concept for Sera/Varric/Cole ... the Professor. Well educated, thinks they know best? No idea what race or class. No why would they hang around Sera?

Umm, the Rockstar? Just wants to be fabulous and famous and play to a sold out stadium? No, too similar to Herald.

Uh, Thrill Junky. Only in it for the blood and the crunch, not much for talking? Then why is Varric there?

Santa? Jolly old fat guy who brings joy to the good girls and boys, but punishes the naughty ones? Big white beard, Red and Green themed armour. Shit that could work with Sera too, and Cole is good at making a list and checking it twice! And Varric can ... make ... toys? Need to decide on a class.

Well, shit

2015-05-10T01:09:12Z

I guess this is a thing now

What did I spend 120 hours doing in Inquisition?

2014-12-27T11:17:48Z

I've spent way too long dressing up my Inquisition characters. It's said that Dragon Age Inquisition is an excellent Fashion Game/Dating Sim, it's just a pity that it's all tied into that combat/exploration mini-game. In any event I've spent so long on it that I decided to hold a photoshoot of them. I had a complete, fake commentary planned out for each character where they react to the whole concept and are interviewed to discuss their fashion choices. I was putting effort into having the answers fit each person.

But in the end, the photos didn't turn out. Tactical Cam isn't that great for this sort of thing, the Hinterlands was a terrible choice for a shoot location, and using a camera to take pictures of a TV doesn't work very well. So I've scratched that idea. I'll revisit it once I finish Inquisition on the PC, then I'll be able to just screenshot and use the flycam.

In any event, here is an abridged version of what I had planned. Characters and a short little blurb about the thought that went into their outfits.

This is my first Inquisitor. It took me until the very end of the game to find an outfit that worked for him. It's all about the coat, and while I hate the boots I'm willing to suffer them for the coat.

I'll be honest, I didn't put a super amount of effort into Varric's outfit. The chest hair was a must, and I wanted to keep it simple as to his personality, with some touches towards defence and showing off his wealth. The helmet is part of a joke where he gets asked about it and tells an over the top lie explaining why he wears it. The reality is he wears it because it works and is comfortable - plus people keep asking.

Dorian. I don't really like most of Dorian's outfits. I finally settled upon the idea of making him a man in white, to carry the idealistic nature of him. Plus it has a vague wedding overtone which fits as he is a romantic. The question he gets asked is about how he keeps all the white clean while out in the field. The answer? Magic.

Cass was the character I romanced, so she had to suffer through my personal preferences in terms of her clothing. Which means black, maybe some Silver. The only part of her gear that wasn't custom made was the helmet. For a long time I had her decked out in gear that gave her the long coat, but that stuff couldn't keep up with the armour requirements. This is pretty close.

On a side note, I was really difficult to take pictures of her because her armour is broken with that arm attachment.

Cole, complete with "who?" joke was pretty much "we let him pick his own clothes" so he picked friendly colours.

I was trying to minimise the whole warden thing for Blackwall, because fuck him. This is only one of the only non-crafted armours, because fuck him. Really, why the fuck is he still in my party post game?! I'm not fond of Blackwall and don't like that he's still around post-game. My feelings might be somewhat showing.

Vivienne wasn't a regular part of my party until post game, but I'd already spent some time building her outfit. I went with a royal blue and lavender theme for her, and I had to give her the stupid metallic boots, because V would so totally wear those boots to go walking around the wilderness.

I picked a really bad spot for her shoot, so getting a good shot of her was really difficult. I ended up with as many pictures of her as I did for everyone else.

I'm not super happy with any of them.

I took these pictures last, so they were really suffering. Trying to get the helmet to show up without washing everything else out? If I had tried to do his shoot first I would have given up right away, this really is where I needed screenshots. There were a couple of thoughts that went into Bull's gear. The first was branding, when you're selling a product you need to have a recognisable brand, so you sell it as much as you can. He also needed proper armour because I'm not sending anyone into the front line without armour. The armour is pink because pink is pretty. And those pants look pretty easy to get out of in a hurry.

Sera sera sera. Despite the fact that she wasn't a part of my regular party I spent as much time on Sera's outfit as I did on my Inquisitor and Cass. She went through many changes, but eventually I settled on a gorgeous Pink and Black number. It doesn't show up well in the picture, but the leggings were black, which was very nice.

It would have been the final version, but right before I went to the shoot I noticed I had looted a silver thing that looks amazing on her, and has that adorable knife. So there was a last minute adjustment to the plans. The brown leggings aren't ideal, but we make do.

And yes, the boots are mandatory. I was so happy when I figured out how to give them to her.

Apparently I'm an Adult now

2014-12-25T14:08:56Z

My oven is shit. And honestly too big. I'll spend an hour heating it up just to cook a small meal for one (eight chicken nuggets), and even then it would take twice as long to cook as it should. Plus the timer on it doesn't work, and I had a horrible tendency to forget how long ago I put something in there. It was bad, and I've been grouching about it for a while. So when Christmas turns up, what do I end up getting?

It's just big enough to cook food for one person, which as it happens is how many people I am. Plus it's just the right size to use as an improvised weapon should some sort of kitchen battle break out and knives weren't an option. Oh and yes, it actually works. There is only one down side. Being pleased at getting it as a gift has done more than any other thing to make me feel old.

I remember when I used to get toys for Christmas.

Xmas 2: This Time It's Personal

2014-12-24T13:04:10Z

It's that time of year, time for everyone to gather around and admit that I'm better than you because I get to have Christmas first.

I win at Christmas!

Dragon Age Inquisition: Characters!

2014-12-16T09:14:11Z

Wrote up a bunch of my different characters for Dragon Age Inquisition for the DA Comm, and decided to cross post it here.

This is the first character I took through DAI (because, Cassandra). I really hated how he looked at first, but I stuck with it and he grew on me. Well except for the tattoo, I realised very early on that giving him that tattoo was a mistake. But instead of starting over and getting rid of it, I made the mistake and regret part of his history. He thought it looked totally awesome when he was seventeen.

Here is Ami. I play her in every game I possibly can. She doesn't regret her tattoo.

Purple is going to be my next character through the game. Her picture is a badly framed because the tactical cam doesn't line up with Qunari faces (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). I'm still working on her personality, I need her to be direct and to the point, while not being above relaxing fun, and generally distrusting of magic without being a total pain to play. Three guesses which romance I'm aiming her at.

I'm not totally sold on her make-up, but I think I'll let it stick and see if it grows on me. The character concept for her is three words "drinking the koolaid," she is the character who totally buys into the whole chosen one stuff. Also, she's going to be the Cullen romance.

My "good" character. Optimistic and always taking the good in the short term. When building her I was trying to avoid making her seem like a human with pointy ears, so she got the weird nose and massive, glowing green eyes. I'm not sure how well it worked. She's also my Blackwall romance. I have no idea how she's going to react to that.

BloodNerd! Named that for "reasons". He'll be one of the last characters I'll play, and will generally be rather selfish. If any of my characters were to try and make it to the black city with their mark, this is the guy. He's going to get so much disapproval from everyone, everyone except for Dorian.

My concept when building her was pretty simple, "not all heroes are young". She's someone who has been through a lot of shit, my headcanon for her back story has her losing her family before she left for the surface. I'll end up playing with her appearance before I use her, but the core of the concept is will presented here. I especially like the super-out-of-place lipstick.

I really like this character concept, but I'm not thrilled with the appearance. The concept (built back before DAI launched) was of Traditionalist Dalish, focused on reclaiming their heritage and all that. Naturally she's going to hook up with Solas. It's going to be glorious. As to her appearance, I like the hair and I like the eyes. I think I'll rebuild everything else from scratch around those two.

So that's eight characters for eight romances. I have one more character planned just so I can get all of the specialisations. No appearance built, no concept beyond a vague "chaos barbarian" idea. He'll either be a male elf or male dwarf, depending on what I can come up with. It will also be interesting to see the game without a romance.

Too Hot

2014-11-23T00:44:50Z

I've been very much looking forward to the release of Dragon Age Inquisition. I've been more involved in the build up of hype for this game than I have with any other. So what happens when I get it? The next day is a 40c day which means I can't run my electronics. Xbox turns off, expensive computer sure as hell turns off. I can run my Surface Pro 2 for longer, but it still has its limits. Which leaves me to a tiny little tablet. I even turn off my modem during the worst of it, because I sure as hell don't want it catching on fire.

It's bad. Really looking forward and then not being able to do it. In fact, not being able to do much of anything in that heat except sit in front of a fan as it blows warm air on you. Hellish, if you'll forgive the failing humour.

I'm about twenty hours into Inquisition and I'm enjoying it. It's too early to say for sure if it's any good, but we'll see, and I'd very much like to.

The problem? Friday was forecast as 39c and peeked at over 40, with a nice cool southerly arriving in the late afternoon. Today is forecast at 42c and there won't be a southerly until almost midnight. I'm not even trying to get some Inquisition time in this morning, no point spending an hour or two playing and then have to stop. Instead I'm just going to sit here, counting down the minutes until I have to turn my computer off, and slowly melting.

tldr? too hot, snd cld

I promised shitty card pictures

2014-11-21T07:33:38Z

I promised shitty card pics

Compared to a normal sized one for size

the back of the card

Note: Not the full collection, just a random selection

Dragon Age: Inquisition

2014-11-20T06:49:07Z

Close up of the book

No approval bar? Fine, I'll just record it everytime someone gives me approval or disapproval. In This Book.

Cloth map

But this is what everyone wants to see.

Sera is taking the whole thing with an appropriate level of decorum. Also Boots!

If I can find the room tomorrow, I'll spread them all out and take a low quality picture.

Also. I don't have to go back to work for Eighteen Days!

Amicula: The Dance

2014-09-14T13:53:01Z

This is as close as I'll ever get to writing a sex scene (I lie), and while it is clear what happens, it sticks with the fade-to-black to avoid-the-action. It's also another out of order Ami entry that I started writing because I had an idea of how to make it work. Then it got long. Really, really long. Three thousand words long, and by now I'm sick to death of it.

So yeah. It makes sense without reading the rest of the entries, so go ahead and take a look.

CAST
Amicula: The protagonist and narrator, a girl with burgeoning empathic abilities she struggles to control.
Elicia: A mysterious, yet interesting girl Ami knows. She has rainbow dyed hair, and tends to dress in multicoloured outfits.
Robyn: Ami's roommate, currently flirting with a guy Ami knows is a sleaze.
Jordan: Someone from Ami's past. A source of much sorrow, self loathing and angst for yet undefined reasons.
The Plan: A needlessly complicated plan to convince Robyn that the Sleaze is a sleaze, included Elicia's unwitting involvement. Not important to this entry.
The Dance: People move in time to music.

Everything had been set in motion about an hour before the dance was due to start, which meant it was too late to back out. Robyn wouldn't let me see what she was going to wear, so once she finished getting me laced up in my gear she scuttled off to get ready in peace, leaving me – literally – all dressed up with nowhere to go.

I'd arranged to meet Elicia at my room before I escorted her to the dance and her fake 'date,' but now that it was too late to do anything to stop it, I couldn't stop thinking about all the ways it could go wrong. I tried to put it out of my mind and wasn't getting anywhere when I remembered the bottle of vodka I had stashed away. I knew I shouldn't, I'd need an alert mind if I was going to pull off the scheme tonight, but I rationalised to myself that I'd also need calm mild which meant anxious free. So I had a drink, then I had two, then I had more. I was still drinking – and had a decent buzz going – when E finally turned up. I hid the bottle at the knock and opened the door to a vision of white.

Elicia's hair was freshly done, colours so vivid they all but glowed, but that was the only colour she wore. She had abandoned her normal skitzo-rainbow-coloured outfit in favour of a simple, unadorned white dress that clung to her from shoulders to feet. As it always seemed with her outfits, it was impractical for the weather, the only concession made towards the cold being a white lace cardigan thrown over her otherwise bare shoulders, and the hint of her normal black boots peeking out from under the hem.

She had always been beautiful, but dressed like this she took it to whole other level and looked more like an elegant, radiant angel then rainbow adorned girl I normally wasted time with.

Amicula: Wow.

She flushed pink, giving me a shy smile that was a stark contrast with how she normally behaved.

Elicia I'll take that as a good wow.
Amicula: Umm, yeah. You look … I mean … wow.

Her smile turned into a grin and she raked her eyes down over me.

Elicia You're looking pretty wow yourself.

I blushing in turn, unable to stop the blood from rushing to my face. She wasn't wrong, I looked amazing. I'd gone back to town to buy the outfit I had been admiring earlier and the black taffeta over skirt with petticoats alone would have been amazing, but combined with the long silk gloves and a dark corset - that did wonderful things to my breasts - they transformed me into a dark gothic goddess.

Elicia Shall we go milady? The ball awaits.

She held out her arm, I slipped mine through it and we set out together.

The dance was as I expected, filled with terrible music and people I didn't like. Robyn still hadn't turned up by the time we got there, so I did my best impression of a wall while waiting, trying to ignore the looks and glares people were throwing at me. I quickly became thankful that I had been drinking earlier, even in my half drunk state I could feel the pressure of everyone's attention pushing against my mind. Coming here totally sober would have been a super bad idea. As it was I only survived by keeping most of my attention focused on Elicia, trying to pretend all the others weren't there. Not that my Rainbow Girl wasn't without her own drama.

Elicia Ami, did you lure me under false pretences?
Amicula: What I, no-no. Why would you say that?
Elicia You promised me dancing.
Amicula: I did no such thing.
Elicia It's called a 'Dance.' The dancing was implied.

I did a quick scan of the room, but Robyn and the sleaze hadn't turned up yet. I hoped he hasn't decided to decided to skip straight to the traditional post-dance activities, if he so much as laid a finger of R I'd cut his balls off.

Amicula: People dancing at a dance? I've never heard of such a thing.
Elicia They really should put more thought into this non-dance dance. The name must have confused so many people.
Amicula: Next thing you know there will be guys and girls dancing together, think of the scandal!
Elicia A terrible terrible thing. Good thing it's just us girls here.
Amicula: So much better.
Elicia So?
Amicula: So?
Elicia Do you want to dance? With me.
Amicula: What out there? Around people?
Elicia You're hopeless sometimes.

She grabbed my hand and led me out onto the dance floor, near the edge but still too visible for my comfort. I could feel the pressure on my mental barriers grow as more people began to glance at us.

Amicula: Umm E, I don't do this. Dance where I can be seen. I really need to go, to not be here.

She hushed me and draped her hands over my shoulders, locking eyes with my own

Elicia Just focus on me Little Shadow, there's no one else here, only the two of us. And you owe me a dance.

My hands automatically went to her waist in response, she gave me another half smile, and starting to move in time to the music. The vodka was really kicking in by this point so I figured what the hell, and joined in. If I could survive it sure beat standing around being bored.

The dance didn't last long and some uptempo piece of shit I'd never heard of came on and we dropped out arms. She smiled at me again, an obvious invitation, and I couldn't help but smile back. I'd already survived one dance, why not another?

E was much better at it than me, her dancing embodying the whole 'Who-Gives-A-Fuck' attitude that was the best thing about her. I mean try not to give a fuck either, but I'm more of the hide in the corner, she shoves it into everyone's face. I just can't own it like she does. Plus I'm only a passable dancer in the best case, and petticoats weren't the best case, but with E still so close I got caught up in her energy and stopped worrying.

She was close enough that her flickering, waving arms seemed around me, close enough to see her laughing eyes glimmer with the coloured lights above us, close enough for my hair to brush her face as I spun my head, close enough for me to smell her, something exotic yet familiar – like a happy memory from childhood you've half forgotten. The scent engulfed and drove me.

The song ended and moved onto something low and slow and I didn't wait for her to ask, I wasn't done dancing. I wrapped my arms over her shoulders and around her neck, while her arms encircled me and she pressed her body against my own. She was unbelievable hot, a hard intoxicating, tantalising flame in my arms – and every fiber within me suddenly tensed.

I couldn't breath. The music, the people around us, the storm of emotions raining against my mind, it all faded until there was only Elicia. Rainbow Girl, the mysterious bewitching creature who treated the world like I only wished I could. Exciting, brilliant, always ready with the right words to take away my worries and get me all turned about and flustered. Possessed of an undeniable, almost inhuman beauty unlike anyone I'd ever met, and pressed up against me in what I now realised was a very thin dress.

The world had disappeared and Elicia grew to fill the void. I looked at her and saw all the little details I'd never noticed before. The spots where the many coloured hair dye had stained her skin, a pale almost invisible scar that ran down from her corner of her mouth to the edge of her chin, a spider-web of sorrow filled lines etched out between her eyes, eyes that were caught on my own, no longer asking a question but offering a promise, still glimmering with laughter, but a shallow mirth that was layered over a rare vulnerability she was letting me see for the first time.

She leant in and kissed me with raimbow stained lips.

I don't know what I did it. Maybe because I was drunk, too drunk to care about tomorrow or yesterday. Maybe I was sick of mourning Jordan, of the hatred and self loathing I drowned myself in every day. Maybe because E was an exciting, exotic, and embarrassingly gorgeous girl buried in my arms. Maybe I was just tired of being alone.

I don't know why, but I forgot all about Robyn, the plan, the dance, my tortured history and returned the kiss, matching fire with fire as the heat between us reached breaking point.

Time past, I don't know how much, lost in E's embrace. I remember only fragments of the evening, moments that swim in and out of focus. I remember moving out of the dance floor, back to the dark corner I had originally inhabited. I remember E being there with me. I remember more kissing. I remember the disapproval from the crowd around me. I remember the growing feeling of suffocation, unable to breath as the crush of everyone beat down on my skull.

Once outside things calmed down a bit, and I could almost think again. The night was cold and dark, and I tried to let it seep inside me, filling me with cool silent calm. Still half in a haze I made it all the way back to my dorm before I realised I wasn't alone.

Elicia We should have gone to my room, it's closer.

I jumped at the sound of her voice freezing in place midway through the door. E look at me in puzzlement.

Elicia What, do I have to guess the password? Or are you looking for a bribe to let me in?

I jumped again, moving forward on instinct, inadverntly letting E in who pushed it shut behind her. I moved to my bed and sat down as she began examining the room I shared with Robyn, glancing forth R's pink dominated half, to mine which was slowly showing touches of black as I began decorating it.

Elicia I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume the pink belongs to your roommate.
Amicula: Do I look like a pink sort of girl to you?
Elicia No, but you could use some colour in your life?
Amicula: And how would you suggest I do that?
Elicia I have some ideas.

She sat down on the bed next to me, her rainbow hair shifting as she moved and I only then got the double meaning to what she had said. She leaned into me and I began to panic. Her face, inches from my own mouthed words that were lost in the thudding of my hear. Flesh met flesh, her lips touched my own and with a flash I was back at home, in my own bed, and it was Jordan pressed against me.

I jumped away from E in panic, gulping down air. As quickly as it arrived the feeling left, and I found myself standing in the middle of the room. I sat down on a chair with awkward hast, while Elicia looked up at me, concern written in her expression.

Elicia Are you cool?
Amicula: I, yes.
Elicia You know we don't have to do … anything you don't want. We could just kiss, or talk. Or I could leave if you want, it's up to you.
Amicula: What do you want?
Elicia I've made what I want pretty clear, but don't feel like you have to do anything because of that. Whatever you want is find by me.

What did I want?

To not have this curse? For Jordan to still be alive? To have listened when she tried to talk to me? To have hesitated that first night, to have leaned back out instead of in, to have not given that kiss that changed everything forever.

But that was in the past, and dreaming couldn't change it. What did I want now, in this moment? I looked at Elicia, her rainbow hair disarrayed from earlier making my hands itch to smooth it out, her white dress clinging to her slim body, glitter dust gleaming contrasts across her cheeks, her rainbow lips smeared. The scar next to her eye twitched with impatience, I could tell she wanted to say or do something, but was holding back to give me time. Looking at her I was struck by the mad impression that she was a faerie, some fae creature sent to tempt and torment me.

She was hot, there was no doubt about that. Just looking at her made my heart thud, my breath catch and my stomach try to twist itself in half. It wasn't because she was a girl, it wasn't the first time. Sure none of the others had been like this, in fact the last time I been with anyone this intimate had been … Jordan.

I frowned, rejecting the thought. This was nothing like what happened with Jordan. For one, E was totally different. Sure they both had a unique approach to the world, but they were polar opposites. There was no way Jordan would have been caught dead in … would have worn a dress for all the money in the world, let alone one as revealing as what Elicia was still half wearing. And while Jordan was scary smart, and the things she knew could be downright weird, she had none of E's confidence. Jordan was always concerned with what other's thought of her, maybe because she was so good at reading then. E just couldn't care less, she knew who she was and if anyone had a issue with that, then it was their problem. True it could be just as amusing, but that's where the similarities end.

No they weren't alike, the situation was nothing alike, this different and why was I freaking? I looked at E, sitting on my bed in all her crazy, impossible rainbow glory and admitted it.

Amicula: What I want?
Elicia Yes.
Amicula: I want you. I don't know what it means, or what will happen. God help me, I do want you.
Elicia Then come here.

The panic started to well up again, bringing with it the spectre of Jordan before I shoved it back down.

Amicula: No, not the bed. I can't, it's …
Elicia I didn't ask. I'm not asking your past, and tomorrow will take care of itself. You asked what I want? What I want is right now, I want tonight. And the chair works just fine.

She moved across the room and straddled my lap, her dress rising up her legs and my I let myself give in.

----

I don't know how much later, but I was drawn from enthusiastic game of drawing moans from Elicia with my fingers by the sound of the door being opened. I looked up and everything seemed to freeze as I saw Robyn standing there.

For a moment, it seemed like it wasn't happening, it couldn't happen, not really. This was just another dream or something, I was just imagining it. But the moment passed and reality came crashing back down to the fact that my innocent roommate was standing in the door while I was half naked, with an equally undressed girl sitting on my lap.

I tried all at once to cover myself, untangle my hand out from under E's dress, and pull her away from where she was working on my throat. My success was partial at best, but it was enough to stir Robyn, who turned to run, slamming the door shut behind her.

The noise got E's attention at last, turning to the door and back to me and my rising embarrassment.

Elicia I told you we should have gone to my room. But where were we?
Amicula: E … I don't think, maybe we shouldn't.
Elicia Sure we should.
Amicula: No.
Elicia Yes.

She worked her lips and tongue down to where her hands had returned to their exploration of my chest. I let out an involuntary gasp, and was almost lost in the passion before I regained control and shook her off.

Amicula: Elicia, no.

She looked at me as if trying to gauge my meaning, then slid off my lap, not bothering to hide her irritation. We redressed in silence, and I didn't need any weird emotional sensing ability to pick up what she was feeling. I struggled to pull my thoughts together, feeling like I should say something about what happened, or what almost happened.

Amicula: I'm sorry, after Robyn ... it doesn't feel right.
Elicia It's fine. We'll call it a night.
Amicula: If she hadn't - are you good? I mean, are you going to be alright? I don't know what that was but I want you to be okay.
Elicia That's sweet. I'm fine, frustrated but fine. And we don't need to talk about this now, there'll be time later. I can't disapear on you, not even if I wanted to.
Amicula: Good, thank you.
Elicia Go to sleep Little Shadow, your dreams will be less complicated.

And then she was gone. My dreams less complicated? If only she knew.

Okay Cupid?

2014-09-08T10:17:19Z

I received this email today.

I'd forgotten that I'd made an okcupid years ago, and this isn't what it looks like. You see when I first made an okcupid account I didn't actually know that it was an online dating site, the real reason is far more shameful. You see many years ago when I was just a little skin irritation, I was into online quizzes. Like, really into them. So much so that I collected all of my favourite results into one big list. That list is a horrifying insight into who I was a decade ago.

With that in mind, when I found a website called "okcupid" that had a lot of online quizzes, naturally I signed up. It even had a function where it compared your results to other people, how fun! Yeah I was rather embarrassed when I discovered what was really going on over there.

The point of this post is that I've not logged into the aforementioned account for many years, and they're about to delete me, so they sent me an email to try and entice me back. I'm going to be honest here, if they'd sent a list of possible quizzes for me to take I'd have logged in for old times sake. But instead they send me a list of people - it's almost like they don't know they're a quiz hosting site with a small sideline of online dating.

Then again, if I were actually interesting in people instead of quizzes, I'm not sure that email would have done the trick. Go back up and have a look at the picture of all those exciting people. See the one the top right? Man, I don't know how I'm going to live my life if I miss out on Partially-Cloudy-Sky.

Dragon age Origins

2014-08-10T04:29:59Z

Computers Are Expensive

2014-08-02T07:37:31Z

Especially when you pay someone else to make them for you

Intel Core i7 4790
GeForce GTX 770
32GB DDR3-1600 RAM
250Gb SSD
2000GB SATA3 HDD
Storm Scout 2 Case
Windows 7 Pro 64 bit

So it should play any game on super high ultra stupid settings. It'll defiantly play Dreamfall: Chapters and in particular Dragon Age: Inquisition very well, which is a large part of why. And yet, I bet that when the time comes to play DAI in November, I'll still play it on an xbox.

Not tested with a game yet, currently downloading DA:O, because if you're going to test a new system you pick the highest demanding game you can find.

Well that's annoying

2014-08-02T00:55:56Z

I can't seem to reply to comments anymore. That seems to be an issue.

Mum's out of the ICU

2014-07-07T13:47:34Z

That's good news. Posting here seemed the best way to tell people. I'll go in and see her at some point during the week, and I doubt I'll mention this whole thing again because I try not to talk about personal stuff these days.

Thanks to everyone who spoke to me about this.

What's Been Happening (Mum's in Hospital)

2014-07-04T23:21:29Z

Sorry about the previous post, things are bad, but not quite as bad as the rushed stressed filled entry makes it seem.

I was in bed at 1:30am Friday morning, trying to get to sleep when my brother called me. Now it's never good news when someone calls you that late at night, if he had won the lottery and had decided to split it with me, that's news that can wait until the morning. Apparently he had received a call from my Aunt saying that our Mum was in the hospital. We didn't know what was going on and as I said yesterday, phrases "degrading fast" and "next 24 hours" and "leukaemia" were used.

Spent bit less than half an hour trying to get more information, and the decision was made to go in because ... well fuck, we didn't know what the hell was going on. My brother lives over an hour away, but I was only twenty minutes from the hospital so I headed in myself. Which involved trying to work out how to get into the ICU.

As it turns out my mum has leukaemia of some kind. She isn't producing enough stuff to keep her healthy and had started bleeding, so they put her in the Intensive Care Unit to keep an eye on her. They were pumping her full of blood and the rest of the stuff to replace what she was missing, so they could do a bone marrow biopsy. On top of this my mum has a decently bad anxiety disorder, but hadn't been taking her medication for the past week, so she was pretty strung out.

The good news is that my mum has an operation seven weeks ago, and she had blood work done then that was clear. That means what's happened has started in the past seven week, so we're on top of this pretty early.

When I got into the hospital, my aunt and uncle were there as well as my mum's husband. They were all tired and my mum's husband had been up for about 24 hours at that point. When I went in to see mum it became clear that she wasn't about to die, which was good, because she was freaking out with what was going on. Her heart beat was sitting up at 130 bpm and she kept having panic attacks when I went in, at which point my years of Cognitive behavioural therapy I do for my own anxiety helped.

I got there a bit after 2am, and was holding her hand and keeping her calm for three hours straight until I was able to step out of the room for 15 minutes at about 5am. I'd encouraged my mum's husband to go home and get some sleep, and told my brother's that they didn't stay when they arrived at 3:30, and at 5 my aunt and uncle left and I went back in.

I was there until 11:30am, about 9 hours of holding her hand, watching her vitals and just trying to keep her calm when she started to panic. I was hoping she would get some sleep, but she didn't. That was a special kind of hell right there, 9 hours of sitting there doing that, with no sleep, not knowing what the fuck was going on and just trying to be calming so she wouldn't freak out.

Just to mention, I have a fairly severe general anxiety disorder myself. I used to have several panic attacks a day, and I've got myself together as much as I have through brute will power. Sitting in that hospital room, I had to keep myself together. I honestly don't know how I did it.

I was there when the doctors turned up in the morning to explain what needed to happen, so I had to pay attention to that because my mum wasn't very lucid. I held her hand while they did the biopsy. Her husband got back right when she having the biopsy done, so at about 11:30 I was able to leave and go home.

I got maybe 90 minutes of exhausted sleep before I woke up again. My mum wanted me to go back in that night, but I couldn't do it. I had two panic attacks that slipped out of my control that afternoon/evening, and a bunch more that were borderline. I was exhausted and stressed and a wreck. Being in that hospital for so long, not being able to do anything was a special kind of hell I really can't explain.

I feel really bad that I didn't go back into the hospital, but by the time I got any sleep at midnight I'd been awake for 36 hours with 90 minutes of sleep by the time it was midnight and I managed to get back to sleep.

Yes a long post, my mum is in hospital and I've spent most of it talking about myself. The doctors think my Mum has leukaemia, but they're confident that it is treatable. They did the biopsy to test just what was wrong. I'm not sure if their confidence was real or just feigned for the sake of the patent. I'm going to go back in today and hopefully find out more. The long and short of it is she's badly sick, but isn't dieing. I'll say something if that changes.

I feel really bad for not going back into the hospital last night. I know my mum was asking about me, but I was flat out not in any condition to be there, and it feels selfish as all hell to say this, but I did need to do some basic taking care of myself. Still feed bad.

fuck

2014-07-03T15:55:23Z

Apparently my mum is in hospital. The phrases "degrading fast" and "next 24 hours" and "lukimia" were all used. In ICU Trying to work out how to get in there

My phone is only half charged. fuck. will be on twitter

Mage?

2014-07-02T05:30:37Z

looks better without the staff, but I need to find a way to make it work against a white background

It's my birthday. Can you guess how old I am?

2014-06-27T14:01:30Z

My grandfather once told me a story that happened long ago. One night after the rest of his family was asleep, he went out to the little bar they had in the backroom of their house, poured himself a drink and sat down in the dim light. The next morning was his birthday, he was going to be thirty years old, and that was felt tragic.

My grandfather turned 81 this year, and according to him what he wouldn't give to be thirty again.

My grandfather is a wise man, he has the intelligence to know what is going on, and the experience to know what it means. He is well worth paying attention to when he talks. I know this, but damn if my turning thirty today doesn't feel tragic.