What is art?

What makes it art, versus nature, or “craft” or noise, or a commercial for hemorrhoid cream?

Do I have to be broke to be an artist?

Some artists are rich – How does that work?

What is the relationship of money to art?

Is there any relation at all?

If I make art, and then I promote it as “my good art”, does it become less than art?

If I pile dung on a canvas, seal it with urethane, and put a high price on it – does the high price make it art?

What if the dung was special? What if it came from a rare animal – or a movie star?

If I melt chocolate in a microwave oven and stir in some dry cereal to make it look like dung – Is that art?

What if I price it high enough?

Does promotion – or the price – have ANYTHING to do with the artistic merit of an art?

If I try to charge a living wage for doing art, does that make it NOT art?

If I make it with a computer does that prohibit it from being art?

I knew a guy who used to put several layers of canvas together and shoot them with a shotgun and throw paint into the wound and shoot them again sometimes. And, then he put a big price tag on them and called them art – and the people paid a fine price for them.

Did that fine price make them “fine” art?

What makes something art?

Does someone else have to like it?

Does the guru have to like it?

How do you get to be a guru?

Can you just read the Internet or do you need actual hand-dirtying experience?

Does someone have to discover a deeper meaning of life by seeing it?

Does it have to change their life – or give them an orgasm?

What if it makes them angry?

Does that make it art – or mean it can’t be?

Does Wal-Mart have any art?

I’m not sure if I know how to make Art.

I do some things and I call myself “artist”.

But, I’ll call myself anything if it makes people buy my art.

Maybe that’s just “naming art” …

Is “art” in the mind of the buyer?

And, if it is, and if they feel more “moved” by paying more, then isn’t more expensive art – better?

I know that I feel more moved when they pay more.

Maybe I’ll move to a nicer house.

Or … maybe just … where’s my canvas and urethane?

Another idea comes to mind: Maybe it has to do with suffering. Maybe I have to suffer as a person before I can make art?

Maybe I could just read on the Internet about suffering and then I can make an art?

Maybe I’ll have to suffer as a “starving artist” for a while – and maybe that will make my work “art”?

I don’t know if I want to do that.

Maybe I can go to art school and then I can make art?

If it has to do with suffering, does the type of suffering matter?

What if I cut myself open and bleed on the canvass?

And, would I have to ask a higher price or a lesser price for that to be an art?

And, would I need to tell every detail about the process of making that piece of art – about the cutting and the bleeding … and the infection and the scar?

Would they feel my pain?

Would they be inspired to cut themselves open, too?

And would that lead them to appreciate the art even more…?

Or, would they be pretending to be artists by copying my art?

But, they have even less idea about Art than I do…

They don’t even know how Noah got to St. Louis – or what he built when he got there – I don’t even know if they’d call that an Art, either.

Was Noah’s Art – you know the St. Louis Art – was that really an art? (Is comedy art?)

And, the people used to call me much worse things than “artist” and they never even paid me to do that. I’ll let them call me an “artist” if they want to pay me. That’s OK with me.

It makes them feel better about giving me money if I’m an artist.

I want them to feel good. And, I don’t want them to cut themselves open...

Does art need to make a magical, ethereal connection between the maker and the looker? How does that work?

Is it my responsibility what someone else thinks they see or experience, or feel?

I can’t even run my own brain half the time, and now you want me to be responsible for someone else’s fantasies and feelings about my creative experiences?

What about information.?

Information is like a new God. People worship it and pray to it every day. They watch “the news” as if the news was true - or meaningful. And, to the extent that it’s not true, is it art? Or does it become art to the extent that it IS true?

Is art fantasy? Is art truth? Does it matter?

We can know about many more experiences than we can actually have. You read about climbing Mount Everest – and about sailing around the world. Maybe you could do one of those things, but it is unlikely that many people could actually experience both. Is it better to take the on-line tour of the Met – or to never know a damned thing about it?

Information does not equal art. Information does not equal experience. Information (sometimes, a 3-dimensional representation of information) is the fascinating by-product of experience. Sometimes, that experience was one of creation.

I think an art is the informational byproduct of a creative experience - and not the experience itself.

It is the husk from which the seeds have already been consumed.

And, the experience of seeing or feeling or using the art is not “art”.

It is rather the taking in of information, visually, tactilly – and perhaps fantasizing about the experience of creating – or fantasizing about the experience of knowing the creator – or fantasizing about a “connection” with the creator who had the actual experience - the “art” is only a hollow remnant of. We’ll call this remnant “art IB – for “informational byproduct”.

And, perhaps some kind of connection may exist or take place – between the creator of an art – and the looker or feeler of the informational by-product of the creative experience. But, such a fantasy of “connection” is entirely in the mind of the looker or feeler at the time of the looking and feeling – possibly far removed in time and space from the creative experience that left behind an art IB.

It is possible that during the art creation experience - we’ll call this “art CE” - the artist may themself fantasize about a magical “connection” with the looker or feeler of the art IB his creative experience will leave behind.

However, the artist may not know the looker or feeler of his IB art, and so cannot know what their fantasy may be when they look at or feel the IB art. So, fantasizing a connection may be a distraction – like wanking to a photograph of a movie starlet. Because art IB art is not art CE, and the starlet will not feel the strokes.

Thus, art CE is not a thing ANYONE can own – not even the “artist” - because it is a transitory experience unique to the creator, and also unique each time it occurs. It cannot be shared exactly by any other person – or even be perfectly replicated by the artist, themselves.

You cannot own art CE - only art IB.

And, some imagine the price on the art IB reflects the quality of the art CE of the maker. The higher the price you can get for your art IB, the “better” your art CE is thought to be. At least many buyers seem to think so.

I know from experience that this is true – in reverse. Because, the higher the price I get for my art IB, the more money I have for equipping my next art CE, and that usually makes the art CE more enjoyable, possibly larger – or at least more involved…

Buying an art is the experience of buying – and of owning – art IB. It is the experience of SHOPPING and of GLOATING. Those experiences are not art, though many shoppers like to confuse them with art CE. And, that is OK with me.

You can call me an artist - or an ice cream cone - if you will take away this informational byproduct of my creative experience and also finance my next creative experience, along with my rent and my bar tab.

I’ll tell you all about it and describe the creative experience in detail so you can fantasize about the creative experience. And, you won’t have to get your hands dirty, or your back cramped, or your nails chipped – or suffer the many and varied fears and frustrations involved in the process and adventure of the actual creative experience.

Just make the check out to…