If love is surrender then whose war is it anyway

ireyah @ 2006-12-05T11:18:00

2006-12-05T01:18:22Z

Tagged by xsacrifice.

RULES: List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.

[x] Maria Mena - Internal Dialogue
[x] Marit Larsen - Poison Passion
[x] Snake River Conspiracy - Casualty
[x] Transister - Look Who's Perfect Now
[x] Mirah - Monument
[x] Breaking Benjamin - Blow Me Away
[x] Frou Frou - The Dumbing Down of Love

Tagging: Completely voluntary - whoever wants to!

(I need an icon of Vala wearing enormous black stereo headphones - sooo cute, entirely motivated by Daniel/Vala fic)

16 Stargate SG-1 icons

2006-11-27T12:30:18Z

Save. Comment. Credit.

Previews:

17 Stargate Atlantis icons

2006-11-27T12:21:21Z

Save. Comment. Credit.

Previews:

ireyah @ 2006-08-28T21:58:00

2006-08-28T11:59:26Z

isaymckay ROCKS. Go check it out.

artword Challenge 007A - "Afterthought"

2006-08-21T08:00:13Z

Title: Afterthought
Writer: ireyah
Fanartist: nomorefrostbite
Genre: Fic and collages
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Implied John/Elizabeth
Spoilers: 3.03 Irresistible
Summary: She thought they were a lot stronger than that. At least, she hoped they were.

JOHN
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sometimes during the briefings he would just sit and watch Elizabeth as she listened attentively to his team-mates’ reports, trying to find a glimpse of something that alluded to what she was thinking or feeling. Outwardly, she seemed fine. In public. It was only when she thought that she was completely alone, in the refuge of her office, or on a vacant balcony, that he saw the way she suddenly went still and her brow furrowed, deep in thought. He knew what she was thinking, because the same thing kept popping up in his mind, reminding him of the fleeting panic he felt whenever he saw Lucius touch her, touch Teyla, touch any of the other women who flocked around him adoringly us he spun his tales. Part of him wanted to kill the manipulative bastard, but not without making him suffer for what he did. The enslavement of his colleagues, his dearest friends, to a boorish pig like Lucius made John want to string the man up by his feet and cut of his… Well, Ronon had it right.

He interrogated Lucius as they flew away from the city in order to allow Carson time to administer the antidote to the man’s "charms." He remembered how the surge of anger washed up through his body and gave strength to his arms as he threw the man against the console and threatened various parts of his anatomy. Before he had been civil, even polite, but all the while one little thing niggled at him at the back of his mind, ate at his nerves until it came rushing to the foreground.

Did he touch her? Did he touch any of them?

John wanted to make him hurt, make him bleed, make him scream the way he himself was silently screaming inside whenever he thought about the power the brute had had over those under his command, those he called his own. One look into Lucius’ terrified eyes gave him the answer he so badly wanted to be true.

I wasn’t too late. Thank God.

ELIZABETH
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The thought of what Lucius could have done to her and the others made her shudder, sometimes even made her physically ill. If John had not resisted his influences and brought an end to the manipulation, they could all have been… She shook her head as if to deny the existence of such an idea. Truth be told, it terrified her, and she knew others felt the same. Beneath the outward manifestations of shame and embarrassment she observed, people hanging their heads, avoiding eye contact with others, their voices almost whispers as they conversed, she knew there was a deeper feeling of lingering panic countered by relief. They all knew that it could have gone on for a lot longer than it did.

It could have been worse. A lot worse.

That was the part they didn’t talk about, the part they didn’t even want to think about.

From experience, Elizabeth knew that people longed to be free, that it was deeply ingrained in human nature. It was why she did her job, why she got out of bed in the morning. It was why they were fighting this fight and were never going to give up. But the control Lucius held them under, the degree of manipulation he used, was the complete and utter subjugation of not only their rights but of their spirit. She couldn’t stand it. They adored him. They wanted him. They would have done anything.

That was what kept her up at night.

She though they were a lot stronger than that. At least, she hoped they were.

ireyah @ 2006-08-15T18:22:00

2006-08-15T08:23:18Z

Threadless has a $10 sale on. Check it out.

Snagged from tehshroom...

2006-06-19T11:58:05Z

Icon Meme:

1) Comment and I'll pick one of your LJ interests and make you an icon.
2) You have no say in what I make. (You can make suggestions, though)
3) Put this in your journal so I can do the same. (unless you're unable to make 'em)

NAME CHANGE

2006-05-08T00:22:22Z

I have changed my username from IREIA to ireyah. I know, not much difference, but to some people Ireia looked too much like urea..... Meh. So, yes. Now ireyah.

ireyah @ 2006-04-06T10:24:00

2006-04-06T07:27:45Z

Happy birthday forcryinoutloud!

I adore you. :)

ireyah @ 2006-03-17T18:59:00

2006-03-17T16:00:25Z

Happy birthday rosewildeirish!!!!

6 A t l a n t i s i c o n s

2005-12-08T20:29:14Z

Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, no modifying, no stealing bandwidth, please enjoy!

Previews:

S G A W a l l p a p e r + I c o n s

2005-11-17T22:23:12Z

Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, no modifying, please enjoy.

Stargate Atlantis: 1 wallpaper + 7 matching icons

800x600 | 1024x768 | 1280x1024

brush set + image pack

2005-11-11T19:36:46Z

I've finally done an image pack for the brushes I did awhile ago.

Image pack | Brushes

13 Stargate Atlantis and SG-1 icons, plus a brush set

2005-10-04T05:17:00Z

Please credit in keywords, comments are very much appreciated, don't modify the icons or hotlink them, and please enjoy!

(qwirky, I made some Spanky icons, and there's a Camulus icon for wive, nomorefrostbite and emesque. :D )

12 Stargate Atlantis
1 Stargate SG-1

Previews:

Plus here are 12 random brushes I made for Photoshop 7. Right click and Save As, and credit me please. :D

emesque, the brush of the black photo thingy from Elysium's layout is included. :) I hope you can use it.

.zip file

Taking icon requests.

2005-09-25T05:19:00Z

Doesn't look like my last batch of icons was all that popular. Does anyone have any suggestions on subjects or techniques? And I'm also taking REQUESTS. Icons only at the moment, but if you want me to make you something comment here with the subject or images you would like me to use. I'm on holidays for the next week, so I need something to keep me busy.

S G - 1 , A t l a n t i s , + B S G I c o n s

2005-09-22T04:03:19Z

Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, no modifying, no stealing bandwidth, please enjoy!

My icons and wallpapers are now archived at my new graphics site Elysium.
( blame emesque :D )

9 Stargate SG-1
5 Stargate Atlantis
8 Battlestar Galactica

Previews:

S t a r g a t e A t l a n t i s W a l l p a p e r + I c o n s

2005-08-31T01:22:27Z

Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, no modifying, please enjoy.

Stargate Atlantis: 1 wallpaper + 11 icons

800x600 | 1024x768 | 1280x1024

Previews:

S t a r g a t e A t l a n t i s I c o n s

2005-08-16T08:55:54Z

14 Stargate Atlantis icons, all from the episode 2.05 Condemned. Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, please enjoy. :D

Teasers:

S t a r g a t e A t l a n t i s I c o n s

2005-07-22T02:10:39Z

14 Stargate Atlantis icons, all McKay. Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, please enjoy!

Teasers:

I NEED YOUR HELP

2005-07-14T02:35:18Z

I'm doing the World Vision 40 Hour Famine this year. I'll go without any food whatsoever for 40 hours in order to raise money to help communities in need.

This year, the money raised is going to support World Vision’s work in Mozambique and Tanzania in Africa to help families grow more food. Many families in those countries are so poor that their children get only one meal a day.

Every $40 raised in the Famine will help feed 6 hungry kids for a month. Funds will also help poor families prepare for natural disasters like floods, earthquakes and tsunamis.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

I need sponsors to help me raise the money. So, if any of you would like to help people in need (or see me starve for 2 days) please sponsor me. Even a few dollars will help.

All you have to do is follow this link and enter my Individual Famine Number in the box and fill in the donation form. Here it is ===> 670521467. It's all done by credit card this year through the secure official website, and all donations will be charged in Australian dollars.

I would really appreciate it if people could do this. Get your friends and family to do it, too, if this is something you think they would like to do. Hey, you can even spread the love around livejournal and stick a link to this post in an entry or in a community. I'm really passionate about things like this, and have done the 40 Hour Famine almost every year since I was in primary school, and I REALLY WANT TO HELP AS MUCH AS I CAN. Hopefully I'll be able to go further and do aid and community development work for the United Nations, but for the time being this is what I can do RIGHT NOW. If I raise over $200 I may have the opportunity to become a World Vision Youth Ambassador and make even more of a difference. After the 40 hours there'll be food waiting for me, but for some kids hunger lasts a lifetime. HELP ME HELP THEM.

S t a r g a t e A t l a n t i s W a l l p a p e r + I c o n s

2005-06-07T00:35:08Z

Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, no modifying, no leeching bandwidth. Please enjoy! Credits/resources here.

- 1 Stargate Atlantis wallpaper
- 32 Stargate Atlantis icons

800x600 | 1024x768 | 1280x1024

Previews:

S t a r g a t e SG-1 I c o n s

2005-04-29T06:02:15Z

23 icons, newest at the end. Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, please enjoy!

*WARNING, SEASON 8 SPOILERS*

Teasers:

S t a r g a t e A t l a n t i s I c o n s

2005-04-29T05:50:37Z

15 icons, newest at the end. Credit necessary, comments very much appreciated, please enjoy!

Teasers:

A N Z A C D A Y

2005-04-24T19:38:44Z

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old;
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

ANZAC was the name given to the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps soldiers who landed on the Gallipoli Peninsula in Turkey early on the morning of 25 April 1915 during the First World War (1914-1918). As a result, one day in the year has involved the whole of Australia in solemn ceremonies of remembrance, gratitude and national pride for all our men and women who have fought and died in all wars. That day is ANZAC Day - 25 April.

Take, comment, credit.

Fallen

2005-04-15T22:28:57Z

I've been having really weird dreams lately. You know, when you're asleep but you still know that you're also partially awake. It's in that refuge between dead-to-the-world unconsciousness and when your subconscious says "I'll just deny that I'm awake for awhile longer" that the most amazing dreams come to you. Sometimes they can be deeply profound, other times they're just plain weird. This fic that I'm posting is based on a dream I've had recently. It's set in Atlantis, and involves two characters. The problem is that when I was writing it down I couldn't remember who the characters were, so in the end I tried to put myself back in the dream frame of mind to finish writing it. In Heroes we see Daniel return to the place where he died, and that scene almost broke my heart. I was thinking about how he must have felt to have been kicked out of Ascension and how he came to terms with his own death. I thought about how I would have felt to have been in his position, therefore this fic is full of my emotions and thoughts on dying and losing something important (I'm completely and utterly terrified of dying, so much that it sometimes keeps me awake at night). So, when I tried to fit an existing character into the frame of the female part, neither Teyla nor Weir seemed to fit. The male part ended up being pretty much like McKay. If I rewrite it, I think I could make the female part fit Sheppard, though. I think that'd make a mighty powerful McShep fic. ;)

EDIT - OK, I've decided that it can pretty much be understood as a McWeir fic. :) / EDIT

I'd really appreciate any comments and feedback on this, because it's my first... would you call it a ficlet? I'm not really sure what it is. Perhaps just introspection and reflection. They do say that we all have to face our fears someday. Anyway, here goes. *hopes a pack of ravenous wolves doesn't tear out her heart and eat it*

____________________

“You don’t understand,” she whispered huskily, her head bowed. The breeze blew strands of her hair across her face, and she slowly tucked them behind her ear. She looked up at him standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a concerned look on his face. She quickly looked away, but not before he saw the strength in her eyes fade. She sighed shakily. “I can never go back.” He noticed the pain in her voice, and saw for the first time the frightened, vulnerable little girl that had always been hiding under that seemingly controlled and invulnerable exterior.

She felt so lost, as if she had suddenly fallen into a black hole of despair. For the first time she realised the enormity of it all and truly comprehended what had happened. Her hand flew to the spot where the Wraith weapon had pierced her side. She remembered the sharp pain and force of the blow, then the dull ache that slowly spread and grew with the blossoming flower of blood on her uniform.

“I died!” Her voice broke. She looked up at him again with pain-filled eyes. “I died. But the pain, the cold darkness, the harshness of it all … it all went away. They helped me ascend, and I felt safe. It was better where I was.” She was staring into space now, remembering what she had lost. He thought that she looked so sad; it was as if she were the physical embodiment of sorrow itself, and it was all he could do not to rush to her side and hold her in his arms. He wanted so desperately to make her troubles to go away, but even he, with all his knowledge and ability, was incapable of changing what had happened. He knew that it would take a long time for these wounds to heal.

“All that knowledge… the power.” Tears sprang into her eyes and she choked back a sob. “But I couldn’t just stand by and watch my friends get hurt! I just couldn’t. Not after all that's happened. Not… not after what happened to Peter.”

He remembered how Peter Grodin had died – as a hero. It had hit him hard, but he never let it show. He could not afford emotional attachments, and he hadn’t wanted them. But so much had changed since then. He had different aspirations and desires, and a different view of life. He himself was different.

“They’re always there, you know. Watching. Judging,” she said bitterly. “They watch it all happen because it’s beneath them to interfere in the affairs of ‘lesser beings.’” The scorn in her voice was more apparent now. “Ascension Rule Number One – Don’t Interfere.” She was growing more impassioned as she remembered the arrogance of their ancestors, the revered Ancients to whom they thought they owed so much. “I had to do something!”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, a solitary tear trickling down her cheek. “I had to do something. So I gave it all up,” she said slowly, almost measuredly, as if justifying to herself that what she did was right. She only half believed it herself, because she still wondered whether there could have been an alternative, one that didn’t involve so much loss and pain. She opened her eyes and looked out at the sea, the rose-tinged clouds scudding slowly across the sky and the golden colours of the sunset reflecting on the surface of the ocean. “I had Eternity, and now it’s gone. They would never have let me stay, not after what I did,” she said as she shook her head slowly. “I’ll grow old, and get sick, and one day I’ll die… again.” She couldn’t hold the tears back any longer, and they spilled over her cheeks and ran down her face in trails of glistening sorrow. “I gave up Eternity, and now I’m mortal… and alone.”

He moved from the doorway and walked over to her, only half-trying to hide the look of devastation on his face. He had had no idea what it had been like for her. He had barely even thought about what Daniel Jackson had gone through when he died and ascended. He thought it was some sort of grand adventure where you were a glorious, omnipotent being with really cool super powers – without the cape and underpants on the outside of your trousers. Not for a second did it cross his mind that there was such a price to be paid.

He took her in his arms and she buried her face into his neck. He could feel her tears on his skin as she cried in his arms, and he held her even closer. She was precious, and fragile. She was important to him, and he no longer needed to justify to himself exactly why. All he knew was that he never wanted to let her go. “You’re not alone.”