사랑해 ♥ 사랑해 ♥ 사랑해

Thank you~

yunho — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 08:59:54 GMT

Goodbye, Farewell, So Long - A Final Post

yunho — Tue, 17 Jul 2012 04:10:03 GMT

You should be able to guess what this is from the title. I want to make this short and simple, because there isn't really much more to be said than thank you and goodbye.

The past four years have been amazing for me. I am so humbled and so sincerely grateful for everyone I was able to meet over the course of my active involvement in fandom, whether it be Kpop or western fandom(s). I'd like to believe that over the years I have grown as a writer and fandom contributor, and, more importantly, as a person. I'd like to believe I have matured.

But it's been many, many years since I first joined fandom and I've reached a point in my life where certain decisions must be made; between love and opportunity, time and energy. I can't have one and have the other fairly and I can't split my time between things that are real in my life and the easy things that I've selfishly indulged in for years in fandom.

What I'm trying to say here is that it's time for me to move on. I tried for a long time to convince myself that there were still a number of people who cared for my work and whom I was obligated to post things for. But the truth of the matter is that the fandoms I once cared for have moved on to places I'm not willing to go to. Different fanfiction sites like asianfanfics; different pairings that I will never be able to support; new fans who've given certain fandoms horrible reputations.

Most importantly however is how these changes have affected my readers. I write for myself because I love writing, but I post my writing because it brings me pleasure to know there are people out there reading my work and enjoying it. The past few months have shown me that while I've remained stationary, readers have moved on, as they should move on. But as I mentioned above, I have come to that point in my life where moving on in the same direction is impossible. And so I've decided to stop. I love to write, and I love to share, but I can only write for myself, and I can only share with others. If there's no one to share with, there's no use feeling guilty for not doing so.

And so this is goodbye. I don't have writers' block; I'm not sick of my fandoms; I'm not too busy to keep writing. There's simply no one left to share my work with and I simply cannot keep sacrificing the things I want for nothing. Thank you to everyone who has joined my community to read my stories. In the future I will continue to post a few stories and at the very least, finish posting the works in progress that I have. As for new stories getting posted, who knows.

All of the experiences I have from these crazy fandoms are amazing memories I will keep for many years to come. I'll look back on these years in fondness, even the darker times of plagiarism and wank. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has supported me and thank you to everyone who took the time to read my stories. I wish everyone the very best in all of your endeavors and I hope you all find the happiness you seek, as I strive to establish my own. All the love in the world won't save a sinking ship. You have to either bail or jump overboard.

So, thank you. And goodbye.

Supernatural Big Bang 2011 - Artwork

yunho — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 18:48:27 GMT

Since 2005, first season of Supernatural, I've been on and off following the fandom, though for the past two seasons I sort of...fell out of the fandom, not really watching or paying much attention to it aside from reading some of my favorite old wincest fics, keeping up with J2, and reading the occasional big bang fic.

Well I got it into my head waaaay back in May, for whatever reason, that season 6 would be their final season and then somehow that got me scared that this year would be the last year spn_j2_bigbang would host their event. Which, obviously is beyond ridiculously but whatever ~~I get these moments of panic okie, forgive me OTL~~. So anyway, thinking that, I really wanted to participate in spn big bang this year because I thought it'd be my last chance to do so. Since I was so caught up with my other works and with rl shit at the time of writer sign ups, I thought, 'hey self, why not sign up as an artist instead?' So yeah, to cut the story short, that's what I did, signed up as an artist!

After months and months of slaving on the writer's part, and lots of procrastinating on my part (OTL), it's finally time to present to the world what we created :'D I'm posting my 'art' earlier than my assigned writer is posting her fic, but guys, seriously, this story is fucking amazing.

The story features Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles in an Avatar AU, wherein Jared is a Na'vi and Jensen plays the role of Jake Sully, the human with an Avatar. I won't spoil the fic, and indeed, none of my art is spoilery unless you're among the .01% of the world who has yet to see James Cameron's Avatar.

I'll edit this post with a link to the fic once it's up but until then, here's the art I did.

Title: Pandora's Box
Author: ratherastory
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Jared/Jensen

One thing (because there are many) that I really loved about this fic is how perfectly ratherastory captured Jared and Jensen's characters. Their voices are truly created through their dialog and I gotta say, this story has some of the best dialog ever. Every line is so seamless, everything flows so well. Their characters are very reflective of Cameron's characters, from the gruff, uncaring and cutthroat humans to the naive but passionate Na'vi.

Okay so the Jared in the above picture was the first image of him I'd ever tried to manipulate to look like a Na'vi and holy shit did it take forever. It may not look like it because I super cheated after manipulating the image by desaturating it but turning him blue was the first hard task. And then muddling my way through using the dodge and burn tools to create the effect of the lines on his face, and then figuring out different settings for the little stars, WHICH ARE SO INSIGNIFICANT but really pull everything together in my opinion → it all took me literally hours to do.

Then there was the nose and the ears. God damn was the nose hard. I liquified and blurred and warped and stretched and transformed that thing in so many ways and it still ended up weird looking. The ears I, once again, super cheated, and cropped ears off of one of the official Avatar posters and pasted them next to Jared's head. So yeah. And I ended up using a picture of Jared that's younger than I should have used. /facepalm

So then I tried again. And again. I made something like 5 different Na'vi!Jared manips before I finally settled on what you see above. It's much better in my opinion, but still nowhere near what someone with real talent at photomanips could have done. Did I mention this was my first time manipulating an image? It was.

One of the most significant themes in this story is the idea that what matters is what's on the inside (kinda cheesy, I know, but it's so beautifully written out). It's about seeing beyond what you can physically see. It's about striving to understand and not just act. It's what the eye can't see that proves most vital. That in mind, I wanted to make something to represent that, and this was born.

I really really wish I could actually draw, and hadn't had to depend on photoshop to provide the art for this story, because there is so much beauty in Pandora's Box that I just couldn't capture using pre-taken photos and manipulating them. I wish my hands were as adept with a pencil and paper as ratherastory's hands are with a keyboard. :( But regardless, this story is amazing and everyone should read it, it's that beautiful. If you've seen and loved the movie like I have, you'll love this fandom take on it.