Let's Get It Started
Hello people!
Well, we're growing slow; we have six members total (including myself), which I'm thrilled about! Thanks to everyone who's joined so far.
I guess I'll get things started.
I have intimacy issues. And maybe committment issues... I am very close to my mom and brother, not so much my dad (he thinks we're close enough, but I just don't like him very much). I am nineteen and have never dated or even kissed a boy. I am a virgin in every possible way when it comes to the opposite sex. I have always been a shy person and am not really good at socializing.
Whenever a guy shows interest in me, I get extremely concerned for multiple reasons: [1] I have extremely high standards, despite the fact that I am not all that pretty and not very skinny or athletic or anything like that, so if a guy expresses interest in me but just isn't cute enough, I get uncomfortable around him and tend to avoid him, [2] I am afraid of my parents finding out about a guy.
The second reason is more important the first reason: I am TERRIFIED of my parents - not just finding out if I go out with a guy or have sex with a guy - but just of them finding out if I LIKE someone. Why? I have no idea. They've always been supportive of me dating and finding a boyfriend. I just...I get awkward and uncomfortable talking about guys at all. Including celebrity crushes. How dumb is that?
And I don't think I can really have a healthy relationship of any kind if I can't get comfortable with guys, period.
Another issue is that I am never comfortable around ANYONE who isn't my mom or my brother. Anyone else makes me uncomfortable and I just want to avoid them and not be around them. I feel like everyone is constantly judging me, whereas I feel like my mom or bro love me and accept me no matter what. I don't feel like anyone else I would ever know would do the same for me.
I just feel like everything I do around other people is to impress them or make them like me - or vice versa; that something I might do or say will upset them or make them dislike me. I think I feel this way because it's how I feel about most people. If someone disagrees with me or really hates something I like, I usually don't want to be around them or talk to them. I don't know what caused that.
I also just in general have never been comfortable around guys. I'm awkward and goofy and embarassing like a freaking 14 year old or something. And no matter how long I've known someome, I can't get comfortable around them. Not that I've known people my whole life - the longest I've ever known someone who's not my family is five years. Maybe that's why I can't get comfortable around people? I dunno.
So, yeah, I have a shit ton of issues that I'll be posting about in the future, but for now, we'll start here, lol.
Love y'all - Mira/Doc/Kat *meow*
Well, we're growing slow; we have six members total (including myself), which I'm thrilled about! Thanks to everyone who's joined so far.
I guess I'll get things started.
I have intimacy issues. And maybe committment issues... I am very close to my mom and brother, not so much my dad (he thinks we're close enough, but I just don't like him very much). I am nineteen and have never dated or even kissed a boy. I am a virgin in every possible way when it comes to the opposite sex. I have always been a shy person and am not really good at socializing.
Whenever a guy shows interest in me, I get extremely concerned for multiple reasons: [1] I have extremely high standards, despite the fact that I am not all that pretty and not very skinny or athletic or anything like that, so if a guy expresses interest in me but just isn't cute enough, I get uncomfortable around him and tend to avoid him, [2] I am afraid of my parents finding out about a guy.
The second reason is more important the first reason: I am TERRIFIED of my parents - not just finding out if I go out with a guy or have sex with a guy - but just of them finding out if I LIKE someone. Why? I have no idea. They've always been supportive of me dating and finding a boyfriend. I just...I get awkward and uncomfortable talking about guys at all. Including celebrity crushes. How dumb is that?
And I don't think I can really have a healthy relationship of any kind if I can't get comfortable with guys, period.
Another issue is that I am never comfortable around ANYONE who isn't my mom or my brother. Anyone else makes me uncomfortable and I just want to avoid them and not be around them. I feel like everyone is constantly judging me, whereas I feel like my mom or bro love me and accept me no matter what. I don't feel like anyone else I would ever know would do the same for me.
I just feel like everything I do around other people is to impress them or make them like me - or vice versa; that something I might do or say will upset them or make them dislike me. I think I feel this way because it's how I feel about most people. If someone disagrees with me or really hates something I like, I usually don't want to be around them or talk to them. I don't know what caused that.
I also just in general have never been comfortable around guys. I'm awkward and goofy and embarassing like a freaking 14 year old or something. And no matter how long I've known someome, I can't get comfortable around them. Not that I've known people my whole life - the longest I've ever known someone who's not my family is five years. Maybe that's why I can't get comfortable around people? I dunno.
So, yeah, I have a shit ton of issues that I'll be posting about in the future, but for now, we'll start here, lol.
Love y'all - Mira/Doc/Kat *meow*