Wraith of Paintball
Summary: The students of Greendale finally gets to play another game of paintball assassin but someone is preventing it from happening.
Spoilers: Set after season 5, before season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community. And Dan Harmon can use all of this.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,994
A/N: A paintball story set after season 5 that wraps a J/A storyline about them not getting to watch a movie together because of the insane paintball master. Also just to let you know, the movie that Jeff wanted to see was What If?
A tall slim man walks to a lone figure painting on a canvas. The man is wearing a black suit. His black hair is tied in a ponytail. He hands the lone figure a filer.
“They have finally announced their next one, my lord.” The man said.
The lone figure starts laughing menacing as he drops the filer down on the ground. The filer is for an end of summer game of paintball assassin at Greendale Community College.
xxxxxx
“Dean! This is a horrible idea!” Britta shouts to the Dean Pelton.
Jeff, Annie, Britta, Shirley and Abed are in Study Room F with Dean Pelton standing next to Britta. Dean Pelton is holding one of the summer paintball filers in his hand.
“Come on now. It’s a way to end the summer. Besides, I got the janitors on board to clean up everything before fall this time.” Dean Pelton protests.
“That doesn’t matter. We’ve done paintball way too many times.” Abed said.
“And it feels like a chore now.” Shirley said. “Not that we shouldn’t do our chores.” She quickly said.
“Dean, we just finished saving Greendale this year. I don’t think this is how we should celebrate our accomplishments. Right, Jeff?” Annie asks as she sees Jeff texting on his phone, not paying attention. “Jeff.” Annie said firmly.
Jeff takes his focus off of his phone as he looks at Annie. “Yes?” He asks.
“Were you even paying attention?” Annie said raising her voice.
Jeff quickly looks around as he notices the filer in Dean Pelton’s hand. “Oh, paintball. Wooo.” Jeff said mildly as he raises a fist in the air. “I don’t care.” He said.
“Why not?” Annie demands.
“Because he’s a teacher. The rules states teachers are excluded from participating.” Abed said quickly.
“Which mean that while you guys are busy reenacting your favorite 80s action stars. I get to spend that day at the movies.” Jeff said.
“Really now? Watching what?” Annie asks.
“Most likely Guardians of the Galaxy. I pinpointed fifteen similarities between you and Star Lord so far.” Abed said.
“Or maybe it’s a chick flick.” Britta said.
“I doubt it. There are only summer action flicks playing right now.” Abed said.
“Hey! What about my paintball game?” Dean Pelton asks.
“Ugh, count me out. I think I’ll just get things prepared for fall.” Annie said.
“Ahh, come on now. I got a special surprise prize for the winner and it’s not theater tickets.” Dean Pelton said.
“Dean, really? You’re going to beg us to join?” Britta asks.
“It’s not paintball without you guys.” Dean Pelton said.
“Well I’m sorry but I’m not doing it.” Jeff said. He gets up and leaves.
“I’m not changing my opinion but hope you guys have fun.” Annie said as she leaves also.
Dean Pelton looks desperately at the remaining members of the study group. The group sighs as they nod in agreement.
“Alright, Dean. We’ll be there.” Shirley said.
“Oh thank you! You won’t regret it.” Dean Pelton said. He happily walks away. As he leaves the man from before walks in.
“Is this where the Greendale Seven resides?” The man asks.
“Um, yes.” Britta replies.
“My name is Yohan. My lord has sent me here to greet you.” He said.
“Oh, that’s nice.” Shirley said.
“Who is your lord?” Abed asks, interested by this man.
“Obviously Jesus.” Shirley said.
“My lord will be here on the day of paintball. He hopes good wishes to you.” Yohan said as he leaves.
“Anyone finds that weird?” Britta asks.
“You mean the part where the good man telling us that his lord wishes us a good paintball game?” Shirley asks.
xxxxxx
Annie is in the cafeteria eating at a table as Jeff walks over. He sits down in front of her.
“Yes?” Annie asks.
“Um, Annie. I was wondering.” Jeff said. Jeff pauses as Annie looks at him with concern. Finally, with a low voice, “Do you want to come with me to the movies?” He asks.
“Oh! Sure.” Annie said.
“Wait! What?” Jeff asks in surprise.
“I don’t see why not. We’re the only members not doing the whole paintball thing so it would be fun to do something with just the two of us away from Greendale for a change.” Annie said.
Jeff smiles at Annie. “So what movie shall we watch?” He asks.
“I don’t know. Surprise me.” Annie said.
xxxxxx
The Day of Paintball
The cafeteria has a stage set up inside. Dean Pelton is onstage with microphone in hand. Various students wielding paintball guns surround the stage. Abed, Britta and Shirley are in the crowd of students.
“Hello, fellow Human Beings. Are you really for us to end this summer with some paintball?” Dean Pelton announce in joy. The students cheer in celebration.
“Now before we begin I have some words…” Dean Pelton said before he is interrupted by the sound of a gong.
The gong continues ringing as the students start to turn their attention away from the stage. They see Yohan. He is carrying a heavy backpack and in his hand is a gong which he continues striking with his hand. Behind him is a man standing six feet tall. He is wearing a medieval brown cloak that covers his body and face. The students around them move away as Yohan and the man walks onto the stage. They stop besides Dean Pelton as Yohan continues pounding on the gong. The pounding of the gong goes on for a minute.
“You can stop now Yohan.” The man said.
Yohan stops as he walks off the stage to the left side of the cafeteria.
“Um, Okay.” Dean Pelton said. The man grabs the microphone from Dean Pelton with his left hand. “Rude!” Dean Pelton said.
Abed, Shirley and Britta walk up to Yohan. “Yohan? What’s going on?” Britta asks.
“My lord is making his appearance.” Yohan said.
“I thought your lord was Jesus.” Shirley remarks.
“Who is he?” Abed asks.
The man onstage with Dean Pelton speaks into the microphone. His voice is gruff as he says, “Greetings fellow warriors. I see many of you are thirsty for battle but that will be put on hold until I get what I want.”
“Get off the stage loser!” A familiar voice shouts out from the audience. Star-burns come out to the front row, paintball gun in hand.
The man seems to be in disgust. “What is wrong with your face? There’re stars on it.” The man said.
“Hey! You don’t have a right to make fun of me!” Star-burns said as he ready his paintball gun. A shot of paint hits the left side of Star-burns’ face, coving his star.
The man is holding in his other hand a paintball gun. “You know what they say turn the other cheek, so that I can paint that star too.” The man said. Star-burns looks shock as he quickly runs back into the crowd. The man smirks. “Does anyone else want to interrupt Lord Paintball?” He said.
“Lord Paintball!” Abed said in astonishment. His face drops in horror.
“What a horrible name.” Britta said.
Shirley notices Abed’s face. “Abed? You know this man?” Shirley asks.
“During our first paintball game, Troy once told me of this name. A man that took paintball to another level that even professionals feared him. He was so dangerous that nobody wanted to play against him.” Abed said.
“Because he was that good?” Britta asks.
“Because he was completely insane.” Abed said.
“Now then, I wish to duel the paintball champion here. Bring me Pierce Hawthorne!” Lord Paintball demands.
“He’s dead.” One of the students in the crowd shouts.
“Wait? What?” Lord Paintball asks in confusion.
“He died like this year or something.” Another student shouts out.
“Damn! I can’t fight a ghost! I’m not a medium.” Lord Paintball said. He looks at Dean Pelton. “Who else do you have?” Lord Paintball asks.
“We have Chang.” Dean Pelton said.
“No! If I have to fight that loser, I will paint this place blue and white.” Lord Paintball said.
“Actually that’s our school colors.” Dean Pelton points out.
“What! You’re called Greendale and you don’t use green? You’re as bad as Greenland!” Lord Paintball remarks.
“Well what do you want us to be called? Bluedale? Most of us are depressed as it is.” Dean Pelton said.
Lord Paintball looks out to the corner where Yohan is. “Yohan! Is there any other champions in this school?” Lord Paintball asks.
“There is one more. He’s name is Jeff Winger.” Yohan shouts.
“Winger.” Lord Paintball said in amusement. “Yes, the perfect name for a champion! Bring him here now or you will all suffer my wraith!” Lord Paintball shouts.
“Oh come on!” Britta shouts. “There’s like forty of us and one of him! We can take…” Britta shouts before a shot of paint lands on her chest.
“I want your champion, not your fool!” Lord Paintball said.
Britta looks at the paint on her chest. “Fine. I’ll text Jeff.” Britta said as she takes out her phone.
xxxxxx
At the Greendale Theaters, Jeff and Annie are waiting in line to purchase movie tickets.
“So what are we watching?” Annie asks.
“You told me to surprise you right? I think you’ll like this one.” Jeff replies. Annie smiles happily as they continue waiting in line. Jeff’s phone notifies him of a text. He takes it out as he looks at the text. His face turns serious.
“What’s wrong?” Annie asks.
“We have to go back to the school.” Jeff said.
xxxxxx
“Forty seven rounds of paint in your gun. Forty seven rounds of paint. You shoot one out. Hit someone. Forty six rounds of paint in your gun!” Lord Paintball sings to the crowd, who are also singing along with him. Jeff and Annie enter the cafeteria as they look in confusion at the chorus that is happening.
“Oh, Jeff’s here!” Dean Pelton said in happiness. Jeff and Annie walks up to the front row of the crowd of students in front of the stage.
“Seriously, this is what you guys wanted me here for?” Jeff asks, looking annoy by what is happening.
“Ahh, Winger! The champion I’ve been looking for!” Lord Paintball said.
“Who the hell are you?” Jeff asks.
Lord Paintball reveals his face to Jeff. Lord Paintball has short black hair. His eyes are brown. He gives a wide smile to Jeff. “I am Lord Paintball and you will duel me in paintball!” Lord Paintball said.
“Um, no.” Jeff said as he starts walking away. “I can’t believe you guys ruined my day at the movies!” He shouts to the students.
“Movies? Ah!” Lord Paintball said in amusement. “Tell me, was it going to be a chick flick?” Lord Paintball asks.
Jeff stops in his tracks. He turns around. “What was that?” He asks in anger.
“Ha! It was a chick flick! I could tell with that piece of tail that came with…” Lord Paintball said before a shot of paint hits his right cheek. The students gasp in shock as they see Annie holding a paintball gun in hand.
“Piece of tail?” Annie said in anger. “The name’s Annie Edison and you’ve just made the biggest mistake in your life.” She said.
Lord Paintball wipes the paint off his cheek with a moist towelette. “She’s a keeper.” Lord Paintball remarks. He smirks as he tosses the towelette to the side. “Well, Winger. Edison. I like you two so I’m going to take you both on!” Lord Paintball said.
“I said I’m not playing! You Black Rider rip-off!” Jeff said.
“Really now? Comparing me to that half handsome fool? I’m going to enjoy painting that forehead of yours!” Lord Paintball said. Yohan comes running to the stage with the backpack. He gives the backpack to Lord Paintball.
Jeff groans. “You know what? You’re on!” Jeff said as he grabs a paintball gun from the nearest student next to him as he walks up back to Annie.
“That's the spirit!” Lord Paintball said as he tosses the microphone aside. He takes off his cloak revealing a black unitard with silver paintball chest armor and leggings. Two paintball guns are strap on the side of his waist with a silver belt. On the right wrist is a silver button watch. He opens the backpack revealing a variety of paintball weapons. He takes out a silver metal lower half mask. “Tonight, I dine on sarcasm soup!” He said as he puts it on.
“Did he just rip off a movie quote?” Shirley asks Abed.
“Oh, one moment.” Lord Paintball said. He turns his focus towards Dean Pelton. “Quick question? How good are your janitors at removing gum from under the cafeteria tables?” Lord Paintball asks.
“I think they check it every once in a while.” Dean Pelton said.
“Then they must have missed the paint bombs I planted last night.” Lord Paintball said.
“Paint what?” Annie asks as Lord Paintball press the button watch on his wrist.
Annie and Jeff quickly grab on to each other as they hear the noise of the paint bombs exploding behind them. The tables in the back release paint underneath as it hits the crowd of students. The students react in fear as they start running for cover. Dean Pelton quickly hides behind Yohan as Abed, Britta and Shirley run for cover. Lord Paintball stands onstage in front of Jeff and Annie, holding a paintball rifle in hand.
“If you thought that was good, you should check out my rear after you kiss it!” Lord Paintball shouts as he opens fire. Jeff and Annie dodge the rounds as they run together. They hide behind the closest cover they could find. Lord Paintball starts singing. “My paintballs are ruining your café. Damn right, it’s ruining your café. I can end this. But I must see you beg.”
“I’m pretty sure this is one of the craziest things to happen to this place.” Annie said.
“This guy makes Chang look like Mr. Rogers. And that’s saying something.” Jeff said.
“Come on now! I want to see more life out of you two!” Lord Paintball shouts.
Jeff gets up and start running as he continues firing at Lord Paintball. The two continue to exchange shots at each other but none of the paint hits them. Lord Paintball’s rifle runs out of ammo as he tosses it aside and starts using the two paintball guns he has. Annie looks at the stage from as she notices the backpack laying there. She cautious creeps up to the stage as Lord Paintball and Jeff continue their shootout. Lord Paintball and Jeff both get hit with paintballs on their chest.
“Hah! We win!” Jeff said.
“Nope.” Lord Paintball said.
“What do you mean nope?” Jeff asks.
“This could be my blood.” Lord Paintball said.
“It’s orange!” Jeff states.
“I could be an alien for all you know.” Lord Paintball said.
“Just accept your loss!” Jeff yells at him.
“I will when you hit me with some real paint!” Lord Paintball yells backs.
“Hey!” Annie shouts from behind them.
“What!” Lord Paintballs yells as he turns around. Annie is onstage holding in her arms a paintball bazooka. “Is that my bazooka?” Lord Paintball asks. Annie smiles as she fires. Jeff moves away from Lord Paintball. Lord Paintball gets hit with a huge load of paint as it splatters all over his body. The force of the hit sends him flying to the ground. He lay on the floor as he grunts out, “Okay, you win.”
“Yes!” Annie shouts in excitement as she starts dancing.
The students starts coming out of their hiding place as they cheer in celebration. Annie tosses the bazooka aside as she walks off the stage to Jeff. Jeff looks at her impress by what she has done.
“You have done well!” A voice said behind them.
Annie and Jeff turn around to see Yohan carrying all the paintball weapons that Lord Paintball used and the backpack. He gives each of them a grey t-shirt. Yohan goes to Lord Paintball and help him up.
“Let’s go home, my lord.” Yohan said.
“And this is why I pay you.” Lord Paintball said. The two walk away as they leave the cafeteria.
Jeff and Annie looks at the grey t-shirt that they have. On it are the words, “I beat Lord Paintball”. Jeff takes off his painted shirt and puts on the grey shirt.
“Wait, we’re just going to let them go?” Annie asks.
“I don’t see why not. He was entertaining and this place is going to be cleaned up anyway.” Dean Pelton said he walks to them.
Jeff and Annie shake their heads. “Want to get out of here?” Jeff asks.
“Sure.” Annie said as she smiles. As they leave, Annie asks Jeff. “So were we really going to watch a click flick?” Jeff smirks at the question.
Dean Pelton announces in excitement, “Well, now that’s done! Let’s get started on paintball! The winner gets tickets to Cold Play!” He reaches into his pant pocket to show the tickets to the students. He stops as he quickly announces, “Um, I think I might have lost the tickets. Can you all help me look around for them?”
xxxxxx
A limo leaves Greendale Community College. Inside the limo, Lord Paintball wiping the paint off his face with a towel. Yohan is in the driver’s seat as he drives the limo.
“Well that was fun!” Lord Paintball states. “Too bad, I lost though!” He said as he laughs.
“You are always a winner, my lord.” Yohan said.
“But I didn’t win anything. A lord can’t leave empty handed.” Lord Paintball said.
“Well, if it makes you feel better. I did find a pair of tickets to Coldplay while we were there, my lord.” Yohan said.
Lord Paintball smiles. “Let’s talk about that raise of yours!” He said as they drive off.
Spoilers: Set after season 5, before season 6.
Disclaimer: I don't own Community. And Dan Harmon can use all of this.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,994
A/N: A paintball story set after season 5 that wraps a J/A storyline about them not getting to watch a movie together because of the insane paintball master. Also just to let you know, the movie that Jeff wanted to see was What If?
A tall slim man walks to a lone figure painting on a canvas. The man is wearing a black suit. His black hair is tied in a ponytail. He hands the lone figure a filer.
“They have finally announced their next one, my lord.” The man said.
The lone figure starts laughing menacing as he drops the filer down on the ground. The filer is for an end of summer game of paintball assassin at Greendale Community College.
xxxxxx
“Dean! This is a horrible idea!” Britta shouts to the Dean Pelton.
Jeff, Annie, Britta, Shirley and Abed are in Study Room F with Dean Pelton standing next to Britta. Dean Pelton is holding one of the summer paintball filers in his hand.
“Come on now. It’s a way to end the summer. Besides, I got the janitors on board to clean up everything before fall this time.” Dean Pelton protests.
“That doesn’t matter. We’ve done paintball way too many times.” Abed said.
“And it feels like a chore now.” Shirley said. “Not that we shouldn’t do our chores.” She quickly said.
“Dean, we just finished saving Greendale this year. I don’t think this is how we should celebrate our accomplishments. Right, Jeff?” Annie asks as she sees Jeff texting on his phone, not paying attention. “Jeff.” Annie said firmly.
Jeff takes his focus off of his phone as he looks at Annie. “Yes?” He asks.
“Were you even paying attention?” Annie said raising her voice.
Jeff quickly looks around as he notices the filer in Dean Pelton’s hand. “Oh, paintball. Wooo.” Jeff said mildly as he raises a fist in the air. “I don’t care.” He said.
“Why not?” Annie demands.
“Because he’s a teacher. The rules states teachers are excluded from participating.” Abed said quickly.
“Which mean that while you guys are busy reenacting your favorite 80s action stars. I get to spend that day at the movies.” Jeff said.
“Really now? Watching what?” Annie asks.
“Most likely Guardians of the Galaxy. I pinpointed fifteen similarities between you and Star Lord so far.” Abed said.
“Or maybe it’s a chick flick.” Britta said.
“I doubt it. There are only summer action flicks playing right now.” Abed said.
“Hey! What about my paintball game?” Dean Pelton asks.
“Ugh, count me out. I think I’ll just get things prepared for fall.” Annie said.
“Ahh, come on now. I got a special surprise prize for the winner and it’s not theater tickets.” Dean Pelton said.
“Dean, really? You’re going to beg us to join?” Britta asks.
“It’s not paintball without you guys.” Dean Pelton said.
“Well I’m sorry but I’m not doing it.” Jeff said. He gets up and leaves.
“I’m not changing my opinion but hope you guys have fun.” Annie said as she leaves also.
Dean Pelton looks desperately at the remaining members of the study group. The group sighs as they nod in agreement.
“Alright, Dean. We’ll be there.” Shirley said.
“Oh thank you! You won’t regret it.” Dean Pelton said. He happily walks away. As he leaves the man from before walks in.
“Is this where the Greendale Seven resides?” The man asks.
“Um, yes.” Britta replies.
“My name is Yohan. My lord has sent me here to greet you.” He said.
“Oh, that’s nice.” Shirley said.
“Who is your lord?” Abed asks, interested by this man.
“Obviously Jesus.” Shirley said.
“My lord will be here on the day of paintball. He hopes good wishes to you.” Yohan said as he leaves.
“Anyone finds that weird?” Britta asks.
“You mean the part where the good man telling us that his lord wishes us a good paintball game?” Shirley asks.
xxxxxx
Annie is in the cafeteria eating at a table as Jeff walks over. He sits down in front of her.
“Yes?” Annie asks.
“Um, Annie. I was wondering.” Jeff said. Jeff pauses as Annie looks at him with concern. Finally, with a low voice, “Do you want to come with me to the movies?” He asks.
“Oh! Sure.” Annie said.
“Wait! What?” Jeff asks in surprise.
“I don’t see why not. We’re the only members not doing the whole paintball thing so it would be fun to do something with just the two of us away from Greendale for a change.” Annie said.
Jeff smiles at Annie. “So what movie shall we watch?” He asks.
“I don’t know. Surprise me.” Annie said.
xxxxxx
The Day of Paintball
The cafeteria has a stage set up inside. Dean Pelton is onstage with microphone in hand. Various students wielding paintball guns surround the stage. Abed, Britta and Shirley are in the crowd of students.
“Hello, fellow Human Beings. Are you really for us to end this summer with some paintball?” Dean Pelton announce in joy. The students cheer in celebration.
“Now before we begin I have some words…” Dean Pelton said before he is interrupted by the sound of a gong.
The gong continues ringing as the students start to turn their attention away from the stage. They see Yohan. He is carrying a heavy backpack and in his hand is a gong which he continues striking with his hand. Behind him is a man standing six feet tall. He is wearing a medieval brown cloak that covers his body and face. The students around them move away as Yohan and the man walks onto the stage. They stop besides Dean Pelton as Yohan continues pounding on the gong. The pounding of the gong goes on for a minute.
“You can stop now Yohan.” The man said.
Yohan stops as he walks off the stage to the left side of the cafeteria.
“Um, Okay.” Dean Pelton said. The man grabs the microphone from Dean Pelton with his left hand. “Rude!” Dean Pelton said.
Abed, Shirley and Britta walk up to Yohan. “Yohan? What’s going on?” Britta asks.
“My lord is making his appearance.” Yohan said.
“I thought your lord was Jesus.” Shirley remarks.
“Who is he?” Abed asks.
The man onstage with Dean Pelton speaks into the microphone. His voice is gruff as he says, “Greetings fellow warriors. I see many of you are thirsty for battle but that will be put on hold until I get what I want.”
“Get off the stage loser!” A familiar voice shouts out from the audience. Star-burns come out to the front row, paintball gun in hand.
The man seems to be in disgust. “What is wrong with your face? There’re stars on it.” The man said.
“Hey! You don’t have a right to make fun of me!” Star-burns said as he ready his paintball gun. A shot of paint hits the left side of Star-burns’ face, coving his star.
The man is holding in his other hand a paintball gun. “You know what they say turn the other cheek, so that I can paint that star too.” The man said. Star-burns looks shock as he quickly runs back into the crowd. The man smirks. “Does anyone else want to interrupt Lord Paintball?” He said.
“Lord Paintball!” Abed said in astonishment. His face drops in horror.
“What a horrible name.” Britta said.
Shirley notices Abed’s face. “Abed? You know this man?” Shirley asks.
“During our first paintball game, Troy once told me of this name. A man that took paintball to another level that even professionals feared him. He was so dangerous that nobody wanted to play against him.” Abed said.
“Because he was that good?” Britta asks.
“Because he was completely insane.” Abed said.
“Now then, I wish to duel the paintball champion here. Bring me Pierce Hawthorne!” Lord Paintball demands.
“He’s dead.” One of the students in the crowd shouts.
“Wait? What?” Lord Paintball asks in confusion.
“He died like this year or something.” Another student shouts out.
“Damn! I can’t fight a ghost! I’m not a medium.” Lord Paintball said. He looks at Dean Pelton. “Who else do you have?” Lord Paintball asks.
“We have Chang.” Dean Pelton said.
“No! If I have to fight that loser, I will paint this place blue and white.” Lord Paintball said.
“Actually that’s our school colors.” Dean Pelton points out.
“What! You’re called Greendale and you don’t use green? You’re as bad as Greenland!” Lord Paintball remarks.
“Well what do you want us to be called? Bluedale? Most of us are depressed as it is.” Dean Pelton said.
Lord Paintball looks out to the corner where Yohan is. “Yohan! Is there any other champions in this school?” Lord Paintball asks.
“There is one more. He’s name is Jeff Winger.” Yohan shouts.
“Winger.” Lord Paintball said in amusement. “Yes, the perfect name for a champion! Bring him here now or you will all suffer my wraith!” Lord Paintball shouts.
“Oh come on!” Britta shouts. “There’s like forty of us and one of him! We can take…” Britta shouts before a shot of paint lands on her chest.
“I want your champion, not your fool!” Lord Paintball said.
Britta looks at the paint on her chest. “Fine. I’ll text Jeff.” Britta said as she takes out her phone.
xxxxxx
At the Greendale Theaters, Jeff and Annie are waiting in line to purchase movie tickets.
“So what are we watching?” Annie asks.
“You told me to surprise you right? I think you’ll like this one.” Jeff replies. Annie smiles happily as they continue waiting in line. Jeff’s phone notifies him of a text. He takes it out as he looks at the text. His face turns serious.
“What’s wrong?” Annie asks.
“We have to go back to the school.” Jeff said.
xxxxxx
“Forty seven rounds of paint in your gun. Forty seven rounds of paint. You shoot one out. Hit someone. Forty six rounds of paint in your gun!” Lord Paintball sings to the crowd, who are also singing along with him. Jeff and Annie enter the cafeteria as they look in confusion at the chorus that is happening.
“Oh, Jeff’s here!” Dean Pelton said in happiness. Jeff and Annie walks up to the front row of the crowd of students in front of the stage.
“Seriously, this is what you guys wanted me here for?” Jeff asks, looking annoy by what is happening.
“Ahh, Winger! The champion I’ve been looking for!” Lord Paintball said.
“Who the hell are you?” Jeff asks.
Lord Paintball reveals his face to Jeff. Lord Paintball has short black hair. His eyes are brown. He gives a wide smile to Jeff. “I am Lord Paintball and you will duel me in paintball!” Lord Paintball said.
“Um, no.” Jeff said as he starts walking away. “I can’t believe you guys ruined my day at the movies!” He shouts to the students.
“Movies? Ah!” Lord Paintball said in amusement. “Tell me, was it going to be a chick flick?” Lord Paintball asks.
Jeff stops in his tracks. He turns around. “What was that?” He asks in anger.
“Ha! It was a chick flick! I could tell with that piece of tail that came with…” Lord Paintball said before a shot of paint hits his right cheek. The students gasp in shock as they see Annie holding a paintball gun in hand.
“Piece of tail?” Annie said in anger. “The name’s Annie Edison and you’ve just made the biggest mistake in your life.” She said.
Lord Paintball wipes the paint off his cheek with a moist towelette. “She’s a keeper.” Lord Paintball remarks. He smirks as he tosses the towelette to the side. “Well, Winger. Edison. I like you two so I’m going to take you both on!” Lord Paintball said.
“I said I’m not playing! You Black Rider rip-off!” Jeff said.
“Really now? Comparing me to that half handsome fool? I’m going to enjoy painting that forehead of yours!” Lord Paintball said. Yohan comes running to the stage with the backpack. He gives the backpack to Lord Paintball.
Jeff groans. “You know what? You’re on!” Jeff said as he grabs a paintball gun from the nearest student next to him as he walks up back to Annie.
“That's the spirit!” Lord Paintball said as he tosses the microphone aside. He takes off his cloak revealing a black unitard with silver paintball chest armor and leggings. Two paintball guns are strap on the side of his waist with a silver belt. On the right wrist is a silver button watch. He opens the backpack revealing a variety of paintball weapons. He takes out a silver metal lower half mask. “Tonight, I dine on sarcasm soup!” He said as he puts it on.
“Did he just rip off a movie quote?” Shirley asks Abed.
“Oh, one moment.” Lord Paintball said. He turns his focus towards Dean Pelton. “Quick question? How good are your janitors at removing gum from under the cafeteria tables?” Lord Paintball asks.
“I think they check it every once in a while.” Dean Pelton said.
“Then they must have missed the paint bombs I planted last night.” Lord Paintball said.
“Paint what?” Annie asks as Lord Paintball press the button watch on his wrist.
Annie and Jeff quickly grab on to each other as they hear the noise of the paint bombs exploding behind them. The tables in the back release paint underneath as it hits the crowd of students. The students react in fear as they start running for cover. Dean Pelton quickly hides behind Yohan as Abed, Britta and Shirley run for cover. Lord Paintball stands onstage in front of Jeff and Annie, holding a paintball rifle in hand.
“If you thought that was good, you should check out my rear after you kiss it!” Lord Paintball shouts as he opens fire. Jeff and Annie dodge the rounds as they run together. They hide behind the closest cover they could find. Lord Paintball starts singing. “My paintballs are ruining your café. Damn right, it’s ruining your café. I can end this. But I must see you beg.”
“I’m pretty sure this is one of the craziest things to happen to this place.” Annie said.
“This guy makes Chang look like Mr. Rogers. And that’s saying something.” Jeff said.
“Come on now! I want to see more life out of you two!” Lord Paintball shouts.
Jeff gets up and start running as he continues firing at Lord Paintball. The two continue to exchange shots at each other but none of the paint hits them. Lord Paintball’s rifle runs out of ammo as he tosses it aside and starts using the two paintball guns he has. Annie looks at the stage from as she notices the backpack laying there. She cautious creeps up to the stage as Lord Paintball and Jeff continue their shootout. Lord Paintball and Jeff both get hit with paintballs on their chest.
“Hah! We win!” Jeff said.
“Nope.” Lord Paintball said.
“What do you mean nope?” Jeff asks.
“This could be my blood.” Lord Paintball said.
“It’s orange!” Jeff states.
“I could be an alien for all you know.” Lord Paintball said.
“Just accept your loss!” Jeff yells at him.
“I will when you hit me with some real paint!” Lord Paintball yells backs.
“Hey!” Annie shouts from behind them.
“What!” Lord Paintballs yells as he turns around. Annie is onstage holding in her arms a paintball bazooka. “Is that my bazooka?” Lord Paintball asks. Annie smiles as she fires. Jeff moves away from Lord Paintball. Lord Paintball gets hit with a huge load of paint as it splatters all over his body. The force of the hit sends him flying to the ground. He lay on the floor as he grunts out, “Okay, you win.”
“Yes!” Annie shouts in excitement as she starts dancing.
The students starts coming out of their hiding place as they cheer in celebration. Annie tosses the bazooka aside as she walks off the stage to Jeff. Jeff looks at her impress by what she has done.
“You have done well!” A voice said behind them.
Annie and Jeff turn around to see Yohan carrying all the paintball weapons that Lord Paintball used and the backpack. He gives each of them a grey t-shirt. Yohan goes to Lord Paintball and help him up.
“Let’s go home, my lord.” Yohan said.
“And this is why I pay you.” Lord Paintball said. The two walk away as they leave the cafeteria.
Jeff and Annie looks at the grey t-shirt that they have. On it are the words, “I beat Lord Paintball”. Jeff takes off his painted shirt and puts on the grey shirt.
“Wait, we’re just going to let them go?” Annie asks.
“I don’t see why not. He was entertaining and this place is going to be cleaned up anyway.” Dean Pelton said he walks to them.
Jeff and Annie shake their heads. “Want to get out of here?” Jeff asks.
“Sure.” Annie said as she smiles. As they leave, Annie asks Jeff. “So were we really going to watch a click flick?” Jeff smirks at the question.
Dean Pelton announces in excitement, “Well, now that’s done! Let’s get started on paintball! The winner gets tickets to Cold Play!” He reaches into his pant pocket to show the tickets to the students. He stops as he quickly announces, “Um, I think I might have lost the tickets. Can you all help me look around for them?”
xxxxxx
A limo leaves Greendale Community College. Inside the limo, Lord Paintball wiping the paint off his face with a towel. Yohan is in the driver’s seat as he drives the limo.
“Well that was fun!” Lord Paintball states. “Too bad, I lost though!” He said as he laughs.
“You are always a winner, my lord.” Yohan said.
“But I didn’t win anything. A lord can’t leave empty handed.” Lord Paintball said.
“Well, if it makes you feel better. I did find a pair of tickets to Coldplay while we were there, my lord.” Yohan said.
Lord Paintball smiles. “Let’s talk about that raise of yours!” He said as they drive off.