How do you know when perfectionism is holding you back? Do you see it? Do you notice the signals that it’s crept up on you (again) and how do you get unstuck? It’s not always obvious or easy to recognise it in yourself. It took me a LONG time before I was able to recognise the signals and traits of perfectionism, and how it was affecting me day to day.

What I've come to learn about perfectionism

For a long time, I couldn’t even see perfectionism in myself, even when other people highlighted it. It felt like they were describing someone else. When colleagues or friends would say, “You’re being too hard on yourself” or “It doesn’t have to be perfect,” I’d brush it off. It didn’t feel real. Like what they were saying didn’t apply to me, or we were talking about very different people.

Looking back, I think it’s because I didn’t recognise perfectionism for what it was. I wasn’t consciously striving for perfection. I thought I was just trying to meet reasonable expectations. To me, it wasn’t about being perfect; it was about doing what I thought needed to be done at a level I’d convinced myself was acceptable, that would make me feel satisfied with my work and feel good enough.

The more I think about it, the more I realise how subtle perfectionism can be. It doesn’t always show up as this obvious drive to be flawless. Sometimes, it looks like procrastination, comparison, overthinking, self-doubt, or low self worth,. I wasn’t sitting there saying, “This has to be perfect.” I was saying, “This isn’t good enough yet,” and I’d keep tweaking or avoid finishing altogether.

It wasn’t until recently I started noticing how much it was holding me back.

Unpacking perfectionism

Here are some signs and signals I've learned that you could be struggling with perfectionism, how it's holding you back, and some ideas about how to break through.

1. Endlessly refining

Do you find yourself endlessly tweaking work or projects without ever feeling "finished"? Does this stop you from making real progress?

I’ve caught myself doing this so many times. I’ll go round in circles on a design, not because it isn’t good enough, but because I’ve convinced myself it could be better, or it’s not really as good as I could imagine it being. One more pass. A little more refinement. It’s a trap. I’ve spent hours refining work that was already working well enough, all for diminishing gains on design value, but increased anxiety.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Set a deadline, time box your refining, and move on.

• Good enough is often more than enough, especially if you are getting frequent feedback on your work.

• Remember progress beats polish.

2. Avoiding feedback

Are you holding back from sharing your work because it doesn’t feel “good enough” yet, or that it’s not ready to share? Are you worried that if you get bad feedback, it means you’re bad at what you do? I know that feeling all too well.

For a long time, I would wait until my work felt “ready” and made complete sense before showing it to anyone. I hated the idea of sharing something rough, half-formed and having other designers to stakeholders jump in with suggestions or critiques when, in my mind, I wasn’t even close to being ready yet.

It felt like they wouldn’t understand the full context, and instead of helping, they’d just poke holes in something I already knew wasn’t good. When I did eventually share, the feedback would hit much harder. It felt personal, like it wasn’t just my work being critiqued. I was being critiqued.

What I’m still learning is that avoiding feedback only makes it worse. The longer you hold onto your work without sharing, the heavier the pressure grows, and anxiety of sharing work compounds.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Share something extremely small and unfinished. A messy sketch, a few rough bullet points, a half-formed idea—it doesn’t have to be polished to be worth sharing.

• Start small and share with a trusted peer. You don’t have to blast it out to a big group. One honest conversation is enough to start building confidence.

• Label your work clearly and set expectations. Write “Work in Progress” or “Early thinking” at the top, and tell people what kind of feedback you want (“gut reaction” or “big picture thoughts only”.

• Ask yourself: What’s the real risk of sharing this? Most of the fear lives in your head. A rough draft doesn’t define you, it’s a normal part of the process.

3. Fear of making mistakes

Do you avoid trying new things because you're afraid of making mistakes or going in the wrong direction?

I’ve experienced this. The fear of making the “wrong” choice can be so strong that I’ve made no choice at all, and procrastinated on making progress, or decide internally that its not the time to make a choice because it doesn’t feel “right” yet. Like starting a side project, pitching an idea, deciding which direction to progress my career.

Over time, that fear grows. The longer I wait, the bigger the risk feels, and the harder it becomes to act. The cost of getting it "wrong" gets bigger in my head. I freeze, overthink, or convince myself that now just isn’t the right time to act.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Action creates clarity, not the other way around. What’s a small step I can make that feels safe enough to try? You don’t need to have everything figured out. Even though you may have that feeling. You just need to shift from stuck to moving.

• Give yourself permission to pick a direction that's “good enough for now.” You can always adjust course later. Most decisions aren’t final.

• Remind yourself that the biggest mistake isn’t making the wrong move—it’s doing nothing. Indecision kills ideas, opportunities, and momentum faster than failure ever will.

4. Overthinking details

Do small details consume all your time and energy, even when they won’t affect the bigger picture? Refining and adjusting until everything is just right. Details matter, yes. But not at the expense of making actual progress.

I have a colleague and mentor who often when I'm collaborating with them on something, will gently say in the background from time to time…. “It just needs to be good enough Blair” … it’s a kind prod to stop overthinking and keep moving forward.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Start broad. Nail the big picture before focusing on the details that matter.

• Share your work, get feedback - don’t get caught up in your own head.

• Use accountability, timeboxing or deadlines to help you let go, and ensure you deliver.

5. Procrastination

I put things off, not because I’m lazy, but because I want to do them well, or I may have too many things to do. I sometimes don’t feel ready ready to start.

Because I want to do good work, value quality and working through the problem “the right way”, my inner need to want to have everything ordered and making sense in my head, frequently prevents me from starting, at all!

I’ll sit with an idea, or a new project I need to start, waiting for the right energy or clarity to begin. I tell myself I just need more time, or a better idea, or a break, or a longer duration of focus time, but really, I'm procrastinating. The longer I wait, the harder it gets to start.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Take one tiny action. Do something, anything that creates momentum and breaks inertia. I like to do small tiny things like “Create a project folder” , or put a design shareout meeting in the calendar with stakeholders in my calendar for a week or two from now to force myself to move forward.

• Write a rough draft, sketch something, or even ask yourself, what would I tell a friend or peer of they were struggling to get started.

• Ask someone for help to get started, this is not a sign of weakness.

• Don’t wait to feel motivation, it may never come.

6. Comparison

Are you constantly measuring your work against others and feeling like you don't measure up? You might not even realise you're consciously doing it, but comparison can be very unhealthy.

Perfectionism thrives on comparison. I scroll through LinkedIn or design showcases and suddenly feel like I’m not doing enough, or not good enough, or my quality of work is no way near what I'm seeing from others.

Everyone else looks like they’re thriving, killing it, effortlessly building inspiring stuff, or adopting the latest stuff at breakneck speed and I feel stuck, slow, unsure, feeling like my best efforts don’t even match up. It pulls me out of my own journey and makes me question if I’m even on the right track in my career choices.

Their work looks more polished. Their careers seem more together. How do they always seem to do everything quicker, they always seem to do the right design activities, have the right way of talking about something, or have countless hours to spend on side projects, adopting every new tool, writing blogs, building their YouTube channels… the list is endless, and here I am barely able to get to the end of the day without feeling exhausted, with my family to care for and be present with too.

There have been times where just seeing someone else’s work derails my energy and self belief, which was probably already fragile. I’ll start doubting myself even if I was feeling confident 10 minutes earlier.

But here’s the truth, we’re not seeing the full picture. We're comparing our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlights and someone else’s journey.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Compare only to your past self. Ask: “Am I growing?”

• 1% gains, trust in the power of compounding, making small progress over time compounds.

• Unfollow or mute channels that trigger you, even if you like the content.

• Shift from comparison to curiosity, what can you learn from others instead of using them as a ruler?

• Don’t always start your work, by looking for inspiration or design reference, this can kill your spirits before you even start. Start with what you know and what you have in front of you.

7. Overwhelmed by expectations

Do you set unrealistically high standards for yourself and feel overwhelmed by them? You put pressure on yourself to get everything right, meet invisible standards, or do it all, and then stall and become overwhelmed under the weight of it all.

Sometimes I realise I’m carrying pressure I’ve put on myself. Trying to meet some unspoken, unrealistic standard of what I think “good” should be. That pressure builds and I become overwhelmed, because the work feels too big, too hard, or like I can’t possibly meet the expectations I’ve created in my own head.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Break the work into small, manageable chunks—then take on one at a time.

• Talk to someone and clarify what’s actually expected (and what’s not).

• Let “good enough for now” be your bar. You can always revisit and improve later.

• Acknowledge and celebrate progress, not completion.

8. Constant self criticism

Are you overly critical of your own work, always finding flaws no matter how much effort you put in? Never happy with what you’ve delivered or produced? I’m like that. Perfectionism often turns your inner voice into your harshest critic. Even when you've done something well, you focus on what’s missing or what could be better.

You downplay your wins, compare yourself to others, and hold yourself to standards you’d never apply to anyone else. Over time, this self-criticism wears down your self worth and confidence. You start to believe that nothing you do is ever truly good enough.

For me I can find it hard to receive a compliment or a message of encouragement from someone, because I don’t believe it for myself.

💡 To move forward, try this:

• Pause and name something you did well, even if it’s small.

• Ask yourself: “What would I say to a team mate, if they felt this way?”

• Practice giving yourself credit. It’s not bragging - it’s building trust in your own growth.

• Practice self-compassion.

• Self criticism can stem from comparison. Are you being overly critical of your work, because you're comparing it to someone else's? Look at your work objectively and against the goals you were trying to achieve, not against other peoples work.

Quick checklist

☑️ Endless Refining? Set a deadline, time box and move on.

☑️ Avoiding Feedback? Share early drafts and seek input.

☑️ Fear of mistakes? Reframe failure as growth.

☑️ Overthinking details? Focus on the big picture first. Zoom out,

☑️ Procrastinating? Start with a rough draft, build momentum.

☑️ Comparing to Others? Compare only to your past self.

☑️ Overwhelmed by Expectations? Break it into smaller tasks.

☑️ Self-Criticism? Practice self-compassion, celebrate progress.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading,Hopefully there's 1 or 2 things you can take from this list, that you can use in your everyday life. I’d love to hear what resonated, or your own experiences too!