SWEEP THE LEG: it's what this moment needed

Chocolate Box 2017 letter

2017-01-07T19:12:49Z

Dear Creator,

Hi and thank you for reading this letter! I can be found on AO3 as ijemanja, here.

I have a few firm Do Not Wants: graphic rape, underage sex, harm to animals, character bashing, body fluid kinks.

I'd also prefer no crossovers, thanks!

Other than those things I will happily read any type of story you want to write for me about any of these pairings. Light-hearted or angsty, plotty or quiet slice-of-life, grimdark or fluff, AU or strictly canon etc etc. I'm always down for tropes or episode additions or post-canon fic. Any rating you'd like to write is fine with me - sex scenes are definitely welcome but it's cool if you don't want to include them.

I love all my requested fandoms and relationships, so whatever you come up with I'm looking forward to it!

Alien: Resurrection - Ripley/Call
Call/Ripley is one of my forever ships, and I would love a fic that explores how they might actually function as a couple - a relationship between a Xenomorph-spliced superhuman clone and a robot with a lot of feelings, that's gonna be interesting! So who makes the first move? What's the sex like? Do they ever say 'I love you'? What does romance look like for them? Is there much cuddling? I would enjoy an answer to any (or all) of these questions! I would also love an intense us-against-the-world, hurt/comforty trope fest if that is your kind of thing. Also, porn that kinks on the size difference, as well as the inhumanity of both women, would be excellent. I'd love an AU here, too - if there's one you'd like to write, then please feel free!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Yu Shu-Lien/Li Mu-Bai
Allll the longing and UST and guilty feelings, please. Maybe the moment one or both realised their feelings were requited? Or a moment they came very close to giving in to their feelings. Or a version of events where they did give in to their feelings. Or that time on the road when they had to share a bedroll/huddle for warmth/there was only one room at the inn and all those repressed feelings went through the roof. Or an AU version of the film where no one dies and they get to be together and everything is fine and all the feelings are nice ones. In conclusion: Feelings! (P.S. an arranged marriage AU would be more than welcome here.)

Jesus Christ Superstar - Judas/Mary Magdalene
I have a desperate love for pairings where two people don't really like each other, but they are both in love with a third person who neither of them can be with. So they end up using each other in an angsty way to work out their angsty feelings and get closer by proxy to the person they both really love. If that makes sense at all, that is what I would like for this ship! Basically Judas and Mary having all the hot messed up sex while they both pine for pure cinnamon roll JC who is, you know, literally too good for this world. Judas and Mary both knowing how the other feels and all the jealousy and resentment and guilt stemming from their earthly human weakness and how that forges a weirdly intense bond between them. Judas and Mary maybe growing Feelings for each other, but then everything descends into chaos and crucifixion and it all falls apart. Or hell, maybe the AU where Mary saves Judas from hanging because fuck that, you don't get off that easy dude, but then ends up forgiving him because it's what JC would have done? And they live messily ever after?

For the record, I imprinted pretty hard on the 2000 TV version of JCSS, with Jerome Pradon as Judas and Renee Castle as Mary, so that is where I am coming from with these requests. But I have seen and enjoyed multiple versions and will happily read whatever take you might have on the characters!

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen - Charlotte/Lizzie, Jane & Lizzie & Mary & Kitty & Lydia
For this request, I'm only interested in the canon setting, please. So no modern AUs thanks! (Canon-divergence AUs are fine, however.)

Charlotte/Lizzie:
I so adore their friendship in canon, and I will adore anything that builds on that friendship with basically all the tender romantic feelings you can stuff into one story: Charlotte quietly loving Lizzie all along, even while being sensible about the fact that as women they pretty much have to marry if they can, although their affections may lie elsewhere. Lizzie coming to understand how Charlotte feels, and realising she feels the same. Both women yearning for each other after being separated by their canon marriages. I'd love pining fic. Or fic where they find comfort in the times they are able to see each other. Or maybe following Mr Collins' untimely death Charlotte comes to stay permanently at Pemberly as a companion or governess and it's basically the Regency Ladies in Love future fic of my dreams? For the record, fic that sticks close to canon events and keeps the canon marriages is fine, fic where Lizzie/Charlotte don't end up together is also fine, just as long as all the feelings of love and attraction are there in some form.

Jane & Lizzie & Mary & Kitty & Lydia:
I'd love to read something set before P&P, about the girls growing up together in that dysfunctional, but loving, but dysfunctional family, with parents who dislike each other and have clear favourites among their children. Did they get along better as kids, or was there always a disconnect between the older and younger girls (with poor Mary always the odd one out)? Alternatively, a story where they all meet for some reason - a funeral? a wedding? - at some point in the future, maybe even as old ladies, would be wonderful.

Rosemary and Thyme - Rosemary/Laura
Gardening Detectives in Love please! I'd adore a good old fashioned getting together fic. Or how about a garden centre/coffee shop AU, or a soulmate AU? Or any kind of AU, really! Of course, I do love the cosy murders and pretty garden settings too, so Rosemary and Laura driving around the countryside, solving mysteries and planting things and sharing beds, are definitely things I would like to see if canon is more your style. Some other tropes I'd particularly enjoy that you might like to work with: fake relationship, huddling for warmth, small gestures that mean everything, unconventional ways to say 'I love you', that thing where someone talks in their sleep and secret feelings are revealed, drunk confessions.

femslashex letter

2016-09-06T08:50:43Z

Dear Creator,

Hi and thank you for reading this letter! I can be found on AO3 as ijemanja, here.

I have a few firm Do Not Wants: graphic rape, underage sex, harm to animals, character bashing, body fluid kinks, character death.

I'd also prefer no PWP or crossovers, thanks!

Other than those things I will happily read any type of story you want to write for me about any of these pairings. Light-hearted or angsty, plotty or quiet slice-of-life, grimdark or fluff, AU or strictly canon etc etc. I'm always down for tropes or episode additions or post-canon fic. Any rating you'd like to write is fine with me - sex scenes are definitely welcome but it's cool if you don't want to include them.

I love all my requested fandoms and ships, so whatever you come up with I'm looking forward to it! That said, if you want more specific ideas, here are some prompts:

The Craft - Bonnie/Rochelle
At the end of the movie these are the two characters I always wonder about the most, so I would love post-canon fic. I'd love to see how Bonnie and Rochelle deal with each other now that they're out from under the influence of Nancy/the coven. I'm dying for some twisty guilt and conflict and growing pains here - do they learn from what happened, or fall back into bad habits; do they pull together, fall in love, or does all that lingering bad karma drive a wedge between them? Can a relationship between them be a positive thing after everything or will it always be tainted and dysfunctional? A fic where Bonnie and Rochelle find their way back to practising magic in a positive way would also be great. Whether you include Nancy or Sarah (or Nancy/Sarah) is up to you. I just really ship Bonnie/Rochelle, and will enjoy anything focused on them, really!

House, M.D - Cuddy/Stacy, Amber/Thirteen, Cuddy/Thirteen
This is a nostalgia fandom of mine and I've been craving some femslash for it lately. Any of these pairings would be awesome! Just to clarify for this fandom, since 'character death' is in my DNWs: Mentioning a canon death is fine where necessary but I'd rather not receive anything that focuses on Amber's death, or fic where Thirteen succumbs to her illness. Fic set pre-bus crash or that ignores the crash or gives it a different outcome is all fine. Similarly, fic dealing with Thirteen's condition is fine, I'd just rather not see her die at the end, please.

Cuddy/Stacy: I always liked what we saw of their friendship, especially how it was informed by their complicated history with House. I'd love something where they are carrying on an angsty, guilt-ridden affair while House is recovering from the infarction. Maybe a slow-burn-type romance set after Cuddy has left House/PPTH and Stacy has left Mark and they renew their friendship which leads to something more now that they are both older and wiser and in a different place in their lives. Or for something completely different, how about an AU where Cuddy was the one Stacy shot during the lawyers vs. doctors paintball tournament.

Amber/Thirteen: I'd love to see a story where they keep in contact or maybe keep running into each other after Amber is fired, and their love/hate (mostly hate) rivalry turns into feelings. I'd love to see Thirteen drawn to Amber and falling for her against her will and/or Amber reluctantly developing a big fat crush on Thirteen because Thirteen is just that annoyingly hot. Amber, in her own unique CTB way, helping Thirteen after discovering the Huntington's diagnosis would be great. Or an AU where Amber survives the bus crash but has a long road to recovery that Thirteen ends up becoming involved with. Maybe Thirteen is the one secretly dating Amber instead of Wilson - a fic where she tries to hide it from House would be fun.

Cuddy/Thirteen: I'd be very interested in Thirteen seducing Cuddy - maybe to get her panties during House's contest in season 4, or when Thirteen was spiralling out of control and sleeping with any woman in sight in early season 5, or just any time for any reason really. I'd like to see Cuddy perhaps inexperienced with women but able to hold her own nonetheless, maybe even turning the tables and topping Thirteen. Something tropey would also be fun for this pairing - having to share a room at a conference, pretend dating that becomes real, a vampire AU, some good old fashioned hurt/comfort, or anything you can come up with really!

Pride and Prejudice - Charlotte/Lizzie
I adore their friendship in canon, and I will adore anything that builds on that friendship with basically all the tender romantic feelings you can stuff into one story. I love that Charlotte is so practical and sees the world and people and Lizzie so clearly, understanding passion and romance while professing not to experience those feelings herself - at least not outwardly. I would love secret romantic feelings here. Charlotte quietly loving Lizzie all along while being sensible about the fact that as women they pretty much have to marry if they can even though their affections may lie elsewhere. I would love Lizzie slowly coming to realise how Charlotte feels. I'd love to see strong bonds only becoming stronger and deeper over the years. I'd love to see both women yearning for each other after being separated by their canon marriages. Maybe following Mr Collins' untimely death Charlotte comes to stay permanently at Pemberly as a companion or governess and it's basically the Regency Ladies in Love future fic of my dreams? For the record, fic that sticks close to canon events and keeps the canon marriages is fine, fic where Lizzie/Charlotte don't end up together is also fine, just as long as all the feelings of love and attraction are there in some form.

Rosemary and Thyme - Rosemary/Laura
Gardening Detectives in Love please! I'd adore a good old fashioned getting together fic. Or how about a garden centre/coffee shop AU, or a soulmate AU? Or any kind of AU, really! Of course, I do love the cosy murders and pretty garden settings too, so Rosemary and Laura driving around the countryside, solving mysteries and planting things and sharing beds, are definitely things I would like to see if canon is more your style. Some other tropes I'd particularly enjoy that you might like to work with: fake relationship, huddling for warmth, small gestures that mean everything, unconventional ways to say 'I love you', that thing where someone talks in their sleep and secret feelings are revealed, drunk confessions.

chocolate box exchange

2016-01-06T13:50:05Z

Hello!

For this exchange I Do Not Want: crossovers, underage sex, character death, animal harm, character bashing.

Other than that, I don't have any strong squicks. Any rating is fine, feel free to include porn if you want!

General tropes and themes I would love for any of my requests:

Arranged marriage, fake dating, huddling for warmth, space AU, coffee shop AU, historical period AU, road trips, zombies, apocalypses in general, bed sharing, drunk confessions, truth pollen, hurt/comfort, baby/kid fic, soulmates and soulbonds, loyalty, found families, us against the world, bonding through forced proximity, bickering like an old married couple, UST, slow realisation of feelings, first time.

My requests:

Alien: Resurrection - Ripley/Call
Call/Ripley is one of my forever ships, and I would love a fic that explores how they might actually function as a couple - a relationship between a Xenormorph-spliced superhuman clone and a robot with a lot of feelings, that's gonna be interesting! So who makes the first move? What's the sex like? Do they ever say 'I love you'? What does romance look like for them? Is there much cuddling? I would also love an intense us-against-the-world, hurt/comforty trope fest. Also, porn that kinks on the size difference, as well as the inhumanity of both women, would be excellent. I'd love an AU here, too - if there's one you'd like to write, then please feel free!

Calamity Jane - Calamity/Katie, Calamity/Bill
I love both Calamity/Bill, a pair of ornery old crackshots in love, and the adorable femslashy potential of Calamity/Katie. Either pairing would be appreciated and adored. I'm not interested in poly or threesome shipping here, however, so I'd prefer fic that focuses on just one or the other, thanks!

Jane/Katie: Certain events in the film change so that Jane ends up with Katie instead and everything works out swell. Jane negotiating a relationship with Katie - marriage perhaps? - while still having a yen for adventure and wild derring-do. Katie proposes a Boston Marriage? Jane teaching Katie to shoot, or helping her with some aspect of frontier life? Anything where friendship blossoms into love. Would also enjoy all the room-mate shenanigans, bonus points for bed-sharing!

Jane/Bill: I'd love a story that follows Jane and Bill's relationship from early days through and beyond the events of the film. Or what if the saloon is all out of sarsaparilla! Jane switches to whiskey and gets drunk for the first time, and Bill has to deal with her drunk ass while preventing her from doing anything even more wild and spontaneous than usual. Jane negotiating a relationship with Bill - marriage perhaps? - while still having a yen for adventure and wild derring-do. Or how about a moment pre-canon where these two fast friends see each other as more than a friend for the first time - shacking up to avoid a blizzard? undressing because reasons? - and awkward sexual tension ensues.

The Craft - Rochelle/Bonnie
At the end of the movie, these are the two characters I always wonder about the most. I'd love fic about Bonnie and Rochelle having to deal with what happened and what they did, and also deal with each other now that they're out from under the influence of Nancy and Sarah. I'm dying for some twisty guilt and conflict and growing pains here - do they learn from what happened, or fall back into bad habits; do they pull together, fall in love, or does all that lingering bad karma drive a wedge between them? A fic where Bonnie and Rochelle find their way back to practising magic in a positive way would be great. As would a fic following their relationship before, during, and after Nancy. Whether you include Nancy or Sarah is up to you. I just really ship Bonnie/Rochelle, and will enjoy anything focused on them, really!

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Yu Shu Lien/Li Mu Bai
Allll the longing and UST and guilty feelings, please. Maybe the moment one or both realised their feelings were requited? Or a moment they came very close to giving in to their feelings. Or a version of events where they did give in to their feelings. Or that time on the road when they had to share a bedroll/huddle for warmth/there was only one room at the inn and all those repressed feelings went through the roof. Or an AU version of the film where no one dies and they get to be together and everything is fine and all the feelings are nice ones. In conclusion: Feelings! (P.S. an arranged marriage AU would be more than welcome here.)

Rosemary and Thyme - Laura/Rosemary
Gardening Detectives In Love please! I'd adore a good old fashioned getting together fic. Or how about a garden centre/coffee shop AU. Actually, any kind of AU would be fun! Historical? Harry Potter? Soulmates? Of course, I do love the cosy murders and pretty garden settings too, so Rosemary and Laura driving around the countryside, solving mysteries and planting things and sharing beds, are definitely things I would like to see if canon is more your style. Some other tropes I'd particularly enjoy that you might like to work with: fake relationship, huddling for warmth, small gestures that mean everything, unconventional ways to say 'I love you', that thing where someone talks in their sleep and secret feelings are revealed.

Yuletide!

2015-10-26T16:41:30Z

Dear Yuletide Writer,

First things first: Optional Details Are Optional! I love my fandoms and chosen characters so much, I'll be happy to see any kind of fic featuring them. If you have an idea for a story you want to write that doesn't really match any of the ideas or prompts I've thrown out there, you should definitely just go with your thing!

General preferences: I'm fine with any rating. For the ships I've requested, if you want to write sex scenes, cool, but if you don't want to write them that's also cool. I enjoy het and femslash and gen. I'm not interested in m/m, and I'd rather not see any non-canon background pairings. I also don't want any crossovers, thanks. I'm fine with character-focused fic, but don't tend to enjoy stories that are all introspection. I prefer there to be some character interaction and dialogue, and at least some semblance of a plot.

Please Definitely No: non-con/rape, underage sex, harm to animals, character bashing, body fluid kinks.

This year I have requested three movies - two horror, one golden oldie. Even the two horror films are quite different in tone and setting, so I've gone into more detail with my individual preferences/likes/dislikes for each of the canons below.

Calamity Jane (1953) - Jane Cannary
I love Golden Age musicals, I love Doris Day, and I love, love, love this movie. It's not exactly the most historically accurate depiction of Jane Cannary's life, but that's fine with me! I'd love a fic that stays somewhat in keeping with the tone of the film: light-hearted and sincere, with a focus on larger-than-life, brash, brave, boastful Calamity. She's bratty and prideful but in such an endearing way. And I love that for all her boasting she is courageous and capable and always ready for adventure, and her friends admire and respect her for it. I also enjoy that while we do see her grow up and get over herself a bit, and even become slightly more comfortable being feminine in the course of the film, we are reassured in the end that she is still very much herself. Just in cleaner clothes.

I would be happy with gen fic set any time pre/during/post canon, or I'd also enjoy something shippy. Either Jane/Bill or Jane/Katie would be appreciated and adored. I'm not interested in poly or threesome shipping for this fandom, though, so I'd prefer if you just stuck with one or the other. Or, again, gen would be super! Here are some prompts that hopefully cover all bases:

Certain events in the film change so that Jane ends up with Katie instead and everything works out swell. Jane negotiating a relationship - marriage perhaps? - while still having a yen for adventure and wild derring-do. Jane/Katie friendship fic - Jane teaching Katie to shoot, or helping her with some aspect of frontier life? Or the same prompt, with friendship leading to love? I mean, they move in together! Room-mate shenanigans! Bed-sharing! Look how adorably odd-coupley they are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_64yc-8HdMM

Or I'd love a story that follows Jane and Bill's relationship from early days through and beyond the events of the film. Or what if the saloon is all out of sarsaparilla! Jane switches to whiskey and gets drunk for the first time, and Bill has to deal with her drunk ass while preventing her from doing anything even more wild and spontaneous than usual. Or perhaps a look at how Jane's crush on Danny develops, and how she deals with that as the kind of girl men don't tend to marry.

I don't see this canon being the best for a serious, in-depth exploration of gender issues, but if you want to delve into Jane's experience as a non-conforming woman in a man's world, that's fine. But have a light touch, please! It's a fun movie with a lot of heart and people bursting into song and good ol' Calam is the cheerful, plucky, tomboy heroine I have adored since I was a child. I fully admit I don't want grim reality or hard-hitting historical truths here, I want vibrant cinematography and stirring emotional climaxes and curtains closing on shiny-happy musical world where everyone lives happily ever after, please!

On a similar note: as often happens with older canons set in the Wild West, the treatment and portrayal of Native Americans in this film is terribly, awkwardly racist. Whether to address that somehow, or just AVOID AVOID, I leave up to your own judgement and comfort levels.

The Cabin in the Woods - Dana, Jules, The Director
I'd really enjoy gen fic about any of these three characters. They do not all have to feature or appear in the fic; just focusing on one or two of them is fine. For shipping preferences, I'd be happy to receive femslash pairing up the Director, Dana, and Jules in any combination. I'm not interested in het-focused fic for this fandom, although mentioning the canon ships, Jules/Curt for instance, is fine.

I really loved the satirical horror-comedy tone of the movie, so a fic that sticks close to that would be great. At the same time, feel free to go all out on the grimdark horror tropes. I'm fine with dark, violent, scary stuff, and happy endings are not required here. It's a canon where Rocks Fall and Literally Everyone Dies, so in this case a fic filled with character death, or far worse things, is cool with me!

I have requested this fandom for various other exchanges, and the fics I've received for it have been amazing, really only whetting my appetite for more. Many of these prompts are repeated from past letters, I'm still excited by these ideas and would enjoy seeing your interpretation of any of them. One of the reasons I love this canon is that there's so much potential for exploration - the concept, the monsters, the elder gods, as well as the characters.

Re-tellings and canon divergence AUs are most welcome. For instance, alternate versions of the movie where Dana lives, or where the kids have different roles, or where a different monster is chosen. I'd enjoy something unpacking/subverting the five sacrificial tropes Dana and her friends occupied. What if Dana had been the whore, or the fool, or the scholar or jock? What if Jules was secretly gay for Dana and that derailed the entire production? Or what if Jules was secretly a slayer*, or a mutant or superhero, or a monster the Facility accidentally lost track of? And when the selected method of sacrifice showed up to kill them all, she fought back. (*I stated above that I didn't want crossovers, but this is my one exception! Making Jules a vampire slayer or a mutant with hidden badass powers could be a lot of fun.)

For fics set post-canon (assuming of course that the ending happened differently, Marty died, the Elders were appeased, and Dana survived as the final girl): I'd love to see Dana finding a way to survive in the ruins of the facility, and being recruited to join the rebuilding process. I love the banal, corporate setting shown in the movie, with the inter-departmental rivalries and the office pools. A day in the life of Dana at her new job, wrangling monsters, fetching coffee, taking memos from the Elder Gods, all in a day's work. Or what if Jules 'the whore dies first' Louden haunts the fuck out of final girl Dana post-canon - perhaps being collected as a vengeful spirit and used in the following year's ritual?

I'd also enjoy any story you want to tell me about the Director. How she got promoted to the top job, her interactions with the Elder Gods, what the annual International Facility Post-Ritual Conference is like. If you go with the theory that she was once a final girl herself, what was the sacrifice like for her - what was her monster? How did she survive?

The Conjuring - Andrea Perron, Nancy Perron, Christine Perron, Judy Warren
This is one of my favourite scary movies of recent years. I love a good house haunting, and the setting, the ghost story, the characters, all knocked it out of the park for me. I love particularly the connection formed between the two families, the parents and their daughters, caught up in this supernatural terror together. And I adored how the narrative comes down to one mother risking herself to save another from a third corrupted maternal figure, and that women are so much the focus of the film (and in a way that is devoid of sexual themes, which can be rare in this genre).

My requested characters are the daughters of the two families, and I'd love fic about any or all of them. I chose Judy Warren and the three older Perron girls to nominate, but you can certainly include the youngest two, Cindy and April, if you like. You do not have to write a story that involves all four requested characters. A story focusing just on Judy, or just on one or more of the Perron girls, is fine.

I find the idea of Judy growing up in a house with a roomful of evil demonic shit lying around fascinating and scary as hell. Tell me what that is like! Is she going to grow up to be a medium like her mother, or never want anything to do with the supernatural, or does living her childhood in a house with a possessed doll that is after her soul leave her far too traumatised to even deal? (If she even survives her childhood at all! I mean that is not the most child-proofed of rooms. Just saying.) Judy interacting with other kids and having a very different notion of what's normal would be interesting to see. Judy interacting with the Perron kids at some point post-canon would be interesting too, perhaps being able to relate or share a different perspective on their experience? Or what about Judy coming upon some supernatural/horror trope unrelated to her parent's work and dealing with it on her own? A balls-out grimdark fic where something in the Room of Scary Shit gets her and things don't turn out okay would be fun, too.

Note: I'm aware of the prequel movie 'Annabelle', but haven't seen it. If you want to write a story involving the doll, that's fine, but if you include canon details from the movie Annabelle, please nothing too spoilery! I do hope to catch it one day.

As for the Perron girls, I was really interested in the different ways they were involved in and experienced the haunting. Some were more perceptible, some were targeted by Bathsheba and others left alone. Andrea, as the oldest, seemed to incur her wrath because she behaved in maternal/nurturing ways to her younger sisters. I'd like to see a fic that explores her role as a caretaker and protector within the family. Christine seemed to be very aware of the lurking horror, perhaps even more than her mother who was the main target. Maybe she has potential as a medium herself - maybe even seeks out the Warrens as a potential ghost hunter in the future? I'd love a fic where she, or any of the girls, is driven by their experience to further explore the supernatural. Whether that turns out to be a positive thing or a Very Bad Thing is up to you. Nancy, on the other hand, seemed to be completely immune to supernatural influence. Is she going to be less affected by what happened in the long run? Does she secretly doubt anything really happened at all?

I'd enjoy a fic about the Perrons in the aftermath of the movie, as they attempt to move on and deal with what happened. The girls talking about it or not talking about it, arguing about it, wanting to ignore or deny it. Going back to normal, mundane life when just recently a centuries old witch-demon tried to possess your mother and murder her and your sister... And on that note, how has their relationship with their mother been affected?

It's probably already obvious, but to be clear: I'd prefer gen fic for this fandom. I'm not interested in reading ship fic for any of these characters (or between any of them i.e. no incest here, thanks). Also, please no AUs. I love horror, and horror tropes, and am fine with supernatural stuff, gore, violence, etc. So feel free to write something scary. Happy endings are welcome but not required. For a canon like this, I feel like 'and then Character gets possessed and murders everyone D:' is a valid turn of events.

I hope writing for me won't be stressful, and that you are able to have fun and enjoy it. Thank you for writing for me!

Oh, P.S. you can find me as 'ijemanja' on AO3, here.

trick or treat letter

2015-09-16T11:25:51Z

Dear Trick or Treat Creator,

Thank you for writing/creating for me! You can find me at AO3 here.

General Notes:

So, I would definitely enjoy a trick this Halloween. The fandoms I'm requesting all lend themselves well to horror tropes and themes. Violence and gore and dark, scary, creepy things in general are all things I like. If you like them, too, then please feel free to kill, maim, torture, abuse, or emotionally destroy the characters (and me) however you want.

My only hard DNWs for this exchange are underage sex, animal cruelty, and... actually that's it. Leave the cat alone, and keep any sex stuff for characters aged 18 or over, but other than that, do your worst!

Here are some terrible things I'd especially enjoy across all my requested fandoms:

- something from the monster's POV
- rocks fall, everyone dies
- at a crucial moment in canon, something goes horribly wrong, and it doesn't turn out okay in the end
- creepy dubcon or noncon porn
- twisty mindfucks
- psychological horror
- themes of desperation, isolation, and helplessness
- medical experimentation, brainwashing, and institutional abuse
- zombies
- the bad guys win
- the good guys become the bad guys
- um... tentacles
- the ultra grimdark scenario of your dreams
- vampires/werewolves/demons/supernatural AUs in general but the scary dangerous kind please, not the sparkly YA romance kind
- dystopias
- someone raises the dead
- crossovers with other horror franchises (e.g. Hellraiser, Nightmare on Elm Street, The Ring etc.)
- crossovers between my requested fandoms (e.g. a xenomorph ends up at the Facility (it's the Director's favourite monster, obvs), Lizzie and Laura get recruited by the Victorian England branch of the Facility, Aperture Science Enrichment Center experiments with xenomorphs because that would obviously turn out well... etc.)

Of course, if treats are more up your alley, here are some non-horrible things I would also very much enjoy:

- characters sharing a lighter moment during dark times
- fixit fic e.g. save Newt, save Dana and/or Jules, save Jeanie, save the world
- silly, over the top horror-comedy
- the monster is really just misunderstood!
- rocks fall but nobody dies yay :D
- vampires/werewolves/demons/supernatural AUs in general but like, sparkly
- someone raises the dead oops
- BRING IT: the fluffiest damn coffee shop AU imaginable

Shipping info:
I love female characters. I like gen, femslash, and het, pretty much equally. I'm not interested in m/m. There are prompts below for some specific pairings I'd be interested in receiving, but if you don't like them, then sticking with platonic relationships and gen prompts is totally fine. Also, including background ships (e.g. canon ships like Ripley/Hicks or Jules/Curt) where relevant is fine.

My requests:
(I've tried to provide prompts for each of the requested characters, but don't feel obligated to stick with any of them. They're just ideas, optional details are optional, etc.)

Alien series - Any (Annalee Call, Ellen Ripley, Newt, Xenomorph)
Xenomorphs win; take over the galaxy. Post-Resurrection, Ripley finds it increasingly difficult to restrain her inhuman nature; Call is the only one safe around her (or is she?). Newt's nightmarish experience surviving alone before help arrives. Um... Ripley/Alien Queen interspecies porn? Ripley/Call fight zombies on post-apocalyptic Earth. Some kind of Frankenstein's Monster pastiche involving Ripley's resurrection (hell, that's basically canon, anyway!). An exploration of Ripley and maternity - the horror of alien reproduction contrasted with her own experiences of motherhood and child loss.

Cabin in the Woods - (Patience Buckner, Angry Molesting Tree, Dana Polk, The Director, Jules Louden)
Monster free-for-all after the elder gods rise. Patience Buckner, then and now. Worldbuilding for how the facility works - weird/creepy stuff involving the monsters, or the mind control aspects of the rituals, or the other facilities, or the elder gods, or anything! Um... Angry Molesting Tree noncon? Alternate versions of the movie where Dana lives, or where the kids have different roles, or where a different monster is chosen. Director/Dana traumatised indoctrination femslash. Post-canon, Jules 'the whore dies first' Louden haunts the fuck out of final girl Dana.

Goblin Market - Christina Rossetti - (Lizzie, Laura, Goblins)
Um... creepy goblin porn? What is up with those goblins, anyway? How do the goblins choose their next victim, and what do they get from their creepy feeder rituals? Post-canon, Lizze and Laura deal with another supernatural threat. A modern urban fantasy retelling of the poem. Dark/angsty Lizzie/Laura incest - the goblins as a sexual awakening metaphor. Instead of Lizzie saving Laura, Laura corrupts Lizzie.

Portal - (Chell, GLaDOS)
GLaDOS and her opinions on world domination, cake, life in general. Caroline's experience waking up as an AI and her subsequent descent into homicidal megalomania. Psych! GLaDOS was never really going to let Chell go. Stockholm Syndrome-y Chell/GLaDOS. GLaDOS being the worst creepy stalker girlfriend ever. Chell is released to the surface but things are worse up there than they ever were at Aperture. Um... evil AI dubcon porn? Role reversal where Chell 'does science' with GLaDOS as the test subject. Something creepy involving potato!GLaDOS.

Thanks for reading!

femslashex letter

2015-09-01T17:14:50Z

Dear Femslashex Creator,

You can find me at AO3 here. I hope you find the prompts I've provided useful in some way, however if none of them work for you, feel free to write an idea of your own. I love all of these fandoms and ships and I can't wait to see what you come up with!

My requests:

Alien series - Ripley/Call

Ripley and Call working together, infiltrating military labs and taking out alien infestations and basically being badass monster-fighting space heroes together? Or maybe the one where they are on the run together from the company/military/whoever wants Ripley's alien DNA post-Resurrection. Or how about a demon-hunter AU? Or really anything that includes Ripley and Call bonding over their lack of humanity, even as they find it in each other. Bonus for all the you-and-me-against-the-world tropey goodness you can squeeze in here.

Portal (video game) - Chell/GLaDOS

So how does Chell feel about GLaDOS, after everything? I admit I ship them in a non-fluffy, dysfunctional, largely one-sided way, so GLaDOS pining for/creeping on/generally being way over-invested in Chell would be something I'd enjoy. Alternatively, the idea that Chell might just miss Aperture, the testing, and even GLaDOS - because the AI isn't the only one addicted to the rush - is one I wouldn't mind seeing explored. Or I'd love to see the about-face turn where GLaDOS reneges on letting Chell go, and drags her back for more testing; would Chell be inured to it by now, would she come to some kind of agreement with GLaDOS, would she be relieved, or is resistance/destruction so much a part of Chell that she'll always bring GLaDOS down no matter how many times she has to do it? I wouldn't mind something a bit dark here, but positive endings are still welcome. Overall, I'd prefer something closer to the black-humour tone of the games than light-hearted fluff.

Rosemary and Thyme - Rosemary Boxer/Laura Thyme

Something set at some grand country estate with vast gardens and a giant mansion where they still somehow get stuck sleeping in the same bed would be excellent. And maybe at some point they get caught in a blizzard and then have to huddle for warmth? Maybe one gets hurt and the other provides comfort? Maybe they have to go undercover as a couple for some reason only to find that pretending to be madly in love feels strangely natural and they don't want to stop?? (In other words, I would love something tropey!)

I also might enjoy an AU. Perhaps a magic/Harry Potter AU where a retired auror and an herbology professor use their knowledge of magical plants to solve wizard crime? Or a garden centre/coffee shop AU? Or something in an historical setting - Edwardian lady/her trusty head gardener? Or something else, surprise me!

US Comedian RPF - Tina Fey/Amy Poehler

Best friends who fall in love, or best friends who have always been in love but it's never been the right time (until it is), or maybe the one where the best kept secret in Hollywood is that they are secretly married and all the times they've joked about it they were actually telling the truth. Or anything, set at any time during their careers. Pining or silliness or behind the scenes on one of their joint projects, or the AU where they are news anchors in the seventies or rival cheerleading coaches or quidditch announcers or something because I'm always up for an AU.

General notes:

I'm easy on genre/style. I like tropes, as well as AUs, fusions, and genre-shifts. I have a preference for dialogue and things happening (for any given value of 'things happening') rather than a lot of introspection or straight PWP. Violence/gore/horror are okay with me. Any rating is fine; whether or not you include porn is up to you!

Please no body fluid kinks, graphic rape, underage, animal harm, or non-canon character death. I'd also prefer no crossovers.

Thanks for reading!

ijemanja @ 2015-05-19T17:00:00

2015-05-19T07:00:40Z

My letter for the every woman exchange!

Dear Writer,

I can be found on AO3 as ijemanja, here.

I have a few firm Do Not Wants: graphic rape, harm to animals, character bashing, body fluid kinks. I'd also prefer no crossovers, thanks!

Other than those things, I will happily read anything you want to write for me about any of these characters. Funny or sad, action/adventure or quiet slice-of-life, horror or fluff, shippy or gen, AU or strictly canon etc etc. I'm always down for tropes or episode additions or backstory or post-canon fic. I'm good with any rating you want to write, and gen, femslash, and het are all things that I like.

Really, I love all my requested fandoms and characters, whatever you come up with, I'm looking forward to it! That said, if you want more specific ideas, here are some prompts and general ramblings:

Alien Series - Ellen Ripley
One of my all-time favourite franchises, and one of my all-time greatest heroes. I'd be happy with fic set at any time in her long, nightmare-fuelled existence - or before that. What was she like growing up, what signs were there of the woman she was going to become? Ripley was a mother at one time - tell me about that. Or tell me, what is it like for her when she closes her eyes at night, considering all the times she has woken up only to deal with some new horror? How does she reconcile, post-Resurrection, becoming the monster she's been fighting for centuries? An AU shooting off from one of the movies, taking her story in a different direction, could be interesting. For the record, 'Ripley is a badass and fights all the aliens' is also a perfectly acceptable choice here! Tell me anything about Ripley, basically, and what makes her who she is.

I ship Ripley/Call, if that's something you're interested in writing. Ripley/Hicks is also fine if you're writing about Aliens. But gen is more than welcome here!

Leverage - Sophie Devereaux, Sophie & Maggie, Sophie & Parker
Sophie is my favourite! Just on her own, with Maggie or Parker or both, or with any/all of the team in general - excellent. I completely adore her and the way her character grew and changed over the course of the show. Tell me something about that journey, about Sophie transitioning from failed actress to successful director, about Sophie's shoe addiction, about her language skills, her worst crime, her most successful grift, that one time that wanker Nate shot her, her childhood, Annie Kroy, the time she beat Sterling, anything!

I really love love love Sophie's friendships with the other women on the show (including Tara of course, if you want to write about her, but these were the groups nominated so I'll focus on them) - the mentoring role she sometimes takes with Parker, the way she bonds with Maggie (when the show could easily have gone with some clichéd rivalry but nope, BFFs!), so I'd enjoy seeing more of that. Maybe something post-canon - how do Sophie and Parker keep in touch, how has their relationship changed now that Parker has come into her own? How about early in the show, when/how did they start to be friends? What do Maggie and Sophie do when they hang out? More grifting lessons? Argue about art? Get drunk and make out? Get drunk and make out while arguing about art? Bonus prompt: Sophie's hen's night.

I would not be at all averse to femslash here, but I also love the canon ships and including or referring to them is totally fine.

Portal (video game) - Chell
Tell me something about Chell! Post-games, during the games, or something about her history. She's determined, fearless, ingenious,and always perseveres - how would that apply outside the arena of testing and taking down murderous AIs? How does she feel about testing? How does she feel about her experiences in Aperture?

I'm not really interested in Wheatley, but I adore GLaDOS, the evil AI of my heart, if you'd like to include her. How does Chell feel about GLaDOS, after everything? I ship GLaDOS/Chell in a non-fluffy, dysfunctional, largely one-sided way; that said, the idea that Chell would miss Aperture, the testing,and even GLaDOS, because the AI isn't the only one addicted to the rush, is one I wouldn't mind seeing explored. Or I'd enjoy the about-faced turn where GLaDOS reneges on letting Chell go and drags her back for more testing - would Chell be inured to it by now, would she come to some kind of agreement with GLaDOS, or is resistance/destruction so much a part of Chell that she'll always bring GLaDOS down no matter how many time she has to do it? I wouldn't mind something a bit dark here, but positive endings are still welcome. Overall, I'd prefer something closer to the black-humour tone of the games than light-hearted fluff.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane, Mary, Kitty, Lydia
I re-read just recently and found myself craving fic about the Bennet sisters. Any or all of them, please - including Lizzie, of course, if you want! I just kept the nominations to the other four because so much fic focuses on Lizzie already. I'd love to read something set before P&P, about the girls growing up together in that dysfunctional, but loving, but dysfunctional family, with parents who dislike each other and have clear favourites among their children. Did they get along better as kids, or was there always a disconnect between the older and younger girls (with poor Mary always the odd one out)? Alternatively, a story where they all meet for some reason - a funeral? a wedding? - at some point in the future, maybe even as old ladies, would be wonderful.

I'd also enjoy something focused on pairings we don't usually see much of - Jane and Lydia, for instance, perhaps during one of the times Lydia and Wickham are imposing on the Bingleys post-canon. Or how about Mary and Kitty, what's their relationship like after their sisters are all married and moved away? I would also be happy to receive something focused on just one of the girls, as I find all of them interesting in their own way - Lydia twenty years down the track, does she ever develop self-awareness? Why is Mary so very Mary, and what does she really think of her family? What was it like for Kitty, seeing what happened to her little sister, effectively losing her best friend, and the effects it had on her family, how did it change her world view - or did it? And Jane - she's the nicest, sweetest person in the world, but she's not weak or a pushover, and I love that about her. I'd love to read a story about Jane standing her ground, and being strong in her own, quiet way.

I'm most interested in gen here, but including any of the canon husbands as needed is fine. And it probably goes without saying, but I am very fond of all five sisters, and would really rather not see any of them demonised. They all have their flaws, some more than others, but that just makes them more interesting and relatable in my eyes.

Thanks for reading!

yuletiiiiiiiide

2014-10-22T13:07:32Z

Dear Yuletide Writer,

First things first: Optional Details Are Optional! I definitely know this, and I just love my four fandoms and chosen characters so much, I'll be so happy to see any kind of fic featuring them. If you have an idea for a story you want to write that doesn't really match any of the ideas or prompts I've thrown out there, you should definitely just go with your thing!

I enjoy a wide range of styles/themes/genres when it comes to fic, from fluff to angst to crack to humour to drama etc. I suppose I do have a general preference for a not-too-unhappy ending, but honestly if a rocks-fall-everyone-dies ending is where your heart takes you, then by all means follow your bliss. Also, my prompts are pretty shippy, and I'd love femslash, but as long as there is a focus on the requested characters and their interactions, gen is okay, too!

I'm fine with any rating. If you want to write sex scenes, cool, but if you don't want to write them that's also cool.

Some more things I'm cool with: AUs, apocalyptic scenarios, tropes, meta, violence, slice of life, holiday themes... most things actually!

I really love: dialogue and banter, strong bonds of friendship and more than friendship, female characters and when women have their own stories and agency and do things and talk to each other and rely on each other and have conflict with each other and love each other. (But not necessarily all at the same time!)

Please Definitely No: non-con/rape, harm to animals, character bashing, body fluid kinks.

And I'd prefer no unexpected crossovers, thanks. If I didn't request it, I don't want it. I'd also rather not see any non-canon background pairings.

Ok, I think that about covers it. I hope writing for me won't be stressful, and that you are able to have fun and enjoy it. Thank you for writing for me! Now on to the requests.

Oh, P.S. you can find me as 'ijemanja' on AO3, here.

Alien: Resurrection - Ripley, Call
Ripley and Call working together, infiltrating military labs and taking out alien infestations and basically being badass monster-fighting space heroes together? Or the one where they are on the run together from the company/military/whoever wants Ripley's alien DNA post-Resurrection. Or how about a demon-hunter AU? Or really anything that includes Ripley and Call bonding over their lack of humanity even as they find it in each other. Bonus for all the you-and-me-against-the-world tropey goodness you can squeeze in here.

This is one of those yuletide fandoms I keep coming back to. I love scifi and the final-girl genre in general, and Ripley is the final girl and Aliens is one of my favourite franchises of all time. And Ripley/Call as a ship works so well for me on so many levels. I love it when characters start out at cross-purposes but then are forced to work together to overcome adversity. Alien: Resurrection is basically an Alien-Human Hybrid/Synthetic Person buddy movie, in a way. Call starts out wanting to murder Ripley, while Ripley is just like 'lol, try it', and by the end they totally have each other's backs. Ripley even chooses Call over her creepy alien baby - now that's love.

I mean, here we have Sigourney Weaver playing a world-weary, six thousand-foot tall badass alien goddess while Winona Ryder is this tiny, soulful waif filled with robotpain and snark, and that is a contrast I find highly compelling and attractive.

For this request, I would be open to something with dark themes, that plays into the horror aspect of the franchise, if that is something you would be interested in writing. As long as the focus of the story is Ripley and Call, whatever canon-typical violence/gore/scary stuff in general you'd like to include is fine with me!

Goblin Market - Christina Rossetti - Lizzie, Laura
I would love some kind of genre shift - scifi, dystopia, modern-day urban fantasy, murder mystery (what happened to Jeannie? Plucky girl detectives Lizzie and Laura are on the case!) etc. I would also love a deeper look at the sisters' motivations. Why was Laura more susceptible than Lizzie? Was Lizzie simply immune to such temptation, or was she merely able to overcome it for her sister's sake? Does she regret never tasting the fruit herself? We see Lizzie's triumph over the goblins/temptation from her perspective, but how does Laura view her sister's actions, especially in light of her own? A story set after the poem, with the sisters facing some new supernatural challenge armed with a little more knowledge and experience, would also be great. Femslash or gen is equally welcome.

(Disclaimer: I requested Goblin Market for yuletide last year, and received TWO amazing gifts for this fandom. Now I'm being super greedy and asking for more.)

I just love the close, intense relationship we see between the sisters. They seem to be each other's whole world, and reading the poem you never doubt for a second that Lizzie would do or face anything to save her sister.

I see so many possibilities within this narrative, I would like to offer free reign to my writer here, because I'm sure there are tons of ideas I haven't thought of and I would truly love to see any of them. If it's something that interests you, I would be open to something grimdark and disturbing for this fandom. (The goblins are certainly sexually menacing in the poem, and the assault Lizzie endures is pretty intense - something that matches this level of violence, or even goes beyond it, is fine, but please no outright rape.) But I really would welcome any story here, for any of my prompts, or something completely different.

Note: If you would like to write femslash for this request, but incest is Not Your Thing, feel free to tweak canon so that Lizzie and Laura are step-sisters, or distant cousins, or best friends, or whatever. (I mean, I adore that they are sisters, it's an aspect of their characters and the narrative that I find important and compelling. But I like femslash too, so, you know, I'm willing to work with you here, Dear Writer!)

Ridiculous crossover idea that I'm embarrassed to mention but hey you only live once: so there's that five minute fandom Lemon Stealing Whores. And it occurred to me that, well, lemons... fruit... weird worldbuilding possibilities... Maybe there's something there. Maybe the whores are the goblin's only true adversaries. Maybe the whores recruit Lizze and Laura as the only girls known to go up against the goblins and live to tell the tale. Or maybe as far as the goblins are concerned, Lizzie and Laura are lemon stealing whores. Maybe in a world gone mad we're all lemon-stealing whores in our own way. I'm... just going to leave this here. /o\ Don't look at me I'm so sorry Christina Rossetti.

Rosemary and Thyme - Rosemary Boxer, Laura Thyme
I ship it. Super, super hard. Please write me a story about Rosemary and Laura being in love, or falling in love, or realising they've been in love all along. With all the porn you would like to include along with it. Also all the garden porn. Maybe they solve the mystery of their magical love with their super gardening powers? Or maybe they solve a regular mystery and in the process discover how hot for each other they are?

Something set at at some grand country estate with vast gardens and a giant mansion where they still somehow get stuck sleeping in the same bed would be excellent. And maybe at some point they get caught in a blizzard and then have to huddle for warmth? Maybe one gets hurt and the other provides comfort? Maybe they have to go undercover as a couple for some reason only to find that pretending to be madly in love feels strangely natural and they don't want to stop?? (In other words, I would love something tropey!)

I also might enjoy an AU. Perhaps a magic/Harry Potter AU where a retired auror and an herbology professor use their knowledge of magical plants to solve wizard crime? Or a garden centre/coffee shop AU? Or something in an historical setting - Edwardian lady/her trusty head gardener? Or something else, surprise me!

US Comedian RPF - Tina Fey, Amy Poehler
Best friends who fall in love, or best friends who have always been in love but it's never been the right time (until it is), or maybe the one where the best kept secret in Hollywood is that they are secretly married and all the times they've joked about it they were actually telling the truth. Or anything, set at any time during their careers. Pining or silliness or behind the scenes on one of their joint projects or the AU where they are news anchors in the seventies or rival cheerleading coaches or quidditch announcers or something because I'm always up for an AU.

Tina and Amy are basically my favourite people in the world. I admire the hell out of them and all their accomplishments and their attitudes and their ridiculous, incredible talent. I love their epic friendship and their long, amazing careers, I love that they are gorgeous and hilarious and smart and that they admire and support each other and always go out of their way to make jokes about how in love with each other they are. Or, you know, 'jokes'.

(My tinhat is on tight, is what I'm saying.)

I would actually be just as happy to read gen about these two as I would something super shippy because I really do adore their friendship as much as I like imagining they are secretly married soulmates. They are BFFs for the ages. Capture something - anything - of their relationship and I will be so happy.

Thank you for reading! Can't wait to see what you come up with!

femslashex letter

2014-09-03T01:42:29Z

Dear Femslashex Writer,

Thank you for writing for me! Optional details are optional - if none of my prompts work for you, please feel free to go with an idea of your own. I love my four fandoms and would be happy to read anything about the pairings requested.

In general, I'm easy on genre/style. I like AUs and genre-shifts. Fluff/drama/plotty/angsty/comedic etc - all welcome. I do have a preference for dialogue and things happening (for any given value of 'things happening') rather than a lot of introspection or straight out PWP.

In dealing with canon het love interests or relationships, feel free to acknowledge/deal with them or ignore their existence entirely as you see fit.

If you want to include sex scenes, that's fine, and if you don't, that's also fine.

I'm okay with violence, horror, and gore. I'm also okay with most kinks, if that's something you want to write.

Please No: animal harm, body fluid kinks (scat, vomit, etc.), non-canonical character death, graphic depictions of abuse or rape.*

* For the River Song/Madame Kovarian prompt you can have more leeway, because that's a messed up pairing by nature and I would be expecting dark content/themes in that case.

My AO3 username is 'ijemanja', and here are my prompts:

Discworld - Polly/Mal, Granny/Nanny, Susan/Angua

Polly/Mal: Cross-dressing hijinks, hurt/comfort, dealing with a bad day of combat, letting loose while on leave, Polly meeting Mal's family, arranged marriage AU, modern-day armed-forces AU, some other kind of AU, because I like AUs. Any or all of these things, please!

Granny/Nanny: I'd love to see how they grew closer over the years, as Esme became Granny and and Gytha became Nanny, because I love the way they took different paths to where we see them in the novels, two women who know each other inside and out, and who respect and rely on and love each other, warts and all. I'd love to see them meeting each other as girls, or a cosy day-in-the-life story set at any time during their long co-existence. Something with magic and headology and their respective talents would be nice, too. Obligatory AU prompt: the one where they are teachers at Hogwarts, possibly in like the 16th or 17th century, because that could be fun.

Susan/Angua: What if Angua kept running into Susan in odd places doing odd, supernatural things, while Angua was out on patrol in the middle of the night? Or what if the Watch needed to consult with Death's granddaughter on a case? What if Angua was assigned to be Susan's bodyguard for some reason, even though Susan, of course, is the last person to ever need a bodyguard? Or anything, really, I just think these two would be a lot of fun (and hot!) together.

Alien series - Ripley/Call

Ripley and Call working together, infiltrating military labs and taking out alien infestations and basically being badass monster-fighting space heroes together? Or the one where they are on the run together from the company/military/whoever wants Ripley's alien DNA post-Resurrection. Or how about a demon-hunter AU? Or really anything that includes Ripley and Call bonding over their lack of humanity even as they find it in each other. Bonus for all the you-and-me-against-the-world tropey goodness you can squeeze in here.

Doctor Who - River Song/Mels, River Song/Madame Kovarian

River/Mels: Mature, all-knowing River meeting her young, reckless, angry self, please, because that would be amazing. Maybe there's a moment of compassion and understanding, or maybe it's all teasing and spoilers and hallucinogenic lipstick, or maybe just go with all the self!cest porn, because that would be hot.

River/Kovarian: Some kind of fucked up mind games or Silencey mind control or dubcon or hatesex or a revenge fantasy or a dark!River AU. Feel free to go nuts with this one.

Comedian RPF - Tina Fey/Amy Poehler

Best friends who fall in love, or best friends who have always been in love but it's never been the right time (until it is), or maybe the one where the best kept secret in Hollywood is that they are secretly married and all the times they've joked about it they were actually telling the truth. Or anything, set at any time during their careers. Pining or silliness or behind the scenes on one of their joint projects or the AU where they are news anchors in the seventies or rival cheerleading coaches or quidditch announcers or something because I'm always up for an AU.

Yuletide letter!

2013-10-11T16:20:54Z

Dear Writer,

Happy yuletide!

First things first: Optional Details Are Optional! I definitely know this, and I just love my four fandoms and chosen characters so much, I'll be so happy to see any kind of fic featuring them. If you have an idea for a story you want to write that doesn't really match any of the ideas or prompts I've thrown out there, you should definitely just go with your thing!

I enjoy a wide range of styles/themes/genres when it comes to fic, from fluff to angst to crack to humour to drama etc. I suppose I do have a general preference for a not-too-unhappy ending. Also, some of my prompts are pretty shippy, but if you just want to write gen, that's okay!

If you want to write sex scenes, cool, but if you don't want to write them that's also cool.

Some more things I'm cool with: AUs, apocalyptic scenarios, tropes, meta, holiday themes... most things actually!

I really like dialogue and female characters and when female characters have their own stories and agency and do things and talk to each other.

Erm, I don't tend to enjoy stories that are all introspection. I guess I just prefer when characters are doing or saying things, rather than thinking about them a lot?

I'd prefer no unexpected crossovers. If I didn't request it, I don't want it, sorry!

Unless mentioned or requested (like Sarah/Nancy), I'd also prefer no non-canon background pairings.

Please Definitely No: non-con/rape, harm to animals, main character death (unless it's part of canon, like Jeannie in Goblin Market).

Ok, I think that about covers it. I hope writing for me won't be stressful or anything, and that you are able to have fun and enjoy it. Thank you for writing for me! Now on to the requests!

Goblin Market - Christina Rossetti - Lizzie, Laura
I would love some kind of genre shift - scifi, dystopia, modern-day urban fantasy, murder mystery (what happened to Jeannie? Plucky girl detectives Lizzie and Laura are on the case!) etc. I would also love a deeper look at the sisters' motivations. Why was Laura more susceptible than Lizzie? Was Lizzie simply immune to such temptation, or was she merely able to overcome it for her sister's sake? Does she regret never tasting the fruit herself? We see Lizzie's triumph over the goblins/temptation from her perspective, but how does Laura view her sister's actions, especially in light of her own? A story set after the poem, with the sisters facing some new supernatural challenge armed with a little more knowledge and experience, would also be great. Femslash or gen is equally welcome.

I just love the close, intense relationship we see between the sisters. They seem to be each other's whole world, and reading the poem you never doubt for a second that Lizzie would do or face anything to save her sister.

I see so many possibilities within this narrative, I would like to offer free reign to my writer here, because I'm sure there are tons of ideas I haven't thought of and I would truly love to see any of them. If it's something that interests you, I would be open to something grimdark and disturbing for this fandom. (The goblins are certainly sexually menacing in the poem, and the assault Lizzie endures is pretty intense - something that matches this level of violence, or even goes beyond it, is fine, but please no outright rape.) But I really would welcome any story here, for any of my prompts, or something completely different.

The Cabin in the Woods - Dana Polk
I would love to see the AU where Dana shoots Marty and saves the world. What was she thinking as she pulled the trigger, and how does she come to terms with making that choice? And what happens to her next? Of course, the Facility isn't just going to let her go now she knows everything. Not to mention there are like a million scary-ass monsters currently running amok. How does she even survive the day, let alone long enough to sign a non-disclosure agreement? If this idea doesn't appeal, I'd enjoy anything focused on Dana set during or after the movie. What-ifs and side-stepping-canon AUs welcome. I'd enjoy seeing more of the Director, too, if you wanted to include her!

So the 'what if Dana successfully shot and killed Marty' idea has been in my head since I saw the movie. I suppose because the actual ending of the movie is so, well, final. Marty and Dana's choice there at the end - welp, humans suck, end of the world is the best course of action - was a fascinating and cool ending but left me wanting more. Specifically, I wanted Dana, the girl who always had the chance to survive, not only surviving, but having to go back to living her life, now knowing that the world is incredibly fucked up and horrible in ways she could never have imagined - and that she helped keep it that way. Anyway, so that is my reasoning behind the Dana-shoots-Marty prompt.

But as mentioned, anything about Dana would be good! Perhaps something exploring her friendship with Jules, or something unpacking/subverting the five sacrificial tropes Dana and her friends occupied. What if Dana had been the whore, or the fool, or the scholar or jock? There's so much about this movie's mythology that would be fun to explore or pick at!

For the record, I'm not really looking for anything shippy in this fandom, and I do not ship Dana/Marty. Gen greatly preferred here!

The Craft (1996) - Rochelle, Bonnie
I'd love to see something about Rochelle and Bonnie set after the movie - perhaps involving rediscovering their powers in some way, together, without the influence of the other two girls. Or the opposite - dealing with going back to being normal after everything that happened. I really loved the small hints of their closeness in canon - just seeing more of that would be great. I do ship it, so femslash would be awesome, but focusing on their friendship is okay, too. Sarah and/or Nancy are also very welcome if you want to write about the four as a coven during the movie, or maybe bring them all back together after the movie somehow - that would also be interesting!

So this request is somewhat reproduced from a request I made for femslashex (femslash fic exchange) recently. That request was more ship-focused, and involved Nancy/Sarah, and you can read the letter if you would like, and consider all of it to apply here if any of it catches your fancy. I decided to focus my request just on Rochelle and Bonnie for yuletide, so of course there is no obligation to include Nancy and Sarah (or Nancy/Sarah) in any way. Just saying.

One thing that interests me about Bonnie and Rochelle is that they don't seem to have learned much from their experiences during the movie. Are they really so unaffected? Have they totally escaped consequences for their actions? Could hubris lead them into further trouble/weirdness/danger? What would make them grow up, if not everything that has already happened? All questions I would enjoy seeing addressed in fic form!

Note: I'd rather not see graphic sex scenes for any of the characters if the story is set while they are still in high school.

The Needlers - SNL sketch - Dan Needler, Sally Needler
I would love to see something that delves a little deeper into how their relationship functions. And WHY it functions, when it clearly shouldn't. Or maybe something about painting the bathroom. Or baby fic. Or their past -- college and why they kept getting back together after breaking up all those times and why Dan proposed. Or scenes from their various wedding anniversaries over the years. Or just something that resembles one of the sketches. Weird as it might sound for this couple, I'd prefer no permanent break-ups, and no super-angsty endings in general.

I have requested and received fic for this fandom before, I should disclose! I was very happy with the Needlers fic I was gifted with, it was awesome, but here I am requesting it again because that's how much I love this source and am greedy for more.

I really love this relationship. It's ridiculous, and awful, but kind of weirdly sweet somehow? In a depressing kind of way because they're never going to be happy? But maybe that's okay because they'd rather be miserable together than happy apart? I don't know. They're dysfunctional, horrible, but perfect for each other. Capture that dynamic somehow and I will love you forever.

Femslashex Dear Writer Letter

2013-09-23T08:57:38Z

Dear femslashex writer,

Here are my prompts, which are long but hopefully helpful in some way. I've included some general preferences below. Thank you for writing for me!

Adventure Time - Princess Bubblegum/Marceline, Fionna/Flame Princess, Fionna/Ice Queen

So PB/Marceline = love, they are my OTP. But I also really, really, (LIKE REALLY) loved Fionna in her episodes, so I would be equally happy with Fionna femslash. I love the potential posed by Ice Queen merely existing and having weird, awkwardly intense feelings about Fionna, and I adore Flame Princess entirely, too. (I really love every character in this show, anyone you want to include in the story, please do!) What I love most about this show is that it does the silly, random, wacky, trope-subverting hijinks at the same time as it maintains and develops these wonderful, engaging relationships between the characters. So that's what I'd like to request here, for any of these pairings: something that explores and deepens the relationships while not skimping on the silly random fun. People having adventures and working together while learning about and having tension with and growing mega-crushes on each other is something this show does really well, and I'd love a story that captures some of that.

Avatar: The Last Airbender - Toph/Smellerbee, Katara/Mai

Toph/Smellerbee just makes sense to me - I love that they're both girls with confidence in their abilities, who are fiercely loyal, and don't care what others think of them, while still having moments of sensitivity because they're still young and figuring things out. Anything to do with them meeting/bonding/having crushes/working together/fighting together/fighting each other - I'd love it all. Mai/Katara I see as more of an antagonistic pairing, but I'd love to see them coming to some kind of better understanding, while still having tension because they are such fundamentally different people. It could take a lot for them to even like each other, let alone anything more - showing how that might happen would be wonderful.

Baby Mama - Angie/Kate

I would love to see anything for this pairing. Fpreg, or some kind of AU where Baby Mama is a romcom about a woman and her surrogate falling in love, or any kind of AU really, or just something with Angie and Kate hanging out and being moms together and realising they are soulmates, or a missing scene from the movie, or something set in the future. Really, anything! (P.S. Feel free to pretend Kate's canon love interest doesn't exist - that's what I do when I watch this movie!)

The Craft (1996) - Rochelle/Bonnie, Sarah/Nancy

For Rochelle/Bonnie, I'd love to see something set after the movie - perhaps involving rediscovering their powers in some way, together, without the influence of the other two girls. Or the opposite - dealing with going back to being normal after everything that happened. I really loved the small hints of their closeness in canon - just seeing more of that would be great. For Sarah/Nancy, perhaps something set in an AU where Nancy doesn't overload on power and turn evil, where the four girls manage to keep it together as a coven, with head games and power struggles between Nancy and Sarah? Or - and I realise this would be difficult to approach without getting into ableist territory regarding the mental health issues - a story where Nancy recovers enough to be released from care, and tracks Sarah down (or vice versa) would be interesting, and possibly hot if it involved power struggles and head games and maybe hate sex. (I really want power struggles and head games for Nancy/Sarah, in case it isn't obvious!)

General notes:

I'm easy on genre/style. I like AUs and genre-shifts. Fluff/drama/plotty/angsty/comedic etc - all welcome. Although I do have a preference for dialogue and things happening (for any given value of 'things happening') rather than a lot of introspection or straight out PWP.

Please no abuse, rape, animal harm, or character death.

Also, a lot of my requested characters are kids or teenagers in canon.* This probably goes without saying, but I'm really not looking for graphic sex involving those characters. If the story is set when they are older, then fade-to-black or implied sex is okay. I just have some trouble seeing young characters, especially the ATLA characters, as anything other than kids.

* With an exception made for PB/Marcy, as they are both a zillion years old in canon, even if they appear and often act like teenagers. They're basically a couple of weird old ladies, which is one of the things I love most about them.

holiday fic exchange reveal post

2012-01-08T13:35:03Z

Bit late, but here are the fics I wrote over the holiday season.

This year I did the sanctuary_santa exchange, and wrote Objects Within a Magnetic Field, a Helen/Nikola fic for elegantpi.

As for yuletide:

For my official assignment, I wrote a super silly Community fic that I, quite frankly, had a blast writing, Help, I'm Stuck in a Meta Fic and Can't Get Out. kenaz, my recipient, seemed to like it, which I am very glad about considering, um, all the silliness.

I also wrote a treat, Kippers and Whistles - 30 Rock, Liz/Wesley, for winninghearts.

And a madness drabble, High Apple Pie in the Sky Hopes, about the gmail Bus Stop Theme Girl, for raz0rgirl.

avatar: the last airbender: solid ground (toph/suki)

2011-08-16T19:07:10Z

Title: Solid Ground
Fandom: Avatar: the Last Airbender
Pairing: Toph/Suki
Warning: adolescent girls crushing on other adolescent girls and basically being adorable babydykes
Summary: Toph hates the water because she's afraid of it. But she's working on that.
Notes: My femslash11 entry, for insane_duckfish. Let's say this is set while the Gaang is hiding out on Ember Island, towards the end of season three. Rated PG, 1600 words.

Nothing made sense in the water. There was no weight to it, and she couldn't see through it. It was worse than being up in the air; water tried to move her where she didn't want to go. It tried to cover her up, carry her away, make her blind.

Water kind of sucked.

*

The things is, it had to be Suki. Had to be.

Because no way could she ask Katara to do it - Katara would have to be all nice about it, and then Toph would have to puke, or kill herself or something.

And Sokka would pat her on the head and go 'aw!' and then she'd have to punch him. A lot.

Aang? Well there was no way she was going to ask Aang. She was his teacher, not the other way around. She wasn't messing with that set-up, it suited her just fine.

Which left Zuko, which would just be plain old embarrassing, or Suki.

So Suki it was.

*

"Are you sure, Toph?" Suki said carefully. "You hate the water."

"I hate it because I'm afraid of it," she confessed fiercely, kicking at the wooden deck beneath her feet. "And I hate that I'm afraid of it. So let's just get on with it already."

"Well, all right, let's go."

"Wait. I kinda don't want anyone to know about it."

She felt Suki lean in conspiratorially. "Then we'll have to sneak off. What's the plan?"

Toph grinned. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

*

In the water, Suki put an arm under her middle, bearing her up at the surface. "Move your arms the way I showed you, and try kicking at the same time. Remember, you're sort of trying to scoop the water backwards, to push you forward. Scoop and push. Scoop and push. Hey, that's not bad. How do you feel?"

"Just great," Toph panted, labouring just to keep her face out of the water and all her limbs moving at the same time. "No problem. Don't know why I ever thought this was a dumb thing for a person to do."

"You're doing fine," Suki laughed as she moved slowly alongside Toph in the water.

Although, whether Toph was managing to move at all independently, or if Suki was the one doing all the moving, wasn't clear. Toph kind of felt like she wasn't doing much besides smashing her hands and feet at the water and looking like a giant freak doing it..

"Okay, I'm going to let go of you," Suki said.

"Great."

"I'll be right here."

"Great."

"Okay?" Suki let go. "You got it? Look, you're swimming!"

"Yeah, I got it. I got it," she said between flails. "I'm good! See I'm doing jus-" the end of her words cut off in a gurgle as her face, eager to join the rest of her, went under. And then she sank. Sank like a stone. Which was appropriate, Toph figured, right before she started panicking.

*

A few seconds later, after Suki had dragged her back to the surface, she coughed, spat out a lungful or two of water, and latched onto Suki's arms like her life maybe sort of depended on it.

"That was a good first try," Suki said diplomatically.

Toph gasped - and hey, she never really stopped and noticed how great air was - through the sodden hanks of hair plastered to her face. She said, "I drowned."

"Well you were only a few inches underwater. And the bottom is right here."

"Oh," she said, getting her feet back under her. Tried to laugh. "There it is."

Not embarrassed at all. Nope.

"Wanna try again?" Suki asked. Suki's hands, Toph realised, were on her waist again, firm and solid and nothing like the damn water swirling around, pushing and pulling at them. "This time," she added, "I won't let go."

Toph shivered. It was the water, which was... not that cold, actually. Kind of pleasant. But it was still water and therefore seriously not to be trusted.

She wriggled her toes in the shifting sand and prepared to kick off. She flexed her fingers on Suki's forearms. Solid, she thought. "Sounds like a plan," she said, and held her breath just in case.

*

Toph wasn't a touchy-feely type of girl. Katara was the one with the hugging and the putting hands gently on shoulders, patting people like they were fluffy little owl-kitties. As far as Toph was concerned, if it couldn't be expressed by socking someone in the arm, you should probably keep it to yourself.

The thing was, there was a lot of touching involved in learning to swim. She didn't notice so much at first, too busy noticing all the water up her nose instead. But after a little while she stopped panicking so much and she didn't almost drown every five minutes and Suki's hands all over her bare arms and waist and back were suddenly a lot more obviously there.

So then she found herself torn somewhere between the general need to cling to Suki like a rhino-koala clings to a tree and wanting to throw herself to the mercy of the cruel deep ocean because at least it didn't make her feel so embarrassed and nervous and weird. It only made her afraid for her life, and well, she was working on that, wasn't she.

*

"Not so bad, right?" Suki said.

They were treading water, or Suki was, while Toph held onto her shoulders and tried to get the hang of whatever she was supposed to do with her legs.

"Define bad," she replied through gritted teeth. This was hard. Everything about it was hard. "I really stink at this, don't I?"

"I think everyone stinks on their first try."

"Quit being nice to me!"

"No. Your legs are all wrong, by the way."

"That's more like it."

*

See, she wasn't used to being snuck up on.

With her feet on solid ground, the earth told her everything she needed to know about who was where and what they were doing. In the water, all of that disappeared, and every brush of Suki's clothes or cool, soft skin against hers came out of nowhere; a shock every time.

The lagoon was pretty calm, but a larger swell came up suddenly, taking Toph by surprise. Suki grabbed her closer to hold her steady as they rose and fell together, and it was just too much, bumping up against each other all over, legs tangling and Suki's wet hair in her face.

"Okay!" She pushed away from the girl and let go, bobbing there anchorless, all by herself.

"Hey, you're doing it," Suki said, sounding excited.

Well, not any more she wasn't. Boy, was it time to go.

*

She could hear the waves lapping at the shore, and flailed in that direction till her feet found the bottom and she could drag herself up towards the beach.

"Toph? You okay?" Suki called after her, but she was kind of busy over here and didn't bother replying.

When the water was only swirling at her shins she lifted her foot and drove it down, making a big splash yes, but more importantly striking the sand with the force of all her ability. Even through the shifting, water-logged sand she felt the echo of it; there it was, sweet, solid rock coming up from deep down below. She splashed happily over towards it.

*

Reaching the rocky outcropping was like coming home. She wanted to hug it. She sat on it instead, pulling up her feet and clinging to the rough surface with her fingers and toes, feeling better already.

After a minute Suki sat down beside her, and suddenly there she was - the first clear picture she'd had of the other girl since their feet first hit the shallows.

"Well, that went well," Toph said.

"You did great today, and we'll try it again tomorrow. All you need is to practice some more."

"Yeah, practice."

Suki put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, it scares you and you did it anyway. You're really brave, Toph."

She thought about that, while her stomach shifted around like it was full of wave-tossed sand. Actually, she had swallowed a lot of seawater, so it probably was.

"Thanks, Suki," she said.

She held her breath, then leaned over, and up a little. And she kissed her, real quick, lips colliding for a tiny, soft, salty moment.

"Oh," said Suki.

"Huh," said Toph, sitting back down. "So. You'll give me another lesson tomorrow, right?"

*

"Hey, where have you two been?" Katara said when they made it back to the house. "Wait a minute. Toph?"

"What?"

"I don't know, you just seem different."

"What? I do not! Different how?"

"Oh, I don't know. Cleaner?" Katara snickered. Toph flopped down beside her on the stairs, while Suki bypassed the two of them with a smile, going on inside.

Toph shoved Katara's shoulder with her foot. "Funny, Katara."

"So where were you, anyway?"

"It's no big deal, Suki was just giving me a swimming lesson," she said. Because come to think of it, she'd never had a problem with brave.

parks and rec: the crap on the crayfish (leslie/ben)

2011-05-13T11:42:37Z

Title: The Crap on the Crayfish
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie/Ben
Rating: teen
Notes:Just a quick episode addition, starting from the end of the second last scene in 'Road Trip'. SPOILERS, obviously. 800 words. (I had to do this. Every time I think of, you know, that bit, I make a sound so high-pitched dogs can't even hear it.)

"Uh-oh." Crap crap crap. He was such a good kisser. Crap. She took a deep breath as she continued to stare up at him and swear a lot in her head. But all that came out as she exhaled was, "Oooh no."

"No good?" he said. He was smiling like he almost couldn't contain it on his face.

"Terrible," she said. "Awful. I am not gonna be able to stop doing that."

Then she smiled, and he kept smiling, and he touched her hair, brushing it back from her face, and she let out a little sigh because god.

"That - that sucks," Ben said.

"Totally sucks."

They were just smiling like complete idiots at each other now. And she didn't know what to do with her hands, so she put them up around his neck, just to get them out of the way. And then she was pulling his head down because if he kept smiling at her like that she was going to die, and kissing him again was clearly the only possible solution.

But he hesitated an inch away from her lips to say, "So we should talk, probably? About this?"

His hands were on her waist now beneath her blazer and she realised she could smell his aftershave or shampoo or just his skin or something that smelled really good. So forget the smiling thing, because it had just become a matter of if she kept not kissing him any longer she was going to die, and so she said, "Yep, uh-huh," and then pushed up on her toes to cross that last inch quickly before he took her agreement seriously and actually wanted to talk.

His arms slid around the small of her back, gathering her up against his chest as he kissed her back. She figured he was on board. Who wanted to talk? Talking was stupid.

The kiss was longer this time, and deeper, and wetter, and awesomer. She got to slide her fingers into his hair; she'd always wanted to do that, and it felt really good. She got to taste the coffee-taste on his tongue, and smile against his mouth as he nipped her bottom lip.

It went on for a really long time, till she felt all flushed and too warm in her clothes, and his hand was on her butt, and what was even happening right now? How was this so good? They stumbled back a few steps, too busy making out to even, like, negotiate gravity apparently. Once they were steady again he just pulled her closer, his hips angled into hers. Her palms were moving up and down his chest. He groaned a little into her mouth, and then her fingers were bunching in his shirt and she was tugging at it and -

"Whoa, okay," suddenly Ben was like a foot away, holding her back by the shoulders. "We should probably, uh, stop um, stop that there. Now." He cleared his throat, swallowing hard.

She nodded. "Right, no, yes. Or you could throw me down on that desk."

His mouth partly open, he stared at her, and then at the nearby desk, for like a full fifteen seconds. Like she'd actually just short-circuited his brain.

And just the fact that she could make him look like that was just the sexiest thing ever, all by itself. Because he was all hers, and nothing could ruin that.

"I was kidding," she said. She totally wasn't kidding. "You're probably busy."

"Um," said Ben. "Yeah. What?"

"So we should find some time to... talk, like you said."

"Yeah, yes, definitely." He smiled slowly, finally caught up, though he did steal another glance over at the desk before letting his hands fall from her shoulders and taking a short step backwards.

"Well you could call me, and we could set that up." She twirled a piece of hair in her fingers, eyeing him. She could tell he'd been kissing someone just from looking at him - his mouth a little red, his hair all messy and his shirt half-untucked. She really liked how the person he'd been kissing was her.

He looked at the desk again and took another step back. "Yes, I will. I will... call you."

She decided to help him out by taking a step back herself. They could do this. They could totally not make out all day outside Chris's office. They were the dynamic duo, after all, there was nothing they couldn't not do.

"So, I will talk to you then," she said.

"Yep. Also in like a half-hour, at that meeting."

Crap, the meeting. Usually she loved meetings, but in half an hour she was just going to want to make out with him all over again. Or at least stare at his mouth a lot and picture it. That would probably be okay, wouldn't it?

"Uh-oh," she said.

doctor who: denial (not just a river) (eleven/river, amy, rory)

2011-05-12T15:11:56Z

Title: Denial (Not Just a River in ~~the stormcage~~ Egypt)
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing: Eleven/River-ish
Rating: teen
Summary: After leaving River behind, there's something important that needs to be said. And some other things that don't.
Notes: Set post-'Day of the Moon', 1500 words. Doctor, Amy, Rory, funtimes in the Tardis.

(Disclaimer: So I wrote this thing, and then I was poking around Who fandom, and I saw rumours/spoilers that made me think a certain aspect of this fic is rather ill-advised in an awkward sort of way. Basically if said rumours turn out to be true, we'll just have to pretend this fic never happened. The story itself contains no spoilers at all, however.)

Something was the matter with Amy.

She was indeterminately pregnant, an either/or situation which had no business being one, and the Doctor had no idea what that was about except that it was a problem, clearly.

A problem that he was going to put aside to sort out later because right now something else was happening that was almost as disturbing and twice as annoying.

The Ponds were kissing. Again. They were always kissing. Newlyweds. He was used to it - or usually he was. But just now they were doing it again and something in the Doctor's head buzzed like a swarm of very annoyed insects at the entire situation.

"I kissed her," he said.

Because what was the point in having Ponds at all if they were just going to stand there concerned with their own kissing and not helping him with his?

The Ponds surfaced, and Amy peered at him over Rory's shoulder. "D'you say something?"

"I... kissed her. River. Well, it wasn't my idea, she kissed me, really."

Immediately intrigued, Amy abandoned Rory altogether. That was more like it. "Oh yeah? You and River, eh?"

"She. And... me. There was - it - thing - happened. When I said goodbye to her." He paused, waiting. "Well, what do we think about that?"

"That's nice?" Rory ventured.

"Nice?" Amy scoffed. "How was it? Come on, was it really good? It was really good, wasn't it?"

They were interested, then. Oh, they were interested. Too interested. He wasn't even that interested. "Um, right, never mind, I've just remembered something a lot more important." Had he? Yes, he had. "About eight thousand years from now the Giant Lumpy-Nosed Asteroid Beetles of the outer Farlex sector are about to be raced around a giant obstacle course by riders who happen to be slightly smaller Lumpy-Nosed Asteroid Beetles. Very cool. Very... lumpy. What are we doing sitting around here, then, eh?"

"I bet she's a really good kisser," Amy mused. "Can always tell, got that look about her."

"If we hurry, we'll get there in time to get good seats - close enough to see all the action, far enough back to avoid the mucas - and, if we're lucky, maybe an icy drink." He was still talking, and maybe at some point someone would notice it.

Of course, he wasn't the only one. "I mean I'd kiss her any day," said Amy. "Maybe I will, next time we see her."

"Um, only you can't kiss her," Rory pointed out.

"Oh, you don't mind, do you, Doctor?" she called, peering round from the other side of the console where the Doctor was manically doing things.

Important things. Much more important than the current topic of discussion, which was just getting annoying, now.

"Mind? Mind what? What could I possibly mind? No, what we really need around here is more humans kissing all the time."

"Oh, now don't get your bowtie in a bunch. I can't kiss her, can I?"

"Thank you!" said Rory.

"Mr Kissy-Face over there would get jealous, wouldn't he, if I went and kissed his girlfriend?"

"Ah, no, he most certainly would not!" said Mr Kissy-Face.

Rory frowned. "That's not quite where I was going with that. Husband? You've got one?"

"Yes, dear."

The Doctor stopped the very important thing he was doing in order to really get his point across: "I'm sorry, Mr Kissy-Face?"

"Oooh, Doctor Song," Amy drawled. "Kiss me, you sexy thing you." Smooching noises followed, along with Amy's interpretation of the kissy-face in question.

"That's not even what it was like," the Doctor muttered, glowering at a row of dials and questioning his decision to ever associate with humans, ever. "Anyway, I'm not the jealous type. And - especially 'and', this is the important 'and', mind - and River is not my girlfriend."

Amy popped up at his side suddenly. "Are you sure?"

"You did kiss her," Rory pointed out, smirking a little.

"Well I kiss loads of people. Believe me, I get around, I'm almost universally considered not-bad-looking at all. I mean what's a kiss between... friends? It hardly counted. She kissed me, anyway. I only kissed back slightly, I mean I did a bit, didn't want to be rude. It wasn't even that good a kiss. It was all right. Quite nice, actually, sort of tingly in places. Interesting, definitely. River's an interesting person, I've always thought so. Nice... hair. Very nice hair."

Amy looked at Rory. "How long do you think he's going to babble about only slightly kissing her?"

"Oi, come on, travelling vast distances of time and space for your amusement here, try to focus on what's important, hm?"

"Oh, I am." Amy folded her arms over her chest, hip cocked accusingly. "So, you snogged her: exhibit A. You flirt with her all the time, exhibit B, and you think she's sexy with her big guns and hair and... eyes and things, don't deny it, there's your exhibit C. You like it when she bosses you around, exhibit D, and, the important and, and you like her. Exhibit E." She turned to Rory. "Verdict?"

Rory cleared his throat. "Sorry. Girlfriend."

"She is so your girlfriend."

The Doctor said, "I do not like it when she bosses me around."

"Liar."

He wasn't lying. 'Like' didn't even begin to cover it.

"She's in prison!" he pointed out. "I can't have a girlfriend in prison."

"Maybe they do conjugal visits," Rory said helpfully, then pretended he was fascinated by something on the viewing screen, and very much unaware that the Doctor was glaring at him like that.

Amy, immune to glares, continued the torment, unconcerned. "I don't know, makes it hotter, don't you think? Your old lady's in the slammer. She got any tattoos, you think?"

"I don't know!"

"Ask her to show you next time."

"But then she might. Show me."

"Is he turning red?" Amy asked Rory.

"Maybe blushing means something else for aliens," Rory said. "Er, boredom. Probably boredom? Not embarrassed and sort of, you know, turned on."

"I've made him blush before; trust me, same thing. It's kind of cute."

But the Doctor wasn't listening to them anymore. Suddenly he wasn't even annoyed, and the important Tardis-y things he was doing weren't very important at all. He stopped, his hands going still on the controls.

"Doctor?" Amy said.

He was all hunched over, a physical manifestation of the million or so worried, perplexing thoughts in his head, completely drowning out, for a moment, the persistent hum of the 'I just kissed River' chorus. And it wasn't even about Amy, or the little girl and the Silence, although they were there, too.

"My girlfriend's in prison, and I don't know why," he said.

"Oh." Amy tutted and came and hugged him sideways, resting her chin on his shoulder as she frowned at his ear in sympathy. "Poor Doctor."

"At least it isn't dull?" Rory offered.

It took a moment, but slowly a wide grin crossed the Doctor's face, and he straightened. "Yes."

Well, yes, there was that.

He flicked Amy's ear as he darted around her to go clap Rory's shoulder. Rory, marvellous Rory.

"Oi!" said Amy.

He pointed back at her. "That's for Mr Kissy-Face."

She pouted. "Oh, but it suits you."

"I'll tell you what, you lot, I - well I'm not embarrassed... I am sort of turned on... Only kidding. Sharing is fun. But look, what I am is, I am definitely not bored. Now let's go! Beetles racing in an assortment of sizes! Icy drinks! Here we come!"

"That's the spirit," Amy cheered, as he pulled some levers and turned some knobs and the Tardis signaled their arrival with its familiar, comforting refrain.

Then Amy added, "I should threaten to kiss River more often."

"Please don't," said both the Doctor and Rory at once.

Amy patted her husband's face absently, directing her retort to the Doctor. "You'll just have to get in first, then, won't you, Mr Kissy-Face."

Rolling his eyes, Rory drew her laughing over to the door.

The doctor smiled to himself before following. Anything but dull - anything but that. "Just watch me," he breathed, and headed out into what almost felt like a whole new world.

parks and rec: may, she will stay (leslie/ben)

2011-04-20T05:59:57Z

Title: May, She Will Stay
Fandom: Parks and Recreation
Pairing: Leslie/Ben
Rating: teen/general
Summary: After escaping from Orin, the party continues.
Notes: Ep addition for 3.09 Fancy Party. 4500 words. Fluff levels moderate to high. Title comes from Simon and Garfunkel's 'April Come She Will'. ~~Also, I can't recall ever learning certain characters' middle names on the show, so I made them up and they are probably wrong.~~ shornt helped me out with Leslie's middle name! Ben's middle name, still up in the air.

They hid out in the kitchen, giggling like idiots as they tried to catch their breath. Leslie looked over at Ben as she laughed. She just felt really happy all of a sudden. Probably because now the matter of whether Ben was staying or leaving for Indianapolis had been settled. He was going to be such an asset to the local council team. It made her heart glad just thinking about it.

"Hey," she said, "we should get a drink - some champagne. You brought champagne, didn't you?"

"It was that or buy a new TV, yeah. Uh, let's have a look, see what's around," he agreed easily.

They started a search amongst the various bottles scattered all over the place.

Empty. Empty. Half-empty beer - no good. Half-empty bottle of wine with used kleenex stuffed in the neck - ew. "I just think," she added over her shoulder, "I mean, it's a celebration, right?"

"Sure, yeah. Hey, here we go." Ben held an open champagne bottle aloft, and grabbed a pair of plastic cups from a handy stack on his way back over to her side. She held them while he poured. "Just enough for two. So, to April and Andy."

"The happy couple." She tapped his cup with her own, smiling as she drank.

Ben smiled back at her over the rim of his cup and the happy warmth in her heart spread. It was probably, almost definitely, the alcohol. She'd hadn't had much to drink yet over the course of the evening, too busy with panicked plans for wedding ruination, but this was really good champagne.

Ben was staying and he was her good, close friend; she was allowed to be glad.

Really she was just happy on Pawnee's behalf.

She quickly and silently reminded herself not to say that aloud.

But she needed to say something to mark the occasion. "Oh, and um, to... your new job! Wow, talk about celebrating, it's kind of a big step. I mean. In your career, a big step. A big change. Cutting old ties... Forging new paths. So you basically altered your entire career path, huh? Irrevocably, probably in ways you haven't even considered yet."

They stared at each other, unblinking, for a second. Neither bothered with the clinking glasses part, they just chugged, draining the last of the champagne with ease.

"Another drink, maybe?" she said.

"Yep."

*

"You still think it was a bad idea?" Ben said. "Those two, I mean?"

So turned out drinking was the way to go. It had really helped a lot. Great big glass of wine - so many problems solved. She was feeling really mellow now, just really happy, and he'd caught her watching April and Andy huddled together on the sofa, fingers laced together, off in their own little newlywed world. It was, frankly, adorable.

Leslie's hands flapped out from her sides. "Yes," she said flatly. She flapped again. "But what do I know? I have many years of repeated experience with failed relationships - maybe that's how it's supposed to look."

Andy and April were - were they spitting tic-tacs at each other? Where were they getting those tic-tacs? There was no food at this party. She was starving.

"I mean, maybe they'll still be doing... that when they've been married for sixty years," she continued. "Thinking they're idiots doesn't mean I don't want them to be happy forever."

"There's your guestbook message right there."

"Okay, and yours will be something in Klingon. And no one will be able to read it. Except for other nerds and Klingons."

"You know what, that's not even Star Wars, that's Star Trek, and I don't even -"

"Hang on, there's not really a guestbook, is there?" she spoke over the top of him. "I haven't seen one."

"- And frankly the Jedi would kick the Klingons' asses. What? Uh, there's a Pawnee City Council notepad over by the plastic cups, people have been writing stuff on there."

"Damn, now I do have to think of something to say."

"Not usually a problem for you."

"Still sore about the Kingon crack, huh?"

"Again, that's Star Trek, not Star Wars and it's not like I go to conventions dressed as a stormtrooper!"

"Come on, indoor voice. People are looking." She patted his arm in a calming gesture. "Why don't we get you something eat, it's probably just low blood sugar or something."

"Yeah, okay. Have you seen any food at this party?"

She grabbed him suddenly. "No, why, have you?"

*

"I dare you," Ben said.

Leslie, arms folded resolutely over her chest, shook her head firmly. "No, I can't hear you."

"Come on, you've said you're starving like eight times. You know what, I triple dog dare you."

"Well, that's great, but I don't care. And I still can't hear you."

"I think, uh, yep, I think you might be a big chicken."

"I'm not! I'm just being a good guest. What if I projectile vomit highly disturbing vegetable crap all over Andy and April's special party, did you think of that Ben? They're my friends, and I respect them too much for that."

"No you don't."

"Shut up I don't want to eat it!"

"I know," he said with a smirk.

She frowned. "You eat it. You eat Satan's veggie log and then I'll - I'll watch you. From a safe distance."

"Should I?"

"Do it. Do it! Oh my god you're doing it." She flung her hands up to cover her face. "Oh I can't watch. Please don't puke on me."

"Mmm. Hey, it's not bad."

She uncovered her eyes and stared at him in horrified yet grudging admiration.

"Tastes kind of like a... mushroomy... apple pie. No, more like... Hawaiian punch compost?"

"Urgh that is so wrong," she whined, hating everything. But then she noticed he was smiling. Was in fact way too happy for compost. "Wait, you didn't eat any, did you?"

"God no."

It would have been funny, except it wasn't. "Ew, I feel like I can taste it."

"It's okay, come on." He started to lead her away.

"I think I'm traumatised."

*

"So ridiculous food items aside, there is seriously nothing to eat at this party."

Ben gestured over his shoulder. "I saw a bowl of dip over there. I think it was dip; there aren't any chips anywhere, so I'm just taking a shot in the dark."

"Come on, let's see what we can scrounge up."

They hit the kitchen, Ben opening cabinets while she explored the fridge.

"Oh hey, jello shots. Someone's been hiding these." She drew the tray out from behind a collection of ancient take-out boxes, kicking the fridge door shut before setting the tray down on the counter.

"Wow, yeah this is not a good idea," Ben said, coming to stand beside her.

"Come on, we're hungry, it's food."

"That's not food."

"Sure it is, there's always room for jello." She did a shot. "Blue is the best. Want one?" There were two blue ones left, a red one, and a bunch of green. No one liked green jello, she honestly didn't know why it even existed. Ben could have the green ones.

Ben took a red one. He eyed it briefly before shrugging and throwing it back. "Yeah okay, that's basically vodka and food colouring," he said, returning the empty cup to the tray.

"And a buttload of gelatin. You know, otherwise the alcohol won't set at all. What? I know jello shots, I went to college." She did another shot. "Wow these are great."

Ben attempted to surreptitiously move the tray out of reach, but this only made her smile. "Boy, college was a great time, wasn't it? I was so... free and open to new things."

"The party girl hasn't been completely left behind, clearly," he told her with an amused smile.

She grabbed his arm, because suddenly this was really important. "Tell me you had fun in college. A little fun? I know you were newly traumatised by mayoral failure, but you weren't one of those kids who did nothing but study, and no one even got to know you at all?"

He just looked at her a moment, an odd smile on his face. "I had a little fun. Sometimes."

"Here." She reached across him to grab the last blue shot and held it under his nose. "You need this more than I do." He took it, giving her a slightly dubious look, but she just waited and he gave in like a second later. "Fun, right?" she said, laughing at his face as he winced.

"Oh yeah."

"Now this one."

"Seriously?"

"I know, it's green, but just do it real fast. Like an oyster. No! Pretend it's vegetable cake!"

He was laughing, but managed to get it down, at which point she cheered. One handed. She cheered one-handed, because apparently she was still clinging onto his arm, and why was she doing that? Oh, of course. Two shots of blue-tinted vodka on an empty stomach.

She let go.

There'd been shots, and wine before that, and champagne before than. There might have been beer at some point. This meant only one thing.

*

"Where are we going?"

"Just in here."

"Why are we in here?"

"My purse is in here somewhere."

She flipped on the light and moved to the bed on which coats were piled up and started to dig through them.

"What's in here again?" Ben said after a pause, sounding highly confused.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Uh, I don't know, someone stuffed me into a time machine, transported me to a finals week floor party, and made me do a bunch of jello shots."

"Sit down, you sound like a lunatic."

He slumped down onto the edge of the bed beside her. His face was all screwed up. "My mouth... tastes like... green."

"Oh! Found it!" She lunged across the bed and rescued her purse from under a pillow, where she now remembered hiding it back at the start of the evening. Andy and April had a lot of friends and she didn't like any of them. Clumsily, she righted herself, scooting back over to sit next to Ben. "Okay," she squinted at the card she managed to produce from her bag, "well, we are not in great shape, I can tell you that much. Basically nobody at this party is going anywhere for hours."

"That's what your card says?"

"Well this is terrible, this is a huge disaster in the making right here, all these hungry, intoxicated people, and we can't even leave because the card says no. What if everybody figures it out at the same time and there's a riot? Oh my god, Tom would be killed. And then we'd be forced to eat him to survive."

"What?"

She rubbed his shoulder. "It's okay, it's a confusing time. I can't believe we still haven't eaten, I'm starving, this is the worst dinner party."

"But we just had all that jello."

"Come on, jello isn't food."

"Oh, now jello isn't food?"

"And it was mostly vodka, anyway. That's it, I'm ordering pizza."

"That's... okay that's an incredible idea. Much better than the descent into cannibalistic chaos thing going on for a minute there. You always have the best ideas." He smiled at her, a big, dopey smile.

"Yeah yeah, shut up." She already had her phone out. "Carl? Hello, it's Leslie Knope, from the Parks and Recreation Department? Hi, I am at a party, and I am starving, so I need four - no, five large pizzas, with sausage, onion, and peppers. Hold on, Carl." She covered the phone with her hand and looked at Ben seriously. "Do you want a calzone?"

He laughed, ducking his head. "No, I'm good, thanks."

"Are you sure? I'll get you one."

"Really, it's okay."

Honestly, she was relieved, she would have felt so stupid ordering that. She spoke back into the phone. "That's it, Carl, thanks." She gave the address and dropped the phone back in her purse.

She sighed. Food. The party was saved. It could be April and Andy's wedding gift; a stupid gift for the stupidest wedding ever. Was Ben's arm around her waist? Oh, no, he was just leaning his hand on the mattress behind her. She was slouched back a little and resting against it, which was totally different.

It was quieter in here, away from everyone and the loud music. She sighed again, and realised she was staring at the side of Ben's face. Ben was looking down, and this was because, apparently, he was looking at her hand on his leg.

She wasn't groping his leg, okay? It's just, they were sitting close together - there were a lot of coats on this bed, they were conserving space - and her hand was just sort of resting there, against the side of his leg.

Except just thinking about what her hand was doing made her fingers move. Sort of flex. Almost like she was groping his leg. And he looked up at her finally and oh god she was groping Ben's leg and now they were going to kiss. Right? Of course they were. They had to, she'd been in situations like this before and people always kissed, it was practically required of them. In fact she was probably going to kiss him even if he didn't want to, that's how necessary it was.

Ben cleared his throat and swallowed hard.

She groped his leg some more.

Any second now someone was going to lean.

The door shuddered as it swung fully open and banged against the wall.

"Oh, I'm sorry you two, am I interrupting something in here?"

"Yes," she said, glaring, while Ben jumped out of his skin and said, "no! Wait, yes?"

'I'm in the middle of a very important phone call, Jerry, what do you want?"

"My jacket - it's getting late, so I'm heading home."

"I don't have your jacket, Jerry."

"Uh," Ben said, looking behind them.

"What? Oh." She sighed and got up.

Man, she hated Jerry.

*

So things had gotten a little weird back there. But no, she wasn't going to let Jerry bring down the whole night - that would be like letting the terrorists win. And hey, she was pretty buzzed, and there was pizza on the way so she was basically everyone's hero although they didn't know it yet, and so she was psyched about that, and once they were back out with the rest of the party the solution presented itself.

She jumped up and down. "Oh, let's dance!" So technically, it should be noted, she was already dancing. It happened. She wasn't asking so much as demonstrating.

Ben just watched her with a weird look on his face for a moment and, predictably, failed to move at all.

"Not much of a dancer," he said.

"Lame! Come on, it's not that hard, even for nerdy white guys."

"You know what, I'm good, I'll just - I'll watch."

Well it would be too weird staying there dancing with him when he wasn't even moving a little. She threw up her hands and turned away.

"Leslie Knope!" greeted her, and she bounced over to join Chris who, it should also be noted, was an amazing dancer. He probably, like, took professional lessons or something, she was seriously impressed.

Tom was there dancing too, and a few other people. She was tipsy enough to just enjoy herself, while sober enough to strategically keep Chris in between her and Jean Ralphio whom experience had taught her did not understand how personal space worked. The flailing was a perfect obstacle.

She also wasn't too drunk to notice that Ben... was watching like he said. Even when he started talking to April's dad, and then some other people, when she glanced over he always caught her eye before she had to duck to avoid one of Chris's outflung limbs.

Come to think of it, Ben could never have handled this, it was no place for a beginner.

*

"You ready?"

"I'm ready."

She was ready. She had a back-up slice of pizza on hand, and a handy beverage, she was all set. Super psyched.

"We'll go on three," Ben said. "One..."

"Wait, I'm not ready!"

"No, no, we have to, this is one of those things that will haunt us the rest of our lives. You'll always wonder... what if?"

"Okay, I'm ready."

"Ready?"

"Yeah, go-go-go!"

"One, two, three... go!"

They each lifted a chunk of the dense brown slab to their mouths and took a big bite.

"Urghhh," Leslie groaned.

"Aw mah - eurrgh," Ben gagged, reaching frantically for his beer.

"Hey guys!" They turned, horrified to see Chris standing there with wide, enthusiastic eyes. "I see you're enjoying the vegetable loaf. Please, I'd love to hear your feedback."

"Um." Ben's eyes were watering as he swallowed and tried to speak.

Leslie coughed, patting her chest. God, it felt like it was lodged there something good. "Well, you can really taste the -"

"Fruit reduction," Ben jumped in.

"Y-yummy. Is it - are there apples in it?"

Chris beamed. "Close! Blueberries. One of nature's super foods."

Ben shifted, clearing his throat, having trouble keeping a straight face. "What - uh, what kind of mushrooms did you use? There - it has an interesting, uh, texture."

At that she couldn't take it and burst into giggles, which she quickly tried to hide in her wine glass.

This was an awesome idea, because when she was drinking the wine she couldn't taste the spinach so much. She finished the glass far too quickly; Chris wasn't even done describing the shitakes yet.

Meanwhile neither of them had made any sign of taking another bite. Sooner or later Chris has going to realise they were standing there with half-eaten veggie loaf in their hands and expect them to enjoy more of it.

"Hey Chris, so I think that guy Orin was looking for you just a little while ago - oh see, there he is, lurking in that corner over there. With the eyes."

"Yeah, he seemed like he really wanted to get to know you better," Ben added.

"You should take him some loaf."

"I had noticed," Chris said, "and don't take this as a criticism of anybody, or anything, especially not a young man full of potential and so many great ideas and feelings. But I honestly think Orin might be in need of some nutritional advice. He seems pale."

"Yeah, he really does." Leslie nodded.

"You go advise the hell out of him, Chris," Ben said. He turned back to Leslie once Chris was across the room with a paper plateful of nutritious non-cake. "You're kind of a genius."

"Oh, no. I just really don't like that Orin kid. Not a big fan of Chris right now, either."

"Aftertaste."

"I hate my mouth right now."

*

"Okay, that's sweet." She smiled as she watched Andy and April swaying together in the middle of the room, a few other couples around them taking advantage of the slow song. April's parents were out there. "I'll be so sorry when they break up, probably in about two days." She shook her head. "I'll be right, but I'll be sorry."

"Hey, uh," shifting at her side, Ben cleared his throat. "Would you want, um, I don't know," he rubbed his forehead, "if you feel like it," he gestured vaguely, "with me?" He paused. "Wow. Sorry. Was that even a sentence?" His brows were drawn together in deep consternation. "I think I was asking if you wanted to -"

"Swim?" she offered.

"What?"

"Make chili? Go to the park? For the record, I always want to go to the park."

He was starting to smile. "...Dance?"

"Oooh. Yeah, I did not get that."

"Thanks for the mocking, that always helps."

"So, now you want to dance, huh?"

"Well, it's slow dancing, anyone can slow dance. Even a nerdy white guy."

"Hey, you admitted it. First step to recovery."

They both laughed. But it was awkward laughter.

She was stalling. Of course she wanted to dance with him. She loved dancing and he probably wouldn't even be that bad at it. But at the same time she didn't want to.

Everything was going so well, and she'd really stretched herself today - she'd just watched while April and Andy got married, and she'd eaten vegetable loaf, and she'd told Ben how she really felt about the job thing, and she'd kept it together and barely freaked out at all.

She was a lot more sober now, though, and she was remembering how 'slow dance with handsome co-worker' wasn't on any of her to-do lists in either the short or long term. Neither was 'get drunk and make out with handsome co-worker on a pile of coats' for that matter and look how narrowly she'd avoided that situation.

"So," Ben prompted.

No, it was for the best. If she just went around changing the plan at the drop of a hat, anarchy would reign.

"Um, actually, do you mind, if...?"

His face fell but he covered it quickly. "Oh, okay. That's..." He couldn't seem to come up with a word for what that was.

And seriously, what was wrong with her, it was just a dance. Now she felt like the worst person on the face of the planet. "I just, I think I need some air? I'm going to step outside for a minute." And maybe call Ann. Or hyperventilate. Both at the same time seemed really appealing right now.

*

He followed her outside before she even had a chance to start breathing funny. "Are you okay? Did I do something wrong here or -?"

"No, no," she waved a hand, "of course not, you're fine, you're perfect."

"You're... not fine," he ventured.

She looked around. Someone was starting their car across the street but other than that they were alone out here. It was funny, she thought, how there was a whole house full of people and she'd barely talked to anyone but Ben for like the last two hours.

"I don't want to ruin things," she said. "We've been having a good time, this is a really good party. This is definitely the best party I've been to in a really long time."

She stopped talking abruptly. Ben didn't say anything, though, just listened, waiting as if he knew there was more.

There was definitely more.

She could feel it all building up inside her like... something scary that involved a lot of pressure.

A volcano! That's what it was called.

"I," she started, "am never going to be that person who can get married tomorrow. Not unless tomorrow is preceded by four months of careful planning. Two if I'm really motivated and Ann does my hair and makeup. Which isn't the point. I think that there is a time and a place for taking risks, and I admire people who take them, and I know it feels really good when you do. I just think that all sides of a matter should be considered and you should be sure that it's the right risk you're taking! What is so wrong with that?"

Silence. She could literally hear crickets chirping.

It felt like a really long time before Ben spoke. "So, I have something to say."

"You do?"

"Yes. I... here's the thing, I do like Pawnee. It's a pretty great place -"

"It's the greatest."

"Right? And you know what, I want to not be moving around all the time, live like a normal person, get to know people and let them get to know me. Maybe I'll join a gym, or a soccer league or something."

"Oh my god, you play soccer? Sorry, that's probably not the point."

"It's the number one sport in the entire wor - okay focus, Leslie, because you know what I do have a point."

"I'm listening."

"The point is there are lots of good reasons why taking this job was a good choice for me. They were all on my list."

"You made a pros and cons list?" Just the thought made her suddenly feel warm all over.

"I did, and look, yes, okay, yes there was something else on that list, another really good reason to stay... But you know, I'm uh, I'm not exactly Mr Spontaneous Guy, myself. I thought it all through. I uh, I just thought you should know that."

A slow smile crossed her face. "You made a list."

"I made a list."

She nodded once. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Come on, come back inside." She took him by the wrist - not the hand, that would have been... skin would have been touching, fingers would be involved, they weren't there yet - and pulled him after her as they went back in.

The party was winding down, but there were still people standing - in some cases lying - here and there, talking and finishing off the pizza. She manoeuvred around and stepped over them, Ben trailing after her through the room.

It was the easiest thing in the world then to step into the middle of the small group of couples still making use of the makeshift dance floor, turn and put her arms up around Ben's neck. He took it in stride, smiling a small, reserved smile that seemed to tell her he was as happy to just be here with her as she was to be here with him.

There was maybe a hint of smugness to that smile, too, she noted.

Yes, she'd been in severe danger of hyperventilating possibly, and he'd talked her down pretty well, and now she was dancing with him just like he wanted - still.

"Soccer is boring and pointless. It's like the calzone of the sporting world. I just thought you should know that," she said quietly.

They continued to sway slowly to the music, turning in a lazy circle, and Ben's smile didn't budge.

"Soccer is awesome, and three billion people have my back on that. You know what else is awesome? Sci-fi movies, and pizza alternatives of all kinds."

She grinned up at him. "Really?"

"Yep, and I do know several phrases in Klingon, none of them suitable for a wedding book, though. But I'm not even ashamed of it, you know why?"

"Can't imagine."

"Because geeks are cool. And I'm here to stay, Pawnee can just deal with it."

"He's confident."

"He is."

"I'd keep the Klingon thing to yourself, maybe."

"Yeah, don't tell anyone about that, please."

She was laughing by now, and rested her forehead on his shoulder for a moment, letting herself enjoy that small thrill as he tightened his arms around her and drew her a little closer. It was late and she was tired, still a tiny bit drunk, and he was tall and his shoulder made a really good pillow, and he made a list, so she stayed right where she was.

"My middle name's Barbara," she said.

"Um, that's pretty."

"Tell me yours."

"It's Alexander."

"That's pretty, too."

She felt more than heard his answering laugh, a rumble in his chest under her cheek. She closed her eyes and they danced until the music stopped.

lots fic: the sword of something other than truth (cara/kahlan)

2010-09-03T02:30:31Z

Title: The Sword of Something Other Than Truth
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Notes: The 'something' of course refers to ‘Cara’s Squishy Feelings For Kahlan’. Just so you know. 2000 words. femslash10 fic for roniyuy.

"Ah," said Zedd, smoothing his robes over his stomach as he emerged from the tavern, "baked apples and honey." He made further appreciative noises. "And fresh cream."

Cara looked over at him without bothering to disguise her disapproval. "Have you finished eating then? Do you think we could get on with what we are supposed to be doing here?"

Zedd's answer was reproachful. "Such a task as ours requires adequate sustenance, Cara."

She rolled her eyes as he moved off amongst the small town's bustling market stalls. The wizard had been wearing down her forbearance all day. And it wasn't like she had much of it to start with. But now her only wish was to be finished as quickly as possible, and so she said nothing and trailed dutifully behind.

She soon stopped, however, as a particular stall caught her eye. The craftsman swallowed nervously as she sauntered closer, but it was the man's wares she was interested in, not his comfort. She heard Zedd call her name from somewhere down the street, but she ignored him. Let the wizard wait on her for a while, it would make a nice change.

--

It was late afternoon when the two companions returned to camp.

“How did the shopping trip go?” Richard said as they dismounted.

Zedd held up a number of items. “Leather to fix your horse’s harness, Richard, and salt and flour to fix our supper. But it’s Cara you want to talk to about purchases.”

“Oh?”

“She bought herself a sword." He leaned closer, confiding, "Never have I seen the woman so happy as Cara was perusing a table of sharp, deadly implements.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Cara said, joining the conversation with a baleful look for the wizard. “I find far more pleasure in other things, like fighting, and hunting. And bringing men to their knees," she added with a smirk, before lifted the aforementioned sword from her back. "And anyway, I didn’t buy it for myself, it’s for Kahlan.”

Kahlan rose from her seat by the fire. “It is?”

“Yes, here.” She unsheathed the blade and pushed the hilt into Kahlan’s hands, giving her no option but to take it.

“It’s a fine weapon,” Richard said appraisingly, leaning over Cara's shoulder. “Wait, how did you afford this?”

“I haggled,” Cara said. The wizard coughed. She frowned at him. “The man appreciated a good deal when he heard one. How is that my fault?”

“And it’s for me?” Kahlan said.

“Yes. You lost a knife the other day, when you threw it in that baneling’s throat? And then he fell over that cliff into the river? You were disappointed you couldn’t retrieve it. I was going to try and replace the knife but then I saw this sword instead, and, I don't know, isn't bigger always better?”

This time both the wizard and Richard coughed.

Kahlan merely said, “Well it’s very thoughtful of you, Cara, thank you.”

“You like it?”

“Of course I do.” Kahlan beamed at her.

Cara decided the sword looked, well, good. Appropriate. In Kahlan’s hands. “Well, just don’t go sticking it in anyone standing near a cliff's edge this time,” she said, and went to collect water for the horses.

--

"So how is it?" Cara manoeuvred closer to Kahlan as they fought off a band of D'Haran soldiers-turned-mercenaries.

Kahlan was currently occupied with two of them, while Cara sent another to the ground in an unmoving heap with a blow to the temple.

"Is the balance okay?" She turned to watch Kahlan, feeling a strange flush of pleasure at the sight of her gift being put to good use.

"What?" said Kahlan as she dispatched the second assailant just in time to turn and meet the blade of a third with her own.

Cara absently drove her agiel into the neck of a man struggling to regain his feet; he went back down again with an agonised groan.

Her movements efficient and decisive, Kahlan ran her opponent through, paused to flick a strand of hair from her face, then ran off to help Richard on the other side of the clearing. Cara moved to follow, feeling a smug sense of satisfaction. She'd had a really good feeling about that sword.

--

The good feeling continued. That was sort of the problem. More and more, Cara's eyes were drawn to the confessor at such moments. It wasn't that strange, though - merely a little professional interest, one warrior to another.

Like right now, she was leaning against a hay cart, watching as Kahlan and Richard ran around like a pair of children in the middle of the village square - an activity they called sparring. They seemed to be more interested in laughing and making faces at each other than they were in the fight, which seemed beside the point to her. Still, she didn't turn away in disgust. Instead, she couldn't help noting the easy confidence in Kahlan's form, the fluidity and grace of her movements.

And she couldn't help but compare the two and think that, while Richard might have had the Sword of Truth, Kahlan's sword was just, well, better. Plus there was the way Kahlan's hair tended to swoosh around her head like it had a life of its own. Richard didn't have that going for him, either.

"Is there something wrong, Cara?" The play-fighting had stopped, and Kahlan was standing before her.

Cara blinked. "You're dropping your elbow. On the upward swing? There should be more power in your grip, it'll help support the motion and give you more control. What?"

"Thanks for the tip," Kahlan said in what Cara felt was an overly sensitive manner.

"Just trying to help." It wasn't her fault she noticed these things. Besides, Kahlan had this shiny, and deadly, new toy, and Cara just wanted her to get the most out of it. And the odd looks she got from Kahlan and Richard when she told them that were really more their problem than hers.

--

Around the third time she found herself scolding Kahlan for not cleaning the blade off soon enough - in this case after using it to hack several pieces out of a gar's hide - she had to take a step back and wonder if she wasn't getting a little too invested in the matter.

Especially since Kahlan had graduated from odd looks to giving the impression she was about to start cursing like a D'Haran - not that Kahlan would ever curse like a mute monk, let alone a D'Haran. But the intent was clearly there.

Things had been so much simpler with the Mord'Sith. If another woman had a problem accepting a little constructive criticism from another, the two of them would hit each other with agiels for a while, one of them would end up cleaning the other's boots with her tongue, and that would be that. Kahlan, on the other hand, merely became testy for a while, and would at some later point want to talk about it.

--

Predictably, it happened while Cara was enjoying some peaceful private time, which she was using to polish her agiels. Kahlan found her and took a seat beside her. Cara paused, glancing over at her, and gestured with the soft cloth. "I can do your sword next, if you want."

“Cara," Kahlan said carefully, "I can't help but notice you seem a little preoccupied with this whole sword thing. I appreciate the gift, but you can have it back if you want. It seems to mean a lot to you.”

“You don’t want it?”

“No, I love it! I just thought you might -”

“Well I don’t. What would I want with a sword? An agiel is a much more efficient weapon, and far more versatile. You can torture someone as much as you want without causing too much damage, and once you grow tired of that, bring about a swift, excruciating death. What’s wrong with my agiel?”

“Don’t worry, Cara, I would never try to separate you and your agiels. I honestly can’t imagine you without one.”

Cara shrugged, feeling self-concious at the smile on Kahlan's face. “You know I could give it up if I wanted to. It’s not like it’s difficult to wave a sword around. We see twelve idiots doing it everyday. And Richard.”

“All right.”

She weighed the beloved weapon in her hand. “I could give it up. Though I will admit it would feel... strange to be without it. I find it,” she ran a finger lovingly along its length, “comforting.”

“Hmm. So it’s sort of like a security blanket.”

Cara’s frown was instant, her glare murderous. “No, it isn’t.” Kahlan got up and moved away, very much not hiding a wide smile. Cara jumped up to follow her. “Kahlan, it is not! Mord'Sith do not need security blankets! Give me my sword back!”

She didn’t make Kahlan return the sword.

She did make Kahlan swear by the Creator that an agiel was not, in any way, shape, or form, a woobie. Even if Kahlan was giving her that fond, amused look the whole time she was making the oath, it still counted.

But Cara didn’t stop thinking about the sword. Or the way it looked being wielded by an efficient, competent fighter like Kahlan. She just really liked it. The sword, that is.

--

And then Kahlan lost it. The sword, that is.

“What do you mean you lost it?”

“I just put it down for a minute! I didn’t have time to clean the blade after the battle, I had to tend to the wounded, so I just set it down over... somewhere.”

Cara stepped over a groaning villager and said, “You don’t know?”

“I thought it was by the well, but it wasn’t there when I looked. Oh, it might have been in the clearing behind the blacksmith’s - that’s where we found poor Gerald there. He’s going to be okay, by the way.”

If Gerald was the noisy man behind her, Cara was having a difficult time caring. “The clearing behind the blacksmith’s house? Where we just finished piling up the baneling corpses.”

Both women’s eyes widened in realisation just as there came a sudden WHOOMPH and they looked up to see a large cloud of smoke rising over the village rooftops from the direction of the smithy.

--

After Zedd’s wizard fire had died down, they had not found Kahlan’s sword so much as they had managed to locate a twisted lump of smouldering metal.

“Oh no!” Kahlan said.

“You know, you should really be more careful with your belongings,” Cara said testily.

Kahlan’s hands were covering her mouth in horror, her eyes travelling between Cara and the melted remains.

Cara relented with a sigh. Of course if it bothered her, it must be even worse for Kahlan. “It was a good weapon. You must be very upset,” she said, patting Kahlan’s shoulder in sympathy.

“I’m so sorry Cara,” Kahlan said, looking at her with concern. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“You must be very upset,” Cara said more pointedly this time.

“Of course I am.”

But not that upset, Cara noted. She looked away from Kahlan’s eyes, which were as usual full of honesty and good intentions and various other feelings. She was trying not to be annoyed that Kahlan wasn’t crying over her sword. Even though it was such a good sword, and very pretty, and Kahlan was lucky to have it. But the attempt failed.

Then Cara rolled her eyes and, with a surprising lack of mental angst, admitted to herself that it wasn’t really the sword that she cared so much about.

She turned back to Kahlan and put an arm around her shoulder. “We can buy you another one,” she said.

Kahlan sniffled. “All right.”

leverage fic: when a cigar is not a cigar (parker/tara)

2010-03-21T07:17:34Z

More Leverage ~~porn~~ fic, this time written for a prompt over at the kink meme. I've never written porn from Parker's pov before; it came out a little odd maybe? Idk.

When a Cigar is Not a Cigar
Parker/Tara, adult, 950 words

Parker came back from the bathroom and hopped back on the bed where Tara was lazily reclining against the headboard. She straddled her legs, settling with her ass on Tara's thighs. Neither of them had put back on any of their clothes yet, Parker because it was more convenient this way, Tara because she was apparently busy.

"It's a non-smoking room," Parker said.

"Isn't this where you live?" Tara replied, looking only mildly interested in the answer.

"Sort of. So what?"

"Don't worry, I don't smoke except after sex. And money transfers."

"So you always do this after sex? Because we're not finished yet." She frowned. "Or are we?" She hoped not, otherwise she was sitting here all naked and ready for nothing.

Tara just shrugged, and turned her hand around, holding the cigarette out for Parker. "Try it."

Parker leaned forward and sucked on it a few times, blowing the smoke back in Tara's direction. She sat back on her heels, her nose wrinkling. "I just don't get what the point is if it gives you bad breath and you don't even get high. It smells like Eliot's socks."

Tara shrugged again and finished the cigarette off herself. Parker watched, playing with herself idly, fingers circling her clit. Maybe it was symbolic, she thought. She'd learned about symbolism from Sophie, that it wasn't always about the thing itself but what the thing represented. Like Tara. Tara showing up to work with the team meant Sophie hadn't forgotten about them, that she wanted them to be okay.

Her head to one side, she considered. "It's like a teeny tiny metaphorical penis."

Tara's mouth opened. She closed it again, and reached over to drop the cigarette butt in the water glass she'd been using as an ashtray. "You're right, that's exactly what it's like."

Tara being here in bed with her meant something else. Tara sitting under her all naked and still a little sweaty from before, her hair all messed up, Tara's lips closing around the tip of a cigarette held carelessly between two fingers - almost everything came down to sex or money, or both, that was something Parker figured out ages ago, all on her own.

The last of the smoke curled up around the ceiling as Tara moved her hand between Parker's thighs. Her fingers slid past Parker's, still working her clit, and pushed up inside her. Tara's other hand moved around Parker's neck and drew her forward to kiss her, and Parker let her because she liked kissing, mostly, though there was the whole sweaty-sock-breath issue now and other things were just better, like Tara's fingers and the way they were curling inside her.

She pulled back from the kiss and spent a little time petting Tara's breasts. "Want me to go down on you again?" she asked, rocking her hips as Tara added another finger.

Tara laughed a little, raising an eyebrow. "Sure. Want me to go down on you first?"

"Okay." Like she was going to say no. She started to clamber off Tara's lap to one side. "But keep your fingers in me. And do it harder."

She lay down on her back with her head hanging off the side of the bed and brought her hands to her chest, rolling her nipples into tight little buds, pinching till it was almost painful. Tara shifted around between her splayed thighs and then the fingers slipped back into her and Tara's tongue pressed down on her clit.

She started thinking about Tara's mouth while she was getting off, her wide lips and the way she always smiled with her teeth. The way her lips closed around the cigarette. The way they were closed over her clit right now. It tasted like smoke when they kissed and it was kind of disgusting and kind of hot and she almost wanted to be kissing Tara again, but not as much as she didn't want her to stop what she was doing. Her hips pressed up into Tara's face as Tara licked her over and over and her fingers stretched her just enough. She bit her lip through it, shuddering quietly as she came.

She didn't make a lot of noise usually. Unlike Tara, who moaned a lot and said things like "oh god, fuck yes Parker yes just like that" and when she came kind of sounded like she was in one of the many, many porn videos Hardison kept stored on his computer, protected by a password he didn't think anybody knew. Some of which were pretty good, some of which were hilarious, and some of which she really didn't get at all and which no one would explain when she asked. Although Nate had yelled at Hardison for a while. And then they'd been back to hilarious again.

She raised her head from between Tara's thighs and looked up Tara's body to see her shake out her hair and run her fingers through it. "Damn," Tara said, her smile wide, "you are good at that."

"Do you watch a lot of porn?"

Tara raised an eyebrow. "Why, did you have something in mind?"

"No, it was just a question." Parker backed away from her and hopped off the bed. Before she started getting dressed, she took a cigarette from the pack on the nightstand and lit it, liking the way it tingled in her nose as she breathed out. She passed the little penis over to Tara. "Here."

Tara was sitting on the edge of the bed, hooking her panties up with her big toe, but she took it. "You don't mind?"

"We're finished now." Besides, everything already smelled like smoke.

leverage fic: gratuities (sophie/tara)

2010-03-12T06:23:53Z

Title: Gratuities
Pairing: Sophie/Tara
Rating: adult
Notes: For sabrina_il in the purimgifts exchange. 1000 words.
Summary: Every time Sophie shows up talking about favours it's the same old thing.

The dealer passes her a card, the five of hearts, and Tara nods for another hit.

She's about breaking even, playing just well enough to make it look like she's trying. She sips her drink and waits for the next hand. She's about to lose big, giving her something to commiserate over with the guy sitting two stools away. Her mark might be terrible at cards, but the point is he's good at other things, like managing information.

A commotion at a nearby craps table draws her eye momentarily, and then holds it after the fact. That laugh, that voice, all she can see is the back of the woman's head but it's all she needs.

Tara sighs, and then smiles in spite of herself. All the planning in the world, and you still never know how the cards are going to fall.

Five minutes later the empty stool beside Tara is occupied, and a loud, obnoxious woman is ordering champagne for the whole table. "I am luckee tonight, yez? 'Oo weel celebrate weeth me?"

Tara just can't help herself. "You know, I just love your accent. Can I ask where you're from?"

"Oh, 'ere and zere, all over zee place darleengk. Yez, 'ello? Anozer dreenk for mah Amereekan friend 'ere."

Tara catches a tiny smirk thrown her way, and then the newcomer starts flirting with the dealer.

Tara drinks her champagne and waits.

Twenty minutes later Sophie is trailing Tara to the ladies room, weaving slowly side to side as if drunk.

The act drops the moment the door swings shut and they're alone.

"How are you?" Sophie says.

"Little pissed off, actually."

"Oh Mr Big Spender out there, can't even play a game of bloody twenty-one to save his life? You can do better."

"I wasn't going to date him."

"Besides," Sophie continues, "I need a little favour."

"Right."

Of course.

And of course Tara already knows what's going to happen next - what always happens when Sophie shows up out of nowhere and starts talking about favours. It's never long before Tara winds up drunk and naked - sometimes just naked - and waking up the next morning in a different timezone than the one she started out in with the faint smell of French perfume lingering in the sheets.

Of course, when Sophie talks about favours she's not asking for one, she's come to collect. Any moment now she's going to say, "You owe me, remember," like Tara is going to forget any time soon.

She doesn't even bother asking what the game is. The only question that matters is, "Will you drop that stupid accent?"

"Anyteeng for you, darleengk."

"Okay," Tara concedes, six hours later, "never stolen one of these before."

"Good, isn't it?" Sophie, already relaxed, manages to relax even further into the plush seat of the luxurious private jet which has recently come under new ownership. "Let's see, four hours to Zurich, how shall we pass the time? Gin rummy?"

"If that's a reference to the wet bar, I'll take it."

"What, the whole thing?"

Tara shrugs. "Sure. I think you owe me."

There's a flash of humour, and something else, in Sophie's eyes.

Two gin and tonics later, and a little closer to actually drunk this time, Sophie presses her back into the seat with hungry kisses and a tongue licking between her teeth. Of course Tara's not exactly just letting it happen. Sophie's hands on her hip and thigh are doing it for her and when the one on her thigh travels upward she parts her knees, takes the hand, and presses it firm against the seam of her pants.

Sophie hums, a pleased little sound against her mouth as they kiss some more and her fingers tease through layers of material.

But Sophie has been leading her on in one way or another all night so Tara turns it around, tugging down the front of Sophie's dress with a complete lack of ceremony, other hand up under the skirt and between her thighs, finding panties and slipping underneath. Sophie gasps and Tara pushes up from her recline, urges Sophie down along the wide bench seat and slides her mouth from collarbone to newly-exposed nipple, leaving a wet trail and Sophie sagging, her hands weaving through Tara's hair and holding on tight.

From there it's an easy sell. Pretty skirt up around Sophie's waist, panties manoeuvred out of, and like that, spread open and shameless, Sophie pulls Tara's head down and Tara doesn't just let her, hell no, she makes her own way.

About twenty-five minutes later, give or take, Tara is discovering her underwear swimming in the melting ice bucket.

With a little snort of laughter that might have been endearing if Tara didn't know her, know what was coming next, Sophie takes her hand to pull her back down beside her.

"Come on, you look like you could use another drink," she says.

Two years after screwing each other senseless in the cabin of a stolen private jet Sophie appears, slipping between elevator doors just as they close and coming to stand by Tara with a coy smile. "Been a while," she says.

And once Sophie is in Tara's apartment, shoes off and relaxed, she starts talking about favours again.

"Don't forget, you owe me."

The words are usually heavy with innuendo, smoky bedroom eyes on high beam because Sophie is the opposite of subtle at times.

This time there's something else in Sophie's eyes and the change makes Tara wary.

"A long con?" She sits forward in her seat, interested in spite of herself.

"You could put it that way, yeah," Sophie says.

Twelve hours later Tara wakes up to empty sheets. On the pillow next to hers is a one-way ticket to Boston.

So there it is, Sophie has finally called in her marker for real. Officially, and if anyone asks, Tara's glad. For a while now she's wondered if the debt would be hanging over her head forever.

Which doesn't mean she won't miss the damn thing once it's paid in full.

leverage fic: renew (sophie/nate)

2010-03-12T06:22:48Z

Title: Renew
Pairing: Sophie/Nate
Rating: adult
Notes: For sabrina_il in the purimgifts exchange. 800 words. Set post-season two. Total PWP.

His hands under her skirt are nothing new, not any more.

His hands, restless on her thighs, travel up till thumbs hook in her knickers and drag them down. They've barely made it through the door, she doesn't even know if they've bothered to close it behind them and she doesn't care, honestly she doesn't.

Her head falls back on his shoulder as his hand slides between her legs and his fingers rub along the lips of her cunt. She's wet already, like she is almost constantly these days, or at least that's how it feels at times. Ever since they got him back and they started this.

Or, to put it another way, finished it.

But anyway it's familiar now, the way Nate's fingers push in slow, sink into her, and how his breath is hot on the side of her face as he holds her there, about ready to come on his hand when he's barely even had to work for it. The bastard. She'd always thought he had to be good at this - or, no, perhaps 'hoped' is the correct word. When his fingers begin to move, sliding out, pressing back in hard, oh yes right there, she lifts her arms over her head to clutch at his hair because her knees are weak and he's all she's got to hold onto. Then he does it again, and again.

He's hard against her ass by now. She considers it an invitation to rub back against him, and his fingers slip out of her to pass wet and lazy over her clit a few times while, she gathers, he considers his options.

She decides for him. Pulling away, she stumbles the few steps over to the side table there in the front hallway. Presses her palms flat. Tosses her hair and meets his eye in the mirror, waiting. And really she could care less about the smirk on his face so long as he's there, touching her again, soon.

And he is, hands back under her skirt, pushing it right up over her hips and her panties down past her knees. She steps out of them while he opens his trousers. He presses close, tugging at her top until it comes down off one shoulder, taking her bra strap with it. Roughly he palms her breast and she's panting now, her forehead resting on the mirror so all she can see is her own breath misting the glass. She closes her eyes and waits, waits because the waiting is so good; she's certainly done enough of it, she should know. And because Nathan Ford does nothing well if not deliver a proper finish.

His cock inside her is not a relief, frankly, nothing like it. It's too much and too little, too slow, and then he's pressing damp kisses to her shoulder and playing with her nipple like they've got bloody all day, and that's it, she can't wait any more. She shifts her weight, frees a hand to work at her clit, slick little circles, nothing fancy, moaning as it all starts to build up, sensation on top of sensation.

Nate rearranges himself too, having never been the patient type, either, really. He wraps an arm under her belly to support her, his forearm braced against the mirror over her head. He speeds up, less finesse but a little more effort in it. The table rocks against the wall with their every movement and something heavy slides off and crashes to the floor, making even more of a racket. Then, the rise of her orgasm which drops over her like a heavy cloak and she near buckles under the weight of it, becoming a shuddering, throbbing mess and it's just - nothing if not a right proper finish all round, in fact.

Smiling to herself she feels his forehead resting against the back of her neck as he bows over her, the last few jerks of his hips, hears those little sounds he makes as he finishes. He breathes her name and then he just breathes, and she waits with him, still for a moment as her heart rate slows.

Then she arches up, stretching out her back and her arms over her head. He nuzzles into her neck, kisses her flushed skin and she tilts her head to the side, letting him. This thing - them - it's not perfect, may never be if for no other reason than they are, and always will be, them. But Sophie is nothing if not practical, and if they never get anything else right, well at least there's always this to fall back on. As back-up plans go it's not bad.

leverage/firefly fic: jacaranda (parker, river gen)

2010-03-12T06:14:11Z

Title: Jacaranda
Fandom: Leverage/Firefly crossover
Pairing: Parker, River gen
Rating: teen
Notes: For sabrina_il in the purimgifts exchange. 1000 words.
Summary: Two by two, what girls can do.

Parker doesn't like it here.

She hears sounds in the hallway outside her room at night, and she pushes herself further into the corner of the bed, covers tight in her fists.

The first time they come for her, she doesn't hear a thing.

--

"What are you doing?"

Parker jumps, nearly slipping on the solar-cell roof tiling. She stares at the girl she'd swear was not right behind her five seconds ago. She recognises her, the girl's room is two doors down from Parker's. Still, she's kind of working to a schedule here, it's not really a good time for chatting or whatever.

She turns back to the edge of the roof and starts looking for the best way down. "What does it look like I'm doing?" she says. "I'm escaping."

"Oh."

Then, because it's actually a good question, she adds, "What are you doing?"

"Followed you."

"Why?"

"You were going somewhere."

She glances back at the girl who is sitting down now, her chin on her knees, just watching. Her feet are bare. Parker shrugs, turns, and steps off the roof.

Five minutes later, when she is apprehended in the branches of an enormous jacaranda tree, she looks back up at the roof but the girl is long gone.

Smart, she thinks, as she is marched back inside.

--

She never gets in trouble for the unauthorised excursions. Not the first time, or any of the times after that.

"They watch us," River tells her one morning at breakfast. "To see what we do next."

They always bring her back. Sometimes she even gets out, all the way out past the walls. Once she makes it to the spaceport the next town over. She always ends up right back where she started. But she still goes.

"Smart," River whispers.

Half the time Parker has no idea what River is saying but this time she just sips her juice and nods. "Yeah."

--

So after the explosion there was a new set of foster parents.

The new foster parents got busted for fraud.

A group home, then, where one of the kids blamed her for something that happened to a cat. She'd liked the cat. It curled up on her bed sometimes at night. When they made her pack her stuff she didn't protest; nothing to stick around for any more, anyway. She sat outside on the steps to wait, holding her suitcase on her lap. She traced the cat's name on the side of it with her finger.

Then there was another foster home.

And another one.

And after that there was the incident with the fire, but it wasn't the usual government lady who came to get her. Instead, two guys in suits.

When they asked for her name, she swung the suitcase a little and said, "Parker." And then she said, "What's with your hands?"

After that, she ended up at the Academy.

--

"I don't dance," Parker says, each time more annoyed because it's not like they can forget, the surveillance devices are always on, documenting everything anyone says or does. They freaking know she doesn't dance.

"We encourage individual expression," the instructors say, each time sounding more like a threat.

The thing is, Parker actually enjoys a lot of it, like the gymnastics, the high ropes and obstacle courses, the covert tactics. Sometimes even Chemistry gets interesting. But dancing? Like she doesn't have enough reasons to get out of here. Jeez.

--

She tells herself sometimes it'll be okay, it'll be okay, she'll be okay. She's not like those other kids, the broken ones. There's less of her to break.

--

All of the kids have something. Going places she's not allowed is Parker's. River has something else altogether, the best at everything. But dancing is the only time she seems to like it.

She spins in circles around Parker, weaving in and out of the other kids in the corridor. They're supposed to be going to lunch.

She grabs Parker's hand. "Come on!"

"No," Parker says, "no, I don't - do that."

But Parker is already being spun and they whirl together until they crash into a wall and end up on the floor in a heap.

She spits out a mouthful of River's hair. River smiles at her before jumping up and twirling away. Parker doesn't dance, but sometimes when she was little she'd hold her breath until sparkles spun in front of her eyes, and it felt just like this.

--

Parker worries about River sometimes, but she's not so good at this friend thing, and she worries about herself more.

You'll get out, River says to her.

They're sitting on the edge of the pool, waiting their turn to dive. River isn't even looking at her. Her lips aren't moving. But Parker can hear her all the same and it's weird, but really, not even close to the freakiest thing she's experienced in this place by far, so whatever.

River's voice whispers through her mind. All the way, out into the black.

Of course she'll get out. Nothing in Parker's life has ever lasted, and this place isn't going to be the exception. It won't. It can't.

What about you? she thinks really loud, and assumes River can hear.

There's water on River's face, but then, they have been swimming.

He hasn't come, she says.

--

They get inside. They work the locks and get in and mess stuff up, take things that don't belong to them.

One night she makes it out to the road past the outer wall and when they come to bring her back she screams and kicks and fights just like they taught her. It doesn't make any difference

--

One day River is gone.

A week after that, the Academy's main Monitoring and Security building explodes spectacularly, lighting up the night sky, but Parker isn't there to see it. There's nothing to stick around for any more.

Besides, she's too busy running.

And she'll keep running until she can't feel them watching her any more.

legend of the seeker VERY SPECIAL PRINCESS EPISODE

2010-02-28T07:50:02Z

This episode is GOLD and I've only watched the first five minutes. Hee, Cara fails at cooking, but is VERY GOOD AT CHOPPING THINGS SO SHUT UP ZEDD. Hee, Zedd.

AHAHAHA Cara is like 'Oh man CAN'T WE JUST DIG THE FRICKIN' TUNNEL? I CAN'T DEAL WHAT IS THIS PRINCESS SHIT IDEK'

P.S. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS CARA'S MASCULINE SUPERIOR TRUFAX

HEEEEEE CARA'S TORTURE POETRY A+++

Secret note to swatkat24: THE APHRODISIAC LIVER OF A FEROCIOUS BEAST. For Mord'Sith that is third base, I'm guessing.

ALSO HOW IS SHE SO AMAZING CARA OMG

(Could have done without that one long fat joke that was Richard's subplot. Because naturally women who are not skinny don't deserve sex or boys they like or, you know, respect. WAY TO BRING DOWN EPIC PRINCESS EPISODE OF EPICNESS SHOW.)

And then we have Kahlan coming to Cara's rescue! Cara watching Kahlan's back! KAHLAN TEASING CARA ABOUT HER PRETTY PRETTY DRESS. GUYS I DIED OF CUTE.

In conclusion I have this v. important note.

Dear Cara,

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I also thought your poems were very good.

Love, me.

Still no LotS icons. *fails*

ijemanja @ 2010-02-24T03:24:00

2010-02-23T17:24:41Z

I really hate the word 'thrust'.

(Why yes it's past three am and I'm writing porn.)

Seriously though. Hate.

Eta: also stupid euphemisms for female body parts but that goes without saying.

leverage 2.15 maltese falcon job

2010-02-18T16:33:12Z

Season finale you guys!

First I have something very important to say:

OMG SOPHIE

Did you see Sophie? DID YOU? EEEEEEEEEEE!

I kind of wish I hadn't seen those promo pics because as soon as I saw the coat in the background I knew it was her. And I flailed. I FLAILED HARD. And she was doing Annie Croix! London mobster Sophie is THE GREATEST THING EVER. And the way she just came in and took care of everything and saved the day because Nate was about to GET SHOT IN THE FACE and she knew he was going to lose it all along and arranged everything with Tara in case the team needed help and "Took you long enough"!! AND PARKER HUGGED HER AWWWWW. And OH BY THE WAY MAKEOUTS WITH NATE THAT WAS AWESOME. (There is seriously just not enough making out on this show. Everyone should make out with everyone else ALL THE TIME.) And it was adorable and Sophie slapped him because Nate has been kind of a dick lately and then finally he gets over himself enough to express himself, just in time to offer himself up to freaking Sterling whilst gutshot! SOPHIE HONEY I WOULD HAVE SMACKED HIM TOO.

ALSO YOU GUYS THERE WAS THE PART WHERE SOPHIE WAS AMAZING THE END. ♥♥♥

Heee but other stuff too:

- Nate/Sterling/Elevator lololol that was brilliant

- Parker/Tara/loooong metal coffin and the fact that Parker was SMILING just thinking about it heee.

- Hee, Hardison menacing the mayor, and also the whole bathtub thing.

- TARA/TOWEL. And Parker and Eliot's faces. Heeee.

- Whoa, Parker and Tara and the whole roof-dangling incident. I had absolutely no trouble believing Parker was going to do it. Damn. That was awesome. And the conversation in the car afterward. ♥♥ THIS SHOW YOU GUYS IT LOVES ME SO MUCH.

- Tara/Sophie, who are apparently 'even' now. I will never not want to know what that is about.

- Holy crap Nate got shot AGAIN. That's his third time now in canon, jeez.

- Parker/Hardison/Eliot and their little faces when Nate is ordering them to get on the helicopter.

- Nate, at the very end, laughing at himself, and at Sterling, and the world: I am Nathan Ford, and I'm a thief. AWWWWWW YOU GUYS HE LOVES HIS TEEEEAAAAM. He admitted they're his family! Last time this was addressed, he was all 'this is NOT A FAMILY'. Aww. :)

- MY TEAM. IT WAS BACK TOGETHER FOR ALL OF FIVE SECONDS. AND THEN NATE HANDCUFFED HIMSELF TO A SHIPPING VESSEL. Sigh. I desperately now want the fic where A) Sophie, Parker, Hardison and Eliot have an angsty consolation orgy, B) the team steals Nate from federal custody, C) Sophie is awesome all over the place, or possibly D) ALL OF THE ABOVE AT THE SAME TIME.

In conclusion, and because I'm not sure if I have adequately covered my feelings on the subject: SOPHIE CAME BACK AND SHE WAS GLORIOUS. A++ EPISODE WOULD SQUEE AGAIN.

pupdate (hee)

2010-02-16T10:36:40Z

Um, okay so having spent every free second in the past week watching Legend of the Seeker, I am all caught up and OH MY GOD MUST READ ALL KARA/KAHLAN FIC IN EXISTENCE. Recs plz?

I actually, technically, did write something for halfamoon, which would be commentfic at the girls-in-drag mini-promptathon thing over here. Which, for the record, is here. I wrote Gwen/Morgana (and wtf I'm writing Merlin now?).

These are from bath time last weekend.

During bath:

Very wet and not liking it.

It's so hard maintaining one's dignity when standing around shampooed within an inch of one's life.

After bath:

Mah head floofs, let me show you it. (Heeeee)

*is the prettiest*

Warning spoilers for future Legend of the Seeker eps in comments!