I Have Fallen

ihavefallen — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 07:06:14 GMT

I now remember why I cannot do naps. I always wake up feeling like shit and dehydrated. I am not sure if the heater was on, but I just hate waking up feeling like I was sleeping on the sun or something. I am sore and tired due to playing volleyball yesterday. A bunch of us decided to actually go to the gym, I am probably the one who goes the least. We originally wanted to play basketball, but all the courts were filled. So we decided to do volleyball since one court was open for that and no one was on it. After about 10 minutes we had a few people join us who are on the intramural volleyball teams. At first I felt odd, but they were fine with us. It has been years since I have played volleyball and most of it all came back. My arms were red from bumping the ball so much when the guys came to play. Two of us, me included were playing with all guys. It was nice to play with them though, several times they were very positive and encouraging to me.

ihavefallen — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 04:54:55 GMT

Today I have not felt as tired as I have been the last four weeks. Not sure if it is because I slept most of the weekend or something else. I am still waiting for the doctor's office to call me with the blood test results. I still believe that I will not hear until Wednesday, since I have a feeling the one test was not done on Thursday. I just want to know what is causing me to feel so tired and how to fix it.

I was watching News Hour with Jim Lehrer tonight and Anne Taylor Fleming did the last news story about if America is ready for a female president and if women are the reason why so few women hold offices. I cannot remember most of what she said, but it was interesting. I believe you might be able to find an audio link to it on The News Hour with Jim Lehrer website. For course only if you find that kind of thing interesting. I guess it was brought up due to Hillary Clinton's possible run for president the next election.

PBS has a special on tonight-on Marie Antoinette and it is very interesting. I know very little about her and her family. I never really studied French or Austrian history so much of what they mention is new to me, but very interesting. The historians (mostly women) who are talking have these beautiful French accents that just roll off their tongues. Makes one wish they could speak that way. They are showing some beautiful images of the Palace of Versailles and it makes me wish that when I was in Paris that I visit it. I choose to see Monet's Giverny. I love elaborate castles and royal apartments; I could spend hours looking at images or daydreaming about being in them. I believe this was probably done because of the movie with Kirsten Dunst that is coming out soon and probably wants to give the real story, rather than Hollywood’s water down version. However, from what I haven of the previews and what this special talks about the movie seems right on.

I am not sure how you could get this story wrong, but we all know that even the most well known historical events get changed by writers who think the average person could careless about historically accuracy and being entertained only. I hate to say that I am not one of those people and I feel almost insulted that they think I can be fooled by special effects and big names to see movies or love them. I like things to be accurate and not give me false information unless the movie is a piece of fiction, a writer's complete original idea, if even such an idea exists in this world of remakes, taken from books, comics or TV shows, prequels and sequels. For once, I want someone to inspire my mind and make me be able to see with my own eyes places and events that I would have never been able to because of when I was born. Sometimes I get tired of only know about events by reading, I want to be able to see it with my own eyes, as if I am involved in those events. I know not only want it looks like, but also what it feels like.

I got an e-mail tonight with the schedule for my soccer team's games. One problem, the first game is this Sunday and we have not practice or met up with each other at all. No one has offered any kind of practice schedule so I am not sure how the first game is going to go. Also, I have not turned in my forms to the team rep yet because I just got the e-mail on Friday. I have it done I just need to mail it and see what I am told. I also do not have the shirt as I am suppose to or any equipment at all.

ihavefallen — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 15:55:49 GMT

Boy, my dream this morning was just... odd for a lack of better word. Shows that watching on TV does play an effect in your dreams, which I do not normally experiance. The first part was that I was working at some kind of childern's clinic, with House of all people. There was some kind of doll we used that the child would hug and it would be able to tell us what, if anything, was wrong with the child. Well, both of us were standing there listening and the doll spoke in this, innocent voice something about sex. I cannot remember what exactly it said. It was very faint sounding and I could see House bending over trying to make sure he heard right. Then these people come in and tell us we are being shut down, due to being investigated for sexual things going on with the childern.

Then the dream switches to a completely different dream. I am somewhere and I am asked sing with who I can identify as Delana from Rockstar:Supernova. I remeber thinking that I cannot possibly sing, I get out of tune and all of that. Well then I find myself with my flute having to play those horrible high notes that till this day I cannot remember the fingering to.

Yeah talk about some strange dreams that had people from the show I was watching last night in them. What is even odder is that both Tommy Lee and Hugh Laurie were on Ellen yesterday. So something is up with those two shows and my inner thoughts. I guess I could look up their meanings, but they are just odd dreams and nothing that speaks to me really. I know that I am not really going to do anything to get into trouble with childern and sexual things. Come on now remember that dreaming about sex does not mean you want to have sex. Basic pyschology people, read for pete's sake. Though I can honestly say that I am being amused by my dreams lately.

I kind of hate it, when I talk to someone, normally a guy, when they ask me how long it has been since I have dated or been in the relationship, they give me aw as a response. Yes, I guess it is sad that it has been about 2 years since either, but do you see me wollowing in self-pity or being needy? Well you better not because I am not like that. In all honestly I really did not need to be in a relationship those last two year, I needed the time to fix myself and my problems. Being in relationships help put me into the destructive path I was taking. So I am not at all sorry that I was not dating. Maybe for not going out with friends or something I could say that I needed that, but not with dating. Hell, maybe if I did meet someone during that time they could of help me, but that would be horrible.

How did this all come out? Well I was chatting last night with a guy who contacted me on yahoo personals (yeah I know it sucks, but so do all the other ones).I have not talked with him much, but it is nice to talk with someone I do not know already. I think I swore off meeting guys from the net after the disaster with Chris, but I cannot remember. Plus, I am on this giving things a second look and not being so judgemental personality. Relooking at things I thought about only in on way and realized that I could miss something important or miss out on something. Which reminds me I need to cancle my account with True.com. Not only am I not satified with it, I am paying for it. I can honestly tell you that I have guys contacting me who should not be or just have not read what I marked on there. When I say I do not want to date someone who has a kid I mean it. Even worse when the guy sends you an e-mail about how they do not date because of women leaving once his daughter got attacthed. Hello, good reason why I put does not have kids as a requirement. I am not going to be a second mom to a child, I am not ready to play the role for anyone. Any of this sound like a good reason why I have always disliked my brother and stacy being together?

Know what, my thinking in all of this guy stuff is that I am planning on moving out of state and I reall do not need to get attached to anyone while living here. If I do I can see myself rethinking the move and I really do not want to be in that situation. It is easier to wait until I have move and I have less to worry about because I would plan to stay there for at least 4 years if not more. All depends where I go. Plus the guys I have been talking to all seem to want to stay in Arizona.

I need to call Massage Envy to set up an appointment to use that gift certificate that I got from Christmas. After my run on Monday my back has been hurting like it use to.I think it is due to poor posture while running. Only way I can explain it. Maybe this will help me out and need to have done more often. Might be good since I am waiting to hear when an indoor soccer team starts. Not sure when that will be, but do I need to get my ass in shape. It is mostly my lungs that need it. My legs will carry me just find, my lungs want to quite within five minutes after starting.

Math is going ok for right now, despite the low scores, I feel like I am getting everything, but cannot show that on the homework we turn in and the tests. I guess we will get another homework assignment to turn in and that will tell me if I am doing on still, or just in denial. In which case I need to go to Dr. Panye's office and see if he can help me. I have to start seeing my professors when I notice trouble. I have yet to do that except to talk to them when I needed their signature to drop classes for the spring of 2003 while at UA.

ihavefallen — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 05:30:13 GMT

Quick entry since I have little to say.

1) Passed my math class with a high B
2) Got a raise so now I make 9.12 an hour
3) I have a summers cold and it's driving me nuts. I cannot sleep well at all.
4) That's it goodbye

ihavefallen — Sun, 14 May 2006 19:28:43 GMT

I got back my grades for this last semester. I got an A in astronomy lab a B in lecture, C in english, an A in yoga, and a D in math. I am a little disappointed that I did not pass math, but I am sure that I can pass it again. I am going to take it again this summer and since I'e already taken it once I am sure I can pass it this time. My GPA is now a 2.207, but If I manage to keep a B average I will have my 3.5 GPA that I want to be able to transfer.

This is Fucked Up

ihavefallen — Fri, 12 May 2006 21:28:09 GMT

http://www.examiner.com/a-105645~DNA_Test_Confirms_Hybrid_Bear_in_the_Wild.html

ihavefallen — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 02:59:22 GMT

Today was a pretty good day. My meeting was actually an hour long with an hour wait to do my quater review,which is always the same. I haven't been there long and I will do well with the more hours I work. My animal handling cert will be in June. Stacy dropped a bomb on us. She told us that she has to resign because her husband got promoted and he's going to be away a lot more and Stacy will have to stay home with her kids now. It's sad to know this, but I hope whoever taker over her position will be great. Stacy will be invovled with the hiring so I don't feel so bad about it.

After my review I decided to go see the knew baby and a few other places. I got a quick glimps of the baby. There was a crowd of people, but the mother was on top of the exhibit and I could see the baby from where I saw standing. She looks cute from what I can tell. I will be working again so I will see if there are less people in the way. I think walked over to Monkey Village. I didn't go in since it looked like there was a line to get in, but I could see a few of the squirrel monkyes from the outside. They are cute to watch. Then I went to where the speckle bears were. I couldn't see them that well, plus the zoo was crowded as it was.

I was suppose to drive to CTK to meet my mom and leave my car, but the freeway was closed and it would of taken me longer to get there so I drove nearby to General Dynamics where my dad works on the weekdays to leave me car and meet me mom. She came a few minutes after I got there to go to Kevin and Mindee's house for Hollie's birthday party. Hollie is so cute. Poor thing can't open her own presents though. Her older cousin Linsey help. That child is loud and annoying to be honest. I got to visit with my aunt, uncle, Kevin, Mindee and Mindee's aunt. The rest of the people where on Mindee's side of the family that I see occasionally.

Friends Only

ihavefallen — Sun, 05 Dec 2004 20:47:01 GMT

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~*~Fallen~*~