spiral bones of a supernova starlight

• Scrapbook 2014 •

igrab — Mon, 10 Feb 2014 19:00:28 GMT

❝ defaults ❞

❝ names ❞
➵ she walks in starlight
❝I Believe You❞

❝ titles ❞
spiral bones of a supernova starlight | she dreamed of a way to ignite

❝ layouts ❞

❝ desktops ❞

❝ important posts ❞
blog scarves • why tauriel is important • angry feminist rant • the mockingjay: re-imagined • sabriel fic needs • winchester cleanup crew headcanon

❝ songs ❞
Angel With a Shotgun | The Cab
Carousel | Vanessa Carlton
Laura Palmer | Bastille
Let it Go | Frozen
Lions! | LIGHTS

❝ books ❞
currently reading →
Red Dragon | Thomas Harris
The Fellowship of the Ring | J.R.R. Tolkien
Mark of Athena | Rick Riordan

on the shelf →
Curtsies & Conspiracies | Gail Carriger
House of Hades | Rick Riordan
Omega Games | S.L. Viehl
The Demon's Surrender | Sarah Rees Brennan
The Shadow Dragons | James A. Owen
Untold | Sarah Rees Brennan
A Hero For WondLa | Tony DiTerlizzi
The Red Pyramid | Rick Riordan
Shift | Andrea Speed
Mastiff | Tamora Pierce

incomplete →
Absolute Midnight | Clive Barker
Clockwork Princess | Cassandra Clare
Dragon Soul | Jaida Jones and Danielle Bennett
Soldiers of Halla | D.J. MacHale
Black Powder War | Naomi Novik
The Book of Jhereg | Steven Brust
Traitor to the Blood | Barb and J.C. Hendee
The Fall of the Kings | Ellen Kushner

completed 2014 →
Why Does He Do That? | Lundy Bancroft
Before I Go To Sleep | S.J. Watson

incoming 2014 →
Ball & Chain | Abigail Roux
Shards of Time | Lynn Flewelling
Waistcoats & Weaponry | Gail Carriger

❝ movies ❞
in theaters →
The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug • 300: Rise of an Empire

newly discovered →
Frozen • Thor: The Dark World

rewatches →
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey [1] • Tangled [1] • Brave [1] • Frozen [3] • Kiss Kiss Bang Bang [1]

incoming →

❝ tv shows ❞
currently watching live →
Supernatural • Grimm • Hannibal • The Voice • Vikings

current marathons →
Teen Wolf • Elementary • Pushing Daisies • Star Trek: Deep Space 9 • Xena: Warrior Princess

to watch →
Once Upon a Time

incomplete →
Sleepy Hollow • Almost Human • Breakout Kings • White Collar • Burn Notice • Covert Affairs • Beauty and the Beast • Once Upon a Time • Spartacus: Blood and Sand • Revenge • American Horror Story • Robin Hood • Bones

completed/caught up 2014 →
Sherlock • Futurama

❝ video games ❞
currently playing →
Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood • Final Fantasy III • Okami

completed 2014 →

❝ original writing ❞
Jumping v3 → 3k/??
Cu Sith story *rarr; 3.7k/15-20k

← Scrapbook 2012 there is no 2013. 2013 did not exist.

some blog scarves

igrab — Tue, 04 Feb 2014 18:17:27 GMT

SO i like blog scarves, and for my tumblr i ended up shortening some ones i liked and i rly like the lil short ones so anyway here have some scarves

asexual

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pansexual

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trans*

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fabulous

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hobbit

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dwarf

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sindar

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silvan

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camp half-blood

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camp jupiter

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READABOUT: what do you like in a story?

igrab — Fri, 27 Jul 2012 18:55:48 GMT

Hi and welcome to ReadAbout, a poll for readers of fiction of any kind.

I realize that, for a lot of these, it all depends on how well it's done - but think about your favorite books, the ones you keep coming back to again and again and again, the type of stories/characters that you look for every time you pick up a book. If there's check boxes, please try to only select two or three options. And if you have any questions, comments, or want to elaborate on any of your answers, please leave a comment!! I would love in-depth reasoning behind any of the choices, or even just spaztic "yes, this!"

Also, if you have friends who read, please post a link in your journal/on any relevant communities.

View Poll: ReadAbout

100 Myths • 01| Cadmus and the Sown Men

igrab — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 16:50:22 GMT

(I know I was going to do Hades and Persephone, but I've been reading up on the Cadmus myth so much lately that it's monopolized my brain. So here.)

Once upon a time, an unsuspecting lad by the Cadmus was sent out to search for his sister, with an admonition from his father not to return until he had. (Being that his brothers had received the same message, this was awkward and unfair, as they only had the one sister.)

But Cadmus was the smart one, and after some questionable marriage detours and general frolicking about, he took himself off to Delphi to have a chat with the Oracle there.

But Oracles, especially the Oracle at Delphi, have a funny way of going 'Oh, sorry, what did you ask? No, screw that. Your entire life story is about to change. Follow this cow.'

No, really.

The Oracle told him to follow a cow.

More specifically, she told him to follow a cow, and when it finally stopped to rest, that would be where he would found his city. (Sister? What sister? No, forget her. Zeus made off with her in full-on steer seduction mode, you really don't want to know what went down.)

As promised, there was a cow, and Cadmus followed the cow, over hill and dale until it grew tired and had a lie-down, just as predicted.

So, here is where I should found a great city, Cadmus thought.

Because Cadmus was the smart one, and probably a distant ancestor of Good Guy Greg, he decided to sacrifice the cow to Athena, for the wisdom and strength he would need. He sent his men (every hero has ambiguous men following him around) to a nearby spring to fetch water for the sacrifice, and he sat down and leaned against the tired sow and contemplated what the hell he'd gotten himself into.

An hour passed.

And then another.

Okay, really, the spring wasn't that far away.

Cadmus was the smart one, so he made sure to bring his sword on his way to the spring to see just what the hell had happened to his long-time ~~peons~~ buddies.

Now, this is the greatest part of the Cadmus myth. You might've heard it as The Founding of Thebes, Cadmus and the Dragon's Teeth, Cadmus and the Sown Men. In every rendition, this part of the story goes the same way. "So then Cadmus killed the dragon, and - "

WOAH

BACK THE FUCK UP A SECOND

So then Cadmus killed the dragon.

NO BIG DEAL, GUYS, NOTHING TO SEE HERE. THIS MOTHERFUCKING DRAGON JUST KILLED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY BIG BRAVE MUSCLEY COHORTS AND I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING A GODDAMN COW FOR MILES AND I MISS MY SISTER AND WILL PROBABLY NEVER BE ALLOWED HOME, BUT -

Oh fuck is that a dragon? FUCK THAT. DEATH. DEATH BE UPON YE, DRAGON.

Like, shit. Whole entire myths are built around the actual process of slaying a dragon. Cadmus? FUCK NO. He killed that shit so fast it wasn't even memorable.

The sheer size of his balls (clearly visible from outer space/Olympus) sent Athena popping down to say hi, sup, what now, big damn hero?

And you know what he was worried about?

"Uh, I can't build a city on my own."

Excuse me, you just slayed a motherfucking dragon. I'm pretty sure you can do anything. But Athena told him to sow the dragon's teeth into the ground, and he did so, because when a god tells you to do something you damn well do it, unless it's Zeus because let me assure you, you don't know where that thing has been.

He sowed the dragon's teeth into the ground, watered them with the blood of a hundred baby dragons (...okay not really), and waited. Suddenly, from each of the planted teeth, a goddamn warrior appeared, bursting out of the ground and armed to the teeth (ha) and looking every bit as vicious and bloodthirsty and cripplingly badass as the dragon they had spawned from.

Cadmus went to go hide in a ditch, because he was the smart one, and smart men who killed dragons knew when discretion was the better part of valor. He found a stone, aimed carefully, and chucked it - right in the center of all those dragon-born fighting machines. They fell upon each other like desperate starving beasts.

Cadmus waited until there were only five left - five of the fiercest, most cunning, bravest, most stubborn, and smartest warriors he'd ever seen. He stepped among them and quelled their anger with the sheer force of his enormous cojones, recruited them to his cause, and with their help he founded the city of Thebes.

Because one epically badass man wasn't enough, but six? Oh, definitely.

And the jury's still out on whether he actually ever did sacrifice that cow.

100 Feelings Books Gave Me • 02| we can always cut and run

igrab — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:04:28 GMT

So like, I've mentioned this mythical Cut and Run series a few times, but always glossed over it because I wanted to make a big giant post about how awesome it is and just a throwaway wouldn't do it justice.

But whatever, I have a hundred feelings to get down, so let's talk about one particular aspect of these books.

It was 4am, I was supposed to be up early the next day, but where was I? Curled up in the corner of the couch with Jezzi's kindle pressed to my face, tiny little reading light the only source of illumination, my hands and heart shaking as I devoured word after word, sentence after sentence, paragraph after paragraph. If it had at that moment been a choice of putting the book down or death - I would choose death.

Now see, I like a good murder mystery, but less for the 'woo scary' aspect than the psychological motives and pieces inherent in it. I'm really not a fan of horror movies, of titillating fear - in my opinion, the scariest things are concepts, not sounds and noises and gore. So maybe someone else would not find these particular murders interesting. Maybe. But I was absolutely bone-chilled. Reasons being:

01 - Sane killer. Sane killers scare the everloving out of me, because at least insanity is predictably unpredictable. Mental imbalance is recognizable and oddly understandable, as it's both easier to stomach the idea of a mentally unhinged person to be more capable of killing, but also because it makes it easier to predict what they'll do next. But a sane killer? A smart killer? Someone who has a specific goal but fuck knows what it is because what sane person would do this? Why? Fuck.

02 - The excellently written, palpable aura of 'anything can happen' that permeates the story. The main characters take a serious beating, including and right up to the very end, until you actually find your jaw hitting the floor because 'oh my god this killer is one step ahead of them and they just keep getting hurt worse and worse and oh my god'

03 - Inside job. Inside jobs are always terrifying because who the fuck do you trust? I feel like the only reason the two mains are able to trust each other is because they're fucking. Which, you know, that aspect of their relationship is important and integral to the plot, which I love, but that's not the topic of discussion, so anyway.

04 - Obscure references that are actually obscure. I consider myself an avid reader, a learned person, a literary person, and yet it took me well over half the book AND a hint from a friend to see the pattern. Which... was right about when the characters did. Shit. It was excellently and brilliantly subtle, which made it all the more effing creepy.

05 - Let me set the scene. Agent A and Agent B have chosen to trust the one person they absolutely shouldn't trust, of course. They've been in a bad car accident so Agent A has an arm in a sling and a bottle of painkillers, which he's been resisting taking because he has substance abuse problems, but he hurts like fuck so he takes them. Agent B is agoraphobic. Agent B gets bricked into a wall while A thinks he's safe with the killer. Agent A finds two dead bodies of comrades and finally realizes who the fuck is behind this shit - and who he let his partner go with, his partner that he's basically in love with. So we've got Agent A drugged out of his mind, injured everywhere, surrounded by dead bodies, with his partner bricked into a wall. There's a machine jamming cell phone signals and there's no way he can make it across the room, let alone drive.

This is the point where I was at 4am. Terrified. Absolutely bloody terrified. It's like - you know the good guys are gonna win in a deep seated sort of way, but a: you don't know if that includes making it out alive and b: HOW THE FUCK WILL IT HAPPEN. HOW. HOW IS EVERYONE NOT ALREADY DEAD.

I basically stopped breathing. That's a thing I do when I'm reading sometimes, which is Not Good, but I can't help it, I just get full of FEELS and it's way more suspenseful than a supposedly 'suspenseful' movie.

06 - And I'm not going to tell you how it ends, either. Suffice to say I stared at the wall dragging in shaky gulpfuls of air because MY MIND WAS BLOWN OUT OF MY HEAD. I suppose you'll have to read it yourself.

Cut and Run by Madeleine Urban and Abigail Roux, people. Read it for the bone-chilling murders, stay for the gay porn. Wait... maybe that's the other way around.

100 Feelings Books Gave Me • 01| The Balcony Scene

igrab — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:59:49 GMT

Things you need to know, first off:

→ Percy Jackson and the Olympians is My Life. I've never had an OTP before Percy and Nico took permanent residence in my brain and now I've written so much for them that my name is practically synonymous with the pairing. I cannot love them more.

→ I frequently make references to 'The Balcony Scene', and probably most PJO fans who are not crazy think that I am. (Which is very true! But I have a method behind my madness.) So let's talk about this mythical Balcony Scene.

Okay, so it's not actually a balcony. It's a fire escape, and there's two demigods on it - two boys who, in the past two books, have had a surprisingly tumultuous and complicated relationship for a kids' series.

Nico and Bianca, in the category of neglected children, are very close. Nico especially clings to his older sister... and she dies in the process of saving Percy's life. Nico blames Percy. Percy refuses to take offense, believing strongly in the goodness of Nico's heart. Nico takes him to the Underworld; Hades throws Percy in jail, Percy is furious and thinks he's been betrayed, Nico breaks him out and swears he didn't know and he just wanted to help. Percy calls him 'zombie dude' and everything's okay.

So it's Percy's birthday, and he goes out onto his fire escape, and suddenly, Nico appears. They talk about plot-related things, because Nico does this thing where he basically goes behind the scenes to orchestrate saving the world while Percy is the hero in the spotlight. So he's talking about what they need to do, very serious and businesslike, when... Nico looks over and sees a piece of blue birthday cake that Percy had brought in. To his bedroom. From the party outside.

"Is that blue birthday cake?"

He literally stops mid-sentence, I believe even mid-word when he sees that cake. It's - somewhere under all these walls Nico has put up, he's still this deprived child who lost a mother and sister and kind of a father, too, since Hades basically used him to get at Percy. His childhood was ripped away from him and he'll never really grow past that, but there's this piece of cake, and the world is ending but at his heart he's this lost little boy begging for something normal.

And Percy sees that in him, and he invites him inside. Says, essentially, come into my life and let me give you the love and reassurance you need, and then we can talk about saving the world. He's putting Nico before the world, and Nico is putting Percy before the world, and it's one of the simplest expressions of kindness I've ever read.

The first time I read it, though, I didn't quite read all this into it. I think I was still sobbing my eyes out over Calypso's plant and Poseidon picking favorites and the whole happy Jackson family birthday party thing. But after. When I went back to it. When I basically converted myself to shipping Percy/Nico with a hypothetical 'what if' fic. Then I realized how important and monumental this scene was, and I also realized, with a squeak of fangirly glee, that FIRE ESCAPE IS CLOSE ENOUGH TO A BALCONY RIGHT? Because any pairing that has a balcony scene, especially with flowers? LEGIT.

I have feelings about that scene. They are totally legit analytical feelings and have nothing to do at all with the fact that this is the first physical description of Nico's sexy new appearance, including his HAIR BEING LONG, which most people seem to forget about. Collarbone, people. It's grown out to his collarbone, and I choose to believe he hasn't cut it since, so it's quite long by the time he dons his toga.

100 Myths (as told by igrab)

igrab — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:05:43 GMT

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}

Warning: These will not be entirely factual (though really, that word and mythology have some serious bad chemistry going on) but, rather, told in a humorous and/or meaningful way. I'm telling the myths as I see them; as I interpret the spirit of them. And, occasionally, the 'trololol subtext' interpretation. Just so you know.

100 Myths (as told by igrab)

01| Cadmus and the Sown Men
02| ?

100 Feelings Books Gave Me

igrab — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 15:47:21 GMT

{Take the 100 Things challenge!}

saw this from etacanis and I'm so doing it. Going to use this post as an archival/planning post, and there will also be the tag!

So, you (should) know by now that I have a tag calls 'books give me too many feelings' - and while a lot of time I express those feelings as A:SLKJF, I am really going to take this blogging challenge as an opportunity to expand on said feelings and get into why I have these reactions to books and how the movement of fictional characters in prose is so wonderful. So.

In addition, these posts will be public for now, possibly locked at a later date but until then, feel free to share them.

100 Feelings Books Gave Me

01| The Balcony Scene
02| we can always cut and run
03| The Ivory Tower
04| Bloodlines

icon is relevant, you'll see.

igrab — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 15:51:08 GMT

okay, my dream last night was weird enough (yes, by my standards) that i need to lay it out.

part one - i was alexia and i was pregnant a second time. in the dream was 100% certain i'd dreamed through the first birth - not the one in the book, the one in my head, which had something to do with alexia and conall kissing in the shower (it was modern day for no reason, yes) and then, birthing! but there wasn't any pain, just weirdness and exhaustion and this second time it was a boy? but for some reason, i'd had the girl in february? I DON'T. KNOW. but the babies carried over into the next parts of the dream, though conall didn't, for some reason. (which sucks because conall is awesome)

part two - then i was in a hotel. i've actually dreamed in this hotel several times before, especially recently. there are these enormous glass walkways and you have to walk through these big baths to get to the rooms, which, idek, but anyway this time i was staying on the second floor, and our group had two rooms, though i'm not entirely sure -

wait, where was the plane dream? maybe the plane dream was second. or first. i don't remember. anyway there was something about being on a plane, with some people, and i may or may not have had the babies, so idk.

anyway, i think by this point the babies had turned into kittens. wait. no, there was something else. right!

the latin lesson! i started taking a latin class (latin language) with elise and some... guy i knew in the dream, idk. anyway, the professor was this weird old man who was very passionate about the romans, so i liked him immediately, but like... okay the classroom changed to be this huge gym and there were people literally in a huge circle all around this center board thing that had words on it? and he was going around and asking us why we wanted to take the class, or where we were from, or something, and all i remember is that i basically said i was taking latin because i wanted to, and he gave me this suspicious look. and then i got called out to read something aloud, and while it started off fine, it suddenly transformed into music? like. i don't know how to explain. but then the professor got furious at me? he was like, you can read ancient egyptian? and i was like 'uh. i have no idea i was just reading what was there.' and i guess i had some sort of magical power. and then after the class, while i was waiting around to apologize to the professor for... being magical or something, i was hanging out looking at some cuneiform with some older guy that i also apparently knew, and we discovered some sort of tiny picture involving germans and egyptians only everyone was fish? and the professor came over and then was mad at me. again. so i was like 'screw dis' and went back to my hotel room.

right, the babies had been kittens by then, because i was definitely watching them walk around during the lesson. yes, walk. some of them looked like tiny humans. but they were definitely cats.

i got a phone call on the way back to the room, telling me about an employment opportunity in san francisco, and i was basically like 'hm yeah i'll think about it' and then hung up the phone and 'yeah nope'.

but then, by the time i got back up to the hotel room - suz and jackie were there, on their way out, and giffy was following them, but i basically grabbed her and turned her around like nope, we're going back to the room, us time, and she was like 'but' and i was like 'suz and jackie have each other and they don't care. c'mon.' and she followed me back to our room.

now, here's when things got really distressing.

more cats. apparently there were... let's see. at least eight kittens total? and they were tiny. like. can fit in your palm, barely out of the womb tiny. and there was a guy there - i'm going to say work!matt because that's who's popping to mind and i did drive him home yesterday, but it... wasn't. so outwardly, resembles work!matt. inwardly, some guy i knew, idk. but we come up to our room and see that the door's open, and i get this freezing feeling in my chest because i know the kittens were supposed to be in here, and from what i can see, there's no one in the room... and then i hear a sobbing sound from across the way, and i go and not-matt's there, his head in a cabinet, freaking the hell out. because apparently one of the tiny tiny kittens got hurt. like, smashed. ish. and he's freaking out because he doesn't know what to do, and i'm so angry i'm about to explode because someone hurt my baby, someone who was supposed to protect her, and i growl 'FIX IT' and i have no sympathy and i'm trying to gather up all the tiny kittens but i can't hold all these kittens--

Yeah. I don't even know what to say. That's just. What the hell.

drabble meme stolen from gabhi--!

igrab — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 18:23:37 GMT

And I'm stealing her exact wording because pada_something is basically amazing.

shockingly enough, i want to write drabbles so i'll procrastinate and not do the things i really have to do:
(and to make your life easier, because i'm a sweetheart)

1) Give me a pairing.
--[or just a character/group idec.]
2) Give me an AU setting.
--[if you can't think of one, pick a number from 1-25 and i'll use my random AU table]
3) I will write you a three-sentence fic.
--[or more. who da fuq knows.]

THIS IS A BREAD STORY.

igrab — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 05:21:52 GMT

The Bread Story

Once upon a time, I was on skype with Elise and she said "go to bread". Due to lack of medication, my brain was made of pop rocks, so naturally, I lost my shit. Fucking lost.

Then I had to log back on to tell her, "my bread is a fruiton". Shit was lost a second time.

Then today, I told Jezzi to go to bread and she said, "no, I'm just gonna go to sheep". Shit lost for a third time.

I told Ryan, I'm gonna sheep in my fruiton bread. His response was to tell me about his favorite pickup line: "You can sheep in my bread, but I sheep in my bread, so we'll have to chair".

Shit. Fucking. Lost.

[2/29/12 12:09:43 AM] Risu: SOOOOO LOST
[2/29/12 12:09:46 AM] Risu: IT'S LIKE
[2/29/12 12:09:48 AM] Risu: IN FUCKING ORBIT BY NOW
[2/29/12 12:09:53 AM] Fruiton Bread: IT'S ORBITING JUPITER
[2/29/12 12:09:55 AM] Fruiton Bread: I WAS ABOUT TO SAY JAPAN
[2/29/12 12:10:07 AM] Fruiton Bread: WHOOPS
[2/29/12 12:10:54 AM] Risu: LOL

[2/29/12 12:16:20 AM] Fruiton Bread: oh hey you get to sleep in a real bed
[2/29/12 12:16:28 AM] Ryan Smith: wait
[2/29/12 12:16:29 AM] Ryan Smith: what
[2/29/12 12:16:32 AM] Fruiton Bread: you get the bed
[2/29/12 12:16:34 AM] Ryan Smith: what is this sorcery
[2/29/12 12:16:34 AM] Fruiton Bread: like
[2/29/12 12:16:39 AM] Fruiton Bread: not even the pullout bed
[2/29/12 12:16:43 AM] Ryan Smith: WHAT
[2/29/12 12:16:44 AM] Fruiton Bread: cos i have a fruiton now
[2/29/12 12:16:51 AM] Ryan Smith: i feel like royalty :D
[2/29/12 12:16:51 AM] Fruiton Bread: so you get the big bread
[2/29/12 12:17:37 AM] Fruiton Bread: i know you've always wanted the big bread, so
[2/29/12 12:17:43 AM] Fruiton Bread: we don't even have to chair it
[2/29/12 12:18:00 AM] Ryan Smith: oh...
[2/29/12 12:18:09 AM] Ryan Smith: but we could always chair if we wanted dew
[2/29/12 12:18:23 AM] Fruiton Bread FUCKNGJLHN:TEIOLSNFSJK HGD

....THE END.

if igrab had written things instead.

igrab — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 22:12:02 GMT

If iGrab Had Written Twilight

-Bella would be a spunky bibliophile fangirl with a penchant for mild violence with said books. She would be pragmatic about things, herself and others, rather than having low self-esteem. She would still fall down a lot.
-Edward would be about 80% less creepy, but retain his gentleman-ly courtesy and would frequently have no idea how to ask a girl out in the modern sense. And probably still get mildly scandalized by ankles.
-Jacob would be gay. He would have a thing for Edward, which would make things awkward between him and Bella until he becomes a werewolf, at which point he would agonize about feeling magically repulsed even if you like someone.
-Jasper would be a girl. Alice and Jasper would still be together, and Alice would legitimately flirt with Bella (up to a point. She's dedicated to her girl, of course.) and Bella would constantly be questioning Edward's sexuality, because 'all her friends are gay'.
-Most everything after the first book wouldn't happen.
-Basically it would just be about the vampire family and sparkly vampires and gay werewolves and Bella hitting Edward with books every time he does something dumb. And Edward not understanding that normal boys don't carry pocket handkerchiefs.

If iGrab Had Written Cowboys and Aliens

-Daniel Craig would actually be an alien of the same species as Olivia Wilde.
-And she would know this.
-We would get to see her true form.
-Instead of her going on by herself at the end, they would go together, and either die holding hands, or manage to get out and integrate into society.
-But their species would be some sort of body-snatcher, which is where the bandits and so on would come from.
-All the time spent being all 'woo suspense' would instead by spent making Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig snipe at each other. Also, Olivia being much newer at her human body and doing some silly alien things.
-And there would be a strong female character who is not an alien.

If iGrab Had Written Green Arrow

-We would pick up the story from right before Cry for Justice. Let's just say the real Ollie and Dinah were transported to Tin Pin world and their alternates were stupid for a few years there.
-Dinah would put the Birds of Prey together, but she'd come home to Ollie.
-It would turn out that Connor wandered into Kyle's room and he's been there ever since.
-Shado comes to see him and, idk. Activates his dragon's-blood bath somehow, curing him. He is really embarrassed that they kissed that one time.
-Robert would go back to being eight. But when he grew up he'd be the next Green Arrow and would be bffs with Sin and Lian, of course. (Because Lian is alive. Duh.)
-And Ollie/Dinah/Roy would be canon.

If iGrab Had Written Kingdom Hearts II

-Sora would make friends with the Organization instead of destroying them.
-Maleficent would still be dead.
-Ansem the Wise would be the final boss.
-Port Royal wouldn't be so STUPID.

If iGrab Had Written Percy Jackson and the Olympians

-Percy and Nico would get together. Duh.

this is a twilight afnfictio!

igrab — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 04:11:23 GMT

pnmce u[pm a time, there was a vampire. and he was dumb. and then there was a werewolf, and he was adorable. btu then he turned dumb. so bella went and kissed all the girls! this made her feel happy. because girls are nice. and then creepy people came. and she was like. but i like girls! and then she grew up and became a biog. lesbian. and edwartd was sad because jhe was seventeen foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrr. that is bad!! seventueen is bad.

and then carlisle was hot.

the end!!!!!!!!!!!

edit: UI AM TAKING REQUWSeT FOR DRUNK FANFICTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PJO pairings list

igrab — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 02:17:50 GMT

Organized by character; preferred pairing at the top, then each preference in descending order. There are only repeat names if there are new pairings with them.

Also, my new goal in ~~life~~ ~~2011~~ LIFE is to write fic for each of these pairings. No lie.

Percy
PERCY/NICO
Percy/Calypso
Percy/Rachel
Percy/Bianca
Percy/Annabeth

Annabeth (aka my little black dress)
Annabeth/Triton
Annabeth/Butch
Annabeth/Rachel
Annabeth/Luke
Annabeth/Travis
Annabeth/Reyna
Annabeth/Clarisse
Annabeth/Thalia
Annabeth/anyone that stands still long enough

Nico
Nico/Percy
Nico/Reyna
Nico/Leo

Rachel
Rachel/Annabeth
Rachel/Piper
Rachel/Percy
Rachel/Reyna
Rachel/Butch
Rachel/Bianca
Rachel/Katie

Clarisse
Clarisse/Silena
Clarisse/Annabeth
Clarisse/Nyssa
Clarisse/Katie

Luke
Luke/Ethan
Luke/Annabeth
Luke/Calypso
Luke/Thalia

Thalia
Thalia/Piper
Thalia/Zoe
Thalia/Artemis

Travis, Connor, Will
Will/Connor
Travis/Connor
Travis/Annabeth
Travis/Pollux
Travis/Leo
Travis/Percy

Jason, Piper, Leo
JASON/LEO
Jason/Reyna
Piper/Thalia
Piper/Octavian
Piper/Reyna
Leo/Piper
Leo/Nico

Butch, Clovis, Drew, Nyssa
Butch/Clovis
Butch/Annabeth
Nyssa/Drew
Butch/Rachel
Nyssa/Clarisse

Reyna, Frank, Hazel, Octavian
Frank/Hazel
Reyna/Octavian
Reyna/Jason
Reyna/Nico
Reyna/Rachel
Reyna/Piper
Octavian/Piper
Reyna/Hylla

Gods
ZEUS/GANYMEDE
Hades/Persephone
Apollo/Hermes
Zeus/Hera
Aphrodite/Hephaestus
Aphrodite/Ares
Hephaestus/Ares
Hermes/May
Athena/Artemis
Apollo/Hyacinth
Apollo/Pan
Herakles/Hylos
Herakles/Hebe
Eros/Psyche
Narcissus/Narcissus

KH 30-day meme: DAY TWO

igrab — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 08:52:09 GMT

Day Two: Least Favorite Character

Oh boy.

YOU KNOW WHO I FUCKING HATE?

THIS CUNTFAG RIGHT HERE.

He is more than just my least favorite Kingdom Hearts character. He is my LEAST FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM OH MY GOD. I'D WISH FOR HIM TO DIE IN A HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING WAY BUT HE BLOWS HIMSELF UP which is about as retardedly embarrassing as you can get, so I suppose that's okay. BUT MY RAGE CANNOT BE CONTAINED.

It's all Ansem's fault. All of it. ALL OF IT. Yesterday I explained a little of what he did to Xehanort, but let's not forget that on top of that, it was HIS research that led to the creation of the Heartless, HIS apprentices who he should have taught better who lost their hearts (AND THEN NINE YEARS LATER WERE LIKE FUCK, THAT WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA, I WANT IT BACK NOW) and HIS stupid ass cunty bitching faggotry that basically caused everything in KH2. Everything.

What's that Roxas? You want to be a person? NO YOU CAN'T YOU'RE A NOBODY YOU'RE NOT MEANT TO EXIST YOU LITTLE SNOTHOLE. YOU ARE A NOBODY JUST LIKE MY STUPIDASS APPRENTICES ERGO YOU ARE NO MORE THAN A WORTHLESS SACK OF MEAT TO ME.

Hello King Mickey! I MUST INFORM YOU RIGHT NOW THAT ANY AND ALL NOBODIES ARE THE BAD GUYS. PLEASE PASS THIS ALONG TO ANY IMPRESSIONABLE, SWEET YOUNG KEYBLADE MASTERS WHO MIGHT GIVE THEM GOOD IDEAS ABOUT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP.

"But Master Ansem, I-" NO YOU STUPID BABYFACED FREAK OF NATURE. MY ICE CREAM AND I SAY NO NO NO. NO. RAGE. WHINE. LA LA LA I'M NOT LISTENING. I CAN'T HEAR YOU. IF I PRETEND YOU'RE UNWORTHY YOU'LL DO WHAT I SAY. BECAUSE IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. I SHOW MY LOVE BY BEING AN ANGRY DOUCHENOZZLE.

"You won't disappear, Roxas! You'll be whole!" LITTLE BITCH I AM MANHANDLING YOU BECAUSE THAT IS THE ONLY WAY I CARE TO DEAL WITH NOBODY CHILDREN. DON'T YOU DARE GRAB MY HANDS YOU LITTLE TWAT. MANHANDLING TIME IS NOW. NO I CAN'T ASK NICELY. HOW DARE YOU.

Oh no, my protege went about everything the wrong way WHY DIDN'T HE DO WHAT I TOLD HIM TO WHY DID HE HAVE TO TURN EVIL (BECAUSE ANY IDEA THAT IS NOT MINE IS EVIL) BAW BAW THIS IS ALL MY FAULT I'M GOING TO EXPLODE MYSELF AND BRING DOWN KINGDOM HEARTS WITH ME! YES I'M USING A FAULTY MACHINE ON PURPOSE. NO IT WILL NOT DO ANY GOOD WHATSOEVER. MY LIFE IS OVER BAWWWW. BUT I WAS STILL RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG.

I cannot just call him Ansem, because it's confusing, but I can't call him by his real epithet either - because, seriously? SERIOUSLY? WISE? No. I have called him Ansem the Douchebag for a good many years, but now with the fantastic new information from birth by sleep, I shall now commence calling him by the title he well and truly deserves - HIS MOTHERFUCKING LORDSHIP.

JFC I need to shut up or I'll be too angry to sleep. This is the only character ever that can send me into a blind white rage just from the sheer mention of his name. LET'S MOVE ON, EVERYONE.

full list of questions here

KH 30-day meme: DAY ONE

igrab — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 04:31:51 GMT

Day One: Favorite Character

It's easy to just drop a character's name and move on, but the reality of this is- I have three, and I like them for different reasons, so let's talk!

Sora
NEGL. I love Sora. I love his doofyness and I love that he's actually pretty badass despite that. I love that he's made of sunshine. I love that there's something so eternally boy about him, he's not manly or girly he's just boyish. He has this incredible power and the more I learn about keyblades and their history, the more amazed I am at Sora- and there's this One True Hero thing about him and he's just. Optimistic and wonderful. I don't know. I love Sora. I think he's a fantastic character and I love how much he loves Riku. I love that he's gullible - I hate, hate, hate how everyone (that is, Mickey, Ansem, and Yen Sid) take advantage of it. I don't hate Sora for what he does to the Organization because it's not his fault. It's the douchebags who poured their opinions in his ear and he's just the sort of person that believes the first thing he's told. I just feel bad for him. I feel bad and upset that he was, essentially, conned. I wish he could have been friends with them. I feel like, if he'd been left to his own devices he could have healed the rift between nobody and somebody. He could have done this. He would have smiled at them and then ALL THEIR PROBLEMS WOULD BE SOLVED. Sora is magical. Sora is an hero. I love Sora.

Xigbar
I'm not going to say Braig, because as exciting as the concept of canon!Braig is... I don't like him as much. He's okay, but he's kind of a carbon copy of Xigbar himself, and thus, not very interesting. (Unlike Isa and, to an extent, Lea.) Let's pretend, for a moment, that canon!Braig doesn't exist and we can imagine him any way we want. I loved the mystery surrounding Xigbar, like he knew things the others didn't know, like - you get this feeling he could totally be the leader of everything, but he was just too lazy or he had other motivations, other reasons for doing what he did. I love what he looks like and how he moves and acts and talks and okay, my reasoning isn't actually very ~deep~, he's just the character I associate myself with. And part of it is personal, I'm very attached to my versions of Braig and Xigbar and that nostalgia is still there. He's still mine, in a way.

Xehanort
This is my secret favoritest character in all of Kingdom Hearts. If I had to choose, if I really honestly had to choose - this guy. Right here. And knowing his history has only made it better.

I hate Master Ansem because I blame him for everything. I believe he was a blank slate perfectly balanced between light and darkness when Ansem got ahold of him. I believe that Terra and Geezernort's hearts were both inside of him, but his memories weren't there, and it could have gone either way. But Ansem was a fucking cunt. Ansem was a douche. Ansem got the whole ball rolling and he turned beautiful, sweet Xehanort ("But Master Ansem, I-") into the Seeker of Darkness and someone who really only wanted to get his heart back and create a world where he could be accepted and loved and where he could belong. Because of Ansem- because of Ansem- these worlds weren't good enough.

I want to think that the organization stuck by him less because they actually wanted to lose their hearts or regain them or whatever the hell they were doing (for those NINE YEARS before Sora found the keyblade, before Roxas, before they were hunted) but because they believed in him. They were his friends. They wanted to stay with him.

This is my story and I'm sticking to it.

full list of questions here

let's burn a hole so we can climb out

igrab — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 07:19:17 GMT

→ Hrm. School starts in, like, nine days. Wut.

→ Apparently, storylandqueen, citiesfalling, dorian_mauve, and speccygeekgrrl all know each other somehow? THIS IS A CIRCLEJERK OF EPIC WIN RIGHT HERE. CL is mine though. Miiieeeen.

→ I made a bunch of icons for percy20in20, they are damn gorgeous and I don't care who knows it.

→ Two songs simultaneously stuck in my head: Paper Walls and Stare at the Sun, which is an odd but kind of cool combination.

→ Tomorrow: Clean (? lol). Take Elise to the airport. Go to work. Clean (for reals). Sigh.

→ I swear my super not so secret audio project will be finished soon - I got derailed by having to make those icons. All I really have to do is add a bit of music, and decide whether I want to splite it up into different tracks. It's over an hour and a half? But it isn't like there's chapters or anything. Hrn. IDK. (oh, very, very secret - accents, 1.5 hours of audio, music? I'll let you put the pieces together.)

→ OH ALSO, the reason I actually wanted to post at all rofl (HEY HEY ruins_of_sodom LISTEN UP) Iiiii found EVEN MORE Apollo/Hermes proof today. Just, just, I can't even. And it's from Homer! "And Hermes loved the son of Leto continually, even as he does now, when he had given the lyre as token to the Far-shooter, who played it skilfully, holding it upon his arm." AND AND AND "but Apollo, son of Leto, swore to be fellow and friend to Hermes, vowing that he would love no other among the immortals, neither god nor man sprung from Zeus, better than Hermes" GLEEEEE.

Voice Post

igrab — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 04:29:25 GMT

In which I curse, and read a small unspoilery excerpt from Shadow Magic in which basically Caius Greylace is ~~Kuja~~ a flaming faggot.

this is my aim icon rn, jsyk

igrab — Fri, 21 May 2010 13:14:30 GMT

Meme from antistar_e! (Begging kohl_eyed and flynn_boyant quietly with my eyes for Demon's Trilogy stuff!)

Give me a person or ship and I will write one sentence each of ten genres for them. The genres are:

1. Angst
2. AU
3. Crack!fic Plot
4. Crossover
5. First Time
6. Fluff
7. Humor
8. Hurt/Comfort
9. Smut
10. UST

TROY

igrab — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 03:22:43 GMT

LOL I'M WATCHING TROY
[don't shoot me if I'm not even remotely historically accurate, I get most of my learnings from fiction.]

LOL ACHILLES JUST. LOL. that poor kid. and he's like WHATEEEEEEVS *SPARKLES* *RIDES OFF INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER, YEP I'M AN ASSHOLE* love himmm.

"Imagine a king who fights his own battles. Wouldn't that be a sight." Oh god and all I can think of is Alexander, beautiful Alexander, who would have taken on the entire Trojan army himself if his friends aka the entire greek army would let him. But noooo they'd be like OMFG WE LOVE YOU ALEXANDER, DO NOT DO THIS *dogpile* and then they would win. But Achilles is Alexander's hero and just. Just.

Yes, I'm going to be talking about Alexander 99.99999% of the time here, so just stfu, okay? I LIKE ALEXANDER.

"Is there no one else..." Oh god he's so beautiful *wibbles*

OH GOD LOL I FORGOT THAT ORLANDO BLOOM WAS IN THIS. BRB OVARIES IGNITING. ORLIE AND ERIC IN ONE FRAME? *INSTANT COMBUSTION*

yes, all my favorite actors have been in at least one period drama. shut up.

OH PARIS YOU NAUGHTY THING, GOING AFTER HER LIKE THAT!!!!! also lol what totally thought he was going to mack on hector there, WOAH. mmm, trojans.

"That's what you said last night." Oh, okay, they have a Thing going. ALL GOOD THEN! I APPROVE! I approve even more of their eyesex then, too, nom nom nom.

Okay hnnnnnngh hot blond lady with wispy curls, nuzzling woobie-looking Orlando Bloom's hands, then he asks if he should go, and then they make out and just, just, I love everything about this scene. Panties on fiiiiiire.

Oh god Orlando Bloom is so good at this. This is where I love him best, dark hair, huge woobie, totally innocent and retarded and 'uhhhh yeah we'll die but... but... i'll love you!!' lol lol love him. would never ever want someone like that but he makes for an adorable character.

OH MY GOD ~~ERIC BANA~~ HECTOR MARRY ME. I seriously heard Paris go "...Do you love me?" and I thought, oh please, let him be all :| what have you done NOW, and THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE DID/SAID. OMFG DOE EYES. DROOL. HECTORRRR.

OH GOD!!!!! NEGL, HECTOR MAKES ME SO FUCKING HAPPY. DUTY OVER LOVE, AND FAMILY/COUNTRY OVER BLOND TRAMPS!!! STICK IT TO HIM, HECTOR!!!!! TURN THIS FUCKING SHIP AROUND!!!!!

"I won't ask you to fight my war."
"You already have."
MY HEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awwwww I even love Agamemnon and Menelaus. BROTHER HUGS. LOVE IT. SNIFFLE.

"There's only one man he'll listen to."
IS- IS- ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT------- [later edit: no, it isn't, but wth ever, it's his entrance anyway!!!!]

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

OKAY I AM LEGIT FREAKING OUT, PATROCLUS PATROCLUS PATROCLUS PATROCLUS PATROCLUS PATROCLUS PATROCLUS PATROCLUS

GOD HE'S SUCH A SCAMP, LOOKIT HIM

GOD

HI ZEUS I MEAN

LOL COUSIN, SURE. VERY FUNNY. GOING TO FORGET YOU SAID THAT NOW.

LOOK AT HIS GORGEOUS FAAAAAAAAACE

OH GOD HE SMACKED HIS ASS

Okay stop saying cousin, rofl. ICWYDT. And I don't like it. GTFO my homos.

Side note: loving Zeus (whateverhisnameis) as Odysseus. He's just wonderful. A++ and all that.

And, well, if you couldn't figure out by now that I LOVE Braddie as Achilles, idk idk. ~~Because I would have said something if I didn't?~~ TRANSLATION I FUCKING LOVE HIM, OKAY, HE IS EPIC AND PRETTY AND HEROIC AND COY AND EVERYTHING ACHILLES SHOULD BE.

Eh, really not liking his mommy. Thetis I think? idefk, I don't like her destiny speech, it's a) boring, b) too revealing, c) if she's a real mom she'd just be like DON'T GO TO TROY. DON'T DO IT. DO NOT GO TO TROY SOB MY BABY. (or, you know, something) and that would sort of clue him in to the whole, if you go, you will die thing but he totes knows about the ~~glory and all that. IDK. Whatever. Just loving that Percy has so much more in common with Achilles, even if their motives are different.

// ALEXANDER BREAK //
oh god when wee!Alex is asked why he likes Achilles best, the first thing he says - "Because he loved Patroclus. And avenged his death." Just. ASHKJLHGKJG I love Alexander looking up to Achilles, will never not love that. Especially since Alexander is a child of Zeus ~~he is okay~~ and Patroclus was from the sea, like Percy, idk idk I just love them all, all the ~~gay~~ heroes.
// BACK TO THE MOVIE //

jdfghlsjdghsfd that woman. Hector's wife. I want to be herrrrr.

*insert epically long self-reflection crisis on The Times That I Am Not Gay, ergo, right the hell now*

Omg I love how ~sensible~ Hector is. He's so fucking down to earth and smart and sensitive and capable and he ~understands~ shit, and he loves his fucking country, and and and and and....

I LOVE YOU ACHILLES. KEEP SMIRKIN LIKE A SMIRKY THING. OH HEART.

YES, AGAMEMNON, SUCK IT. HE IS GOING TO TAKE THE BEACH OF TROY WITH FIFTY MEN. I MEAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT DID YOU INVITE HIM TO THIS PARTY FOR, ANYWAY?!?!?!

The only reason that him saying 'cousin' so much is even minorly okay is because his actions totally belie his words. Every time he says cousin? He's actually saying 'love'. DUH. Like, oh god, that sweet little cuddle. Mhfhgnm. CUDDLE MOAR, BBS.

"All my life I've lived by a code. Honor the gods. Love your woman. And defend your country!

HECTOR MARRY ME ILUSFM.

"Do you know what's waiting on that beach? Immortality. Take it, it's yours!"

I don't even think I need to say anything at this point. You all know how much I love battle speeches.

Okay, I know the forces of Troy are fucking fierce but for fuck's sake, you guys. You're the fucking Myrmidons. Don't get shot down in the first wave! .....and seriously, you don't need to show like, fifteen different Myrmidons dying in stupid ways, director-person. One or two is enough to give it that ~realism~. But seriously. These are the Myrmidons and they're practically on top of them. Give them a little credit.

...On the other hand, Troy is a city of Apollo, who - yknow - archery - so it stands to reason that their archers would be fuckin' fierce. I just hate seeing hordes of ~good fighters~ die in stupid ways right off the bat.

THEEEERE we go. TURTLE TIME!!!

I actually love how the armies are barely organized - unlike Alexander's time, when they've been fighting in groups for centuries. Here, it's still a time of heroes. Heroes who sort of happen to be shoved into a group.

God, Achilles moves like beauty itself.

OMFG. The statue. The. God. I'm like, having a mythological braingasm here, I just. Why have I never seen this movie before?????

"Perhaps your brother can comfort them. I heard he's good at charming other men's wives." And then, then, that SOUND he makes, like - Tch. YOU CATTY BITCH. ILU ACHILLES. God, this whole scene. Like a fire in my paaaaaaants.

....As you probably could have predicted, I made several ridiculous squealy noises when Patroclus nearly leaped into his arms there omfg ♥~ and he was totes like 'yeah whatever whatever don't care you're a retard- BABY ♥'

Oh sigh, now there's going to be the requisite Achilles-sleeps-with-a-girl scene, and I'm going to be quietly displeased all the way through because Patroclus isn't there.

"I want what all men want - I just wanted more." Oh, wow. There are some beautiful lines in this movie. And, so far, haven't started disliking this scene at all. Achilles is just the right amount of human-courtesy and lol-fuckit-whatever.

Okay, so, good. Never mind. That scene was lovely :)

Once again, my hackles rose when Achilles got all prissy over whatshertits but a) he would, wouldn't he, sigh and b) what she said to him! DAYUM. YOU GOT SERVED, ACHILLES. A++ LADY WHOEVERYOUARE! Now go get fucked.

Checking, checking, yep, still want to marry Hector. Honoring the gods is well and good but you have to temper it with common sense, and that is why I love him.

Ohhh god shut up Paris. (kidding, he's just so... very... Paris.) ....Oh god, his eyes! JFC. A++ makeup job there, folks. He looks like he's been crying but did his best to get over it, oh the paaaaaain i love it.

...Thinking about the founding of Troy makes me think of Ganymede. He was a prince of Troy, you know, one of the first few generations - going to have to work that sword into that story ~~if I ever write it~~.

...SIGH MARRY ME HECTOR.

YAY ACHILLES AND PATROCLUS HAD DELICIOUS SEX THAT NIGHT, I DECREE IT!!

"I taught you how to fight, but I never taught you why to fight."
*eyeroll*. "I fight for you." Like, duh, you retard.
What will you fight for when I'm gone?" ah. uh. nff. gggnhhh. ;3;

Hector does die, doesn't he? Oh, lord, I am going to sob my eyes out. Though, I won't cry as much as when Patroclus dies. I'm going to fucking weep. If I remember correctly, Hector kills Patroclus, Achilles kills Hector and drags his burning body around the walls of Troy in Patroclus's chariot, and then Paris kills Achilles with an arrow that was proooobably guided by Apollo since Paris is a piece of shit. So it's all about that stupid temple. Lolol this movie isn't even canon, I need to reread the Iliad.

BATTLE TIIIIIME

...o-oh my god, Patroclus is wearing a seashell necklace that is so obviously Achilles's. NDJKGHFG BRB SOBBING.

HAHA LOOK AT THOSE BAMFS GETTING OFF THEIR HORSES IN TANDEM, i bet they rehearsed that shit for hours when they were younger. ~~oh god stop wanting to write fic~~

HECTOR MARRY ME (you'd think that would get old. well, it doesn't. stfu. he's beautiful. inside and out.)

OKAY, LEGIT SQUEALED WHEN HECOTR AND PARIS HUGGED. OH GOD IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL HUG, SO PERFECT and yes, i know people ship them, but i won't be one of them, sorry. love their relationship as it is too much. see how he turned his head away when they hugged? too precious for that. and if it was romantic, he wouldn't let paris go off to this fight - juuust like Achilles wouldn't let Patroclus fight on the beach, okay. He loves him too much for that. Hector loves Paris differently. And I wouldn't change it for the world. Also? Hector is ~~mine~~ his BAMF wife's, and Paris is a little slut.

Okay, let me just say? I LOVE THE WAY THEY FILMED THIS. The silence, the utter lack of music, the utter lack of... anything but the pure fight - no cheap cuts, no ~dramatic camera angles~, it's just. GOD it's tense. And the bits of Agamemwhore laughing, and Hector looking grim and heartfelt, and yes. Oh. Oh. YES.

HECTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR

Okay i could not, I just, i COULD NOT love him more. It is not physically possible for me to love this man more. J. F. C. i am going to weep, this movie will make me CRY and it will be embarrassing. for the record, the ONLY movies i've ever cried at: what's eating gilbert grape, the joy luck club, lilo and stitch, prayers for bobby (which is a lifetime movie so that's acceptable), and alexander.

Archers of Troy? Motherfucking sexy. I also have a thing for archers. JSYK.

SCREAM HECTOR!!!!!

LOL OKAY I SWEAR HE JUST SCREAMED FIIIIIRE AND ALL I HEARD WAS FIRE EVERYTHIIIIIIIING!!!!!!! hi, Nero.

"It's no insult, to say a dead man is dead." TRUE FACTS, ODYSSEUS. LOVE YOU ♥

And once again, my doubts are assauged because this girl is actually pretty awesome, and they have intelligent conversation that brings up very, very good points. Very impressed with the het interaction in this movie. Very impressed that I love all the female characters so far. A++, Troy.

"Let me tell you a secret, something they don't teach you in your temple. The gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal. Because any moment might be our last. Everything's more beautiful, because we're doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again."

"I thought you were a dumb brute. I could've forgiven a dumb brute." Again, loving it. Loving them. ~~But please don't bang, please don't ruin it with sex this time.~~

Oh god. Oh god. This scene. It's exactly mirrored with Alexander and Roxane, even the lines are the same. Do it. Do it. And that's where he gets his courage from, oh fuck. It's like... it's like Jack and the Doctor, for fuck's sake. The Doctor is this flawed person who makes himself out to be a hero and Jack, Jack is truly beautiful, but only because he's modeled himself utterly after the Doctor. God. It's so incredible. Wow. Okay. Brain exploding.

NO. DON'T FUCKING SLEEP TOGETHER DON'T FUCKING RUIN THIS AND DON'T MAKE IT ALL ABOUT SEX. GOD-FUCKING-DAMNIT!!!!

UGH CAN'T STAND THIS. IT ISN'T ABOUT THAT AND I HATE HOW IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ABOUT THAT, CAN'T SHE HAVE HER MAIDENLY PRIDE??? CAN'T THEY AFFECT EACH OTHER'S LIVES AND NOT HAVE TO SLEEP TOGETHER BECAUSE OF IT????

and this ISN'T about Patroclus, for ONCE. Achilles sleeps around!! OF COURSE HE DOES. It's her I'm bitching for, because she's a goddamn temple maiden and for once I'd like to see someone strong about their chastity! Especially when she is honestly disgusted by how many people who's killed, and how many more he will kill!!! And the way they talk, intelligently, and what he's said to her, that she's mortal and that's beautiful and HE SAVED HER FROM BEING RAPED BY IDIOTS and it just isn't fair because a girl like her deserves someone who will really love her, and Achilles won't and can't. JFC.

*COULD RANT ABOUT THIS FOREVER. WILL STOP.*

*makes an incoherent upset sad sound at Patroclus entreating him* ;33333333; i, i will seriously cry, i will. okay. back to watching.

ugh, oh, wait, i see it, i see it now. NOW he wants to go back home with his pretty little apollo temple maiden who hates him, you disgust me, girlie. Take pride in what you believe and hold fast to it, against what you know is wrong. Don't let fucking Achilles, a man who was responsible for the desecration of your people and your temple, don't let this man you don't even know make you stupid and weak. i have utterly lost respect for her.

vomit. on. her. face. i can't stand girls like her. get lost. you know what? helen caused a fucking war but she stood up for her beliefs and she was strong. so is hector's wife. they're strong, beautiful ladies and you don't deserve to be in spitting range of them.

HOLY SHIT!!! FIREBALLS!!!! trojans, you are a beautiful people (even if your king is occasionally ninny who needs to listen to hector more) and i'm so proud that this is ganymede's people. ~~yes, my head thinks like that~~.

oh god

is this

is this is this

*grabs hold of lord coward!squirrel! holds tight!*

i think knowing the story makes me more worked up about it-!!!

OH GOD IT IS IT IS HIM, i can tell from the way he moves, oh my heart is already breaking, into piecessss so many of them oh god

they do a REALLY good job of hiding it. i'm so impressed. like, i can believe that everyone believed that this was achilles. but i can tell it isn't. because i'm looking for it. OH.

...i... i... oh god, hector's mercy kill. gods.

STOP SAYING COUSIN FFS ~~COUSIN~~ LOVER. JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.

"That boy's just saved this war for us." YOU DICK. YOU FUCKING DICK. I HOPE ACHILLES CUTS UP YOUR ENTRAILS, YOU FUCK.

OH MY GOD YOU FUCKING BITCH. DO NOT TELL ACHILLES WHAT TO DO, YOU LITTLE SLUTFUCK. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT PATROCLUS MEANT TO HIM. YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF WHO HE IS OR WHAT HE'S MADE OF OR WHAT HIS DESTINY IS SO BACK THE FUCK OFF, GO AWAY, GO BACK TO YOUR BROKEN TEMPLE WITH YOUR LOST VIRGINITY AND CRY FOR WHAT YOU COULD HAVE PREVENTED.

"You won't have eyes tonight. You won't have ears or a tongue. You will wander the Underworld blind, deaf, and dumb and all will know. This is Hector. The fool who thought he'd killed Achilles."

This is, without a doubt, the best fight scene I have ever seen. Hands. Down. Achilles is a thing of beauty and Hector is almost, almost a match for him. Wow. I am just simply blown away.

And that. is what you get. When you mess. with Patroclus.

OH YOU HAD BETTER TELL THAT DUMB BITCH TO SHUT THE FUCK UP.

OH, I SEE. IT'S THE ~COUSIN~ PARALLEL. NEWS FLASH, CUNT, PATROCLUS MEANS MORE TO ACHILLES THAN HECTOR EVER DID TO YOU, ALSO, HE NEVER BETRAYED HIM, UNLESS YOU WANT TO COUNT SLEEPING WITH YOU, YOU FUCKING TURNCOAT.

[side note: i do love that you can pretty much just dub 'lover' over all the instances of cousin. word substitution really didn't change a goddamn thing.]

"You are my enemy tonight. But even enemies can show respect."

No words that I can say will impress upon you how much this scene affects me. No words.

GOD, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, DUMB BITCH, LEAVE!!!!!!!!! *takes a pair of scissors to her FACE*

If I ever have a dartboard, there will be four people on it. Ansem the Wise, Flay Allster, Suzie Castello, and this dumb bitch. She has officially attained rank of people I would honest-to-god cause injury to. Fuck off.

NO!!!!

Okay i seriously just screamed out loud ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!!!! NO FOR FUCK'S SAKE FOR FUCK FUCKING'S SAKE GET THAT NECKLACE OUT OF HER HAND, OUT OUT OUT OTU HSDGJHLSKJHGKADHJ STOP STOP SAHJHKJ RAAAAAAGE!!!!! DO NOT GIVE PATROCLUS'S NECKLACE TO THAT CUNT WHORE SLUT BITCH WHO DOENS'T DESERVE IT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!! FOR ALL THE GOD FUCKING SHADKJSDJAS;DJGLFJHKLAJSDKL;JG;FHJVKLCSKLJFLGFSGHFHJFGJ;KL!!!!!!

RAGE

...aw, i love paris. i love that hector's death has... tempered him. it's beautiful.

"Burn it."
*shock face* "But... it's a GIFT to the GODS!" lol the gods think this whole thing is hilarious.

this, this is epic. the climbing out scene. the music, the cinematography, it's just beautifully done.

i'm actually pretty impressed that i'm still interested in each bit of this battle. though, if there are any ore shots of that bitch running and screaming for paris i WILL cut someone.

DIE. DIE DIE DIE KILL HER, FAT BASTARD. KILL THE SLUT. KILL HERRRRR.

OH MY GOD, HE KILLED HECTOR, BITCH. SHUT UP AND LET PARIS SHOOT HIM UNTIL HE DIES. I AM OKAY WITH THIS. JESUS CHRIST HE'S YOUR COUSIN AND YOUR PRINCE. LET HIM HAVE HIS FUCKING REVENGE.

no, fuck, i can't even listen to this bullshit. just stop. just fucking stop. this is paris, taking revenge for hector and i'm trying to think about how beautifully they worked in the invincibility(?) issue, and it would have been perfect if this scene hadn't been utterly ruined by the presence of this pair of tits. paris is taking revenge for hector like a good brother and a good prince of troy. achilles is still raaaaging about patroclus and doesn't care for his own safety because life is worthless to him now. he does not go searching for a priestess he cares nothing for. he does not care if she's safe, because she, with her vagina, ruined his life. he just wants to kill as many trojans as possible, and then die. heroically. at the point of paris's arrows. because life is meaningless and he is going home, to be with patroclus in elysium forever.

JESUS CHRIST I THOUGHT I WAS ALL OUT OF RAGE BUT APPARENTLY I'M NOT. DUMB BITCH, GO. FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

;3;

Okay, so, wow. That was a movie of emotional ups and down, for me. So. Despite all the raaaage? Loved it. In fact, I need to go watch the scene with Achilles and Patroclus sparring again, thank you.

But it had some serious, serious problems and they were all that bitch who i will never learn the name of's fault.

[unlocking this at the request of lafemmeluna, and only because she's fucking fierce ♥]

Kingdom Hearts in way too many words

igrab — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:59:38 GMT

So. Many of you do not know how completely and totally I was - and still am - obsessed with Kingdom Hearts. A lot of people know of Kingdom Hearts, slightly less people have played the game, a less number than that consider themselves fans, an even smaller numbers consider themselves hardcore fans, and not all of those people would even know what I was talking about sometimes. My subfandom was THE most obscure bit of backstory, though assuredly I still love every little retarded thing about KH (okay, except rabid XigDem shippers and the huge plot holes in II, specifically fucking Maleficent and, you know, ANSEM THE WISE.)

Because I only have, like, a handful of people on my flist anymore who like KH, I'll go over some basics.

This is Sora. Sora's homeworld gets destroyed by ~THE DARKNESS~, and he gets ~chosen~ to wield the keyblade - that's that funny-looking thing he's got on his shoulder - and goes on an EPIC QUEST TO SAVE THE WORLD.

With these guys.

Yep.

Turns out, everything is the fault of THIS GUY:

Who was possessing Sora's bff/gay boyfriend, Riku:

No problem. They beat the bad guy, except Riku gets locked in the land of darkness and Sora leaves his unimportant girlfriend behind to go on an
EPIC QUEST TO FIND HIM.

That is the plot of KHII.

Did I mention there are no het fans in this fandom?

Moving on. Somehow, in between KHI and KHII, Sora gets trapped in a space pod and a year passes. There's other stuff with a castle and memory loss, but that game sucked and the only good part about it was Keith Ferguson shitting flowers. And besides - Sora doesn't remember it anyway.

Now we come to KHII. Without a doubt, KHII is the most aggravating, insipid, plot-hole-ridden, annoying-as-fuck game in the history of existence. All you need to know is that Sora spends the entire time searching for his gay boyfriend Riku, and when he finds him, he does this:

Hmm.

Anyway, NONE OF THAT IS RELEVANT. In fact, forget all about it. Now, aside from the completely lack of 'sub' in that 'subtext' there, the only other good thing about KHII is the ORGANIZATION XIII.

~~Which, according to the most recent game that I have not played yet, actually has fourteen members. But we don't want to talk about that. Ever.~~

I will tell you right now, Organization XIII is fucking badass. In fact, they were so fucking badass that the creators didn't even know WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WITH THEM, so they made up some bullshit story, gave them cool weapons and elements, and only gave each one one or two speaking lines before Sora mercilessly destroys them for no reason (which is not actually Sora's fault. we'll get to that.) Instead, they left it up to the fans. And oh, the fans took the FUCK off. It became absolutely rabid.

The org members are Nobodies. At one point, they were human, but for same/various reason(s), they lost their hearts. Their bodies and souls that were left over took on another life - a Nobody. A lot of the plot of KHII (that isn't about Sora's gay boyfriend, except it kind of is) revolves around Roxas, who is Sora's nobody from That Time when Sora stabbed himself and turned into a Heartless. I can't remember why, it is clearly not important.

The Point is that we don't know the history of most of the Organization. That is, except the first six, who were 'apprentices' of this guy Ansem The Wise, who was ~~AN UTTER DOUCHECUNT~~ he king of his world, Radiant Garden. And a scientist. Or something.

But we are only told this through these ~super secret diaries~, and the average player wouldn't bother getting them let alone reading them. Except for Xehanort, who was the origin of that creepy whitehaired guy from KH1 - remember? All his fault? Whatever. This is his wee beginnings as a mere apprentice:

LOOK AT THAT FACE. HOW CAN YOU RESIST THAT FACE.

Incidentally, that whole scene - which is the only scene we ever see any of the apprentices - involves Xehanort going 'but Master Ansem' (in an incredibly endearing manner) and Ansem essentially saying 'SHUT YOUR TRAP, YOUNG ONE.'

Also, the average player would not give a shit about the Organization, because, as everybody takes great pains to tell the very impressionable amnesiac Sora, they are the Bad Guys and MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS. No explanations. No nothing.

But my entire interest in KH lies in these super secret reports, and seeing Kingdom Hearts from the point of view of the underdog - the six apprentices who went far and beyond in the name of scientific exploration.

Here are the pertinent reports. Feel free to skip them if you're bored to tears already. I'll get to the point eventually.

Secret Ansem Report 1
My efforts these many years have come to fruition, with the world I govern having become a paradise worthy of being called "Radiant Garden."
Nurtured by the pure water that is the source of life, fragrant flowers bloom in abundance, and the people face each day with hopeful smiles.
But where there is light, darkness also lurks.
As noted in my earlier reports, I must solve the mystery of this "darkness of the heart." This paradise depends on it.
I shall perform an experiment to probe the depths of a person's heart. One of my own apprentices, Xehanort, has volunteered to be a subject.
The young man has served me ever since I nursed him back from death's door some years ago.
He had lost all his memories at the time, but later showed remarkable intellectual curiosity and readily absorbed my teachings, gaining deep wisdom. Any mental immaturity is surely due to his young age.
If I explore Xehanort's heart with psychological test, I may be able to recall the past locked away within. My apprentice Even has also shown great interest in Xehanort's memories.
But is he really the right subject? Xehanort does indeed exhibit extraordinary talents…
Too extraordinary...
Perhaps they are even superhuman.

Secret Ansem Report 2
I have made a grave mistake.
My study of the "darkness of the heart" began with a simple psychological test and quickly snowballed.
Spurred on by my youngest apprentice Ienzo, I constructed a massive laboratory in the basement of my castle.
Unbeknownst to me, my six apprentices then began collecting a large number of subjects on which to perform dangerous experiments into the "darkness of the heart."
As soon as I found out, I called my apprentices together and ordered them not only to cease their studies, but to destroy the results of their research thus far.
What on earth was happening within the hearts of my six beloved apprentices? While pursuing the mystery of the darkness of the heart, could they themselves have strayed into its depths?
Yet I remain the most foolish of all, for having begun these experiments.
We are not meant to interfere in the depths of another's heart, no matter what our reasons for doing so...
And my error plunged me into despair.
[rest of the report cut out for blah blah no one cares]

Secret Ansem Report 3
Chaos affects not only this world, but many other worlds besides.
In the "Ansem Reports" my apprentice Xehanort had written under my name, I found the records of his hideous experiments along with his hypothesis about the door that had appeared out of the darkness in the basement.
All living things have hearts, and all hearts hold darkness deep within.
Worlds are no exception. If a world is a being, the heart it holds must be colossal…
...and the darkness at its core must be monstrous indeed.
Did Xehanort pass through that door in an attempt to contact that dark realm?
No, not only Xehanort.
It appears my other five apprentices, believing it was for the sake of research, stared deep into the darkness and were pulled into it.
Even, Ienzo, Braig, Dilan, and Aeleus...
They have ceased to be human.
I, too, have had everything taken away from me, banished to a hollow realm of nothingness.
What is Xehanort hoping to gain with my pilfered existence?
[blah blah no one cares]

And the rest are douchey emo whining.

Now, these terribly unloved and unrecognized apprentices are my heart's delight. I have written a billion fics about them, considered things from all angles, analyzed and theorized and I was often surprised that people who said they were 'into Kingdom Hearts' didn't have a clue what i was talking about when I said 'Braig'. This is how obscure this bullshit is.

Now.

A game came out about the Org. Great. I was super excited, but not like. Blowing my brains out need to get this right the fuck now, because it was all about Roxas and Axel and they weren't going to go into the backstory. I knew this. I also knew that there was another game in the works, a prequel game, set far before anything with all new characters and crazy Keyblade Warriors shit and it looked awesome, but also full of ridiculous plot and nothing making sense, just like I'm used to.

But a new trailer came out today.

And I was completely unprepared for THIS:

THIS:

and THIS:

OMG. WTF. BBQ.

APPRENTICES IN BIRTH BY SLEEP.

APPRENTICES IN BIRTH BY SLEEP.

I'm going to be a KH fan for a while, brb.