I am a DUFUS!

Okay, so I know I'll be flamed to death for this and I'm sure most of you will do the whole 'eye roll, tsk, tsk, tsk' thing, but I'm am so exasperated right now that I think I'm going to burst. Hypothetically speaking..ahem...say I'm a person who has PSP 9 and can crop, adjust and play around w/ effects...but that's about it. I know nothing at all about layering or how to even get a pic into 100x100 w/o it being all wonky. So, for a beginner who is clueless, ::coughsMEcoughs:: where do I start? I've been playing around w/ my software forever and a day and I can't make anything come out right. (I also have Adobe Elements, but even that frustrates me and sends me crying off in hysterical fits). So, I was hoping that someone could point me to a tutorial that is verrah, verrah basic. I've looked over the memories in this LJ, but can't find a tutorial that is 'bare bones,' from start to finish. Sorry if I'm asking too much, but as I said, I'm a dufus.
Anyway, thanks so much for not screaming at your screen...careful now, you'll get a sore throat.
THANKS!
Mrs