Travels of an SF Housewife

In Like a Lion, Then (yes, well before March)

2018-02-02T22:35:15Z

A very - odd day - so far. It's Brigit's Day; I can at last wear my little cross again. I have the beginnings of a sinus infection, so am starting antibiotics tonight. It's unfortunately been setting off a lot of light sensitivity, and - yeah, I found already that my coordination's off, but wow, my strength and balance are outright gone! Fell backwards when trying to get up and just do some simple standing/walking in place with PT, scraped my back on the edge of the bed:(. VERY frustrating! 

And, now, I need to figure something technological out that's likewise driving me nuts. I'll do it; it's a request and I want to be able to do this, but it's very confusing to me just now:(. 

LOL, long ago, when on my wedding day (some of you know this story) I broke my right foot and leg, and my matron of honor's car got towed in the pouring rain, a friend said to me, "You know why these things happen to you? Because Brigit knows you can handle them." I've kept those words in my mind ever since, and they've helped me through numerous challenges. Today, though messy, wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been, and I know this. 

Lol, welcome back, Brigit; I see you're announcing yourself with authority, as they say! To all of you, whichever way you celebrate today, be it Groundhog Day, Candlemas, or Brigit's Day, may you have a good one.

Marathon up Heartbreak Hill

2018-01-18T17:45:50Z

A curious - and slightly frustrating - morning: did a lot of yoga, including...

wait for it...

...a very small Downward Dog!!

I am one step closer to a full Sun Salute:).

And that's called progress, folks.

And then, stuff went weird:

I was researching, you see, the origins of a French name (which required some fascinating reading). At least I now know it existed, though that was wow, waaaaaaay back in Roman-era Gaul... (which I still find amazing and am geeking out on*G*)... but then something happened: this time, the day-after-storm messup occurred by way of me waking around 3:30AM and going, "Ok, cool, sleep schedule's resetting." Oh, NO, Precious: konked out after meds/change/yoga/food, and whilst reading said very very neat French book (did I mention how neat it was? https://archive.org/details/lesnomsdelieudel01long).... Woke up a couple hours later, like 9AM, read some more, thinking, "Ok well that's all of it; on from here..." and konked again. Grr. Woke half an hour later after a bad dream, at 9:30AM, in time to see one of my favorite episodes of Supernatural (because Charlie ROCKS), finished researching said name (in the very very cool French book), and am DETERMINED to stay the fuck AWAKE the rest of today!

DAMMIT!

I'm going to go take noon meds/change/eat and study some druidry now.

Beginnings

2018-01-07T01:37:34Z

Started working at my goals today: went 2x around living rm with PT, then attempted Sun Salute. Got as far as touching the floor and holding there, at least; then did a triangle and triangle twist, and standing side twist (I think called chair)... half an hour poking about and getting self re-familiarized with Four Horsemen game (and thanking myself for writing bug notes four years ago)... also did a very long and VERY intense meditation regarding the agricultural cycle. Phew.

Ha ha, the question now becomes LOTRO or more game-testing. My current personal quest in Project Gorgon is to find a jungle that I know has to be in there, because of some of the plant life. Hm...

My Year of Improvement

2018-01-05T23:43:03Z

This is the year when I get better, back to my baseline, or at least a reasonable version of it. This is the year I stop having to use a fucking walker half the time in the house, the year I manage to get outside and walk farther than just to the bottom of the stairs. This is the year I can go to events and use the damn wheelchair FOR LONG DISTANCES ONLY! This is the year I get better at conflict checking devices as well as onomastics. This is the year I get back to bardic her and there, too! This is the year I finish programming that game I was working on before the flare, and publish it somewhere, maybe on a website where others can play it. This is the year I can do a full sun salute without falling.

THIS IS THE YEAR, for all that. Some I can work on in little combinations; like the SCA stuff, or the stuff with regard to exercise, the stuff with regard to work. But I can do it.

Because, I know myself(s), and I'm only about half of that just now. I also know that I *still* have two active lupus flares, the most challenging being the CNS one. For example, when I woke around 1pm today, I had barely any memory of a storm, or any of the events of the past few days, so I had to look them all up. So... yeah, I know that some of this is going to be really challenging. However, when I first joined the SCA I had an active CNS flare, and I managed to do bardic, and evntually heraldic, stuff. And the gods only know I was writing during that entire time.

I CAN DO THIS.

Ahh, I managed some level of productivity despite storms:)

2017-12-25T21:37:22Z

Today: some druidry study wherein I was reading of Pwyll and Pryderi, and it reminded me of my very first - and very bad - attempt at SCA bardic, where the then Baron and Baroness of Carolingia were kind enough to listen to someone at her first event ever (Falling Leaves 1997). The poem's still in my memory, though I haven't dragged it out much; I tend to prefer singing or storytelling:). But oh yeah I remember!

Also did a bit of exercise; this storm system's been kicking my ass, either causing horrible insomnia or knocking me out a lot, so I've been taking it relatively easy, staying in the bedroom, playing a lot of LOTRO. (I got to help a Spanish-speaker who was looking for a kin/just someone to talk with, yesterday:) I like helping people!)

Finally worked 2hrs on ILOI. Yep, some VERY curious submissions in this one!

Ok I think I'm done now; Moku' bugging me to go eat and stuff.

PS: "Doctor Who" tonight! I've had a marathon of it in the background for a couple days now:). There was a fascinating movie on earlier about the creation of the series, unfortunately I fell asleep about 45 mins in. *Sigh*

AGAIN

2017-12-20T19:15:59Z

So around 1:30 this morning, I got SLAMMED by what looks like the Return of the Flu: 99 temp, baaad musculo-skeletal aches/pain, sore throat, phlegm out of who knows where, intense chest congestion, some nausea and weakness:(. REALLY?? Again??

Had three gatorades plus one cup tea and passed out at last; was trying to distract myself from the crappiness with LOTRO, a little guardian (so, nice and simple to futz with). I miss game-testing Project Gorgon; just don't have the stamina for it currently:(.

Woke at noon feeling slightly better; in less pain and the congestion seems to be calming down, throat less sore. We now have the beginning of lymph nodes though, ear to ear. Had two bowls of soup for lunch plus more gatorade (sigh). 

Must put up the tree today; tomorrow's Yule!

Around and Around We Go

2017-12-19T20:43:34Z

I've been thinking on this topic as I stress some about it: weather. Storms in particular, actually. I know they hit me hard a lot of the time; that's actually not the issue I was considering, though.

By this digital age, most humans are expected to work on a certain culturally-socially-decided pattern. It's grilled into us even before birth that you go to bed at a certain hour, "scientists say" eight hours' sleep is optimal for good health, and most people are still "supposed to" work nine-to-five jobs. "Going out is good for you!" remains an axiom.

Storms interfere with all of this, on varying levels, and for different people. It's ingrained in us to grumble about having to wait in the rain at the bus stop, complain about snow, freak out about hurricanes and tornadoes, and wildfires. Humans do this without really thinking a lot of the time. And for people like me, when the barometric pressure drops - well, so do I. So yes, it's disruptive even to someone who can't work even part-time anymore.

But really, what are storms? I know when I was very little and still living on the coast, I used to absolutely love going out to watch the waves crash inland during nor' easters. I know it *felt* good; I didn't understand why at the time, it just did. I know my dad who taught me a ton about nature back then loves it when it snows because he says it's peaceful shoveling in the middle of the night. And I know I get a *high* from thunderstorms. But, my husband hates them, and my little vicious creature stays away from the windows when it snows because this is one home invader he can't fight off. And, well, when the barometer drops or it's a bright day following a storm, I'm kinda toast.

What are they, though? I have great respect for Caellach and Taranis; I bid them welcome when they come, I ask Caellach to help me weather the storms that rage through the winter months especially, and I revel in Taranis's power. Because storms are power; at least, they're a manifstation of the force of some god or other. Long ago, it seems people respected such power more than they do now; I know there are accounts of one of the Khans being terrified of lightning, and there are tales about the local gods of Hibernia setting off sea-storms and intense fog to protect the Island from invaders. The fact that people like me, with a number of disabilities including brain damage, would likely not have survived this long back then, makes it a little difficult to find a reference point, for me to say, "so I would have done this or that". But, surely, if they lived by the seasons, would the people of long ago not have had a somewhat different take on storms and what they mean?

...And therefore, shouldn't I?

Times I Want to Slap People, and So On

2017-12-16T02:18:16Z

Well, today certainly kicked my ass but I was figuring it might, and it wasn't *too* bad... sort of. I did get the fun of the radiology trainee who was so green she actually forgot to take out the IV, and this being one of those days when I didn't even notice it myself till we got out to registration again and - oh, yeah, there's this thing still in my arm. The guy they sent me back down to *immediately* said, "Yeah... we're supposed to do paperwork when the test's over so we know everything's set - INCLUDING removing the IV, and I got the paper, so I figured all was set!" Yeah. At least I liked *him*; he exuded an air of COMPETENCE. She just drove me nuts the entire time:(. 

To make it even better, they insisted on giving me lasex; something regarding measurement of timing. I'm not sure how you calculate that with someone who's sort-of incontinent; if I am still I don't go, but "just tell me when you need to" doesn't work, because the instant I frigging move, there goes the bladder. Yes, I can more or less tell when I need to. No, I cannot hold it. So, yeah, messy, uncomfortable.. all of that. And that's just physical discomfort: the damn lasex also made me somewhat fuzzy-headed and I was already headed that way because I think of incoming storm, plus the irritation of that girl.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL PEOPLE I HATE BEING SPOKEN ABOUT IN THE THIRD PERSON IF I'M IN THE FUCKING ROOM??

After that great experience, we went to JJ's Deli across the street, where I medicated and had the most wonderful pickle in a while. It's the little things, you know. (Lol yes I had a very good Italian sub with it) And, I got to tell the Lobster about the Christmas Pickle thing that I'd only just learned of myself! For some reason my brain went "A tree, Sable, blasted and eradicated proper" when I looked out the window. Yeah. It does that kind of thing when the neurology's taken a hit.

On that note, started going more downhill on the way home, unfortunately. It did't get *too* bad, just really exhausted. I know I'm pooped when I can drop off on the bus; normally these days I can't fall asleep in moving vehicles; they feel uncomfortable, and I get anxiety attacks. Not this eve!

Home, changed AGAIN, (stupid lasex), got cleaned up, and passed out till around 7:30 or so. I feel mildly better by now, but have discovered by happenstance - hate that - brain's shut off the humor filter again. Sigh. It feels really weird having to explain that to people because, oh, it's not normal. Then again other senses like hunger have been going off and on lately, since the flu happened. I am therefore skinny as a rail, and yes I will hurt you if you tell me, "Good for you!" or something like that. It is NOT healthy, for me or ANYONE. Not something to aspire to, not something to wish for.

Ok now I'm rambling. Grr, and just when I hear my absolute least favorite commercial come on TV: "And you? What would you do for love?" Kid, you don't even have a clue what real love is, if that commercial's any fricking judge. I'm just - ok, I'm going to go shoot things. A lot of things.

another gametest from alpha

2017-12-12T20:39:27Z

It's called "Project Gorgon" and I really like (most of) what they've done with it so far. You get points for dying in this game, better ones for dying in new and different ways. It actually will lead a person to eventually learn Necromancy! Other skills are tree-ed like that too, with one ability leading to another. Oddly enough, cooking is NOT one of these but if you cook fish, it raises your fishing level. Gardening and foraging are skills to develop, though the current gardening mechanic is very painful and tedius rather than relaxing. I've heard cheesemaking is worse; haven't tried that one yet.

They're also trying for a non-level game. So when my little Rakshasa Vibbit accidentally switched the numbers and got a teleport all the way out to the desert - by freakish irony, it was where the Rakshasa live - she could still quest a bit there, and hang out with this or that NPC.

Yeah, the "hanging out" thing is pretty nice. You can pick an NPC you want favor with, and they'll hang out with you while you're logged off: generally you either learn a skill from them after this, or you just gain favor which will lead to you getting better vendor prices with them or training (different from an automatic skill). Unfortunately you can't hang out with every NPC (I have an evil elf named Birchin who'd love to hang with this mushroom-obsessed guy, and I know Vibbit would like to hang at the inn in Serbule to get more cooking xp, or the gardener for gardening xp)

I remember really liking testing Starbound with the Lobster back when, and now that we're doing this one yeah same thing:). And it's one more way I can be helpful to others!

Leaving Middle Earth for a Bit...

2017-12-03T10:03:36Z

So, I've been sitting up around 6-7 hrs a day, almost daily, (and wow, my core muscles feel worked out from it). Been doing some Starbound again: as the devs added a very interesting archaeology skill, Lobster and I decided to build a museum to display all of it! So, we also built a hotel right next door (lol with the damndest elevator...)

But, the other night, he stumbled on something and we both decided to try it! So I've spent some of the last two days game-testing a very new MMO, called Project Gorgon. It's run by a very small design outfit: husband and wife, actually. I even got my own Lobster interested in it enough to play it too, and he hates MMO's by now. But, this one's very innovative, rather unique, and I think it's a keeper!

Here' s some info on it (and no, they aren't kidding about the dying thing, lol) http://massivelyop.com/2016/04/16/massively-ops-guide-to-the-project-gorgon-starter-island/

Grr.

2017-12-02T02:27:19Z

Yep, right then. So, remember I was mentioning my CNS doing what it's gonna do sometime sans warning, and people - including me - have to accord for that? Last night I was tired when I got to bed, but I figured I'd stay up till midnight because if I go to sleep early, I tend to have issues staying asleep. Sorry, no; was falling asleep by 11pm. Gave up and went to bed, and sure enough woke although briefly at 2am. Got up feeling ok at 4, took morning meds and ate somethin and figured ok, up for the morning... ohh, no says my CNS; you did a lot yesterday so back to sleep. Ok fine, I figured; sleep till noon and I'll be ok.

ummm, NO. I managed to awaken briefly at noon just because my hsband got me up then for meds, but then crashed again. He apparently sent a text to my PT, but I vaguely recall her coming and being mildly irritated that I wasn't live enough to even let her in, so I guess she didn't get it in time:(. And then, I crashed again...

Finally awoke 5:30pm, when he called from CVS where he'd stopped to get meds and some stuff. Saw the finale to Bones, which I'd like to see again when I'm more present. Got the pouch changed et al when he got home and had had rested some.

So now I'm up, for the moment, pissed I wasn't able to be up and able to do stuff today:(. Clearly 71/2 hrs is still too much, I guess. Damn.

Not Always as Planned

2017-11-30T03:33:02Z

So, this afternoon. Saw PT, who brought a kind of mat with her for me to practice walking/standing in place upon. Kind of like I'd been walking on sand or some other uneven surface. It definitely worked out my calves and hamstrings; my feet HATED the sensation, lemme tell you. But I managed it all right - we then got into a rather spirited discussion about how she wanted me to practice with my cane more. In theory, yes I agree with her; it's good for improving balance. However, she also wanted me to use my splints daily, at least for a little while. Let me tell you, those babies hurt. Always have. When I was a little kid and forced to wear them constantly, wow did that cause pain, and so it does now as an adult.

So, we agreed I'd at least wear them to the computer chair out in the living room, and take them off while I sat up. Now, here's the thing: what sh e really wanted was for me to wear splints out to there, walk out that way on my cane, then put them back on when I went back to bed. Because I had my husband there to help, right? Trouble is, on a purely physical level, this works. I certainly was able to get my own splints on and truck out there with my cane, and remove them to sit up for six hours. Absolutely fine. But then, at the end, my Central Nervous System just went NO. That's the variable I can't ever account for, because it does random things. I figured I might have a reaction, and I did; not necessarily the one I'd have figured on: NO, YOU ARE NOT BENDING OVER, was very very clear at the end, partly because my CNS had just had its daily intense workout, and also partly due to the workout with the PT from before. Stood up, and wow my spine went OW. No bending over on that; balance check wasn't even needed. So, couldn't put the splints back on, byself, and honestly my legs hurt enough I didn't want to push the issue with him. I just resorted to having him get my walker, and made it back that way. Yeah, in an ideal world I'd have managed both ways just as my PT wanted, but she also knows my CNS does bizarre things and sometimes we just have to adjust for that. I mean, hell, in a perfect world my depends wouldn't have leaked last night and tonight; I wouldn't even have to still wear one in such a world! But there we are. I got half of what she was hoping for done.

Tomorrow, I have my abdominal/pelvis CT scan, to see how those "benign" tumors are doing. So I get a different kind of exercise; up and down the stairs to get out, and then stress on my poor system due to NPO plus the damn barium swallow that tastes like something I'd rather not mention. At least it's just NPO only four hours before the test as opposed to some hospitals that insist on it from midnight on the night before!

As for the OT I did this afternoon, well I first did some game testing on a game about cooking - which requires a ton of fast thinking/movement, so those fifteen minutes were pretty intense! Oddly, even though it was that rogh, part of me liked it. Dunno, I like crafting in games, always did. And, then, later on, I ran around with Harvey and Tim's character Aoi on Starbound. More crafting, lol; we finally found the perfect spot for my nutty explorer/tomb raider to build his inn. This is a tradition, you see; all through while we were testing Starbound in Alpha and Beta, I had somebody make an Inn on some planet, where all my characters could go - his too - and stock up, trade supplies, etc. Well, now the game's live at last and I can play again, it was Harvey's turn. Lol, being the rough and tumble guy he is, Harvey has a very - hmmm, *rustic* - place; it's badly lit, has walls of dirt and sand, and so on. The devs added in a fossil-hunting mechanic, though, and I have - and so does he - a character who loves archaeology, so we're planning to build a museum (and I'm going to try for a nice hotel, never made one before) on some planet. So, a lot of critical and creative thinking today! (not even counting that used for heraldry this morning).

Eeeh - Ahh - Urr... EX.ER.CISE.

2017-11-27T05:26:45Z

Oh yes, definite exercise today on all fronts. 8ans; they still remember when there were trees "butchered" to make the human roads long ago, and they hate the electric lines that Men have built all along those roads, that are constantly pulsing uncomfortable energy. The few humans that occasionally pass among these trees drop their garbage and don't necessarily pick it up, and "it isn't always something the insects and other animals can decompose!" And, they truly detest Men's "obsession with keeping artificial lights glaring all night long." No, the highway trees do not like people at all.

So yeah, that was ONE kind of exercise. Second was physical: I sat up for SIX HOURS today. Yep, six hours. Took meds at 8pm, with pain meds because my back was twinging a bit by the four-hour mark. And, I had to lean back to empty the bladder, because I've found that it'll empty into a toilet or when I'm at a 45-degree angle, but if I sit up at around 90 degrees, it will not. Problem is, if I've been sitting up a bit, and it isn't empty, I have a much worse time when I get up. Yeah... need to figure that one out, so I can eventually move on to actual toileting on a regular basis. And then there's the hands - but that one's complex.

Oh, WOW is that complex. My fingers and my hands are somewhere in between physical and mental, i.e.central nervous system. That one is perhaps the most difficult kind of exercise of all. That's the one where I will literally go until I drop, because my lovely brain doesn't give me a signal to take a rest or anything; it just goes along till all of a sudden "Oh! This is too much!" ... and I go boom:(. My PT's seen it, my husband has seen it, friends of mine over the years have seen it. For full disclosure, yes, I used to sort-of get a warning, years ago, but currently it is literally nonexistent. Dunno what to do about that! So, well, as I said, I was up for six hours today - wanted to see if I could. And anyway, we were discussing fingers and the complexity thereof. You see, Starbound requires a lot more a)critical thinking, and b)finger movement/hand-eye coordination. Typing just requires finger movement; LOTRO in general just requires hitting buttons (warden needs some critical thinking as occasionally does hunter; and there is every so often a quest or two that needs it)... at least in lower levels, lol. Mounted combat I've generally figured out how to "sit and hit"; not the ideal but I usually still play it on this slower laptop and so moving around is much more difficult for me... anyway, so those are the less intense things for fingers/brain to do. Well, in Stabound, you have to be able to jump around, to think out fights, to figure out what's needed where, IN ADDITION TO any creative thinking I might be doing (because, well, I characterize constantly, lol).

So... I was up for six hours. And right at the six-hour mark, brain went. "DONE" Nothing more. And, I felt all - well, it's hard to describe; "neurologically messed-up" doesn't quite fully describe it. (And, I just noticed, more of the fingers of my right hand are working to type this, which is different from even the last time I typed a post, a few days ago)... Anyway, I just got the "BOOM' signal then. So I drank the rest of my gatorade and stood up, and instantly Brain started going "Great Collapse". Um, not actually saying this; it's more like a Red Alert thing going off that I sense as a signal. Hope that makes sense. Well, it did that all the way back to the bedroom. And I noticed my eyes going weird too; they'll sometimes do this squinting/squeezing thing during a migraine, you see. But, with all that going on, I made it back to bed without any collapse! Small victory there. Took my supplements and some fioricet/caffeine, and the CNS sloowly calmed down.

We had a discussion, Lobster and I, as food was being heated (leftovers from Thanksgiving, mmmm:)). Because, I was wondering, if the Red Alert I'd had might not have just been a fear reaction as opposed to an actual warning; I mean I didn't collapse after all. We decided it might be fear; I have been known to mentally put in blocks before, for safety reasons, that don't always get removed till I force the issue. So, Six Hours is the new limit. Hey, progression!

But... oh yeah that was a lot. Whew. You wouldn't really see it to look at me; didn't collapse, didn't get out of breath. Just have to take my word for it!

Ponderable Ponderable

2017-11-22T19:43:46Z

Yesterday during meditation, I heard from a young tree, a sapling really, named Erf. Erf said it had been sent by Treebeard - who's one of my guides - because Treebeard thought Erf could learn a lot from me and vice versa, He's an excitable little thing, very curious about the world. From questioning him, I gathered he lives in Elm Park (says there's art there which Nature did not make, and that the bigger trees speak of a large body of water). Erf's disappointed; so far all that touches him are bugs, and the bigger trees get to have birds nest within their branches and squirrels climb on them, and he wants that. He also wanted to know why it was he has to sleep now, when there are evergreens in the park that don't do that; "why can't I be an evergreen?" I told him Nature plans for things to happen in a certain way, and everyting that lives has their own cycles to go through. And, he had a funny comment on the humans that visit the park: "There are small ones, medium ones, and old ones - just like trees!" Lol.

I told him I'd come visit physically someday; that'll be good. And that he can send to me when he wants to talk, or anything. I haven't figured out what type of tree he is yet, nor where exactly in the park he grows, but I will!

So yeah, that was very interesting. Even if my daily walks currently have to be indoors and for short distances, my "psyhic" senses are returning to what they used to be years ago, when they were pretty potent. I like that.

Meanwhile, in the Real World, There Was This

2017-11-16T03:11:44Z

So today, I've definitely gotten exercize. First with PT took a walk and did some standing yoga... then tonight I helped cook. :) Thank you to Malcolm for showing me that it's possible for me to do that again, and inspiring me; first I did ten minutes of standing in the kitchen which felt weird, and after a bit got too bright to handle so CNS said "nope, nope, time to sit". My wonderful husband got me to my wheelchair and then set me up at the table (lol by Moku's bowl), so I cut bacon there while he shelled shrimp. Absolutely entranced the cat! 

Wow, did my back hurt after that; at least it did on the left where I have better sensation. Dammit, my right hand at least remembers how to hold a knife but isn't strong enough to do it well currently, so I had to keep readjusting. Back in bed now, while my Lobster finishes up the shrimp carbonara we're making.

Frustrated; I remember being able to stand in the kitchen and just chop things with abandon, to have actual strength in my right hand:(. ...To at least be able to halfway cook something without feeling like I'll fall over!

Even so, though, I DID SOMETHING. I COOKED, even if just a little bit!

And Now Back to the Saga of Arudhros

2017-11-14T21:38:11Z

So, last night, after steeling myself and asking for suggestions, I tried that nightmare of a quest solo three more times, and then asked Arudhros's buddy Edhrinel for help. Thank goodness, we did it at last! And so then Arudhros managed to get through the last of Helm's Deep (which HE never hopes to see again), and through Isengard stuffs...

And then, he found them. His people (lol). Did I mention my loopy minstrel loves trees? No, I mean he LOVES TREES. At Isengard's ruins he got to experience the memories of the hobbits and Treebeard, and then of Quickbeam and Treebeard - all as an ent-dude (*G*) - which had him convinced he actually WAS an ent! (Because, it's Arudhros).

So then he went out to the Entwood - and I now have a few screenshots of "Arudhros with the huorn", and "Arudhros fishing with the huorn"... because for most of the ent-rep deeds you get this huorn to follow you around. I learned pretty fast that HUORNS HATE BUGS; literally all Arudhros had to do was walk up to a bug and say, "Go nuts", and wow did it ever! Lol, my husband was helping me out with morning meds stuff at 4am and he cracked up, because all my minstrel was doing was standing there, and this huorn was beating the crap out of a stinger fly!

He has left the Wood for now - because I wanted him to get a little bigger to be able to deal with trolls and such in the Wood, and also because I wanted him to at least have the ability to pass into Gondor - but he can go back whenever he wants, because he now has a port out there As I left it, he's almost 94.

Karlto: An Interlude

2017-11-13T18:41:46Z

So last night, after yoga/bag change/food/comp update that didn't agree with my stomach (dammit, it hates red meat these days), I decided to take a small break from obsessively doing "Secret Ways" over and over (damn you, Lheu Brenin!). I actually spoke with yet another minstrel over on Arkenstone's FB, who pretty much told me yeah it's ROUGH for minstrels doing that quest, and oh yeah she detests Lheu Brenin too. We talked about kiting him around the room as the best defence in this case; I have to agree there. But after all of the other night, yeah I needed a break.

Soooo... I logged on Karlto, my burglar on Laurelin, and sent him off to help Bingo Boffin. He's very convinced that this guy's an idiot, and needs watching, lol. I mean seriously, Bingo got himself captured and then actually FELL into Moria?? Unbecoming of a hobbit is what Karlto "The Great" thinks. Since His Einence believes it is his civic duty to look after "the populace", it's only natural he run aroud attemptin to keep Bingo out of trouble (lol, and he fails a LOT at this). It was interesting to me though; I almost considered getting the Deep Dark Hole for Kumquat's hobbit hole, lol. But well... nah. He does have two beetles, a squirrel, and a goat, thanks to all that nonsense:). Also, he picked up a number of lower-level crafting stuff for Hyrnehyrn (my RK tinker), Minnyl (my spear-weilding warden metalsmith), and Kibrien (my LM scholar). So once we got Bingo to Mirkwood - where His Greatness was parked anyway - we just sent all that stuff off to the respective characters who could use it. Hyrnehyrn worked on her tinkering a bit; Kibrien worked on her scholarly studies, and then for kicks I decided to try and get my little warden to 20 (she was 19).

Wow, that was confusing. At first I had no clue what I was doing; I'd totally forgotten how to play that class! But after maybe 15 minutes of trial and error, I got a passable gambit rotation down. And, she also did some prospecting, which will help her out as well. Haven't tried a skirmish on her yet; I think I'll need to go in the other room to my desktop which is speedier and more easy for manuevering for that. Mounted Combat on this laptop's at least sort of doable, but - no,wardens are complex enough for me. She can wait.

So.... back to my long-suffering minstrel on that server:(. Karlto the Fabulous, Burglar and Chef Extraordinaire, is parked in bed at the hobbit hole after decorating it some more (I mean his cousin didn't do much with the place)! He's also in an RP kin there now, which always proves interesting. (I remember back when the Children of Illvatar still existed and he went to a kin wedding; had a blast dancing, but he was disappointed at not being able to pickpocket the guests*G*). With luck, I'll eventually pull in Arudhros for that kin, Mossy Wanderers, and they can hear all about the ents with which he's fascinated (because, you know, TREES).

First, though, I have to figure out this damn quest and finish Helm's Deep. Somehow, it seems a little incongruous to me from a writing standpoint; after all, he already met them on the Eaves of Fangorn questline. You could say this decision had something to do with "the ents have now woken up and are ready for war" or something like that, I guess, but it does feel off to me even so.

*sigh*

Part Two of The Trials of Arudhros

2017-11-12T20:01:03Z

So... since I can't hold my breath long enough to wait for a reply to my bug report, I decided to try it again. And, I noticed something; the bug seems to happen when I die during the side quest for Flaming Arrows. So, I got some help; a nice hunter went through the Dike with me, and Arudhros survived, and won the battle... and guess what; he was allowed into Deeping Wall. Lol I think the hunter was bored, because he decided to stick around for that one as well! And, my minstrel FINALLY got to advance. Hah, he only died a couple times during the quest where you have to kill off 6 orcs and talk to someone half-dead out in the ruins.

And then... and then, moved on to finding Gimli in the Glittering Caverns. I don't know what the dev was thinking when they designed the quest, "Secret Ways", which you have to do to get to the actual Glittering Caverns battle, but - hm, don't think my words about it would be cleared by the FCC! Arudhros did that quest over, and over, without success. He's managed to get the Dunlendings slayer deed done, doing that quest so much, and is halfway to the advanced version of said deed! And, he's almost 92 as well... all from one stupid quest. Oh yeah; it's Arudhros. So I asked for advice, and got told by another minstrel, "oh yeah, that one's tough for minstrels", and another guy just said "work it out." Um, yeah, been trying that; it's why I asked advice.

So, first I tried adding in a yellow line - he's only ever been redline till now - to see if that might make him more durable - and in fact it made him die more easily! Then, I figured out if I dashed off to the right at the start, I could shoot from a distance, and for once I also set him in Melody stance (he's normally Discord). Used fears and playing dead a lot, and I eventually got it so I can with reasonable accuracy get him to all the way at the very end of this madness, where first you fight him with Gimli as backup... and then you have to solo melee the bastard. Yeah.

Right there is currently Arudhros's death point. He almost made it through last night/early this AM, fearing Lheu Brenin around the room and shooting/shielding/play dead/healing... but not quite. Got VERY close, but no cigar. Ohhh, Arudhros. Just... why, man, WHY? All I want to do is get to hang out with the ents in Fangorn, but unfortunately that's gated behind the Helm's Deep crap. I have fighters who'd love this; my bigger hunter will go bananas all over this fricking instance stuff, my burglar (no clue how he'll survive) will LOVE this, he's all about honor and glory (RP server this). I have a warden over on Landroval (other RP server) who'll be thrilled to mow down orcs, and my guardian over there... yeah, you get the picture. But poor Arudhros? Nope, not his style, dude. This guy might detest orcs, but he loves trees (he's from Mirkwood after all), and fishing, and doing silly stuff. So I kinda realy hate that I am forced to go through this in order to get him where he - and I - wants to be. He might end up as my only character ever to have a port to Dendingle, at least that's my plan for him. So, I have to figure out this nightmare of a quest.

Dammit.

The Trials of Arudhros

2017-11-11T20:36:14Z

Wow. Just... wow. I'd forgotten how bizarre it was to play this guy, how weird stuff just *happens* to him whether I'm trying to be odd or not! "because it's Arudhros" is kind of a staple reponse in our house, and my Lobster' gotten used to hearing about it. He's even occasionally witnessed this a few times; there was that memorable bit of exploration we did in the Misty Mts when HIS minstrel had to keep healing mine (yes, Arudhros is a minstrel), and we literally watched Arudhro's gear fall apart on him! The guy was actually in rags by the time we got back to civilization. Yeah, like I said, I made him odd; it's an RP server:). This is the guy who fishes in dangerous zones like Angmar (or tries to), who occasionally writes weird tunes at the Prancing Pony, who hates dwarves because of his father Thranduil (mother was a maid)... who takes "selfies" in the middle of battle...

He had many chances for the "selfie" thing last night! I swear, I've had quests bug on me before, but wow... Helm's Deep book quests seem to be totally screwed up for this character. I literally spent all night talking with this GM because every third part, the thing would bug on me. Arudhros literally now has a screenshot of a bunch of orcs just hanging out, frozen, in the middle of the first battle! Here's what happened: got through the buildup to battle, and started Helm's Dike. First time around, I managed one side quest but lost the battle. Went again, got to 87% done (I figured, he's a minstrel, he can shoot for distance, so he was just mowing down invaders), side quests popped up but I ignored them because I wanted to get through this, but around the time the Flaming Arrow quest popped, I was killed. Then, resurrected; right in front of a few frozen orcs which I killed, and an arrow bucket. I'd gotten a message about something failing but hadn't been kicked. Finally left the instance, tried to restart and got sent right back to where I'd just been. Left instance, asked aroun, and on someone's advice, logged/relogged, started a completely different instance and left it. That seemed to reset the Helm's Dike one. Got to 87% again, side quest about arrows popped again, died and was reanimated again by frozen orcs (took screenshot). Sooo... I finally submitted a ticket. Very helpful GM looked at the problem and decided it would be best to finish it for me. So, ok, that should have worked...

...And I then found the book had disappeared! Not in quest log, nothing. Contacted GM again, who gave it back with advancement. So I then did the small stuff in the middle, and was told to go talk to Aragorn to help him. Quest tracker showed Aragorn to be waaaay to the north of the Hornburg. I wandered around, tried to look for him at Deeping Coomb, but nothing. Went back to the Hornburg where I found it to be daylight, as in the "before the battle" daylight. Couldn't find anything to change that, so for kicks I tried to find Aragorn where he originally was; yes he was there, but couldn't click on or talk to him. Contacted GM again, who put me in the right place. So did the thing about helping Aragorn, and got a bestowal from Legolas to run Deeping Wall. So I went to the BB menu again... and Deeping Wall wouln't load. Said I hadn't completed Helm's Dike (technically true but from a programming POV it would be impossible for my minstrel to even be talking to Legolas at that point if Helm's Dike hadn't been done; it's a thread, you don't just jump around in it (unless you're a programmer and/or in God mode)). So... while waiting for GM reply, Arudhros serenaded Legolas with the three instruments he always lugs around, danced... (like I said, Arudhros is normally weird)... back to the GM, who must have been sick of me by this point! GM tried several times to fix THIS issue, without success, and we were both confused as to the message I kept getting. So finally, they told me to file a bug report.

Which, I've done. Unfortunately Arudhros needs to finish Helm's Deep because that'll lead him to Isengard where he'll eventually get a nice quest to start hanging out with the ents and gaining rep for them in Entwood. So he *has* to get through Book 13! I looked online today and found you can do the BB's in any timeline, so maybe if I just run Deeping Wall as a two-man fellowship with someone? Haven't found anybody with the same issues as I've had, but, well... "It's Arudhros". My great thanks though to GM Crane, who stuck with me through all this for hours, till it finally just got too bad.

*Sigh*

Finding My Way Again

2017-11-10T19:34:07Z

lol, kind of having an SCA identity crisis here; on a kingdom level, I know what to do at events. On a Shire level... not so much. I'm not the Bardic Guildmistress anymore, dunno if people would want one again around here. And, I'm also not the Herald anymore! When I joined the SCA back in 1997, back in Carolingia, I just kind of ran around doing bardic stuff, and then when I moved to Quintavia just ended up doing service as both. Buuuut, now what? I'm sort of feeling like I did back when, and it's very weird. We can't go to the Shire's upcoming demo anyway due to scheduling, but even so I don't quite know what I'd do anyway!

Event Rundown (I'm BaaaaackG)

2017-11-07T01:14:14Z

We survived! And, Crown was AWESOME. Sorry, folks, but I am just not built to do the whole Consort thing, as much of an honor as it was to be asked once long ago. *G* Helping with shield check-in, though, and then helping out the kitchen so poor Master Aleksei and Baron Fergus didn't get too overwhelmed was great!! (lol Milord Hector says he has his very own "No shit, there I was" tale now, but I'll leave that for him to tell). The food, guys, was AMAZING. I had a blast in the kitchen; due to my own illness crap I hadn't gotten to cook in any fashion in YEARS, so you have no idea what that meant to me! And I even got to work with Lady Elspeth who I rarely see! I think we've made the Shire proud:) (I hope, at least)

Yes, we did get to see the final bout, which was pretty funny to watch, as Matthew kept throwing himself on the ground and eventually (the newly crowned) Prince Brennan jumped him! Let's hear it for our new Prince and Princess: VIVAT! VIVAT! VIVAT!!

And... the final Court of the day was very very neat. It felt totally weird to be *watching* Court and not *heralding* it. Wow, that was bizarre. But then again, I got to explain to Milord what was happening when he had questions, so I was still useful:). He got to see his first Knighting, for one thing, and another man was sent off on his own quest (which I hear will end at Birka). I myself got to see new Orders that hadn't existed the last time I was around, including Order of the Silver Mantle which I was thrilled to hear someone get an award for regarding thrown weapons!! The Kids' Toy Box thing was indeed as hilarious as we'd heard; I was thinking "omigods, that poor guy is sooo dead!" while laughing my head off! And Master Aleksei's scroll... wow. Just wow. Dude, I have *no* clue where you find the time; both Milord and I were wondering that one! Because THAT SCROLL WAS AWESOME! I'm sorry we didn't get a picture of it. We also saw a whole contingincy of people from the Middle Kingdom wishing their man well in his new home here, something very unusual but quite nice.

Ok, my system did kinda give out on me on the way home, and I'm still recovering, but I swear I did take a couple breaks during the day.

My own small thanks extend to Lady Rosina and her lord who were kind enough to give us a ride, and put up with me. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Mistress Suba Al-Hadid for making that happen! Milord said to me he was interested in volunteering to run lists, by the way:). To Master Aleksei and Baron Fergus who made the greatest feast; I reeeeeeally missed SCA food! Another thanks to Lady Elspeth for helping me get to the bathroom when we were both covered in cinnamon and sugar (that was hilarious)! ... and to an unknown but very kind lady who helped me within the bathroom itself, my apologies to those two whose way I was blocking (grr, cumbersome wheelchair). Definitely my thanks extend to the people of Begental for hosting; guys, amazing job! (I hope *both* Your Excellencies finally got some sleep, lol)!

And, of course, to my wonderful, adorable lord Hector - rofl, I've mentally done one bit of conflict-checking, as there was a certain fighter present with a counterchanged azure/argent lobster on his very lovely shield, so I've filed the picture away for future notice:) - who helped me out a great deal at Crown. Now, my dear, you need to find your own path within the Kingdom; I know you said you were just drinking it all in, and yeah that one's a big event so there's a ton to do that with, but I don't want you to be spending the entire day worrying about me, much as I love you:). Go play in your own way, hon.

I haven't been around in years, and many things have changed, but I still LOVE the SCA. All of me do. There are many new people in the Shire and the Kingdom in general, I see, but you guys should ALL know this: I am ever at your service (and if I don't know the answer, I can direct you to someone who will).

- Lady Brigit of Longwood

a litmus test, if you will

2017-11-01T21:06:06Z

So, to do NaNo or not to do NaNo, that is the question. I've that novella to bloom into a novel, is the thing. Dunno. Lol the otherr day on Arkenstone I was talking about this with another writer, how we both *should* be writing...

Meanwhile, IRL, yesterday I totally overdid it, as my ssystem clearly stated by the end of ritual. You see, I needed to get bloodwork done, so we went to UMASS to do that: up the stairs, down the stairs, cab to hospital. Did bloodwork. Then as we both needed meds refilled, we went to CVS, also by cab, because we couldn't find the bus stop (gotta love Worcester sometimes). Got meds. Went over to Big Y and got some foodstuffs to tide us over till the third of Nov. Saw dressed-up folks starting around then, including the cutest little pumpkin in Big Y! Went home by bus, up and down the stairs to get in where we got yelled at by Moku "What are you DOING out at this hour??" Actually walked to and from the bathroom twice, where I found yet again my thighs hurt like hell on the toilet. I remember (so does my PT) this happened before, and cleared up on its own. Maybe a sciatic nerve pinch (damn, still can't do yoga because these colostomy bags fall off at the drop of a hat)! Did ritual, and I was *planning* on putting out the apple by myself, which theoretically I should be able to do now. If I can walk at least a little o my cane - spent most of the day in wheelchair, yes - then I should be able to do this one little thing. Right? And that was the point when my system said, "Ohhh, no you don't!" and I got barrelled into with a wave of nausea and some pain, and had to go back to bed. Grr.

Not looking like I'm getting to Crown, which is especially aggravating since it's RIGHT NEXT DOOR. And, I really wanted to help out; I am still a herald after all, just not *the* Herald. And, I know a ton of people over there in Bergental - rofl, it's even where I got my AoA - and a Shire member and a good friend of mine is in charge of the kitchen, so I could help out there too, and stuff. But, no it's not looking likely:(. Brigit, who's also very disappointed - in case you guys never knew, I the quieter more researchy self *goes* to events, but Brigit's the one who deals with public situations. SHE can get up on a stage in front of 300 people and sing; I actually have horrific stage fright! - well anyway Brigit did point out that it might be a good thing; give us time to get even more strength/stamina (so nobody passes out after an event, or gods forbid during one.) Maybe try to go to some Shire things, little stuff, till then, when that's possible. And, hopefully Istvan can find my OSCAR account so I can work on ILOIs again. Sigh. But it's just very frustrating!! There's even people there I wanted to be able to cheer on! Grrrrr.

So anyway, NaNo... no NaNo... that is the question. And then there's LOTRO...

working towards - various things

2017-10-27T22:19:35Z

IRL: well, today I got up with PT and managed to go all the way outside again, on a cane mind you, and even managed a bit of a way out into the parking lot before my balance started to go and I had to come back inside (grr... I want to be able to fully switch to cane and go farther!!)... Like, you know, take walks, stomp around event sites (I swear, sometime I'll be there)... 

We also still have the issue with the current colostomy pouches; (my PT agrees; the new company VNA's been working with has very low-quality stuff) and their stability's awful, so we ordered from the company we used to use before, and they'll hopefully arrive soon so I can feel more able to do stuff like oh, yoga, without them falling off (grr). Fingers crossed here (which I can do again, thanks to some OT).

Ha ha, speaking of fingers, ironically enough, it seems all this playing LOTRO on my laptop here has been stimulating different fingers to work again. The good side of this is that they ARE trying to work; the oddly bad side is that they're instinctively trying to work like they normally would, and well they're kind of warped and a couple are trigger fingers by now, so it makes things bizarre. My CNS is getting a workout, between all the brain-finger connection and the mental confusion brought on by it. Sheesh. Weird process!

Meanwhile, in LOTRO-land (wow it was laggy on Arkenstone last night)... Panglyn's to-do list: 1)level to 90 (at which point I'm getting West Gondor xpac, thanks Lyle:))... 2)finish last two books (because I haven't done it yet on any of the Big Three)... 3)work on rep with either Hytbold (yes, I did finally check it out on her and you're right, it's easier) or Helm's Deep so I'll have a port somewhere closer to the border of Gondor than Stangard... so there's stuff for her to work on before she goes over the border; my Laurelin minstrel is communing with trees over in the Entwood before HE goes, so it'll be my runekeeper on Landroval who's already parked just past the Paths, who'll advance first (when I decide to actually send him lol).

For now, Panglyn's 89 in Fenmarsh so off I go again.

Grinding Toward Crown

2017-10-19T02:40:27Z

Yes, yes, so it's a gaming term. Anyway, the sinusitis has been treated with antibiotic and feels like it's on its way out. In the meantime, I've lost weight - I'm now down to 103 which is a baaad weight for me (need some padding to be able to fight illness/flares). So, raising the caloric intake.

But anyway, back to the title: I can now sit up for five hours at a time, do a hell of a lot more yoga than before (even a little standing yoga, now), and climb stairs up and down. Of course I'm working on raising the "upright" limit as much as possible. But, no pun intended, I've made some great strides so far! So, I'm confident I can do this.

I'm a Celt, after all. And I want to see my Kingdom again!

Dammit.

Ow, Rain, and Other Things

2017-10-11T03:21:57Z

So Attempt II went better than the first, despite the fact we both got pretty soaked out there. Lol, we saw what my husband calls a rare beast: The Happy Neurlogist! He was glad I was in a wheelchair, you see, and off the stretcher. I think that this trip went better because I only had to be out sitting up for two hours; last time stretched right over my limit as it took four and a half. Must work on increasing that, naturally.

And then, last night was a horro show. We figured out it's likely not a tooth thing because numbing stuff doesn't take the pain away. More like sinusitis; the pain which was awful that night stretched from around the area of my left ear to all the way around to that point on the jawline that's just under the ear. And, the left part of my lower lip began to feel full, like there was stuff in there. Couldn't chew without pain; couldn't talk without it; ended up with a migraine:(.

So, we called the doctor today and he's put me on doxycicline. We'll see how this goes.

Pain went down during the day, from like eleven to eight or so... did two laps and some standing yoga with PT. I also saw the new therpist, who seems nice. I was actually able to talk to her a bit about what happened, so that's a plus, and she answered any concerns the alts were having (I did warn her about my very protective and tough Protector).

Tomorrow, though. that might be dicey again; I have to yet once more go NPO at midnight so the docs at UMASS can do a scan of my abdomen/pelvis, because of the tumors:(. Fingers crossed that I don't end up as messed-up as I'm worried I'll be! NPO at home, when I can immediately get stuff done and therefore be able to drink/eat again is one thing; NPO at the doctor's when they've already advised me waiting times might be extended, plus a painful infection which is drying me out like nobody's business, is another.