Today, I’m going to talk to you about the real reason charging money feels like dread and guilt, and gives you a sinking feeling in your stomach. (Even when you know your work helps people.)

I know because this is a major problem I have, too. In a lot of ways, it’s ruining my life.

The voice in my head: “You’re not worth it!”

In my first iteration of Hustling Housewife, before I left, I turned payments on and got some takers. But there was a problem.

I felt trapped, guilty, and unworthy of the payments. “What can I offer to these people who are paying me that’s special? I don’t have anything special.”

So I quickly removed the payments and returned the money.

This “you’re not worthy” voice is the same one that showed up when I wanted something as a kid. I already had fear around asking for something, and then when I was told no, I internalized it as not being worthy enough.

For example, it took me all the courage I could muster to ask my mom to take me to a dermatologist when I was a teenager. “Ask your dad. I already paid for your braces.” (My mom and dad are divorced.)

Do you think I got up the courage again to ask my dad? No. I just quietly suffered instead…

I quickly learned that money causes problems.

And even now, as a grown woman who loves writing, who gives my all every time I create, and who actually helps people, the old programming still tries to drag me back.

This is a major psychological problem, and I know I’m not the only one who suffers from it. I see it all over the web with people who write “just for the love of it” and complain that other people charge money for their work.

It feels like a logical thought process. “I want to help people, so why would I charge them?” But it’s really just leftover conditioning from childhood.

I learned long ago that wanting more meant taking from someone else, disappointing someone, or getting in trouble. That version of me is trying to protect me by shrinking me so I’m hidden away.

But…

Money guilt isn’t about morality (it’s just old programming)

I’m no longer letting my inner child’s guilt run my adult woman’s business. I’m choosing a new path. Today I’m deciding:

Receiving money doesn’t hurt people, and it helps me give more.

Money isn’t a moral test.

It’s permission and support. It’s energy coming back to me so I can give more energetically. When I charge for my work, I’m not taking something away. I’m creating an exchange that honors me and the person on the other side.

Just take a look at this post from 𝐷𝑖𝑛𝑜 | 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 🇺🇸 about The Benjamin Franklin Effect.

The idea is that Benjamin Franklin used a psychological “trick” on one of his political rivals. He asked his rival for a favor. He wanted to borrow his rare and valuable book. The rival agreed, and after, Franklin noticed his foe became more cordial toward him.

From the article:

“The truth is a stronger form of rapport is built when your audience does something FOR (or with)YOU.”

This line hit me the hardest:

“You need to get your audience to pay for your content as quickly as possible or they won’t respect you.”

Looking back on some of my own transactions, it makes sense. When you pay for something, you treat it better. It means more than a freebie.

Time to rewrite the code

As soon as I read that line about respect, something clicked for me. I felt myself stepping into the version of me who isn’t apologizing for wanting a richer life, whether that’s emotionally, creatively, or financially.

I’m done performing worthiness tests. I create because it’s who I am, not because I’m trying to earn approval.

I will not let guilt dictate my reality anymore. I’m choosing the voice in my head that helps me build my future, not the one trying to keep me safe because it fears it.

Our brains are like pieces of software, and they need to be updated with new programming that serves us better. And this reprogramming is now the core purpose of Hustling Housewife. We’re hustling our brains into a better, more fulfilling, magical, (and yes!), richer future.

Final thoughts

Reprogramming takes time and energy. This is the new work.

This new version of me is unfamiliar, and the old me is going to try to claw its way back to keep me safe. So it’s going to feel like pretending for a bit. But I’m going to hammer all these points over and over.

I’m going to brainwash myself to success, and my sincere hope is that you’ll get brainwashed right along with me…

If you like this post, you’ll love what I have in store for paid subscribers.

That’s where I go deeper into the weird:

• Experimenting

• Reality re-coding

• Identity shifting

• Success stories

• A bit of quantum leaping (but a lot of tiny stepping into a new reality)

• Examining the messy, uncomfortable middle between the now and a new identity

It’s where I share the stuff I can’t say in public (mostly because of internet trolls). It’s where you get the raw, unfiltered version of the transformation, and where we reprogram our brains together…on purpose!

Let’s go! 🤘🏻