Hey White People, Try This!

With the murder of George Floyd and the resulting unrest in Minneapolis dominating the news this past week, it has created a tense atmosphere across social media, even more than before. And as always, the loudest voices are the most polarizing ones with some proclaiming that All Cops Are Bastards and some proclaiming that looters should be shot on site. But there is a quiet middle ground that is still taking this all in, who do not know how to respond, or even if they should respond.

These are people who feel so removed from Minneapolis that they only see and hear what is going on through social media and the news. It is not a pretty picture.

I can say with confidence that most of these people are horrified and angry at the murder of George Floyd and want justice for him. I can also say with confidence that most of these people believe the ongoing unrest and riots in the Twin Cities is a bridge too far. And finally, I can say with confidence that most of these people are whites whose experience with racial injustice is minimum, at most.

In my life, I have lived in Celina, Ohio, I have lived in Columbus, Ohio, and I've lived just outside of Chicago, Illinois. I have been blessed to have interacted with people from all walks of life, to have personal conversations with them, and to learn why they believe what they believe.

This doesn't mean unchallenged agreement with their opinions or outlooks, but it does mean taking the time to understand what formed those beliefs.

Growing up in Celina, my exposure to Blacks, Hispanics, and Asians was nearly nonexistent. My dad has a humorous short story about a time we shared an elevator with a black gentleman when I was 4.

But growing up in a small town in rural Ohio, People of Color are almost fictional. They are people who live in big cities or in southern states, but not your small town. So the most exposure you get is on the news, which isn't very flattering right now, to say the least.

Getting to travel the country, I had the opportunity to see so much more than west central Ohio. Big cities, small cities, Northeast, Southeast, East Coast, West Coast. You get to meet and converse with more and more People of Color. And even those short conversations help bridge any mental gap in them being fictional to them being real.

When I attended The™️ Ohio State University, I shared classes and work spaces with significantly more People of Color. Graduating from college at the age of 30, I was also a fish out of water among a population of young 20-somethings. We were able to share interesting stories about our upbringings, our challenges, and our journeys. For some, the journey was easier, for others, it was not.

After graduation, I moved to Bensenville, a suburb of Chicago. Here, the population is predominantly Hispanic. At my first job after college, I had more Black and Hispanic coworkers than you can count in all of Celina. I recall conversations with our Black Senior Accountant about the show "Black-ish" and how relatable that show was to her. At my next job, my closest coworker was a devout Muslim, whom I had fun conversations about how awful the Bears offense was. And at my most recent job, if I brought in baked goods for my Hispanic coworkers, they would counter with tamales the following week. And even now, as I am unemployed and actively searching, one of my best friends, an Asian-American, welcomed me into his home so I did not have to be alone as Illinois was in lockdown.

But even now, seeing what is happening in Minneapolis; it is hard to watch. While many are quick to condemn, many more look at what is going on and wonder what can I do to make it so that less of this shit happens in the future. I guess that is what I'm going for in this post: What can white people do.

Each and every friend and coworker of mine who isn't white has dealt with different levels of racism in their life, and not always from white people and not from all white people. And they are hurtful memories. Maybe they do not want to talk about it, maybe they do. But do not jump start into race when interacting with them. Conversations about sports, the construction on the highway coming into town, and their new car are a lot more interesting and fun anyway.

When you are judged by your skin color for much of your life, it becomes a sensitive topic. It's human nature to find solidarity with people who share your most vilified trait. So when race or religion does come up, take the time to listen, even asking questions. Do not jump to counterarguments because I promise you, they've heard it all before.

And finally, get to know them as a person. You will be amazed at how quickly a stereotype will be destroyed and how much you actually have in common.

It comes down to the little things. We can all make big grand gestures about how Black Lives Matter, but it does not do a damn bit of good with that gesture is coming from behind a computer screen from three states away. Be that ear, be that friend, and as cliché as it is, it won't take long to learn that differences are only skin deep.