Knifeclaw Company at the cathouse
(Note: narrated by Nulu, as usual.)
Captain Hraith and his crew march into the station’s restaurant and choose a corner to sprawl out in. Plates heaping with food of various sorts are placed on the side table by the station’s serving staff, and the Knifeclaw Company crew gather and laugh and rest.
When they’re done, Hraith gets up.
Hraith: “I have to go report to Admiral Koscha. Go on without me.”
Maihi: “Vou and I are thinking of turning in. Don’t hurry back, guys.”
[Eh. Unfortunately that means I’ll have to accompany the crew to the ladies’ house so that we may allow Ciesil and Maihi their privacy.]
The group splits up. Nulu tags along behind Jodhrakt, Ucht-alau, Kruugh, and Fsau.
They all stop in front of the ladies’ house door and peer in, sniffing curiously or eagerly at it.
Jodhrakt: “Who’s first? Shall we go by seniority?”
Ucht-alau turns to look at Nulu. Nulu shrugs back at him.
Nulu: “Do as you will, men.”
Kruugh: “I was… um… maybe I shouldn’t do this either.”
Jodhrakt: “Why not, kid? Captain’s treat! What have you got to lose?”
Kruugh: “I’m just not sure I, uh…”
Fsau: “Nav, don’t worry. The ladies are pros. They don’t mind inexperience.”
Jodhrakt: “Yeah, listen to Fsau. He knows.”
Fsau glares at Jodhrakt, who grins mischievously back. Kruugh continues to look worried. Nulu stands in back, a step or two distant, and waits for his crew to get it over with. Ucht-alau is looking stoic and good-natured as usual.
Ucht-alau: “Tell you what, Kruugh. I’ll go first, and you can go ahead and claim last place. That will give you plenty of time to make up your mind. If you decide against it, we’ll go back to quarters. No harm done.”
Kruugh: “Yes, sir.”
Kruugh is crouched on the floor against the wall next to Nulu, who has settled down for the long haul. The other three are inside the ladies’ house. Ucht-alau comes out, straightening the top of his uniform, and looks cheerfully at Kruugh.
Ucht-alau: “All yours, Kruugh, if you want.”
Kruugh: “I… yeah, sure.”
Kruugh timidly enters the building.
Later on, he and Nulu are tagging along behind the other three when Kruugh turns and touches Nulu’s arm.
Kruugh: “Lieutenant Nulu, sir? I’d like to speak with you privately. May I buy you a drink?”
[I wonder what this is about.]
Nulu: “Of course, Specialist.”
Nulu and Kruugh sit on a cushion, cradling drinks in their paws. Nulu scowls down into his cup. Kruugh looks very nervous.
Kruugh: “Sir, I suppose this question is of a very personal nature. If I’m overstepping my bounds, please let me know.”
Nulu: “Go ahead, Specialist.”
Kruugh: “It’s common knowledge that you don’t indulge in the ladies because of your loss. I don’t really have anything like that going on for me; not even close. But I was thinking upon the practice of being celibate for long periods of time, just for my own reasons, and I was wondering what it was like, having done it awhile.”
[Ah. I can piece together what happened in there. It went something like this.]
Imagined flashback. Kruugh is entering the girl’s room. The girl has on a sheer, revealing garment and is sitting on the mat looking up at him invitingly. When she sees his disfigurement, she hardly blinks. She is well trained to stifle any knee erk reactions.
He sits on the mat beside him. She reaches forward and begins to finger his sash, but he pulls away.
Kruugh: “Wait.”
Girl: “All right. Just let me know what and when. I’m all yours. Have you done this before?”
Kruugh: “Well, no, not really. And ‘m just… I just have to figure things out first.”
Girl: “Of course. Let me help. What do you have in mind? Do you need a starting point? A suggestion? Do you want me to start?”
Kruugh: “Maybe. No. Yes. There’s just one thing.”
Girl: “Yes?”
Kruugh: “Is it… hm… is it okay if we just talk?”
The girl drapes one arm over Kruugh’s shoulder – the left one, the one wth fur still on it. She smiles.
Girl: “Sure! Of course. You’re paying me!”
Kruugh looks slightly more relieved.
Girl: “What do you want to talk about? Got any good war stories? I bet you do.”
Kruugh: “I don’t want to talk about that. Sorry. I hope you don’t mind.”
The girl shrugs and smiles some more.
Girl: “Nope, not a bit. It’s all good to me.”
Kruugh: “Maybe you could tell me about your family Do you have any siblings?”
The imaginary flashback fades out, returning to Kruugh and Nulu nursing their drinks.
[And so on. I can tell because he did not exit the ladies’ facility smelling like sex.]
Kruugh: “So I was considering trying out celibacy for a while myself, and I was wondering – how does it work in the long term? Is it hard? Are there any secrets? How long can a man go before it becomes problematic?”
Nulu looks decidedly uncomfortable.
[What answer can I give him? Especially after my transgression. He deserves something.]
[Oh, to hell with it all.]
Nulu: “The only thing it takes to be celibate is to not have relations with a woman. If you don’t have relations, you’re celibate.”
Kruugh: “Oh. Well, yeah. But is there more to it than that? Some self-control techniques?”
Nulu: “Self-control is the same regardless of what act you apply it to. Whether it’s fearlessness while scaling the side of a building, resisting killing your enemy, or holding yourself to celibacy. There is no difference. You simply decide you won’t do it, and you don’t.”
Kruugh: “Oh, okay.”
Nulu: “Is that sufficient?”
Kruugh: “I guess. But what if I don’t wish to be celibate, but feel obligated to against my will?”
Nulu: “Because of your disfigurement?”
Kruugh: “Yeah. When I went in there, I was overcome with guilt. It doesn’t matter that she’d been paid to touch me. Just the idea that I was forcing her to touch bare skin made my heart break. It’s cruel. She was such a nice girl, too. I couldn’t be so cruel to her.”
Nulu: “That’s a conundrum. If you consider the very act of physical contact an act of cruelty…”
Kruugh: “I know. But it IS cruel. Nobody in their right mind would willingly want to touch me.”
Nulu: “Well… I don’t know about that.”
Kruugh: “You wish to tell me I’m wrong. Unfortunately, I’m not. It’s something I have to come to terms with myself now. I’m damaged goods. I should be grateful I came away with my life. I shouldn’t dwell on the extras in life.”
Nulu nods and sips his drink.
Kruugh: “It pisses me off that a woman’s affections have now become an extra. Graah. It sucks more than words.”
Nulu: “Yeah.”
Kruugh: “Sorry, sir. I shouldn’t be dumping on you like this. I just… I just…. I shouldn’t.”
Nulu frowns and shrugs.
Nulu: “Eh. No bother.”
Captain Hraith and his crew march into the station’s restaurant and choose a corner to sprawl out in. Plates heaping with food of various sorts are placed on the side table by the station’s serving staff, and the Knifeclaw Company crew gather and laugh and rest.
When they’re done, Hraith gets up.
Hraith: “I have to go report to Admiral Koscha. Go on without me.”
Maihi: “Vou and I are thinking of turning in. Don’t hurry back, guys.”
[Eh. Unfortunately that means I’ll have to accompany the crew to the ladies’ house so that we may allow Ciesil and Maihi their privacy.]
The group splits up. Nulu tags along behind Jodhrakt, Ucht-alau, Kruugh, and Fsau.
They all stop in front of the ladies’ house door and peer in, sniffing curiously or eagerly at it.
Jodhrakt: “Who’s first? Shall we go by seniority?”
Ucht-alau turns to look at Nulu. Nulu shrugs back at him.
Nulu: “Do as you will, men.”
Kruugh: “I was… um… maybe I shouldn’t do this either.”
Jodhrakt: “Why not, kid? Captain’s treat! What have you got to lose?”
Kruugh: “I’m just not sure I, uh…”
Fsau: “Nav, don’t worry. The ladies are pros. They don’t mind inexperience.”
Jodhrakt: “Yeah, listen to Fsau. He knows.”
Fsau glares at Jodhrakt, who grins mischievously back. Kruugh continues to look worried. Nulu stands in back, a step or two distant, and waits for his crew to get it over with. Ucht-alau is looking stoic and good-natured as usual.
Ucht-alau: “Tell you what, Kruugh. I’ll go first, and you can go ahead and claim last place. That will give you plenty of time to make up your mind. If you decide against it, we’ll go back to quarters. No harm done.”
Kruugh: “Yes, sir.”
Kruugh is crouched on the floor against the wall next to Nulu, who has settled down for the long haul. The other three are inside the ladies’ house. Ucht-alau comes out, straightening the top of his uniform, and looks cheerfully at Kruugh.
Ucht-alau: “All yours, Kruugh, if you want.”
Kruugh: “I… yeah, sure.”
Kruugh timidly enters the building.
Later on, he and Nulu are tagging along behind the other three when Kruugh turns and touches Nulu’s arm.
Kruugh: “Lieutenant Nulu, sir? I’d like to speak with you privately. May I buy you a drink?”
[I wonder what this is about.]
Nulu: “Of course, Specialist.”
Nulu and Kruugh sit on a cushion, cradling drinks in their paws. Nulu scowls down into his cup. Kruugh looks very nervous.
Kruugh: “Sir, I suppose this question is of a very personal nature. If I’m overstepping my bounds, please let me know.”
Nulu: “Go ahead, Specialist.”
Kruugh: “It’s common knowledge that you don’t indulge in the ladies because of your loss. I don’t really have anything like that going on for me; not even close. But I was thinking upon the practice of being celibate for long periods of time, just for my own reasons, and I was wondering what it was like, having done it awhile.”
[Ah. I can piece together what happened in there. It went something like this.]
Imagined flashback. Kruugh is entering the girl’s room. The girl has on a sheer, revealing garment and is sitting on the mat looking up at him invitingly. When she sees his disfigurement, she hardly blinks. She is well trained to stifle any knee erk reactions.
He sits on the mat beside him. She reaches forward and begins to finger his sash, but he pulls away.
Kruugh: “Wait.”
Girl: “All right. Just let me know what and when. I’m all yours. Have you done this before?”
Kruugh: “Well, no, not really. And ‘m just… I just have to figure things out first.”
Girl: “Of course. Let me help. What do you have in mind? Do you need a starting point? A suggestion? Do you want me to start?”
Kruugh: “Maybe. No. Yes. There’s just one thing.”
Girl: “Yes?”
Kruugh: “Is it… hm… is it okay if we just talk?”
The girl drapes one arm over Kruugh’s shoulder – the left one, the one wth fur still on it. She smiles.
Girl: “Sure! Of course. You’re paying me!”
Kruugh looks slightly more relieved.
Girl: “What do you want to talk about? Got any good war stories? I bet you do.”
Kruugh: “I don’t want to talk about that. Sorry. I hope you don’t mind.”
The girl shrugs and smiles some more.
Girl: “Nope, not a bit. It’s all good to me.”
Kruugh: “Maybe you could tell me about your family Do you have any siblings?”
The imaginary flashback fades out, returning to Kruugh and Nulu nursing their drinks.
[And so on. I can tell because he did not exit the ladies’ facility smelling like sex.]
Kruugh: “So I was considering trying out celibacy for a while myself, and I was wondering – how does it work in the long term? Is it hard? Are there any secrets? How long can a man go before it becomes problematic?”
Nulu looks decidedly uncomfortable.
[What answer can I give him? Especially after my transgression. He deserves something.]
[Oh, to hell with it all.]
Nulu: “The only thing it takes to be celibate is to not have relations with a woman. If you don’t have relations, you’re celibate.”
Kruugh: “Oh. Well, yeah. But is there more to it than that? Some self-control techniques?”
Nulu: “Self-control is the same regardless of what act you apply it to. Whether it’s fearlessness while scaling the side of a building, resisting killing your enemy, or holding yourself to celibacy. There is no difference. You simply decide you won’t do it, and you don’t.”
Kruugh: “Oh, okay.”
Nulu: “Is that sufficient?”
Kruugh: “I guess. But what if I don’t wish to be celibate, but feel obligated to against my will?”
Nulu: “Because of your disfigurement?”
Kruugh: “Yeah. When I went in there, I was overcome with guilt. It doesn’t matter that she’d been paid to touch me. Just the idea that I was forcing her to touch bare skin made my heart break. It’s cruel. She was such a nice girl, too. I couldn’t be so cruel to her.”
Nulu: “That’s a conundrum. If you consider the very act of physical contact an act of cruelty…”
Kruugh: “I know. But it IS cruel. Nobody in their right mind would willingly want to touch me.”
Nulu: “Well… I don’t know about that.”
Kruugh: “You wish to tell me I’m wrong. Unfortunately, I’m not. It’s something I have to come to terms with myself now. I’m damaged goods. I should be grateful I came away with my life. I shouldn’t dwell on the extras in life.”
Nulu nods and sips his drink.
Kruugh: “It pisses me off that a woman’s affections have now become an extra. Graah. It sucks more than words.”
Nulu: “Yeah.”
Kruugh: “Sorry, sir. I shouldn’t be dumping on you like this. I just… I just…. I shouldn’t.”
Nulu frowns and shrugs.
Nulu: “Eh. No bother.”