It’s been a year.

In March 2025, I got dumped.

The truth? I felt the disconnect months before it ended. I was considering ending it myself but ya know. I’m one of those that will try everything to make it work when I love someone.

Every week during our check-ins they would say, “Everything is fine.”
But my gut had already started whispering something different.

You know that quiet pull inside your body that says something isn’t right here?

That.

My nervous system knew long before the relationship ended.

Still, I stayed grounded.
I stayed honest.
I stayed present.

But eventually what happens in many relationships happened in this one too:
communication slowly disappeared and the emotional gap widened.

Then came the ghosting.

No response about my things ( I legit just asked for my stuff back
No maturity.
Just silence.

Looking back now with distance and clarity, I can admit something that was hard to see at the time:

That person probably didn’t even really like me the way I loved them. In fact, I’m pretty sure they didn’t love me at all.

And that realization carries its own kind of pain.

Because the truth is — I was deeply in love… and in the end, I felt foolish.

But here’s what my practice gave me

My yoga practice had already started preparing me.

Sitting with myself each day in stillness, breath, and awareness made it impossible to ignore the signals.

I could feel their energy pulling away.
I could feel the shift in how they showed up.
Something felt off, and my body knew it.

So when the moment finally came — when they said they no longer wanted to be in the relationship — it hurt.

But not as catastrophically as I once feared it would.

Because I already had something many people don’t yet have when a relationship ends:

A toolkit.

A way to regulate my nervous system when grief hit.
A way to sit with the waves instead of drowning in them.

One year later

Now that a full year has passed, I can say something honestly:

My life improved drastically after that breakup.

In the year that followed I:

• finished school
• became an E-RYT 500 and C-IAYT yoga therapist
• opened my Yoga Alliance registered yoga school
• was hired as Studio and Spa Manager at the physical location where I teach here in the city

I even met a few new people who love on me in beautiful ways.

And here’s the part that surprised me the most.

What initially felt like failure…
what initially felt like a huge emotional setback… turned out to be a massive course correction.

It was simply time for both of us to move on.

I don’t know how my ex is doing now, and honestly that’s okay.
I hope they’re doing well. ( I really really do)

But I can say this about myself with full confidence:

I am doing better than ever, so I thank them for letting me go. Because I was so in love, I wasn’t ready to let go when I really needed to. (Another lesson I learned we will come back to that one)

The deeper lesson

That relationship taught me something I will carry for the rest of my life.

Trust your gut.

There were things about that person — and about the dynamic between us — that I sensed early on.

But I tried to override that knowing.

I tried to give more patience.
More grace.
More understanding.

And here’s the boundary that emerged on the other side of that experience:

Never the fuck again.

Never the fuck again will I love more than I am loved.

Never the fuck again will I put my dreams, goals, and direction on hold to support someone who is not equally supporting me.

Not because I don’t want love.

I absolutely want love.

In many forms.

But what I no longer want is love that doesn’t feel good.

You know the kind I’m talking about.

Love that feels conditional.
Love that feels like service instead of reciprocity.
Love where someone sees you primarily as someone to meet their needs.

That’s not the love I’m interested in anymore.

What I want now is love that feels like support.

Love that feels mutual.
Love where someone actually sees who you are and how powerful you are.

The people who held me

One of the biggest gifts during that transition was my mfkn best friend.

She was there for me immediately.

In many ways we both started a return-to-self journey at the same time. Even though she was still in a relationship, we both needed to come back to ourselves in a deeper way.

Sometimes heartbreak doesn’t just end something.

It reintroduces you to yourself.

What my nervous system learned

After a year of reflection, here are a few truths that became clear.

Trust the pull you feel.
Your intuition isn’t drama. It’s your nervous system processing information before your mind catches up.

If someone has to ghost you to leave, they were never big enough for your energy anyway.

Losing stuff is a small price to pay for a life that’s finally ghost-free.

And maybe the biggest realization of all:

I am my own primary partner.

And respectfully…
a bish doesn’t have time for foolishness anymore.

Next in this series

In the next post, I’m going to talk about something I don’t think most people really pay attention to:

Breakups are not just emotional events.
They are nervous system events.

Why heartbreak can feel like withdrawal.
Why your body reacts the way it does.
And what yoga therapy can do to help regulate the chaos that follows.

Because healing from a breakup isn’t just about “moving on.”

It’s about coming back into regulation.