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Ok, so I have been feeling so apathetic lately. Like I can't be bothered with other people, which is so unlike me. Usually I care way too much about what other people think and put too much energy into worrying about that. I'm not sure that this is better, because basically if what people are saying or doing isn't what I want to hear or be bothered with, I want them to go away - to not exist for me (at least for the moment, not forever). Case in point, Bruce is pissing me off. He blathers on about how much he wants to get back together one night and then can hardly be bothered to care or at least make me feel like he cares at any subsequent point in time after that. And I just want him to go away. I don't want to have a talk with him about it, I don't want to work it out, I want him to get it or leave. Maybe I ask too much from people, particularly men. I haven't met anyone who's got everything I would consider for a long-term serious relationship in quite a while. Of course, I don't know if that means that I am picky or people suck. I am kind of leaning towards the 'people suck'. I guess I should specify and say that I have met some people, but they're not interested in me. I got my college transcript in the mail (I requested it) and boy was I a dumb motherfucker. I wasted so much time and money and energy screwing up. I've been offered (nay, somewhat pressured) the chance to do X this weekend. I don't know why I'm so naturally resistant to the idea, but I just don't want to do it. I don't. I'm a big nerdy square, obviously. Well, that's all for now. |
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