Erik

...BUFFERING...

hellhunter — Thu, 01 Apr 2004 23:03:47 GMT

For those unfortunate enough to have used a realmedia product:

Need travel advice!

hellhunter — Mon, 22 Mar 2004 00:44:29 GMT

A dear friend of mine will be heading across America via Greyhound in three weeks, and it's her first time riding Greyhound. It's quite a haul, and I was wondering if anyone here has experience riding a bus long distance. Is there anything she should be sure to bring, or travel advice I can pass on to her?

Any sort of advice is very welcome!

Afghan soldier donkey sex

hellhunter — Tue, 16 Mar 2004 23:12:37 GMT

http://news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,8986843^401,00.html

AN Afghan soldier was detained by police after being caught having sex with a donkey in southeastern Afghanistan, a police officer said today.

The soldier was discovered with the donkey in an abandoned house in a small village of Gardez, the capital of Paktia province, last week, a local police officer said.

"He was caught in the act by a small boy who immediately told police about what he had seen and police arrested him in action," the Gardez-based officer said, requesting anonymity.

The soldier claimed he committed the act because he did not have enough money to get married.

After being caught with the donkey in a village about 100km south of the capital Kabul, he was jailed for four days and then released without charge.

According to tradition in south and southeastern Afghanistan, a suitor must pay around $US5,000 ($A6,800) to the parents of the girl he wishes to marry.

NASA scientists conclude Mars was once drenched with water!

hellhunter — Tue, 02 Mar 2004 11:28:51 GMT

In a press release today NASA Scientists announced their conclusion that evidence that Mars was once drenched with water and would have been sutible for life!

http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/press/opportunity/20040302a.html

Wow, holy crap!

Cheep thrill

hellhunter — Tue, 24 Feb 2004 02:00:26 GMT

I did something really weird earlier.

I came back from a jog thirsty as all hell; I grabbed the first thing in the fridge and chugged half a bottle of sparkling cider. A moment later I chugged giant gulps of water from a water bottle; There was a significant amount of air in my stomach, and with each gulp, I heard a really loud "Sploosh! Sploosh! Sploosh!" coming from within. It was as loud as one of those office water coolers.

Not something you expect to hear!

Worst. Underwear. Ever.

hellhunter — Sat, 14 Feb 2004 22:32:57 GMT

Oh my god, this is the stupidest "underwear" ever.

http://dainties.com/page/Dainties/PROD/mens/412?SSAID=62332

Bwhahahaha!

Important valentine question for the ladies!

hellhunter — Wed, 11 Feb 2004 14:10:12 GMT

It's cute when a girl sprays a bit of her perfume on a valentine before giving it to a guy.

I don't wear cologne, or perfume for that matter - would it be romantic of me to slather her valentine with a fat stick of my "mountain fresh ultra sport" deodorant?

It's practically the same thing, right?

Dear lord, this is funny!

hellhunter — Mon, 09 Feb 2004 19:31:05 GMT

This has got to be the funniest flash animation I've ever watched. It's a telephone call received by a web company by a very pissed off internet user.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/angryspam.html

If you've ever worked with customers you'll appreciate this. The degree to which the guy loses it is great.

Oh jesus, I'm getting viagra spam in l33tsp33k.

hellhunter — Sat, 07 Feb 2004 03:52:50 GMT

0ne T1me d1sc0unt 0rder for V1agr@! V1@GRA DISC0UNT 0rder.

Totally Swank

hellhunter — Tue, 03 Feb 2004 14:01:09 GMT

Mac users!

Grab the latest version of Safari.
Paste the following into a new text file: body { text-shadow: black 0.2em 0.2em 5px; }
Save as shadow.css
Set that to the default StyleSheet in Safari ( under advanced prefs ).

Dude! All text has a funky shadow! It's so freakin cool!

Safari is the only browser which properly supports this. Cutting edge, dude.

For other funky safari examples, check this out.

Expressing love through unix

hellhunter — Tue, 18 Nov 2003 23:01:28 GMT

[erik ~]: yes 'kiss ' | head -10000 | tr -d '\n' | mail -s "10,000 kisses for you!" kathryn@xxxxxxx.xxx

I am a sick, disgusting person!

Woohoo! Gonna see Kathryn!

hellhunter — Sun, 16 Nov 2003 16:17:40 GMT

Just bought some plane tickets!

Kathryn's coming to spend Thanksgiving with us! Yay!

I've been reading too much BOFH

hellhunter — Tue, 23 Sep 2003 00:46:10 GMT

From a chat with a client of mine:


[12:28] David: hey man, i need u to save me
[12:28] Erik: What now?
[12:28] David: well
[12:28] David: my email
[12:28] David: or whatever
[12:28] David: cant write to the temp dir
[12:28] David: so its freaking out
[12:29] David: and my perl scripts wont run
[12:29] David: not sure whats going on
[12:29] David: Warning: open(/tmp/sess_52327b30f1b9d7dd1b50812878ba46ac, O_RDWR) failed: Permission denied (13) in /home/var/www/squirrelmail/src/redirect.php on line 26
[12:29] David: corse im just tellin u
[12:29] David: cause it looks like some permissions are messed up or something
[12:34] Erik: Interference from solar flares must have flipped bits on your permissions registry again. I'll degauss the mainframe when I have a chance. In the meantime, just wrap any important disks or hardware devices in aluminum foil to prevent ionized data from being uploaded to the server.
[12:35] David: Gotcha.
[12:48] David: OK Im safe.

In the flesh, at the keyboard, and reading your email!

Oops

hellhunter — Sat, 20 Sep 2003 01:08:24 GMT

Note to self: Verify that it's not your friend's mom who's using her SN before you flirt with her.

SEXY G5 photos

hellhunter — Fri, 05 Sep 2003 17:19:48 GMT

Wow. This is truly one of the most erotic things I have ever seen. If that Mac was a woman, these pictures would belong in Playboy: http://www.billnoll.com/g5/

And on another note - Scantly clad female straddling a G5!!! (Not work safe) http://homepage.mac.com/lex5847/PhotoAlbum8.html

What the fuck?!?

hellhunter — Fri, 08 Aug 2003 22:38:53 GMT

I was out walking the dog, and I heard a bunch of screaming and shouting from the bottom of the hill, only to see 30 totally naked guys turn the corner and start running right at me! They were sprinting while holding their balls and yelling "FUCK! HOLY FUCK! FUCK!!". A red honda civic was chasing them; Flooring it, slamming the breaks, reversing, and doing it again. They sprinted past me, up the street, and into the field.

What the fuck.

All I've got to say is that the whole thing was a real flop. :P

Jesus, I miss when this place was a secluded community, before suburbia grew up around it.

Black Hurricanes!

hellhunter — Wed, 06 Aug 2003 23:32:29 GMT

Was Hurricane Andrew too 'lily white'?

Do devastating hurricanes need help from affirmative action?

A member of Congress apparently thinks so, and is demanding the storms be given names that sound "black."

The congressional newspaper the Hill reported this week that Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee, D-Texas, feels that the current names are too "lily white," and is seeking to have better representation for names reflecting African-Americans and other ethnic groups.

"All racial groups should be represented," Lee said, according to the Hill. She hoped federal weather officials "would try to be inclusive of African-American names."

A sampling of popular names that could be used include Keisha, Jamal and Deshawn, according to the paper.

Jackson Lee's call is brewing its own storm of response across America.

A WorldNetDaily reader wrote:

"You can be sure if there were too many 'black' names assigned to hurricanes, Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee would instead be complaining that this practice unfairly stereotypes blacks as violent. Let's hope this silly storm blows over!"

Another, Greg Cook, says, "This is ridiculous. How about naming the storms after gang members, or infamous criminals? How about not having any name at all associated with hurricanes?"

Regina Roberston writes: "We should only name hurricanes for foreign officials who are in hiding or considered to be terrorists, or assisting terrorists. We could name the hurricanes after known illegal immigrants, since they are both unwanted and unwelcome anyway. Or how about we only choose French names, so the fear of hurricanes will be put to rest?"

Radio talk-show giant Rush Limbaugh says he was having dinner with his wife when he first learned of the proposal.

"I just threw up my hands. I said, 'Has it come to this now?'" Limbaugh recounted on his show.

"There's discrimination and actually elected officials wandering around worried about the discrimination in the name of hurricanes. And hurricanes are destructive. You know nobody's very excited when a hurricane's heading their way, and yet here she is demanding that hurricanes be named after black people.

"You know it used to be that hurricanes were named only after women because they were destructive and unpredictable. And that's the reason. The feminists grew upset about that, demanded that hurricanes be named after men, and so now, the civil rights leaders are demanding black names for hurricanes.

Limbaugh continued his analysis, saying it was not the mainstream populace responsible for what he called the "Balkanization" of race relations in America.

"It is these elected black leaders, the civil-rights coalitions – they're the ones that keep causing all this racial divide, they're the ones that keep calling attention to all this," said Limbaugh. "They're the ones that keep stirring this pot. They're the ones who don't want there to be any colorblind society. They're the ones who keep being agitated and trying to agitate others over all this, and now it's descended into the meaningless element of the names of hurricanes."

According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, hurricanes were for centuries named after the Catholic saints' days on which the storms fell.

In 1953, the United States abandoned as confusing a two-year-old plan to name storms by a phonetic alphabet (Able, Baker, Charlie) when a new, international phonetic alphabet was introduced. That year, weather services began using female names for storms.

The practice of naming hurricanes solely after women came to an end in 1978 when men's and women's names were included in the Eastern North Pacific storm lists. In 1979, male and female names were included in lists for the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico.

Source: http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=33896

I can see the headlines now: "Hurricane Martin Luther King is bearing down on the small, southern, mostly confederate town of ..." :P

Fun with insurance

hellhunter — Fri, 27 Jun 2003 19:46:56 GMT

Here is your Quote!
Your 6 month GEICO General premium is $1,337.70.
You have these payment choices:
First payment of $1,337.70 and the policy is paid in full.
First payment of $334.00 and three additional payments.

I'm a geek, yes.

A prank I pulled today! Woohoo!

hellhunter — Tue, 24 Jun 2003 21:23:15 GMT

My friend Bryan was in town today, so I went to meet him at a restaurant in a part of town I'd never been to. I took a wrong exit, and ended up on this dreaded stretch of freeway (I5-N) with no exits for miles and miles, before I was able to turn around and find my way back.

Long story short, I made it to the restaurant just as Bryan was leaving ( he had to meet with someone else back home ), so we talked in the parking lot for about 15 minutes before he left.

About three hours after Bryan headed home, I had my mom call and say "Hello Bryan, this is Erik's mom. Were you going to hook up with Erik in Washington? Erik just called me from Seattle."

I was listening in, and Bryan said "What!? Seattle!? What's he doing there?" and started laughing.

"Yeah, he said he was calling from a pay phone in Seattle"

"Uh, did Erik know he was going to Seattle?"

It was so fucking funny, my mom was totally convincing. Bryan was being rather diplomatic on the phone, explaining how I arrived late at the restaurant, when I interrupted to say "Bryan! Do you really think my sense of direction is *that* bad?"

All he said was "Ah man, I was about to loose all respect for you as a human being!"

Truly classic.

Yahoo Idiots!

hellhunter — Sat, 21 Jun 2003 23:20:38 GMT

Idiot: Do not delete...we want to find out which users r actually using their Yahoo accounts...so if u r using yours plz pass this email to every yahoo user you can...IF YOU DONT PASS..this letter to anyone we will delete yrs...fm MR.ALLEN SMITH admin dept.....our yahoo is getting crowded!!we need u to find out who is really using their accounts..and if u do not send at least 10yahoo members yr account will be deleted...sorry 4 inconvienience...sincerely--director yahoo services RIGHT CLICK ON GROUP NAME OF YOUR BUDDY LIST AND CLICK SEND MESSAGE TO ALL IN THIS GROUP DO NOT DELETE...
Me: I sincerely hope the administration of yahoo can spell better than that.
Idiot: i donno
Idiot: i recieved this message
Idiot: then
Idiot: i tried to pass it to my friends
Me: Do you honestly think the administration of Yahoo - a multimillion dollar company - would send out an official memo that looks like it was written by a thirteen year old dyslexic?
Idiot: hehehe
Idiot: i donno
Me: You dunno. You've never dabbled in the world of business, have you?
Idiot: nah
Idiot: i dont want to
Idiot: i wanna b sooo simple
Me: Would you like a side of fries with your mediocrity?
Idiot: ????
Idiot: what does that mean
Me: It means you'll probably enjoy a dissatisfying existence of minimum-wage manual labor.
Me: I'm sorry, did I initiate severe cognitive dissonance?

Fearsome

hellhunter — Sat, 21 Jun 2003 01:31:31 GMT

Kathryn and I were playing a trivia game online with each other.
She asked me *two* unix trivia questions I didn't know the answers to.

If you know me, you realize how scary that is.

Sure, I could have beat her with unix knowledge if I was asking her unix questions, but it's still rather fearsome that a girl managed to beat me with unix trivia.

I think I'm in love! *grin*

Now off to bed, gotta finish the brass content management system tomorrow.

Ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

hellhunter — Mon, 16 Jun 2003 01:14:52 GMT

Bathed in moonlight I find myself, under the stars, wrapped in the wind.

I'm unable to lie in the moonlight. Not to myself, nor to any other; the slightest deception would pierce the darkness as if it were a pane of breaking glass.

Truth whispers here in the deafening silence.

Thus I bring this moment back to life.

I know what I must do.

So immature!

hellhunter — Sun, 15 Jun 2003 20:12:01 GMT

At dinner, Michael ( A waiter who's a good friend of the family ) said "Do you still have Kathryn?" - so I said "I sure do!"

Michael gave me two thumbs up and said "Excellent! She's a sweet girl. Is there any chance she'll become Lissi's big sister? You know, Erik's getting old enough that he has to start thinking about these things."

Lissi piped up and said "Erik's not mature enough to be a husband!".

Everyone laughed, especially Michael. Good times, good times. ;)

It will be great seeing Kathryn again this summer.

In other news, I'm home from college and life rocks!

SQL

hellhunter — Tue, 03 Jun 2003 07:12:52 GMT

I went to eat at carson ( cafeteria-style ) dining with some friends last night. In line, I blurted out

SELECT DISTINCT food FROM entrees, saladbar WHERE nutrition=healthy AND quality>=good LIMIT 0,3 ORDER BY quality

Yes, I'm a freak!

Apartments

hellhunter — Tue, 03 Jun 2003 04:10:21 GMT

Sooo, yeah.
I'm helping Kathryn find a job and a place to live here in Oregon. ^_^