socrates himself is particularly missed

yeah, no.

2017-04-09T21:49:08Z

on dreamwidth: KJATA
on twitter: glitzob
on tumblr: whoresonbob
on steam: cunthulhu

I need a better connection to back things up, and I'm still trying to move over communities where I can, but I will not be checking my friendlist on this site anymore and I will not be posting.

I've had this journal since Feburary of 2004. It was a lifeline of sanity during my massive depression during my teen years and an easy route way to be in a community during my more intense participation in fandom. But if the Russian Federation demands that I mark my content as "adult" just because I'm pro-lgbt-- and, in fact, lgbt myself-- then I am not welcome here anymore, and will not force the issue.

I will add back all accounts that add/follow me provided they are not obviously a bot, so if you want to keep in touch, pick something off the given list that is most convenient and away we go.

Winter Writing Shit 2016

2016-10-11T06:55:33Z

Leave a comment here with what you want to read and I’ll do my best to write it before December is over. Multiple requests welcome, if you want the result gifted to your Ao3 account then make sure to note your name, and if you want to go anon that’s fine also.

FANDOMS:
Star Wars TFA | Kylo/Hux, Poe/Leia, Finn/Rey
Kingsman | Eggsy/Harry
Marvel Cinematic Universe | Bucky/Clint, Steve/Tony
Mad Max Fury Road | genfic only
Hellboy (comix &/or movies) | genfic, Hellboy/Liz, Hellboy/John
Cable & Deadpool comix | Cable/Deadpool

ORIGINAL STUFF:
Speculative Fiction (includes cyberpunk, magical realism, weird fic, horror, etc)
Romcom (m/m, f/f, m/f)

I DO NOT WRITE: rapefic, explicit sex, cutesy fluff that will make your teeth rot.

I DO WRITE: crack. And other things. But mostly crack.

My Ao3 account is here. Haven’t been writing much lately because of depression, but a good fandom prompt flurry sometimes knocks me back into a regular routine, so I’m trying this.

Currently signed up for Yuletide (I! LOVE! MY! PROMPT!) and will sign up for the Cap/Iron winter exchange like I have for the last two years. Otherwise, my time is unclaimed, writing-wise. (except for the original shit, but pfft.)

yuletide letter 2016

2016-10-01T21:46:00Z

Dear Yuletide Author,

Haven't written a letter before, so apologise in advance if it's a wee bit clunky.

HALLO, WRITER. I am grue. I like worldbuilding, crackfic, and maybe worldbuilding crackfic. WAFF is not my jam, neither is total grimdark. If you want to write darkish stuff, please let there be hope at the end so I don't get sad D:

Since I know how crappy it is to force writing via prompts, I try to be as hands-off as possible. If you want to write something, write it! So long as it features the characters I like, I am totally jelly.

Onto my three requests, ha!

Request: Futurama, character Bender Rodriguez

Bender is my favourite character, and so long as you match the tone of the show as well as you are able, I am fine with whatever you'd want to write about him. Coda to an episode, character development, Bender getting a limerick add-on installed just for the lulz, whatever you want.

Request: His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman, characters Serafina Pekkala & Lee Scoresby

The relationship between Serafina and Lee was so intriguing and yet so abruptly over that I would love some development. Fix-it fic where she saves him somehow or just a scene from before where they have some communication would be fine. I'll take anything, there is a severe lack of fic for these two and it. is. HORRIBLE.

Request: Hellboy (movies), character Hellboy

I request Hellboy every year, so if you're assigned this one, HI I LIKE HELLBOY AND WILL TAKE WHATEVER FOR HIM. No preference re: shipping, make him date Liz or date John or be a LONESOME DOVE, idgaf. Not fond of OT3s personally but if you really want to write a particular plot with that I'll read it. I like plot over shenanigans when it comes to the Mignolaverse, so even just a hint of something major going on in the background will make me salivate.

Thank you for writing something for me this Yuletide, and I cannot wait to see what is in store! :D :D :D

Hooversuck of an Empty Space 01/18

2016-09-05T08:31:20Z

HOOVERSUCK OF AN EMPTY SPACE

Chapter One of Eighteen

A glam-rock superstar (who is also a failed academic) finds an Ancient Evil Egg in his hotel shower. The irritating alcoholic troubadour who sleeps with all of the glam-rock superstar's friends decides to help him deal with it. What ensues is the first part of a vast space opera where space whales hump spaceships, there are pyramids made out of android parts on hoverdollies, and a research station turned tourist hub called Chimera Hangdog houses plenty of weird characters. Like some guy made out of sponges. The sponges guy is weird.

https://www.wattpad.com/304656787-hooversuck-of-an-empty-space-chapter-1-18

[star wars ep7] secrets for a buck

2016-05-30T08:13:04Z

Star Wars: The Force Awakens
General Hux/Kylo Ren | Ben Organa Solo
16k words; M for Mature; Graphic Depictions of Violence
Part 2 in a series, what good's a brick to a drowning man.

A Tarkin, a Hutt, and a First Order General walk into a cantina on Nor Shaddaa. We are now taking bets on which of the three get out of there alive.

read on ao3

[star wars ep7] i'm a doctor today, i'm curing viewers by thousands

2016-05-15T07:33:14Z

Star Wars: The Force Awakens
General Hux/Kylo Ren | Ben Organa Solo
5k words; M for Mature; Graphic Depictions of Violence

Hux does not wince at the sight of a ragtag gathering of misfits who managed to successfully repel a First Order-sanctioned Planet Acquisition. But he wants to.

"The General of the Resistance will not proceed with negotiations for a ceasefire unless Lord Ren is in attendance," the old Mon Calamari says. Organa is standing just behind his shoulder and glowering at the screen like a raging wall of righteous vengeance. Or like an upset mother.

Hux cants his head a minutiae to the left and surreptitiously eyeballs Phasma. She shakes her head. He flicks his attention back to the holoscreen, grins with all his teeth at Organa's pinched face.

"I'm afraid Lord Ren is currently in medical so a medroid can shove his intestines back into his abdomen. May I take a message?"

read on ao3

[star wars ep7] build a war on your assistance

2016-05-08T06:28:35Z

Star Wars: The Force Awakens
General Hux/Kylo Ren | Ben Organa Solo
10k words; M for Mature; Graphic Depictions of Violence
Part 1 in a series, what good's a brick to a drowning man.

General Hux is busy picking up the pieces of his career after the implosion of Starkiller, but he makes the time to accept the cut off bits of corpses that Kylo Ren brings to him as courting gifts.

read on ao3

fic: RECIDIVIST MAX ch1 of ?? - le chatelier's principle

2015-09-04T08:16:16Z

13k so far, genfic, post-movie ensemble. Rated M for film-typical violence.

The first time Furiosa purchases Max off of some travelling slavers, she tells him, "Don't mention it."

The tenth time she finds him at a Slave Market-- Lot A405, presumed feral, good for soups-- she says, "We've gotta stop meeting like this."

The forty-third time, he's been shoved into a foetal position inside a a wicker basket carried by three slavers looking to trade for water and she suggests a payment plan, because this has gotten really expensive.

read on archiveofourown or fanfiction.net

FANDOMAID FOR NEPAL: AUCTION OFFER

2015-05-02T04:36:41Z

AUCTION OFFER | fanfic/original fic
QUANTITY | 5 stories; 1,000 words minimum
FANDOMS | original, Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler, SnK/Attack on Titan, MCU (pre-Age of Ultron only), Pacific Rim, Inception, Teen Wolf.
MINIMUM BID REQUIREMENT | $5
ANY OTHER INFORMATION | my writing style is best depicted on my Ao3 account. I can answer further questions before bids at bozaloshtsh@gmail if you want.

pairings info: Kuroshitsuji (Undertaker/Anyone), SnK (Levi/Erwin), MCU (Steve/Tony, Clint/Phil, Clint/Bucky, Natasha/Bruce), Pacific Rim (Hannibal/Newt, Mako Mori), Inception (Arthur/Eames, Mal/Anyone), Teen Wolf (Peter/Stiles).

I have on-going projects, but can probably deliver within 6 weeks of confirmation of bid; any longer than that and I'll contact you w/ the partial draft as proof that it's in-progress. all results regardless of request type will be posted onto Ao3.

I do not write hardcore philias or WAFF. humour is easiest for me to write, weird tropes even better.

auction thread here

FANDOMAID BUY-IT-NOW OFFER

2015-04-29T06:26:39Z

doing this cos holy hell, Nepal.

‘BUY IT NOW’ OFFER | fanfic or original
QUANTITY | five stories
FANDOMS | Kuroshitsuji, Shingeki no Kyojin, MCU, Pacific Rim, Sherlock BBC, Sherlock RDJ Films, Inception, Hellboy comics, Teen Wolf. any genre of original fic so long as a speculative element can be added.
MINIMUM ‘BUY IT NOW’ DONATION REQUIREMENT | $10.00 per 1k. max wordcount req is 5k, if I go higher than that it's my problem not yours.
ANY OTHER INFORMATION | my writing style is best depicted on my Ao3 account. I can answer further questions before bids at bozaloshtsh@gmail if you want.

pairings info: Kuroshitsuji (Undertaker/Anyone), SnK (Levi/Erwin), MCU (Steve/Tony, Clint/Phil, Clint/Bucky, Natasha/Bruce), Pacific Rim (Hannibal/Newt, Mako Mori), Inception (Arthur/Eames, Mal/Anyone), Teen Wolf (Peter/Stiles).

I have on-going projects, but can probably deliver within 6 weeks of confirmation of bid; any longer than that and I'll contact you w/ partial draft as proof that it's in-progress. all results regardless of request type will be posted onto Ao3.

I do not write hardcore philias or WAFF. humour is easiest for me to write, weird tropes even better.

bid at this thread at fandomaid

getyourwordsout: genres bingo card

2015-03-10T02:47:37Z

they can't stop messing with the danger zone.

2015-03-03T01:46:13Z

Rules: Using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer all fifteen questions.

01. Pick Your Artist: Tom Waits

02. Are You A Male or Female: Gun Street Girl
03. Describe Yourself: Pasties And A G-String (At The Two O'Clock Club)
04. How Do You Feel: I'm Your Late Night Evening Prostitute
05. Describe Where You Currently Live: Anywhere I Lay My Head
06. If You Could Go Anywhere Where Would You Go?: Whistlin' Past The Graveyard
07. Your Favorite Form of Transportation: Clang Boom Steam
08. Your Best Friend Is: Baby Gonna Leave Me
09. You And Your Best Friends Are: Big In Japan
10. What’s The Weather Like: Cold Water
11. Favorite Time of Day: On A Foggy Night
12. If Your Life Was A TV Show, What Would The Title Be: The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)
13. What Is Life To You: Don't Go Into That Barn
14. Your Relationship: Cemetery Polka
15. Your Fear: Starving In The Belly Of A Whale

I Tag: no one, I just wanted to answer smth with "Don't Go Into That Barn" cos I laugh.

[fic table] au_abc: Shingeki no Kyojin, Erwin Smith/Levi Ackerman

2015-03-03T00:54:34Z

Apocalypse & Arabian	Bangsian & Bourgeoisie	Celebrities & Cyberpunk	Daemons & Detectives	Eastern & Explorers	Fantasy & Fourth wall
Genderfuck & Gold diggers	History & Hustler	Infinite cycle & Inmates	Jocks & Jossverse	Kidfic & Killed	Legends & Lost world
Military & Mutants	Noir & Normal	Olympians & Outer space	Pirates & Prehistoric	Quest & Quetzalcoatl	Regency & Royalty
School & Steampunk	Telepaths & Thieves	Urbanites & Utopia	Vampires & Villains	Western & Wizards	Xenogenetic & Xover
Yeomen & Yuppies	Zombies & Zoomorphs	Completed: 0/26

GoFundMe: Getting me electricity out where I live.

2015-01-23T08:13:41Z

i made a gofundme account.

My 64 year old mother and I live on a five acre plot of land in a colonia out in El Paso County. It's all we can afford for a monthly payment -- $200 a month -- but that means going without utilities except for what we can gimcrack on our own. We hire a portapotty service for our bathroom, haul water five gallons at a time for cooking/drinking/bathing, and have a small solar setup to charge our phones when the sun is out.

We've been living like this for going on four years now, and it has become very obvious that saving for the $2,000 deposit + other expenses for an electricity install is out of our reach. My income is trivial, dependant on a fledgling self-publishing career that hasn't taken off yet and my mother's disability checks.

Any funds we manage to put aside end up being used for car repairs -- the latest being new rims on two of the wheels, and the time before that the brake system having to be rebuilt -- or health expenses. My mother had four strokes in less than five months in 2014, and while she has recovered enough to function on a day-to-day basis, she's disabled out of work and I fear our living conditions has contributed to her ongoing health issues.

With electricity at the land, we can have heat in the winter and power fans in the summer. We can cook on electric burners instead of using a camp stove that requires expensive propane bottles. We can have light at night without relying on $0.99 solar lights to charge in the day.

The breakdown in expenses to get electricity installed, in order of need:
$550 for the pole drop.
$2000 for the deposit with the electrical company to prove we won't have them put up a transformer out in the middle of nowhere and then leave (this was apparently an issue in the past, thus the deposit?)
+ the rest of the funds going for wiring, conduit, and a transformer box to install on the outside of the wooden shed we're hoping to get electricity to.

Any help will be extremely appreciated in this. We've been living like this for years, and would really like to live like quasi-normal people again in the future.

I finally broke down and made a gofundme to at least ATTEMPT to get the funds together for electric install. If you can help, thank you. If you can signal boost this in any way, even better.

Honest talk? I'm desperately tired of being cold all winter and sweating like a mule all summer. I'm tired of not having light. I'm fucking tired of my mother's health getting worse as time goes on because we've got such harsh conditions. I know I'm not supposed to say this kind of shit, just grin and bear it, got a lot better way to live than people elsewhere, but I'm tired. Just. Just tired.

FIC: The Avengers Tower is Decadent and Depraved (8k)

2015-01-12T22:12:39Z

Marvel Cinematic Universe - Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Written for the 2014 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange
Wherein there is an interesting spore developing in Bruce's laboratory fridge, Tony has malingering protocols numbering in the triple digits, Bucky's an evil little shit, and the team tries to get drunk off of Muppets Avengers Live!

(Steve just wants to know why his counterpart is played by Big Bird.)

hosted on AO3

GUYS LOOK, I WROTE AND POSTED FIC FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2010. LOOKIT LOOKIT LOOKIT.

REC/ MCU Steve/Tony: Dreams of War, Dreams of Liars

2015-01-03T16:14:36Z

so for the 2014 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange I gave two prompts, one of which was for an Inception tech fusion. I specifically asked that the PASIV tech be appropriated into the MCU/616 universe, rather than a crossover or retelling of the movie take place.

what I got was Dreams of War, Dreams of Liars, which is 34k of canon-compliant with dreams and DUM-E being adorable and Tiberius Stone being a fucking snot and and and.

I'm so fucking thrilled, if you didn't already figure that out.

This is the first gift!exchange I've ever completed, and the only terror of it now is to wait and see what the reception of what I wrote is. The fact that I got a freaking awesome fic to read out of it that matches EXACTLY what I was hoping to read is more than I ever expected.

my favourite lj comm EVAR.

2014-12-16T01:38:34Z

GetYourWordsOut: Year Seven!
Pledges & Requirements | GYWO.net

HELLO, I'LL WRITE YOU SOMETHING FOR THE YEAR-END HOLS IF YOU WANT ♥

2014-11-27T04:07:33Z

Ahem. Let me know what you've got a yen to read in a comment here, and in December I'll post something filling it. Want a Space Opera with werewolves? Weird Western mashed up with Wuxia tropes? Or how about a good old fashioned North Pole Zombie Horde commanded by Undead Saint Nicolas?

My only requirements is that you give me your preference of F/F, M/M, M/F, or GEN, and that if it's fandom-based, I will be liable to convert it to original. I don't mind someone saying "I want Marvel Cinematic Universe Clockpunk!" so long as it's understood that I might be issuing the plausible denial ruling and then proceed to turn Tony Stark into a chick who spits fire or something.

The topics I'm particularly interested in this year are Lovecraftian fusions, blatant genre tropes, and the lyrics of Tom Waits. You can ask for other stuff, but some of those items might make their way in regardless.

End result wordcount could be as short as 500 and as long as 5k. Everything will be posted to AO3, and I'll make a masterpost on here before the end of December for ease of browsing.

SO COME ON AND ASK FOR SOMETHING!! I have like no cash this year, so this is all I've got for gifts for you guys, sorry. Maybe next year financial solvency will become something other than a state that happens to Other People and I can send out cards with dirty limericks inside. But not this year!

locusts the size of cars! (and other hazards)

2014-11-08T19:14:41Z

locusts the size of cars! (and other hazards)

42k m/m novella; NC17 cos xxx; b-movie scifi & schlock romcom had a babby
$2.99 at Amazon & SmashWords. Other venues pending my internet tethering time.
The book is listed here at GoodReads. It's also got a generic writeup at my own website with links to all of the above.
Editor was monkeycomic, cos she gets the need for giant maggots and a genetically engineered monster beetle named Hogarth in modern romances. Thanks for the help (and listening to me whine), babe.

Doctor Anghrist Wiggins was hired by the supervillain Xarles du Thoth after the first wave of overlarge insects swarmed all tropically-pleasant areas and made a mess of things. Six months later, as the reconstruction of the world moves on and everyone prepares for the inevitable second wave, Anghrist is breeding his own mutant beetles as a cure to boredom, participating in a ruthless game of gay chicken with his boss, and some unknown entity is making moves to steal all of Anghrist’s hard work!
Fraught with chills, goop, and mutant insects the size of housecats or bigger, Locusts the Size of Cars! is a romantic horror comedy set in a world where the Bond Villains just want to establish their world monopoly in peace, and the mad scientists who love them give numbers to all the other minions because they can’t keep all the workers straight.

I'll get superannuated shiny and uploaded before the year is out. and I'm thinking of gun street girls after that, cos yay femmeslash.

'Are you alive, or not? Is there nothing in your head?'

2010-04-04T20:59:23Z

'Nam Sibyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse
oculis meis vidi in ampulla pendere, et cum
illi pueri dicerent: Σιβυλλα τι θελεις;
respondebat illa: αποθανειν θελω.'

I have seen with my own eyes the Sibyl
hanging in a jar, and when the boys
asked her: What do you want;
She answered: I want to die.

The Waste Land | T.S. Eliot