the writing nook

Fic - Rare Pairs: Lovers

heffermonkey — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 17:07:57 GMT

Title - Rare Pairs: Lovers
Fandom - Hawaii Five 0
Characters/Pairings - Mary McGarrett/Matthew Williams, Charlie Fong/Steve McGarrett, Kono Noshimuri/Adam Noshimuri, Danny Williams/Adam Noshimuri
Summary - A series of One Shots in answer to the Rare Pairs Challenge set at 1_million_words. Not all rare pairs in the traditional sense, but also pairings rare to me (EG Kono/Adam I never usually write, even though I love them in the show).
Warnings - Some spoilers for Season Six, see chapter notes for which story.

Posted @ AOL

A/N - Suggestions for Rare Pairs (within the H50 Fandom) are welcome, post in comments - you never know what may be inspired.

Fic - A Dish Best Served (H50, PG13)

heffermonkey — Thu, 25 Jun 2015 20:18:50 GMT

Title - A Dish Best Served
Rating - PG13
Fandom - H50
Characters - Danny Williams, Rachel Willams
Summary - Rachel has had enough of being second best to Danny's career.

~

Posted @ The Archive

Fic : Before the Dawn (Steve/Danny, PG13, AU)

heffermonkey — Wed, 17 Jun 2015 11:27:10 GMT

Title - Before the Dawn
Fandom - H50
Characters - Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett
Summary - Written as a prequel/companion piece for New Dawn . It's a rainy Monday morning when the world changes.
A/N - Was pondering on how to use the prompts when the muse was struck by a lightbulb. I've wanted to write more in this AU for a while, so these prompts have helped greatly.

Read - Before the Dawn @ the archives

Seven Lines Meme

heffermonkey — Tue, 09 Jun 2015 11:44:15 GMT

Stealing this Seven Lines Meme which is cropping up on my f*list - Basically unearth those WIP's you have hidden in folders -

Seven Lines from the Seventh Page of Seven WIP's (or thereabouts) Doing this I realised I have a lot of WIP's, some will never see the light of day

~

The Brand – Can’t decide if I like this one or not, might scrap it all and begin again. – Steve/Danny, Dom/sub, branding

Steve didn't say anything, just looked up at him with trust reflected on his face. Oke came back with a cloth moist with antiseptic and rubbed it against Steve's thigh, making sure to clean the area properly, leaving it to dry before going to the irons.

“All right, let’s begin. Steven I don't have to tell you this will hurt. We got you tied up nice and secure but it’s in your best interest to lie still.”

Danny moved around Steve so he stood at the head of him, looking into his eyes.

“Be over soon baby,” Danny assured him. “Be sure to keep that chain secure. Don’t want your dick in the way do you.”

~

Petals and Ink sequel – Danny/Steve, Mary

“Jesus,” Danny whispered under his breath.

Mary went around the bed, taking Steve’s hand. Danny came to the other side and took in every detail. Mary leant over, pressing a soft kiss to Steve’s forehead which seemed the least bruised part of him. Steve looked like he was sleeping but he stirred a little at Mary’s touch and she gave a watery smile as he opened his eyes and blinked up at her.

“Mare,” He croaked. Danny’s felt his chest tighten at the sound, Steve sounded in pain, his voice like shard glass. “Hey.”

~
Mermaid – Case!Fic, Team!fic

“Actually a small needle,” Max replied, blinking at him before returning his concentration to his explanation. The marks are all two inches apart, from hip bone to two inches above her knees. On her calves the same thing, two inches apart, two inches below her knees to two inches above her ankles. I would say, looking at the healing of the skin, that the stitching is perhaps four to five days old.”

“She went missing five days ago,” Steve said, folding his arms and looking at Max closely.

“Wait, you said the skin around the stitches were healing,” Danny said, waving his hand with a look of horror and realisation. “Are you – are you telling me he did this to her while she was alive?”

~

New Dawn sequel – Danny is in a POW camp, clinging to hope of rescue

The early days of the camp had forced him to deal with his claustrophobia, but towards the end of his solitary confinement he felt he was going stir crazy from the same four walls. He clung to memories of Steve promising to come back for him as his only means of getting through each mind numbing hour.

Then one day they’d opened his cell door and he’d emerged weak, filthy and feeling like a mangy dog. He cried when he showered, even though the water was freezing, because someone sneaked him a piece of soap and a dull razor blade. It was good to feel clean again, to be free again even if he was still a prisoner

~

H50/Captain America – Haven’t titled this one and not sure if it will get finished or ever posted – Steve and Danny attend a function where the guest of honor is Captain Steve Rodgers, Steve’s childhood hero.

"Okay one, you've acted like an asshole with me all night," Danny pointed out. "And two, last time I checked that guy was one of your all time favourite heroes, yet you're acting like – like he's a dick."

"No I'm not," Steve denied with a shake of his head. "What do you want from me Danny? To act like a little school kid around him? I'm a grown up."

"Yeah, you are," Danny nodded. "But you're acting like a jerk tonight. He's a nice guy, you could have been polite."

"I was polite," Steve said, looking offended.

Danny sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, turning away. "You know what, fuck it. I don't know what kind of reaction I was expecting from you anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve questioned as they headed back towards the mansion.

~

Early fic set in my Possession verse – DomSteve/subDanny – getting intimate for the first time

“I know it’s been a while,” Steve said, reaching up with his free hand to brush his gloved fingers against Danny’s forehead which he realised was creased in concentration. The soft touch chased away the frown as he relaxed, reminding himself that he was safe, that he trusted this man. “You’re doing great.”

The smile Steve gave him was warm and encouraging, Danny felt himself flush under the gaze, that old familiar feeling of wanting to please settling inside him. The urge to submit palpable as he relaxed himself to bend his entire being to Steve’s will.

~

Break me down, Build me up verse – Had this written for a while, a draft of a version of events from Steve’s and Victor’s POV

Victor had decided to change Danny Williams. From the beginning the idea of breaking this man had been part of his drive. All to punish Steve McGarrett. Why go out to try and kill the man, when he could hurt him this way. What a victory it would be to see McGarrett's face when he discovered this new Danny. Daniel. It was a slow process, but Victor enjoyed watching the changes. They came slowly and without Danny even realising what was happening.
Like a puppet on a string.

~

AU fic, Danny is a powerful ruler, with a large harem of slaves, including his prize possession Steve and Chin – wrote this a long long time ago, don’t know that I’ll ever post it.

He let his fingers roam further upwards, up over the crease of his thighs to his hips, thin and sinewy, the 'v' of his abdomen muscles dipping down to his groin, a thick thatch of dark hair there, covering his cock and balls. Steve was a privileged slave, all the others were painstakingly kept free of hair, save for their heads unless they fell from Danny's grace. when a slave had their head shaved, it was a sign of their disgrace and they were promptly removed from the harem and cast out from the palace into the streets. Steve was only shaved on the chest, back, underarms, legs, everywhere but his head and cock. Danny traced the lines of muscles, thumbs pressing to feel the tight firmness under his touch as he massaged the pads in small, gentle circles.

Fic: Petals and Ink (H50, AU, Steve/Danny, Mary - NC17)

heffermonkey — Sat, 16 May 2015 10:23:29 GMT

Title - Petals and Ink
Fandom - Hawaii Five 0
Characters - Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams, Mary McGarrett
Summary - Mary McGarret opens a flower shop 'Petals' across the street from a tattoo parlor 'Ink', owned by Danny Williams. When Danny crosses paths with Mary's brother, Steve, they hit it off right away. But as their relationship deepens, secrets begin to surface from their pasts.
A/N - This started as a one off short fic written for a flash AU challenge at 1_million_words - the idea began to fester and the muse jumped on board, so here we are,twenty plus chapters in and the end not quite in sight, but I'm getting there.

~

Read Petals and Ink here @ the archive

40 Questions Meme Part Two

heffermonkey — Sat, 11 Apr 2015 16:52:48 GMT

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

To just keep writing, which is hard, and sometimes you go through that lull where the ideas dry up, you hit the wall, you just don’t feel the motivation. I went through a long spell last year of no ideas, and my writing dropped off a lot BUT I kept at it, even if it was just adding a few words to WIP’s every week. They might not have been used words, but I still did something and that’s better than nothing. So yeah, even in the tough times, write something, a new line is better than no words.

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

I don’t think I’ve come across bad advice, or if I have I’ve ignored it, it hasn’t entered my psyche, I’ve brushed it off as something not worth keeping in my brain. I have learned writing fanfic, how to brush off the negatives, which takes time I think, because when you’re new to it the negatives really impact you. But they also make you stronger. If I had to give any advice, it would be to turn the negative into a positive somehow.

Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style.

I wouldn’t know how to do this so I’m not going to do it. There is one particular fic that needs to be edited mainly because I change tenses halfway through and I wonder what the hell I was thinking posting it the way I did, but you learn from your mistakes and sometimes you have to live with them.

If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Possibly ‘Incubator’ – just because it started off as one thing and I delved deeper into the ‘Universe’ I’d set it in, I changed some of the rules and earlier chapters contradict those rules or made later chapters harder to write. It was never meant to become a series, so I think I’d take it all back, decide on my solid grounding of the ‘verse’ and then make revisions. I think I made Danny far more complicated at the beginning. I’d have wrote them a little younger. But in saying that, it is what it is and considering the content (Slavery, MPreg) it was hugely accepted by my readers and I do treasure it as one of my babies.

Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

Only accidentally. I was preparing to post ‘Saving Christmas 2’ and was looking through ‘Saving Christmas 1’ to add tags, when I managed to delete the entire fic. But it got re-posted ASAP.

What do you look for in a beta?

I don’t – I’ve found it very difficult to connect with beta’s over the years. I know some people click and some people use their friends, so the relationship has built over time. That’s never happened for me, although I know if I posted requesting a beta at 1_million_words there are a plethora of people who’d jump to my aid, so it’s nice to have the fall back of that.
Sometimes I just feel like I’m putting upon people as well, who have lives and their own writing to concentrate on. I don’t like to infringe on their much valued time.

Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

On occasion I will beta but it’s rare, especially these days. Work commitments have changed, so my own writing is much slower because of that and I can’t give time to a beta read like I know should be given. That said if someone really needed the help I’d not say no and I’d be touched they’d asked.

How do you feel about collaborations?

I envy people who can collaborate. There are people I’d love to collaborate with because I love their writing style and would love the chance to ‘mind meld’ with them lol but I’m probably too chicken to ask/suggest a collaboration. I think it would be an interesting process, because everyone approaches their writing differently, everyone works at a different pace, they think different, write different. But putting that together, like rare pairs, a gem always comes of such pairings.

Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oh so so many! I feel bad for leaving people out – I’m always AMAZED at what the fanfic that comes out of the 1_million_words community. We’re all so different but I’ve even read fandoms I don’t even know about because the fics are written so well.
Some personal favourites though :

thtwzjustadream – every fic is a joy to read, I love dreamies style, energy, focus and beautiful storytelling. When the ‘Pool so Deep’ series appeared I about handed in my notice for writing BDSM, because it’s gorgeously written. I was like damn! In a good way, a very very ‘I worship at your altar’ type of way.

xanthestories – Particularly ‘The General and Doctor Sheppard’ series because it introduced me mainly to the BDSM genre, especially of the fully invested Dom/sub verses of which are plentiful these days. But I’ve seen and read none as intricate, complicated and full flowing as the universe ‘Xanthe’ created and put out there. Just amazing writing. A –MAZ-ING!

somehowunbroken - I wasn’t even a John/Cam shipper until I read brokens fics. Then I was fully invested, completely won over, wondered how I’d ever missed such a ship because OF COURSE THEY ARE TOGETHER. Also who doesn’t love a bit of Lorne thrown in, and Parrish and yeah, a whole host of ships just amazingly written. And if SG1/SGA isn’t your bag, there’s a whole host of Danny/Steve to keep one happy and reading forever.

Do you accept prompts?

ALWAYS! I might not always use a prompt, but I appreciate a prompt and sometimes they do spur on an idea. I love prompts, I love how people think outside the box sometimes when coming up with them. Prompts are like food to the muse.

Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

Hmm, well I write Slash so I guess I take liberties. It all depends on the fandom I guess, certain things I keep compliant, like in H50 I love the core four, but some fics I keep the addition of Jenna or Grover. I really liked Jenna, so I like to have her around. I liked Catherine as well, but I’ve never been able to write her well and being a Steve/Danny writer I tend to just gloss over her or have her as a secondary character, a friends only.

How do you feel about smut?
I write smut so I don’t have a problem with it.

How do you feel about crack?

I enjoy reading some crack, especially if it’s well written. I have on occasion wrote it myself, but it’s very rare and I need a very good idea in order for it to work. Some people are very very good at writing it.

What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

I think it’s very difficult to guage. I wrote something a while back that would be classed as dub-con but I didn’t post it because I didn’t like how I ended it and felt it wasn’t respectful of a situation people go through. I think it depends on why it is written, not gloryfying or saying it is acceptable.

Would you ever kill off a canon character?

I have killed off canon characters twice. Once was Kono in a kind of ‘what if’ fic of what if Kono had died instead of Malia.
I also killed off Diefenbaker the ‘wolf’ in Due South. It was a future fic and he couldn't live forever, but I still cried at killing him off.

Sidenote: When I began writing the ‘Incubator’ Danny’s father Nick had died when he was only a boy. There series developed and I wrote a prequel about Danny’s fathers and how they met, so Nick became more than just a name. I’ve written the story of how Nick died , although I’ve never posted it. I’ve found it’s one of the most difficult things to do, killing off your own character.

I also wrote Danny and Steve’s deaths, but again they were old men by this time and in the ‘Incubator’ verse so they don’t exactly count as ‘canon’.

Which is your favorite site to post fic?
A03

Talk about your current wips.

One is the case fic ‘Mermaids’ I’m kind of taking my time with on and off.
The other is a new fic for the ‘Wear No Disguise’ verse.

Talk about a review that made your day.

There isn’t any one in particular. I love reviews, they do feed the writers soul so any kind word is gratefully accepted. I’ve had reviews that have helped me steer the fic in a certain direction, I’ve had reviews that just bolster me on to finish when I was lacking the motivation. I also love the reviews that come months or even years after a piece is posted, that just tell you people are still finding enjoyment out of the fic. Sometimes when I write a small companion piece for a ‘verse’ that I maybe haven’t touched on for a long time, and you get the gushing feedback of how much a person loves the ‘verse’ and misses it. Yeah I love reviews and kudos and just the kind word of someone who took something from the piece.

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Gosh all of the time. I love it when people have a go because of a ‘verse’ fic they have read. I’ve had to defend a lot of my writing when I wrote and posted ‘The Incubator’ – being Slave fic I decided from the start it was going to be a verse where slavery is very much part of the makeup of the world they live in, that it is a part of life, that slave and free very much rely and need one another. So that’s how it is written and no, of course it isn’t fair and it is unequal, but it’s also almost symbiotic. But some people for whatever reason don’t like it or don’t get it and they hate the fact Danny is a slave owner who doesn’t fight the system. I purposefully made Danny complicated and almost blindly following the system as well as living differently to the expected norm. I unabashedly argue the point, despite that it might lose me some readers.

I also find it very hard in certain fandoms to even write/post in them anymore. Due South is especially difficult I’ve found, so although I love the show and would write more, I found people were very close minded when it came to certain points. I posted a fic that drew some very difficult reviews to take, saying I obviously wasn’t a fan, that the characters were all OOC, that I shouldn’t continue etc. It was tough but now that a few years have gone by, I still stand by the fic I wrote and I’m proud of it. I’ve found that it’s a very tight little community and sometimes fandoms can be like that, so I’ve not gotten involved. It’s not the best way to be I think, fandom shouldn’t be full of wars and arguments but unfortunately a lot can be so I lurk more than I get involved.

Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

I wouldn’t change the endings to any of my completed fics.

I’ve already mentioned I had written a different ending to Break Me Down where Danny died but I just couldn’t follow through, I needed the story to have a hopeful end.

I also wrote a different scenario for ‘Prodigal Son’ as part of The Incubator Verse, where Nathan returns but didn’t want anything to do with Steve because he was a slave. But again, I think I’d put Steve through so much in the stories that I wanted some happiness and something uplifting in his journey and future so I changed my idea for Nathan and his re-joining the family.

Both changes were made before I posted the fics.

40 Questions Meme Part One

heffermonkey — Wed, 08 Apr 2015 15:15:43 GMT

thtwzjustadream posted a meme @ 1_million_words about writing - I haven't gotten through all the questions yet, but here are some I've answered.  I'll get to the others hopefully tomorrow.

For full list of questions, CLICK HERE

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

I’m comfortable writing Angst as long as I give it a happy ending. Most likely slash m/m, usually established relationships, with pwp thrown in and these days I tend to write a lot more BDSM than I ever did. That genre has definitely become more comfort zone for me, which was never purposeful or intended when I first dipped my toes into writing it.

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Case!Fic – I’m currently working on one but I’m not sure where it’s headed or if it will be a successful attempt. Trying to come up with believable plot; fleshing out a serial killers character, motive and reasons; making it darker than my usual style. Do I keep it case centric and within canon; do I divert to add in my personal canon of preferred slash relationship; how do I hold the attention of the reader if I make it a long fic. All questions I’m currently asking myself as I begin to write it.

I also really want to try my hand at some dark!fic, definitely not my usual go to genre so I’m still trying to figure out the kinks and get a jist on it.   I think I could make it work, but I will have to come up with a solid idea that I can mould the fic around.

Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

Genderbending – though I can see the humour in a Genderswap situation, but all out ‘GB’ not my thing. There are also certain areas of BDSM genre that I don’t touch and wouldn’t write, such as bathroom!play, age!play, puppy!play. If there is a genre I won’t read, then I generally wouldn’t write it either.

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

I’m currently working/developing two – one is a serial killer casefic, set in H50, currently named ‘Mermaids’. No idea where I’m going with it though.

The other, I wrote a small fic for an AU prompt not long ago and it’s had great reactions so I’m deliberating if I can make it into a workable plot.

Share one of your strengths.

I think I’ve worked hard at making the BDSM theme in my fics more than a mere ‘bedroom kink’ and strived to give it some respect and context within relationships I write.

Share one of your weaknesses.

It’s the little things that I fall flat on my face with, like using its v it’s (even though I know and understand the rules perfectly), to and too will forever be a bane of my writing. Also because I write slash, using him/his/he when writing two different perspectives can get confusing.

And I can’t write comedy. Not laugh out loud amazing humour fics.

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

One of the hardest for me to write was ‘Break Me Down, Build Me Up’ mainly because it was never meant to be a long fic. I had planned a short, dark, angst fic as a fill or something for a prompt or bingo card, I don’t remember the exact reasons the idea came upon me. So this little fic of Danny being kidnapped and tortured before Steve swooped into the rescue was meant to be just that.
Then all of a sudden it was like, well what if Hesse has him, and tortures him but not physically, not with pain, but mentally breaks him down? What if Hesse actually succeeds and Danny is broken down by the psychological torture and you begin to lose hope that he’ll be the same Danny again? What if they become lovers?

And by that time I was like, well shit, look at those words, and they’re growing and it’s becoming more plotty and really is this believable? Will people buy this as a story? Will they even want to read this?

So yeah, a fic of maybe 2,000 – 3,000 words became 60,0000+

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Strangely enough ‘The Incubator’ was very easy to write, which is surprising as it’s first person POV, it’s an AU, it’s slave!fic, it’s MPREG and it delves into very dark themes concerning abortion, slavery and what could be considered rape or non-con depending on how you read into Steve’s plight. All of those are out of my usual comfort zone.

I don’t even know where the idea for Incubator came from – I didn’t ever write or read MPREG ( I still don’t tend to read it) until the H50 fandom and I’d maybe only written a handful of MPreg fics by the time I sat and wrote The Incubator. The idea formed for an AU in which slavery was part and parcel of the verse and certain males of the population were born with the ability to give birth.
So I sat and wrote The Incubator, from the POV of said Incubator, Steve. I think I had the first draft written in a day. It was one of those fics that just writes itself, you put fingers to keyboard and bish, bash, bosh, there it is.

I was surprised as how well it was received, but it also doesn’t surprise me the criticism it also gets. People don’t like MPreg (well it’s an Mpreg story and comes with warnings so *shrug* why are you reading it), they don’t like the slave factor (to the point I’ve been asked if I support slavery – um no, I don’t, I don’t mean the fic to even glorify the idea of slavery, but again *shrug* it’s in the warnings, no likey, no read’y). They think Danny is very OOC (Ummmm it’s AU, so they’re all OOC in some ways, I mean Steve can get pregnant? How is that in character?).

Incubator was one of the easiest to write, but certainly doesn’t come with easy ways to answer in the comments sections and certainly isn’t easy reading.

Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Definitely a fun hobby, a hobby I’m passionate about but I don’t hold my breath that my fics will become the next Fifty Shades (and having attempted reading Fifty Shades, that’s a fact I’m perfectly happy with).

Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

No episodes per say – definitely the characters, I mean who doesn’t get inspired seeing a cargument between Danny and Steve and then them saying ‘I love you’ so nonchalantly at the office, c’mon, it writes itself!

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

Haha well I think because of the love it got, I’m sure my readers wouldn’t mind ‘Fantasy Triple X’ being made into a movie.

Personally I think ‘Freak’ or ‘Wear No Disguise’ though I think WND would work great as a series more than a movie, because I’ve tried to put a lot of work into the different levels of experience they all have in the lifestyle.   God I sound like I’ve put a lot of thought into the idea :D

If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Steve/Danny – they work in everything, from just friends, to partner fic, to bromance, to lovers, old married couple. They both top, they both bottom, they both can Dom, they both can sub, they both do fabulous angst, they do romance, they have the best arguments, they know how to apologise. Never get old of these two :D

Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Depends on the fic. If it writes itself, then in order, I know in my head the beginning, middle and end. But then there are times I get stuck, so I think ahead, write a scene, go back, see how to connect them. When I wrote ‘Break Me Down’ I knew how it would end, I had the final chapter written for months, I just had to get the fic to that actual point. I changed the very very end at the very last moment, not long before I posted it, because Danny was originally going to die but I couldn’t go through with it. I’m a happy ending person, because I believe there is always hope, even in the most dire situations.

Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

God no, I am the most un-organised person. I get jealous of people who use all the utilities at their disposal, I feel like the poor cousin. The most I do is have folders – which Fandom, WIP’s, quickly noted fic ideas. I have a folder called ‘boneyard’ for fics that I started but won’t finish for whatever reason, I have folders within folders depending on the fic and if it’s part of a series. I have a finished fics folder. It’s about as organised as I get when it comes to writing.

Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Yes, it’s a she but she doesn’t have a name or a face really. I think of her as a teeny tiny shadow figure, who lives in a row boat that floats around stirring the waters. When she’s inspired, she taps at my brain until I get the words out.

Describe your perfect writing conditions.

My bedroom, a cup of coffee, silence or music of my mood (used to be I did my best writing to the greatest hits of ELO à I don’t even know). These days I tend to have silence though, music distracts me. As long as the coffee is flowing I’m good.

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Depends on the fic and how long it is. I’m getting more and more into the habit of putting a fic or chapter aside for a few days before reviewing it and changing it. I think I need to step back a little more for a longer period because mistakes are easily missed.

heffermonkey — Thu, 26 Feb 2015 20:52:01 GMT

Fic 1 -
Title - Drunk Mind, Sober Heart
Fandom - H50
Characters - Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams
Rating - PG13
Summary - Danny gets drunk, Steve rescues him from a bar, flirting ensues and somewhere in between, Danny opens up about his brothers death.

Fic 2 :
Title - Immersed
Fandom - H50
Characters - Steve/Danny/Chin, Grace Williams
Rating - PG13
Summary - A day at the beach goes horribly wrong. The family deal with the aftermath.
A/N - Based in my '3 Men and a Little Lady' series.

Read them both @ A03

Fic: Fantasy Triple X: 2 (H50, Steve/Danny, NC17)

heffermonkey — Tue, 17 Feb 2015 11:52:38 GMT

Title - Fantasy Triple X: 2
Fandom - H50
Characters - Danny Williams/Steve McGarrett
Summary - After Steve made Danny's fantasy a reality, Danny returns the favor.
Warnings - Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Public Sex
A/N - Partner fic to 'Fantasy Triple X'.

Read @ AO3

Fic: Fragmented (Steve/Danny, NC17, A-Z Challenge)

heffermonkey — Sat, 07 Feb 2015 16:24:25 GMT

Title - Fragmented
Fandom - H50
Characters - Steve/Danny

Summary - Danny has been kidnapped and trapped in a box. He is rescued, but some wounds take longer to heal. How will he and Steve adapt, adjust and move on.

Set in my 'Possession' verse (Dom!Steve/sub!Danny).

A/N - So the plot may differ as the story moves on as I know where I'm starting but over the course of twenty six chapters, who knows where we'll end up. Hurt/Comfort for at least the first few chapters.

Written for the A-Z Challenge @ 1_million_words community

Chapter A - Algid, meaning cold, chilly

Thinky thoughts....

heffermonkey — Sat, 17 Jan 2015 14:38:12 GMT

I can happily say that the last few weekks have been very productive in getting back into my groove of writing. Last year was a bust for words in general, just hit a wall, had no inclination and life stuff going on. It happens.

It helps to be part of a writing community like 1_million_words - the prompts have been pushing me to write short fics and stimulating something in my brain to create, so yey for all the peeps over there at the comm, they is so awesome!

A lot of my older fics have been getting attention as well with some nice comments coming through. You get attached to certain fics I find, some I'm happier/prouder with than others. Some are like your fic!babies, you just treasure them always - so when someone says something nice or takes the time to read and leave a note, it's all very much appreciated. Plus I find that stimulates the brain cells also, because sometimes you think hmmm, actually I could really write a missing scene for that fic or series.

So I'm taking advantage of my groove for now and I hope the words continue to flow. I'm also hoping more BBC Musketeers will help me dip my toes in a new fandom for writing, because something fresh is always good :D

Fic - Late Night Kisses (H50, PG, Steve/Danny teen fic - Freak!Verse)

heffermonkey — Fri, 16 Jan 2015 12:45:46 GMT

Fic – Late Night Kisses
Fandom – H50
Characters – Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams
Rated – PG
Summary – Steve steals into Danny’s bedroom late one night.
A/N – set in my ‘Freak’ verse, in which Danny and Steve meet as fifteen year olds in Hawaii. Kissing only, with sex only alluded to. This set after their weekend together at the cove, before Danny’s family plans to bring him home to New Jersey.

Written for the Thursday Trope @ 1_million_words - 'Enter Stage Window.'

Danny was just drifting off to sleep when a tap at his window stirred him back to consciousness. He frowned, snuggled down under the covers and sighed before another tap sounded on the glass. And another, and another. Sitting up he glanced at the window, his room faced out on the beach behind the house and there wasn’t anything to tap against it insistently.

Another tap, louder this time and he realised something was hitting off the glass. He strained to hear movement in the house but his Uncle Marv must have gone to bed, it was a little after 11pm. Another tap made him scowl and he climbed out from under his covers and went to window, looking out to see Steve down below, arm pulled back and another pebble bounced off the window pane. Danny quickly opened the window to stop him throwing any more.

“Steve?” He hissed out quietly as he leaned out of the window. “What the hell man?”

Steve grinned and dropped a handful of pebbles to the ground. Danny heard them bounding off the wooden planks of the lanai.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Danny pointed out to him.

“It’s only 11,” Steve told him loudly. Danny frowned and put a hand to his mouth.

“Shh, Marv’s room is only down the hall,” Danny hissed out low. “If he hears you-.”

“Come down,” Steve said, quieter than before.

“No,” Danny said. “Go home, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Can’t wait that long,” Steve said, giving him a goofy smile. “Come down, please. C’mon D, live a little.”

“No, it’s late, I’m tired and you’re crazy,” Danny said, but he smiled back, shaking his head at his boyfriends crazy antics.

“If you don’t come down, I’m coming up there,” Steve insisted.

“Are you kidding? If Marv finds you in here, he’ll kill us both,” Danny said, drawing away from the window and listening for any movement in the house but it was still quiet. He leaned out of the window again but Steve had disappeared. “Steve?”

There was a sound directly below him and he saw Steve climbing up the trellis on the side of the house, using the drainpipe to help.

“Steve, what the hell man? You’ll break your neck,” Danny insisted, wondering what the hell had happened that had turned his boyfriend crazy.

“S’ok, do it all the time at my place,” Steve said as he climbed higher. “Watch out the way.”

Danny helped as he clamoured through his window. Steve gave himself a boost as Danny pulled and they fell to the floor in a heap of limbs. Steve began laughing and Danny put his hand over his mouth, holding him close, hoping they hadn’t woken his uncle.

“You’re crazy man,” Danny said to him, feeling Steve’s body shake with laughter against him. “Seriously, you’re going to get me into so much trouble if Unc finds you in here.”

“Sorry,” Steve apologised, not looking very apologetic as he lifted up and grinned at him. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself,” Danny frowned at him, sitting up on his elbows as Steve didn’t seem eager to move off him. “What are you doing here?”

“I missed you,” Steve said, leaning in for a kiss.

Danny avoided his lips and shook his head, “You’re crazy.”

“I did,” Steve insisted. “I couldn’t sleep and all I could think about was the weekend and that just kept me awake even more and-.”

Danny swallowed down and gave a small shiver, glancing away. The weekend had been spent at the cove, just the two of them in a tent.

“And I missed you,” Steve finished, leaning close and stealing a kiss before Danny could escape them again.

“Steve man, you can’t – we can’t, not here,” Danny said with a shake of his head. Reluctantly, because he so could do everything right there and then on his bedroom floor, but if his uncle walked in on them he’d be more than mortified.

“I know,” Steve said, giving him a look of understanding. “I didn’t come here for – that.”

“Good,” Danny said before back tracking, seeing a look of surprise enter Steve’s eyes. “No I don’t mean good as in I don’t want to – because I do, again, sometime, but just not here okay?”

“Yeah okay,” Steve smiled with a nod, leaning in for another kiss. Danny met him halfway, their lips parting naturally against one another’s. He could feel himself getting excited, as well as Steve’s obvious desire and he pulled away with a gasp. “Jesus Steve, you really should go before we-.”

Steve pulled back and swallowed down hard, giving a nod of reluctance. “Yeah, okay I know.”

“We’ll figure something out, yeah?” Danny said, cupping the back of his neck gently.

“I’ll put my thinking cap on,” Steve grinned, kissing him lightly before climbing off him and pulling him to his feet. “I did come over just to see you, you know? No strings.”

“I know,” Danny assured him. “Course I was finding it hard to sleep; now I’m not sure I will at all tonight.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something brah,” Steve said with a wriggle of his eyebrows. “Sweet dreams D.”

“Go you idiot, before we’re caught out,” Danny insisted, pushing him towards the window.

“Bye,” Steve laughed, climbing back out of the window easily and moving down the wall again.

“Hey Steve,” Danny said, leaning down before Steve disappeared from his view. He leaned down and kissed him again, “G’night.”

“’night,” Steve smiled, scaling down the wall of the house easily, jumping down to the lanai and jogging back over the sand to get next door to his own house.

Danny watched him until he disappeared from view and closed his window again, grinning like a love sick puppy to himself as he collapsed onto his bed. Steve had certainly left him feeling uncomfortable in his pants and he let his hands drift, thinking back on the weekend, on Steve’s late night visit and goodnight kisses. He hoped they could figure something out, because he couldn’t imagine going for very long not being with Steve like they had been that weekend. That would be a travesty.

He didn’t go straight back to sleep and the idea of Steve being in the exact same state as himself, back in the privacy of his own bedroom, turned him on even more. When he did finally fall asleep, it was in a satisfied haze.

~ fin ~

heffermonkey — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 22:03:40 GMT

Fic - Wallflower
Fandom – H50
Rated – NC17
Summary – Danny finds it very disconcerting that Steve can find out all manner of secrets from his mother. It’s so unfair having a boyfriend who your parents adore.
A/N – was given the prompt ‘Wallflower Social Club’ a while back. I have totally forgotten why or where so if it was you who prompted me, please give me a heads up. I know it was through some challenge at 1_million_words .
~

Steve couldn't help but snort, because it was such a bizarre concept. At least at first, but the more he thought about it, the more it sort of made sense. Clara smiled sweetly and took a sip of her wine, eyes glinting over at Steve as Danny glowered at the both of them, he being the subject of their current conversation.

"I know, it's hard to believe," Clara giggled impishly. "My Danny, a wallflower. But he was, he really was."

Steve laughed and sat back, grinning over at Danny with a nod, "Actually I can believe it, when I think about it."

Danny gave a tut and rolled his eyes, shaking his head at the two of them, not liking the topic of conversation being his love life in high school.

"I'm guessing you were the Casanova of your high school," He said sarcastically to Steve. "I can imagine everyone falling over themselves for a piece of the number one jock."

"Now, now Daniel," Clara said, reaching over to give his cheek a pinch, giggling again. "You're only making yourself sound jealous."

"Mom I love you, but Steve doesn't need any ammunition in making fun of my life, any part of it, be it love or otherwise," Danny said, trying for a scowl but failing in view of his mother’s twinkling eye.

"I'm not making fun," Steve shook his head, trying to look innocent and failing miserably. "I find it quite endearing to think of you as a wallflower Danny."

"Shut up," Danny snapped gently at him. Steve grinned and took a drink of his beer.

"Any way," Danny chided at him as he continued, "What do you mean you aren't surprised?"

"Oh Danny, he was only teasing," Clara admonished gently, pushing her chair back. "Excuse me, I'm going to the ladies."

Steve smiled as Danny still looked at him for an answer, giving a small shrug. "It's just- when it comes to actually asking someone out, you are kind of shy," Steve pointed out to him quietly.

"And yet here we are," Danny smiled, looking triumphant.

"And yet how long did it take for us to get here Danno?" Steve said, giving him a wink and a smile.

"Hey, it's not like we don't come with a lot of baggage remember?" Danny pointed out to him. "And I don't think my Mom realizes I wasn't so much a wallflower as desperately trying to figure out if it was normal to be attracted to both girls and guys. I sided with no it wasn't normal for pretty much my entire teenage years. That's tough to deal with when it comes to prom. And - well I was a late bloomer as they say, didn't grow into my face until I hit seventeen, until then I was all spots and craters."

Steve smirked again, recalling pictures of young Danny, giving him a wry look, "You were cute Danny, I'd have dated you back then."

"Huh puh-lease, you say that now, but you wouldn't have looked at me twice," Danny chuckled. "Any way, I'd have said no, because at the time I was terrified of how my Pop would react to me liking boys, never mind wanting to date one."

They paused in the conversation as Clara rejoined them, slipping into her seat.

"What did I miss?" Clara asked with a smile.

"I'm just telling Danny I'd have asked him out back in high school," Steve smiled.

"He was cute wasn't he?" Clara said proudly as only a mother could.

"And he got better with age," Steve grinned. Danny rolled his eyes as his mother cooed in delight at the romance. Steve looked pleasantly pleased with himself, gaining Mom points was an important part of dating Danny he'd found. Thankfully Clara found him as endearing as he found her. Danny hated that they got on so well, often asking Steve what they were plotting together. Nothing ever bode well when Steve and his Mom put their heads together to make 'plans'. The fact that Steve spoke to his parents as many times as he did in a week wasn't something he was entirely comfortable yet. Not that it in any way deterred Steve from talking to them.

"Do you two want dessert?" Danny asked, trying to change the subject. Why did it always come back to him being the topic of conversation? He wouldn't mind, only his mother found it enjoyable to tell all his childhood secrets to Steve who lapped every bit of information up.

"I'll have mine later," Steve grinned at him pointedly. Danny felt himself flush and glowered at him. Clara gave a knowing giggle and didn't say anything at all. Danny wondered if you could go to special hell for hating two people you loved so very very much.

"I'm fine thank you sweetheart," Clara said after a pause. "I should get back to the hotel, I said I'd call your father before eleven and it's getting on now."

"We have time for coffee if you want," Danny suggested, not wanting to rush her.

"No, no," Clara waved a hand and shook her head. "It's been a long day, I'd like to rest before tomorrow. I just know Grace will have us shop till we drop."

Danny smiled just at the mention of Grace's name and nodded in agreement, getting the waiters attention to ask for the bill. A few minutes later, they'd paid and were heading outside to hail cabs.

"Are you sure we can't take you Clara?" Steve asked as a cab pulled up.

"Of course, we're in different directions," Clara smiled, leaning up to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for a lovely evening."

She gave Danny and a hug and kiss, squeezing him tightly, "I'll call you when I get to the hotel."

"You could have stayed at my place," Danny said, again, having already suggested it a million times before. Clara laughed and gave him a small push.

"And miss out on your father treating me to a hotel stay, even when he couldn't come himself," She giggled, climbing into the cab. "I'll call you. Bye my darlings, bye."

They waved her off and another cab drew up in its place. Danny gave Steve a soft push before he climbed in, sliding along the seat.

"You two are incorrigible," Danny told him before giving the driver Steve’s address. "I honestly don't know why I put up with it. I knew I should have taken her out alone."

"I love your Mom and you know she'd have insisted on my being there," Steve laughed in reply. "Do you really think keeping us apart would stop all your secrets from pouring out?"

"This is all very unfair," Danny shook his head, trying to look as upset as possible but failing quite incredibly considering Steve's smile made him smile himself. "I mean not to upset you or anything babe, but it isn't like I can rely on gaining all your teenage secrets coming out from your parents is it? Mary knows a little, but you're pretty safe in that regard."

"I know," Steve grinned, looking like the cat who'd got the cream.

"Such an ass," Danny sighed, leaning back and watching the world go by as they drew nearer to home. When the cab pulled up to the house, Danny got out and dug around in his pocket for his key as Steve paid the driver. He let them in and Steve closed the door behind them.

"What did he say by the way?" Steve asked him as Danny slipped off his shoes. "You're Pop, when you told him?"

"Honestly?" Danny said, pausing in thought. "Well I dunno what I was expecting, probably to get yelled at, that they'd be disappointed. Took me a few weeks to build up the courage to actually say anything, nobody knew, not my sisters or Matty. I came close a few times but I would talk myself out of it, convince myself that they wouldn't understand or tell me I was wrong, confused. When I finally told both of them, they didn't say anything at first. I mean it was unexpected, because I'd been sure to keep everything as secret as possible when it came to my liking guys. They asked me if I was sure, if that was really, honestly how I felt. When I assured them it was - well I won't say it was immediate acceptance, but then I think they just needed to get their heads around it you know? Different era, different way of being brought up? They asked a few questions, well Mom did and I thought Dad was disappointed in me, that he was angry because he didn't say much at all. But then he was straight up honest with me - said he didn't really understand and that he wasn't sure what it meant for my life other than it might be more complicated, but he did know one thing and that was that they were my parents and parents are supposed to love their kids unconditionally so it didn't matter who I was, what I wanted to become, who I fell in love with, because there was no condition in which they'd not love me. I think that's one of the best things my old man taught me about being a Dad, just letting your kid be who they are and making sure they know they are loved. That you don't love anybody else like you love your kids."

"That's real nice Danny," Steve smiled, moving closer to put his arms around him. "A good life lesson to hold onto."

"What about you? How'd your parents take it?" Danny asked him, resting his hands on Steve's hips.

Steve gave a small shake of his head, "I hadn't really figured things out when the accident happened and Mom disappeared. My Dad sent us away so soon afterwards and then, once I was in the academy, training, joined up - well you know what the rules were at the time. When I did see Dad, I was so used to keeping it secret, I never told him. I like to think he'd have been happy and supportive, but I never got to find that out."

"And Doris?" Danny asked, watching Steve give a small grimace in response to his mother’s name. He was still dealing with the fact she was alive, roaming the world but not part of his life after disappearing again.

"You know she was so determined to think we could go back to being normal, that she could be Mom again, that she didn't stop to consider the damage she was trying to fog over from so many years," Steve replied. "I didn't want to tell her, because I didn't think she'd earned the right to know or have any kind of judgement, whether she accepted us or not. At the time we were just figuring stuff out, I didn't want her involved. By the time I maybe would have told her, well, she skipped out again."

"I'm sorry babe," Danny soothed softly. "Everyone needs support, no matter what you're going through."

"Hey we got Ohana who love us," Steve smiled, leaning in for a kiss. "You make your own family."

"Yeah, who's that?" Danny grinned, pulling him in for a longer kiss as Steve laughed himself.

“Did you seriously go solo to your own prom?” Steve asked him when they pulled apart, a smile dancing on his lips and in his eyes.

“No, I took my friend, Lisa,” Danny admitted. “We went just as friends. She was in the wallflower club like me.”

“Wallflower Club?” Steve repeated with a small laugh, giving him a squeeze. “Poor Danno, so tragic.”

“Shut up,” Danny said, trying to look stern but laughing along with him. “It was junior prom okay, nobody had asked either of us and we figured better to turn up with a friend than solo. I had a proper date at senior prom, Tammy Aldrich, even though I really wanted to take Jesse Feldman. He was hot – he was also the quarter back and had no interest whatsoever in me or guys in general. But a kid can dream, or in my case, fantasize.”

“You had a thing for football players D?” Steve asked, wiggling his eyebrows at him in amusement.

“Most sporty guys,” Danny retorted, pulling away from him with a teasing look. “You know, tall, dark, deliciously handsome, hot and muscular.”

“Huh, and here I was thinking you didn’t have a type,” Steve smirked, drawing closer to him but Danny still edged away.

“Well I did, but I grew up, settled for middle aged, peppery grey, obnoxious Neanderthals,” Danny grinned, laughing and trying dodge out of Steve’s grasp when he wrapped his arms around him and backed them both up to the couch.

“I am not middle aged,” Steve growled huskily against his neck, pushing Danny onto the couch and following him quickly down.

“Okay, fine, not middle aged,” Danny laughed, squirming when Steve’s lips tickled along his collar bone as his fingers made quick work of the buttons of his shirt. “Definitely Captain Caveman when you get all possessive like this though.”

“I think you’ll find it’s just the obnoxious Neanderthal,” Steve retorted between nipping his jawline and kissing him hard. “Marking his territory.”

“Could he get naked while he’s at it?” Danny asked, giving him a push to lift up so he could tackle Steve’s buttons too.

A shrill sound interrupted them and Danny frowned before fumbling in his pocket for his cell.

“Leave it,” Steve pointed out, pushing his shirt apart and smiling at the feast of Danny’s naked torso he revealed.

“It’s Mom,” Danny told him as he looked at the screen. “Do you want to deal with her if I don’t answer?”

Steve grimaced, gave a small shake of his head and looked at him as Danny answered the phone.

“Hey Ma,” Danny said after clearing his throat. There was a pause as he listened to Clara talk. “You’re back in your room huh? Good, yeah that’s cool – Yeah it was a nice night – yes Steve enjoyed it too-.”

Danny paused again as he listened to Clara talk, glancing up at Steve and flushing before he looked away again, dropping his voice a little though it was impossible to talk without Steve hearing.

“Yeah I know Ma, I do – yes, I do! Well no, I haven’t quite said it yet, - I will, I know, – Mom look it’s late, remember you wanted an early night because of shopping with Grace tomorrow? We’ll talk tomorrow okay? I love you. Okay bye.”

“What was that?” Steve asked, lying against him, an arm over Danny’s chest which he rested his chin on. “Sounded serious.”

“No, no nothing serious,” Danny said quickly, blushing a little and avoiding his gaze.

“You do what?” Steve pressed for an answer, grinning.

“What? What are you talking about?” Danny frowned, giving a small shiver.

“You agreed with her and said yes you do,” Steve said, recalling the conversation. “And whatever it was has got you all – shy. Is this the inner wallflower coming out Danno?”

“You know you – you do not play fair my friend,” Danny said, trying to sound nonchalant and failing brilliantly. “You pull out the low blows. Do you know it’s rude to listen in to peoples conversations?”

“Uh, we’re making out on the couch,” Steve chuckled, tickling his sides softly. “I am literally on top of you. Did you want me to cover my ears?”

“Speaking of making out,” Danny said, giving him a tug and hoping Steve would get back with the program which involved getting his pants undone to ease his current erection. “We doing this?”

“What’s got you all flustered baby?” Steve asked, tone low and husky as he pressed a kiss to Danny’s chest.

“Nothing, I-,” Danny paused and swallowed down because Steve really did know exactly where to tease with that beautiful mouth of his. He shivered involuntarily as Steve’s tongue flicked out against a sensitive spot. “I’m totally fine, so not flustered and so enjoying that.”

“What is it you haven’t said?” Steve asked, failing to forget the current topic of conversation as he seduced his lover.

“You know you really should choose the right time and place to put your nose into other people’s business,” Danny protested with a soft moan as Steve’s tongue flicked over his nipple. “Which really isn’t when your mouth is doing seriously amazing things like that.”

Steve licked and toyed for a few seconds before he nipped down on the bud, earning a gasp from Danny.

“C’mon, tell me,” Steve teased. “If you tell me I’ll keep going.”

“And if I don’t?” Danny asked him with a sigh.

“Well I’ll still keep going,” Steve admitted. “Only I’ll make you feel very guilty in the process for not trusting me enough to tell me.”

“I hate you so very much,” Danny groaned out as Steve settled in to give his left nipple as equal attention as he’d currently paid the right.

“It’s fine,” Steve whispered, licking and laving at the nub softly. “You don’t have to tell me, I don’t need to know.”

Danny could hear the unspoken guilt. God Steve needed to stop spending time with his mother, he’d learned to guilt trip far too easily under her excellent teaching skills.

“So very very much,” Danny repeated with a sigh. Steve nipped his nipple before licking over it again. Danny moaned and arched as Steve’s fingers got in on the action. “Fine, I’ll tell you.”

“God you’re so easy,” Steve laughed, lifting up a little.

“You don’t play fair,” Danny complained, as Steve sat up and began unbuckling Danny’s belt, making swift work of it and starting on the button and zipper of his pants.

“Sorry wallflower, but you know the kind of man I am,” Steve smiled as he undid his pants and began pulling at Danny’s waistband to pull them down over his hips and thighs. “You know I don’t stop until I uncover the truth.”

“Why are you still dressed?” Danny asked him with a frown. “Pretty sure I started taking your shirt off.”

“Don’t change the subject,” Steve laughed, reaching down and taking Danny’s cock in his hand gently. “I have ways of making you talk.”

“Mmmm fuck I know,” Danny agreed as Steve’s hand jacked up and down his cock gently.

“C’mon, tell me D,” Steve teased, enjoying taking his lover apart like this. “There’s a blow job in it for you.”

“I will not be bribed Steven,” Danny said sternly, before moaning low. Never mind Steve’s mouth, he had excellent hands, knew exactly what to do with those. “Oh god this – I should not be talking about conversations with my mother as you jack me off. Fuck.”

“Just tell me and you won’t have to,” Steve smiled, not losing his grip as he quickened his rhythm a touch.

“She said she loved you okay, and I said I did too,” Danny said quickly, moaning and arching up his hips into Steve’s touch. “Fuck babe, that’s – that’s good. Yeah. Fuck no don’t stop – what-.”

“You love me?” Steve said quickly, looking him in the eye.

“Well duh doofus, of course I do,” Danny said, taking in a deep breath. Steve still had a hold of his cock and this was so not the way he expected things to be going. “She said it, I said it, then I realized I’ve not actually said it. To you I mean. So there, I said it. I love you. No wait– what’re you doing?”

Steve clamored up his body until he was hovering over him, looking at him with a serious expression, staring into his eyes deeply.

“I love you too,” He said after a minute in which Danny became decidedly uncomfortable with Steve’s intense stare.

“Well okay then,” Danny said with a small nod. His heart gave a small clench and he couldn’t help but smile. “Now that you’ve got me to confess, any chance we can -?”

Steve laughed, leaned down and kissed him hard as he reached down between them, fumbling to undo his own pants and getting his own cock out. He pressed his hips down and aligned himself with Danny more fully as they pulled apart with a panting groan.

“Jesus babe,” Danny moaned up at him as Steve got to grips with both their cocks, fingers fumbling a little at first as he lifted up on one arm to add some friction. “You got this?”

“Hell yeah,” Steve assured him with a nod, rocking against him, their cocks sliding together. “Oh fuck yeah.”

“Fuck, yes baby just like that,” Danny panted with a smile, laughing softly at the pleasure and connection. He anchored a hand behind Steve’s neck, the other sliding over Steve’s ass to feel the muscles working as Steve rocked and slid against him. He grinned up at his lover, taking in the expression of Steve’s face as he enjoyed the pleasure he aroused in both of them. “Thought – you were gonna - give me – a blow job – fuck babe. Oh fuck Steve.”

“Later,” Steve grunted out as he slid against him firmly, his hand tightening around their throbbing cocks. “Promise.”

“Jesus. Oh my god babe,” Danny felt his chest tightening, unable to keep the breath in his body long enough to keep the blood pumping. Everything felt on fire, adrenaline fuelling his energy, breathing hard, pleasure pooling deep in his gut.

Steve didn’t let up the rhythm or grip and it drove Danny crazy, driven slowly to the edge and held there for what seemed like eternity. He writhed, moaned and held on to his lover tight, the smell of sweat and sex in his nostrils, the air hot and tight in his lungs.

“Fuck baby, god I gotta come,” Danny croaked out when he couldn’t take anymore, feeling his whole body beginning to tense up, arching his back rocking his hips up against Steve’s.

“Yeah D, gonna come for me baby?” Steve whispered, letting go of their cocks and taking Danny in hand firmly. Danny yelled out in surprise, head falling back as he gave in to the pleasure his lover was creating in him.

“Steve, yeah, yes, fuck, fuck baby,” He squirmed and whined out Steve’s name as everything hit him at once, lungs burning as he groaned and writhed, feeling his cock pulsing over and over in Steve’s grip. “Yes, Steve, Steve.”

He felt limp and lifeless, feeling Steve let go of him gently and hearing a hitch in his lovers breath. He opened his eyes and found Steve staring down at him, mouth slack as his arm worked quickly. Danny reached up and pressed a hand to his chest, the other resting at his hips to steady him, staring back as Steve jacked himself off.

“Oh fuck Danny,” Steve groaned as he drove himself to the edge. “Oh god, fuck yes.”

Danny felt his cock twitch as Steve panted and groaned loudly, shouting his name as he came. His come hit Danny’s stomach in thin, creamy streaks. Steve worked his cock until his hand became too slippery to keep a grip, collapsing in a panting, pleasure exhausted heap on top of him.

“Jesus that was-,” Steve breathed heavily against him.

“Fuck yeah,” Danny agreed with a grin, wrapping his arms around him. “That was hot.”

“Score one for the wall flower huh? Getting to fourth base with the quarterback,” Steve said as he nuzzled against his neck.

Danny let out a snort and laughed, squeezing him tighter, “God I hate you sometimes.”

“Nope, you love me. I heard you say it. No back-sies,” Steve said, kissing the nape of his neck gently.

Danny laughed again, unwilling to let go of him despite that he was being crushed by Steve’s larger, heavier frame. Felt too good, being squished by all that hot, sweaty, tall dark and handsome muscular frame.

God he did have a type and he didn’t care who knew it.

~ fin ~

Fic - Bond, chapter six, (Rick/Kau'i, NC17, Dom/sub verse)

heffermonkey — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 18:36:31 GMT

Fic - Bond
Fandom - based in my Wear No Disguise verse which is H50 Danny/Steve
Rating - NC17
Characters - Richard Steadman, Kau'i Keahi, various characters
Summary - How Rick and Kau'i's realtionship evolved from aquaintances to life partners. Prequel fic to 'Wear No Disguise'

Chapters - One / Two / Three / Four / Five

~

~ Four Months ~

"Aren't we-?" Kau’i asked with small confusion as Rick walked them past the playroom door.

Rick paused and glanced behind him, giving Kau’i's hand a squeeze as he led him further along the hall.

"That's the playroom I use for clients," Rick told him. "Let me show you around up here. You've not seen my private rooms before."

He led Kau’i into his wing of the mansion. Only himself, John and a select few of the staff frequented the spacious part of the house. Rick opened up a door that led into his private lounge. It was a large room looking over the front drive of the house. Shelves lined one wall stacked with books, comfortable sofas and a Persian rug were the focus of the room. A small drinks cabinet to the left. He let Kau’i have a look around before pulling him by the arm again.

"Guest bathroom," He said, opening the door to a spacious bathroom en suite. He moved to a door close by, revealing the guest bedroom itself. "I don't have people stay often."

"My office," Rick said pointing to a door opposite. "Usually where you'll find John most mornings."

Kau’i smiled and the continued further along, Rick paused at a door, giving Kau’i's hand a squeeze. "And this will be where we'll spend some of our time together."

He took out a key from his pocket and unlocked the door, giving it a hard push. Kau’i could see it was a heavy door from the push alone and couldn't help being curious about what was beyond. Rick took his hand and led him inside.

It was a large play room, classically coloured in rich reds and accentuated with black. The walls were a dark crimson, the carpet a thick pile underfoot, an almost black red to look at. Erotic black and white photographs of Dominant's and submissives in various poses and forms hung on the walls. There was equipment of every kind but set out carefully, as if planned to be a unique part of the room without being crowded on top of one another. A black leather armchair was positioned close to the window, with a simple, straight backed chair beside it. Shelves and a large ornate cabinet were stationed on the back wall. When Kau’i looked to his left from the door, the wall was adorned with chains and instruments of many uses. It was breath taking and imposing all at the same time and it took him a few minutes to take it all in. His keen eyes picked up on small details, like the 'o' rings at various points on the walls, a pulley type system on the ceiling, designed to tie a submissive up and hold them in place in whatever position the Dominant wanted them in.

"This is," He said after taking a look around, swallowing down as he turned to Rick who was watching him closely. "Beautiful. Truly Rick -."

Rick walked over to him calmly but there was a look in his eye that made a shiver of nervous butterflies travel the length of Kau’i's spine.

"Thank you," Rick smiled, running a hand over his cheek, his other arm wrapping around him and pulling him closer. "But that is the only time you'll say my name in this room, understand?"

Kau’i gave a nod of understanding. It was a different playroom, but the same rules applied. Some of them would be amended according to their new relationship, but not that.

"Yes Sir," Kau’i said politely. "I understand and I apologise."

"We'll go over all the rules later," Rick promised, giving him a squeeze. "But first, take a good look around, get acquainted with it and tell me if there's something you absolutely do not want or will not take part in. I want you to be completely comfortable in here Kau. The same goes if there's anything you think could be added."

Kau’i smiled and looked around quickly before giving a frown and looking at Rick, "No Andrews Cross?"

Rick gave a small laugh, pressing a kiss to his lips before pulling away, "Clever boy," He said, pulling Kau’i across the room to another door near the ornate cabinet. "This door leads to the Master bedroom, so we don’t need to use the main hall."

He opened the door and led Kau’i in, hearing Kau’i give a small laugh of amusement. The Andrews Cross was set up at the foot of the bed.

"Like it," Rick grinned, pulling him close as Kau’i give him a small push.

"This meant to make me feel welcome?" Kau’i smiled.

"Yeah, is it working?" Rick laughed.

"Weirdly, yes," Kau’i replied, taking a look around the bedroom. In stark contrast to the play room, the bedroom was bright, floor to ceiling windows led to a balcony outside with a view of the gardens and ocean beyond. A large, imposing, four poster queen sized bed was the feature of the room. An en suite bathroom was across the room, and a large walk in wardrobe alongside it.

"The bedroom, bathroom and playroom all have doors that lead out into the main hall," Rick said, motioning with his hand. "The playroom access is kept locked at all times from the hallway. You may have noticed the doors are pretty heavy in there, I had it sound proofed to keep the noise to a minimum. Like I say, only a few of my staff are allowed into my private wing but I don't want to embarrass them having to listen to my play times. Our playtimes. So, how do you like it?"

"This place is amazing," Kau’i nodded. "I always thought that anyway, but these rooms," He nodded towards the playroom, "That room especially. Beautiful."

"Good, I'm glad you like them. Like I said, I want you to be comfortable here," Rick said to him. "Especially in there. So go take a closer look around. Anything you don't like tell me. Anything you're unsure of, ask me. And especially inform me if there's something that you love."

Kau’i grinned and pressed a kiss to his mouth eagerly, "Yes Sir."

~

"I want to toy with you," Rick whispered into Kau’i's ear. Kau’i shivered in response, feeling his heart beat faster at the idea. "Will you let me play pet?"

Kau’i nodded, finding himself tongue tied for a moment before choking out a nervous, "Yes Sir."

"Undress for me," Rick told him, stepping away and leaving him feel suddenly bereft. Kau’i took a moment to take a deep breath as Rick stepped around him, watching him carefully. Kau’i undressed under his intent gaze, feely strangely shaky and on edge. Rick was staring at him possessively which made him all the more want to please him. He removed each piece of clothing slowly, folding it and setting it to one side on the floor until he was naked. Standing straight he waited for further instruction.

Rick moved over to him, wrapping his arms around him and giving him a squeeze of reassurance. "Don't be nervous. I want to enjoy you. I want you to enjoy me playing."

"Don't know why I'm nervous," Kau’i admitted, hugging him back. "I don't want to disappoint you. This is the first time – as a couple."

"You're not going to, I know the kind of submissive you are already remember?" Rick told him, pressing a kiss against his neck. He pulled back and tipped Kau’i's face up to look at him. "Place yourself on the frame. Facing the bed."

He stepped back and waited, Kau’i moved over to the frame, butterflies in his stomach. It took a moment to fight the nerves as he got into position. It wasn't the first time he'd been on an Andrews Cross with Rick, but there in the bedroom as his true submissive now and not some client who'd hired his time, it was all the more real. He wanted this to be good for both of them. He stretched his legs to rest against the beams of the lower end of the cross before reaching up and out to stretch his arms, finding hand holds just at the edge which he had to stretch further to reach, just beyond a comfortable grasp.

Rick came to his side, holding up some black strips of silken bondage ropes. "Are you happy for me to bind you to it?"

"Yes Sir," He nodded in agreement. Rick got to work, wrapping black stripping around his left wrist numerous times before knotting it off, repeating the same on his left. Rick knelt down and Kau’i had to not look down himself, seeing Rick so close to his cock which was already half hard. A hand rested against his ankle, giving a small tug and he shifted to accommodate, feeling bondage rope wrapping around his ankle. Rick moved to his right side and again, adjusted his footing. He gripped at the handholds trying to hold his balance, the stretch in his legs making it difficult to keep his balance which of course was Rick's aim. Rick tied off his other ankle and he tested all his bonds habitually, knowing it would be impossible to escape them.

"There now," Rick said standing up, trailing his hand all the way up Kau’i's leg, hip, up his side to rest on his shoulder. "Perfect."

He drew closer, pressing his fully clothed body up against Kau’i's naked form. Kau’i relaxed as Rick kissed him, gentle and slow, taking his time as they connected. Rick's hands travelled over his body as they kissed, never staying in one place and Kau’i pulled at his bonds only because he wanted to return the touches in kind, his bindings holding him steady.

Rick's mouth pulled away, instead trailing down the side of his neck to his shoulder, nipping and kissing over the skin, his hands pinching and rubbing his hips and thighs. Leaning over, Rick pressed his mouth against his right nipple, licking and scraping his teeth there before nibbling lightly on the small nub. He moved to the left and did the same, this time the pinch a little more painful, making Kau’i gasp. Rick looked up at that, grinning, fingers trailing up to pinch the right nub and roll it between his fingers.

"I'm going to enjoy toying with these," Rick said against Kau’i's chest. "Another day. I'll get out my clamps and weights and see just how much I can make you squeal. That sound like fun pet?"

"Fuck, yes Sir," Kau’i said as Rick pinched and pulled against his left nipple again.

Rick laughed and stood up straight again, hand behind his head and kissing him again, harder this time, mouth possessive, tongue licking into his mouth, fingers tightening in his hair. He kissed him until Kau’i felt his lungs begin to burn and when Rick pulled back he breathed hard, chest pounding.

"I'll be right back," Rick promised, hand trailing over his body as he moved away.

Kau’i tried to follow his movements but he moved behind him out of his eye line. When he tried to arch his head back to look around, it did nothing to help his balance and he reminded himself to refocus. He turned to face forward, regaining some composure as he tried to get comfortable. Looking down at the bed didn't do anything to help calm him, only turned him on more. The bed was large and imposing and he had no doubts Rick would make sure he understood who was the master of it. Kau’i's eyes trailed to the bedposts and his heart beat harder again as he spotted chains hanging from them, ready for use. Richard has certainly planned on making an impression for when they transitioned to the bedroom. What would it be like to be lain out on the bed, spread eagled, chained up and used? Glancing up he also noticed Rick hadn’t been joking about the suspension bracket. Kau’i let out a soft moan at the thought, feeling his cock pulse in positive reaction.

"Letting your imagination run are we?" Rick said from behind him, bringing his thoughts back into focus.

"Your bed leaves little to the imagination baby," Kau’i replied with a small laugh.

"Mmmm, it will look so much better with you in it," Rick had to agree, coming to stand beside him. "It's also somewhere comfortable for me to sit and admire you, which I will do, once I've finished playing a while."

Kau’i gasped in reply as Rick's hand settled on his cock and began stroking with long, slow caresses.

"Now listen carefully Kau’i and look at me when I'm talking to you," Rick said, still stroking him slowly. Kau’i turned his head to better look at him, trying not to gasp out every time his fingers travelled his length and his thumb teased over the head. "I want to flog you. Do you have any objections?"

"No Sir," Kau’i replied quickly with a shake of his head.

"I know you don't respond positively to too much pain, so tell me if it becomes less pleasure more pain," Rick reminded him. "Use your safe word or the colour system, understand?"

"Yes Sir," Kau’i agreed, swallowing down before gasping out.

"Good boy," Rick smiled, pulling his hand away and stepping back. "I'll try to be gentle."

Rick had chosen a favourite flogger of his. A mixture of leather and suede, with a soft bite and sensuous feel. It would both cause a snap as well as teasing, soft sensation. Kau’i tensed when he saw Rick pull his hand back and bring the flogger around, the touch hitting off his chest. He let out the breath in surprise at the gentleness.

"Relax, just breathe," Rick reminded him with a smile. "Enjoy it pet."

"Ungh yes Sir," Kau’i grunted as the flogger hit again. A sting hit off his left nipple but the flogger also felt like several soft tongues gentling over his skin.

Rick was careful and slow, making sure to hit the tails off his chest, gentle on his stomach, his shoulders and arms, thighs and legs. It was more sensual than anything and Kau’i's cock grew harder and harder in response. He began to feel himself drifting into a submissive zone, focusing on Rick, on the touch of the flogger and caught up in his bondage. When the tails began flicking at his cock he grunted and cried out, head back and closing his eyes tight. His arms and legs were already straining from the position and as he writhed he did nothing to help his awkward stance, desperately trying to maintain his position. The tails nipped and softly caressed his balls and he writhed, breathing hard to compose himself.

"Sssh pet, calm down," Rick said calmly, not ceasing with the continuous motion of flicks and making it impossible for him to remain calm.

"Please, stop," Kau’i gasped, trying to remember to breathe and not get so lost in his feelings that he lost control. That would be embarrassing for their first time as Dom and sub.

"Are you in pain?" Rick asked him carefully. Another flick of the flogger landed on his inner thigh.

"No Sir," Kau’i replied, writhing, fingers uselessly scrambling for the handhold. He could barely keep himself upright now and the bondage dug into his skin, making him drift further into his submission.

"Then I should stop why?" Rick asked, hitting him with the flogger lightly again.

Kau’i bit down on his lower lip and groaned helplessly.

"Do you want to say your safeword or Red Kau?" Rick asked.

"No Sir," Kau’i replied honestly, shaking his head.

"Then what you should be saying," Rick said, moving closer, his hand running over the heat and sweat of his body. "Is please Sir more. Or thank you Sir. Or simply letting me hear how much you enjoy how I play and tease your body for my own amusement."

He caught Kau’i's chin in a tight hold with is fingers, causing him to focus on Rick's face, eyes dark and dilated with passion and lust. "Tell me to stop again without meaning it and you will be punished."

He let go again and stood back to better inspect him, eyes sweeping over his entire body and Kau’i struggled to stand properly. Rick smiled and looked at him, running the flogger through his fingers.

"You aren't anywhere near done yet pet," Rick laughed at him. "I'll know when you are."

heffermonkey — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 18:12:16 GMT

Title – Shoulder to Lean On
Fandom – H50
Rated – G
Characters – Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams
Summary – Steve calls Danny after the call with Catherine.
A/N – was prompted for platonic Steve & Danny fic. Not sure I hit the nail on the head, but this is what spawned in my brain. Friendship fic coming at ya!
~
Steve felt like he was in a daze when he automatically speed dialled Danny and lifted his cell to his ear. The call rang through a little longer than usual and he frowned because usually Danny didn’t take so long. It dawned on Steve that it was late night and Danny was probably asleep, his realisation confirmed when Danny answered, voice raspy and low.

“Hello?” Danny said down the phone, sounding like he’d been woken up.

There was a long pause where Steve considered hanging up because it was stupid really, calling Danny so late, he could talk to him in the morning at a more decent time. When he didn’t reply, Danny’s voice came through sounding more alarmed.

“Steve? Sup, we catch a case?”

Steve heard him yawn, his words half muffled probably by his hand.

“No, sorry,” Steve said with a shake of his head even though Danny couldn’t see him. “I – sorry D, guess I hit the wrong speed dial on my cell. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

He hit the button to end the call abruptly before Danny could reply and dropped his hand down to his knee. He was sitting out on the back porch, staring out into the pitch black, moonlight barely hitting the ocean because of the cloud cover. He could hear the waves but barely discern them through the darkness, just heard them crashing on the shore. His cell rang and for a hopeful moment he held it up, but Danny’s picture and name was on the screen. He considered dismissing the call but he knew Danny wouldn’t be ignored for long.

“Hey,” Steve answered, swallowing down around the lump that lurched painfully at the back of his throat.

“It’s after midnight,” Danny said, sounding more awake than three minutes ago. “Shouldn’t you be in bed?”

“Yeah I guess,” Steve agreed, standing up. “G’night Danno.”

“Hang up on me and I swear I’ll drive over there just to punch you,” Danny warned him. “You don’t call someone accidentally in the middle of the night Steve. What’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing is going on,” Steve lied. The lump was getting bigger and when he rubbed a hand over his face it felt damp. “Sorry for waking you up Danny, really. Go back to sleep.”

“Jesus Steve,” Danny said, sounding serious, voice coming through gentler this time. “You sound like shit. What’s wrong? Is it Joanie?”

Steve smiled and could almost laugh because trust Danny’s instincts to instantly be concerned about Mary and the baby.

“No, no, Mary and Joanie are okay,” Steve assured him.

“Well something has happened and I’m not hanging up until you tell me what,” Danny informed him. Steve knew if he hung up on him, Danny would be on his doorstep in ten minutes no doubt about it.

“Before I called you,” Steve began, drawing in a deep breath. His chest hurt and he felt sick to his stomach. “I – Catherine and me, we, she called, we talked.”

There was a dead silence and Steve ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes and tried to understand how in one simple phone call it was all over between them.

“Steve, man I-,” Danny stuttered as he read between the lines what Steve was saying to him. “I’m coming over.”

“No, it’s the middle of the night D,” Steve said shaking his head. “Go back to sleep, we can talk tomorrow.”

“Already heading out of the door brah,” Danny informed him. “Be there in ten.”

~

Danny let himself in, finding Steve moping on the sofa, slowly nursing a beer. Danny set the six pack he’d grabbed out of his fridge down on the coffee table. Steve looked at the beers then up at him with eyes that were brighter than usual, skin red and puffy. Danny sat down beside him and put a hand on his arm.

“I’m sorry man,” Danny assured him gently. “It’s a real shit deal.”

“You know I kinda knew it was going to happen,” Steve shrugged, taking a sip from his bottle. “But I didn’t want to admit it you know? When she didn’t mention coming home after rescuing Najib. When she started talking about helping out, setting up the school and stuff. I knew, I could hear it in her voice, she’d found something she really wanted to do and felt she was making a difference.”

“Doesn’t make it any easier,” Danny consoled quietly, grabbing himself a beer off the table and popping off the cap. “I know how much you both cared for one another.”

“Wasn’t enough though was it,” Steve said bitterly, swallowing down a mouthful of beer. “She said she loved me, but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”

“Steve, don’t do this to yourself,” Danny shook his head at him. “You know she loves you and she knows you love her.”

“But she found something better,” Steve said, looking at him with unshed tears.

“No, she just-,” Danny said, squeezing his shoulder again as he tried to come up with a reasonable answer, only when it came to love, everything could be so complicated. “You know when Rachel filed for divorce, I still loved her and I know she still loved me. But it just wasn’t meant to be and I don’t know why really. It just was the way things went for us. Unfortunately babe, in life, this stuff happens and there’s no real easy way to understand why.”

“She said to move on, find somebody else,” Steve said, looking away and Danny could see the pain, the raw emotion as he recalled the phone call that had taken place. “I thought she was the one you know? How am I supposed to move on from that?”

“It’s not going to happen overnight,” Danny pointed out to him. “Or next week, or next month. It’s going to hurt for a long time, but you will move on Steve, eventually.”

“I miss her you know,” Steve said, rubbing a hand over his eyes before the tears there spilled out. “But I just focused on the day she’d be back. Now she’s saying she might not come back and I just – I miss her.”

“Of course you do,” Danny nodded. “We all do. She was my friend, Kono’s, Chin’s, she was part of the family. Part of us will be sad she’s not here, but part of us has to be happy she’s where she wants to be.”

“It’s hard, knowing you aren’t enough,” Steve said, voice cracking again. He took another gulp of his drink to prevent breaking down completely.

“Steve, you know that isn’t why,” Danny said.

“Yes it is,” Steve said angrily, sitting forward and focusing on the wall in front of them. “I love you, but I don’t want to be with you – it’s a slap in the face. It’s a fuck you to our whole relationship.”

“Babe, I know it feels like that,” Danny said gently, sitting forward and tentatively putting a hand on his back. “But you know Catherine. You know it isn’t that easy.”

“We should never have gone there,” Steve said grimly. “I should have made sure we got her out before we came home.”

Danny stayed quiet, rubbing his back soothingly instead. Steve was running high on emotions and there was little point in arguing. Time was a healer, Danny had learned that in the divorce. He felt Steve’s body shudder weakly under his hand and realised he was crying. He still didn’t say anything, let Steve get everything out now, in the dark of the night with only his best friend to witness the pain and anguish a break up put you through. Danny remembered how the divorce had sent him on an emotional rollercoaster, and Matty had been the one to comfort and support him through it, being there for him when he cried, when he got angry, when he tried to pick up the pieces. He didn’t focus on thoughts of his brother though, because that was something he currently couldn’t fix. Matty was still on the run and who knew where he was in the world.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said as he wiped his eyes.

“S’ok,” Danny assured him. “Better to let them out now than tomorrow at the office, because that would really be embarrassing.”

Steve gave a watery smile and a soft chuckle, “Yeah I guess. Thanks Danno.”

“Hey, any time, you know that,” Danny reminded him. “How’s about we get drunk and watch whatever shit they put on at this time of night? We can talk if and when you want to.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve nodded in agreement, taking the remote control off the coffee table and handing it to him. “You choose a channel, I’m going to go clean myself up.”

He stood up and headed for the stairs before pausing and looking back at him.

“Danny, thanks you know, for coming over,” He said quietly.

Danny could already see tears forming again, figuring maybe Steve was making an escape to cry a little more. He guessed maybe there was only so much kicking Steve’s pride could take in only a few hours. Danny got it, hell he’d lived it through the divorce, crying had become second nature for a time. He gave a shrug and looked Steve in the eye with a nod of understanding.

“Any time man, you know that,” He said firmly.

~ fin ~

Fic: Bond (Chapter 5 - Rick/Kau'i, NC17, Dom/sub verse)

heffermonkey — Wed, 14 Jan 2015 23:26:27 GMT

Fic - Bond
Fandom - based in my Wear No Disguise verse which is H50 Danny/Steve
Rating - NC17
Characters - Richard Steadman, Kau'i Keahi, various characters
Summary - How Rick and Kau'i's realtionship evolved from aquaintances to life partners. Prequel fic to 'Wear No Disguise'

Chapters - One / Two / Three / Four

~ two months later ~

Over the next couple of weeks they went out on dates. Rick had given the idea of them some thought and he thought he owed it to himself and Kau’i to test the waters and see if it was worth taking the risk. The more time he spent getting to know Kau’i, the more he found himself investing in the idea of a real relationship with him. They were both careful about how intimate they were and it was surprisingly refreshing not rushing into sex or exploring their lifestyle choices in any deep way. They both knew each other as Dom and sub, but they needed to understand the personalities that fed into those roles. It also helped put them on a more level footing when the time came when they'd become more intimate.

It was two months before things began escalating, not quickly but at an easy measured pace. Rick had treated them to dinner, though he'd been careful not to show much display of wealth, afraid he'd make Kau’i uncomfortable. But he found himself wanting to spoil him more and more, an evident sign of his inner Dominant, wanting nothing more than shower his submissive with gifts. He could be tough and strict, but he was also sure to show his caring side and not only with sentiments and gentle shows of affection. After the restaurant he'd invited Kau’i back to his home, not withholding any of his intentions to get intimate as he waited anxiously for a reply.

"Actually why don't we go back to my place?" Kau’i suggested. Rick was surprised, looking at Kau’i closely before he answered.

"Ok if that's -," He began, Kau’i gave him a bashful smile.

"I'd feel more comfortable," Kau’i admitted. "Not that your place isn't great. It is, more than. But it's also imposing when you know about that playroom of yours."

Rick smiled and squeezed his hand with a small nod. "I'd like to see your place."

"It's nothing compared to the mansion," Kau’i laughed. "You realise I'm just a mere lawyer don't you Richard."

"One of the youngest partners in your firm, a good track record, a promising future," Rick said to him. "Nothing mere about that."

Kau’i led the way up to his apartment. It wasn't too small but not sprawling either and he knew, next to the mansion it was a tiny place. But it was home and he was proud of it, having worked hard enough to pay for it. He didn't entertain often so it was nice to invite someone in. It was open plan, homey and inviting and he'd been lucky enough to land a view of the cityscape and in the distance the ocean stretching into the horizon.

"Very nice," Rick said with a smile, taking a look around. Glancing at the few surfaces Kau’i had for ornamentals he noticed he had few photographs displayed. Kau’i had never mentioned family on any occasion worth remembering and Rick realised they'd neither of them openly spoke about their family backgrounds.

"Drink?" Kau’i asked from the kitchen area as he opened the refrigerator. "I got a nice sweet white chilling or beers if you prefer. Think I have some reds in the rack too."

"Red please," Rick said with a nod. "Merlot if you have it."

"Okay," Kau’i nodded, closing the door and instead turning to the few bottles he had in a small wine rack, selecting one. Rick wandered over as he pulled out the cork and took out some wine glasses from a cupboard.

"Mind if I ask you something?" Rick asked, leaning on the kitchen island that acted as a divide between the living area and kitchen.

"Sure," Kau’i shrugged.

"It's about your family," Rick warned, gauging his reaction. Kau’i gave him a quick glance before busying himself pouring two glasses out.

"What about them?" Kau’i asked after an awkward pause.

"Tell me if it isn't any of my business," Rick told him.

"Depends on the question," Kau’i said, turning to him and handing him a glass. "Let's sit down."

They moved over to the sofa, sitting close but space enough to look at each other as they conversed.

"You don't have any photographs up," Rick said motioning around the room. "Guess it made me curious about your background. We've never spoken about our families."

"I'm an only child," Kau’i explained, taking a sip of his wine and sitting back, giving a wry smile. "And I've not spoken to my parents for years. When I came out as gay they didn't want to hear or accept it. For a long time I denied who I was because I wanted them to be proud of me and because I was afraid of having to go it alone. Only it got too hard and I got to the point of thinking that if they couldn't love me for who I really was, then they didn't love me at all. There's been attempts to make contact over the years but it's just too difficult, they've never made an attempt to know who I am."

Rick nodded in understanding, reaching out and interlinking his fingers in his comfortingly. "I know what it's like. My parents were the same. And consider the difference in our ages. It's only ten years but if you think of the time I came out to my parents, when Aids and HIV were making headlines, more and more people coming out, the ignorance of people when it came to the gay community. My father threw me out that same day, I was seventeen and I had no idea what I was going to do. Luckily my mothers sister was more sympathetic and although it caused their relationship to shut down, she supported me until I could stand on my own two feet. My father died five years ago of a heart attack and my mother three years ago of cancer. I don't know if my dad ever found it in him to accept who I was and I was able to make contact with my mother before she passed but she was loyal to a fault to my dad and things were never how they should have been. Aunt Bea retired to Maui last year with her, well what I call, sweetheart. I travel to see her a couple of times a year."

"Does she uh, know what you do to make a living?" Kau’i asked with a grin.

"She knows enough but not everything," Rick laughed. "She supports me as she always has and as long as she knows I'm happy it's enough. As long as I, 'keep the kinky stuff to myself' as she says."

"Oh god she sounds amazing," Kau’i laughed in reply. "You're lucky to have someone like that."

"So you struggled on alone?" Rick asked, sobering up. "Must have been hard."

"I had friends who helped me over the years and my parents detestation of who I was merely fuelled me on to be myself," Kau’i replied.

"So how did you come to discover and begin exploring the lifestyle?" Rick asked curiously.

"College," Kau’i laughed again as he drank more wine. "Believe me you discover a lot about yourself in college. How about you?"

"One of my first partners was a submissive. We'd dated for sometime before he suggested we play around with some role-play, admitting his desires. Guess it spun out from there," Rick said. "He introduced me to people in the lifestyle and I began to explore it more in depth, realised how much I enjoyed it but also how many people were unable to explore that side of themselves for various reasons. I met other Master Dominant's and Dominatrix's and decided I wanted to be like them, so I submitted myself to their teachings in order to learn."

"You were a submissive?" Kau’i asked in surprise.

"Well yes in a way," Rick nodded. "To them. They were part of a circle as it were and in order to be guided, I had to submit to them. I think it's important to know what the submissive is going through on some levels, to better connect. I think it's made me a better Dominant. Now I'm a Master Dom in the circle also."

"I didn't know that," Kau’i said. "Who are the others?"

"That's for me to know," Rick laughed with a shake of his head. "Some of them rely on anonymity. Stick with me long enough though and you may find out."

"You make it sound so mysterious," Kau’i grinned.

"Well it isn't fun if all the mystery and secrecy doesn't surround it," Rick laughed again. "Plus some of these people have important jobs. Not all of them are like me, taking on clients to learn and grow in the lifestyle. Some of them are public figures and need to stay hidden. There are submissives loyal to the circle also and again, rely on it's anonymity."

"Curiouser and curiouser," Kau’i smiled. "The whole time I've been exploring the lifestyle in Oahu I've not heard of this circle of Masters and Mistresses."

"And I'm trusting you to keep quiet," Rick said, squeezing his hand. "Please Kau’i."

"I'm a lawyer," Kau’i reminded him. "You can trust me to keep a secret."

"I know," Rick agreed. "But I'm not asking you as a lawyer, but as a friend and someone I'm entering a relationship with also. I told you because I don't like secrets and you need to know that part of my life, for now, will remain one but only so far as to hide their identities from you. I want you to understand why."

"All right, I understand," Kau’i replied. "You can trust me Richard."

"Thanks," Rick smiled. "So what about after college? Were you in any long term relationships with a Dominant? I know you've been single for a while now. Any particular reason for that?"

"None as heartbreaking as your past," Kau’i smiled, giving a shrug. "Some relationships were, vanilla, shall we say. I was in a long term relationship with someone in my early twenties where I didn't touch on the lifestyle at all. But it's also the reason we broke up. I ventured on occasion to suggest to him to just play around but he was a pretty straight laced kind of guy. As much as I loved him I knew it couldn't last if I had to bury that side of me, so I broke it off. He didn't really know the full reasons why and sometimes I feel guilty for not explaining properly but it just wasn't meant to be. There's been some Dominant's along the way, for a long time I had a Dom where we only met up to scene, but you know how it is. It isn't the same as a proper commitment and I've always wanted more. I want a relationship where the roles don't define us, but they are there in the background even so. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah that makes sense. You don't want something 24/7, but you don't want it resigned to the bedroom," Rick said with a nod.

"Yes, something like that," Kau’i nodded in agreement. "What about you?"

"I'm pretty much the same," Rick agreed, giving him a smile. "You know me Kau, I'm a control freak."

"Nah, you like to put out the vibe but I think you want someone to love you for who you are. You've got a vulnerable side to you that not many people see. You need taking care of as much as you feel the need to take care of someone else."

"You seem to think you know a lot about me," Rick said, setting his glass of wine aside and moving closer. "But what if you're wrong?"

"I'm a lawyer. It's my job to know people," Kau’i reminded him with a small laugh. "I'm not wrong. We live a lifestyle where trust is a key element. That means you need to trust me as much as you are asking me to trust you."

"I haven't asked of anything of you yet," Rick pointed out, running his hand deliberately along Kau’i's thigh. Kau’i didn't push him away but rather settled further back against the cushions.

"Then ask me now," Kau’i told him, waiting patiently.

Rick glanced down and took his glass off him, setting it on the table beside his own before turning his attention back to him with a smile.

"Do you trust me?" He asked simply.

Kau’i gave a small nod before confirming it with words, "Yes Sir."

Rick smile grew and he leaned closer and for a moment Kau’i stopped him, a hand on his shoulder with a small show of resistance. Rick frowned, wondering if he'd somehow misread the signs but Kau’i looked him in the eye.

"Do you trust me?" Kau’i asked in return.

Rick knew it wasn't going to be easy. Not the Domination and submission, that side of them, that would be the most natural thing in the world. It already was, he knew Kau’i's potential in his role and was eager to expand on it together. But it was the personal side, the vulnerability and fears he himself had. He was a tough nut to crack but Kau’i had learned more about him that same evening than he'd ever told anyone beyond John in years. It wasn't much but it was something.

"Yeah I trust you," Rick said after a long pause. "Just, be patient with me Kau. I trust you but I still don't trust myself. Part of me is still scared I'll destroy you like I did-"

"I'm not him," Kau’i shook his head, his hands cupping his face. "I'm not him Rick. I'm Kau’i Kahili and I'd like a relationship with you. As your friend, your lover and as your submissive. I'm not made of glass Richard and I will tell you when I think you're going too far, if I can't handle what you are doling out and when I think you're being a grade A ass-hole. If you trust me then you'll trust me to be honest about that. I know you care enough to listen."

"We'll take it slow," Rick said with a smile.

"Not too slow I hope," Kau’i grinned.

"Eager aren't you?" Rick laughed, letting Kau’i pull him closer. He teased his lips near Kau’i's, not quite touching and feeling how his breath hitched in response.

"You kidding," Kau’i whispered back, pawing at his shirt but holding back from pulling him closer still. "All this time, knowing what it's like to submit to you without fully giving myself to you. Eager isn't quite the word I'd use."

"No more holding back," Rick told him.

Kau’i nodded in agreement, "That goes for both of us."

~

"You still with me?" Rick whispered, moving to lie beside him, a hand gentling over his skin.

Kau’i's response was lax, weighted down with bliss and he turned to move closer into Rick's hold.

"Barely," Kau’i replied without opening his eyes. "Need time – that was-."

"That was what?" Rick laughed, pressing his mouth against Kau’i's cheek, trailing up to his temple and forehead. "Good?"

"Mmm," Kau’i nuzzled against him. "Don't make me talk. Let me hold on to this feeling for a while please."

"Ok sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere," Rick promised. "For the record, I thought it was incredible."

Kau’i gave a small laugh, fingers skimming over Rick's hip. "I aim to please."

"Good, because I intend to train you in all ways of pleasing me," Rick told him. "As well as learn how to bring you pleasure, over and over and over again."

"Hmm," Kau’i responded, sounding positive about the suggestion. Rick smiled and wrapped him arm tighter around him, holding him closer.

They lay quiet and still, bodies cooling after the heat of sex, sharing comfort in their satiated bliss of one another. Eventually Kau’i unfurled a little, lifting up, satisfied smile edging his lips.

"I've not felt this good in a long time," He told Rick, fingers dancing over his chest. "Or been quite so satisfied afterwards."

"That was nothing," Rick teased, a glint in his eye. "We're only just beginning."

Kau’i leaned down, pressing a kiss to his skin and lying against him, propping his chin on his chest.

"Maybe next time we can play at the mansion," Kau’i smiled playfully.

Rick ran his hand down Kau’i's spine and back up, gently stroking and gave a smile. "If you want. You said you wanted to come here because it's more comfortable. I don't watch to rush things. I understand your needing our first time to be somewhere more neutral."

"Yeah but I bet you've got a Queen size bed," Kau’i laughed, making Rick laugh gently too.

"Ah so it's the size of the bed rather than the equipment I keep in the drawers," Rick grinned. "You've not seen my bedroom. I'm not sure you're ready for it yet."

"Chains on the bedposts? Andrews Cross in the corner," Kau’i chuckled lightly.

"Nah, I keep the Andrews Cross in the playroom usually," Rick smiled. "But it's easily moved. As for chains on the bedposts, I'm glad they won't just be show any more. It's the suspension bracket I have over the bed you really got to worry about. I’ve had many nights coming up with ideas of how to put it to good use."

"Will you provide the cuffs also or shall I bring my own?" Kau’i asked with a grin, lifting up and edging up a little to better look Rick in the eye.

"Let me get to know you a little better and maybe I'll have some custom made," Rick promised. "From me to you."

"Ha, dating for a couple of weeks and already promises of personalised gifts," Kau’i smiled, leaning in for a kiss.

"Maybe one special gift one day," Rick whispered when Kau’i pulled back again. Rick ran a hand along Kau’i's neck and Kau’i flushed and glanced away in surprise at the implication. Rick realised it was too early to be saying such things, letting his mind run away with him in the heat of the moment and stroked Kau’i's cheek gently. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, don't apologise," Kau’i shook his head, giving him a shy smile. "I – I'm not freaked out by the sentiment, far from it. It's just, it's been a long time since anyone wanted too. I know we aren't anywhere near that yet but it's still nice to hear all the same."

"I know what kind of man you are and the kind of submissive you are capable of being," Rick reminded him. "It will be an honour to collar you, when we're ready to take that step. But not yet."

"No, not yet," Kau’i shook his head. "But you've given me something to work towards."

"It's something for us both to work towards," Rick corrected. "Together."

Feb - The Rambling Meme

heffermonkey — Wed, 14 Jan 2015 23:19:16 GMT

At the beginning of 2014 a 'rambling meme' was doing the rounds and I'm resurecting it for February in hopes some prompts etc might help me write. All words in the meme will go into my Feb word count @ 1_million_words - posting this now incase people requests fics that may need time planning.

Meme

Pick a date below and give me a topic to talk about. It can be anything from fandom related (characters, actors, storylines, shows, ships) to real life stuff like pizza preferences or a day in the life of the heffermonkey.

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Fic: Bond (Chapter 4 - Rick/Kau'i, NC17, Dom/sub verse)

heffermonkey — Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:32:37 GMT

Fic - Bond
Fandom - based in my Wear No Disguise verse which is H50 Danny/Steve
Rating - NC17
Characters - Richard Steadman, Kau'i Keahi, various characters
Summary - How Rick and Kau'i's realtionship evolved from aquaintances to life partners. Prequel fic to 'Wear No Disguise'

Chapters - One / Two / Three / Four

~

"Gees would you relax," John said, putting his hands on Rick's shoulders and giving him a small shake. "It's a date, you're allowed to go and enjoy yourself on it."

"It was a bad idea, I shouldn't-," Rick began but John cut him off before he could finish.

"Stop. Now. You are going on this date, you are going to have a good time. You are going to get into that thick skull of yours that a nice man, a good man, wants to take you out, date you, hell he wants a relationship with you. And you are going to give yourself and him this chance."

"Or what?" Rick said with a small smile. John could be quite forceful when he wanted to be, which made him an excellent switch.

"Oh I'll think of something," John promised. "You may be a Dominant but I've picked up skills along the way, I have a whole range of punishments I can apply."

"Yeah? Like what?" Rick said, giving him a small push and checking his reflection once more, adjusting his tie a smidgen.

"I'm your PA remember, I can make things very difficult for you," John reminded him. "Just to start off. You know what you get like if you don't have your schedule."

"Terrifying," Rick smirked. "That all you got?"

"Don't push me Richard," John warned him. "I've got Kau's number remember. Nothing stopping me from calling him and telling him what a prick you can be."

"I think he's already got that part figured," Rick laughed, turning away from the full length mirror in his room. "Thanks John."

"Any time," John nodded, checking his watch. "He'll be here soon."

"And you're leaving now?" Rick asked hopefully.

"Fuck off, I want to see this," John laughed as he headed for the door. "Richard Steadman, going on a date. I saw a flock of pigs fly by my window this afternoon."

"Fuck you," Rick said following him, both of them laughing as they headed down the stairs.

~

Rick couldn't remember being this far down town in a long time. Usually when he went to restaurants they were more up-scale, but then his wallet could afford him the luxury. Kau'i had done well for himself, becoming one of the youngest partners at the law firm he worked for. But his wage was nothing like Rick's wealth and his choice of restaurant reflected that. Rick didn't comment on it, it was a sweet place, with a lovely atmosphere and a relaxed feel.

"You're probably used to more expensive tastes," Kau'i said as they looked over the menus.

Rick glanced over to him, reaching out and putting a hand over his where it rested on the table. "Probably, but it's a nice place. Any way, it's about the company. We could have gone to a McDonalds and I'd have been happy. A little overdressed but -."

Kau'i grinned and looked over the menu again, but their hands remained clasped on the table.

They made small talk over the food, Rick avoiding the conversation they were meant to be having until eventually Kau'i asked outright.

"So, you did say we would talk about why you're so against relationships," He said, trying not to sound too intrigued. It was Rick's story to tell and if he didn't want to share he wouldn't push for details.

"Yeah I guess I did," Rick nodded in agreement. "Only we're having such a nice evening I didn't want to spoil to mood."

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want too," Kau'i pointed out. "It would just be nice to have some facts about why you've pushed me away so hard for so long."

Rick went to reply and Kau'i held up a hand with a small smile, shaking his head, "Please don't say 'it's not you it's me'. You're not that cliché Richard."

Rick smiled wryly and reached over to take his hand, bringing it down to rest on the table again. "My last relationship ended very bitterly Kau. The man I was with, David, I loved very much. He broke it off and I was devastated, even more so because he was so resentful towards me and our relationship and I don't know where all the animosity came from. I suppose now, a few years on I can see he needed help beyond our relationship, had problems and hang ups we never faced or addressed and he blamed me for his problems. But I was left pretty raw by the whole situation and I've never trusted myself not to fuck up again. So I don't do relationships, I pour myself into my work and it's my life now. This is who I am."

"So you gave up being close to someone because the last person you were with left you and blamed you for the failed relationship?" Kau'i said, giving his fingers a squeeze. "Takes two to tango as they say."

"The way things ended, he acted like I'd trampled him into the ground," Rick said with a pang of regret. Even now his relationship with David left its scars.

"And you think that would happen again?" Kau'i said. "Had it happened before? Did every relationship before David end so painfully?"

"No, of course not. He was the first man I committed to with any sense of building a future together," Rick explained.

"And when he left that future you had planned in your head was ended. Doesn't mean you give up on love Rick," Kau'i reminded him. "There's been nobody since him?"

"The odd attempt," Rick shrugged in thought. "But no, nothing substantial. Nobody I truly cared enough about."

"That's a shame. Anybody would be lucky to have you," Kau'i smiled, thumb rubbing a circle against his skin.

"Not everybody thinks of me the way you do Kau," Rick admitted. It was nice to be wanted to so much, even if he didn't think he deserved it. He'd had lovers over the years, people who liked him well enough but nobody who'd pursued him quite in the same manner or enthusiasm as Kau'i.

"Good," Kau'i laughed in enjoyment of the fact. "Else I'd have missed out."

"You could do better," Rick pointed out to him. He was young, intelligent, attractive and Rick had seen people at his parties and clubs. Kau'i got everybody's attention, but he seemed oblivious to the fact, which made him all the more appealing to everyone.

"You say that," Kau'i shook his head. "And I'm amazed that anyone with your competence, you're attitude and character can be in so low opinion of themselves. You're respected, well liked, people enjoy your company. The lifestyle isn't the easiest of ways to live, but you give it an integrity not many strive for and you encourage safe practices in a safe environment. You want people to embrace parts of themselves they'd usually hide away and you give them the chance to do that in a safe, private place. It surprises me that for all that, you deny yourself the same happiness over one failed relationship."

"You build me up too much," Rick said, a little embarrassed that Kau'i saw so much in him.

"Oh I know you aren't perfect," Kau'i laughed and shook his head. "Nobody is. I'm not wanting perfect, I just want you. From the first time I met you I wanted you and I'm not going to deny it. I couldn't keep my eyes off you and I thought it was just because of the situation and where we were, in your home where you could be yourself. But it's never been something I could shake off, so I never did. I stepped back because you made it clear it wasn't going anywhere, I needed space to try and get over you or at least control how I felt around you. It hasn't been easy and I never really succeeded. But if this is it for us, just this one date, well I may as well take the opportunity to admit how I feel."

"I haven't had anyone pursue me the way you have," Rick said after a moment, thinking over Kau'i's words. "You've never pushed and you've never asked, not in a forceful way. I'll be honest, when we first met you were just another man, another submissive at one of my gatherings. But I watched you as we met in different places, not just you but the people who were around you, there's something about your manner Kau. You're eager to learn, confident but there's a certain quality of innocence about you. And the way you embrace your submission, it's so natural, you don't deny it. But you've never submitted to anyone the way you have to me and I'm not even your Dominant."

Kau'i dropped his eyes for a moment to where their hands were clasped and when he looked back at him, the look of longing in them jolted through Rick's spine.

"No, you aren't. But I never wanted anyone else and I thought if I could impress you enough maybe there'd be a chance for us. But you began pushing me away and I thought it was because I wasn't good enough."

"I knew you were hoping for more and I couldn't give you that," Rick admitted. "I thought it was best not to encourage you further. Save you the hurt."

"So is this it then? I won't go where I'm not wanted Rick, I wouldn't do that to you. If you really don't want me, then I've told you the truth and we can walk away."

"You could really walk away?" Rick asked in concern. Looking at Kau'i's expression he knew it would be hard.

"If I have too. No point in chasing someone who doesn't want you back," Kau'i shrugged. "Just means we wouldn't see each other. If I can't have you, then I couldn't be around you, it'd be too hard."

"I wouldn't-," Rick began, squeezing his hand tighter. "I couldn't not have you around Kau'i. That would be harder. These last few weeks, after you cancelled your sessions and avoided being around, that was harder than I expected. Seeing you at the house again last week-."

"I'm sorry about what happened," Kau'i said quietly. "I got in over my head, it was a stupid mistake."

"Yeah, you did. And if you ever do it again I'll deal with you properly," Rick said, feeling a rush of possession as he remembered finding him and Luca. He caught Kau'i smirking at the notion and gave a smile himself. "You know what I mean."

"Promises promises. But if this is it for us, you won't be around to see me making more stupid mistakes like that," Kau'i reminded him.

"It is a promise, one I intend to keep," Rick said, looking him in the eye. "I can't say if this will or won't work, I can't promise I won't get cold feet now and then because I'm afraid of hurting you. You'll have to deal with that side of me who holds you at arms length because I'm scared of destroying you."

"Then you'll have to trust in me enough to take you as you are and help you through all those things," Kau'i smiled, leaning closer. "All I'm asking is for you to have a little faith in yourself and me. If it's meant to be, then it will work and if it isn't, well at least we've given it our best shot."

"I'm not an easy man to live with and I'm an even worse Dom to please," Rick warned him.

"Then we'll work on how much a pain in the ass you are to live with and it's up to you to train and guide me in order for me to please you," Kau'i said with a laugh. "If I'm as good submissive as you say I am, I'd hope it wouldn't take that long to learn."

~

"You going to come in?" Rick asked as Kau'i guided the car up the main drive to the house.

He watched as Kau'i gave a small smile, pulling the car around and parking without reply, turning off the engine.

"Maybe not tonight," Kau'i shook his head. "We've admitted quite a bit tonight to one another, maybe we should sleep on it, make sure we feel the same way in the morning."

"You mean me," Rick said knowingly. "I'm a man of my word Kau, you know that."

"Rick you've been resisting me for months now, and while is feels nice to know you might actually be weakening to those advances, I want you to be really sure in yourself this is what you want. Everything seems nice over a romantic dinner, but in the light of day you might have reservations. This is me giving you some space to decide. I'm not going anywhere, I know where my head is at. Plus, I'm not that easy," Kau'i laughed, looking over at the house and back to him. "We're doing this a little backwards, you've seen me naked and you know how to turn me on. Let's get to know one another better before things get more personal."

"What makes you think I was inviting you in for anything other than coffee," Rick asked but he gave a small laugh. "Okay, I understand what you're saying and thanks. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Hold you to it," Kau'i nodded with a grin.

"Thanks for taking me out, I had a great time," Rick smiled, leaning over, a hand cupping around Kau'i's neck. "Least give me a little something more to think about."

Kau'i gave a small laugh, letting him pull him closer and sharing a gentle kiss, Rick's fingers rubbing gently against his neck and scalp.

"Bye," Rick said, reluctantly pulling away. It had been a long time since he made out in a car and he knew he needed to get out of there before further explorations were made.

Fic: Bond (Chapter 3 - Rick/Kau'i, NC17, Dom/sub verse)

heffermonkey — Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:18:30 GMT

Fic - Bond
Fandom - based in my Wear No Disguise verse which is H50 Danny/Steve
Rating - NC17
Characters - Richard Steadman, Kau'i Kahlili, various characters
Summary - How Rick and Kau'i's realtionship evolved from aquaintances to life partners. Prequel fic to 'Wear No Disguise'

Chapters - One / Two / Three

~

"Richard."

Rick turned in surprise at the voice. He honestly hadn't expected Kau'i to come to the party, though John had made sure to drop into conversation Kau'i was on the list of invites.

"Kau'i, hello," He said, reigning in his surprise. "It's good to see you here."

"Thanks," Kau'i smiled, a little tightly. "Nice turn out."

"The regular faces, one or two new ones," Rick shrugged, glancing around. "Are you here with anyone?"

"Just Amoka," Kau'i replied. Amoka was a mutual friend who had first introduced them. "But you never know who you'll meet."

"So you're still seeking what you need," Rick said. Kau'i pierced him with his eyes but nodded quietly.

"Well as you said, you never know," Rick said, sounding lame to his own ears. "It's nice seeing you Kau. Thanks for coming. I should-."

He motioned to the room and Kau'i nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, see you around."

Rick moved on, heart thudding in his chest, blood pounding his veins. Kau'i looked as good as usual, but there's been something in his eyes, a hurt Rick knew he'd put there. The conversation had been strained.

The evening passed in its usual style, mingling on the lower floors, play going on upstairs. Kau'i worked his way around the crowd, catching up with aquaintances, making new friends, flirting with the odd Dom but with no real goal in mind. He managed to stop himself from focusing on Rick every time he sensed he was in a room with him. He'd taken time to get the guy out of his head, the idea of them ever being more than friends banished away. Rick had made it perfectly clear that whatever he was feeling was one sided. It hurt but at least the man was honest with him and Kau'i respected that above all.

He needed to move on, he needed to let go. He'd been enjoying their sessions and it had been the first time he'd truly begun to explore the many levels of submission and how he wanted to embrace that and channel it into his life. Sessions with Rick had been groundbreaking on that score for himself and he'd learned so much. But he'd let his feelings get in the way and he'd gotten the hint. Rick was looking for more than he offered and while it was a blow, he understood. Rick was a Master Dominant, an expert in the lifestyle. Kau'i knew he was small fish compared to the type of submissive Rick deserved and needed in his life, but he was grateful for the opportunity to learn from a man like him.

Since his last session with Rick he'd not been with anyone, played no scenes, hadn't embraced his submissive side in any form. Being surrounded by so many like minded individuals at the party made that side of him crave for some play. Flirting with Dom's only tipped the iceberg on what he wanted to do and as the evening wore on, he paid more attention to making it evident he was happy to play if anybody took on the notion.

Eventually his efforts paid off, a Dom he'd seen on occasion at other parties and in the clubs downtown, cornered him in the kitchen as he poured himself a drink and invited him upstairs. Upstairs was devoted to playtime scenes and Kau'i thrummed at the chance to submit. The guy wasn't his usual type, but he didn't doubt they'd have fun. Still, he was wary of just saying yes, so didn't appear too eager at first as the man pressed nearer, backing him against the corner of the units. It was nice to have someone so intent on seducing him.

"What did you have in mind?" Kau'i asked, because he had limits and wasn't about to submit to someone with different ideas.

"I want to tie you up and play," The guy grunted, settling a determined gaze on him.

"Perhaps we should exchange names first," Kau'i smiled.

"I like some anonymity," The man replied. "You can call me Sir or Master, whichever you prefer. I'll call you anything I care too, depending on how good you are. Are you interested?"

"I have limits," Kau'i warned.

"Of course," The Dom replied. He was a native to the Islands, skin darker than Kau'i's, a rich caramel setting off his dark brown eyes and thick black hair pulled back in a ponytail. Kau'i figured he'd look good with it down, framing his high cheekbones and slender jawline. He was handsome and oozed a control born of his Dominant nature. "I'm only looking for some fun boy. I promise to make it good."

Kau'i liked his possessive nature, the way he watched him with deep intensity, daring him to say no. After a pause he nodded and the man smiled, taking his hand and pulling him away from the counter.

"Not much time left, let's not dawdle," He grinned, pulling Kau'i through the kitchen towards the main foyer of the house. Kau'i laughed and followed, letting the excitment build as they headed up the stairs. On the upper levels people were in the hallway, Dominants pressing submissives against the walls in possesive holds, submissives on their knees servicing their Dom's. Moans of sexual pleasure filled the air, along with the sounds of play. There was a few main rooms for play, none of them exclusive and couples mingled together for space as they scened. But a couple of smaller rooms were free and Kau'i found himself alone with the Dom in one of these and before he knew it he was pressed up against the wall, fiercely kissed. After a couple of moments getting his brain into gear he relaxed, letting the other man set the tone and pace.

Groaning he widened his legs as a solid thigh slid inbetween, firmly rubbing against his crotch. The Dom's fingers were in his hair, tugging and pulling painfully. Kau'i moaned again, the feeling travelling down to harden his cock. Just as breathing was becoming difficult and he began to wonder if he could come just from the simple contact alone the Dom pulled away and he slumped against the wall to keep from falling.

"Strip," The Dom said, turning away.

Kau'i couldn't get out of his clothes fast enough, watching as the Dom picked up some bondage rope. It was a simple room, with some toys and equipment in the corner, a metal frame in the centre for various uses depending on the Dominant's imagination.

"Over here," The Dom demanded and Kau'i moved quickly to obey, craving the possessive touch again. "You have limits against bondage?"

"No Sir," Kau'i replied. He enjoyed bondage, it made him feel caught and exposed as well as gave him the freedom to let go.

"Hands," The Dom said and Kau'i held them out to him, licking his lips as the rope tightly bound his wrists together. The Dom reached up, looping the end through a 'o' ring on the frame, giving the rope some strong tugs until Kau'i's arms were bound above him. He pulled harder, making Kau'i stretch, standing on the balls of his feet and satisfied with his position, tied off the end to the frame.

"Uh, perhaps this is when I should mention my safeword is strawberries," Kau'i said, a sudden rush of nerves overcoming him. They hadn't exactly talked things through as to what the Dom had in mind, or what he himself enjoyed.

"Strawberries. Understood," The Dom nodded. "Spread your legs boy."

He'd picked up a spreader bar and knelt on one knee, latching one end to Kau'i's ankle and then the other. It made it harder for Kau'i to keep his balance and he winced at the strain on his arms and shoulders. It felt good, turning him on as bondage often did.

"Careful," The Dom warned, putting a hand on his hip. "I suggest you stay still or risk an injury."

Kau'i smiled nervously, hoping that was a joke. He buried down the nerves, this was a scene and the Dom was just trying to put him off guard, test his submission. Kau'i realised he'd put himself in the hands of a stranger, into this predicament and turn on as it was, it wasn't his wisest decision. The Dom stood back and looked him over with an appreciative eye.

"There now, I have you right where I want you," He said, beginning to walk in a circle around him, like a predator with it's prey. "You're a very good looking boy. Perfect body. I've watched you this evening, working the crowd, flirting with many Dominants. Practically throwing yourself at them, which makes me think you're nothing more than a slut."

A fair enough assumption considering his behaviour Kau'i had to admit. Not that it was his usual style, he wasn't usually so eager.

"Do you agree?" The Dom asked and Kau'i felt his cheeks heat a little. He couldn't deny it.

"Yes Sir," He replied, a little shamed.

"Well I don't mind sluts, especially if they know what they are," The Dom assured him. "I think this is going to be particularly gratifying by the end."

He pulled on a pair of gloves he produced from his pocket, black leather, the dim light shining on their surface. He stepped closer, running his palms over Kau'i's body and the cool smooth of them made his skin goose pimple in response.

"Oh yes boy I think we are going to enjoy one another," He promised and Kau'i didn't doubt it. One hand kneaded into his ass and he had to lock his knees to stay steady and not rock in his bondage. The other hand grabbed onto his cock a little painfully and gave a tug.

"But first," The Dom said, hand pulling at his cock and making him gasp. "Slut boy is going to pay for his bad behaviour, throwing himself at every Dom like a toy to be played with."

"Fuck," Kau'i gasped, wincing and closing his eyes as the Dom's hand travelled further under and grabbed his balls, pulling down hard and tight.

"What does the boy say for his bad behaviour tonight?" The Dom asked him.

"Sorry," Kau'i stuttered out, feeling his arms pull sharply and making him gasp again.

"Excuse me, didn't quite hear you boy?" The Dom insisted, giving his ass a sharp slap. The pain tingled over his skin.

"I'm sorry Sir," Kau'i said, grunting.

The Dom rolled his balls in his hands and rubbed his ass a moment.

"Let's try again," He growled and Kau'i winced again, trying to get his head around what was happening. Fingers gripped around his balls tight again, pulling and he rocked and bucked in response, feeling his shoulders take the strain. Tears pricked his eyes from the jolt of pain and he gasped out in alarm. "Repeat after me, let's see if you can't learn correctly. I apologise Sir for my behaviour even though I'm nothing but a dirty desperate slut boy."

Kau'i grunted and gasped again, mind reeling, his shoulders pulled again and the Dom pulled at his balls hard, making him yelp.

"I apologise Sir," He gasped out, pausing and swallowing down. "For my behaviour even though I'm nothing but a dirty desperate slut boy."

A hard slap was applied to his ass and he squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn't meant to have been like this. The man had wanted to play, not torture him. Pain wasn't something that turned him on or took him into his headspace without justification or reason.

"Again," The Dom demanded. Kau'i moaned and tried to steady himself, rocking and bucking though there was no escape. When he didn't reply another slap, harder this time made him cry out.

"Stop," He whispered under his breath, needing a moment. "Enough."

"I've only just begun," The Dom warned, spanking him once more. "Again boy."

"Please," Kau'i said, trying to focus. This wasn't what he'd been expecting. But then, they hadn't had a slow start. They'd both rushed into this. "I need-."

"I said - ," The Dom began, voice rising but it was nothing compared to the yell interrupting the both of them.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Rick said from the doorway. Kau'i sagged in relief as the Dom turned in surprise at the interruption.

"Richard. We're in the middle of playing," The Dom replied calmly.

"Didn't sound like that to me Luca," Rick said walking into the room.

"He wanted to play," Luca pointed out. "He told me his safeword and has yet to state it. Don't give me that look Richard, you know I play by the rules."

"Kau'i, are you happy to continue?" Rick asked, ignoring the other man, cupping Kau'i's face in his and making him focus on him.

Kau'i felt a wave of shame, unable to keep his eyes on his and even worse the Dominant behind him.

"No Sir."

"Shit," Luca said behind them both, sounding panicked. "Rick I didn't – you know if he'd said his safeword-."

"I know," Rick said over his shoulder. "He's out of his depth and you didn't know. A bit of fun that could have ended badly. Help me untie him."

"I'm sorry," Kau'i said feeling stupid.

"Jesus kid, you realise how dangerous this could have gotten," Luca growled angrily at him. "You should have said something."

Luca took off the spreader bar as Rick untied his hands. Kau'i sheepishly stood before them, unable to meet their eyes.

"I apologise," He said again.

"Thankfully no harm done," Luca said sounding irritated but apologetic. "Watch yourself boy, don't play if you aren't prepared to deal with the situation. I'm sorry Richard, things got a little out of hand, I'll be more careful next time. I've seen him here and at the clubs a couple of times, I thought he was more experienced."

"He is experienced Luca, this just got a little out of control. Can you leave us alone please? I'd like a private word."

"Yeah sure. I'm sorry Kau'i."

Kau'i was surprised by the apology and gave a nod of acceptance before the man left, leaving him to deal with Rick's wrath.

"Get dressed," Rick demanded, turning away from him to give him some dignity.

Kau'i quickly went to the corner where he'd stashed his clothes and put them on, aware of the growing tension coming from Rick's side of the room.

"I'm sorry Rick," He said eventually. "I got in over my head."

Rick didn't reply and Kau'i turned to see him staring at him. A thrum of anger burst through him, Rick could be angry all he liked but he had no right to judge him.

"What? No lecture?" He asked snidely. "No word of wisdom from the grand Master Dom?"

"Don't you fucking dare turn this on me," Rick said, a dark tone to his words but he didn't raise his voice. "You got in over your head? Do you realise what could have happened Kau? Do you realise what he could have done if I hadn't been doing a round to check on things up here."

"I'd have said my safeword," Kau'i said lamely, even though he knew he'd been ready to say it long before Rick had halted the scene. He'd begun to panic as soon as Luca had tied him up and threatened pain. But he hadn't said anything when he should have. "He wasn't to know."

"No he wasn't, which puts this all on you," Rick snapped, walking across the room, closing the gap between them. "You are the submissive. You have control. Don't you understand that? That safeword, the safety elements put in place, they are to protect both of you. And you control that, you. How many Dominants do you know that tell you their safeword before playing?"

"I," Kau'i said weakly, giving a shrug. "I don't-."

"That's because they don't fucking have them," Rick said angrily. "I thought you were smarter than this. I thought you had potential. I thought you knew what you were doing, what you wanted. I realise now how wrong I was."

"You know what, fuck you Rick. You don't own me, you've made it perfectly clear you don't want anything to do with me and that I'm never going to be good enough for you. Well maybe I'll be good enough for someone else and yeah, I've got a lot to learn and I will, from someone who actually cares. I know that isn't you, I wish it was but I know it's a blind need. But don't judge me on this mistake, I'm not fucking perfect."

"No you aren't," Rick said with a shake of his head, looking at him sadly.

Kau'i hadn't felt so rejected or put down. His eyes stung with tears again and he looked away before Rick could see how hurtful that felt to hear from him. It had been a mistake to convince himself that he was over Rick.

"I'm sorry I don't reach whatever high expectations you have," He said quietly. "I've gotta be good for someone right? Someone who expects much much less from me."

He moved to brush past him, vowing to leave the place and never return. Maybe he'd see Rick at the clubs but they were done, things were over and the thought of seeing him again when he thought so low of him cut him deep. He'd never be good enough for someone like Richard Steadman and it was time to stop thinking that he had a chance. Rick stopped him with a hand on his arm, grip tight and when he went to push him off Rick grabbed his other hand in a tight hold too.

"Let me leave Rick," Kau'i said with a shake of his head. "Please."

"Jesus, do you ever stop and listen Kau?" Rick said, giving him a soft shake but not letting go of him. "When have I ever said you weren't good enough?"

"You've made it clear I'm not good enough for you," Kau'i said, hoping the emotions he was feeling didn't make his voice shaky. "Let me go."

Rick shook his head, pushing at him until he was pressed up against the wall, bombarding his space, pinning both his arms to the wall now.

"Not until you listen to what I have to say," Rick growled. "Properly."

Kau'i didn't struggle, sagging against the wall, the feel of Rick's hands pinning him down doing nothing but make him feel safe, not attacked. Rick looked at him, eyes roving over his face then down his body before he took in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, I was angry and I shouldn't have said what I said about you not knowing what you are doing. In this case yes, you got in over your head. I'm angry because I know how easily things can get out of hand and it scares me what could have happened to you. Maybe under different circumstances you wouldn't have let it go that far," Rick paused and looked him in the eye. "You're wrong when you say you aren't good enough. Yes I have high expectations, but I've never doubted your potential to reach them. You're good enough for anybody, but there aren't enough Dominant's out there that deserve you in my opinion."

Kau'i felt tears emerging again and shit he needed to clamp down on his emotions. Rick was saying words he'd never expected to hear from him and he couldn't help the way his body reacted. He closed his eyes and looked away.

"There's only one Dominant and person I want right now," He admitted quietly, feeling Rick let his grip loosen a little. He felt him pull away and opened his eyes to see Rick looking scared, shaking his head sadly.

"I can't be what you need me to be Kau'i. That's the only reason I've pushed you away. When you started hinting at the idea – I can't let things between us become personal," Rick replied, voice wavering. "I'm sorry that makes you feel rejected."

"But you are rejecting me Rick. How else am I supposed to feel?" Kau asked, Rick had let go of him but he reached out and clung to him now. "Please. Why are you fighting it if it's what feels right for both of us."

"I said you weren't perfect," Rick told him. "None of us are Kau and I'm even less so. But you're a good man, a good person and I don't want to destroy that."

"You won't," Kau'i said, pulling him close when Rick tried to reel away. "Please Rick. Please."

"Shit baby," Rick said, putting his hands on Kau'i's chest, fingers gripping into the material of his shirt. "If you understood why I'm so scared about us, you'd understand why we can't have this."

Kau'i's hands framed his face and Rick couldn't deny how good it felt, Kau'i's touch and closeness chased away the doubts and fears he had. But he was frightened of his own capabilities.

"You think I'm not scared?" Kau asked him. "You're an intimidating person Richard. But seeing you like this – I want to know who fucked you up and I want to help put the pieces back together."

"They didn't fuck me up, I fucked them up," Rick said sadly with a shake of his head. "I messed up once and I can't go through it again."

"And you learn from your mistakes," Kau'i told him firmly. "If I quit every time I lost a case, I'd have stopped being a lawyer years ago. Are you telling me you've written off having happiness in your life because of one failed relationship?"

"You don't know the circumstances," Rick reminded him.

"Then explain it to me," Kau'i insisted gently. "If not now, then someday soon. Let me take you out, no roles, no play rooms. One date, just us, please. If, after you tell me, I don't want to stick around or you really feel we aren't worth a chance, then we both walk away. Please Richard, I'm just asking for once chance. You owe it to yourself."

Rick knew he shouldn't, but he nodded in agreement, kissing Kau'i back when he pressed forward for a kiss to confirm the request.

One date and then it would all be over.

Fic: Bond (Chapter 2 - Rick/Kau'i, NC17, Dom/sub verse)

heffermonkey — Mon, 12 Jan 2015 13:12:17 GMT

"That's weird," John said with a frown, walking into the study. "Kau'i just called me. He wants to cancel his sessions."

"What, next weeks?" Rick asked, looking up at him.

"No, all of them, he'd booked up until the end of the month," John shook his head. "I thought you two were making progress."

"We are, he was," Rick nodded. He glanced away, concentrating on his laptop to avoid John's discerning eye. "Perhaps he's met someone. I did advise him to look."

"Why on earth would you do that?" John asked in surprise, sitting in the chair opposite him across the desk.

"Like I've said, he was making progress. He deserves to find a Dominant to develop his submission further on a more personal level," Rick pointed out.

"I thought he was doing that already," John said and Rick didn't miss the implication in his tone.

He sighed and looked over at him. They'd worked together long enough to read each other and John knew all of his secrets and personal hang ups.

"You know I can't allow things to cross the professional line," He informed him.

"Not even for someone who you have feelings for?" John asked in exasperation, leaning forward. "Jesus Rick, how long are you going to let David keep you from having happiness in your life again?"

Rick shook his head with a grimace, heart clenching tight at the name. "Don't John, this isn't about David."

"It's everything to do with David. It's been years now Rick, you've shut yourself off from the idea of love and being loved so long that when it's staring you in the face, you'd rather turn away than risk it. David fucked you over, doesn't mean you let him trample over your love life for the rest of your life."

"It's not, it isn't-," Rick said sitting back. "Kau'i deserves better, he deserves more than I can give him."

"Rick, ever since that man has met you there's been something there. An attraction, a chemistry, call it what you will. When Kau‘i comes to parties, he can't keep his eyes off you. You say after every session he improves, he pushes himself, he's eager to learn and grow. That's because of you. You telling him to find someone else – no wonder he's cancelled his sessions. Do you realise how hard that must be for him to hear? It's a rejection, from someone he deeply cares about and wants to connect with."

"I know it's hard," Rick snapped, hands gripping tightly onto the arms of his chair. "Do you think I don't know how hard it is? I've allowed things get personal and I've let him think that was okay. Well it isn't. He pays me for a service, that is all. It would be unprofessional to let him think things will would go beyond that, it would be a lie. It's better this way, cutting it off now before it gets too messy."

"Fuck Rick look at you," John said calmly. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

"He's just a kid John," Rick replied lamely. He knew it was a weak excuse.

"He's thirty one and old enough to know what he wants," John pointed out. "About time you grew up and decided what you want. Do you really think living alone, in misery, cutting yourself off from the care and devotion of another person is how you want to live the rest of your life?"

"He deserves better," Rick said, swallowing down. It was true. Eventually he'd go too far and he wouldn't mess Kau'i up like he had David. Kau'i was too precious to destroy.

"Richard," John said gently, waiting until he looked him in the eye. "He deserves you. Don't let what happened with David rob you of this opportunity. More importantly you deserve him. He's a good man, has good qualities, he's successful, independent. All he wants is a chance and you owe it to him and yourself to give that to him. Not even as a Dom and sub, but as two people."

"I wish I had your optimism John, I really do," Rick shook his head. He wanted to believe what John said was true but he couldn't. He'd already resigned himself to that fact that it was better this way.

BBC Musketeers

heffermonkey — Sat, 10 Jan 2015 23:25:38 GMT

I should have something coherent to say uppn second viewing, but my only thoughts post episode are caught up with the moment d'Artagnan slid the neck scarf right off Athos's neck, at which point my brain dissolved into goo.

I so need graphics and GIF of that singularly epic moment.

Fic - Bond (Rick/Kau'i, NC17)

heffermonkey — Sat, 10 Jan 2015 12:34:35 GMT

Bond
Noun - something that binds, fastens, or holds together

~

Rick checked his watch, if only to avoid Kau'i's unnerving gaze.

"Times up," He said hurriedly, aware of the nervous tension suddenly invading his body. Things were getting personal, which went against everything he stood for as a proffessional. This was work, he couldn't get emotionally involved, no matter the situation. "You can get dressed now."

"Yes Sir," Kau'i said from behind him. Rick kept himself busy beginning to tidy up some of the toys and equipment they'd used, listening as Kau'i quietly dressed in the far corner.

"How'd I do today?" Kau'i asked, just as the silence was becoming deafening.

Rick gave himself a mental shake. It wasn't like him to be so tense and withdrawn. It was essential they talked about the scene, as important as everything else. Kau'i was looking for feedback and guidance.

"You're learning," Rick said, turning around to him, sucking up his pride. He wasn't going to let Kau'i get under his skin. He wasn't. "You've been practising the positions I've shown you?"

"Yes," Kau'i nodded.

"I can tell," Rick smiled approvingly.

"Practice makes perfect right?" Kau'i said with a shrug, fastening the buttons of his shirt.

"You're lines are good," Rick said, putting down the length of bondage rope he was holding. "I want you to concentrate on your focus. Your reactions were slow at times today, you get caught up in the moment, begin to focus inward when things get intense. You need to focus outward, on the Dominant if you want to really connect with them. It will take time, but you're a fast learner Kau'i, that's a good thing and we can re-enforce the training with some disciplines to help you further."

"Okay, thanks," Kau'i said, smoothing down his shirt and reaching for his jacket. "So um, same time next week?"

"I think John's made the appointment, but double check with him," Rick agreed. Kau'i was gazing at him with a confused look and he turned away, busying himself by rolling the bondage rope up carefully.

"Right, I will thanks," Kau'i said after a long pause.

Rick set the rope in a basket with other rolls and moved over to the door, unlocking it and grasping the handle.

"John left early today. I'll see you out," He said, glancing back at Kau'i. Kau'i gave a small nod and crossed the room, hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. As he neared him, he looked him straight in the eye. Rick blinked in surprise but held his cool well enough.

"Have I-," Kau'i began, stopping before he got too close. Arms length away, not invading his space, remaining respectful. "Did I do something wrong?"

Rick felt his heart beat harder in his chest, the way Kau'i looked at him, a line had been crossed. He knew Kau'i liked him, in a way that crossed the boundaries of proffessional and client and he hadn't done enough to halt it before feelings developed. Kau'i came to him for guidance and training, but there was something else too, a hopefulness for more.

"No, you were good today, everything is fine," Rick reminded him, but he knew Kau'i wasn't referring to their session.
.
"It's just you seem, distant," Kau'i pointed out. "Dissappointed."

'Only in myself', Rick thought. He gave a shake of his head, knowing he should do more to assure Kau'i as well as prevent feelings developing further. "No, I'm neither of those things. I'd tell you if there was something that needed to -."

Rick stuttered off, because it was all a lie. He'd been going to say 'drastically change', when in fact there was something wrong. Something he needed to put a halt to before they got in too deep. It wasn't fair to Kau'i to let him think things were developing between them when that couldn't happen.

Kau'i was watching him expectantly and Rick gave a shake of his head, pulling the door open further.

"It was a good session today Kau, as I've said already, you're improving," He said instead, stepping out into the hall and heading for the stairs. "You know I think you should start actively looking for a Dominant, someone you can practice and develop long term with. You need that constant in your life if you want to explore this side of yourself further and you owe it to yourself to be in a relationship with a like minded person who wants to be that emotionally involved. Coming to me for sessions is okay, but it isn't ideal for what you obviously want in your life. Our sessions, it isn’t the same thing as a relationship.“

Kau'i didn't reply and when they reached the foot of the stairs, he brushed past him stiffly. Rick knew it was a low blow, but it was the only way he could think of to stave off any thoughts Kau'i was having of their relationship deepening.

"Thank you," Kau'i said as Rick opened the front door to let him out.

"Think about what I said," Rick said, burying the feelings the hurt look in Kau'i face incurred.

"Yeah, I will," Kau'i said stiffly. "Bye."

"Goodbye Kau."

~ tbc ~

3 x New H50 Fics Various Ratings

heffermonkey — Sun, 30 Nov 2014 18:11:47 GMT

Title - Family Photos
Rating - PG
Fandom - Hawaii 5-0
Characters - Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams
Summary - Danny finds some old photos that reveal a McGarrett family Christmas Tradition
A/N - Written for the Hurt Me/Heal Me prompt 'Forgotten Traditions'

read @ A03 :D

~

Title – It’s 3am and I’m not Tired

Rating – NC17

Characters – Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams

Summary – Steve arrives home early morning after two months and sleeping is the last thing on their minds.

A/N – Written in response to the Sated Sunday prompt – Screw it, let's GO! We'll pay for this later...

Read at @ A03

~

Title - Crimson Tail: Ask and it Shall be Given
Rating - NC17
Characters - Steve McGarrett/Danny Williams
Summary - It's been a while, but Danny is in need of something from Steve, but asking for it is difficult.
A/N - A follow on to the fic 'Crimson Tail'
Warnings - Spanking, 'Daddy' kink.

Read @ A03

H50 - 1ooth Episode

heffermonkey — Sat, 08 Nov 2014 18:58:57 GMT

I don't usually write reviews of episodes these days, but there is only one coherent thought in my brain for what I have just watched

I've watched a fair few shows, and a fair few 100th episodes, and I have to say this is possibly one of the best I've ever seen, a great take on the 'What If' scenario, I laughed out loud so many times I lost count, which helped lift the very angsty, gritty, darker moments. Perfect. Just perfect.

heffermonkey — Mon, 20 Oct 2014 15:26:05 GMT

Giving a shout out to ladydragon76 who very kindly messaged me recently to say some of my fics had been reposted on another persons blog, unbeknownst to me. Apparently this person finds it quite normal to steal peoples creativity and re-post it wihout thought to the original author. This has happened to quite a few people, so I'm posting a link to ladydragon76 's post explaining all and how to either remove your posts from this persons site or (if you've so far survived the thefts) at least protect yourself from this persons clutches. The post is very helpful and informative.

Find it HERE