Hane Shinohara

hane — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 23:36:30 GMT

I'm late to the game, obviously, but I have just now seen the third episode of the new BBC Sherlock Holmes series and it is everything I could have wanted, or quite nearly.

I want your fic recs. I know they're out there.

GIMME

hane — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:13:26 GMT

I feel awful today and all I want to do is cry.

Is it too much to ask for just one thing that I don't have to make excuses for? That I don't have to go into a long explanation, or say 'I know what this sounds like, BUT.'

It's exactly what it sounds like. I just don't want it to be.

hane — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 15:49:12 GMT

So orientation happened, which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I'm really excited to be working in an atmosphere where the other employees are more likely to, I don't know. Share some of my general ideals about life? A bookstore should be staffed by people who like to read and learn new things, as opposed to a department store which can be staffed by whoever. I was a little proud to think that I'd be able to say I was employed by this company, because it's a company with good standing and seems well thought of by its customers, of which I am one.

Then that feeling was ruined with the knowledge that the other people being hired were there to become booksellers. I was there to pour coffee. The lady that hired me had talked about having me do more than one thing, but I think now that might have just been lipservice, because all employees have to train in all sections of the store, so while I could be called upon to sell books, I'm there to pour coffee.

And I doubt the other people are going to be called upon to pour coffee.

I don't have a particular issue with pouring coffee, but it seemed like a lot of the very exciting and interesting training stuff mentioned in the manual would not apply to me. Opportunities for advancement? Only if you're there to sell books! Encouraging everyone to read the new releases? Well sure you can, but that's going to be more useful for booksellers.

Then one of the girls that walked into the breakroom mentioned that she's a published author of four books and I felt like killing myself. She's probably younger than I am.

I can console myself that she said she writes YA fiction, which to me is published fanfic. There can be exceptionally good fanfic and exceptionally good YA fiction, but in general, YA books make me feel like I've read a fanfic of a really good series that has a lot more canon somewhere that I can't access.

Fortunately I didn't say any bullshit about being a writer myself. Everyone is an aspiring writer these days, with just as many (zero) completed works to their name and god knows what chance of ever being published.

Anyway I think I'm just a little butthurt because I'm going to be working in a place that I think is very cool, because I'm very passionate and excited about books, but I am not passionate about coffee, and coffee is what I'm going to be doing instead of books.

But maybe that's not true, maybe I'll decide it doesn't matter because jobs are jobs and even awesome sounding jobs come with their own 'stop having fun, we're here to make money' things. People who love movies don't have to be excited to work at a movie theater or a rental place, because those jobs involve a lot that is not ...you know, movies. It's about pushing product and advertising and sales promotions. Maybe I'll realize that selling books can just as tedious as renting movies. The cashier part is the same thing.

Maybe it's more that I still don't have a career relating to what I went to college for, and this could've maybe been a step towards that career, but I'm there to pour coffee part-time. Maybe it's okay anyway, because it's still going to put me in contact with a lot of books, and maybe my raging jealousy will push me to waste less time on roleplay and invest more time in writing something of my own. I do think it's a good idea to read the competition, after all.

This will probably be a really good opportunity for me either way.

hane — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 21:34:06 GMT

You know what hobby I would like to get into? Collecting or just going back and reading oldschool sci-fi, like the books that were written in the 50s, 60s, 70s, etc. Aside from LOL YOU GUYS THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE SCANTILY CLAD HUMANOID WOMEN ON MARS, it'd be fascinating to see what "ancient" ideas about technology were. Or about alien life, or women, or artificial intelligence, or colonization.

Man I should have done that for my senior project.

hane — Fri, 31 Dec 2010 16:53:16 GMT

I am okay with everything right now, even being without internet over the weekend as we're going back to the farmhouse to spend New Years with my dad's mom.

I have lunch from Panda Express at 10 am, and a half day of work with zero phone calls, and my old ipod mini magically works again. On Thursday I leave for a real vacation over the next weekend, which will make up for all the hair pulling ridiculousness that has otherwise been this holiday.

ALSO I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING FURNITURE SHOPPING obviously this means I am one foot in the grave ancient and there's no help for me.

hane — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 16:19:44 GMT

In response to the I Surrender meme from incandescens at http://incandescens.livejournal.com/921850.html:

A boarding school for time travellers. :)

Hoo boy.

Tempus Fugit

In the not too far off future, scientists have finally, FINALLY achieved time travel, but it remains out of reach to everyone except the outrageously rich due to the expense, and has since been turned into an ultimate leisure activity: the chance to go back in time and watch yourself in youth, undetected, or perhaps to visit a time period you've always wanted to see in person with the safety and comfort of a professional 'time tour guide.' For those who prefer to leave the kids at home during these delicate and sometimes dangerous expeditions, the Tempus Fugit Time Travel Agency offers an all inclusive package catered to youngsters: boarding school with private tutors and *real* history lessons in the form of short term jumps.

But when you mix bored rich kids, politics, professional adventurers and time travel, nothing ever turns out like what the brochures advertise...

I honestly don't watch a lot of TV, so I'm at a loss for casting TV actors. We'll pretend the casting director is really awesome and fills out these characters really awesomely.

Cast:
The Guy: a 20 something "college student" impersonating a politician's son, actually a drop out from the time guide training program who is trying to investigate the circumstances of his father's suspicious death. A driven and closed-off hero who doesn't dare get close to anyone in the school. He probably monologues a lot, ala Dexter.

The Girl: another 20 something unhappy with her new celebrity life, due to her mother's recent re-marriage to Mr. Rich Guy. Family history with the scientists who discovered time travel, her birth father also died suspiciously.

The Other Girl: a mysterious girl who may or may not be someone from a previous time period, living undetected (or not so undetected) among the other students. Seems to be looking for someone. Very standoffish and Tough Girl.

The Other Boy: MIGHT ACTUALLY CONTROL TIME. Might also be the key to how the time travel machinery works, and therefore a valuable and closely guarded secret of the Agency. Possibly played by Jonathon Rhys Meyers.

The Guide: a former time guide/adventurer type now employed as a slightly disgruntled history teacher for the Agency, spending his time shepherding little brats through half hour time jumps to boring and safe historical events, like the signing of such and such document being done in that building over there. Occasionally claims to be from the future. Occasionally a jackass, but with a decent heart, and MIGHT actually be a deserter soldier from said future where wars are fought over control of time. Played by Nathan Fillion, bitches.

The History Professor: a young and brilliant graduate of some top line college, trying her damndest to get involved in real time travel in order to prove some of her more controversial papers. Probably gorgeous when she tries, probably the Guide's love interest.

The Board: the men and women in charge of the Agency and the boarding school, who play politics and indulge in corporate espionage against rival companies that want the time technology for themselves. Some are teachers in the school, some are never more than shadowy figures giving orders. At least one is totally a spy.

The Watchman: the Board's guard dog. May have the ability to naturally manipulate time, just like The Other Boy. May also be a soldier from the future.

Other People: a colorful cast of bored rich kids and celebrity starlets, or children of celebrities, and probably some famous historical figures.

Series Notes:
Episodes would probably revolve around AND TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO VISIT SUCH AND SUCH HISTORICAL EVENT, with various hijinks and small mysteries, with a larger arc of how the time travel technology was discovered. Probably ends up with some sci fi plot of the original "time machine" actually being a living person with the power to manipulate time, possibly a refugee from a war torn future where such abilities are prized as weapons. There'd be some paradoxes to wrestle with over whether Tempus Fugit actually caused the future war with their discovery, or if war existed independently of Tempus Fugit. There would also be cases of people involved with the technology choosing to lose themselves in time, deciding to live their lives with new families in some time period. The Other Girl is probably a child from one of these situations.

WHY DOES THIS SOUND SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE DOLLHOUSE.

hane — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 18:26:05 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, starlit_dragon!!!

I owe you fic. :c

"I Surrender!" meme

hane — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 17:23:02 GMT

THE MEME
1. Comment to this post with "I surrender!" and I'll assign you the basis of some TV show idea. (Science fiction show, medical drama, criminal procedure, etc...)
2. Create a cast of characters, including the actors who'd play them
3. Add in any actor photos, character bios and show synopsis that you want.
4. Post to your own journal.

It's an example! Also one more clever than I'm going to come up with.

hane — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 17:14:58 GMT

Back from Portland now.

THINGS WE DID:
- played through Halo Reach BAWWWW
- played Dead Space
- played Dead Space with ~~epic~~ hideous internet sound effects
- played Fable 2 and 3
- met Anarin! Who is amaze and scarily like Delta in her ability to rattle off facts about stuff I had no clue about
- met lots of people! all the people!
- watched Teeth
- watched Thankskilling, which might be the best horror movie about CURSED TURKEYS ever.
- watched Xena
- went shopping in downtown Portland
- saw the tree lighting ceremony
- HAD DELISHUS JAPANESE FOODS
- went to a sushi place with a CONVEYOR BELT, SO COOL I CAN'T EVEN
- went to Cheesecake Factory, which is in fact NOT a factory where they make cheesecake
- made chocolate and cheese fondue (not at the same time)
- didn't screw up cooking the turkey, even if we forgot a baster and a thermometer
- had mini christmas aslkjfsafjs
- moved a futon frame
- got lost in hideous labyrinth of apartment complexes
- dishes e.e
- PLAYED WITH KITTY
- slept next to girlfriend every night, which might actually have been the best part of the trip
- bought all the things
- went grocery shopping with girlfriend! This sounds retarded but I really enjoyed it. I want to always go grocery shopping with her and do Real Couple things.
- ate so much chocolate I don't even
- fulfilled sitcom tropes about roommates and couches
- UNSC HOODIE, YEAH
- got cockslapped. not kidding. (it's fake and squishy and we are all 12)
- took pictures of fake dong attached to hueg door poster of Carter. Poor Carter.
- took several showers!
- offended the travel gods, as they canceled Nie's flight home and broke all the light rail ticket machines and the check-in kiosk at the airport. And my suitcase zipper broke.

PICTURES LATER.

I am not pleased to be home, but at least I didn't come back to a huge disaster at work. It'll be fine in a few days and I'll be all caught up. :c I'm pretty jet-lagged atm though and feeling sick and exhausted.

I want to be back there so badly already. My gray empty house doesn't feel real yet.

hane — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 18:21:41 GMT

And this weekend, I learned how to go about buying a wedding dress. My friend is getting married (October of next year, actually), and we had thought that picking out a dress now might be a little rushed, but the salesgirl told us that 9-12 months before the wedding is necessary unless you want to buy a dress off the rack.

That shit is crazy.

The place we went to was very cute, actually, the company had bought four old Victorian houses downtown, two on one side of the street, two on the other, and redone some of the rooms so they were nice fitting rooms and open areas, etc. Some of the rooms were kept as actual Victorian rooms, though, with the vintage wallpaper and furniture, and they had jewelry and veils and other accessories on display in those smaller rooms. It was very, very cute, and I think I liked it better than a super fancy bridal place. Prices were much nicer than a super fancy bridal place, anyway.

We went on Saturday and that happened to be the last day of a sale, so the place was packed. Saw lots of twenty-somethings, a surprisingly low count of moms, a handful of girls who were pregnant, which made me wonder how the hell you fit the dress for that. Maybe their weddings were just as far out as my friend's, and they'll have had the babies by the time they need to wear the dress...

Fortunately we did not have to spend 29873490274902742748 hours there while my friend tried on dresses, as she had already gone to another place previously and narrowed down the kind of style she wanted. I'd have pictures but we forgot to ask what the designer's name was. Long story short, she picked her dress, got her veil and a hairpiece, and it was all very gorgeous. The decision had come down between two dresses and she picked the one I liked, which was the more comfortable dress.

Not gonna lie, it made me want to try on dresses too, but they didn't have any sample dresses in colors aside from white/ivory/champagne/whatever. I fully intend to offend my family and get a black dress, or a red one, or something that is not white. You know. Someday.

We still have to go and pick the bridesmaid dresses, which my friend is being wonderfully pragmatic about. Everyone is supposed to decide on a skirt length, but then we can choose whatever kind of top/neckline we want, and the dresses themselves are supposed to be black, and then we'll do some kind of accent color that matches her wedding colors (probably gold or some autumn leaf red) with a ribbon or something (my suggestion!). So at least it'll be a useful dress I could probably wear again. ~~Nevermind I'd already went and bought an expensive dress for the engagement party so I didn't actually save myself any freaking money, dammit.~~

I am still of the opinion that she needs a fur-lined white cape for the outdoor ceremony, because those are fucking adorable okay.

On Sunday we went to the stable as usual, and had a decent time, and then mom proceeded to ruin the mood by talking about how I'm supposed to hook up with ANYONE I CAN at the engagement party this Saturday. As long as they have a penis. And/or my friend's fiance's roommate, who I met for the first time on Saturday and never actually saw his face, because he was huddled in the darkest corner of the living room under a blanket, watching football, and never once looked away from the TV or spoke while I was being introduced. Or while I had to cross in front of him to get into another room.

I told her I'm wearing my favorite ring on the finger that says I'm married in order to avoid drunken idiots, and arguments ensued. Thanks, mom. I'm glad to know you endorse relationships that begin at functions where everyone is going to be fucking drunk, and where any single guys will only be looking to get some ass.

EDIT: Okay more bitching.

The arguments I have with my parents about dating are so cliche they're painful. They're also the sort of shit that teenagers hear. I drop hints to my mom that I'm dating someone new, a GIRL, and she asks me how my ex-boyfriend is doing.

I'm sorry but jfc I could be a better parent about this, and that's pretty fucking sad. Encouraging me to jump on the first available dick doesn't make me feel supported or encouraged, it makes me feel like I'm worthless and only as good as whatever guy I can get to fuck me. Explaining that I wasn't HAPPY with my ex-boyfriend has no impact. That isn't important. When I was dating him, I Had A Boyfriend and that's somehow more relevant than what the relationship was like.

She says she just wants me to happy. That's bullshit. She wants me to be conventional, because it's an embarrassment to her that I'm not. She says I'm running out of time and will soon be too old for anyone to be interested. Because apparently women lose all value once they hit 30. If you're not married or in a committed relationship by the time you're 30, you might as well be dead.

Stuff that is awesome

hane — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 16:36:12 GMT

There are themes this week. NOT MY FAULT.

- 109 Cats in Sweaters
- Badass Wedding photos
- LIGHTSABER WEDDING
- Batman ring
- Power Tools + Chastity Belt + Wedding ceremony
- Portland Couple gets married during a marathon
- Superheroes. This should happen at every wedding.
- Every dress on this page, especially...
- My friend is looking at this dress: http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=S5229
- Gorgeous red wedding dresses: here and here
- Gorgeous black and white wedding dresses: here and here
- Gorgeous wine purple wedding dress: http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?style=J926
- Goddamn you, TV Tropes
- Bitches owe Slender Man $20 for wifin' in da club
- But it's k, he's donating it to Haiti
- This is obviously the proper reaction when being hunted by Slender Man
- "Queen Force One." Thank you, KDWB, for the collection of useless facts I've learned on my morning commute.
- Rainbow Cherry Jello Jigglers
- Harry Potter bento
- Hyperbole and a Half: This is Why I'll Never Be An Adult
- Oglaf: Terribly Decent of You. NSFW
- Hark a Vagrant: Fat Pony comics
- Vacation spots like this.
- Teacup cupcakes.
- Pumpkin spice cake
- what are these cupcakes I don't even
- PINK CUPCAKES OMG
- Trigun DVD series finally being released
- HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON AFLJSFLAJ I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF THIS MOVIE
- Tainted Donuts, possibly the best Trigun vs Cowboy Bebop AMV EVER
- Cowboy Bebop OST: Call Me Call Me
- Most Epic Song Ever. Preliator by Globus.
- Yukikaze AMV, I Can't Be Cool by Yoko Kanno

But the top of the list today? C: Sean from New York. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Stuff that is awesome this week

hane — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 15:05:59 GMT

Sorry if you've seen this already, I was screwing around with forward dating the post but I never saw it on my flist. From sorceressakemi, this is a list of stuff that is awesome, because everyone should take five minutes out of their day once a week and remember only the good things.

- .hack//Link partner attacks, compilation one and compilation two SPOILERS in the second link.
- Kite's new outfit for .hack//Link
- this .hack//GU Trilogy AMV (Beautiful World by Hikaru Utada)
- new Naruto opening
- James McAvoy in Becoming Jane
- Children of Dune theme song Inama Nushif
- this tea set from Teavana
- honey mead + sparkling peach juice
- Halloween mafia costumes. *steals for Fruhling cosplay*
- Tazo Vanilla Rooibos tea latte concentrate
- stained glass candles
- TINY OWL WEARING A TINY HAT
- my horse's grandsire, Sonny Dee Bar
- this lovely tobiano paint horse
- these paintings
- MY STUPID KITTIES
- How To Train Your Dragon DVD release
- this sexy amv set to Ky's theme
- DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE DIPPED STRAWBERRIES. The Halloween themed ones are adorable, and so are these tuxedo strawberries.

hane — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 02:16:51 GMT

Reposted from permetaform:
influencethis:
"Dudes who happen to be nice are just nice regardless of sexual attraction to someone.

Nice Guys expect life to be like a video game where you get the "We're gonna bang" achievement with any given lady for doing 1000 acts of niceness to her."

That is exactly how Nice Guys work.

Also reposted from sorceressakemi: 101 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up, part one and part two.

Akemi does weekly round-ups of things she's found during that week that are awesome, some links, some just descriptions. This is an excellent idea and everyone should do it.

hane — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:31:47 GMT

Called in someone's suicide threat today.

Not a life skill I wanted to check off the list.

hane — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 14:28:48 GMT

Today I am going to be so productive. I am going to do all the things.

- Email A.W. about work
- make a registration list
- Ask Scott to bring delivery relevant files from other offices
- Go through delivery backlog
- Go through log book backlog
- clean up office
- go through ALL FILES for forms, intake data, registration
- credit card paper

~~- That Thing That Is Missing~~
- Background write-up
- Event write-up
- package for california
- sewing repair
- seamstress
- talk to Xel????
- Trail of Terror

hane — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 17:44:53 GMT

Car rides are insulating. Controlled temperatures and cushioned chairs, music that can be made soft or loud. Conversation by another occupant that can be tuned out.

Too much direct sunlight makes the interior warm. The trees are turning, their leaves forced into brilliant color by the cold, and the surface of the rivers are shingled with whitecaps, but you don't comprehend it until you're out of the safe, enclosed environment.

The driveway is long, gravel, and filled with ruts. There is an unspoken rule that all rural roads leading to farms and ranches should be thus. There is a speed limit posted on the front gate. To go over ten miles an hour is to invite a broken windshield and also threatens the resident dogs that often come loping out to investigate an incoming car, and the loose gravel at the initial turn off is treacherous. The cars here don't slow down, and would rather risk illegal passing than accommodate the time it takes to properly take the turn onto the gravel driveway.

A line of tall green pines obscures the large arena building and the other smaller buildings and farm equipment to the right of the driveway. The road takes you between two fields, partially fenced, one decorated with jumping obstacles, thick downed logs or plastic poles, and a blue barrel. To the far right, the former outdoor arena retains its white fence, but the sand inside has been allowed to turn to grass. This arena used to hold barrels and poles for gaming, or jumping obstacles, and at the far end is an open shelter and several small paddock areas that had held calves and cattle for team-penning, roping, and herding. Now the arena is a pasture with only one occupant, the resident stud stallion, who lifts his head behind the fence to watch the movement of the car. He is large, buckskin, and amiable. The approach of a vehicle is nothing to him, when the edge of his pasture/paddock lies only meters from the highway, and he soon returns to grazing.

The parking area would be the grass in front of the main barn, but it's an area that often floods and has become mostly hard-packed, pebble strewn sand when it is not sucking mud. Greenery gains a foothold there, is flooded out, and slowly creeps back. In the winter, this sandy area becomes layer upon layer of sheet ice as the snowdrifts nearer the barn melt, flow a little distance, and then re-freeze during the night as flat, thick panes of ice.

The barn is metal, and no longer new. There are gardens around it, lined by thick square cut timbers. A faded green plastic picnic table is moved around in the grass before the barn, sometimes used for seating people and holding beers during conversation, sometimes used to pile tractor parts on, sometimes used as a mounting block. An old washing machine stands next to the front door, white slowly giving way to rust, filled full with flowers in the spring and summer. Now its plants are wilting and pumpkins have been arranged in front of it, along with brown and yellow corn. The "end" of the barn is now an apartment and there are red-pink cobblestones laid before the front door. A dog bed lined with old blankets sits there, along with buckets, water dishes for cats and dogs, mudscraper rugs, a large chunk of brain coral. Another small garden area forms a perimeter around this corner of the barn, with wooden latticework for tomatoes to climb.

The first thing noticed upon stepping out of the car, of course, is the shock of the air. The chill is a slap in the face after all that warm insulation, and the first breath sucks all of the previous warmth out of you as your lungs fill with cold air. It's an unapologetic cold, and some part of the human hindbrain recognizes that "it is this cold now and it will only get colder." It's a permanent sort of feeling, as it ought to be, heralding winter and the frosts. Fall is the best time of year in this country for the sunshine and the cool air, but this is not a lazy fall day. This is a day that feels like winter already, when the wind blows, even though it's not cold enough for breath to steam yet. The sky is cloudless and blue and the sunshine feels very thin. The air seems thin, as though you were standing in the mountains and that much closer to the sky, and the sliver of crescent moon over the row of pine trees looks reachable. Without any hint of cloud, one can imagine there is no atmosphere between the cold ground and cold space.

The second thing to impress itself on the senses is scent. I'm sure most people don't stop to notice whether the particular patch of earth they're standing on has a scent, unless perhaps they're standing in a garden, but there is a particular scent about forests that, presumably, could tell a person what region of the country he or she had found themselves in, from the smell of the trees there. It's a dry smell, anyway, and must be what harvested fields and cold, plowed sand smell like, because that is what it is. The woods are far back enough to have another scent once you're inside them. Poplar leaves have a distinct scent and they cover the ground under the trees.

Patches of the thin, mowed grass are already brown and crackling underfoot. The nearby gardens, much larger than the decorative perimeter ones and containing sunflowers, corn rows, pumpkin, squash, beans and many other of vegetables, are brown or wilting, and much of their harvest has already been picked. Loose dirt marks where plants have been uprooted. The sunflower stalks are brown and the flowers droop. A woodpecker clings determinedly to the face of a large flower, hanging upside down and picking out seeds with his beak. A few pale yellow butterflies, the kind that swarm the warm roads in summer, still flutter across the grass and chase each other in the weak sunlight. It seems too late in the year for them to be mating. Perhaps butterflies chase each other for amusement, just like dogs and children.

Part of the garden extends nearly to the sandy, trampled pasture, fenced in by metal, wood, and the newly re-activated electric fence. Only stubborn weeds grow close to the gate due to the high volume of traffic of humans, vehicles, and horses. There are a few rotten vegetables thrown out to the sand for the horses to trample or nibble if they choose, squash, a few green tomatoes, a small smashed pumpkin, bits and pieces of brittle corn stalk.

Most of all, it's very quiet. Even with the highway nearby and a small housing development across it, the most prominent sound is wind in the trees and rattling the dry plants. Footsteps crunch loudly in sand and brown grass. The herd of horses is miniature in the distance, silhouetted against another line of huge pine trees. If you called them, they might come running, or they might not. Their heads are bent to whatever grass is left and the thin layer of hay strewn on the ground, scattered from nineteen horses tearing apart a round bale and carrying sheafs of hay away from the original bale as they jockeyed for position. They don't look up for the non-novelty of a person standing far away by one of the gates. At this distance, the crunching of their hooves can't be heard.

The harvested garden and the trees and quiet and the movements of herd animals in the distance seem striking. These are the plants the first people here ate. These are the woods they hunted in. This is the grass that crackled under their feet.

The first people probably didn't plant neat rows of corn. But perhaps the colonists did. And certainly the farmers who settled in this region to breed their dairy cows and plant their cornfields would have stood in front of gutted autumn gardens, pulling pumpkins, twisting corn ears from their stalks, debating what could be left or not left to risk the inevitable frost.

Or perhaps the traditional autumn vegetables, pumpkins and corn, only put someone in mind of Thanksgiving and the pictures they saw in elementary school of smiling, button-eyed Native Americans and settlers with funny hats. Maybe there's not that much history in the garden or out in the fields.

In the barn, though, history is a weight. This is a barn full of barn things, discarded equipment, buckets, hoses, brushes, pieces of fencing, hay bales, medicines for the horses, tack covered in dust so thick you know that particular saddle hasn't been ridden or even touched for a decade. Old wood. Old metal. Everything seems very old inside barns, even when they aren't the ancient wooden structures full of rusting farm equipment.

The barn is silent without a single horse inside it. Birds dart among the rafters, but fewer now than during nesting seasons, when they try to build nests between the roof and the thick plastic stapled to it. There are carved owls on some of the stall posts to keep these birds out.

The sand covering the ground is fine and soft, and rises as thick dust when one trudges through it. You'll be sneezing dirt for the rest of the day and feel the dust in your throat when you breathe deeply. There are small depressions and miniature dunes from the traffic of hooves and boots and paws and wheels. In the end stall, amidst the hay and sawdust, the big tabby cat Walter looks up with a mouthful of gray and white feathers. He'll come to you later to be petted and coddled, mewing energetically for attention, when he is finished being a prehistoric, apex predator. For now he wants to eat his bird in the corner of the stall.

Entering the barn is a routine. If there are horses in the fenced, interior paddock area, the first action is to go to that fence and greet them. If any come to you, you stroke their noses or necks carefully over or through the metal rails, and withdraw your hand if another crowds too close, because they will bite at a horse that seems to be getting unwarranted attention and might be receiving treats.

From there you check the sandy ground of the paddock for piles of manure. Then the stalls. The red wheelbarrow is always in a stall, with its plastic scooper fork. Sometimes the only one available is the one with the broken tine. The first thing one does upon entering the barn (at least, if you are courteous), is to clean, because the stable owners muck this barn out every day, several times a day, 365 days a year, and the only times they don't have to are when someone else volunteers to do it for them.

When the ground is clear of horse apples, the next thing to do is go into the small tack room at the end of the barn. Saddles and blankets and bridles are organized (or not organized) on the walls, on racks, dangling from hooks. Tack boxes go near certain saddles. Every boarder has a section of space. Lead ropes in every color of the rainbow hang on the walls. You would be looking for the dark blue tack box that was in a former life the large cosmetic carrier for a little girl's dance career, and two of the dark blue lead ropes. One has a dark blue halter attached to it with a green, clover shaped charm on it that says "Fox." The other halter is red and has no charm, but belongs to Lancelot.

There is a third halter, blue with leather patches sewn to it. It's a large halter, a size up from the other two. The horse that wore it was a Thoroughbred mare named Brandy, who is buried in the pasture close by, under her favorite wallowing spot in the sand. You can see this spot from the door of the tack room.

hane — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 14:02:32 GMT

Couldn't sleep last night, stayed up until four am, alarm goes off at seven am, I look like a walking corpse right now.

Also I went to mcdonalds for breakfast, as if that was going to help, and tried to hand the girl my card THROUGH the driver's side window. Between the order speaker thing and the money window I had rolled the window back up to conserve heat, and then forgotten I had done this. In the entire five seconds it took to drive between the two.

I'm not safe for the public today.

hane — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 18:50:54 GMT

I need a PB master entry.

For Noble Six:
Angelina Jolie in Sky Captain: http://jugglegeese.insanejournal.com/4658.html#cutid1

Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider: http://asylums.insanejournal.com/starforge/23445.html

Angelina Jolie in Wanted: http://seethesoldiers.insanejournal.com/107999.html#cutid1 and http://seethesoldiers.insanejournal.com/43704.html#cutid1

Various Angelina Jolie: http://asylums.insanejournal.com/rpg_icons_ita/128671.html

Irene Bedard: http://theholyghost.insanejournal.com/17320.html#cutid1

Leila Otadi: http://www.hollow-art.com/base/leila-otadi

Not!Con Report 2

hane — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 15:51:30 GMT

I should do this by day or I'll forget things.

MONDAY!

Aight so I was at work for most of monday and then I went to get Chii at the aiport, and she calls me and says there's some kind of lock down (we blame Vic) BUT it seemed to have mostly cleared out by the time I arrived, because there were only a couple groups of cops/security guys standing around when I got to the baggage claim. We did not lose my car this time. I totally recognized Chii from far away by her N7 hoodie. She said some other guy did too.

So I dropped her off at my house and we presented her with a Delta dragon, which we'll get pictures of at some point, and I headed back to work for the remaining hour or so, and we'd found out that Chelsey needed someone to come pick her up so we planned an epic rescue mission to the far north as soon as I got home from work.

Yeah we got so fucking lost. Soooo fucking lost. Mapquest directions were really complicated and led me into downtown somehow and I was like UMMMMMM FUCK ALL Y'ALL /gets on an interstate going north idc. Nie and Chii both had GPS on their iphones that was alternately really helpful or really useless, and we jammed to 3Oh3 and Ke$ha songs like retards and it was total roadtrip. We were supposed to stop by the mall of america on our way back to go see Xel and I was like ummm yeah we might get there right as they're closing...................

Original timeframe was it taking an hour to get up there and an hour to get back, that did not happen.

Anyway so we make it up to the correct city and suddenly the internets are useless because there are several different Lily Streets, and GPS kept directing us to a certain one even though it didn't have the correct street address numbers. So we're calling Chelsey and going ARE YOU BY A FIELD???? DO YOU LIVE IN THE FIELD WITH THE CHAIN LINK FENCE??? and she's all wtf guys where is a field. Also we probably creeped out the people in that neighborhood by driving around and around their block.

Then, by our powers combined, someone who wasn't me, I don't even remember who, suggested that we use GPS to find Costco instead and get to Chelsey's house from there. So we go over to this mall that had a Costco and there was a line of dudes outside Gamestop, obviously there for Reach, and there was much yelling and hooting with the windows down. From Costco we were able to navigate to a lake???? or something and then we found Chelsey's house on the CORRECT Lily Street and Hane really needed a beer at that point. Also my car (which is actually my mother's car, she and my dad took my car on their vacation) is fucking tiny and has a tiny gas tank and it doesn't really seat five people comfortably but I really didn't want to try and drive the van up there in case it died, because it's old. So we piled in and somehow going back was a lot less nerve wracking, except we ended up taking a road that runs through a lot of downtown areas and it was 30 mph and we probably should have stayed on a large southbound road BUT OH WELL. Vic and I are going to be the only ones left Wed evening to take Chelsey home so maybe I'll have a better route planned.

Although there was one really cool part of the road that looked like a horror movie setting and then Vic was the Bak Zagans.

SO we finally get back to the Mall of America area and of course I miss like five viable exits but it was okay because I know that area a little better and we did, in fact, make it to the mall before it closed. Chii's purse strap had broken so we were looking for a new one for her. We went to Claire's and probably annoyed the staff, although Chii did buy a super cute purse so they can't say we weren't customers. We also went to Hot Topic (again) and found a bunch of Reach stuff that somehow we didn't see the first time, and most of us got shirts like the halo nerds we are, and the single teenage boy in the store was staring at us like he'd just witnessed a miracle. They had a cute hoodie but I am holding out for the N7 hoodie SOMEDAY so I just got this shirt and got the hoodie for Vic. Nie got super cute tiny Halo pins!

Then we descended on the tea shop where Xel works and asked her to teach us the ways of tea, and we had delishus sample tea and fapped over the elaborate tea sets and I seriously considered buying one except I already have two (cheap things, though) and all I really wanted was a tea mug (as opposed to the usual tiny tea cups) and some actual tea. Which I got! I got ~~umm Strawberry Misaki something~~ Strawberry Misaki Blooming tea and Peach Misaki Blooming tea and the tea is in balls and I will probably have to IM Xel every time I want to make some and be all how does I tea ball. Also got lovely decorative containers for the tea.

I may have to go back and get a tea set for my mom one of these days, possibly for Christmas. Most of them seem to be cast iron or whatever instead of ummm porcelain? and Xel says they're indestructible, and at my house we always inevitably chip the kettle or the cups.

So we screwed around until the mall closed and Xel got off work, so we could all go to dinner somewhere, but my car would only seat five (barely) so I said Xel should invite her boyfriend along so there would be a second car and then we walked around the outside of the mall like geniuses without being able to find the IHOP we wanted to go to, because I said it was in the "front" which is not actually the front of the mall at all, just the side I always enter. Dur. But we got to the IHOP and our waitress was probably all :|||| at this horde of people coming in, especially since I had been wearing Omega around my neck all day ~~and talking to him~~ and Vic brought her dragon CT (the gold and blue one) into IHOP as well. Waitress had a southern accent that I am not certain was real. Anyway we had bacon and pancakes and onion rings and took silly pictures and Vic told hideous stories and we all acted like we've known each other for years, and Xel's boyfriend was probably a little traumatized, but he hid it well and was totes cool.

XEL YOU LOOK LIKE RAMONA FLOWERS I CAN'T EVEN flasjflj

Also Chelsey made me realize that we'd totally missed this app round at Amat and I felt slightly retarded because I'd meant to do that last week. OH WELL.

So then we were done stuffing our faces with bacon and they gave me a box for my pancakes which was an impossible box and three people tried to get it closed and finally a waitress had to come help us and she was like yeah this our revenge on customers, the amazing unclosable box, but she got it closed and we piled into my tiny car again and headed home, and I forgot to buy milk.

Once home for some reason I dragged everyone outside to go play on the playground up on the hill behind my house, which is total Slenderman territory, and it was like past midnight and we're up there on the swings and shit and falling off things and I totally tripped and fell on my face like a cool person while trying to spin someone on a spinny thing. Wood chips should never be used in playgrounds, jesus. I'm pretty sure they used to have rocks up there.

Then we walked along the bike trail a little bit until I found the path that goes through the woods, and I was all okay guys Blair Witch tiem and we set out on an epic adventure through the pitch black woods except we all had flashlights/iphones and the trail itself is mostly bare earth and everyone was all WHERE ARE WE GOING and Vic had to hold onto the back of my jacket. The path just leads out to a street nearby though, and then we walked back to my house like awesome people who just walked through the dark damp woods for no real reason and ended up a block away from where we wanted to be. *awesome host*

Once back inside we decided to set up the Xbox, and we all had heart attacks and freaked out when Chelsey said my TVs wouldn't work with her cable and Christmas was canceled, because Reach would arrive in the morning and we would have to just stare at it pathetically, but then Chii saved Christmas by realizing there is a switch on the cord itself for TV and HDTV, the latter of which I do not have, and the cable worked just fine once that switch was flipped. So Mass Effect 2 was put in with Vanderloo Broshep and we watched the beginning, but I had to go to bed SOB because gd work but I just fell asleep out on the couch in the same room, and was like half laying on top of Chii because my couch is not that long and she was on the opposite end and there was not enough room for four legs in the middle. I woke up enough to make snarky comments now and then but I don't remember what I said, something about blacklights and jizz and Miranda's pasty white face, and then I passed out until someone on the screen was talking to Garrus and I woke up long enough to see Garrus and then everyone was going to bed and I crawled to Vic's designated bedroom because it was the closest and passed out again. But not before telling her to remind me to tell her in the morning "about the Axe House," at which point she swore at me and was all WHY THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THAT NOW I'LL NEVER SLEEP and I see on plurk that she did not.

Oop.

Now it is Tuesay and I am typing this at work, and I doubt anyone is awake at my house yet, although I woke Chii up when I was getting ready because I forgot to get my stuff out of my room last night. Anyway Reach should be arriving at my doorstep any time, and I will not be there and that is sad but I expect a running commentary on IM or something.

/sits and waits

Also I see our appointments end early today, so I might sneak out of work early... Today is going to be our only night with everyone together and people want to see Gamer and RocknRolla.

Also I think we need to go to the grocery store tonight if anyone wants to do any cooking.

AGAIN, PICTURES WILL BE POSTED WHEN I HAVE THEM. Everyone is taking pictures with their phones and I can't do that :cccc

Also lmao this shirt is so amazingly trashy.

hane — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 15:33:52 GMT

Ok we might have to start calling my house SingCon today when Chii and Chelsey get here. ANYWAY:

On Friday, Nie and Vic flew in, and the airport lost Vic's luggage, and it was very traumatizing because her phone wouldn't work and she couldn't call me but she managed to text me but then I couldn't call or text her back BUT I FOUND HER ANYWAY and then I lost my car and that was hideous. We found it eventually, though, thanks to Vic being smart and realizing that the "gold" ramp could be on level 1 or 2 or 3 or whatever and we had been wandering around level 3 when we needed to be on level 2 and I felt silly.

Then we sat in my car and ate snacks until Nie's flight got in. Then we went for midnight coffee and tacos. THEN WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT and talked about dragon sex and dildos and kitties and various horrible things, and Vic wrote sleep dep run on sentence stories for apps about CT and Wyoming traveling back through time on dragons and being on the Titanic and other stuff which you can read here. And Nie's laptop blew up and was making possessed noises but she was able to system restore it after 29847274 hours of fighting with it. Vic also gave a dramatic reading of a passage in one of my Janine Cross dragonsmut books.

Nie was the only awake the next morning for forever. :cc The airline people called to try and deliver Vic's bag to us but I didn't get up to answer the phone so I called them back and we decided to go pick the bag up at the airport, since we were going to be in that area later anyway.

Then we went to Mall of America and spent monies and I forgot my check card so we had to go back to my house to get it and we went and got Vic's bag and the guy gave us some random person's bag at first. We walked around the Mall! We looked at lacy lingerie. We went to the gourmet cooking store and bought 29472947 kinds of salsas and sauces, including a super spicy one. We ate dinner at Tucci Bennucch and it was delishus. We resolved to come back during the week so Vic could go on a roller coaster, and also to see Xel at work and buy tea from her.

Then we came home and watched Ghost Adventures and managed to scare ourselves silly (except Nie, who was not scared) and there was a tiny frog on my front window and Nie was all ADORABLE FROGGIE OMG and took pictures of it, and we all piled into one bed because that keeps ghosts away. Also we convinced Chii to get a plane ticket last minute and fly out here and I fucked up my check card in the process. Vic told us horrible stories about Furbies that she was reading off /x/.

On Sunday we should've gotten up early to go to renfest but that was my fault, because I ended up getting lost on the way out there because mapquest sucks and I apparently can't tell left from right on the fly BUT EVENTUALLY WE MADE IT and most of the crowds had thinned out so we got to park near the entrance. e.e Everyone wore silly corsets. Nie and I wore blue wigs and Vic has orange hair, so the vendors called us smurfs and asked if we'd been cursed by fairies.

WE BOUGHT DRAGONS: http://images.plurk.com/6418643_3b024b0dfcf268f2c471b3f823045e18.jpg

Seriously these things were so fucking cute and we spent 90% of our spent money at this stall and everyone was all WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE THEY'RE SO CUTE. My dragon is sitting right next to me as I type this at work. He's curled on top of the router. Obviously, his name is Omega because he's red, and he has a Toothless shape head.

Also because I had fucked up my card the night before it didn't work at all at Renfest so I was like ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Nie can I borrow money................ BUT it's working today so everything got fixed. I also realize now that, when I was on the phone with the bank, I was saying my account number out loud behind this tent where they were doing psychic readings and I bet the lady could hear everything I said.

Renfest had amazing weather this time, cool but sunny. We bought jewelry and I splurged on those stained glass candle goblets that I buy every year and a kid at the place selling masks was fagging all over Nie's Master Chief pin on her bag. We didn't go to any of the stage shows but there was one being done in a clearing near the entrance, two guys doing tricks with a whip and then a staged swordfight, and they brought little kids from the audience in to help and it was adorable. Bought myself the mead I'd been waiting for all year. Delicious, delicious mead. I should ask if they sell that by bottles.

We took pictures in front of the Bad Manor building with its flowers, and bought jerky on the way out and the guy asked to think of them while we were sampling his meat. Didn't lose my car this time because we were there past closing and the parking lot/field was emptying out. Getting back to my place was somehow way easier and there were no panic attacks on my part. Stopped at Walgreens for stuff and the clerk squeed over the dragons, since we had them all around our necks.

Got home and ordered pizza and made Vic sit through a volume of ancient 90s anime, Ronin Warriors, and then she put in Undead and we watched zombie trout until I had to get to bed because work the next morning :c Vic and I stupidly tried the super spicy salsa and promptly ran screaming for the milk. We'll have to mix it with other salsas or we won't be able to eat it.

My cats are being surprisingly tolerant of having guests in the house. Today is the first day that they'll be there without me around, so we'll see if they pester houseguests that are not their people. Kitten 'helped' me make the bed this morning by running and jumping up on it and chasing her tail and refusing to get off.

Chelsey is driving down today, she's already left her house, and I go to the airport to pick Chii up at two pm today. HOPEFULLY THEY WON'T LOSE HER BAG. Idk what we're doing tonight, since Reach comes out tomorrow and everyone will probably want to sit and play that, so tonight maybe we'll go back to the Mall of America for rollercoasters or something. Or we'll sit and play Mass Effect and stuff and get tipsy.

MOAR PICTURES WHEN I HAVE THEM.

EDIT: brb we have to go rescue chelsey.

hane — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 14:27:17 GMT

Went clothes shopping last night, although I probably shouldn't have spent the money. On the other hand, I now have things with fleece for the freezing cold office. Including leg warmers to wear underneath my pants.

In other news, company owner may be insisting/expecting that, during the week that my mom is gone from her office (more than an hour away), that I need to go and work in that office instead of mine (30 minutes away). This displeases me.

Also displeased to hear that he wants to come and help. What the fuck is he going to do? There are only two computers in the office and both of them are in use.

hane — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:41:11 GMT

hane — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 14:27:01 GMT

Satoshi Kon (1963-2010)

Also, concerning the cat abusing woman that was targeted by /b/...

The police have said that there will be no charges.

I don't know what level of authority the RSPCA has in this matter, but I suspect it would amount to a slap on the wrist with a wet bus ticket.

Years of experience watching 80s and 90s television has taught me one thing: If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them ... maybe you can hire The /b/ Team.

Best.

hane — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:35:41 GMT

I was going to write up a big post complaining about work, but then I deleted it. Feeling particularly stressed and useless today. I'll make a checklist of things I want to get accomplished and work on that, I suppose.

Envious of a lot of other people, right now. Then I feel guilty for being envious.

In other news, my father wants to go to South Africa. :/ And retire in Belize.

hane — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 14:09:18 GMT

WHY IS IT SO GODDAMN COLD IN THIS OFFICE