Good for you for stepping up, and for believing that your brother can handle some responsibilities, not just receive care. I was responsible for my youngest brother through his adult life, and I understand many of the dilemmas very well.

In terms of the bed wetting, it’s impossible to know for sure, but I would immediately buy a waterproof mattress cover to use as well as the depends.. Adults with such disabilities are often very sensitive and do not quickly adjust to new settings – and the bed wetting and your family’s natural responses may add to make him even more nervous, so I would reassure him that one day he will learn, not to worry for now, and set up the easiest system you can, for the nightly laundry to get done each day..

Such people need family but also others in their lives. My brother liked school and reading simple young adult books – Carl Deuker is a great Young Adult author who writes really well about teens living in families who move to a new area, he writes about how the teen finds his way around new peers. If your brother is not a good reader, you or someone in your family, could read several paragraphs to him each night – that takes the focus off of you as his social worker, guide, judge of his effort, family – and lets you spend half an hour, both enjoying a book together. He’d get more used to it each day. My brother and I read together weekly (and I never missed) when he lived in a Nursing Home in his later years, we met on Zoom.