Hali of Firpine's Personal Log

It's 2023…

halioffirpine — Mon, 02 Jan 2023 17:08:56 GMT

I haven't logged into LJ since 2017, and… people are still posting here? Wow…

Thank You For Supporting “Cognitive Dissonance”

halioffirpine — Mon, 03 Apr 2017 13:01:07 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

It’s been a long 30 days, but we did it. Cognitive Dissonance is now in production with real drums, guitar, bass, and even a real piano this time. We’re just shy of netting 200% of our original goal, but… we’ve still got room to grow.

It’s Slacker-Backer Time

I’ve already heard from a few people who, despite the month-long campaign, missed out on their chance to support the album. It’s okay, I procrastinate all the time too. One of these days that recycling bin will actually empty itself.

But for those of you who still want to get in on the exclusive goodies, there is hope! Head over to matthewebel.com/cogdis and you can grab one of the same packages I offered on Kickstarter. You’ll be charged immediately, of course, but otherwise it’s really no different from the original campaign.

What Now?

The mixing is mostly done already. Now the album must be mastered, a process whereby witch doctors and druids chant and sprinkle bizarre powders all over the album to make it better. No, seriously, it’s pretty much audio voodoo… but it does actually make the album sound much better. This is also why we’re still taking new funding from slacker-backers: I’d still like to send the album to Andrew Mendelson who did my last three albums. He’s a Grammy-winner, he’s damn good, and he’s priced accordingly.

There’s also a slim glimmer of hope that we’ll still make it to vinyl. The album’s the perfect length for a vinyl LP and I set the track order for a perfect Side A/Side B arrangement. But vinyl’s expensive! It’d be great if we could make it happen, but that’s entirely up to you.

No matter what, though, we’ve got a great-sounding album on our hands. You’ll be getting updates about it as we get nearer to its official release in May, but for now… Thank you.

Help make my new album, “Cognitive Dissonance,” even better. With your help, we may even make it to vinyl!

Pre-Order the New Album!

Pareto’s Law of Album Creation

halioffirpine — Thu, 16 Mar 2017 14:11:27 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

I recently announced on Kickstarter that I would trade my art budget for the chance to record real (not digital) piano tracks. Most people will never notice the difference, but I believe the money was absolutely well spent. The difference is subtle, but an important part of album creation. Take a listen:

The first half is my original MIDI piano… which is pretty damn good, honestly. Apple put a lot of energy and engineering into their samples for Logic, but there’s just something richer about the second half. Something more authentic that most people can’t put their finger on. Something that gives me a chance to explain how Pareto’s Law applies to making an album.

What Is Pareto’s Law?

If you’re not familiar with Pareto’s Law, it’s also called the 80/20 principle and its applications vary greatly:

80% of your music income comes from 20% of your fans
80% of your problems come from 20% of your fans
80% of your income and impressions come from 20% of the time you spent working

When I make an album, it means two specific things:

80% of the album’s quality comes from 20% of the effort I put into it
The remaining 20% of the album’s quality takes 80% of my effort

Getting a B grade isn’t much harder than getting a C, but that A+ takes four times the effort. Make sense?

It’s the Little Things

Photo by Chris Penn

When you hear a great album, you don’t consciously perceive all the little things that make you love it so much. Sure, that guitar solo or soulful vocal is easy to pick out, but that’s actually the easy part. That’s the 80%.

Chris Penn once shared a photo from the France pavilion at Epcot. He had found an antique bicycle leaning against the wall next to an easel and painter’s supplies. It was a prop, of course, but a prop that you’d only ever pass by if you went to the restroom in that particular section of the park. 90% of Epcot’s visitors would never know it’s there, but Disney believes in Pareto’s Law. That little extra bit of atmosphere helps cement the experience in a way that canned accordion music and crepe stands never could.

It’s so easy to cut corners when producing an album; That amp modeler sounds good enough. That MIDI piano sounds good enough. And for at least nine of my own albums, my engineering ability sounds good enough.

We don’t go into this business to make B-grade art, we aim for greatness. Every time you decide not to go for that extra 20%— to get that A+ instead of a B —you’re taking away a tiny piece of your album’s greatness. Take away enough little pieces and… Well look at that, you’ve lost 20% of your album’s quality already. Pareto’s Law at work.

Help make my new album, “Cognitive Dissonance,” a reality. With your help, we may even make it to vinyl!

Pre-Order the New Album!

Two Days in Mad Oak Studios

halioffirpine — Fri, 10 Mar 2017 17:52:08 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

We just spent two full days replacing the drums and re-amping guitar/bass parts at Mad Oak Studios. Many, many thanks to Shelly, Greg, Karasu, Richard, and Earl for coming to the recording session, I hope you had a great time!

As I said on the Kickstarter page, the drums sound ENORMOUS compared to the basement recordings we captured throughout 2016. This has truly transformed the sound of this album, just from hearing the early mixes.

Day 2 was spent re-amping the guitar and bass parts. Re-amping is where you take a clean guitar or bass recording (no effects, no distortion, just the pure guitar sound recorded at home) and run it through an amp/effects in the studio. This allows Matt Pompei and Koro to focus on getting the right performance in the comfort of their own home. The expensive studio time is spent just getting the right tone for their performance.

The difference, much like the drums, is enormous. Benny Grotto is a re-amping wizard, and the spells he cast on Matt and Koro’s performances will blow your mind. Seriously. You may need paper towels and some de-greaser.

Taking A Gamble

Wait… didn’t you say real guitar and bass parts are Goal #2?

Yes, I’m taking a bit of a gamble here. We’re still $660 shy of officially meeting that goal, but we’ve still got 18 days left to do it. I’m counting on you to help me bust through the next goal or three in a few weeks’ time. So please keep spreading the word about Cognitive Dissonance!

I promise, your friends and family will forgive you for harassing them once they hear it.

(And I’ve also got more studio photos on Instagram)

Help make my new album, “Cognitive Dissonance,” a reality. With your help, we may even make it to vinyl!

Pre-Order the New Album!

Cognitive Dissonance and the War on Critical Thinking

halioffirpine — Mon, 06 Mar 2017 17:43:05 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Cognitive dissonance is more than just inconsistency in your stated beliefs (i.e. “but her emails” vs. “Pence’s personal AOL account”). It’s a breakdown of critical thinking that allows you to believe in contradictory concepts without resolving them.

Or, to put it simply, it’s a lack of questions. Or maybe just a lack of answers you’re willing to accept.

If you’re afraid to accept facts that make you uncomfortable, though, it never makes you stronger. In fact, it makes you easier to manipulate. Once you stop questioning yourself (and, more importantly, questioning your leaders), you’ve outsourced your brain to someone else’s agenda. Who are you allowing to do your thinking for you? A pundit? A pastor? A lover? A chemical?

If there’s a war on critical thinking, who’s your enemy? (It might actually be yourself.)

Alternative Facts

President #45’s attacks on the media are just machine gun fire across the trenches in this war. But I cling to hope that it will eventually backfire. After all, he’s effectively encouraging more questions. True, it’s likely that his drones will simply flock to sources that confirm their biases. They’ll keep buying the spin even as his alternative facts contradict themselves.

But it is my hope that some of them, even just one, will actually take his advice: Question the media. Question the sources. Do some fact-checking and educate yourself. With any luck, they may even accept “classic” facts when they find them.

An Album of Questions

The new album I’m working on, Cognitive Dissonance, is mostly about bringing up the questions that will free us. Questions that have helped free me, at least. Some of them are painful, sure, but we can never let our critical thinking atrophy. Once we stop asking questions, we’ve lost.

And then we’re at the mercy of those who want to do the thinking for us.

Help make my new album, “Cognitive Dissonance,” a reality. Pre-order your copy now and maybe even join us in the recording studio!

Pre-Order the New Album!

Help Me Make a New Album

halioffirpine — Mon, 27 Feb 2017 16:39:06 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

It’s time to bring Cognitive Dissonance to life.

For the next 30 days, I’ll be asking you to help make the next album happen. We don’t need much— just $3,000. The last time you helped me release an album, it broke $9,000 in less than a month, so hopefully we can at least get over the first hurdle. Of course, the ultimate goal is VINYL, but I’ll be happy just to put proper drum, guitar, and bass tracks on the album.

This isn’t an adventure album, it’s not based on a new novel, and it’s not for kids. This is pure, unadulterated piano rock that I’ve been brewing for the last year and a half. At a time when critical thinking itself seems to be under fire, I needed to create something that exposed the kinds of questions we ask ourselves every day.

Yeah, it can get serious. On a few tracks it even gets political. Fortunately, though, Prodo-1 still gets to sing an entire song. Also, there are coyotes.

Back this project now at matthewebel.com/cogdis

I’ll be kicking off the month with a Telethoncert… a streaming concert tomorrow at 6pm EST. You’ll be able to catch it at matthewebel.com/live OR at matthewebel.com/cogdis

Back the new album on Kickstarter and help us make it to vinyl LP’s!

Back The Album Now!

My Tiny Desk Music Video

halioffirpine — Wed, 01 Feb 2017 18:01:51 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

If you’re not familiar with NPR’s Tiny Desk concert series, it’s a little thing where they stick a band behind Bob Boilen’s diminutive credenza and music happens. That’s it, really! But the contest itself involves more than just an appearance on NPR, there’s a full-on tour involved. So I entered with THIS video (that you can watch and share at NPR’s website).

Is Prodo-1 Building an Artificial Me?

halioffirpine — Fri, 27 Jan 2017 15:10:41 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Apparently my robot buddy, Prodo-1, has been asking some questions of my email list (the Robot Army). I think he might be trying to replace me with some kind of artificial intelligence (or artificial stupidity like Prodo-2). Either way, I support the experiment. At least he’s got a hobby, right?

The best part, though, has been reading some of the responses. Normally I’d cover one or two during my weekly live streams, but there are so many good answers pouring in I wanted to share some with you…

What’s the crazy plot-twist at the end of Matthew Ebel: The Movie?

We find out that Prodo-2 is actually a malfunctioning coffee maker.
-Geargutz

Matthew is actually a synthetic organism made up of panda and avian DNA. It turns out his overarching goal was not, in fact, global domination of the music industry. But was instead to open a collection of bamboo emporiums.
-Inusan

After a long, exhausting battle, Matthew finds himself besieged by the Roosterman Menace, trapped in an ancient underground temple somewhere in the Chihuahuan Desert with nothing more than the clothes on his back. Using his knowledge of thaumic resonant energies, Matthew infuses a nearby hawk with superpowers and a massive size. The hawk uses his newfound eye lasers and fire breath to repel the enemy forces, and then offers his help to end the attacks of the evil chicken-people upon our Planet Earth by serving as Matthew’s steed. And so, they ride, Matthew and the hawk winning every battle as they push towards their enemies’ base: The Egg of Pernicious Poultry. In the end, Matthew and the hawk dive-bomb into the enemy chambers, setting off a mighty blaze of fireworks and glory, which destroys The Egg and all within. The world writes him off as dead, honoring the sacrifice made that day… but the hero Matthew lives yet!
-Grayson

I have to admit, if that last one is just the twist at the end, it’s gonna be a LONG movie. Also, an alarming number of you assumed that I’d tear off my mask and reveal myself to be either a robot or a bird. Or a robot bird. Anyhoo, Prodo has apparently been gathering data on all of you as well. Like this gem:

When the lab finished experimenting on YOU, what was your new superpower?

The ability to fully understand all British humour.
-Shadis

The ability to lightly chill things on command.
-Anonymous

The ability to bullshit papers for college.
-Chris Laurence

Crippling anxiety.
-Very Anonymous

Oh well, whatever Prodo-1 is up to, I hope he doesn’t actually give anyone magical powers of… um… crippling anxiety. But if you’d like to be a part of the experiment, don’t forget to join the Robot Army. I’m sure he’s got more questions for us meat-based beings.

The Time to Question

halioffirpine — Fri, 20 Jan 2017 17:17:41 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

I’m never sure what I’m trying to say.

I’m never sure what I’m thinking, usually. My head is always full of questions.

Yours is too, I’m guessing. But that is okay. Our determined stares hold back the flood of questions, but we must let them flow.

The time to question is always right now.

Question what you’ve been told. Question what you’ve told others. Question your God, your leaders, and your bosses. Above all, question yourself.

You will always find cognitive dissonance. You will always find conflict.

You will only resolve them though questions.

Anyone who tells you not to question is trying to enslave you.

Questions are what empower you, even as they make you feel uncertain.

Questions can bring down walls.

The time to question is now.

Okay, I get it… I talk too much.

halioffirpine — Mon, 09 Jan 2017 15:19:32 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

The message of many, many parent/teacher conferences was abundantly clear: Matthew Ebel talks too much.

He acts out in class.

He employs “attention-getting devices.”

And now even Patreon is jumping on me for this… except they’re actually praising me.

Go figure.

But what strikes me is… wow… 95%? I’m more active than ninety-five percent of everyone else on Patreon? Seriously, I’m kicking myself for not being more active with my hardest-core-of-hardcore fans, yet I’m apparently one of the most interactive creators on the site.

Would I be better off if I were more stoic? Is that what serious artists are like? ‘Cause I think the Officers prefer me as a “chatterbox.”

In fact, I’m about to go thank my Officer’s Club for making 2016 my best year yet (financially speaking, anyway), even though I only played a handful of shows. And despite the impending inauguration of President ManChild McTwitterTantrum, I think 2017 may be even better than the last.

I guess it’s up to us to decide how the next year will unfold, and I sure as hell ain’t going to do that quietly.

Or alone.

Making a Creative Brief for a New Album

halioffirpine — Tue, 03 Jan 2017 17:38:06 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

One of the challenges that comes with every new album is wrapping a complete creative package around the music. You need photos, you need album art, you need posters and shirts and little promo graphics for emails and websites and GODDAMMIT CAN’T I JUST MAKE MUSIC?!?

Making a creative brief isn’t my strong suit. Some artists, like Amanda Palmer, clearly think in visual terms… I do not. I think in words and literals, not pictures and figuratives. It’s difficult enough making the music when you’re left-brained, but visualizing the necessary art package is torture.

Fortunately, my good friends Jess and Brad are very visual people. Professionally so. They were kind enough to take a couple hours squeezing the reluctant visuals out of my head, leaving me with enough clarity to begin a true and honest Creative Brief.

What IS a creative brief?

As Karen DeFelice said, the creative brief is “a definite blueprint for the project, with a clear set of expectations and goals.” The kind of thing that gives an illustrator or photographer a much easier time making you happy. Perfect! That’s the kind of unambiguous direction I need in my life… and exactly the kind of thing I’m not good at. Karen’s article, however, walks a noob like myself through the process. (Thanks, Jess, for pointing this one out!)

For Cognitive Dissonance, all I knew at the beginning was that I wanted something mostly monochromatic and more abstract than literal. Not a lot to go on. So grabbing the steps from Karen’s article, let’s work through this process together.

1: Who am I, and what is the album about?

This is akin to writing my own bio, which no artist I know enjoys doing. With respect to the album itself, though, I can at least describe the mood and dynamic of the music itself. Themes like broken dreams, perseverance, disenfranchisement, uncertainty, and hope permeate the lyrics. Even the album title suggests a theme of conflict and duality.

The production is harder-edged than most of my previous works, but isn’t what new listeners would call “hardcore.” Brad described it as somewhere between Elton John and the Foo Fighters, a space I’m very comfortable with.

As I suggested in my first album announcement, you could say Cognitive Dissonance is about learning to live with the conflicts within us all.

2: What do I need made, and when do I need it?

An “art package” is a nebulous term. What specifically do I need art and photos for?

CD and LP Album cover/inserts
Promotional head shots for reviewers/press
Graphics for shirts
Graphics for posters
Graphics for other merch (could be anything from wristbands to pint glasses… I’ll need to get more specific)
Web-ready graphics for each of the album’s singles

The list may grow or shrink depending on fundraising, but at least it’s a start. My artist and/or photographer will know what the end products will be.

The schedule is a little easier: I need at least the cover art before fundraising in February, the promotional head shots before starting the PR blitz in March, and the rest by April so we can have all the merch ready to ship with the album in May. Why is the schedule important? For the artist it signals whether or not they’ll have time to complete the task. For my sanity, it tells me that I don’t have to hire a photographer until after we’ve done the fundraising.

Remember: Structure and deadlines are your friend when you’re working with other people.

3: Who’s my target audience?

Ah, marketing. The bane of my existence.

From the album title alone, you can tell I’m not shooting for the Andrew W. K. or Blink 182 crowds. I’m going for mid-20’s to mid-40’s intellectuals, presumably liberal, politically active (or at least aware), all genders. They eat locally-sourced sustainable food whenever possible, verify their news, and question their own biases. The kinds of people who probably have kids by now, but bring them to Comic Cons in costumes that match their own. The album’s not for the kids, though, it’s for the grown-ups who have had time to develop insecurities and addenda to their lifelong dreams.

4: Competition

I believe that, in music, you don’t have competition. Nobody listens exclusively to one artist. So where a business would describe their competitors and how they need to differentiate themselves, I need to describe the opposite: Whom do I sound like? Whose images and videos would I most like to emulate?

I’ll get back to you on that one. This question has always stymied me. For now, at least I know I’ve got elements of Elton John and Foo Fighters.

5: The Mood Board

Thanks to Pinterest, it’s easy to create a Mood Board and share it with the artists you hire. It’s simply a collection of things that represent what you’ve got in mind:

Color palette
Fonts
Artistic styles
Costumes
Textures
Locations

This is the easiest part for my non-visual brain to grasp— I don’t have to know WHY something works with the album, I just have to say “yes, that’s what I want” and pin it. Pin enough items and you’ll start to see patterns emerge. Beware, though: your artist/photographer may ask you why you added something, and you’ll probably have to give them a good reason.

It’s okay. That’s a healthy part of expanding your right brain. It’ll make this process easier next time.

6: Money

The budget is an obvious necessity, but how and when it will be paid must be addressed up front. Are you offering a deposit? Multiple payments upon delivery of multiple items? Make sure your artist knows you’ll be using their work in a commercial venture (I am hoping to actually make money from this album, after all). Do they want a check? Paypal? What about transaction fees?

Another thing to consider is the approval process. Are you the only one giving the green light, or do you have to decide as a band? What about your manager? Are approvals only valid in writing/email, or do you need a Skype call? Telegram chat? Unless you’re hiring a professional design firm, chances are good even your artist won’t have a clearly defined preference for all this, so work it out in writing before you’re neck-deep in Kickstarter mayhem.

7: Pre-existing art and formatting

I’m lucky in that I’ve had the same logo and type treatment for years. Take a look at my website’s masthead and you’ll see it: The circular logo with the big block font in all caps. If I’m asking the artist for a complete album cover design, they’re going to need those elements. To make things easiest, I keep them in a Google Drive folder as JPEG, EPS, and PNG, along with the actual font files.

I also need to spell out what formats I’ll need from the artist. Bitmaps like JPEG or PNG are fine for web graphics, but silk-screened goods like shirts and coffee mugs usually require vector images like EPS or AI. I’d also like the layered files, if the artist works in layers, so I can use various elements with adjustments. Like taking that fireball in my hand and replacing it with a “20% off” sticker for a Christmas special (or some other corny alteration). Getting the layered files gives me flexibility for the life of the album.

The more specific, the better

I don’t like telling my drummer exactly how to play his instrument, nor do I like telling an artist how to draw. Self-expression is why most of us became artists in the first place. But every project needs specific direction to stay coherent. If someone asked me to just write them a song, I’d be lost. If they asked me for an up-tempo ska piece about spring break, that would make my job a LOT easier.

The more details I can articulate, the more likely my art package will compliment the music I’ve written. Time to start writing that creative brief so Cognitive Dissonance can come to life.

Building a MIDI-Controlled Light Show via Arduino, Part One

halioffirpine — Sat, 31 Dec 2016 20:12:28 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

2017 UPDATE: I just realized I never finished this old article… I’ll be working on it during the first week of 2017 and should have something new soon! Sign up for updates and you’ll know when it’s done…

Professional stage lighting is big, heavy, expensive, and complicated.

Then again, professional album creation used to be that way too- you’d pay session players, spend $1,000 an hour on studio time, and even more on artwork and CD replication. With that in mind, I wanted to figure out how to create effect lighting (think flashy colors, not flood lights) on the super-cheap for my Coffee Bunker set and on-stage performances.

What I Wanted To Accomplish

I pride myself on a lightweight, easy-to-travel setup. There are only two of us on stage and we rely on a convention’s in-house A/V crew. I try to keep our load-in to less than half an hour and setup/sound check to an hour at most. Keeping my ship this light and maneuverable was the #1 priority.

What I needed was some way to control LED strip lighting from my on-stage controls (which are all MIDI-based). In theory, I should be able to hit a foot switch in the middle of a song and have the LED’s flash with the thunderclaps from “Let It Rain“, or pulse in various colors to the exact tempo we’re playing, or glow bright red when the ship is under attack. That sort of thing.

My Way or The Proper Way

Effect lighting is usually controlled by a system called DMX. If you’re familiar with MIDI, it’s kinda like that… only specifically for stage instruments (lights, lasers, fog machines, etc.) It’s an industry standard, but basic lighting controllers start at over a hundred bucks and they’re usually 2- or 3-U rack-mount hardware. I fly to gigs. The last thing I want is a big rack unit to put in the “gentle” clutches of the TSA.

Enter the Arduino. In a nutshell, it’s a tiny computer running on a very basic programming language. You hook things up to the available pins and the little CPU either senses voltage coming in or controls voltage going out. That’s it.

And it’s about $25, shipped.

Add onto that a pre-made MIDI interface like the MIDI Shield from SparkFun for another $25 and you’ve got yourself a computer that can talk to your music setup. Sure, you’ll need to know a little bit about soldering and programming, but this is the stuff they give 8th graders to teach them about electronics. You’re as capable as an 8th grader, right?

So the basic hardware build is something like this:

Solder the parts of the MIDI Shield (buttons, jacks, knobs, stackable headers) onto the board.
Shove the MIDI shield’s headers into the corresponding pins on the Arduino
Connect my on-stage gear’s MIDI Out to the Arduino’s new MIDI In

Why Not DMX?

If you’re familiar with all this stuff, you may be wondering why I didn’t just get the DMX shield so I could use the industry standard.

DMX lighting instruments themselves tend to be heavy and bulky, not something you can literally roll up on a spool. They’re much brighter, but I don’t need front-of-house lighting, just some on-stage accents. Also, that still wouldn’t solve the problem of getting my Mainstage MIDI setup talking to the Arduino. Rather than deal with two shields and expensive lighting hardware, I’d rather control the lights directly from the Arduino and keep things small.

The MIDI shield has a couple of LED’s built right into the board, so you can start testing right away (GladOS would be proud). Eventually this could lead to all kinds of programmable effects, like animatronic robots playing bass for me. I’ll get into the soldering details in Part Two, but this is enough for today’s write-up. Back to making music!

Announcing A New Piano Rock Album

halioffirpine — Tue, 27 Dec 2016 17:13:00 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

I’ve mentioned the term cognitive dissonance in my weekly streaming concerts. It’s been my focus for the last year or so, ever since a friend mentioned it in a political context. We all suffer from it, no matter what kind of Zen master you think you are.

Cognitive Dissonance: Mental stress experienced by an individual with conflicting or contradictory beliefs.

The more I saw this in the world around me, the more I knew I had to make it the theme of my next album.

Originally I thought I’d be making a political album. Politicians are like a case study in CogDis: Banning gay marriage on Thursday and soliciting gay prostitutes in a men’s room on Friday. Frothing for blood over Hillary’s insecure IT infrastructure and remaining silent when Putin-backed Russian hackers help get their leader elected. Claiming to be Christian while diverting as much money as possible from the poor to the wealthy.

The daily parade of dissonance has been hard to stomach. So I will not make this album political. Not entirely, anyway. Why?

No One Wants A Political Album

As Barenaked Ladies once said, “a world that loves its irony must hate the protest singer.” As I sit here watching the train wreck named 2016 finally running out of track, it occurs to me that nobody wants to listen to an album that’s just going to make them feel worse. I know I don’t.

Our lives are difficult enough. Paying bills, feeding yourself, resisting diseases, and doing it all without killing other people. Most of the time. But we weren’t programmed simply to exist. We are born with the taste of greatness on our tongues. We are children of the stars.

We wanted to fly, so we built machines to let us do it.
We want magic, so we create books and movies and games.
We concoct alter-egos for ourselves… rock stars, werewolves, weekend warriors.

And yet, pushing back against these dreams and aspirations are the daily reminders of how much we suck: You’re not good enough. No one wants to hear about your dreams. You’re not pretty enough. Your fantasies are silly and a waste of time.

You’re all alone.

We all believe these things, to some degree or another, even as we fight against them.

Drawing Strength From The Dissonance

But what do we call people who don’t suffer from cognitive dissonance? On one end of the spectrum we have narcissists. Egomaniacs. Bullies. Trump. On the other, the clinically depressed. The disenfranchised. The suicidal. Eeyore.

No thank you, I prefer to be somewhere in between.

We all seem to live somewhere in between. It is the conflict that drives us to create. To grow. Believing at the same time that we are bags of meat and water, and yet beings of light and beauty.

I am good enough, and I can be better.
I want to fit in, and I want to be unique.
I am tiny, and I can change the world.
We are alone, together.

The album will not be about politics. Well, not entirely. It will be about the divide in each of us. The thin pane of glass separating our worst demons from our brightest dreams. I invite you to explore your own cognitive dissonance with me as I lay mine out on plastic, vinyl, and silicon.

Will you you go exploring with me?

Fake News, Robot Learning, And Mister Spock.

halioffirpine — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 16:54:30 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Time to start educating those who were duped by fake news NOW. Before it gets exponentially harder to spot.

Last night Aaron and I ended up watching some old TNG episodes… specifically “Reunification”, the two-parter with Leonard Nimoy as Spock. 20-year-old-spoiler-alert: The entire plot hinges on a holographic fake of Spock. According to the Romulans, its weakness is that it wouldn’t be able to field questions via live broadcast.

Ha! What wonderful fiction, right? Clearly this is some futuristic technology right up there with Heisenberg Compensators and artificial gravity that, somehow, functions when the rest of the ship has blacked out.

The Times, They Are A-Changin’

Well, we don’t have holographic projectors just yet… But with this technology I read about this morning, you could be watching live, interactive video of a celebrity or politician pledging their allegiance to Hitler, ISIS, and the Kiss Army. And all this within the next year or two. In HD.

So train your family and friends to stay on top of technology like this. Remind them to ALWAYS BE SKEPTICAL of anything that isn’t immediately corroborated by multiple news sources.

ESPECIALLY if it’s something you agree with. After all, the easiest way to feed someone bullshit is to coat it in sugary opinions they’re only too eager to swallow.

How I Record Guitar Parts (Even Though I SUCK At Guitar)

halioffirpine — Wed, 14 Dec 2016 21:00:48 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

I am not a guitar player, but I write a lot of guitar-heavy music. Instead of faking it on the keyboard, I try to record real guitar parts for my demos. HERE’S HOW I MAKE IT SOUND DECENT (even though I SUCK at guitar.)

Building a MIDI-Controlled Light Show via Arduino, Part One

halioffirpine — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 21:37:24 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Professional stage lighting is big, heavy, expensive, and complicated.

What I Wanted To Accomplish

My Way or The Proper Way

And it’s about $25, shipped.

So the basic hardware build is something like this:

Solder the parts of the MIDI Shield (buttons, jacks, knobs, stackable headers) onto the board.
Shove the MIDI shield’s headers into the corresponding pins on the Arduino
Connect my on-stage gear’s MIDI Out to the Arduino’s new MIDI In

Why Not DMX?

If you’re familiar with all this stuff, you may be wondering why I didn’t just get the DMX shield so I could use the industry standard.

Building a MIDI-Controlled Light Show via Arduino, Part One

halioffirpine — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 21:36:39 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Professional stage lighting is big, heavy, expensive, and complicated.

What I Wanted To Accomplish

My Way or The Proper Way

And it’s about $25, shipped.

So the basic hardware build is something like this:

Solder the parts of the MIDI Shield (buttons, jacks, knobs, stackable headers) onto the board.
Shove the MIDI shield’s headers into the corresponding pins on the Arduino
Connect my on-stage gear’s MIDI Out to the Arduino’s new MIDI In

Why Not DMX?

If you’re familiar with all this stuff, you may be wondering why I didn’t just get the DMX shield so I could use the industry standard. DMX lighting instruments themselves tend to be heavy and bulky, not something you can literally roll up on a spool. They’re much brighter, but I don’t need front-of-house lighting, just some on-stage accents. Also, that still wouldn’t solve the problem of getting my Mainstage MIDI setup talking to the Arduino. Rather than deal with two shields and expensive lighting hardware, I’d rather control the lights directly from the Arduino and keep things small.

The Piano Rocker’s Gift-Giving Guide

halioffirpine — Mon, 05 Dec 2016 15:53:20 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

I’ll keep this brief since it’s the first week of December and you’re probably already sick of holiday stuff. Seuss Day is just around the corner and, depending on what planet you’re from, that means it’s gift-giving season. I’ve thought up a few ways to spend your money wisely and not incur the wrath of evil space sharks…

Charities To Give To

What, did you think this was going to be a list of junk you’re gonna have to wrap and ship? Sorry to disappoint. In a season of shameless marketing plugs, here are some shameless plugs for organizations who could really use a whack from the ole’ Giving Stick:

Planned Parenthood

PP provides much-needed health care services to women and men who couldn’t afford them otherwise. I’m not just talking about the baby-making parts, either, they perform cancer screenings and STD tests. Regarding the A word, abortion rates are at their lowest in 40 years.

What’s more important is the annual 3.6 million contraceptive services they administer every year. With an incoming administration that’s openly hostile to Planned Parenthood and Obamacare (which requires insurers to fully cover most types of birth control), they can use the help. Year after year we see that when access to contraceptives goes up, abortions go down.

The Environmental Defense Fund

Look, we’ve only got one planet. At least until NASA’s EM drive allows us to colonize some exoplanets, anyway. And I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s getting kinda hot in here. With a president-elect who’s calling for coal and oil expansion almost as loudly as he’s calling climate change a “Chinese hoax”, the Earth could use a better representative in Washington.

The Trevor Project

In the wake of increased bullying, some kids may be thinking of suicide as a way out. I don’t know if you’ve ever been touched by a suicide (or considered it yourself), but it is never the right solution. The Trevor Project is a free, anonymous suicide hotline for LGBT and questioning youth. And, unfortunately, they’ve been busier than usual in the last month.

The Shameless Part

Okay, so… I am somewhat obligated to recommend buying some music as gifts for other people. If you’re looking for a stocking stuffer, I can always recommend my first adventure album, The High Orbit Holiday Special. It’s a Christmas tradition, complete with talking robots and alien prison scenes. You know, the usual holiday stuff.

Of course, if you’re interested in sending some Seuss Day presents my way (and you’ve already donated to a charity or three), I’m flattered. The best way to do that is via Amazon:

Political Absurdity Begins In Grade School

halioffirpine — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 15:22:08 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Some of you may be wondering how we got here.

I have a hunch, and I want it spread far and wide. This knowledge needs to be universal. Any time you read a new meme or tweet or slanted story (especially one you agree with), this bit of info should be standing on your shoulder to remind you of how we got here.

With any luck, it’ll be the Teflon™ that keeps the hyperbole from sticking.

All Things Lead To The Bomb

A while back I had the “pleasure” of judging a high school debate tournament at Harvard. Spoiler alert: it was as near to a personal hell as I’d ever imagined. Picture a parade of stressed-out teenagers explaining why everything from UAV’s to relaxing trade restrictions on China would lead to the extinction of all life on Earth.

No, seriously. That’s where every line of reasoning ended up. But here’s the part that you need to remember:

In most debate classes, they teach these kids to go straight for the “GNW” card (Global Nuclear War) so that their arguments will carry more weight.

I know, I just lamented hyperbole three paragraphs ago, but I’m not making this up. I wish I were.

Repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will literally cause World War III.
Hillary Clinton’s email server will literally cause World War III.
Moving the Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp from “threatened” to “endangered” will literally cause World War III.

You get the picture. If I had a dollar for every kid that mentioned The Bomb that day, I could have bought an actual nuclear bomb.

Six Degrees of Extinction

Now remember: Your congressmen, senators, presidents, political strategists, attorneys, and even investigative journalists probably went through debate classes as a child. This sprint-to-the-extreme mindset has been institutionalized for a long time. Is anyone surprised that all we ever see in public discourse are scare tactics and exaggeration?

It’s not debate, it’s the Nuclear Holocaust Kevin Bacon Game. Every one of those kids played the same angle: go from initial argument to the destruction of all mankind in as few steps as reasonably possible. Why? Because that’s what they’re taught to do.

The only difference between high school debate and what we see every election year are that the kids are forced to do exhaustive research before they open their mouths.

Captain Ebel’s Advice

Remember this lesson. Spread it far and wide.

Make it the piece of grit that irritates your brain whenever you read a political story on Facebook.

Remember what all these political assclowns running for office or writing op-ed pieces have been trained to do since they were 13 years old- scare you into believing the worst possible outcome.

And then… take a deep breath and walk it back a few steps. Remember that fear makes you easy to control, but facts make you powerful. If they’re not giving you any facts, all they’re doing is whining like a stressed-out teenager.

Political Absurdity Begins In Grade School

halioffirpine — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 15:20:52 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Some of you may be wondering how we got here.

With any luck, it’ll be the Teflon™ that keeps the hyperbole from sticking.

All Things Lead To The Bomb

No, seriously. That’s where every line of reasoning ended up. But here’s the part that you need to remember:

In most debate classes, they teach these kids to go straight for the “GNW” card (Global Nuclear War) so that their arguments will carry more weight.

I know, I just lamented hyperbole three paragraphs ago, but I’m not making this up. I wish I were.

Repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will literally cause World War III.
Hillary Clinton’s email server will literally cause World War III.
Moving the Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp from “threatened” to “endangered” will literally cause World War III.

You get the picture. If I had a dollar for every kid that mentioned The Bomb that day, I could have bought an actual nuclear bomb.

Six Degrees of Extinction

The only difference between high school debate and what we see every election year are that the kids are forced to do exhaustive research before they open their mouths.

General Ebel’s Advice

Remember this lesson. Spread it far and wide.

Make it the piece of grit that irritates your brain whenever you read a political story on Facebook.

Remember what all these political assclowns running for office or writing op-ed pieces have been trained to do since they were 13 years old- scare you into believing the worst possible outcome.

Political Absurdity Begins In Grade School

halioffirpine — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 15:12:01 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Some of you may be wondering how we got here.

With any luck, it’ll be the Teflon™ that keeps the hyperbole from sticking.

All Things Lead To The Bomb

No, seriously. That’s where every line of reasoning ended up. But here’s the part that you need to remember:

In most debate classes, they teach these kids to go straight for the “GNW” card (Global Nuclear War) so that their arguments will carry more weight.

I know, I just lamented hyperbole three paragraphs ago, but I’m not making this up. I wish I were.

Repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will literally cause World War III.
Hillary Clinton’s email server will literally cause World War III.
Moving the Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp from “threatened” to “endangered” will literally cause World War III.

You get the picture. If I had a dollar for every kid that mentioned The Bomb that day, I could have bought an actual nuclear bomb.

Six Degrees of Extinction

The only difference between high school debate and what we see every election year are that the kids are forced to do exhaustive research before they open their mouths.

General Ebel’s Advice

Remember what all these political assclowns running for office or analyzing on network news have been trained to do since they were 13 years old- scare you into believing anything they say.

Political Absurdity Begins In Grade School

halioffirpine — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 15:10:23 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Some of you may be wondering how we got here.

With any luck, it’ll be the Teflon™ that keeps the hyperbole from sticking.

All Things Lead To The Bomb

No, seriously. That’s where every line of reasoning ended up. But here’s the part that you need to remember:

In most debate classes, they teach these kids to go straight for the “we’re all gonna die” card so that their arguments will carry more weight. Thus, every goddamned argument leads to nuclear annihilation.

I know, I just lamented hyperbole three paragraphs ago, but I’m not making this up. I wish I were.

Repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will literally cause World War III.
Hillary Clinton’s email server will literally cause World War III.
Moving the Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp from “threatened” to “endangered” will literally cause World War III.

You get the picture. If I had a dollar for every kid that mentioned The Bomb that day, I could have bought an actual nuclear bomb.

Six Degrees of Extinction

The only difference between high school debate and what we see every election year are that the kids are forced to do exhaustive research before they open their mouths.

General Ebel’s Advice

Remember what all these political assclowns running for office or analyzing on network news have been trained to do since they were 13 years old- scare you into believing anything they say.

Political Absurdity Begins In Grade School

halioffirpine — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 15:08:47 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Some of you may be wondering how we got here.

With any luck, it’ll be the Teflon™ that keeps the hyperbole from sticking.

All Things Lead To The Bomb

A while back I had the “pleasure” of judging a high school debate tournament at Harvard. Spoiler alert: it was as near to a personal hell as I’d ever imagined. Imagine a parade of stressed-out teenagers explaining why everything from UAV’s to relaxing trade restrictions on China would lead to the extinction of all life on Earth.

No, seriously. That’s where every line of reasoning ended up. But here’s the part that you need to remember:

In most debate classes, they teach these kids to go straight for the “we’re all gonna die” card so that their arguments will carry more weight. Thus, every goddamned argument leads to nuclear annihilation.

I know, I just lamented hyperbole three paragraphs ago, but I’m not making this up. I wish I were.

Repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will literally cause World War III.
Hillary Clinton’s email server will literally cause World War III.
Moving the Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp from “threatened” to “endangered” will literally cause World War III.

You get the picture. If I had a dollar for every kid that mentioned The Bomb that day, I could have bought an actual nuclear bomb.

Six Degrees of Extinction

The only difference between high school debate and what we see every election year are that the kids are forced to do exhaustive research before they open their mouths.

General Ebel’s Advice

Remember what all these political assclowns running for office or analyzing on network news have been trained to do since they were 13 years old- scare you into believing anything they say.

Political Absurdity Begins In Grade School

halioffirpine — Wed, 23 Nov 2016 14:54:41 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

Some of you may be wondering how we got here.

With any luck, it’ll be the Teflon™ that keeps the hyperbole from sticking.

All Things Lead To The Bomb

A while back I had the “pleasure” of judging a high school debate tournament at Harvard. (I have to use quotes here, the way most people refer to Bob Dylan’s “singing”.) I spent that day in something near my own personal hell, listening to teenagers explain why everything from unmanned aerial drones to relaxing trade restrictions on China would lead to the extinction of all life on Earth.

No, seriously. That’s where every line of reasoning ended up.

You see, in debate classes, the kids are actually taught that the severity of the consequences helps prove their point. Thus, every goddamned argument leads to nuclear annihilation. I know, I just lamented hyperbole three paragraphs ago, but I’m not making this up. I wish I were. They teach these kids to go straight for the “we’re all gonna die” card so that their arguments will carry more weight.

Six Degrees of Extinction

Repealing “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” will literally cause World War III.
Hillary Clinton’s email server will literally cause World War III.
Moving the Vernal Pool Fairy Shrimp from “threatened” to “endangered” will literally cause World War III.

You get the picture. If I had a dollar for every kid that mentioned The Bomb that day, I could have bought an actual nuclear bomb.

Now ask yourself this: How many of your future congressmen, senators, presidents, political strategists, attorneys, and even investigative journalists went through debate classes as a child? With the way this sprint-to-the-extreme mindset is institutionalized, is anyone surprised that all we ever see in public discourse are scare tactics and exaggeration?

The only difference between high school debate and what we see every election year are that the kids are forced to do exhaustive research before they open their mouths.

General Ebel’s Advice

Remember what all these political assclowns running for office or analyzing on network news have been trained to do since they were 13 years old- scare you into believing anything they say.

The View Ahead

halioffirpine — Mon, 21 Nov 2016 23:56:12 GMT

Originally posted on my actual blog. If you want to comment, please comment there!

The following is a response I sent to a reporter from Billboard asking for comments on the future of the music industry. Don’t know if they’ll quote any of it, but here’s a slightly modified version of what I said.

I’m a full-time piano rocker (meaning I don’t play cover gigs, don’t have a day job, and don’t make my money selling books to beginning musicians). I’ve been quoted by Rolling Stone about services like Pandora before and I’ve been named an “Artist on the Verge” by the NMS. So when I talk about the music industry, it’s definitely from the lower rungs but at least I’ve got all four limbs on the fucking ladder.

As an artist growing up in the 90’s, the dream was to be picked up by a major label and “made famous”. It was the dream we were sold by the music machine of the 70’s and 80’s– that some Guy In A Suit™ would notice you at a seedy open-mic, hand you a contract, and you’d be opening for Billy Joel on a 120-date tour within the next two months. Maybe that happened in the past, but not any more. Not unless you’re Taylor Swift.

In my opinion, the labels will need to break up into small, cooperative niche organizations. Professional-grade album creation has become so accessible to guys like me that I have zero incentive to sign my rights away just to get a disc made. Shit, there’s barely any incentive left to have discs made at all. The only reason I have CD’s pressed is because, to date, no one has come up with a better music container that can be sold and autographed at live events. What am I going to do, sign an iPhone after a show?

(Wait, I’ve actually done that before… but it’s not what I’d call commonplace.)

How Are Artists Going To Make Money From Their Fans?

The same way any business makes money: by giving them what they need. Music is a performance art; it is theater. Even electronic, mashup, dubcrap, glitch core… all that stuff that’s just made with laptops instead of instruments still comes back to the same concept: Music transports a listener/viewer somewhere else for a short period of time. It’s escapism, just like movies or a good novel. Maybe you want to feel sexy… well, that club song is your aural lingerie. Maybe you want to feel important… that socially-activist protest song by that lesbian guitarist makes you feel like you’re changing something (and maybe, just maybe, it’ll inspire you to DO SO).

I’m a professional artist; I get paid to make the fans part of something bigger than their normal daily lives. The music alone cannot do that. It has to be a coordinated attack from all sides– the clothing, the videos, the way you communicate (do I start my emails with “Dear Friend” or “Valued Minion” or “Fellow Revolutionary”?)… This is how I make money from my fans. It’s how artists always made money from their fans. The big-haired glam rockers of the 80’s created an escapist world of partying, sex, and recklessness without consequence. It was a fiction, but in that respect the business hasn’t changed at all.

It’s just gotten harder for major corporations to own it.

Which Music Companies Will Change The Industry?

Simple: The businesses that make it easier for the artists to create their worlds. If you’ve got ten minutes, watch this session I gave at the State of Now Conference in NYC in 2012 (I’ve posted this on this blog before, but here it is again):

If you don’t have ten minutes, I’ll sum it up: Any business that saves me time and makes it easier for me to change the lives of my fans. CD Baby puts me in all the legitimate digital streaming sites except Pandora, all the major marketplaces, and even handles synch licensing now. That’s time I can spend working on tunes instead of paperwork. Hootsuite lets me update every one of my social profiles at the same time, rather than spending half an hour just re-posting the same new concert video. Artistdata (run by the oh-so-useless Sonicbids) puts my upcoming concert dates on local calendars so I don’t have to waste time visiting every local entertainment rag’s site. Patreon, now fairly ubiquitous, helps turn casual fans into paying subscribers (like my own Officer’s Club.)

The business that will succeed in the new Music Industry are the ones that facilitate the artist’s relationship with their fans. It will require them to focus less on plastering their name and their brand on everything and more on acting behind-the-scenes. It’s a difficult thing to do in an industry that is notorious for its colossal egos, but the businesses that let the artist shine without making them look like a NASCAR driver (covered in logos) will be the ones that attract real, working musicians like myself.