Welcome to the Machine

halafax — Sat, 06 Jul 2013 20:01:19 GMT

It never surprises me just how ignorant and selfish people can be. I understand that we all have lives and things happen. That's the nature of life. Constant flux on some level. But what gets me is how some people are so self entitled that they think they deserve everything and don't have to answer for anything they do. With all the things that are going on in my life a bit of understanding from someone who is supposed to be my friend is expected. Not a tantrum because u don't agree with them. You always find what people are worth and what they value. This isn't any different. Still my thoughts to my friend are pretty much fuck you you fucking fuck and I hope you die in a fire. Maybe that's harsh. But then again they did try really hard to burn down my apartment. So maybe not.
I'm closing that chapter of my life and cutting ties with that one. End of story. Call me cold hearted but its what needs to be done. I've got too much going on right now to deal with petty garbage. For all I know in the next week ill be out of the country dealing with lots of issues I have no idea how to approach. This should be interesting to say the least. Interesting and harrowing.

Smoke and mirrors

halafax — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:46:28 GMT

As much as one can be apathetic about thing there are situations that no matter how hard you try they cut you to the bone. Like a lash of a whip or the blade of the sharpest knife they cut deep and no matter how hard you try keep bleeding. Bind these wounds only prolongs the inevitable and then you start hurting. Then you start crying. Them you wonder if you will fly apart. Come apart at the seams. Still you hold on and still you try. Just how long til there is nothing left to hold to.

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Happy Halloween kids

halafax — Wed, 31 Oct 2012 18:12:03 GMT

What i have been working on

halafax — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 19:31:21 GMT

because I promised I would post these and because I love showing off my work. I always feel accomplished after finishing a project.

So what have I been working on the past two weeks. Take a gander under the cut. Im pretty happy with the outcome. Though I did learn a few things while making this bag. Also there is a reason I want 3 weeks lead time on a project.

Any how with out further ado...

Time and again

halafax — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 01:37:35 GMT

One day at a time I keep going. The distance varies. I can say that hurting like this and knowing that falling apart is not an option does not make this easier. I can say that I'm tired of empty words of people who think they understand what I'm dealing with. This grinds us all down. Everyone is showing their wear. We are all frayed at the edges. One day someone is going break down. I don't worry it' is going to be me.
Time and again we do this. Time and again we hold it together for another day.

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Bristol Palin you are so your mothers daughter

halafax — Sat, 12 May 2012 07:03:26 GMT

This article shows how Bristol Palin, like her mother loves to speak with out knowing what she is talking about. In this case she attacks the president for listening to his wife and children's input on social issues.

Then tries compare the president of allowing his family's input to sway his thoughts on same sex marriage. If you cant talk about things with your family there is a serious issues here. Also the reference she makes is completely invalid. This is some stupid hack using information she truly does not comprehend and applying it out of context.

here is a link:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/10/bristol-palin-gay-marriage-_n_1506286.html

Writer's Block: Didn't See That Coming

halafax — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:27:03 GMT

Fight club comes to mind, so does the usual suspects. The Sixth Sense. The Mist had an ending that I didnt expect. I read the book and I never would have thought they would end the movie that way. Deep Blue Sea's handling of Samuel L Jackon's motivational speech.

Writer's Block: Letters from Home

halafax — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 02:17:32 GMT

I think hand written letters are a lost art. I still write letters long hand because i think they are more personal. Though I have to take my time due to my hand writing being terrible. But I do put my heart into my letters. Emails are nice, but they are not the same. Like digital pictures, they can be deleted. Sending a letter the old fashioned way gives the person something of you from you.

Writer's Block: Life or Something Like It

halafax — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:15:57 GMT

My first love affected me deeply. It set a standard, and has never left me totally. Other relationships only reaffirm things I knew, and teach me new lessons about people, and what to expect. In the end I am a better person because I learned from it. If you go through life and did not learn from events in our lives we never get better. People who continue to make the same mistakes and play the same games are the ones that are never going to be happy.

Writer's Block: The Fifth Dimension

halafax — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 21:13:13 GMT

This is a bit of a toss up here. Either the Doctor who universe because so many things can happen. Aliens, time travel, adventure, and the Doctor.
The Dresedenverse (the world where the Dresden Files happens). Magic, fairies and monster. Being able to meet Chicagos only professional Wizard would be epic.

Writer's Block: Ides of March

halafax — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 14:53:33 GMT

Zombies rising, I am wary of that.

I am wary of office politics.

I am wary of a lot of things. I am paranoid and tend to take heed when it rears its head. Though some people would say I let it rule my life, which is untrue. I just keep an eye out for things.

Zombies is a big concern.

Writer's Block: Bookmarks

halafax — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:08:18 GMT

This is a bit of a loaded questions, I read a lot.

Feed and Dead Line by Mira Grant, zombie fiction at its best. People who are real enough they remind you of someone you might know.

World War Z and The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, Zombie Preparedness is just a must.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, great read and characters. A great read.

The Dresden Files by Jim Butcher, all of them. This is a fun series. I mean wizards are cool.

This list could go on a while. So I will stop here.

Writer's Block: Multiple Personalities

halafax — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 18:49:13 GMT

I think this could have been better worded, but what do I know.

There is the detective, the one that is always looking for clues as to what is happening.
The spy, the one that is always watching those around him, always collecting data and information, the one that keeps the enemies from the gate.
The mad scientist that sees the patterns in the chaos that is around this world
The artist who creates the things I do.
The scribe that records everything he sees and remembers all he writes.
The stoic brooding officer that handles crises as they come about.
The little boy that runs through the rooms in my head chasing a baby dragon, and revels in curiosity and finding new things.
The writer who constantly is writing a book that may never be finished.
The general that plans a head and surveys the battle field
The survivor who battles through all challenges that are set against him
The gentleman that is defined by his principles, and does not understand when other do not uphold theirs
The broken hearted teenager who listens to various musics and writes his thoughts in a journal that is his alone to read.

Those are facets of me, but by no means all of me.

Writer's Block: TMI

halafax — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 14:55:15 GMT

The strangest thing I have ever had confessed to me?

Thats a tough one, considering I have had some weird things told to me over the years.

I would say its a toss up between these:

Someone once told me they tossed their bfs salad as a surprise.

Someone once told me about their fetish for my little ponies. At that point I asked if they meant obsession, she said no fetish. She said she cant get off in the bed room if her my little ponies are not watching. She takes at least one when she goes to anothers house.

When I worked at a convenience store I had some strange customers, it was in red neckville usa, so that did not help, but I had one of the girls that came through the store on a regular basis tell me she got pregnant so she could keep her bf

I had another guy confess to me that if his daughter was not his daughter he would be chasing after her.

Thats all I can think of off the top of my head.

halafax — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 15:31:14 GMT

I have had a few.

A little back story to this one. I was born in the states. I am an arab kid. Parents immigrated here many moons ago. I speak english just fine.

"How did you learn to speak English so well? You dont even have an accent"

"I was born here?"

"But you dont have an accent"

"Because I was born and raised here, I went to school with the rest of the kids in my neighborhood"

"Oh, well I thought you would have an accent because of where you are from"

*walks away*

strikes pose

halafax — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 15:38:27 GMT

I win!

Thats all the she wrote kids. As of now I am done with my masters degree. My last class posted the grades, and I am done!

YAY! *does happy dance*

Now the question of where to go from here looms slightly. I want to get into teaching, but I am at a loss where to look or how to go about looking. Most places want experience, and such...well how does one get experience if they wont let you start? Stupid people who will not let me teach..well I will figure something out soon enough.

One more thing I managed to accomplish, and realize just how damned spiffy I am...

So with out further adieu I bring you my school theme song and at least one animated gif from a fighting game or two in win poses.

Writer's Block: Singles Awareness Day

halafax — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:32:18 GMT

I love Valentine's day. No matter if I am with someone or single. I always let the people i know love them on this day. Not that I do not do that on a regular basis, but Valentine's day gives me the excuse to get people things and they cannot argue. People who argue that its too commercialized have forgotten that Valentine's day is about what you make of it. Not mass media, not big companies, you. I am not reminded that I am single on this day, I am reminded that I am loved.

To all my friends on her, Happy Valentines Day.

Writer's Block: The Meaning of Life

halafax — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 19:18:46 GMT

An adventure in emotion, experience, of give and take, loving and lost lost, of learning and a quest for beauty in this world.

Writer's Block: Party of Five

halafax — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:08:48 GMT

Well this should be interesting.

This list would be way longer than 4 if I put my mind to it.

Dead people: Ghandi, Yassir Arafat, Marilyn Monroe, Joan or Arc, Charlemagne, Zaladine, Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth, My dads dad, and my moms dad
Living People: James O'Barr, Brandon Lee, Chow Yun Fat, Cher, Muhammad Ali, Bruce Lee, Jim Butcher, Madonna

Ill stop here...

Writer's Block: Opposite Day

halafax — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:43:52 GMT

What is my opposite? Someone who lies with the purpose of personal gain. Someone who has no integrity, so honor, or dignity. Someone who cant keep their word. Someone who is selfish. Someone who does not have empathy for others.Someone who does not have a measure of themselves. Knowing their merits and flaws. A person who does not understand beauty in all its forms. A person who lacks drive and initiative.

A person who is totally my opposite?

I do not think Ive met the bizarro version of me. If I had to pick someone Id say one of those famous people who think the world does not apply to them. On the same line of thought, Id say a spoiled rich kid who has no regard for anything or anyone.

Three classes left

halafax — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 23:09:43 GMT

I am now down to 3 classes in my masters degree. This past term was not a fun one. I managed to get out of the term with another A. Go me. So with out further adieu I bring you my school theme:

Four Months

halafax — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 17:55:28 GMT

Its been four months, since I began dating Christine, and Im left speechless by her. I spend my days and night thinking of her. Her and I have a bond that Ive honestly never thought Id find in this life. It has been an eye opening experience. We trust each other with everything. We work to make this relationship work. Being in a LDR is not the easiest thing, but you cannot help who you fall in love with. Christine stole my heart when she sent me pictures of her as she opened a box of something I sent her. Her reaction was just beautiful. She tells me she has never met anyone like me. I typically blush and blame it on falling a lot as a kid. Which is partially true. Her and I both have the same issue, we are ourselves all the time. When most people start dating they put on their best face. I dont have a best face, I missed that day in crafts class, so did she. We are who we are and nothing else. If you ask anyone who has met me in real life off the net they will tell you I am just as I am on the net, although there is way less cake throwing, and other cartoony things, I am me and only me, so is she. We both say we do not know how to be anyone else other than ourselves.
It says a lot about two people when the thought of not being able to hear each others voices is not a comfortable thought. Christine went on a vacation with her family, and due to not having any real privacy could not talk. So we spent the entirety of her trip texting back and forth. I like being able to communicate with her, and texting is great for that, but the sound of her voice makes me happy. A lot, a lot a lot. We did our respective NYE endeavors, but still we kept texting. She said somethings that made me very happy that night.
Her and I have shared a lot of details about our pasts to one another. We have told each other things we have never told other people, or we have, but no one understood what we were saying. Its sad when you realize the number of people in this world who never really listen anymore. They are just waiting for their turn to talk. She listens, we listen to each other.
Her and I have been planning to meet in real life for about two months. Trying to figure out when would be a good time. We finally came up with dates, confirmed all is ago, and I am going to go visit her at the end of this month. I will be there for 2 weeks. God help me Im so stoked I could pop, and Im so nervous I could totally run and hide.
Last year was a rough year for me, and I had a lot of things turn to ask for whatever reasons. I had managed to really turn into a bit of recluse. Id stopped really wanting anything to do with people outside Xbox Live. After having a long talk with a friend, I got out of that, but it wasnt until I started talking to Christine again that I realized how much I was missing in my life. She is the best thing to happen to me. Her and I are working on make this work long run, to go the distance. I want that, I want a future with this woman. Come hell or high water we both will do all in our power to be together. I love her with all my heart, and I look forward to this upcoming month, and the many more after.
Her and I see each other for what we are. We do not hide behind preconceived notions, or misnomers, we have and always will be truthful to each other. We are real to one another, and we have shown each other what we are, stripped to the bone, and we have not shied away from what we saw. I love her for that, I love her for her wanting me as I am, not what she wants me to be.
I love you Christine.

Three months

halafax — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 02:31:07 GMT

So three months has past. A wonderful three months. How is it I find someone who lives on the other side of the country that calls to me like this? Someone who knows my moods, and what Im thinking, but never has held my hand? How is that she I find someone who sees what I see in this world and never shared a cup of coffee with her? I sometimes think its fate being cruel as always. But we have each other. Even as things are we are both happier than we have been in a long long time.
We have no secrets, there are no masks. Its just her and me. This is something that I do not believe I will encounter again in my life. I am not making something out of nothing. I am not trying to make something of something else. We are in love. We have both been hurt before. We both have our ghosts and skeletons in our closets. But that does not stop us from building this relationship from the ground up. We have a foundation that we improve on, we continue to build from there. We do not know what the future holds, but we know we want to be with one another through it. Does this mean marriage and kids? Only God knows that, and God is not telling. The future is something we will never truly know, but we can choose who are companions are when we go there. I want her with me. I want her by my side. She is my dearest friend. She is so much more than that.
She makes this world seem more that it was before. Brighter, more alive. She is a treasure to be coveted and cherished.

She says I make her feel like diamonds. I tell her she makes me feel beautiful. This song reminds me of her.

Happy Anniversary Liebchen

halafax — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:19:47 GMT

Happy anniversary Liebchen.

You make me so happy, and I love you so much.

You totally amaze me more and more every day. I thank heavens every day for you.

I never know what to say sometimes, I try, but I never feel its enough.

Whatever the future brings, we can face together.

From the bottom of my heart, I love you.

"I want you to lead me
Take me somewhere
Don’t want to live in a dream one more day

I want you to lead me
Take me somewhere
Don’t want to live in a dream one more day"

I can it enough to her, nor can I express it in words that give her justice. I try, I really do, but I never feel I am doing it right.
Anyone who has seen me, or talked to me in the past few months have noticed a change in me, something that wasnt there before. Its because of her that I am where I am. She does that to me. I cant even explain how it is she makes me feel. But I know what I would do for her. I know she is a woman that I would do whatever needed to be done for her. To quote a movie: "She is a woman worth fighting for, worth dying for, worth going to hell for"

*sighs happily*

#1 Crush gives a good idea of how she makes me feel, and what I would do for her.

Remember The Fifth of November

halafax — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 06:12:14 GMT

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up the King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd (or by God's mercy*)
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holla boys, Holla boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!
And what should we do with him? Burn him!