Date Everything!
Developer: Sassy Chap Games
Platforms: Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 5, Xbox Series X and Series S, GeForce Now, Microsoft Windows
Publishers: Sassy Chap Games, Team17
Release window: June 2025
Special thanks to Team17 and Press Engine for a PS5 review key
Intro:
Date Everything! Starts by having the player begin their job as a customer service rep. However, through a sequence of events, your job is put on a “freeze” and you are given the ability to date. Date Everything! Turns the dating-sim genre on its head by inviting you to woo LITERALLY anything in your home. That is basically the core premise and story of the game. It is simple yet effective. However, for something so simple, how is the gameplay? Let’s take a look.
Gameplay:
The game runs smoothly in first-person, letting you wander through each room and “date” objects or concepts using your Dateviator glasses. You get five conversation charges per in-game day, and every chat you initiate, whether with a toaster, a lamp, or even an abstract idea, earns you relationship milestones. Those milestones grant you points in four “SPEC” stats (Smarts, Sass, Charm, etc.), which unlock fresh dialogue and eventually lead to different endings: friendship, love, or outright hatred.
The core loop of exploring your house, spotting a new potential date, and engaging in playful banter is surprisingly addictive. There is humor, and the conversation feels like a natural conversation. If you enjoy goofy premises and meta‑jokes, this is your jam. The humor lands most of the time, thanks in large part to the cast’s infectious enthusiasm that takes it to the next level. If you’re not a fan of crass or over‑the‑top gags, some lines may miss the mark, but overall, the laughs come fast and often. That said, certain mini‑quests and time‑locked events, where a character only appears at a specific hour or place, can sometimes feel a bit like busywork. However, this can be seen as a replayability option if missed the first time around. It depends on the player from this perspective.
Date Everything! Leans into absurdity with an upbeat, self‑aware script. The dialogue is packed with puns and snarky asides. Many conversations strike a nice balance between silliness and sincerity, touching on surprisingly relatable themes like anxiety or heartbreak, but always with a wink. On occasion, however, the sheer volume of characters means that some storylines feel rushed, and choices often boil down to being either “nice” or “rude” without much subtlety. Still, the heart shines through in the best arcs, and the game’s playful attitude makes even its rougher edges enjoyable.
Every dateable, over a hundred in total, has its personality inspired by its mundane origins. A laundry hamper and a pile of dirty clothes bicker like an old married couple, while an air fryer preaches its gospel. You’ll work through multiple chats to earn enough rapport for one of three routes: Love, Friendship, or Hate. Hating someone on your first playthrough even unlocks a secret new character, adding a fun twist. Though some romances feel more fleshed‑out than others, the sheer variety means you’re bound to find at least a handful of truly memorable encounters.
Visual and Audio:
The game’s cartoony 3D environments are bright and welcoming, and the anime‑inspired character portraits brim with personality. It may seem like a visual novel in this regard, but it works with this game and equally brings it to life. Every role is fully voiced by a talented cast who relish the material, bringing energy to each quirky persona. The voice acting team took their time to put so much love into their craft that each delivery of their lines works well. Did you, for some reason, want to have Ben Starr be a door and talk to you? WELL, wish granted! Do you want Felicia Day to be your Dateviators? Well, wish granted!
The soundtrack is equally varied, matching each date’s vibe, smooth jazz for a bathtub convo, techno beats for the breaker box’s nightclub. DualSense haptics add light feedback when you “love beam” an object, further drawing you into the fun. This is something I did not initially notice, but when I was playing at night, I saw it and was even more amused by it.
Replayability
With 102 characters and three distinct endings apiece, Date Everything! is a content buffet. A completionist playthrough can easily top 40 hours, and New Game+ lets you carry over your stats to speed through favorites. However, repeated dialogues without a skip feature can feel tedious if you’re revisiting the same chats. Most players will happily focus on their top picks, but those craving every pun and path will find plenty to keep them busy.
Wrap-up:
Date Everything! is an offbeat delight. Its greatest strength lies in its imaginative cast, heartfelt voice performances, and willingness to embrace the ridiculous. The humor and charm carry you through any thin story moments, and the massive roster ensures you’ll always find someone (or something) worth chatting up. While it is not a triple-A title and probably won’t get the recognition that it deserves, Date Everything! is fantastic in its own right. This is a game I would recommend to anyone seeking silly fun, which is brought to life by its wonderful writing and fantastic cast.
Until next time, mgs2master2 out!
Score: 8/10 – Highly recommended for anyone seeking a fresh, funny twist on the dating‑sim formula.