A quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore

Starhyke, you must be joking . . . .hopefully

groc — Thu, 01 Apr 2004 16:04:33 GMT

Living in the States I often fail to hear about the latest TV news back in the UK.

Sometimes this is a good thing.

A new TV series: ‘Starhyke’ is described as: “A roller coaster ride of raunchy fun and frolics” and “a totally new style of science fiction in the same vein as such spoofs as Airplane or Police Squad”

Does anyone else think that they are trying a little too hard?

Set 3000 years in the future; humans have become emotionless drones who kill without a conscience but a group of aliens are coming to the rescue by creating a weapon that will re-awaken our emotions.

In the heat of battle an alien ship creates a temporal vortex that takes them back to the 21st century but they are followed by an Earth ship under the command of Captain Blowhard (Claudia Christian) The alien ship is destroyed but not before Capt. Blowhard and her crew are infected by the alien’s ‘emotion bomb’

I reserve judgment until I have seen the show but the pre-publicity is just PAINFULL!

Jay and silent Bob: the next adventure!

groc — Wed, 31 Mar 2004 09:36:05 GMT

I’m sure that most people already knew that Kevin Smith(silent Bob) and Jason Mewes(Jay) had been living together for the past six months.

What I didn’t know was that Kevin is, in fact, the profane ‘potty-mouthed’ Jay and Jason is almost as silent as Bob.

Their visit to the Wizard convention was characterized by a string of sexually explicit anecdotes which were liberally sprinkled with drug humor and had the audience in a state of continuous laughter.

Kevin Smith has the knack of sizing up an audience within a few brief minutes and finding the lowest (but funniest) common denominator. It was without doubt the high point of the entire weekend!

The best news was that Jason has been clean and sober for nearly a year and that Kevin had promised to right another Jay and silent Bob film if Mewes was successful.

The timescale for the new film has not yet been confirmed as he is working on two other projects (including The Green Hornet) but he will be completing a draft script shortly.

Pitch Black: the sequel

groc — Sat, 27 Mar 2004 17:45:30 GMT

I must confess that I would never have expected to see Dame Judi Dench in the sequel to Pitch Black: The Chronicles of Riddick.

I know that a lot of people liked the original film (Claudia Black certainly added to my interest!) so it should come as no surprise that the powers that be would want to bring back Vin Diesel to reprise his role.

It’s just that the whole style of the film, as seen on the trailer, seems completely different from the first. One would hardly know that they were related.

It all looks interesting in a cheesy-weird sort of way so I, as a cheesy-weird sort of chap, will probably go and see it.

In my next post:
Revelations from the Kevin Smith interview and why Jay isn’t really a stoner!

Babylon 5

groc — Fri, 12 Mar 2004 17:59:01 GMT

Bridie and I have been watching old episodes of Babylon 5 from season one onwards, so it comes as a very pleasant surprise to hear that JMS, the show's creator has mentioned recently that he has been working on a new show set in the B5 universe.

The last report was that everything has been given a 'go' and we could be looking at a whole new series. (Groc keeping his fingers firmly crossed)

Birthday alert!

groc — Mon, 08 Mar 2004 07:17:26 GMT

Happy Birthday to young Minitrog. 18 today! (but by the time you get home you would probably have had 25 or 26)

Firefly the movie . . .at last!!!

groc — Sat, 06 Mar 2004 09:41:24 GMT

Well chums it looks like they have finally given the green light to Joss Whedon's Firefly movie which will be called . . . Serenity

Filming is planned to start in June and will have all of the old cast that we have come to know, love and slash.

The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

groc — Thu, 15 Jan 2004 15:52:32 GMT

I know that 2005 seems a long way off but I am really looking forward to seeing how they handle the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy film.

Bill Nighy as Slartibartfast is an interesting choice as I can only see him as an aging rocker after watching ‘Still Crazy’ and ‘Love Actually”. Maybe they could get Hotblack Desiato and the gang from ‘Disaster Area’ to join him for a gig?

(N.B. I am referring to Hotblack Desiato the musician and not the estate agent in Camden Town)

Martin Freeman is penciled in for the role of Arthur Dent after his time in “The Office” as Tim and Stephen Moore comes back as Marvin (thank goodness!)

Firefly . . . the naked truth

groc — Fri, 09 Jan 2004 09:58:18 GMT

The big question that has been troubling the whole household is . . . . What is the tattoo on Nathan Fillon’s upper thigh?

When attending the LA Comic and Sci-fi Convention last month he said that it was an ancient Chinese symbol which translates as “Property of Gina Torres”

I think that it looks more like a squashed beetle with a severe hemorrhoid problem. Which is exactly what I said to Bridie when she caught me using the zoon function on the DVD to get a close look at Nathan’s naked bottom (though I think that we would have both preferred to see Gina Torres’!)

So, if anyone thinks that they know what it is, TELL US, WE MUST KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, 'imdb' has the Firefly film listed as being in pre-production and Joss said that ALL of the original cast want to be in the film! :)

Naked Groc!!!!!

groc — Wed, 07 Jan 2004 09:16:20 GMT

I was shocked to see that nude pictures of me have been posted on Bridie’s LJ.

I won’t say which pictures, linked to her latest post, are of me (I’ll let you all guess about that one) but in my defense I must say that, back then, I was young, naive and just wanted to get into show business. It happened when this man called Butch came along and offered me a big part if I did some ‘modeling’ for him and the rest is history!!!

I urge anyone seeing this post not to read Bridie’s LJ or look at the nudie pictures!

Big Fish

groc — Mon, 05 Jan 2004 21:21:04 GMT

Took a trip down to the cinematograph and watched Tim Burton’s latest effort ‘Big Fish’

There were many elements that have become synonymous with Tim’s efforts but for some reason this film didn’t feel like one of his, despite their inclusion.

Big Fish is a pleasant little film designed to tug upon the heart strings and containing the wealth of mythic qualities that Tim can weave so well into a story but my mind kept drifting back to the halcyon days of Frankenweenie (yes, I am a secret Shelley Duvall fan!)

All I can say is, take along a box of tissues and watch out for Rufus Wainwright’s dad, Loudon, to make an appearance (Rufus has still to achieve his father’s poetic stature as in the song: ‘Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road’ but he has youth on his side)

Apocalypse now-ish

groc — Sun, 04 Jan 2004 18:40:40 GMT

You may recall dear reader that ‘once upon a time’ a simple Englishman traveled across the great ocean to be with the one he loved, Bridie.

In the space of just a few months he faced fire, flood, earthquake and Arnold Schwarzeneggar becoming Governor of California.

Despite the fury of Mother Nature and the vagaries of the electorate, love triumphed and the two LJ-ers continue to live happily ever after, suffused with the magic of newly wedded bliss.

I have promised young Minitrog to try and post a little more often from now on. I know that it’s been a long time since my last post but heck, I just got married and have been busy doing marriage type things. (handcuffs and lube optional)

To quote Sheriff Bart from Blazing Saddles

“So what’s happening in the clean world?”

Answers on a postcard to . . . . .

Call me Mr. Bridie

groc — Fri, 05 Sep 2003 08:22:00 GMT

Some people may be wondering why I haven’t been posting recently, well, I’ve been a little busy sorting out a few things in London and then moving to the States.

Oh yes, I also managed to ensnare Bridie, the most wonderful young lady on the face of the earth and she finally made an honest man of me . . . . . we got married!!!

So I guess you all have to call me ‘Mr. Bridie’ from now on!

Firefly latest . . .more or less

groc — Fri, 05 Sep 2003 08:12:16 GMT

I hear that Joss Whedon has just signed a deal with Universal to make a ‘Firefly’ feature film and will be starting production in 2004. So I guess we’ll have a chance to buy the DVD and watch all of the extras before the film is released.

The truth will out!

groc — Sun, 10 Aug 2003 03:36:44 GMT

Gacked from Spasticat

I am 83% Evil Genius

I am pure evil. I lie awake at night devising schemes of world domination, and I will not rest until all living souls bend to my will.

Take the Evil Genius Test at fuali.com

Heh, heh, heh.

And by the way.

We're having a heat-wave, a tropical heat-wave . . . .

It's so hot; you can fry eggs on the refrigerator and although the weather experts say it’s going to cool down, it just keeps getting hotter and more humid.

I’m melting!!!!! Oh, what a world, what a world . . . .

On a lighter note, I’ve just cleared out some old books, which took six trips with an overloaded wheeled basket to complete . . . and the house still doesn’t look any tidier!!!!!

Firefly and such

groc — Fri, 18 Jul 2003 14:12:51 GMT

Am I the last one to hear about the Firefly film that Joss is writing or that the DVD's of the series (including the three unaired episodes)are supposed to be coming out later this year?

Oh, I am . . . .okay. . er . . um . . .okay.

So, I'll take a quiz gacked from crazycrone

You are Percy Bysshe Shelley! Famous for your
dreamy abstraction and your quirky verse,
you're the model "sensitive poet." A
vegetarian socialist with great personal charm
and a definite way with the love poem, you
remain an idol for female readers. There are
dozens of cute anecdotes about you, and I love
you.

Which Major Romantic Poet Would You Be (if You Were a Major Romantic Poet)?
brought to you by Quizilla

Birthday Girl

groc — Tue, 15 Jul 2003 01:02:38 GMT

The most wonderful woman in the world celebrates her birthday today (even though I get to celebrate it eight hours before she does!)

So, in honour of this fair maid, may I say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY bridie !!!!!!!!!

I promise you a veritable cornucopia of cuddles and mountains of love!

Keep yourself safe for my return and get well VERY soon.

. . . . .boot heels to be wondering.

groc — Fri, 20 Jun 2003 18:28:16 GMT

I have had such a marvelous time that words can't describe the . .er . .thingy doobry whatsit . . oh you know.

In the past, LA held a very special place in my heart for a couple of reasons (Mouse and Bridie) but now it feels more like home than I could ever have thought possible.

I will be packing my bits and pieces tonight (after devouring some more ice cream and Twinkies) but tomorrow will find me winging my way back to Blighty.

As soon as I wake up from the jet-lag I promise to post the details of my adventures in wonderland.

Until then, I'm praying for a smooth flight and some salve for the rope burns.

Dateline - Los Angeles . . . . . .

groc — Mon, 09 Jun 2003 20:07:43 GMT

I have braved the great divide and am finally in the home of the hamburger (they even have McDonald's over here!)

The wonderful Bridie has taken into her home despite the rumors of my toenail bitting activities (all true, by the way)

Bridie has given me such a tremendously warm welcome that I felt that I should to read some of her stories on the Bound by Blood web site . . . .

Most of these stories seem to have a particular theme and this has prompted me to ask her repeatedly if she would mind tying me up (just to see if the tales are realistic) thus far I have been unsuccessful . . . but I think that she is weakening!

New meme-ing

groc — Tue, 27 May 2003 05:20:39 GMT

General Stuff

Spell your first name backwards? – Corg son of Dlanor.

The story behind your lj user name? – Quite simply, my initials – Also the name of a famous French clown (almost)

Are you a lesbian? – I wish!!!.

Where do you live? – London Ontario oops sorry, I mean England

How many people have you blown that you then didn't fuck? – 2 but it reminds me of the joke regarding a disappointed Jim Morrison fan, who had to “just blow the bloody doors off” (sorry, that was a film reference to “The Italian Job” made in ’69)

Describe your

CD in stereo right now? – Warring 40’s - Songs from WW2

Tattoos? – I have been told I’ll be getting one soon but it won’t be for public display

Piercings? – Only by cupid’s arrow

What you are wearing now? – White shirt Black trousers, grey tie – the Groc uniform!

Cologne/Perfume? – Joop

Hair? – Pretty much everywhere, except on my head

Who or What (was/is/are)

In my mouth? – The taste of fishsticks

In my heart? – Friends, family and Bridie – she who must be obeyed (H Ryder Haggard had the right idea)

The most important thing on my hard drive? – My pet whale, Moby

The most important thing on the web? – My friend’s web sites closely followed by the internet movie database and the TV episode guide..

Three of your favorite movies? – Treaure of the Seirra Madre,(Badges, we don’t need no stinking badges!) Princess Bride (As you wish . . . . ) and Buckaroo Banzai (It’s not my damn planet . . . . monkey boy!)

The last thing you ate? – Fisfinger, tomato and fruity sauce rolls

Your favourite sandwich? – Sausage, tomato and egg with mayo on granary bread

What do you want done with your body when you die? – Shot into space, to fall as a shooting star and elicit cries of joy and awe from the world below

Who is your worst enemy? – Hanoi Xan (see favourite films)

Ever been to Belgium? – No but the chocolates are very nice

Ever been to Belize? – No, because they don’t have Belgian chocolates.

Can you eat with chopsticks? – With great fun and mess!

What are 5 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to? – Long Beach is all I can think of right now.

What's something that you wish people would understand? – That the wave/particle duality of light is a product of the quantum interactions related to Heisenburg’s uncertainty principle when an observer performs an experiment to investigate the nature of a photonic wave packet.

What is something you're pretty sure you don't understand? – Knitting.

3 most obscure fic kinks? – Nothing is kinky between consenting adults and willing farm animals.

The genre character you would sell your beloved to fuck? – If you combined Xena, Leela and Scully together, they still wouldn’t be good enough to shine my beloved’s kitchen linoleum. (but I’d have fun watching them try!)

Preying for the sentinel

groc — Fri, 02 May 2003 10:58:47 GMT

In Britain we tend to be the last people to get latest ‘cult’ shows, sometimes waiting for years before the really juicy (for this, read slash-able) programmes reach our shores.

So it’s good to hear that Sentinel is finally making its way onto the UK’s Sci-Fi channel next month and will be joined by Firefly, the space cowboy epic from Joss Whedon.

Birds Of Prey, a different take on the Batman saga, will also hit the screens on CNX in May.

By the way, apparently the remake of Battlestar Galactica involves Starbuck undergoing a sex change, as the role will now be played by a young lady, Katee Sackhoff. I wonder if they will keep Starbuck’s cigar smoking, womanising characteristics intact . . . .If they do, they’ll be guaranteed an audience, well, me anyway.

Meme-ing of life part two. (the cut tag, I hope)

groc — Mon, 28 Apr 2003 10:33:33 GMT

// series 1 - you

---> Name: groc
---> Birthdate: 30th June
---> Current Location: London, England
---> Hair Colour: turning grey
---> Righty or Lefty: Righty
---> Zodiac Sign: Cancer
---> Innie or Outtie: Innie

// series two - describe

---> The shoes you wore today: black slip-ons
---> Your hair: Short
---> Your eyes: blue/grey
---> Your weakness: Bridie
---> Your fears: Heights, not having enough snuggles
---> Your perfect pizza: Anything with lots of meat (I’m an ANIMAL!)

// series three - what is

---> Your most overused phrase on aol\aim: I’m sorry I type so slowly
---> Your thoughts first waking up: Mmmmmm fish sticks!
---> The first feature you notice in the opposite (or same) sex: eyes
---> Your best physical features: Lips
---> Your usual bedtime: 11.30 p.m.
---> Your greatest accomplishment: Giving up chewing my toenails
---> Your best memory: An e-mail I received at the end of February this year.

// series four - do you

---> Smoke: nope
---> Cuss: Only when required or at moments of heightened passion!
---> Sing well: A baritone voice that scares the goldfish!
---> Take a shower everyday: Yes or stand naked on the roof when it's raining
---> Like high school: Bad school, dull as ditchwater
---> Type with your fingers on the right keys: never!
---> Believe in yourself: I try to understand myself, rather than believe in myself
---> Get motion sickness: Sometimes
---> Think you're attractive: Only when viewed through another’s eyes
---> Think you're a health freak: Me, a health freak, Heh, heh, heh yeah right!
---> Get along with your parents: They are wonderful to put up with me!
---> Like thunderstorms: Oh, yes!
---> Play an instrument: used to play the trumpet

// series five - in the past month, did/have you

---> Drank alcohol: nope
---> Smoked: nope
---> Done a drug: nope – (Does chocolate count?)
---> Made Out: nope
---> Go on a date: nope
---> Go to the mall: nope
---> Been on stage: nope
---> Been dumped: nope
---> Gone skating: nope
---> Made home-made cookies: nope
---> Been in love: Oh, yes!
---> Gone skinny dipping: nope
---> Dyed your hair: nope
---> Stolen anything: nope

// series six - have you ever?

---> Played a game that required removal of clothing: nope, damn!
---> Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope
---> Been caught "doing something": nope
---> Been called a tease: yes
---> Gotten beaten up: nope
---> Shoplifted: nope
---> If so, did you get caught: n/a
---> Changed who you were to fit in: I was something of a social chameleon in my younger days

// series seven - the future

---> Age you hope to be married: 21st century
---> Numbers and Names of Children: 'Moby' is like a son to me
---> Describe your Dream Wedding: Family, friends and chocolate licked from the lips of my true love
---> What age do you want to die: two years older than god
---> What do you want to be when you grow up: ‘Grow up’? sorry I don’t know what that is
---> What country would you most like to visit: USA
---> Current Clothes: Black trousers, white shirt
---> Current Mood: hopeful
---> Current Taste: raspberry flapjack
---> Current Hair: disappearing rapidly
---> Current Annoyance: distance
---> Current Smell: My pet whale, Moby
---> Current thing you ought to be doing: ruling the world
---> Current Desktop Picture: Saturn and some web cam caps
---> Current Favorite Group: The ranters
---> Current DVD In Player: The Princess Bride
---> Current Worry: that I’m not good enough

Spike TV

groc — Thu, 17 Apr 2003 05:53:29 GMT

A new TV station is starting up in the States called Spike TV but before anyone starts salivating, it has nothing to do with a certain bleach blond ‘torso-boy’

The Nashville Network, (currently The National Network) an erstwhile country music station, has decided to boost its popularity by changing the orientation of its programming to increase the proportion of the male members of the audience by screening more Wrestling and ‘Slam ball’ (a cross between basketball and trampolining)

So, look out for lots of men is tight shorts getting hot and sweaty together.
Maybe there might be some people salivating after all.

Who long for rest, who long for pleasure . . . . .

groc — Sun, 06 Apr 2003 06:31:44 GMT

A strange and wondrous few months, busy but deeply rewarding, so now I look to the summer holidays for a little R & R.

After young Minitrog sang the highest possible praises of the warm welcome she received on her trip to LA. I have been offered a place to rest my weary bones, should I decide to stray across the ocean.

So if Bridiefemme can put up with my unusual habits (I only chew my toenails when I’m nervous, honest) I will be venturing Eastward in June.

First time in the USA, So I’m a little nervous but what the hell!

*sound of toenails being chewed*

The meming of life!

groc — Sat, 22 Mar 2003 14:39:35 GMT

Gacked from minitrog

1. Shakespeare

2. Louise Brooks

3. Cyberskin

4. Sondheim

5. Film Noir

6. See-through teddies grrrr!

7. Science

8. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre

9. Ani DiFranco

10. Star Trek

Out-takes

American Civil War
Wierd Al
Germaine Greer
Entertaining minitrog
Juliet Stephensen
Kevin Sorbo (Not *all* of these are sexualised choices)

It's Minitrog Day!!!

groc — Sat, 08 Mar 2003 01:48:33 GMT

I have not posted for a while because I have been as busy as a one legged man in a botty kicking contest but I could not let this day go by without saying:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MINITROG!!!!!!!

You are the most troglicious person to ever grace these shores

And I wish you mountains of love and hugs on your birthday.

Yay Minitrog!!!