My mind, and the places it goes

Welcome to Boston, Students! (An Annual Open Letter)*

gnomi — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 02:25:37 GMT

So, it's that time of year, when the students return (like swallows to Capistrano) to Boston. And thus it is time for yet another "gnomi explains it all" post. Not that any of the people this post is directed toward will actually see it, but it'll make me feel better.

1. You see that thing in front of you? It's a Really Big Street. Running across it while those fast-moving things (we call them "cars") are barrelling down at you will hurt you more than it will hurt the cars.

2. Moving trucks, while useful, should not completely block any of the following: driveways, sidewalks, crosswalks, intersections. We know you have to move your stuff. However, some of us have to live here, too.

3. Speaking of crosswalks, please learn how to use them. No, really. They're not there purely for the amusement of line painters.

4. Ah, the T. Yes, it's a subway system. Yes, it gets you and your obnoxious friends from place to place. But it is not solely yours. The other commuters might want to be able to, say, read their newspapers free of your loud, obscene comments at 7:15 in the morning. Or even at 5:30 at night.

5. Also, you see those big signs in the T stations that say "There is no smoking permitted on MBTA property?" Those do apply to you. And they apply regardless of what you're choosing to smoke. I'm just saying.

6. We know you're eager to get on the train. But you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends are just making it harder for everyone if you're blocking the door, keeping those of us in the train from getting out. This also applies to people blocking the doors when inside the train; if you move out of the doorway, people will be able to get off the train and you will get to your destination faster.

7. While we're talking trains and etiquette, let's tackle getting to and from those trains. You see the escalator? It comfortably accommodates two people per stair. But here's the deal. Stay to the right if you want to stand and let the moving stairs propel you upwards. Stay to the left if you wish to walk up the stairs. This is established local tradition, and there's no need for the commuters to have to slalom purely because you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends can't be bothered to notice all the people standing to the right of the stairs.

8. Bicycles are great. We're all for them. In fact, we have bike lanes on some of our major streets. Please, however, pay attention to the following important fact: Bicycles are subject to the same laws as the cars if you're riding on the street (which, for the most part, you should be; many municipalities have laws against riding on sidewalks). This means that you have to stop when the light is red and allow the pedestrians to walk. This does not mean that you should barrel through the crosswalk and curse out the pedestrians who have the gumption to get into the crosswalk when you want to be there (despite the fact that they, not you, have the light).

So, welcome to Boston. Keeping these things in mind will make your life much simpler and will also prevent me from thwacking you with my elbow as I strive to get to or from work.

Thank you,
The management.

*Or, whenever I remember to post it or am reminded to post it.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 16:12:37 GMT

In today's The Brookline Parent column, mabfan discusses Muffin's night terrors and the impact it has been having on us all.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 07 Nov 2014 17:03:50 GMT

In this week's The Brookline Parent, I write about how mabfan and I try to find some downtime with the girls in our busy lives.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 24 Oct 2014 15:07:31 GMT

In the new The Brookline Parent column, mabfan discusses the funny things that Muffin and Squeaker say.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Wed, 15 Oct 2014 18:51:30 GMT

New holiday-themed The Brookline Parent column up! Read about how Muffin and Squeaker celebrate Sukkot!

New "The Brookline Parent" Column Up!

gnomi — Wed, 24 Sep 2014 14:39:29 GMT

In this week’s (slightly early, due to Rosh Hashanah) “The Brookline Parent” column, mabfan discusses the ways in which Muffin and Squeaker remain irrational.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 12 Sep 2014 16:42:06 GMT

In this week's "The Brookline Parent" column, I talk about the changes we've had to make to accommodate our new schedule.

Welcome to Boston, Students! (An Annual Open Letter)*

gnomi — Sun, 31 Aug 2014 03:33:55 GMT

So, it's that time of year, when the students return (like swallows to Capistrano) to Boston. And thus it is time for yet another "gnomi explains it all" post. Not that any of the people this post is directed toward will actually see it, but it'll make me feel better.

1. You see that thing in front of you? It's a Really Big Street. Running across it while those fast-moving things (we call them "cars") are barrelling down at you will hurt you more than it will hurt the cars.

2. Moving trucks, while useful, should not completely block any of the following: driveways, sidewalks, crosswalks, intersections. We know you have to move your stuff. However, some of us have to live here, too.

3. Speaking of crosswalks, please learn how to use them. No, really. They're not there purely for the amusement of line painters.

4. Ah, the T. Yes, it's a subway system. Yes, it gets you and your obnoxious friends from place to place. But it is not solely yours. The other commuters might want to be able to, say, read their newspapers free of your loud, obscene comments at 7:15 in the morning. Or even at 5:30 at night.

5. Also, you see those big signs in the T stations that say "There is no smoking permitted on MBTA property?" Those do apply to you. And they apply regardless of what you're choosing to smoke. I'm just saying.

6. We know you're eager to get on the train. But you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends are just making it harder for everyone if you're blocking the door, keeping those of us in the train from getting out. This also applies to people blocking the doors when inside the train; if you move out of the doorway, people will be able to get off the train and you will get to your destination faster.

7. While we're talking trains and etiquette, let's tackle getting to and from those trains. You see the escalator? It comfortably accommodates two people per stair. But here's the deal. Stay to the right if you want to stand and let the moving stairs propel you upwards. Stay to the left if you wish to walk up the stairs. This is established local tradition, and there's no need for the commuters to have to slalom purely because you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends can't be bothered to notice all the people standing to the right of the stairs.

8. Bicycles are great. We're all for them. In fact, we have bike lanes on some of our major streets. Please, however, pay attention to the following important fact: Bicycles are subject to the same laws as the cars if you're riding on the street (which, for the most part, you should be; many municipalities have laws against riding on sidewalks). This means that you have to stop when the light is red and allow the pedestrians to walk. This does not mean that you should barrel through the crosswalk and curse out the pedestrians who have the gumption to get into the crosswalk when you want to be there (despite the fact that they, not you, have the light).

So, welcome to Boston. Keeping these things in mind will make your life much simpler and will also prevent me from thwacking you with my elbow as I strive to get to or from work.

Thank you,
The management.

*Or, whenever I remember to post it or am reminded to post it.

New "The Brookline Parent" Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 18:16:49 GMT

In this week's The Brookline Parent column, mabfan writes about the journey that got us here as Muffin and Squeaker get ready to start Kindergarten.

gnomi — Sun, 17 Aug 2014 21:44:31 GMT

Today we celebrated my parents' 50th anniversary, and I was asked to be among the speakers. (Because no one comes to parties to hear the speeches, I suggested my parents keep the talky part of the party to no more than 30 minutes. Each of the speakers was allotted five minutes.) I gave the following d'var Torah (talk on the parsha (the week's Torah portion)).

In this week's parsha, Re'eh, we read a lot about the Jewish holidays, about what we should do when we first enter the land, and about blessings and curses we will get depending on whether or not we listen to what Hashem tells us to do once we enter the land. And none of those topics seemed appropriate for an anniversary party. But then in Deuteronomy chapter 15, verses 12-14 we read:

If your brother, a Jewish man or a Jewish woman, is sold to you, he shall serve you for six years, and in the seventh year you shall send him forth free from you.

And when you send him forth free from you, you shall not send him forth empty-handed.

You shall surely provide him from your flock, from your threshing floor, and from your wine press; you shall give him from what Hashem, your God, has blessed you.

Now, I lived in my parents' home for 18 years, and I'm not saying that I was a slave, but they did send me away, as I went to Israel and then to college. And one thing that I learned from my parents is that you never leave their house empty handed. Whether it's leftovers from whatever meal you just ate with them, or an item my mother or father saw that they thought you'd like, or something my mother found in the basement that she thought would be useful to you, it would find its way into your hands. And they passed that value on to us, and we try to live the same way, with our homes open to both friends and strangers, and no one leaves empty handed. Though this was the third Shabbat running that someone left a jacket at our place.

So to Ima and Abba, my parents, I say mazal tov on fifty years of marriage. Thank you for teaching us the importance of hachnasat orchim, the welcoming of guests, as can be seen from this beautiful party, and may you have many more years to come. Ad meah v'esrim (until 120).

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 15 Aug 2014 16:05:22 GMT

In this week’s The Brookline Parent, mabfan and I take Muffin and Squeaker to Boston Comic Con, where they have many adventures and meet some interesting people.

New "The Brookline Parent" Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:28:52 GMT

In the new The Brookline Parent column, mabfan takes on the subject of Muffin and Squeaker's obsession with music from "Frozen."

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 18 Jul 2014 16:14:56 GMT

In this week’s column, the girls have a fifth birthday party with minimal time for preparation. Everyone has a great time and gets balloon sculptures and face paintings.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Thu, 03 Jul 2014 16:40:44 GMT

In this week’s The Brookline Parent, mabfan discusses the Supreme Court case that started in Massachusetts and on which the Court ruled 9-0 was unconstitutional. The incident that prompted the law that was the subject of the lawsuit was not just local; it happened here in Brookline, and he was nearby when it happened.

New Fic: The Masterpiece of Nature (G, "Glee," Klaine)

gnomi — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 22:13:21 GMT

So a while back, I asked if people wanted me to tell them when I wrote fic, and the general consensus was that yes, I should do so. And then I got ridiculously busy and didn't. But I wrote something new! It's on AO3, and the headers are below.

Title: The Masterpiece of Nature
Author: Nomi
Rating: G
Sp0ilers: Through season 5, to be safe
Warnings: None
Word count: ~2750
Beta: Jen
Summary: It’s a damn good thing he likes that Anderson kid.
Notes: Written for "More Than Just A Tie" -- A Multifandom Fathering Fic Fest. Title from here: “The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.” ― Antoine François Prévost

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 20 Jun 2014 16:24:54 GMT

So… how’s your week going? Mine’s been…interesting. Want to know how interesting, and how Muffin and Squeaker reacted? Read the new The Brookline Parent column.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 06 Jun 2014 16:13:33 GMT

In this week's The Brookline Parent column, mabfan discusses recent minor medical emergencies experienced by the girls.

New Brookline Parent Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 23 May 2014 19:51:42 GMT

Muffin and Squeaker were flower girls for the first time! And so I wrote a column about it. Because they were adorable and I was a ball of stress. Click to read Hail the Bridegroom, Hail the Bride.

Lag B'Omer

gnomi — Sun, 18 May 2014 02:58:21 GMT

New "The Brookline Parent" Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 09 May 2014 16:22:54 GMT

In this week's column, mabfan discusses the "firsts" in the girls' lives that we've missed.Click here to read "Missing the Firsts."

New "The Brookline Parent" Column Up!

gnomi — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 16:25:00 GMT

In this week's column, Muffin and Squeaker go to the movies, Michael and I finally see "Frozen," and I briefly hate Disney movies.

Hayom Yom Chamishi...

gnomi — Sun, 20 Apr 2014 02:34:09 GMT

(I missed Friday night and will be missing Sunday and Monday nights, but I intend to do this as much as possible this year... bear with me...)

Hayom Yom Shlishi...

gnomi — Fri, 18 Apr 2014 01:52:50 GMT

The Return of "The Brookline Parent"!

gnomi — Fri, 11 Apr 2014 16:06:52 GMT

As mabfan puts it in the column, We're Back!. Come read the new column and catch up with us!

So...

gnomi — Tue, 19 Nov 2013 23:57:02 GMT

I've been dabbling in fanfiction again ("Glee," with one could-be-considered-wackadoodle crossover that is "Glee"/"Sports Night"). Would there be interest in my posting any of it here? Alternatively, I could just post the links to AO3 here.

(I should have made this a poll. But then I'd have to think of a "Narf" question.)