server: avoid retry forever during startup upon premature shutdown #105141
Description
Needed for #99958.
Probably helps with #100578.
We need to have the RunIdempotentWithRetry calls abort if the surrounding server shuts down prematurely. This happens most frequently in tests that fail for another reason; and also in multitenancy tests with multiple tenant server side-by-side.
Jira issue: CRDB-28896
Epic CRDB-28893