is life always this extremely unfair?
if you've read mary's posts. then this post will probably be the same as it is except for the guild party where i wish i was at.
Moos' life is extremely complicated and very hard like a rock. Indeed.
we are havinga hell of time of our life.
i have a probation hearing on tuesday. very exicted,yes. (pshlease)
i wanna suffocate the people, and make them feel the pain we are having. THEY DON'T understand what the situation at home is like.i don't think they personally ever exprienced our situation. to be honestly, i hope they won't but WHAT THE HELL. PUNISHING PEOPLE FOR BEING SICK AND NOT GOING TO SCHOOl?!!? i understand the law that children have to go to school. but do you want them to be sick and throw up in the class all the time,huh? no? goddamnit. if one of them were in my mother's shoes. that person would be trying to kill herself which is pretty horrible,right? Mary whom is also having diffuclt time, but im thankful that she is strong to going through all this stuff with me even when im arguing with mom, and helping me and my brother getting to school. Mary told me that mom told her that she wanted to commit sucidine and she want me to do same thing. i honestly understand her frustuation and its also my frustration. but things are the way they are but i want to change them. i want to!!! i want migraines to stop, starting to go to school everyday on time, do the hard work to go on to college or preferably university (west of england?!) but its not that way. i get sick all the time, some time throwing up, getting dizzy,or woozy. its scary to get up in the dark middle of the night to hold my head so the pain would stop but it never stops.
im on mediciation, northyphill(?) supposedly to prevent migraines, it is helping quite not enough to stop migraines, or stop mom yelling at me for being sick all the time. my doctor limited me to use forcient 2 times a week, i don't think thats enough but let's try stop use drugs too much. yeah. anyway, my mom is incredibly angry,and frustrated. she even broke my door but that was like months ago. she yelled at my sisters, and also screamed at me about little random stuff. its very ridculious.
I got a new therapist that signs,finally! i can go to er every friday in the morning to talk about migraines,depression,my thoughts,my mom,my sisters,and school district where i might will say I WANNA CHOKE THEM TILL DEATH. and i have a case worker,now. Amy who is deaf and very generous. and she has husband who was taught by the very same teacher as me,Dr.Shire! amusuing. i think im easily amused by everything but thats ok. the therapist is cool,she is orginally from Alaska but she moved everywhere like Ohio,Tenn,Florida,South carolina,almost every state! i think we will get along pretty good. she seem pretty nice and cool. i hope it will be easy for me to talk without going "wah wah wah ahhh ahh" which i hope i won't. its very very ugly when i cry. seriously. anyway. but i feel that my mom is the one who needs a therapist that she can go weekly. she get her emotions out on her kids especially me which we (the kids) don't really deserve that because when the parents breaks down at their kid,and the kid would feel pressured and feel like going through hell. BUT HEY THATS HOW MARY,EVELYN,AND I FEELS. you know she yelled,screamed,hit,cried,and complained which is making me feel like there is something i can do to help but there is nothing i can except getting better,going to school everyday, avoiding probation hearings and get credits. but that might won't happen. i can't guatarnee my mom all the time i will get better soon soon,soon. but it seem it won't go away, you know?
I want my sister,mary (appositive!) to get tutition,and applications paid and filled so she can go to the college she selected to want to go because i don't want her to feel depressed,pressured,and feel like going nuts. I want my brother to have a normal life as he can have, not hitting his sister(me) all the time when mom gets upset. i also want evelyn to be able to do things she desire to do. im not sure what she want to do with her life. But i don't want to see evelyn get upset or frustuated by how my mom is with her life. I don't wanna see mary or anyone else to get upset about my issues,or my mom's issues. but everybody has issues that is neccasary to get upset.
ANYWAY on A HAPPY NOTE
i love my boyfriendd. i miss matt. hes playing WoW i want to play WoW. :( :(
and my unqiue survey is coming soon, so keep check out my posts for Gini's Survey.
Moos' life is extremely complicated and very hard like a rock. Indeed.
we are havinga hell of time of our life.
i have a probation hearing on tuesday. very exicted,yes. (pshlease)
i wanna suffocate the people, and make them feel the pain we are having. THEY DON'T understand what the situation at home is like.i don't think they personally ever exprienced our situation. to be honestly, i hope they won't but WHAT THE HELL. PUNISHING PEOPLE FOR BEING SICK AND NOT GOING TO SCHOOl?!!? i understand the law that children have to go to school. but do you want them to be sick and throw up in the class all the time,huh? no? goddamnit. if one of them were in my mother's shoes. that person would be trying to kill herself which is pretty horrible,right? Mary whom is also having diffuclt time, but im thankful that she is strong to going through all this stuff with me even when im arguing with mom, and helping me and my brother getting to school. Mary told me that mom told her that she wanted to commit sucidine and she want me to do same thing. i honestly understand her frustuation and its also my frustration. but things are the way they are but i want to change them. i want to!!! i want migraines to stop, starting to go to school everyday on time, do the hard work to go on to college or preferably university (west of england?!) but its not that way. i get sick all the time, some time throwing up, getting dizzy,or woozy. its scary to get up in the dark middle of the night to hold my head so the pain would stop but it never stops.
im on mediciation, northyphill(?) supposedly to prevent migraines, it is helping quite not enough to stop migraines, or stop mom yelling at me for being sick all the time. my doctor limited me to use forcient 2 times a week, i don't think thats enough but let's try stop use drugs too much. yeah. anyway, my mom is incredibly angry,and frustrated. she even broke my door but that was like months ago. she yelled at my sisters, and also screamed at me about little random stuff. its very ridculious.
I got a new therapist that signs,finally! i can go to er every friday in the morning to talk about migraines,depression,my thoughts,my mom,my sisters,and school district where i might will say I WANNA CHOKE THEM TILL DEATH. and i have a case worker,now. Amy who is deaf and very generous. and she has husband who was taught by the very same teacher as me,Dr.Shire! amusuing. i think im easily amused by everything but thats ok. the therapist is cool,she is orginally from Alaska but she moved everywhere like Ohio,Tenn,Florida,South carolina,almost every state! i think we will get along pretty good. she seem pretty nice and cool. i hope it will be easy for me to talk without going "wah wah wah ahhh ahh" which i hope i won't. its very very ugly when i cry. seriously. anyway. but i feel that my mom is the one who needs a therapist that she can go weekly. she get her emotions out on her kids especially me which we (the kids) don't really deserve that because when the parents breaks down at their kid,and the kid would feel pressured and feel like going through hell. BUT HEY THATS HOW MARY,EVELYN,AND I FEELS. you know she yelled,screamed,hit,cried,and complained which is making me feel like there is something i can do to help but there is nothing i can except getting better,going to school everyday, avoiding probation hearings and get credits. but that might won't happen. i can't guatarnee my mom all the time i will get better soon soon,soon. but it seem it won't go away, you know?
I want my sister,mary (appositive!) to get tutition,and applications paid and filled so she can go to the college she selected to want to go because i don't want her to feel depressed,pressured,and feel like going nuts. I want my brother to have a normal life as he can have, not hitting his sister(me) all the time when mom gets upset. i also want evelyn to be able to do things she desire to do. im not sure what she want to do with her life. But i don't want to see evelyn get upset or frustuated by how my mom is with her life. I don't wanna see mary or anyone else to get upset about my issues,or my mom's issues. but everybody has issues that is neccasary to get upset.
ANYWAY on A HAPPY NOTE
i love my boyfriendd. i miss matt. hes playing WoW i want to play WoW. :( :(
and my unqiue survey is coming soon, so keep check out my posts for Gini's Survey.