This break is boringest ever in my life! some people could say same thing. Really, life sucks. All i do is fighting with my sisters, doing wrong stuff that my family appear to think so, watch star trek, sleep, or guard camp. I could finish 5 books in a week. it really sucks. Some people are lucky enough that they are invited or allowed ,or be able to doings with their friends, or family during the break. it truly sucks. I feel like i should/ want to go back to school.

I am considering about quitting guard. I don't get it that im deaf, apparently i am doing things related to music. I dont feel like i belong to guard,anymore. i am sorry. Tasha quitted because of people she didnt like, Chelsea quitted for same reason. I am not telling you who. i promised them i won't tell who. Christine didnt join indoor because of lot of work that i know of. Danielle(new one) just quitted because that she think she is lousy. i probably quit because i have problems with hearing people(no offense). Jeni- i think you should not join, as i have seen your comment to danielle(oldie), saying its stupid and boring guard camp. If you dont like guard, then quit. I am sorry if you think i am trying to tear guard apart. i am not attempting to do. I just think people should do things they like to. Acting like it is some fun things to do, actually doesnt like it. I basically don't think its fair, and it is making me feel depressed. And i am somehow feeling the need to commit sucidine (Mary, please dont make fun of this, this is serious, Dont bother to be sarcastic.)

I have question, maybe it could be remain for rest of our lives. well forever.
Why is it people get pleasure from using,murder people,or just to lie to people.. Is it because of you just don't like them? That's not fair. Because each person's life is worthy to others. Yeah i sounds like preacher but i am not. That's what i think. Also why people uses god as excuse to get what you want? For instance, some muslim religion say you shall kill other religion because only their god is right. ( i heard this from my teacher, i hope i am not offending you)

I hate it when mary is sarcastic, i feel like she is bullying me. for past roughly 5 or 6 yeaars, she makes fun of me being lesbian, which i am not. Why do people make fun of others because what they assume others are? That is not so fair. really. Also. um... She makes fun of me being vegetarian. I am vegetarian for about a week. ugh... I used to eat meat. i still eat diary. Now, i am vegetarian, that doesnt mean i cannot eat diary. But that also doesnt mean i dont care about animals. I do care about animals. I know that dairy, mostly are coming from cow. or goat. But still dont make fun of other people being vegetarian. being sarcastic, or um. uses logic could upsets others. Also, you telling your sister to go kill herself, is that right? no. uh.. oh yeah you laughed at me when i was attempting to hurt my self. It is not really funny. Now, i feel this world is full of bullshit. we dont realize what we are doing, or being aware of risks. people are acting like its okay. using god as excuse to get what you get. its ridiclious. come on, stop playing games with other humans, sure i have done it before (not sex, things we do) But right now i am realizing, come on,people. We are what is causing world to be a insane place.

Okay, i feel that i could stop typing. i'm going to watch more star trek, then bed, probably practcing saber and rifle. Help Amber in afternoon for babysitting.