Paris, are we still on for drinks this week? Or do you want to wait? If you don't want to go out until this is over, I'd understand. I've still barely learned how to move in this body. No wonder women were never warriors. I feel like I'd snap if i tried to put on any armor.

But this is definitely one of the least harmful of Khaos' games. Though I might cut off this hair before the end.

Melinoe, are you alright?

[Filter: Family]

It's over with Neoptolemus. Now please leave me alone.

[/Filter]

I thought I'd have a little bit more energy by today, but getting off the couch doesn't feel worth it yet. I don't even care that it's over and I'm sitting here alone there isn't even anything on TV to watch.

I want to do this calmly and lay everything out and think it through. I've had enough of stupid mistakes and I don't want to make another one.

Is this what the Fates want? I get it, the attraction. How comfortable I feel even when everything everyone screams at me not to. I should just run the other fucking direction. Maybe ask for a new roommate. It would put some space between us and maybe make all this easier. Everything is a fucking maybe. I miss being able to know anything. All I get now are stupid little glimpses that tell me next to nothing and leave me with a headache. Then again, maybe the headache is from overthinking all this. Nothing makes it go away.

Just trying to go with it got me into this mess in the first place. I wanted to trust him and hope that I could move on here. I don't want to be as angry as Polyxena. I made my stupid mistakes already back in Troy and...I'm just making new stupid mistakes here. I know what he did. I saw it. Polyxena and mom and dad...Cass. We were all marching for the inevitable and I hated it. I wanted to change things maybe. I knew I wouldn't get Helen. I should never have fought or her, that stupid fight convinced me to leave Troy. Staying would have changed things more then winning that woman's hand. Fighting was a waste of time. I should have stayed.

I might have avoided the dishonor of being declared a traitor then. As another soldier of Troy, maybe I would have died with her.

Everything comes down to maybes. I'm useless here. I only ever had any use to anyone in Troy because of the sight Cass gave me. Without it? I can't fight like my brothers. I'm not a leader like them. I can't even keep Cass sane.

Seeing a future I didn't know was terrifying. I shouldn't be a father. When I said yes, it wasn't promising forever. I wanted a companion and when he looked at me- he wanted me. Not what I could foretell for him. So where the fuck does that all leave me? Do I panic (again) and leave, or trust what I see in his face despite what I know he's done? Is it even panicking when it's what some of my family wants?

I wish I knew why future me, back in Troy and Greece, forgave him.

[low mumbling, very muffled, in some englishgreek mishmash but you have to be paying attention to pick up that much. that continues for a little bit, he doesn't realize he's turned on audio and sounds distant from the mic]

Neop...[he's much more clearer now. Though he still sounds like he's just waking up] where the...

What. The. Fuck. [now he's awake and aware and very annoyed] Am I back in the complex?

Cass? Why was I ever jealous of Hector being dad's favorite? I can barely handle our own family. I'd mess up a city.

If this money is actually worth something, I won't have to do any work for Neoptolemus again. ...thanks Khaos?

I don't get it....this is all so nice.

How the hell is someone supposed to buy a present for someone who can see the future?

I shouldn't have left. Alright? I'm sorry. I panicked.

It's my fault.

And now everyone knows so go away. My head hurts.