2. writing, thinking, resting
a not-so-weekly reflection now filed under 'unscheduled entries'. A little insight into how my week went. If you're nosy - you'll love it.
A moment that made me smile
This past week, my subscriber count has been growing faster than I can keep up with, and I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me that people genuinely enjoy what I write, and want to stick around to see what else I have to say. The warm welcome to Substack has filled me with motivation, and with it, an incredible rush of inspiration. I’m writing poetry again for the first time in ten years (and exploring why it took me so long to get back to it in another piece, coming soon!) I’m opening up old, healed wounds to unpick my experiences. I’m learning about myself all over again. Actually…I feel like I’m coming back to a version of myself I was told (literally told) to hide and change.
Something that didn’t go to plan
Something really specific this week - my toddler woke up early from his nap. I had only just had enough time to tidy the house, grab some lunch, and do a little editing when he stood up in his cot out of nowhere, an hour earlier than he usually does.
It was a huge opportunity for self-reflection, though. Since then, I’ve been picking at it - I know he’s a child. I know his routine varies. So why was I so frustrated by that?
I think it comes down to the fact that ‘down time’ for me is essential. I cherish the time he’s sleeping, because resetting is a need. I can’t function properly as a mum, wife, human, if I don’t decompress. And that’s exactly what happened - I had no downtime that day, so I plunged straight into another wake window overstimulated, exhausted, and frustrated.
The positive side of that, though, is that every nap time since, I’ve been ridiculously intentional with my time. I’m not spending the time rushing through chores and writing and editing. I’m making and eating lunch. I’m reading. I’m laying on the sofa - and I have an excuse for it. Rest is productive.
Things I’m learning
That I have so much more to say than I thought. That I am more creative than I give myself credit for. Writing on Substack has snowballed - my notes app has never been more full, my husband never more annoyed at how much I’ve been talking…I guess I just have an awful lot to say, and I am incredibly grateful that I have a creative outlet for it all.
I’m also learning to be patient - it’s something I’ve been working on for a long time, and something I don’t think I’ll ever really master. I’m so ‘go go go’ that it’s hard for me to remember that the world doesn’t work that way. Again, I’m learning that rest is productive. I just wish I would stop forgetting that.
Songs on repeat…
My top 5 of the week:
Olivia Dean - So Easy (To Fall in Love)
Selena Gomez - Lose you to Love Me
Final thoughts, and goals for the week ahead…
Keep prioritising rest - actual rest. It’s vital to my day-to-day functioning. Try to read more (again). The goal is to discover new publications on substack, and find a couple of books that I genuinely want to read - not ones I think I ‘should’ read, just so I can say that I have read them. I want to keep writing about things that matter to me - I’m writing for me, after all, and nobody else. And finally, to discover new music - I’ve loved hearing what you all listen to while you write, and I’ve added so many songs/artists to my playlist already (let me know in the comments if there’s a song/artist/album you’re obsessed with right now - I’m so nosy, I love to know these things!).
I've been learning to understand in those moments of overstimulation to just relax, refocus my thoughts, go for a walk, and breathe. That really helps :)
adore the reminder that rest should be for personal rejuvenation whenever possible, as rushing around to finish chores won’t bring you the peace that you need. wonderful reflection and a great read!