A moment that made me smile

Most writers would probably share something incredibly insightful here, based on something they observed or experienced. But I cannot lie - I made an excellent batch of biscuits this week, and I’m really happy about that. I share my recipes over on my instagram (numberfoureats) if you’re looking for some inspiration, or if you want to recreate them (I’m begging you to leave a comment, either here or on instagram, giving me flavour suggestions for those biscuits, because I’ll be making them all season).

Something that didn’t go to plan

I need to get out of the house more. I find it really hard, especially with a toddler, to get ready and go out, even if it’s just for a short walk. But when I do, I know i love it. With the leaves changing, the weather cool enough to wear my favourite jumpers, you’d think it would be easy to find that motivation to head outside. It’s not. We’ll try again next week.

Things I’m learning

This section was originally titled What I’ve Learned, but upon writing, I realised that actually we don’t learn things that quickly at all. Learning is ongoing, a continuous process of reading and adding to what we already understand. With that in mind, I’m learning to be more mindful in my approach to learning. To give myself grace, to allow myself the space to learn rather than pressuring myself to understand things quickly.

To bake new recipes - I’ve always been a keen baker, but recently i’ve pushed myself out of my comfort zone, tried new techniques, and really surprised myself.

To put less pressure on my writing - writing isn’t just ‘able to put words together well’ - its about allowing your hands the freedom to say what your brain is thinking, without holding it back. That very act of letting go is the biggest reason this substack exists - without it, I’d criticise myself, second guess everything I typed, and worried far too much what people might think of me based on what I wrote. None of those things bother me at all, now.

To accommodate myself - As a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman, I’m also unlearning a lot of things which have made my life uncomfortable. I’m learning which things overstimulate me, which things are not necessary even though there might be a societal expectation for them. I’m learning to live more simply. I am learning myself.

To make plans/goals based on my cycle - I’m not going to go too much into it (hello family members snooping!) but I know that certain weeks in my cycle, I have far more optimism and motivation than during others. It seems so blatantly obvious, but I’ve learnt that if I’m going to see friends or attempt something new, around week 2 is the right time to start doing that. Note to self: don’t set personal goals to be achieved during your period - it’s not going to happen.

Songs on repeat…

My top 5 of the week - there’s nothing to read into, here, I just love the vibe. And female artists, obviously.

Sienna Spiro - Die on this Hill

The Cranberries - Dreams

Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway

Sienna Spiro - You Stole the show

Lorde - Liability

Goals for the week ahead…

Look, I’m not going to hold myself to these at all. It’s just a handful of things I’d like to do.

• Get outside more - a simple thirty minute walk, as many days as I can

• Write another weekly journal during the week rather than forgetting about it until the last minute

• Take more photos - on my phone is fine, lightly edited - another reason getting outside is a good idea

• Buy/find a new notebook, and start jotting things down in there, rather than on my phone (it’s far too easy to jump over to another app…)

Final Thoughts

This week, I’ve really prioritised ‘me’ - baking, cosy days at home…but that’s me at my baseline. Comfortable. Of course, allowing yourself a reset is necessary, but I think it’s time I start adding extra things on top - a bit of whimsy, fun, adventure. Walking and enjoying nature, foraging for sloes, bringing them home to make sloe gin for Christmas. The entire point of creating this Substack was to gently push myself out of my comfort zone, and allow myself to be creative. While it’s not poetic, I think that’s going to be my mantra for the foreseeable.