Reason #438,319 not to use DHL

I'm in the living room, reading, when I hear someone tapping on the window. An old East Indian guy is standing on the lawn and tapping on the window, while the cat watches him.

I open the front door. There's a DHL van parked diagonally across the street at the foot of our lot.

DHL: I have one like that.
Me: A cat? Okay.

DHL: Are you David?
Me: No, but I can sign for him.

DHL: What are you to David?
Me: I'm his husband.

DHL: <looking at me like I've grown a second head> Are you serious?
Me: Yeah.

DHL: Huh.