Mike's Gournal

Pics of my band at our Halloween gig

2008-11-03T16:56:30Z

The theme of the night was 80's Prom Night, so we all got appropriately decked out:

Here I am, getting my 80's on.

Mike on bass.

Ryan on lead guitar and vocals.

Rich on rhythm guitar.

Merv on drums.

Tell me: how do you people with hair get anything done without like, just sweating all day?

Judging Fall TV Shows Based On Whether Or Not They Have Actors From The Wire On Them

2008-10-10T03:54:15Z

With every new season of tv, there seems to be a spat of "Hey, I know that person from somewhere"-itis. For this fall in particular, there seems to be a whole host of tv shows who have decided to cast actors from The Wire, which just so happens to be one of my all-time favorite tv shows. Here's a list of who I've happened to notice, so far:

-James Ransome, aka Chester "Ziggy" Sobotka, had a starring role as Cpl. Josh Ray Person in the HBO Miniseries Generation Kill.

-Chris Bauer, who played Ziggy's pop, Frank Sobotka, is Andy Bellefleur on True Blood.

-Lance Reddick, who was the commanding officer of the Major Crimes Unit, Lt. Cedric Daniels, popped up a few times on LOST as the mysterious Matthew Abbadon, and is currently playing Broyles on Fringe.

-Clarke Peters, as the incredibly smooth Detective Lester Freamon, had a cameo in the US import of Life On Mars as Sam Tyler's boss in 2008, Captain Bellow.

-Pablo Schrieber, who played Nick Sobotka, will also be appearing on Life On Mars in a guest role as Trent, in an episode that I'm assuming will follow the UK original, as he's playing a character which was directly from the second episode of that show.

-Tristan Wilds, who played Michael Lee, who in a show chock-full of well-plotted story arcs, had one of the series' best, is now doing time on 90210, as Dixon Wilson.

-Glynn Turman, as Mayor Clarence Royce, stopped by Cold Case last month as Al Towert.

-Amy Ryan, who was Officer Beadie Russell, is currently enduring Michael Scott's antics as HR rep Holly Flax on The Office.

-Jamie Hector, who played the ever-elusive drug kingpin Marlo Stanfield, is terrorizing Peter and Claire and the gang over on Heroes as Villain Benjamin Knox.

-Also on Heroes, Bubbles himself, Andre Royo, will be appearing as Villain Stephen Canfield.

-Robert Wisdom, who played Major Howard "Bunny" Colvin, is set to appear later this season on Supernatural as Uriel, an angel.

-Benjamin Busch, who appeared as the always hot-tempered Officer Colicchio, also was in Generation Kill, as Major Todd Eckloff.

-Rapper Method Man, who was Cheese Wagstaff, was Valentine on Burn Notice, and also has a recurring role on CSI as Drops.

-Callie Thorne, as Elena McNulty, ex-wife to Det. Jimmy McNulty, had a recurring role on Prison Break as Pam Mahone. She was also Crazy Sheila on Rescue Me.

Phew!

So...

2008-09-25T20:03:57Z

You provide the beer, we provide the drunken good times. (The above is my band. I'm the one dressed like a refugee from a 1980's Richard Simmons workout tape).

I just can't lie about this sort of thing.

2008-07-23T12:10:57Z

As good as The Dark Knight was, I didn't enjoy it as much as I did WALL-E. There, I said it.

Damn you, HBO On Demand.

2008-02-19T04:32:05Z

Can you please put up the last two episodes of The Wire now? Please? Pretty please?

No?

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit.

Hi, folks.

2008-02-16T00:23:13Z

Sorry I've been absent lately. Me and God are watching Scotty grow. Don't worry, we're watering him daily. And there's airholes, so he can breathe.

Seriously though, "BRLFQ spells 'Mom and Dad,' Well that ain't too bad..."? Really? Cause, I mean, honestly, that's pretty bad. That's about as far away from "Mom and Dad" as you can get. I suppose "Watching My Idiot Son" didn't have quite the same ring to it.

Oh, oh Wire...

2008-01-07T23:25:22Z

I'm in love with a tv show. This love is as real and true and pure as that between a man and a woman, or a man and cow, or a man and Tom Brady. What makes this one different than all those though, is that a tv show cannot reciprocate your love, no matter how much you think it is. It will always be an unrequited love.

That minor disappointment aside, The Wire is back and I loooooooooooooooooooooooooooove it. Love, love, love, love, love, love. In fact, it's one of those shows that, when it's coming back on, I'm like, "Eh, I don't know if I feel like watching it. I couldn't possibly like it as much as I used to rant and rave about it. I must have been completely wro--OHMYGOD BUNK! It's BUNK! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

And just like that, I've fallen into old familiar patterns. I've already started emailing The Wire all day long, and fretting when it doesn't email me back. It's a bit ridiculous, but what can I do? I'm in LOVE.

Those of you who watch the show know. Those who don't, you won't understand. And that's okay. I'm not going to try and convince anyone to watch it this time around. I will say the following though, having worked in the news media industry, they pretty much nailed the habits, tics, and attitudes of news reporters in this first episode of the season. The discussion over the proper use of the word "evacuate"? Spot on, mate.

LOVE.

Movies: 2007

2007-12-28T05:27:12Z

The following are the movies that I saw, whether theatrically or via dvd or tv or whatnot, in 2007:

Reno 911!: Miami
Zodiac
300
Blades Of Glory
Grindhouse
Hot Fuzz
The Condemned
Spider-Man 3
28 Weeks Later
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Knocked Up
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Black Sheep
Live Free Or Die Hard
Ratatouille
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The Simpsons Movie
Hot Rod
Superbad
The Brothers Solomon
3:10 To Yuma
Resident Evil: Extinction
30 Days Of Night
No Country For Old Men
The Mist
I Am Legend

Grand Total: 27 movies.

Now then, some superlatives:

Best Overall Moviegoing Experience: Grindhouse. Those who missed this in the theater really missed out on something special. The separate DVD releases of Planet Terror and Death Proof was, unequivocally, a colossal mistake. Oh, and that brings me to my first dvd-related category.

Most Disturbing Trend In DVD Releases: Non-Theatrical DVD Releases. I can't speak for anyone else here, only myself, but I'm really irritated when a movie comes out on DVD in altered form than how it was released in the theaters. Grindhouse gets broken up into its two main features, losing the majority of the fake trailers strewn about the films and gaining supposedly enticing "bonus footage," all of which is barely noticeable in Planet Terror's case, and completely bloated and excessive in Death Proof's case. Judd Apatow is also incredibly guilty of this, adding in some cases 30 more minutes of footage to already bordering-on-overlong comedies like The 40-Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad. There's a reason those scenes were cut in the first place, Judd...they're not very funny. It wouldn't be that bad if they released the theatrical cut along with the unrated versions, but if they're getting released, I can't find them anywhere.

Speaking of Judd...

Best Funny Movie I Have No Desire To Ever See Again Due To The Fact That I Know I Will Not Find It Funny A Second Time: Knocked Up.

Best Funny Movies I Have No Desire To Ever See Again Due To The Fact That I Saw Them Both On Dates With A Girl Who Then Broke Up With Me, Thus Ruining Said Movies For Me, The Bitch: Hot Rod and Superbad.

Best Use of Bill Hader: Saturday Night Live funnyman Bill Hader (of Laser Cats fame) was in apparently every single movie I saw this year. Well, maybe not EVERY movie, but he was definitely in Knocked Up, Hot Rod, Superbad, and Brothers Solomon. And the best useage of Bill Hader was in...Brothers Solomon! Look for him, he's the recumbant biker, and his brief moment onscreen is a giddy highlight.

Best Bang For The Summer Buck: Transformers. I don't care what all the Transformers nerds say, this movie fucking rocked.

Most Enjoyable Sequel To A Crappy Previous Installment: Resident Evil: Extinction. Who'd have guessed? I mean, it would have had to have been pretty godawful not to be better than the second Resident Evil movie, but I actually found myself enjoying it.

Least Enjoyable Sequel To A Non-Crappy Previous Installment: Spider-Man 3. Here's the thing I don't get, a lot of people I know who complained about Transformers REALLY liked Spider-Man 3. At the time, I had this to say about Spider-Man 3, and it still holds true: there were moments during this movie that I was certain, CERTAIN, it was literally never going to end. Unfocused, poorly thought-out, and not in the least bit engaging.

Best Movie Based On A Book That I've Read: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Except for Helena Bonham-Carter. She's terrible. I'm not exactly sure when she stopped being a good actress. For some reason, I want to lay the blame at Tim Burton's feet. Remember when she was in like, A Room With A View, and Howard's End? So when did this descent into suck start? Fight Club? Planet of the Apes? I'll let you all decide for yourselves. Nowadays, she's only good when she's doing voiceovers, like in The Corpse Bride or Wallace and Gromit. God she's awful in this.

Worst Movie Based On A Book That I Haven't Read: No Country For Old Men. Not since The English Patient have I seen so many critics fall over themselves to praise a movie that I just didn't think was really all that good. Well, okay, I guess since Sideways. But, before anyone jumps down my throat, here's my stance on No Country For Old Men: it's wonderfully acted. Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, and Kelly MacDonald do terrific jobs with their roles. It is capably directed. It looks beautiful. It is nicely taut, nicely tense. But then, okay. It's moving along, and I'm pretty riveted, and then with about fifteen-twenty minutes left, it's as if the Coen Brothers decided to stop writing, and turn what's left of the script over to Marlon Brando as Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now. A full month later, and I'm still going, "WTF?!?"

The "Boy Is There Egg On My Face" Award: To Thomas Jane's character in The Mist.

Turn Off Your Brain And Go With It, And It's Actually Quite Enjoyable: (tie) Live Free Or Die Hard, The Condemned.

The Script Accidentally Printed Out Caps-Locked: 300. Also, shut up, Faramir.

Most Disappointing Movie Based On What Seems Like A Can't-Miss Premise: Black Sheep.

You know what, I'm just realizing this now, but I think Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix may have been my favorite movie of the year. Go figure.

A Christmas Thought From Me To You

2007-12-24T20:56:09Z

Happy Christmas to you all, to those who celebrate, and to those who don't, enjoy your Tuesday, heathens!

Now then, with that out of the way, it's time to tackle one particular Christmas evil head-on, in the only way I know how: to write about it in a bitter fashion.

When the Beatles broke up, rock critics everywhere were quick to pounce on Paul McCartney's albums and singles, rather unfairly, in my opinion (don't worry, I'll get to how this all ties into Christmas eventually). For example, I have read more than one review of Paul's album Ram from the time period that have made me wonder if the reviewer and I are listening to the same album. I believe Rolling Stone magazine originally gave it something like no stars. No stars to an album that includes "Dear Boy," "Ram On," "Heart Of The Country," "Monkberry Moon Delight," "Too Many People," "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey," and "Backseat Of My Car," one of Paul's very best songs, and that includes his tenure with the Beatles. It is of my opinion that Rolling Stone was on crack when they reviewed the album. But that's beside the point now, as time has looked back upon Paul's career with much more warmth than I'm sure he anticipated after the critical drubbings that met his first few solo albums and Wings efforts. For those of you who have never dared delve into McCartney's solo/Wings years, I can assure you that they're well worth sifting through. Every album has at least one or two songs due for rediscovery and praise, even such maligned efforts as 1971's Wings Wild Life or 1984's Give My Regards To Broad St. In recent years, McCartney has even managed a sustained artistic comeback, with his latest album, Memory Almost Full, being chock full of genuinely terrific compositions.

I like Paul. How can I not? How can I feel anything other than love and gratitude for a man who brought so many wonderful moments of music into my life and the lives of countless others? What would give me the right to say anything negative at all about him? To do so would seem petty and churlish.

Well, except, there is that one thing. That one undeniable black hole of suck, from which nothing good musically can escape. I'm talking of Paul's Christmas song, "Wonderful Christmastime."

Those of you who know the song most likely feel the same way I do: whenever someone brings it up, you find it impossible to hold your tongue. "I HATE that song!" "That is one of the worst things ever foisted upon humanity at any given point in the history of mankind." "When I hear this song, I understand how people snap during the holiday season."

Those of you who have never heard it before, I cannot impress upon you just how godawful a song it is. Imagine the most irritating noise you've ever heard, then have it play on a loop for 4 minutes. Then, over the irritating noise, sing "simply having a wonderful Christmastime" over and over and over and over again. Then gouge your eardrums out with a waterpik. Have yourself a good cry. Then get on with your life.

I know that Paul was and probably still is a fan of the marijuana leaf. But, seriously, how effing stoned do you really need to be to not notice how insufferable this song is? It is the only song I can think of that has ever made me leave a store due to its awfulness. "Wonderful Christmastime" is the Star Wars Holiday Special of Christmas music. And that's really all I have to say about that. Thank you, God bless, and have yourself a merry little Christmas.

Wow, up next on Rifftrax:

2007-12-04T22:01:55Z

http://shop.rifftrax.com/files/posters/StarWarsSpecial.jpg

The Star Wars Holiday Special! Oh my Bea Arthur!

Heroes

2007-12-04T15:41:01Z

I'm having a hard time determining if it's Micah that annoys me, or the actor playing Micah that annoys me. Either way, I'm annoyed by him.

Wow, what an ultimately disappointing second season of Heroes. It plodded along for the first half of the season, then decided to speed things up as it rushed to nowhere interesting. It remains, at best, mildly diverting while watching, and then quickly forgotten. The only thing from last night's episode that I liked was when Sylar shot Maya. It cracked me up. Then Stupidhead (aka Mohinder) had to go and save her. Dammit.

Elsewhere...eh. Nathan's not dead, come on. And the rest, I don't care.

Heroes

2007-11-27T15:51:03Z

Hooray, Sylar! Atta boy! One twin down, one to go! I'd comment on some little continuity errors here (like Alejandro clearly knowing enough English to probably understand Sylar when he threatened to kill both Alejandro and Maya, but then never bringing that up to Maya), but I really don't care about either twin, so it really doesn't matter.

Sofa King Stupid department, Part 1: The casting department that decided Hiro's dad in 1977 looked NOTHING like Hiro's dad in like, 1982 or whenever Hiro's mom died.

Good Stuff: Peter's obtuseness over Adam. I believe that he'd be far too trusting of Adam, even after he blew Joanna Cassidy away. Peter's kind of a sap like that. Plus it was pretty cool when she shot Adam. I like when people shoot each other on this show. Also, despite some cheesy lines, I actually liked Claire this week, although not really sure how going public is going to do anything other than broadcast her location to Sylar. Although he might be able to figure that out on his own now that he has Molly. That was pretty cool too. Although, where the hell is Matt? Who's watching out for Molly???

Sofa King Stupid department, Part 2: So, Joanna Cassidy's character, when she's younger, quits over the whole Shanti virus thing. Then she just hangs out with Linderman and Bob and Hiro's pop and Mama Petrelli and Mr. Parkman like, 20 years later?

Sofa King Stupid department, Part 3: Micah and Monica's backpack adventures of complete and utter boredom.

Now then, I'm looking forward to Hiro and Peter's face-off next week (just a guess: Peter wins), and Noah's return to the Bennet household. And regardless of who the two deaths turn out to be (my guess: West and Niki. Or West and Maya. Or West and Bob. Or..DEAR GOD JUST LET ONE OF THEM BE WEST), thinning out this cast can only be a good thing. Overall, last night's episode wasn't as good as last week, so if I gave last week's a B, I feel obliged to give this one a C+.

And again with the Heroes...

2007-11-20T15:38:02Z

I actually watched last night's episode on NBC's website this morning, right when I got up and was eating my breakfast. It was actually a pretty decent way to watch the show, as instead of watching it after a long day of work and bowling, and thus being tired and in a bit of a grouchy mood, I get to watch it just as I get up and before I have to go to work, and thus being tired and in a bit of a grouchy mood.

Anyway, onto the episode. On the plus side, no Niki! On the bad side, no Niki. (See what I did there? Cause, with the...split-personality thing...with the...with that. Wakka wakka.) Now then, first off, I'd like to get the bad out of the way:

1) When the show insists on only crediting the main characters that are going to appear in the episode, it kind of spoils any sort of "huge surprises and twists" by revealing said character later in the episode. Case in point: the big mystery about who Mr. Nakamura's killer turns out to be could have been figured out by the observant viewers who noticed David Anders' name in the opening credits and then that he wasn't in the episode at all up to that point. Also they probably could have figured it out based on his apparent propensity to show up places by putting his hand around corners first, as seen when he ran into Peter a few episodes ago. Oh, and the bottom half of his face. Add it all up, and we in the audience are several steps ahead of the characters. That's not usually good for mysteries.

2) Kristen Bell is not a bad actress, but her character of Elle is vying with both Claire and West for the title of Most Annoying Person On My TV Screen. And, keep in mind, I'm rewatching Oz on dvd right now. And I'm up to season 5, which is all about Omar White. And the fact that Omar doesn't even rate as a contender for the title should tell all of you who have seen Oz all you need to know about just how annoying I must find Elle, West, and Claire.

3) Jesus Effing Christ, must EVERYONE on this show HAVE or miraculously GET a superpower? Remember when there were people on this show that had dialogue and no powers? Remember when only a scant few people had powers, and they were saving humanity from evil forces because they had powers and the rest of mankind didn't? I mean, it's getting to the point now where I see Parkman's captain, and I think, "Okay, what's his power going to turn out to be?" Yeah, I'm glad Mr. Bennett's not dead, but now that he's got Claire's blood and powers...I mean...COME ON!

Okay, onto what was good about this episode:

1) When Mr. Bennett asked Mrs. Bennett if she had packed Mr. Muggles' tub thing, then showing it full of water and Elle tied up with her feet in it. Very cool.

2) "Hello, Mrs. Butler. Nice to see you again." West, for only a single moment, but nevertheless, a moment, made me laugh.

3) Parkman experimenting with his newfound powers of persuasion. After Mama Petrelli got a nosebleed from his tinkering, I'm hoping that means he's going to accidentally scan someone's head off in the near future.

4) That what felt like a bit of a continuity error ("Why aren't the Bennetts leaving town now that Mr. Bennett is dead? Wouldn't The Company still need Claire? Why would they just leave, especially since the Bennetts would be pretty vulnerable right now?") actually wasn't, since they now have Noah and the sample of Claire's blood which they injected into Noah and now henceforth they have Noah's blood to work with.

The show still isn't as good as it was last year, but this was definitely one of the better episodes of the season (Hiro's Increasingly Disjointed Adventures aside), and I admit to being slightly stunned that they had the balls to kill off Noah. For about five minutes. That said, I give the show credit for bringing him back this episode, and not two episodes from now, at the very end, leaving us all saying, "Oh what the hell" as the show heads into the ether of Writers Strikeville. So, even though I haven't been grading the episodes up to this point, I'd give this one a solid B. Maybe even a B+. No, actually, definitely a B.

Michael Jackson: A Warning Sign

2007-11-16T13:48:22Z

This week, I happened to pick up The McCartney Years on DVD. It's a 3-disc collection of Macca's solo/Wings music videos, plus live clips from Rockshow, MTV Unplugged, and some 2004 concert. Not all of Paul's videos are here, but a good chunk of them are, and all of them are pretty whimsical offerings, basically what you'd expect from Paul. But there's an undercurrent of sheer weirdness as well, from the insanity of Paul's vest in the "Waterfalls" video, to the fact that Linda McCartney seems so uncomfortable in front of the cameras that it's possible she had been replaced by an animatronic puppet, to the Muppet Show-like vibe of the set for the second video of "Mull Of Kintyre" (rather appropriate if Linda was indeed replaced by an animatronic puppet), to the notion that Denny Laine is one pint of lager away from keeling over anytime he appears onscreen. But, perhaps the weirdest moment of all takes place during the video for "Say, Say, Say."

"Say, Say, Say" was a huge hit for Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson in 1983. I can remember, at the time, thinking that the video had a lot to do with its success. It certainly has an interesting premise: Paul, Linda, Jacko, and some huge black guy are really terrible scam artists in the old West, with Paul acting as a barker for a drink that promises to make people incredibly strong. Michael is the incredibly fey plant who stops by to sample the potion, after which, he handily defeats the huge black guy in arm wrestling. After this demonstration of strength, everyone wants to buy the drink, and Paul and Linda make scads of money. They hightail it out of town, picking up Michael along the way, and stop at an orphanage, where Michael, naturally, plays with the small children there. Paul, Linda, and Michael then head on to some other town and act as a vaudeville-style show. It is here that the video takes a rather disturbing turn (unless you count the Michael playing with small children thing as he sings "Because I love you, baby"): Michael becomes immediately smitten with a girl that he sees at the bar, a girl who is none other than HIS OWN SISTER LaToya. I mean, that's weird, right? Things like that shouldn't happen, should they? I'll be honest, that kind of casts a dark pall over the rest of the video. His own sister! So wrong.

Heroes

2007-11-13T13:14:49Z

Lame.

Heroes

2007-11-06T15:30:11Z

I'm not rejoicing yet. Last night's episode did take some small steps towards salvaging the series, but it's still got a long way to go. And, if it turns out that there is a shortened, 11-episode second season due to that writer's strike (my official stance on that, by the way: eh, don't really care. DVD box sets should be a whole lot cheaper with less episodes, so that's nice), then this show has to REALLY improve in leaps and bounds over their last 3 or 4 episodes in order to convince me that this season was anything other than a complete and utter waste. That said...

THE GOOD:

David Anders is Sark as Adam in the title role of The Takezo Kensei Story! Granted, I had my suspicions that Kensei would make an appearance in the modern-day era of the show, and listing Anders as a series regular a few weeks ago kind of tipped the show's hand in that direction, but it was still excellent to see him show up at the end of the show in the Future/Past of Peter Petrelli's otherwise unexceptional time-tripping adventures.

Ando and Hiro's reunion. Aww. They're like a modern-day, non-Fraggle Gobo and Wembley. Friends til the end, you two! Friends til the end!

No Maya or Alejandro and their Never-Ending Journey of Eternal Yawns!

Nathan, nathaning around and inadvertantly getting Niki to stick herself with that needle. Cause...um...well...that leads me to...

THE HUH?:

I guess I was a little hazy on the whole "virus" thing. What was that all about again? There was like, one serum that took away people's powers, and one that killed them? And Mohinder's blood was supposed to be the cure but now it's not? I wasn't fully paying attention and don't feel like looking it up.

THE BAD:

When did Claire turn from one of the most responsible and mature people on the show into an insufferable brat? I haven't seen someone spiral into such a ridiculous display of lovesickness since Mrs. Garrison got rejected by Mr. Slave on South Park. Not only is West a douchebag, he's a CREEPY douchebag. Having him out of your life is a GOOD thing, Claire. A VERY GOOD THING. She, seriously, has become an idiot.

West. First of all...how many people his age are going to recognize horn-rimmed glasses over regular glasses? He's a total douchebag. I'm surprised he doesn't pop his collar. I hope West gets his nuts bit off by Mr. Muggles.

Claire's entire family. WOULD YOU PLEASE ALL FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST TELL EACH OTHER WHAT'S ON YOUR RESPECTIVE MINDS INSTEAD OF KEEPING IT A SECRET. And then train Mr. Muggles to bite West's nuts off.

So, yeah. A few moments overall that were nice, and I'm gonna guess that Elle's "Daddy" is going to turn out to be David Anders, by the way.

Check out the band I'm in.

2007-11-05T15:47:36Z

I'm in a band. I play keyboard (kind of) and sing (sometimes). We're called Go Gadget Go! and we've got a myspace page with songs and pictures and various other fun stuff. Check us out, won't you? At: http://www.myspace.com/gogadgetgo2007

Thanks!

Get It Right.

2007-11-02T23:04:14Z

Okay, screwheads, listen up, because I'm sick and tired of you getting it wrong, and I'm only gonna say this once:

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start.

It's not "A, B, A, B."
There's no "Select."
How frigging hard is it to remember?

Dear Joss Whedon

2007-11-01T16:09:38Z

Dear Joss Whedon,

I hear you recently got a seven-episode committment from FOX for a new tv series. Congratulations! As you are no doubt already aware, I was an ardent supporter of your prior tv works from the beginning. Well, mostly the beginning. I didn't get into Buffy until the finale of the first season, and then my enthusiasm for it began to wane significantly sometime during season 5, and sort of bottomed out during season 6, and never fully recovered during season 7. But aside from that, I have really, thoroughly enjoyed your work! Well, I never was all that big on Angel, actually. In fact, I skipped over a huge chunk of the third and fourth seasons, and only came back in season 5 because I had to get my Spike fix somewhere, am I right? He is one sexy vampire, after all. But aside from that, Firefly...well, no. I never got into Firefly. I watched the DVDs...mostly. I kind of fell asleep during disc one, and neglected to watch disc four, but either disc two or three was quite not bad! I do, however, love The Office, and the episode you directed definitely made me laugh out loud no less than twelve times. So, I personally cannot wait until you return as creator/producer/director/writer/show runner for this new show, Dollhouse. It sounds like you've got a great premise for a show, by having Eliza Dushku run around. Having a very pretty woman run around a lot is the main reason that I feel the show Alias was middlingly successful, and I hope you are able to duplicate its average numbers!

While on the topic of Alias, I note that your show sounds like it will have some similarities to Alias aside from the hot girl running around thing. It is with this in mind that I ask...nay, IMPLORE you, good sir, to please consider casting Jack Bristow in your show. He has sadly been out of work since Alias has ended, and I speak both for myself and the entire Jack Bristow Nation when I say that we miss him dearly. Note that I do not wish you to cast Victor Garber on your show. I want you to cast the character he played. Because, seriously, Jack Bristow was the greatest tv character ever. You might wish to debate this. Perhaps you think Lucy Ricardo was the greatest tv character ever. Well, sir, talk like that makes me want to just vomit all over your head. There is no way that Lucy would best Jack in a battle of wits or small-arms weaponry. Also, in the extremely unlikely event that Lucy was capable of subduing Jack, say, by putting his head in a vice, I am one hundred percent certain that Jack Bristow would be able to escape the vice and snap Lucy's neck while barely breaking a sweat. Could the same be said if the situation was reversed? I think not, Joss. I think not.

True, Jack Bristow blew up in the finale of Alias and is currently dead. I do not think you should let a minor setback such as this prevent you from putting this character on your show. In today's world of modern technology and nanorobots, there certainly must be a scientific method for piecing together exploded bits of Jack Bristow in order to make him whole again; fictional character or not, I would have to believe this would be a priority assignment for Science. You should get in touch with the Head Scientist (I can't do all the work for you) and find out exactly what this method is, and then use it to bring Jack back. He is the only person that I feel would be qualified to lead the Dollhouse, and the only person that I trust to get the job done, whatever it may be.

Thank you for your time, and good luck!
Mike

Free Taco

2007-10-30T19:08:55Z

Today, October 30th, 2007, is the day that everyone in America gets a free taco, courtesy of Taco Bell, between the hours of 2-5pm. This is all thanks to Red Sox outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury, who stole a base in Game 2 of the World Series, thus establishing him as both The Man Who Made It Possible For Everyone In America To Get A Free Taco, and "Tacoby Bellsbury."

The association between baseball and tacos makes sense to me. When I think of things that are quintessentially American, right at the top of the list is "baseball." A very close second in my mind would have to be "a hearty dump." And what better way to bring the top two American pasttimes together, than by offering America a taco--long hailed as The Great Facilitator of Mighty Dumps--through baseball's main event, the World Series? It's the perfect marriage. However, what started out as a grand idea has turned out to be incredibly frustrating for this red-blooded American.

There is only one Taco Bell in the vicinity of where I work. And so, at about 2:15 today, I drove past it, hoping to drive in and moments later, drive back out with a free taco in my hands. Unfortunately, this was not to be, as the Taco Bell was PACKED. I couldn't even turn onto the street it was on, due to the line of cars filing out of the parking lot, each one filled to the gills, no doubt, with my fellow Americans, each longing for their very own free taco. And who could blame them? But I sat there in my car, watching the scene, and my heart sinking. Before I left work to venture on down to the Bell, I spent some time chatting with coworkers, Scott, Tom, and Denise, and asked them what they were planning to do with their free tacos. As each of my coworkers described their own free taco wishes, their faces lit up, eyes aglow, and I can't be certain, but I'd swear that I saw a single tear of joy roll down Scott's cheek. And the most glorious thing of all about their wishes was that their dreams would actually be coming true!

And now, sadly, it appears that our dreams have all but vanished. For there shall be no taco for Scott. Nor will there be one for Tom. Nor Denise. No taco for Mike. We are, all of us, the taco-scorned. I suppose I was being kind of naive in thinking that getting a free taco would require little to no effort. I thought there'd be a Taco Bell employee standing out on the street with a whole cart full of tacos, handing them out to people as they passed by. I envisioned scores of happy people, clinking their tacos together in peace and harmony, and making the world, for a moment, a better place. It's a silly dream to have, I know, but it beats the ugly reality of people honking car horns at each other and flipping each other off while trying to get a taco. The cold, hard truth was that the free taco was bringing far more anger into the world than it was happiness. With a heavy sigh, I continued on past the Taco Bell, and drove into the McDonalds down the street. I ordered a Happy Meal, as though that might help. But I didn't feel happy. Not happy at all.

Hereos...

2007-10-30T03:28:49Z

Girlfriend of Peter: Peter, how did we...
Me: End up in a matte painting?
Peter: We're in New York.
Me: You're in a matte painting!!

Honestly, Heroes. My patience is wearing thin. The only bright spot in tonight's episode, storywise, was Mr. Bennett, as he got back to business. Plus, does Hey, It's That Guy have a subsection for Hey, It's That Russian? Because if so, hey! It's that Russian! Claire's dad is edging ever closer to Jack Bristow territory, and that's A-OK with me. One thing, though: this is the second episode since Mr. B and the Haitian Sensation went to the Ukraine. What the hell were they doing for the entirety of last episode? Just walking around, seeing the sights?

The one thing I'm worried about, is that, ok, I'm pretty sure we're going to get some sort of flashback at some point depicting what happened in the 4 months between last season's finale and where this season picked up, and I'm guessing that the "revelations" that occur during that episode, the producers really thought were going to be huge, jaw-dropping bombshells. And, well, the problem is, they won't be. Because they're going to show us more of Maya and Alejandro. Let me guess what happens: Maya freaks out and cries black shit out of her eyes, and kills people. And Alejandro learns he can suck up the black shit, and save some of those people. Got it, show. Don't care.

Claire and West decided to play a prank on a cheerleadzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Kensei going evil, though? Delicious.

Heroes again (I really have nothing else to talk about, apparently)

2007-10-23T12:55:40Z

I could be mistaken--and in fact, I am most of the time--but if memory serves, this is the very first Claire-free episode, ever (Also, I just thought of a cool title for a horror movie: If Memory SEVERS...). And I for one couldn't be happier about that. Much in the same way that Matt and Nathan spend much of this episode stuck in a nightmarish world confronting their fears, Claire has spent this whole season stuck in a nightmarish world confronting a ridiculously repetitive plotline that basically retreads the same ground from the beginning of last year. Only this time, she has a douchey boyfriend named after a direction (or, with this show's hard-on for casting Star Trek actors, it could simply be that his real name is Vest, and he's the son of Pavel Chekov). Anyway, yay to no Claire! Sorry, but you suck this year.

On to things that actually happened in this episode. Now then, Peter's still in Ireland, but The Company knows he's there. This is good for the show, because it gives Peter a reason to get back to being involved with the rest of the show. Although, I have to point out, even an amnesiac Peter should have more sense then to go to his new girlfriend's apartment, get her on the bed, and then turn around and start painting. That's not having game, son. And besides, you don't want to out-paint a painter. Huge blow to her ego right there, she's not going to want to sleep with you now. Or after her brother is burnt to a crisp thanks to Veronica Mars. Regardless, good to see Peter's story moving forward. About time.

Matt and Nathan, teaming up and trying unsuccessfully to take names! It's good to see Parkman getting involved in the storyline, and not just be Mohinder's scrappy little housewife anymore. And his dad turns out to be a little more duplicitous then I anticipated, so that's nice. Hints were dropped, things happened, it was all very exciting. I don't really remember much about it now though. So, moving on...

Hiro blah blah blah doesn't matter.

What's her face, Monica? She's grown on me a bit this week. I like her progression under the tutelage of Micah, he actually makes for a pretty good "wizened old man mentor." And, nice of Mohinder to show up and try to bring her into the Company. All good stuff.

Now, like, let's actually get to the part where cool things occur, shall we? Thank you, Heroes.

On Heroes...

2007-10-16T03:30:14Z

So, of all the characters we've met over the last two seasons, it seems that West is the first to exhibit two independent powers at the same time (without absorbing them a la Peter or Sylar): the power to fly, and the power to be a massive tool.

Now onto some spoilery stuff:

I'm digging the whole "Molly Trapped In Nightmare On Elm St.-ville" subplot, and finally the WonderTwins storyline got a much needed shot in the arm by having Dane Cook...er, I mean Sylar, show up to wreak some nice havoc, though Twin-Girl's Black Eye trigger seems to now be "the slightest inconvenience." I hate to say it, but it's starting to approach being called "wacky."

On keeping with the negative, the Boogeyman, that we've had a build-up on for the whole summer now, turns out to be...Matt's father. WTF? I'm all about Greg Grunberg getting more to do, but...Matt's father. I bet he's named Paul or something equally fear-instilling. Ooooh, creepy. Also, I'm not really happy with Micah's extended family at the moment, but I'll give them at least another week to decide for sure. Overall, not the worst episode, and I surprisingly did not miss Peter or Hiro or Sark much at all. But let's not make a habit of that, show.

The New Girl

2007-09-28T22:40:07Z

She walks into my life like a normal person walking regularly; it isn't very exciting, and I almost don't notice her. But then, suddenly, there she is, standing in front of me at the printer: the new girl. The first thing I notice about her is her face. It is a pleasant face to look at: young, round in certain spots, with a nose, and two lips. She's giving me a look that says, "Could you please move? I have to get to the printer." I give her a knowing wink and with a grin I turn on the charm.
"It's low on ink."
She stares blankly at me, her gorgeous brown eyes like giant pools of quicksand, drawing me in with no chance of escape, despite what that episode of Mythbusters tried to teach me about the relative ease of getting free from quicksand.
"What?" she asks.
I chuckle slightly, as she's fallen right into my trap. My love trap.
"P-p-printer. Ink low," I say, breaking out the sexy stammer that drives the ladies wild.
"Oh," she says flatly, having been so drained by my sexy stammer that she is spent, unable to emote.
She gently pushes past me, trying to hide her true feelings for me as she searches for a spare ink cartridge. Her left hand brushes against my arm, her touch as soft as Linus's blanket from Peanuts.
"Excuse me," she says.
Oh, my petite Brigitte Nielsen. Nothing you have done needs excusing.
"I'm Mike," I tell her, as if she doesn't already know.
"That's nice," she replies, acknowledging my exotic-sounding name.
"I probably should get back to my desk," I whisper, barely audible. Just a vocal tease to whet her appetite.
"Did you say something?" she asks, not turning away from the printer, for she knows that to look directly at me is to fall immediately in love. Even now, she is clutching the sides of the printer to support the weakness that has overcome her knees.
"What? No," I say, and give a playful laugh some might describe as sheepish. I describe it as wolfish in sheepish clothing. I hurry back to my desk, so that she might recover from our encounter.
As she walks past, I have to stifle a sob; I cry because I know she is now fully entranced and under my spell, and that eventually, I will have no choice but to break her heart. I weep for that day.

Welcome back, Sark.

2007-09-25T14:52:11Z

The Likeable Rogue character in movies and tv shows would have to place second on my all-time favorite character traits, finishing just behind Generally Good-Hearted Traitor Who Seeks Redemption And Usually Ends Up With A Snake-Bitten Head Or Arrow-Impaled Chest For His Troubles. And, on Heroes, Takezo Kensei fits the bill of Likeable Rogue quite nicely. A hero of legend to our time-traveling pal Hiro Nakamura, when Hiro discovers him in 1671 Japan, the actual Kensei is quite different than Hiro imagined. For one thing, he's British. And he's played by David Anders, of Alias fame. And there's the whole thing where he's not really a hero, but more of a scoundrel in the tradition of such characters as Han Solo in Star Wars and Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back, but not so much Han Solo in Return Of The Jedi because Han was kind of whipped by Leia at that point. Kensei has a jovial, carefree attitude, enjoys a good pee like the best of us, and talks kind of like Hugh Laurie actually talks in real life! Of course, there's the whole thing where he let a Swordsmith's daughter's father get kidnapped, but this nicely sets up a whole Redemption arc for our loveable loner. Here's hoping that Hiro can keep snakes from biting his head before Kensei discovers that friends are the greatest reward of all.