Goodbye

I wondered why my everyone was looking slightly pale yesterday, and what the odd smell was. I know; gallows humour, isn't it, to make comments like that now, after all the news today and yesterday.

I realise it's already too late, that it started being too late last night, that there's nothing anyone can do about it now; there are too many of them, and I can see it starting to affect them.

If any of you are reading this, I'm glad it hasn't taken you yet. Things here have been happening slowly; it's less metropolitan so the water is probably less polluted. It's the only reason I can think of as to why things aren't as bad here as they are in London yet, or how they are for some of you. I've been using my father's magnifying glass and some plastic bottles to heat and distill water, but I don't know whether it'll take the taint out, or whether I'll be able to produce enough for me to survive. If I can hide from the others well enough for it to be worthwhile, of course.

I don't think I'm ill yet. I can't stand the thought that I'll never see any of you again. I thought I'd see those of you who I love over the next month or year, and now it's already too late. If you can still read this, I love you. I really, really love you, and I never stopped for a moment. I hope you go well, and with your own minds.

I don't know whether I'll be able to stand to come back on here, if the internet stays operational; I don't think I could stand to see those of you who're commenting or posting now not post anymore, and know how and why you've gone. I wish I could kill myself, but I don't know to do it so that I don't come back.