Let's Talk About S e x

The last time we engaged in bedsport it had felt new and fresh and exciting again. 

I guess the humdrum days of work and laundry and lessons (I'm back to my online classes) and just being a responsible adult can take its toll on one's sex life. 

I've also been listening to a bunch of raunchy audiobooks. They're romance books, I suppose... with titles like The Duke Goes Down (Sophie Jordan), Love is a Rogue (Lenora Bell) and other similarly titillating titles; but the line between romance and smut is a very fine one... quim, cunny, cock and clit feature quite regularly. The beauty of audiobooks is that the narrator also provides the gasping, moaning, and other lascivious sounds of two people coupling. And it can be very, very erotic.

Which brought me to my recent request for BIKSS to go ahead and revive his dominant side. He is TOO polite, methinks, in that his natural instinct is NOT to take / push / demand. Instead I've often found myself either 1) asking if we're gonna get jiggy wit' it, or 2) making it very apparent and taking the lead and initiating sex. 

It surprised me a little when his dominant side showed itself a little last Thursday. Suffice it to say there was some nipple pinching and neck grabbing and hair pulling. And a 'good girl' thrown in for good measure. 

Just goes to show that you gotta keep talking about the sex you're having and the sex you want. Even though you know each other in that arena so well, even though you've said this is what you want (D/s), that you will submit... whatever it is... it's important to remember to always keep the conversation going. 

 

Macau Mania Part 2

I meant to come back sooner. But life got hectic. 

I ended up seeing yet another physiotherapist cos my backache was getting in the way of a proper night's sleep. And I'm fine tolerating the 'expected' pains and aches that come with getting older, but when it starts messing up my sleep, then something's gotta get done.

Anyway I had a good session with some low and high frequency shockwave therapy, and some ultrasound (therapeutic, not diagnostic) treatment. I see her again in 3 weeks' time. So hopefully it'll be an option I can afford for the next 3-6 mths while my back muscles get sorted out. 

On the bright side, at least it's only muscle problems and not something more nefarious. 

And on the topic of affording it, I've been on the phone with my insurance guy cos they've recently made some changes to our national insurance scheme and everyone's a little bit concerned about losing coverage. In addition I've taken a closer look at my long term hospital and retirement plans, which is currently a combination of government-supported and private insurance options. I think I'm good, as long as no major hiccups befall me between now and the time I hit age 65! 

In this regard, can I just say how helpful Google AI has been! It would have taken me a lot longer than the 3 hours I spent working out a manageable financial plan that won't bankrupt NOW me, while still giving FUTURE me some kind of workable pension, so to speak. It's kinda like our version of the 401(K). 

But that's done. So I'm glad. 

And now, mo' peeeektures!! It is ALL about the food! This is day 3.

We walked past this little bakery the day before, and saw a bunch of people streaming in and out in an unending line... this time, I decided to go in. The owner, a lovely rotund older woman recommended their fluffy sugar bread. So we tried it. It was indeed very fluffy - light, and delightfully eggy! It was dusted with sugar, which I expected to be too sweet, but surprisingly, it was perfectly balanced. There was also a pork chop sausage bun. It was something we decided to get because I needed some protein with all that sugar. 

We made an unplanned stop at the chapel in the Instituto Salesiano, to venerate the statue that holds a relic of St. John Bosco. The sister read about it the night before, and so we added it into our day's tour.

And then it was off to Taipa for the lot of us! A quick 20 minute bus ride got us there in relative comfort. It got crowded along the way, but we managed to get seats when we first got on, so it was fine.

Pepper bread. It's basically Minchee in a bun. I wasn't terribly impressed. It was more a "been there done that" sorta thing. 

Then we went on a Tart Tasting adventure. That is to say, I located a famous traditional tart shop, and we ordered one of everything. 

Clockwise from bottom - 

bird's nest tart (meh), 

cheese tart (delish!), 

coconut tart(good if you enjoy coconut- I don't so it wasn't something I enjoyed), 

traditional egg custard tart (like from a dim sum restaurant-decent, fragrant), 

milk tart (soft and delicate, I would eat it again), 

and baked Portuguese egg tart (one of the better ones I reckon).

And then we went to a slightly more modern market-building place, indoors, air conditioned, with food stalls, produce, and even a wet market. The eating spaces were on the second floor, so that's where we went. This was a waffle and sushi fused into one. It was so strange we had to try it. It's waffle batter in the shape of a rubber clog slipper thing, filled with cheese, ham, rice(!), beans and some kind of mayo. IT WAS STRANGE! .. but not unpleasant.

Lord Stow's Bakery - the egg tart that started it all. It's supposed to be the best, the original...

"Lord Stow's Bakery, founded by Englishman Andrew Stow on September 15, 1989, in Coloane, Macau, is famous for creating the iconic Macanese Portuguese-style egg tart. Combining British custard tarts with Portuguese pastéis de nata, the bakery's fresh, additive-free treats gained cult status, making it a must-visit Macau landmark."

I am sad to announce that this ranked last in the Macau egg tart quest! It was oily and small and really didn't make me feel anything except regret for having spent the money to purchase it. And for using up my calorie quota in consuming it. 

Just above this one is also another cult favourite - the texture was pretty good, but it was SO sweet I was this close to grabbing the sister's insulin pen just to boost my own glucose metabolism. 

This was the first egg tart I had in Macau that came with the option to sprinkle some sugared cinnamon on the top tho', so it gets bonus points for that. There was too much custard, not enough tart. Look at it, you can hardly see any pastry!

"Founded in 2014 in Lisbon, Manteigaria is considered one of Portugal's premier pastel de nata producers. The brand expanded to Macau to satisfy local demand for authentic tarts, operating as a "factory" where customers can watch the artisans work."

Right, aside from egg tarts, there was this pretty little shop selling canned fish. Tinned fish. I dunno what you call it. But there was many many many little tin cans of fish. And fish puree. And fish pâté. And we went a little bit mad getting a bunch of things. 

Outside the shop there's a big ol' version of that Macau fish that I am so amused by. 

For some reason it fills me with giggly tickles. 

So when I saw this magnet at the souvenir shop, I didn't hesitate one bit.

Next up - more noodles. This was one of the recommended stops in Taipa. Some reviewers said the pork chops were oily, tasteless, and over-priced. So I warned the others, then we braced ourselves and stepped into the shop anyway. 

The noodles were delicious, the pork chops were generously portioned, and we even dared to try this steamed squid and curry sauce dish that was entirely weird, but also delicious! It's apparently the birthplace of the famous Macau Pork Chop Bun. If you ever find yourself in Macau, give it a try. 

大利來記

Tai Lei Loi Kei

Here's another MUST-EAT treat. Sei Kee Cafe is known for their claypot brewed coffee. We tried some. It wasn't anything fancy. It tasted like any regular coffee. Meh. 

They did have a chilli/spicy pulled fish pork bun. Now THAT was really good. I'm not even sure who would have thought to combine these things together, but whoever it was, they were genius! 

Here's the loot from the day - besides the fish-in-a-cans I also picked up some palmiers and cheese (mainly cos they were cheap, like 1/3 the price of what it costs at home, and not because it was a specialty of the place...)

We took an inclined lift down from the Grande Hill

View from the top of the Grande Hill

Mt Carmel Church

"Since 2015, the procession of Our Lady of Carmel has taken place on 8th December each year at the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. The festive event starts at the Our Lady of Carmel Church in Taipa where devout Catholics participate in prayerful processions, reciting the Rosary in various languages including Chinese, Portuguese, and English, imploring world peace and the conversion of sinners."

After all the eating and walking around Taipa, we finally made our way to Cotai to look at the grand hotels. 

The Venetian Hotel and Casino in Cotai. It's bright and huge and beautiful to look at across the water.

Grand Lisboa Palace... and a 'flower arrangement in the lobby'. 

I mean, technically, it's accurate. But what a lot of space it took up!

View from the skycab at Wynn Palace

1 of 2 big ass dragons

And finally, dinner at the Grand Lisboa foodcourt. Which is beside a supermarket which is where I bought my cheap cheese wedges. I will say, they do their roast meats and beef brisket really well over in Hongkong and Macau. Superb! 

I'll be back. But for now, I shall leave you with a video of a Very Golden Loo - 

This is Wynn Palace, Cotai.

Macau Mania Part 1

Days 1 and 2 of our Macau trip - get ready for a photo dump! 

We got there after 10pm. The wind was whipping and the weather was brilliant! Dry, crisp, cold. A far cry from the humid heat in where-I-live. We were glad for it. This was at the Cathedral Cafe near our hotel. Portuguese pizza (which is just olives cheese and some kind of Portuguese sausage, a medium steak which they sliced up for us cos the guy realised we were sharing, and a Portuguese pork and clam stew - "Porco à Alentejana is a classic Portuguese dish featuring marinated pork cubes, clams, fried potatoes, and a savory garlic-white wine broth, often garnished with cilantro and pickles." The sliced baguette that came with it was the perfect balance of toasted and crispy crust + soft and fluffy inside.

The next morning we walked past the Dom Pedro V Theatre to get to ... 

Sunday Mass at St Augustine's Church

Which was very near the St Joseph's Seminary. It was closed to visitors, so we walked around outside. The plaque on the floor says Macau has been dedicated to Our Lady, which is not surprising since Catholic tradition here is predominantly Marian in nature.

St Lawrence's Church, in St Lawrence Parish. It was interesting that the districts shown on the map of Macau are all named for this or that saint, and indeed the church of the named saint can often be found within said district. Also of note, a lot of the churches seem to sport this yellowy colour. 

According to TimeOut - 

Many churches in Macau are yellow as part of a Portuguese colonial architectural tradition, specifically referencing Baroque styles popular during the 17th-century expansion of Catholicism. The pastel yellow façades, often paired with white mouldings and green shutters, reflect a blend of European, Mediterranean, and local Macanese aesthetic influences.

Lunch at Restaurant Solmar wasn't fantastic. These were some of their recommended dishes, African chicken (bottom left) and ox tail stew (middle right)... some fried fish with a medley of veggies in some kind of Portuguese style sauce (top right), and on the bottom left is a potato-fish cutlet thing. Top left is some mixed veggie dish which had a delicious umami fish sauce seasoning. 

Honestly, nothing jumped out at me. It was mostly just savoury, with obvious addition of tomatoes in some form, and the standard South East Asian aromatics like ginger, onion and garlic. I decided after this that we wouldn't be stepping into any more Macanese or Portuguese eateries. 

My first egg tart at Koi Kei Bakery. It was delicious. We get them in where-I-live too, so it's not like I've never had one. But this was, I suppose, more authentic, if by 'authentic' one means it's bought at the source. And so eat them we did. By the end of the trip I was a bit done with egg tarts tho. Still, this was a good one to start with. Light eggy custard, not too sweet, flakey and crispy crust, and not very expensive. 

This was the INSIDE of said bakery. I will say, they are VERY generous with their samples. I can't imagine all the germs flying about... but then the cookies and snacks were gone so quickly, I suppose there wasn't enough time for them germs to land on them. One lady got upset at me for not wanting to try the crispy egg roll she proferred. So I took it in the end. It was pretty yummy, but we were heading elsewhere and didn't want to lug souvenir snacks with us just yet. We did have at least 3 more days to go and didn't want to commit just yet.

Next stop - the Holy House of Mercy Museum. What I liked - the artifacts. What I didn't like - there was NO explanation for ANYTHING. The items were all numbered but there was nothing anywhere telling you what any of the numbered items were. Tsk. We did manage to see the text on the painting above - it's a local representation of St Anthony, often pictured with the infant Jesus and a lily. Sometimes seen preaching to a fish or mule... so I'm not sure what THAT creature is that he's sitting on, but the image clearly names St Anthony of Padua.

Parish offices (above) and the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Nativity (below)

Got us a melted durian pork chop bun along the way... this is novel even for me! Never had durian in a savoury bun before. 

We also had some specialty noodles from the highly recommended  Wong Chi Kei noodle house

 

Dumpling noodles (top left) tasted the way I expected it to

Shrimp roe noodles (top right) were too dry... and smelled a little bit too much like the sea

Crab meat soup noodles (bottom left) were interesting, never had it before... and the crab meat serving was pretty generous 

Deep fried mega huge wantons - too much flour, too little filling. And it wasn't like a wanton skin either. The dough was oily and left a sandy texture after chewing. We each abandoned our wantons as soon as we got to the middle.

St Dominic's Church. By this time I was a little (a lot) annoyed at the BIL for his inane comments and responses to anything we said. Like, for example, I'd mention that all the churches seem to be painted yellow. His answer to that was "Of course, that's because they have to paint them yellow." 

I mean, what the fuck was that? You'd be better off just not replying me. Or rather, *I'D* be better off.

Or, when I said, "My Goodness, the church is smack in the middle of the shopping street, between two shophouses." His answer was "Yeah, that's the plan." What? WHAT PLAN? 

I really couldn't stop myself from rolling my eyes every time he opened his mouth to say something. He's the king of just saying a thing with no fact behind it or no basis AT ALL for saying it, and just be all smug and assured about his response. Like he'd just solved the world's most puzzling riddle. TSK!

Anyway, he walked slow, not cos he's old, but cos he's just annoying like that... and CAN walk quickly and keep pace if he wanted to. He just prefers to say "What's the rush?" every time the sister tried to hurry him up. In the end we were running behind schedule (we were behind schedule EVERY SINGLE DAY) and had to skip a couple of museums (they close at 6) so by the time we hit this church, I didn't feel like going in anymore. Besides, it was already 10 min to 6 and Mass was due to begin soon. 

Eventually we made it to the Na Tcha Temple, which is this little tiny thing, and the wall beside it is one of the remaining walls of um, "Old City Walls". Which is a tourist attraction LOL. You can read about them HERE.  The Macau tourism office gives this little description : 

The Section of the Old City Walls in Macau are remnants of 16th and 17th-century Portuguese defensive fortifications, primarily built using a, durable, local rammed-earth technique called chunambo.

After a million fotos at the Ruins of St Paul, we headed down the steps to Lemoncello Gelato.

CG1 and I shared a double cone - I cannot remember what flavours we got, but it was very good!

They're also very big on their coconut ice cream. I tried a little tub, but it wasn't something I enjoyed. There were little bits of grated coconut in the ice cream, and I'm NOT a fan of that. Ended up giving it to the sister and BIL. He would eat ANYTHING! LOL.

Loot from the first day out - we ended up at a supermarket near our hotel... and I found a lot of the same sort of snacks that were being sold in Koi Kei for a fraction of the price. Just goes to show, it's ALL about the tourist trap. These were 1/3 the cost at the supermarket. And after I got home and we broke into them, we found that they were JUST as delicious! 

And now I shall leave you with a video of the night we arrived. These are the casinos and hotels on the Macau Peninsula (Macau City), many of which have "sister" hotels in Cotai (see map below).

Think of this as the "serious" or original gambling spots, wheres the Cotai hotels are more fancy and touristy, with replicas of famous well known landmarks ... but more on that in the days to come!

The Workout After Meals Weight Loss Hack

The facts - menopause is causing me to gain weight SUPER easily; regular dieting and walking isn't working as effectively anymore; and I'm terrified of putting on more than I can lose as a long term sitch.

From Healthline -

After menopause, declining estrogen often increases ghrelin (hunger hormone) while causing leptin resistance (satiety hormone), leading to increased appetite, weight gain, and abdominal fat storage. Ghrelin increases hunger and can rise with menopause, while leptin levels often increase due to higher fat mass but fail to suppress appetite efficiently, creating a hormonal imbalance that challenges weight management.

From UChicago Medicine - 

Lower estrogen levels and aging cause a slower metabolism, loss of calorie-burning muscle mass, and increased abdominal fat storage. These shifts mean the body requires fewer daily calories, making it easier for extra calories to lead to weight gain.

From Better Health Channel - 

Reduced oestrogen hormone levels can cause fat to be stored around your waist rather than on your hips and thighs. In postmenopausal women, belly fat accounts for 15% to 20% of their total body weight, compared with 5% to 8% in premenopausal women.

So basically the system that tells us we don't want more food is broken (leptin!), the system that breaks down the calories is lagging (less muscle mass), and the system that allocates the fats is malfunctioning (more belly fat). 

These are all post-menopausal factors... but there is ONE factor that I did not know much about until last week. 

And that is that when you eat, your body produces insulin to manage the sugar in your bloodstream. The interesting thing is HOW insulin is keeping that blood sugar at a stable level. It has to go somewhere right? Fat. That's how. It adds to your fat stores, while preventing existing fat stores from being broken down. 

From Second Nature - 

Insulin stores fat by acting as a "storage hormone" that triggers the conversion of surplus blood glucose into triglycerides for fat cells (adipose tissue) while simultaneously blocking the breakdown of existing body fat. When blood sugar rises—often from high-carbohydrate meals—insulin spikes to facilitate this storage process. 

I suppose I should have come across this somewhere sooner, given that having a high triglycerides (TG) reading was a precursor to becoming diabetic (DM). And since DM runs rampant in my extended family, my doctor at the time warned me to 'eat like a diabetic' cos my TG was thru the roof. I don't know why and how I had never come across anything that drew the connection for me... but better late than never I suppose. This is how it works - 

Key Fat Storage Mechanisms of Insulin:

Glucose Conversion: When glycogen stores in muscles and the liver are full, insulin converts surplus glucose into fat.

Fat Storage Activation: Insulin promotes the uptake of fatty acids into fat cells (lipogenesis).

Fat Burning Blockade: High levels of insulin inhibit hormone-sensitive lipase, the enzyme needed to break down fat for energy.

Appetite Stimulation: Elevated insulin can stimulate hunger, leading to higher food consumption and continued storage. 

Chronic high insulin levels, common in refined carbohydrate diets, keep the body in a "storing" mode rather than a "burning" mode, making it difficult to burn fat.

Of course the mechanisms of insulin secretion, adipose tissue increase, the possible negative feedback loop in hypersecreters (there is such a thing) and the blocking of existing fatty tissue being used for fuel etc are ALL highly nuanced and complicated... HOWEVER there IS one thing that could be universally beneficial for EVERYONE regardless of where you are on your health / diabetic / insulin producing journey - and that is to MOVE your MUSCLES immediately after a MEAL. 

From the NIH - 

Walking for 10–30 minutes immediately after eating is highly effective for weight loss, as it helps metabolize food faster, reduces blood sugar spikes, and prevents calorie storage. A brisk, short post-meal walk is more effective at aiding weight loss and boosting metabolism than waiting an hour, according to a 2011 study.

What this means - 

Start walking or doing big-muscle exercises immediately after a meal. Within the half hour, if possible, or else definitely before an hour has passed as this is the time insulin hits its peak output. The less insulin your body needs to produce to deal with glucose floating around your bloodstream, the less fat you're likely to accumulate, and the easier it becomes for existing fat stores to get broken down when you DO exercise or need energy at other times. It's a double win for NOT adding to the fat stores as well as making existing fat more readily available to be broken down. 

If walking around the block is your preferred mode of exercise, go for it! (A brisk walk is always better than a leisurely stroll, but even that is better than donig nothing but lounging on the couch!)

But if, like me, you'd rather just do whatever you can without having to leave the house then a small-space exercise routine could work just as well (if not better). 

Think air (or half) squats, half or full lunges (or whatever depth you can manage, especially if you have terrible knees like BIKSS), and reverse or straight up calf raises (I like beginning on my tip toes and then alternately stepping each heel to the floor as if I'm 'climbing' stairs but without actually going anywhere). Alternate these exercise with marching in place, knee lifts or side steps to prevent muscle fatigue. 

Pictures for reference and alternate versions of the standard exercises :

1. SQUATS

If you're able to do a full squat, go for it. I can't so this is as far down as I go.

Use a wall for support if that's more comfortable.

2. LUNGES

I like a side lunge but I also switch it up to include forward lunges.

Again, using something for support can be beneficial.

3. CALF RAISES

My version of calf raises looks something like this, except I don't use a step. 

But if you have a staircase in your house this could be easy enough to replicate on the bottom step.

Calf raises can also be done while seated ... so that's another alternative if standing is difficult.

4. KNEE LIFTS

Knee lifts require balance so I tend to prefer being next to a counter top just in case I need support.

And of course you can do these seated as well.

5. SIDE STEPS / STEP TOUCH

This is a step touch in aerobic circles - "Stand with feet together. 

Step out with one foot then bring the opposite foot in to touch. Repeat on the other side."

A side step is basically just 2 (or a few) of those. It literally is just walking sideways. 

The added benefit of this exercise is that it improves stability and balance too! 

(Use a bar / counter top / back of sofa for extra support if required.)

6. JUMPING JACKS / SIDE STEP JACKS

If you're fitter than I am you could probably add in 20-30 seconds of jumping jacks (if that doesn't upset your tummy immediately after a meal) but I would probably stick with a lower impact version known as the side step jack:

1 Stand upright, feet together, arms down.

2 Make a side step with one foot while raising your arms above your head.

3 Bring the foot and your arms back to the starting position.

4 Do the same thing on the other side.

If you did each exercise for about 30 seconds, with left and right lunges counting as separate exercises for example, and 'rested' with a march in place for 30 seconds in between each one, you'd have moved for anywhere between 5 and 10 mins (depending on whether you did one or both versions of each exercise) without having to reach for any equipment, go out to the gym, change your clothes, or even break a sweat if you're in a cool enough room. This is MY preferred option.

Doing this immediately after meals (2-3x a day) sucks the glucose from your bloodstream, preventing an insulin spike which can then increase insulin resistance over time, but you can also add in these exercise 'snacks' every couple of hours throughout the day to boost metabolism, build more lean muscle (which uses up calories and sugars more effeciently) and keep weight gain at bay more effortlessly than say, going out for a 40-60 min walk every morning or every night. 

From NIH - 

A shorter walk shortly after eating is often more effective for managing blood sugar and weight than a longer walk hours later. Walking 20 minutes right after a meal prevents glucose spikes and reduces fat storage, while walking 2-3 hours later is less effective for blood sugar management.

CAVEAT - 

Empty stomach walking is considered the better option for maximum fat oxidation. So if you are generally quite fit, have a fair amount of lean muscle and are not struggling with 'unexplained' weight gain, then stick to a routine that is working for you. 

However, for those of us who are just adding on the pounds by merely thinking about a chocolate cake, or find that it's taking more and more effort to lose vacation weight or are becoming experts at moving the needle upwards after any holiday meal, then preventing the insulin spike might be the first step to preventing MORE fat from getting stored in the first place.

Once that routine has been established, more efficient fat depletion can follow by adding in a longer empty-stomach walk twice a week to use up all that previously-hoarded fat! 

It kinda makes sense, you can't use up existing fat stores if you're constantly adding to it after every meal.

Here are some links for related reading - 

10-Minute Walk After Meals: Does It Really Help Blood Sugar?

Why Exercise Right After Meals Works Miracles

Walking Before or After Meals: Which Is Better?

Walking After Eating: Benefits, Timing, and Best Practices

HAPPY WALKING!