Lost Between Dodge City & Narn

Sound of Silence

flarn_chef — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 14:56:13 GMT

The good thing about being deaf in one ear, is not hearing the car crash at 4am that hit three cars and seared off the fire hydrant.

The bad thing about hearing loss is not hearing the firetruck, ambulance and police cars, after the car crash at 4am that hit three cars and seared off the fire hydrant.

Time April's On

flarn_chef — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 13:51:19 GMT

Feeding an extra 20 hungry Nuns this weekend, from as far away as New Mexico and Hawaii. The group is making arrangements/plans for this summer's
'chapter' gathering. I'm not exactly sure what this all entails, but there will be over 250 visiting Sisters from hither and yon.
Am exhausted just thinking about it.....

I will not take back all the mean spirited things I have said about my boss. He is still an over paid putz.
BUT I do feel bad for him... now that he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Many things are up in the air because he has no idea how long he may be off, or even if he'll be able to come back.

There is only six weeks left until the mammoth Jubilee next month. We expect hundreds for that festivity. *sigh*

For the record.... I never wanted my boss dead.. just elsewhere, in another healthcare facility's kitchen.

I am totally and terribly addicted to RuPaul's Drag Race and am thrilled that a local queen is in the top three!
Gaga for Needles
I *heart* Sharon
Beautiful, Spooky and Stupid..... but the stupid part seems to only be a selling tool.

Now..................... off to work with my old self.

Another Day, Another $1.29

flarn_chef — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 18:57:26 GMT

Sister Rosemond passed away very early Saturday morning. She was 98 and pretty much until the end, was mentally better than I'll probably be ... in five years.

When I first started working with the Sisters, I was forewarned of there moods. Being a secular heathen, I feared what that meant. At first glance, Sr Rosemond looked like the A-typical caricature of what I'd seen in movies or heard comedians speak of. She was one of the few that still wore the helmet, I mean veil, seemed to always have a stern look and was generally quiet.

Being the queen of the one liners when I'm nervous, I blurted out something (most likely screwy, flighty or vaguely cryptic) as I helped another Sister to Rosemond's table. Shit just flies outta my mouth way before my brain has had a chance to review it.
Rosemond was the only one that laughed.
My chatter often caused her to roll her blue gray eyes that were near hidden behind her glasses.....

Due to recent dietary restrictions, her favorite food was banned from her life.
Dark Chocolate
I used to slide her some when we had tapioca for desert. She seemed to be about the only Nun that didn't think tapioca was nirvana. One of my co-workers placed a tiny foil wrapped piece of dark chocolate in the coffin next to the small pillow that held Rosemond's ... ummmm... 'married to Jesus' ring.

Long and the short of it..... I volunteered/offered to help later today for the funeral. Overtime and respect are good things....

flarn_chef — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 13:23:29 GMT

There were some beautiful days this past week, so one afternoon I took a short walk through the convent cemetery.
I counted thirty-eight Sisters having passed since I began working at the Motherhouse.
So many that touched my heart......
We haven't had a funeral in sometime, which gets my little head to thinking we could lose a bumper crop soon.
With two already over one hundred and a few more on the threshold of their own milestone birthdays.....

*sigh*

Gonna be a big Jubilee this year.....
Sister Pauline and Sister Catherine both celebrate their 75th anniversary.
Seventy-five years as a Nun....... boggles the mind,
and of theirs work better than mine sometimes!
.

RL..... Really?

flarn_chef — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 13:49:14 GMT

"When is your Easter this year?"
*rolls eyes*

It is the younger Nuns (the ones between 70 & 80) that can't seem to remember that Jews don't celebrate Easter. The one's well over 80 get it right .......or they just can't recall who I am.
Every year at Christmas and Easter, I have to remind some of the girls that Jews don't believe in Christ.
Yes, they are shocked.
Many are relieved and some amused when I tell them that we do believe that Jesus was a fabulous carpenter.

So there is a local free paper called The Green Sheet..... and it is green, the cover page at least. It is filled with silly nonsense like the horoscope, occasional Ring Wing rants, Ghost sightings, DVD release dates along with other useless info. The rest of the paper is chock filled with crappy job ads, vehicles for sale, garage/yard sales and an endless list of 'stuff' for sale.

Now the usual finds are clothes..... either sizes so tiny or so huge it is laughable.
Engagement rings for sale... only worn once.
Fix-r-upper houses for sale OR rent to own.
Fish tanks, free kittens, exercise equipment, furniture, computers, auto parts and the like...

Last week had some curious items...
12 ft "professional grade" stripper pole
and another listing....
Full body harness, 10 ft ladder and a small aluminum stage

Winters are boring here, so I guess spring cleaning is starting early with the hope of outdoor entertainment

Now?

flarn_chef — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 16:48:14 GMT

Still fuzzy, but can you see it now?

And This Too Shall Pass

flarn_chef — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 15:31:13 GMT

A radio announcer once said.....
"It you don't like the weather in Pittsburgh, wait 5 minutes and it will change."

That quote wasn't truer yesterday.
Watching from the wall of windows in the kitchen of the Motherhouse, I observed the day go from brisk & sunny to blizzard-like white out to sunny with white fluffy clouds to ominous yellow gray with dark angry clouds to something like sleet.

I saw snow cover all the grass by the cemetery, only to be melted in minutes by the sun.
Unfortunately, by the time I left work the sun had just set and there was a good inch or so of heavy wet snow ob my car.

Did the Mayan's warn use about this, or was it Al Gore?

Ups and Downs

flarn_chef — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:19:10 GMT

Boss wasn't in yesterday...but will be in today.

It is supposed to go up to 66 this afternoon...... but snow & rain are predicted this evening, with a low of 36.

Regained my energy, seeming recovered from bronchitis..... now am being entertained by a stomach virus.

Bob got the re-sized Sadie Hawkins Day ring I gave him back from the jeweler.....

Crappy phone pic, but it is a blue topaz.
Now the Nuns wanna know where mine is.

So Here I Am.....

flarn_chef — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 21:02:02 GMT

Took today and possibly tomorrow off.

Bob had a cataract/lens replacement procedure this morning. At the moment, he has one giant anime eye pupil and is shrinking from the light in 'Anne Rice character' fashion.

While he was... having his eye poked...... *g*.... I used his laptop and worked on fanfic, so I got something accomplished.

I'll hopefully head on home tomorrow, after he has a next day checkup. I'm sure violetteapot109 is ready to get home to her animal children and kitty boy, Galen is tired of hiding under my bed.

....and I'm bored.

Back to the Routine

flarn_chef — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 01:26:00 GMT

I knew the boss was gonna blame me for his cold.....
It is what he does. He is incredibly predictable.

The first day I was back, he wasn't there. I was told that he had a doctor's appointment.
So he called after seeing the doctor to tell me I gave him my cold.

The evil streak in my grew wide and I got to say what I'd planed on telling him, when I was accused.

"I didn't give you your cold. I have bronchitis. Besides, if I was gonna give you anything, it'd be something like the Black Plague. It is much easier to deal with...... you just die."

Hahaha.... yah, I know.... I'm just full of sugary venom.

Yesterday and today he left early. I felt blessed.

Heigh Ho Heigh Ho

flarn_chef — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 14:49:06 GMT

I shall make an attempt to return to work today.
This is the first day that my temperature has been normal in a week and a half.

I already know for a fact that a number of Nuns have been asking about my well being.
'Being,' I can attest to, but the 'well' part is still questionable.

Wanna go back to bed.
No surprise at that thought..

Thx hoperomantic for my lil' gifty!

Be Careful What You Wish For

flarn_chef — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 19:34:26 GMT

Oh how I wanted to get out of spending Wednesday, trapped in a car with my boss.
Problem solved.... I called off sick.
The malady I wished for has lingered on, so I have yet to 'play' work this week.

Unfortunately, there will be another Wednesday in the not too distant future, that I will have to spend with my illustrious supervisor.

Those closest to me think I should just take of the rest of the week. I just hate using up my PTO hours on something other than a vacation time.

*sigh*
*wheeeeze*
*wheezy sigh*

Colo(u)r Me Sick

flarn_chef — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 13:47:36 GMT

AGAIN....
I foolishly never made time to get a flu shot.
So I'm suffering from flu-like symptoms...

*wheeeeeeze*

THEN again.....
Perchance my malady is enhanced by the knowledge that I am to spend the whole day with my boss, checking out other healthcare facilities.
...for creative ideas to use at the Motherhouse.
I know the first place we are gonna visit is a retirement community et. al, where the inhabitants are worth millions to afford to live there.

My co-worker went with him last week, and now it is my turn......
to be trapped in his car with him for eight hours.

This Jew will be offering a couple of prayers to her unofficial patron saint, Saint Jude.....
the patron saint of lost causes.

Grrrrrrroundhog Day

flarn_chef — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:34:32 GMT

Damn fat rodent saw his shadow....again.....
Supposedly six more weeks of winter.
Hell, we've barely had six weeks of winter weather period this season.

My boss is having us save all the aluminum foil we use, to fund a Christmas party. He is so incredibly cheap. Every time we add to the pile, one of us says, "Ooooo... that's another potato chip's worth!"

One of my co-workers pointed out that the world as we know it is to come to an end in October, so I suggested an
end of the universe party.
We can party like it's..... year one.

Near Faux Pas

flarn_chef — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 03:11:19 GMT

Ninety-six year old Sister Mary Jaskel has been feeling under the weather.
She is sharper than a tack and though she seems to have a regal stance about her, she is very down to
earth.

I adore chatting with her at the end of the day. We both share stories about our lives.
Since she wasn't feeling well, another Nun was going to deliver her dinner to her room.
When I questioned the meal order, Sister Michelle gave me for Sr Mary, she told me to call her in her room,
and then gave me the wrong extension number.

Sr Michelle is loving dotty and sweet......

After getting the correct extension from the switchboard, I went over Sister's meal order. She surprised me
by asking for a few things I didn't think she'd eat and then turned down the one thing I thought she would want....
custard pie.

I don't know the connection, but she said she has never been able to eat custard pie since she had Typhoid,
back when she first joined the order. She explained that the Nun doing the cooking was the carrier and was immune.
Many of the women got sick and about a dozen died. I was too busy holding my tongue, trying not to blurt out...
"OMG.. I'm talking to Typhoid Mary!" to realize that this happened around 1934 when she was nineteen or so..

I often forget her age and the history she has lived through.

Farewell Lunch

flarn_chef — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 19:49:59 GMT

Had a lovely 2 hour delicious Asian lunch with Bob's daughter and son-in-law.
They are moving to San Diego at the end of the week, because he got a job there with Lockheed.(I think)
I also think they will be happier in the land of sunshine, now that they are both Vegetarian/Vegan-ish exercise freaks.

My lunch included: baby bok choy,
plucked quietly from their bok choy bassinets and happily tossed with sesame seeds.

I want more... now!

It's My Friday!

flarn_chef — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:26:42 GMT

The end of another screwy week. I was so wired for sound (sans diet Coke) at the end of the day yesterday, that I told a nun apologizing for being late for dinner that it was "no problem.... I'm in a fabulous mood, so enjoy it while you can. I know I am!"

html=Having the Mental Lack

flarn_chef — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:29:25 GMT

So I redid my header, making it a little bigger.....
I still can't figure out how t center the gosh darn thing or even if I should be deleting the notes from the designer.

Well, at least I can pride myself in the knowledge that I speak English better than most Americans....
When I want to.

Weathered Weather

flarn_chef — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:57:38 GMT

Is the pre-shifting of the polar axis, that damn Mayan prediction, or the three day a week visits to the chiropractor that is making me cranky over the rapid temperature changes?!?

Today is will be in the 50's..... tomorrow back down into the 20's or below.

The chiropractor seems to be helping, though hours after the session I feel like 1,000 monkeys jumped up & down on me.
In the long run, the financial cost is gonna hurt a might at $120 a week, but at least I got my amusing disposition back for the Nuns.

The magic spell has broken and the dog is hiding under my desk in fear. Guess the new neighbors are having a bad day because they're slamming and banging things.... making my walls shake.
Or maybe they are building the Panama Canal in their basement.

Thank You Mutha Nature

flarn_chef — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 15:19:14 GMT

Finally... winter arrived......
I had to pry my frozen car door open with a screwdriver.
ARGH!

Special Forces

flarn_chef — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:31:25 GMT

Few knew that Betty White is a Jedi master.....
The Darkside vs the Whiteside.....
Her laser swords put the finishing touches on her cutting wit.

"No Luke, I'm not your damn grandmother...... I'm Darth Ytteb of Ethiw and if the Sith fits......."

Da 'V'orce is Mit Me....

flarn_chef — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 02:30:37 GMT

My new friends in the new year....
VICODIN and VALIUM.

No va va va voom here.
Sleep... sleep..... 'V's will make me sleeeeeep.

No work for me today.
Saw my PCP and a chiropractor yesterday.....
Now I'm in stooopid and don't feel no pains.

Will try the work thing on the morrow..... after another chiropractor/TENS bend and zap.

Off to get up close and personal with an ice pack.

No Running Start Here

flarn_chef — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 14:49:39 GMT

The new year has already begun in a curious manner.

High winds on Sunday blew out an electrical transformer, so the Motherhouse was functioning on generator power. This means only select things work...... like the outlet to the soft ice cream machine was down and the hard ice cream machine was fine. In the kitchen, the gas ovens worked, but the exhaust fans don't. The lighting in the main dining room was on emergency power, lending itself to a rather romantically dark dinner meal.

Of course, one of the two elevators was out...... and poor 94 year old Sister Mary Jaskel was trapped in the unheated blackened discomfort of the non-functioning one for an hour. She was cold but in feisty spirits, when she finally showed up for dinner; opting to take her meal alone, in the better lit small dining room saying, "They can eat in the dark..... I've already had my fun for the day!"

She ended up entertaining a constant flux of Sisters, while she ate. All concerned with her ordeal and well being, but there was a lot of laughter.

Laughter has not been part of my routine, thus far in this new year. I have been enjoying the company of an angry sciatic nerve. All of Monday was spent watching a GUNSMOKE marathon on Encore Westerns..... with a icepack on my back, with a heating pad on my back, with kitties sleeping on my legs and on occasion.... with my eyes closed. Work should be interesting today.

I picked up my new cros hearing device yesterday and am more than curious to see/hear how it fares at work. Part of me is very excited...... it has reminded me of a moment, the year before last, in Dodge City, when I very frustrated me shared a rather whinny woe is me moment with a couple of GS pards. I am hoping this new ear thang rids me of my .... what? huh? woe is me moments.

Out With The Old

flarn_chef — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 13:57:45 GMT

pics on Sodahead

MUD

flarn_chef — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 13:23:15 GMT

It is December...
Where is the damn snow?
I'm tired of looking at the gray bleak muddy backyard.

I have new neighbors.
Thus far, they seem very nice, with a little girl, Gabriella and a cat named Bourbon.
AND no screaming, yelling or noise like Katrina is blowing through.

I'd asked for the recently released Cowboys & Aliens for a holiday gift.
I got that and the remastered screwhead edition of Army of Darkness AND a shiny new DVD player.

Don't wanna go to work.
Today is my Monday.