Do Fish Burps Echo?

If Schrödinger's cat writes a post on April Fool's Day in the forest, does it break a hiatus?

fish_echo — Sun, 01 Apr 2012 20:47:10 GMT

I still exist!

Or maybe I don't!

Can you trust anything written on April Fool's Day?

CAN YOU?!?!?!!!

In other news, the audiofic archive is back up and running and this is so very awesome and thus I am celebrating by watching all of the TV in the world in the background whilst archiving one billion podfics. I'll return to online life and fandom proper once I'm working on that a little less breakneck and then I'll do a proper update-type post and ask how everyone's been doing.

In sum, I LOVE YOU ALL and I have to go archive some things now!

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/72543.html.

Advice on seaming 100% cashmere yarn?

fish_echo — Sun, 21 Aug 2011 04:57:17 GMT

Sometimes I leap into things without thinking all the way through, without reading all the instructions, or without thinking ahead for all what the instructions might be...

Which is why I now have a patchwork blanket made with a variety of yarns to piece together, and I'm looking at the patches made with 100% cashmere yarn, wondering what to do next. I reclaimed the yarn from a jumper at a second hand store and the shoulder seams were reinforced with some non-cashmere yarn. Of course, it's not until now, when I've knit everything up, that I'm wondering if maybe that means that seaming is complicated when working with 100% cashmere yarn. (My original plan was to use blanket stitch on all the seams.)

So, does anyone have advice on what I should be doing with regards to seaming the 100% cashmere patches?

Cheers!

x-posted to fish-echo and knitting

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/72417.html.

Subtlety in a Summer Supper: Lavender-and-corn and summer squash.

fish_echo — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 05:49:01 GMT

*poooof* *de-lurks*

So I might slowly be clawing my way back to having time enough to be actually un-hiatus-y? *touches wood* *crosses fingers* *turns around three times* *throws salt over shoulder* But in the meantime, here's two recipes (even if neither of them are ones which I've promised people. But they're the ones I've finished writing up, so they're the ones getting posted! *g*).

*poof* *re-lurks* :P

There was a farmer's market today and I went, as I like to do. As is my usual custom, I did a quick circuit of the market to see who was selling what and for what prices (and to sort of mentally compose menus etc) and then did a second circuit wherein I actually bought things. This entire post exists because the first booth I went past had lavender (which is unusual) and I thought to myself, 'oh, I could do something with that!' I spent the rest of my first circuit coming up with a rough sketch, which of course got radically altered once I got home and conferred with the rest of the refrigerator contents and smelled/tasted how it all was cooking up, but eh, so it goes. The point of that ramble was to say: um, not really directions so much as a rough accounting of what I did?

There are two dishes here, the lavender-and-corn and the summer squash. They go rather well together and combine to make a light supper, although if you'd rather have a full meal, I'd suggest adding a nice toasted starch-- ideas I contemplated were: naan, lightly toasted cornbread, a very not-rich biscuit, fresh tortillas, or maybe a simple quesadilla. (Um, yeah, and I also was thinking that a bit of my father's homemade beef jerky would have gone quite well too. Which is clearly not a starch. So, um, let your tummy guide you.)

QUICK DESCRIPTIONS

Recipe 1: Corn with Lavender: A subtle play of flavours in a refreshing summery dish. The warm and soft corn is nicely complimented by the cool and crisp lemon cucumber. It requires a little bit of time and attention during the cooking but isn't inherently difficult.
Recipe 2: A Basic Summer Squash Sauté: Quick, easy, tasty.

Time and serving sizes for making both
1.5 hr-ish
2 people for supper

Photos
I took pictures with my phone, but it's new and I'm having a devil of a time getting it to talk to my computer. Once I get around to figuring that out, I'll update this with pictures.

RECIPE 1: CORN WITH LAVENDER

Ingredients
fresh lavender (~9 stems)
olive oil
raw corn on the cob (2 ears)
piñon nuts (aka: pine nuts, pinoli, pignoli) (a handfulsworth)
leek (1)
lemon cucumber (1)

Methods
Prep

Ahead of time, strip the lavender blossoms from the stems and put in the olive oil to soak. Um, not too much, not too little? I used maybe a cupped palm-full? I don't think it's too crucial... Anyway, I did this about an hour before I started cooking. I didn't think to warm the oil on the stove before adding the lavender-- I should have!
Toast the piñon nuts: put the raw nuts in a pan (no oil needed, any sort of material pan can be used) on medium heat. Stir frequently. Keep watch as lightest brown spots develop (yay! that heralds deliciousness!) and now keep stirring nearly constantly, keeping an eagle-eye out so that you can pull the pan off the heat once the nuts develop medium brown spots. (You want to make sure you don't over-cook them, they can go from medium brown to veryverydark brown (ie, burnt) sadly quickly. If you're concerned that you might overcook, you can always lower the heat towards the end.)
Cut the leek stalk (the white and light greenish parts) lengthwise and then cut each half into sections 0.5cm thick. (And actually I think it's better in this dish when the coins become disaggregated in the pan, so no worries about this step, just cut it to pieces.)
Take two really fresh and deliciously sweet looking ears of sweet corn. Then get really sad that they were stored in a plastic bag and so have mold in spots. Realise this means no corn on the cob. Remove the scattered bad bits. And then cut the kernels off the cob, cutting as close to the cob as possible. There will always be some deliciousness left behind. Make a second pass with the knife, if need be. Always end by taking the back (not the blade!) of the knife and running it down the cob, so that the germ, additional kernel, and a little bit of cornwater comes out. Save all of this.
Dice the lemon cucumber. Realise that this means basically 'scoop out the seedy bit' (keep it) and then dice the remainder. (I skinned mine because the rind was a bit tough. Use your judgment on if yours is tender enough to keep on). Possibly put the lemon cucumber back in the fridge to chill (I didn't do this because I didn't think of it, but I think it might have been even more awesome had I done it).

Cooking

Get a skillet out which will happily hold everything you are going to add, put it on medium-low heat.
Pour the lavender olive oil onto the pan, rotating the pan so that the oil covers the surface. Add all of the corn, stir. Watch how the cornwater and oil kind of mix, isn't that cool? (Answer: yes.) Stir occasionally.
After about ten minutes, mix in the leeks, continuing to stir occasionally.
Keep an eye on things, I guess 5-10 min after adding the leeks it'll be ready to pull off the heat. However, to actually tell, taste the corn and look at (&/ taste) the leeks. Let the food tell you when it's done. Ideally, the corn should be only-just-completely-cooked. (It's a travesty to overcook happy fresh corn.) I kept this on really really low heat whilst I was fiddling with the squash, stirring rarely, and that was fine.
Note with regard to the above step: when that's almost done, throw in the piñon nuts. (Basically, the only concern here is to add them at some point where they won't receive enough additional heat that they would burn.)
When you are ready to serve, pull it off the heat, top with the lemon cucumber and eat!

Notes

There's a certain amount of the prep work which can be done simultaneous with the cooking (especially when you are cooking these two dishes together), but I never can figure out how to describe that, and people's comfort/skill at such things are always so individual. *handwaves*
I used extra virgin olive oil.
I did more of a coarse chop on my cucumber, which made it a bit too overpowering. And I cut the leek as full coins-- the ones which didnt' fall apart made for too much leek in one mouthful.
If there's leftover lemon cucumber, serve it on the side with a bit of salt sprinkled on top.

RECIPE 2: A BASIC SUMMER SQUASH SAUTÉ

Ingredients
Some summer squash
Italian seasoning
grated Cheddar and Mozzarella cheeses
olive oil

Methods

Wash and pat dry the squash, cut off the blossom end and the stem end.
Cut the squash into coins a few mm thick (~1/4"). If you want, you can halve or quarter them. Remember, you want things to generally be similar in size (and smaller things cook more quickly), so if you have irregularly shaped squash, decide how important a common level of done-ness is when you are deciding to subdivide (or not) the larger pieces. (I generally use 'being able to fit a few pieces on a fork' as my default guide.)
Put a bit of olive oil in the pan (use a large pan if you're like me and maybe chopped up one more squash than you really needed), enough that it'll just coat the bottom.
Sauté the squash, stirring frequently. (In more detail: Put the pan on the range on high heat. (In order to tell when you've reached temperature: put one slice of squash into the pan, you've reached temperature it starts kind of spitting and acting like the oil is hot. I know, that's rather useless, I'm sorry, I don't have a better idea of how to describe it! /o\ ). Once the pan is at temperature, dump all of the cut squash in and stir. Stir frequently.)
Keep an eye out and when the squash look almost done to your taste, throw the seasoning on, stir briefly and throw the cheese on. Leave the cheese just briefly (let it have a chance to start melting) (use this time to put the spices away and the cheese and go, hmmm, what's on the other burner.). And then stir the cheese in. At this point, you're going to want to keep stirring things, keeping the cheese melting and hopefully not sticking on the bottom of the pan (scrape at it before it starts burning! If it burns it's a -bleep- to clean. And if your cheese does start burning on the bottom, raise it up off the heat and keep stirring, possibly dump it onto it's serving plate). Once the cheese is all nice and melty, you're good to go!
Nom nom nom. (Best served warm.)

Notes

I am very much not a fan of 'Italian Seasoning/Herbs/whathaveyou' (I prefer to have the fine control that working with a stocked spice cabinet gives you), but my flatmate is very fond and so I gave in today.
I just grabbed the cheese we already had grated. I'd say using whatever hard cheese you already have would be fine.
I used 2 zucchinis (courgettes), 1 yellow zucchini, and 2 long necked squash. But, whatever you have to hand works. (I don't claim that there's a lot of variation in the tastes of summer squash. Mostly I just like the different colours and different shapes.)
This is a quick&dirty basic recipe. It's not what I think of as 'my' squash sauté, but given how much variations one can give to 'sautéd squash', I'm not sure it really matters (it's not like I make 'mine' that often anyways). But maybe eventually I'll actually get around to writing it down -- assuming I can get my gut to articulate which of the variations it is that it wants to identify with, that is.

I'm sorry that this is all very rough and informal! :( If I'm unclear or if you have any questions, drop a comment and I'd be happy to help!

And if you have any suggestions, observations, etc etc, please also drop them in comments!

[Crossposted to] omnomnom.

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/72166.html.

Rec set of podfics! :D

fish_echo — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 05:23:57 GMT

Do you know, I think I spend over an hour per rec on a rec set.... I wouldn't be surprised if it's much more than that, actually /o\ I'm kind of afraid to time myself on the chance that I'd get too downtrodden to actually rec things anymore.

Moving onto lighter topics, [I just recced a bunch of podfics etc] over at fish_recs. The theme for this one is fics which were recorded at my bidding, and other fanworks (mostly podfics but some fics and vids too) which reminded me of them. As usual, I blather on faaaaar too much. I found several mistakes/overlooked links when commenting to readers/authors, so here's hoping I found all of them! *touches wood*

So yeah, another rec set up! I feel all accomplished and stuff :) (Now I just need to also do all the other things on my list... one item at a time, but they'll get done!)

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/71582.html.

...that was strange...

fish_echo — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 16:55:49 GMT

Last night I had a very intense, vivid dream of the sort that you don't realise didn't actually occur until you wake up enough to realise it must have been a dream.

In this dream, I was following an email conversation amongst all the audiofic archivists, except I started reading in the middle of the thread, so aphelant's comment of 'americano?' was very confusing. Especially since cybel's response of 'cappuccino, I think' seemed to indicate that we'd veered off the subject of the archive. And before I could scrabble up-thread to figure out what the fuck was going on, I'd woken up. And now I won't ever know what was going on in that conversation! >:(

So, any thoughts? :P

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/71143.html.

I'm tired of being tired

fish_echo — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 20:08:19 GMT

(I caught yet another virus, just as I was very nearly over the last one. Clearly I need to learn how to take care of myself better, or something. Because fuck this.)

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of deadlines which can only shift so much (sometimes not at all) even though I'm ill. I'm tired of having a tired brain (I have what feel like the beginnings of interesting -- and possibly self-insightful -- thoughts about identity and disability and culture and norms, and my brain is too sluggish to finish thinking the thoughts to myself, let alone try to formulate them into a state that I can run them past someone else.). I'm tired of the fact that I slept the weekend away (including a good chunk of the time that I was visiting with friends. To be honest, the fact that I could 'accidentally' fall asleep on the couch was a good chunk of why I was persuaded to go out in the first place). I'm tired of being too tired to easily maintain my normal good cheer (evidently it takes energy to be hyperactive, who knew?). I'm tired of the fact that I want to curl up on the sofa and drowse off and yet I've got too much to get done right now to afford that (that I can have a nap later isn't a useful carrot when I'm tired right now). I'm tired of the list looming off in the murk, containing all the things which can be put off until I have more energy, sitting there and getting longer and longer and I can't do anything about it (because lately it seems whenever I try I end up spending more of that coin I don't have and then I end up right back where I started but more exhausted and how is that useful (answer: it's not)).

Faaaaaaaah. I'm going to go see if there's anything on the list I can kick 'till later and then I'm going to do whatever can't be put off and then I'm going to motherfucking take a nap. It'll be the best nap which ever did nap. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/70700.html.

update to tally on previous entry

fish_echo — Sat, 28 May 2011 01:13:35 GMT

The tally currently stands:

Fish: |
Fish's immune system's work ethic: -1
~~Space~~ Viral invaders: |

I've managed to catch another virus and within only days of posting my last entry! Thus, I've decided to give my immune system a negative point. :(

*insert something witty here*

Okay, back to bed. >:(

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/70407.html.

Hockey rec set! :D

fish_echo — Thu, 19 May 2011 04:22:53 GMT

Allow me to present a play in a few acts, called 'This is Fish's life this past month':

Fish's body: Oh no! ~~Space~~ viral invaders!
Fish: *takes a nap*
Fish's immune system: Huh?
Fish: *sleeps more*
Fish's immune system: Bwah?
Fish: *feels rotten*
Fish's immune system: You want me to do what now?
Fish: *stays in bed for several days straight*
Fish's immune system: Okay, fine, I'll do something! *poke*
Fish: *thinks she's feeling a little bit better*
Fish's immune system: Boy, that sure was a lot of work! You don't mind if we take the next week or two off, right?
Fish: *gives up on going into work for a while*
Fish's office mates: You sound/look horrible, why are you here?
Fish: I don't even remember anymore. I swear when I got up this ~~morning~~ noon, I thought that there was some deadline or something that really had to get done?
Fish's boss: Go home.
Fish: *goes*
Fish: *sleeeeeeeeeeeps*
Fish: *wakes up, but only a little*
Fish: *sits/sleeps on couch and watches lots of hockey and DVDs of ~~crappy~~ ~~awesome~~ middling TV*
Fish: *sleeeeps*
Fish's immune system: I'm getting kind of bored with all this sleeping. Wow, I'm so bored that maybe I'll actually do some work!
Time: *passes*
Fish: Wow, I don't feel quite so much like a puddle of goo anymore! Wow!
Fish's body: *puts it in the net*
Fish: ...is it possible to feel like half a puddle of goo?

Final score:
Fish: |, Fish's immune system's work ethic: 0

Aaaaand in other news, somewhere in there [I wrote a mini-rec set on the theme of hockey].

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/69894.html.

Weeeee are the chaaaaaampions! [aka, guess who just posted a motherfucking rec set, yo!]

fish_echo — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 05:22:16 GMT

Dude, it had to be in two LJ posts because evidently I don't know when to shut the fuck up? Or something. At this point, I have no idea what on earth is in that rec set any more, I mean, I really hope it doesn't contain, like, me doing keyboard mashes or something, but fuck if I'm going to look at it for any longer. I think my head might explode if I do. I'm fairly certain that this means that when I look back at it later, I'll cringe with embarrassment. OTOH, it's posted, boo-yaaah! (I'm trying not to think of how long ago I promised this set.) Erm, this half of a set? Because I feel like it's still not long enough, so eventually there'll be the other half. But before then I'll probably post some other recs, because it turns out I'm really bad at writing things in order (this should *not* be a surprise anymore, really), so yeah, there's bits and bobs of other recs gathering dust on my computer. Maybe I'll clean some of those up eventually and post them. But in the meanwhile, I'm going to go do a celebratory dance or something, I don't know. *collapses into a puddle* Oooh, there's ice cream in the freezer, mayhap I'll go investigate that! *reconstitutes self from puddle for sake of ice cream*

ETA: AHHAHAHAHHAHAA, WHO FORGOT TO PUT IN THE LINK? OH YEAH, IT WAS ME! http://fish-recs.livejournal.com/2011/04/24/ /ETA

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/69189.html.

Adding fruit to scones

fish_echo — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 16:44:31 GMT

I'm still not dead, just busy (and all too often too brain-tired to face composing anything *sadface*). I'm sure that one day I'll post entries here which don't start like that... *facepalm* But in the meantime....

Even though I've been hiding from my keyboard like it has keys made of bee stingers, I've done the occasional typing elsewhere which, since I bothered to face down the keyboard of doooom (the trick is to sneak up on it as the keys-to-beestingers transformation only happens when looked at directly), I'm going to repost &/ link here. But gradually, because otherwise I might end up covered in beeeeeees /eddyizzard!

Awhile ago, winkingstar held a tea party and had a [food/recipe discussion thread]. I contributed [hints for adding fruit to scones] and have reposted it below. It's worth checking out the entire food thread as there's other recipes there too! Including some for scones themselves. :P

hints for adding fruit [fresh, frozen, dried] to scones

After having added the wet ingredients to the dried, and just before they're finished being mixed: pat out the dough and lay down the fruit either over all of the surface or just over half. Then you'll cover up the fruit with the dough (if you had spread it over all the surface, roll it up like a jelly roll; if you had spread it over half, fold the uncovered half over the covered half). Then finish working the dough (there really should be very minimal working left to do), pat it out, and form the scones. This will result in the dough getting much less coloured by the juices and have fewer burst berries. (If, however, you'd rather have the berry juices colour the scone as a whole, add the berries with the wet ingredients-- and if working with frozen berries or if you otherwise have a bit of juice available, you can substitute some juice for a little bit of the liquid.) (For dried fruit, just toss them until coated in a bit of the dried ingredients before adding them to the dried ingredients, and they won't stick together hardly at all.) Generally I find that the smaller the fruit pieces, the easier it is to work with. But also I really like blackberry scones, so clearly sometimes compromises must be made! :) Also, whenever I've worked with frozen fruit in scones I've always kept them as frozen as possible, right up until they got slipped into the oven-- in order to keep the juices from staining everything and in order to avoid damaging the fruit further.

Crossposted to omnomnom

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/68587.html.

unplanned hiatus is hiatus-y! also, fic rec!

fish_echo — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 08:53:58 GMT

Evidently I'm on hiatus right now, who knew? ;p Yeah, I'll try to un-hiatus at some point *waves hands vaguely into the future* (I'm fine, just busy. Really really busy.)

To tide you over until actual content resumes, would you like to read a story written for me for help_pakistan? Correct answer: Yes! It's for a song, one that's fairly old-- it's thought to be a variant of one of the Child ballads. (And at some point I'll put actual links in here.) I love the song and I love where snow has taken this story. ETA: The fic would probably make much more sense if you've heard the song or at least read the lyrics. (A lyrics link can be found in the author notes.) /ETA

Fic: Jane Barbour or To Hell With All Your Land
by: Snow // snow // snowishness
Fandom: John Barbour (Song)
Etc.: General Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply (no Fish-specific warnings apply either), Jane Barbour/John Barbour, 766 words
Summary: "I would if I could," I say, knowing as I do it that it's not good enough. "But she chose to marry a sailor, and that's what I am." // "Decide what's more important to you, your wife's health or your sailing."
My notes: HELL FUCKING YEAH! Anything else would be spoilery. (I'll try to come up with an actual note when I repost this to my recs comm, but in the meantime, I'm too busy going :D about the final line to say anything else.)

Because I am horribly indecisive sometimes, I ended up giving Snow ten billion songs to choose amongst for her prompt (which I then subdivided into two separate playlists, because I may have been indecisive, but at least I was indecisive in categories!). Would people be interested in seeing those playlists?

View poll: #5192

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/67191.html.

I'm at skip = one billion! :(

fish_echo — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 20:46:10 GMT

I think it might have been a week since I last logged in? Something like that, anyways. So yeah, fliscle is at skip=alot and I'm feeling intimidated by it all. Speaking of lots to do... What the fuck is it doing being almost November? I think I'm always disappointed when I get to the November portion of the year because for so long in school it meant that the winter holidays were almost there, but these days December through February (ish) are full of a bunch of busy-ness and deadlines and stress and just generally gearing up rather than gearing down. Oh well, so goes life.

And if it's nearly November, that means it's nearly wrisomifu time! YAY! I really like wrisomifu time! :D ! But I'm not sure if I'll be able to be anywhere near the level of participatory that I've been these past two years *sadface*. (I know I've kind of dropped off the face of the earth lately, sorry 'bout that...). Anyway, I've decided that my goal for wriso this year is to make inroads on the lists of things I have marked as obligations/responsible/etc (e.g., comment respondings, charity offers, mod posts. Oh, hey, maybe I can look through my folder of 'to be posted' to see how many of those are mostly finished and still vaguely relevant!) because it'll make me happy to actually make progress on that. Plus, it also seems a more realistic goal than progress on anything longer (like, say, those WIPs) given how like a wet noodle my brain has been feeling lately. I'd really like more of a functional brain, but I'm really not sure what to do to make it so, so I guess I'll have to keep muddling along :/

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/66913.html.

Wait, what? When'd it get to be mid-October?

fish_echo — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 02:04:15 GMT

So once upon a time (round about a year ago), I decided that I ought to make a comm to revel in the awesomeness that is [A thousand ways to please a husband with Bettina's best recipes]. I created bettinas_fandom, there was a bit of interest in it, and then it sort of fizzled out as people got caught up by various other things. And I do know that that is in part my fault as the mod, for not having done more to keep up interest (I swear, I have three posts in draft on: (a) historical perspectives and additional resources and references, (b) icons, (c) linkspam of preexisting posts (fannish and not) to the book. I just, um, still haven't finished them?).

So, anyway, I've decided that since evidently it's time for this year's yuletide that I should move the comm over to DW and see if I can get a fledgling comm together in time for it to be useful for this year's fest. Which is all well and good until I end up chasing myself in circles on if I should keep the comm name as bettinas_fandom or if I should change it to bettinas_kitchen (this is why I like having co-mods -- so there's someone to smack you upside the head when you're being ridiculous). But since I don't have a co-mod, I figure, why not ask the internet! :)

View poll: Bettina's Wheresits? Whatsits? Widgets!

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/66545.html.

Sometimes I am an idiot, evidently.

fish_echo — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 17:55:36 GMT

Note to self: People have to receive the email before you can respond to it. So the reason no-one has replied to that batch of emails you sent out? Is because you haven't sent them yet! *angryface*

Corollary 1: Those emails you haven't sent yet? You haven't sent because you haven't finished drafting them. (FYI, you should get on that.)

Corollary 2: No, hitting 'save' and then minimising the window will not result in the emails automagically finishing themselves. (Finish the damn emails.)

In conclusion: Fuckwit.

PostScript: I'm going to go write some emails now.

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/65806.html.

how I was taught to eat a kiwi // memories of hazy summers

fish_echo — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 22:02:14 GMT

So I was reading an Inception fic, right? (It was advertised as an Eames+wee!Arthur, what?) And it had a line in there about kids being more trusting and open than adults (with implications of then it would be easier to steal secrets from the-mark-as-a-child than the-mark-as-self), and they said 'oh perhaps like at the grandparents' house where they feel loved, or something like that'. And then the story went and continued (and I decreed that there wasn't enough sap for me, but eh, sometimes I am the maple tree in spring and want all the sap in the world to be mine.)

But after leaving the story I did, as I so often do with stories, spare a moment to think upon what had been presented there, and decided that for me it was not true; there are plenty of ways to feel loved and still not feel secure, especially when still trying to find one's place. (When I was that young, being at my grandparents' house was more about vastness and running around, and always there being new people there, and exploring, and feeling a little bit odd and uncertain but that being okay because evidently that was fine.)

{This is not your eulogy, Uncle, (after all, you do not appear in it, nor does your influence); it might be Grandmother's except that it isn't (for all that she does appear in these memories)-- but what it is is a mark of how there comes a time when memories will not be only heartache.*}

I cast my mind back further and it showed me a memory-of-a-memory (worn blurry around the edges from the passage of time and maybe a bit from repeated handling or neglect [it's hard to tell, sometimes]): of a young little Fish and her father, standing on the back porch against the railing, looking out over the slopes leading to the mountain, (it is bright, maybe the sun was out or maybe the clouds were high and thin), half a kiwi in his hand and a spoon, as they scoop out little tiny slivers of the fruit (they become common later but then they are rare and expensive, and deliciously ripe and perfect (and will always be thought of as luxury)), it is a moment worthy of savouring just as they savored the fruit. [A fragile cup of brown-furred skin scraped bare of green was all that was left, that and memory and sticky fruit juices around the mouth. It is satisfaction and happiness and calm running humming through the browns and the greens and the cheerful, bright tang of a fruit from far-away ground.]

(As I got older, their backyard was smaller and a little less wild and hid fewer undiscovered countries and few secrets. I knew the butterflies by the garage and the penny plants in the corner and the faces were familiar aside from the youngest ones who would become known in their own time, and there was learning and showing and fights and making-ups and drifting-aparts and hearing stories about childhood misbehaviours and growing up. But that would be later.)

I have missed more funerals than I have attended lately, I have had to mourn by myself from far away. (There is an unreality to mourning by yourself. When no one else is crying, how do you know that the news is not a bad dream? If you do not see the house made empty, what reason do you have to believe that it is so? [After all, every other time you've left, you've always been able to come back, so why would this one time be different? (don't tell me that it's all times after this, I don't want to face that truth yet)])

[I can tell you where the very best doughnuts are found, if they still exist (I haven't been in years). It has been too long since I have driven that way, so I don't know. I wish I could make that trip again, I wish the house with all the family people was waiting for me at the end of that journey just like it used to. [I remember being newly fifteen and stepping onto the ground after the drive to a boisterous crowd of smiling adults and running-around littles, and feeling tall in my skin, like I was a part of this massive family-amoeba which extended to us all and around us all and reaches out a bit to those not yet in it ('I am old enough now ('i am an adult'), responsible to and for this familiamoeba of mine', I thought then) and now I can notice the assumption ('it/they/this will always be here like this to come back to') which I didn't even know I was making at the time, which I now sadly know to my bones is not true. Maybe I am afraid to see if the doughnut shop is gone like so much else, or maybe I just have no reason to go past there anymore. (I would like a doughnut from there, bought on the way to visitings.)]

And all of this is memory and love and family (and some of it is wrapped up in any bite I take of a kiwi, and some of it is echoed with every cup of mint tea (avoided for months after my grandmother died) fresh from the garden I drink, and so I carry these memories with me, under my breastbone and in my mouth.

* So do not take it amiss, Uncle, that I still haven't offered you your eulogy and instead let me offer you this as a promise that someday I will be able to give that eulogy. I miss you.

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/65729.html.

small policy change for my recs comm

fish_echo — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 04:29:23 GMT

So I'm kind of busy and overwhelmed by everything I'm trying to do? (Evidently this is news to me?)

Anyway, I finally realised that it doesn't really help anyone if I sit on additional/supplemental links to already-posted rec sets (because I don't have the brain/time/&c to actually code it up properly), and since the having of more brain is not terribly likely to happen terribly soon, I might as well just dump the accumulated links in comments, so that way they'll be visible to people who are not me. (And that way I don't feel guilty about barfing up unpretty code into my posts.)

[So yeah, that's the entire point of the newest post to fish-recs, wheee *party noisemakers and confetti*]

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/65493.html.

wtf lj

fish_echo — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 06:21:39 GMT

Okay, so, um, evidently some folks are seeing old locked posts at lj magically now being unlocked?? [according to, idek, some post I saw on DW's 'latest' page when I clicked that bookmark instead of whatever I had intended to, which said it was via comments at the latest lj news post]. I did check, none of my locked posts (nor any comments screened on my journal) were made public, but regardless, this is enough to push me:

I'm finally importing LJ comments to DW, this is so that I can go to my locked posts and delete them (Note to people who commented on the LJ version of the help-pakistan post-- I'm going to delete those comments now, just in case LJ screws up screening as well. If you'd like to remind yourself of what you said in that comment, they are under your LJ openID on the DW post and they are screened.)

In the future, any locked/filtered/etc/whathaveyou posts will only be posted to DW. (I might make a flocked post on LJ saying 'go check out the DW flock for a new post'? I'm not sure yet, I really haven't thought that far ahead.)

I *think* I've granted access to everyone's openID's LJ account who commented on a locked post of mine (regardless of if they also have a dreamwidth account-- thus ensuring that they maintain the ability to edit/delete said comment), and I *think* I've granted access to the LJ openID of folks who don't already have access under a dreamwidth account. Let me know if that's not the case, or if you think I've somehow mucked something else up. Comments are screened at DW (which means no commenting at LJ, because I don't trust them not to fuck things up). (And I do have DW invites if anyone wants them.)

Um, possibly I'm too tired to be deleting things and granting access and whatnot right now, but I want to do this now (since I'm sure that putting it off until I'm more alert and have more time won't somehow make LJ less prone to these sorts of errors). So really please do let me know if I've done something fumble-fingered, and the not immediately necessary policy changes will be decided upon at some point when I have more brain.

And note to self: go back and add the 'comments screened' tag to the appropriate places, and the 'different lj and dw entries' tag to the posts for which the lj comments have been disabled (due to being screened on dw) and to the restricted access posts (which don't have a corresponding LJ post now, obv)

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/65009.html.

invite codes: AOOO and Dreamwidth

fish_echo — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 03:06:59 GMT

I have one invite code for AOOO and a dozen (ish) for Dreamwidth. They're open for anyone to nab, leave a comment here if you want one.

Comments are screened- leave a 'I want a code for X' and a how I can get it to you (ie, via email; PM-- LJ, DW, IJ; via replying to your comment and then screening my reply right after [will only work if you have comments emailed to you]; or via something else). I'll update this post with info as the codes get claimed.

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/63278.html.

In Which Fish is Pants at Leaving Prompts

fish_echo — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 18:04:23 GMT

I ended up winning three offers at help_pakistan.

One thing which I won (well, technically, I didn't have the winning bid, but the offerer let non-winning bidders donate anyway, so effectively I also won!) was to donate to a Rec-a-thon at epic_recs. That was amazingly easy, the process went something like:
Fish: Here is all the money for what I bid for you, plus what I got outbid on elsewhere, plus a bit more to round up nicely.
jane_elliot: Thankee and here's the date that the rec-a-thon will be posted! And since me and my cohort did some mathamagic, there'll be *thismany* recs!
Fish: *waits impatiently*
Calendar: [Here's the date of posting of the Rec-a-thon at Epic-Recs! Enjoy!]
Fish: Wheeee, yay!

Another offer I won was snow's of a short fanfic. She made the mistake of mentioning song-fandoms and I got stars in my eyes. Last night when I realised my short-list of songs was about 25 long, the 'maybe' list had another ~15, and I still had more music to go through (plus the CDs which aren't on this computer)... well, that was when I decided to unilaterally issue a proclamation that no more music was allowed onto either of those lists and additionally that I needed to start trimming them somehow. (I had already eliminated all songs not in English and all songs entirely lacking lyrics. I swear that one day I'll write a story to one of those lacking-lyrics songs.) And to think that when I started this I thought that there'd be only a handful of songs.... So that's a work-in-progress.

The other offer I won was a set of ten recipes on a theme, offered by wolfie74. Let me show you the evolution of my theme:
Fish's theme, draft 1 (not sent): Here are fuds I liek. Wat fudz due you like? Tell me foods!
Fish's theme, draft 2 (in progress of being written): Here are fuds I liek: [lists of foods/ingredients/cooking styles/etc/etc/etc]. (Wat fudz due you like?) Tell me foods witch you think I maye like, please?
Fish's theme, draft 3 (not yet written): *takes draft 2 and runs spellcheck on it. Then reads it aloud to the kitchen cabinets and any sentence which is too long to say in one breath is declared a run-on and edited down to size. Any sentence which I got bored with before I finished is deleted. One final read-through to see if it makes sense.*
Fish: Boy, wouldn't it be easier if there was mind-reading? *goes and bakes something*

So yeah, I kind of suck at giving prompts and snow and wolfie74 are very patient and kind people. Mmmmm, baking.... Sorry, I think I had more to type here, but I've forgotten about it and am instead daydreaming about cooking coffee cakes. I think I need to finish tidying in my kitchen and then bake something.

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/63035.html.

PSA: Megaupload malware

fish_echo — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 02:02:45 GMT

FYI to people who use Megaupload-- there's evidently been some malware in some?all? of their pop-ups at the moment (they've had a bad track record lately with regards to malware, this is just the latest).

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/62435.html.

sometimes the crossovers write themselves...

fish_echo — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 05:24:52 GMT

Just because I'm not watching any shows right now (out of lack of time, not out of lack of love) doesn't mean that those around me aren't watching shows right now.

Which is how I was walking through the room half-humming to myself whilst thinking about graphics for amplificathon (my leet collage-making skillz, I shall show you them! /ironic) and was half-way back across the room before I said, 'What the fuck? Is Psych doing street racing?' and then I stopped and gaped at the screen for a bit trying to imagine Dom and his crew and Rome and Brian in the episode (which didn't seem to work terribly well, eh).

So now I really desperately want a Psych/The Fast & The Furious crossover! I have no idea how this would work and I don't care! *wants with that irrational desire of the sort which small children have perfected*

....yeah, so, um, does anyone know how much I'd have to bid on whom over at help_pakistan to make this happen?

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/61941.html.

Things which I don't have time to write (and thus want you to!) plus more getting-things-in-the-post

fish_echo — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 21:02:24 GMT

Thing One) This year's bringthehappy fest is live for prompt-filling! Yay! [Browse the prompts, rules, and FAQ for Bring The Happy.] The end date for the fest is 29 Aug.

Thing Two) Have you seen the rules for polybigbang? I think it's so very awesome that the sign-ups for the writers don't close until the first draft is due! This means that both folks who love and who fear deadline-related-commitment can play! (Erm, not that I have time right now to even entertain playing, but I love that I could.) Anyway, the first draft is due on 20 Sept and original fic is allowed this year. :) [Polybigbang rules and FAQ post] and [Polybigbang writer sign-up post].

Cousin It) Yet another ~~auction~~ ~~way to get pressies~~. I've got two threads up at help_pakistan: the first has [yet another offer of a box full o' Fishlandia awesomeness] and the second is [an infinite number of offers of an envelope with Fishlandish stuff (minimum bid $2)] on the basis that (a) I'm already assembling one Fishlandish box and so assembling another one in parallel doesn't increase the workload too much; and (b) mayhap this'll be a nice way to disseminate my a-bit-too-large collection of flat-ish local items. Bidding is open now and closes SUNDAY AUGUST 29TH, 1 PM EST~~11:59 PM Saturday, August 28th EST~~. (Edited to include the new closing time for the auction.)

Cantor) Hmmmmm, I could have sworn I had something else to say? Bah! Oh well, I suppose I can edit it in here if I do recall it. ETA: Ha, I don't think this was it, but: the 'random icon' button on the DW post creation page is way too much fun, jsyk. Oh, speaking of (not that this was it either *sigh*): I have way too many DW invites sitting around my inbox. Let me know if you want one (and feel free to direct anyone else this way.)

Quince Pie) I'm still in 'very sporadic reading of flist' mode, if you need to talk to me &/ want to ensure I see something, drop me a comment (which'll get emailed to me) or just email me (addy in profile). I'm sure the regular schedule of fishy burblings will resume eventually, just don't ask me when! :P

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/61555.html.

Info I need in order to send out an envelope to help-pakistan bidders

fish_echo — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 18:31:58 GMT

This is the post associated with [my offer of sending an envelope containing Fishlandia-related stuff] at help_pakistan.

I can start assembling your envelope once I have the following info:

1) Confirmation of your donation (I am willing to take you at your word if you'd prefer. Of course, if you'd like to forward me your confirmation email that's fine too.) And because there's no number limit on this offer, you can donate before the close of auction (any bids placed after the close of auction will not be filled. Unless they are for a good bit of money and you beg prettily.) My email is fish_echo -at-symbol- dreamwidth -dot- org.
ETA (30 Aug): If you would state how much of your donation is going to my offer, that would make my life easier. (This is especially useful if you end up donating more than you originally bid.)

2) Do you have any allergies/sensitivities/strong dislikes? (So I can avoid sending those things. I also can probably manage to assemble your envelope in an area which lacks specific allergens, if you need me to, if you let me know what they are and what the proper level of avoidance is.)

3) My handwriting is a bit cramped. Would you prefer the note to be handwritten or typed? If typed, what would your preferred format be? (My default is 12pt font with black ink on white paper, but I can switch that up.) Hm, actually, I'm about 95% certain that I could find a place to do Braille embossing... So really, whatever works best for you is fine for me.
3a) The note I write is most likely to be a bit about what I'm sending and maybe some random observation or two, but if you'd like, you can try giving me a topic to ramble on (I promise nothing, but you can try! *g*).

4) Would you like me to tell you before I send it, or would you prefer for it to be a surprise?

5) Postal address! Including the name you'd like me to use.

6) Your preferred method for me to contact you should I have a question of some sort.

7) Any questions for me?

Comments are screened, so you can reply here. Or you can email me or PM me at fish_echo or fish_echo. (As always, anon commenting is on and IP logging is off)

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/61373.html.

Because everyone knows two things make a post!

fish_echo — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 03:01:17 GMT

Hallo flist! Have you missed me? I've missed you! Sadly, I am not here to lounge about on the divans of our corner of the internet whilst eating grapes and telling marvelous stories but instead to drop links and immediately run back to the harsh taskmaster that is my to-do list. (Evil to-do lists! Grrrrr!)

Thing One!
gulf_aid_now is running another round of auctions and I've thrown in my hat with an offer of [A Box Of Things Wot Come From Fishlandia (AKA That Silly Place Where Fish Lives)]. Ooooh, mysterious! Who doesn't like a good mystery-inna-box? Nota Bene: bidding ends 15 Aug at 0400 UTC!

ETA: Oh yeah, so, it's the third round of auctions there, right? So that means there's not as much activity on those threads as there could be. I mean, up-thread from me there's a BPAL bottle going for $5, wtf. So if you've spare pocket change right now, might be fun to cruise through the threads and see if anything tickles your fancy. (And yes, there is a [podfic/etc post at gulf-aid-now] as well and those prices are currently very nice! *g*)

ETA2: Now with working link to the auction (current bid: $15) and with the correct time of close of auction.

ETA3: Now with the correct date of close of auction. *facepalm*

Thing Two: Return of the Podfic Fest Announcements!
amplificathon // amplificathon is running Podbang again! :) If you don't remember from last year, it's an exchange-fest with participants recording long podfics. Nifty! [2010 Podbang Announcement and FAQ (DW)] and [2010 Podbang Announcement and FAQ (LJ)]

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/60750.html.

I know there ought to be a widget or something....

fish_echo — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 18:12:42 GMT

For reasons which don't need exploring at this juncture, I'm on FF.net.

Didn't there used to be a 'print entire story' button somewhere? Or was that only on skyehawke? Alternatively, is there a widget I can use to get the whole story all on one page?

This entry was originally posted at http://fish-echo.dreamwidth.org/60552.html.