Paths of Fire

Friendly Service Announcement

2006-03-16T01:12:57Z

This journal will be closing. I never ever update it when I should, which = a massive bad on my behalf.

I have therefore created the community pathsoffire to be the new home of my creative works. I will be updating from my normal account, athiela in all communities.

If anyone has yoinked icons that I've created, or has my stories archived, please change links and credit.

Thanks, and sorry for the hassle,

♥ Mikhaila

[Soundtrack: Bellatrix] The Memory Remains

2006-03-07T01:54:41Z

Title: Memory Remains
Summary: A Bellatrix Soundtrack based on the many different ways in which I see Bella. Mostly heavier, darker music.

Three Days Grace - Born Like This

You’re always in my way...You’ve lost what you’ve been given...You’ll get it back today...We are born like this

Silverchair - Emotion Sickness

Sacrifice the tortures...Orchestral tear cash-flow...Increase delete escape defeat...It’s all that matters to you...Cotton case for an iron pill...Distorted eyes...When everything is clearly dying

Within Temptation - Ice Queen

She comes at night when you are all alone...And when she whispers...Your blood shall run cold...You better hide before she finds you...Whenever she is raging...She takes all life away...Haven't you seen?...Haven't you seen?...The ruins of our world

Nickelback - Flat on the Floor

Like I need to defend my own innocence...So what, I did it, I admit it, and I'm pleading the 5th...8 minutes from losing it a little bit...5 minutes your description might be starting to fit...3 to go and I'm forgetting all that I've ever known

Evanescence - Haunted

Long lost words whisper slowly to me...Still can't find what keeps me here...When all this time I've been so hollow inside...I know you're still there

Nightwish - The Siren

Somewhere there my fate revealed...Oh, I hear but how will I see?...Oh, I tied myself to the wheel

Puddle of Mudd - Out of My Head

What is wrong with all my friends...I know that I am unlike them...Just another situation...Don’t hold me back...I don’t look good to them...They always act so dirty...They keep themselves so clean

System of a Down - Sad State

You and me will all go down in history...With a sad Statue of Liberty...And a generation that didn't agree.

Nine Inch Nails - Terrible Lie

Seems like salvation comes only in our dreams...I feel my hatred grow all the more extreme...Hey god, can this world really be as sad as it seems?

Garbage - As Heaven is Wide

Nothing that you say will release you...Nothing that you pray would forgive you,,,Nothing's what your words mean to me

AC/DC - Jailbreak

There was a friend of mine on murder...And the judge's gavel fell...Jury found him guilty...Gave him sixteen years in hell

Metallica - The Memory Remains

Fade to black...In light of an already...Faded prima donna...Fortune, fame...Mirror vain...Gone insane...But the memory remains

x Mikhaila

[Fic: Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr] The Bells Tolls for Thee

2006-03-06T23:07:02Z

Title: The Bell Tolls for Thee
Character(s): Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr
Prompt: The Ballroom at Midnight
Rating: G
Word Count: 786
Summary: It was kind of a Cinderella deal, she figured. And midnight was only 5 minutes away.
Notes: Sorry for the long absence, it's been a bit of a rough week. This is the third one for the challenge at 7spells now :o)

It had been three years since she had seen him. She had been but a child when he had gone away, and yet still, she loved him. She had no idea how she had ended up here - this was not her time, nor her place. The last thing that she could remember was being on a mission with Harry, working to destroy the final two Horcruxes that Voldemort had left behind. The Final Battle, as she now thought of it, was drawing near. It was close to Christmas - she and the boys would be returning to the Burrow soon, lest they wish to incur the wrath of Molly Weasley.

She remembered this room. All was as it was those three years ago, when she had been a student here, and had first fallen in love with him. She glanced at the walls, at the tables. It was all the same. The same people, the same decorations, the same dress robes. And yet, she could tell that all was different. For one thing, it was as if time had stopped. She could hear the music, could see the clock tower out the window, could feel the cool breeze as it danced across her alabastor skin... and yet no-one else moved. They were all seated at their tables, not eating, not talking, not even blinking. There was no-one on the dance floor.

No-one except him.

He looked different, too. Younger. He was not the embittered man that she had known, disguised as one who was even more embittered than himself, but actually who she felt he was meant to be. And approximately her age, too. She walked towards him, one slow step at a time, feeling her dress robes swirl about her hips, a pale pink this time, instead of the periwinkle that she had loved so dearly.

He watched her quizzically as she approached him. She could tell that although she seemed familiar to him, he could not place her. He looked confused as he held his hand out to her, ever the gentleman. She could tell that there were a million questions that he wanted to ask her, but she pressed a finger against his lips as she pressed her body against his. Whatever magic had brought them here, she knew that it wouldn't last forever. She was starting to figure out everything that was happening - she had been trying to remove a Horcrux from a muggle book that Voldemort had kept as a trophy from one of his childhood victims. Cinderella.

She thought that maybe this might be the same deal. After all, she was at the grandest ball she had ever seen. She was wearing beautiful robes. She had been brought here by magic. Most importantly though, her Prince was here.

Midnight was in less that five minutes.

They waltzed across the dance floor, his hand holding her waist firmly, her head resting against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Nothing else mattered, at that point in time. It didn't matter that she was Hermione Jane Granger, champion of Muggleborns, best friend of Harry Potter, and Gryffindor Princess. It didn't matter that he was Bartemius Crouch Junior, future Death Eater, most loyal servant of Lord Voldemort, and in reality a good twenty years older than herself. Right now, they were just two people. A witch and a wizard. Where they were meant to be, with whom they were meant to be with. The way life should have been.

She knew that this was the way it should have been. Despite all that he had done, she had seen his heart. Had seen that despite his general dislike of Muggleborns, that he respected, cared for her even. She realised that he had treated her the way he had when they were together in her fourth year because of this night. This ten minutes had decided both of their futures.

Startled, she pulled her head up suddenly as she heard the clock bells start to ring the hour. Midnight. She felt herself start to fade away, being pulled back by whatever force had brought her here in the first place. He held her hand, his voice breathless as he spoke.

"I feel like you're everything that I've been looking for my entire life." The clock called out the sixth stroke as she grasped his hand.

"I am."

"But I've never seen you before. I don't even know your name." Ten, as she smiled, a trifle sadly, and let go of his hand.

"You will."

She held out her hand, watching as the scene before her slowly faded into black with the final stroke of midnight.

[Fic: Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr.] To the Last Syllable of Recorded Time

2006-03-06T23:05:13Z

Title: To the Last Syllable of Recorded Time
Character(s): Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr.
Prompt: To the last syllable of recorded time.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 580
Summary: And she, whom I have fought against my entire life, turns out to be the one thing I think about as I leave this world.
Notes: Number 2 for the challenge at 7spells! Warning for dementor death. Thanks go to the_ladys_opal for the beta. You're an angel darlin' :o). I'm highly uncreative and couldn't think of a name for this fic, so I just went with that of the prompt.

I have no idea how she managed to get to me without the entire population of Hogwarts noticing. Everyone knew what had happened, the death of Cedric and my failure to help my Lord as I should have done. She wasn't exactly low profile - the best friend of Potter, and easily recognisable with her large, bushy hair. And yet here she is, standing in front of me. The Ministry was due to arrive at any moment to take me away, and I knew that we didn't have much time.

Even though she's only Mudblood, I'm not sure which I am more afraid of. The Ministry... or her.

She is glorious in her anger. I can tell that she wants to kill me, and it is an understandable instinct. Over the past nine months, I have made her trust me, made her believe that I am her friend. And yet all the time, I have been the one plotting her downfall, and that of all she loves.

Yes, I can understand why she is angry.

She is crying, and had her voice been but a few decibels louder, she would have been yelling at me. Although the effects of the Veritaserum have not yet passed, they have lessened, and I find myself able to resist answering her questions. Or, should I say, question. I still cannot lie - but I can keep silent.

She wants to know why. She wants to know the one thing that I cannot tell her. How do you tell a girl that the reason you hate her best friend is her? She might be just a Mudblood, but I know that she is so much more. She is brave and courageous. She is a Gryffindor. This means that she is also intensely loyal. As much as I may hate her kind, I do not hate her. Her blood condemns her to death, but her spirit demands more. I do not wish to see her broken.

We both feel the cold enter the room where I am kept at the same time. She looks at me, and I see understanding and horror in her eyes. She knows, as well as I, what is coming next. I am not afraid. Her eyes begin to mist as she asks me, one last time, why. I look straight at her, and smile.

I do not answer.

She slips out the door quickly, as she footsteps draw closer. I see her lean against the wall briefly, before she disappears beneath Potter's invisibility cloak. As the Dementor enters the room, and my memories begin to fade away, I can still feel her there, see her within my mind. Her memory is not exactly a happy one, and so the Dementor cannot take it from me immediately. I know, however, that she will slip away soon enough.

The Dementor is reaching for me now. I feel it's icy arms grip me above my elbows. Death's grip.

I focus on her, briefly, in my mind. One last time. A young Gryffindor, a young woman.

The Dementor's mouth is hovering above mine now, and I know that whatever soul I may have had is now beginning to leave me.

I find it ironic that the epitome of all I have fought against for the majority of my life is my final thought. To the last syllable of recorded time, before all that I am ceases to exist, I think of her.

Darkness.

[Icons: Draco/Hermione] Alphabet Challenge: Batch #1

2006-02-26T02:05:03Z

Made for the challenge at alphabeticons. This is batch #1 - A-Z. Batch #2 will be coming shortly.

26 Draco/Hermione

Preview:
E. H. Z.

A. B. C.
D. E. F.
G. H. I.
J. K. L.
M. N. O.
P. Q. R.
S. T. U.
V. W. X.
Y. Z.

Credits
Manips
apostrophethis - A.
tumbledstars - B, G, I, N, O, Q, T, U, Y, Z
smurfle - C
sweytie_piy - L (tweaked a little by me though)
Adar - V

Other Credit
Can be found at the credit post over at my LiveJournal.

Translations
All text in another language is French.
J - I love you always
O - We will find each other again.
V - I want you

x Mikhaila

[Icons: Barty Crouch Jnr] 6 Icons.

2006-02-26T02:02:27Z

I got a little bored tonight, and unfortunately my story muse is being a whore. Again. However, my icon muse was in overdrive, and I made these within about an hour. Well... one might have been made about a month ago as a pressie for a friend. Still, hope you enjoy them.

3 Barty Crouch Jnr

2 Barty Crouch Jnr/Bellatrix

1 Barty Crouch Jnr/Hermione

Preview:

1. 2. 3.

4. 5.

6.

Credit can be found here

[Fanfiction: Fleur] Fic Rec

2006-02-24T01:32:57Z

Title: The Puppet Master
Author:ellie_fics
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine, don't sue.
Pairing/Character: Fleur Delacour, Bill Weasley, Gabrielle Delacour, Rabastan Lestrange and Voldie
Word Count: 1,816
Rating: PG-13

The Puppet Master

Mikhaila says: A wonderful story that doesn't focus on any one pairing itself - just Fleur. Explores the strength and heartbreak of a woman forced to choose between the two things she loves best. Written for the 7spells challenge, and I fell in love with it completely

Be sure to tell Ellie what you think!

x Mikhaila

[Draco/Hermione] Pretty When You Cry

2006-02-19T13:00:06Z

Title: Pretty When You Cry
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Rating: R
Word Count: 1,178
Warnings: Violence, Sex, Swearing, Cheating, Angst
Summary: I didn't want to hurt you baby, but you're pretty when you cry.

A/N: I wrote this just before Christmas, when I was feeling all angsty. Another songfic, set to "Pretty When You Cry" by Vast. Props to apostrophethis for the beta and her kind words

You’re made of my rib, or baby
You’re made of my sin
And I can’t tell where your lust ends
And where your love begins.

She was like an obsession to him. A beautiful obsession wrapped up in bushy hair and way too many books. It was fucked up what they had. Not love, surely not love. They’d never say the words, and yet he knew that she had thought them. He thought that he’d even heard her whisper them one time, when he was walking away from her after one of their encounters.

She was his sin, his dirty little secret. He had made her what she was, had made her more than just a Mudblood. She was a woman, strong and powerful. She had always been both, but she had never known how to use them before. Now, because of him, she knew what she was, and how to use it.

He’d made her whole.

I didn't want to hurt you, baby
I didn't want to hurt you
I didn't want to hurt you
But you're pretty when you cry

On the surface, to everyone else, they were the same as they had always been. Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, the worst of enemies. One, encompassed by light, the Gryffindor princess and champion of everything that was good and pure in the world. The other, an evil snarky bastard, the Slytherin prince, walking a path of darkness, filled with torture, hate, and violence.

They continued their normal behaviour towards each other when in public. He’d see the tears spring to her eyes when he called her a Mudblood, and it ripped him up knowing that he was hurting her. But somehow her tears, her vulnerability, made her even more beautiful to him. He knew that it was wrong, knew that he shouldn’t be saying it, not to her, but he couldn’t help it.

She was so beautiful when she cried.

And the moon gives me permission
When I enter through your eyes
She's losing her virginity
And all her will to compromise

They’d started their affair after the Yule Ball in their sixth year at Hogwarts. She’d been standing alone by the window, the moon shining onto her hair, giving her an ethereal glow. She’d looked lost, even though her back had been turned to him.

He’d gone over to taunt her, as usual, but when she turned to him he’d seen the tears glistening in her eyes. He’d never seen her cry before. It struck him in that moment how truly beautiful she was, and how vulnerable. He’d had an urge to take her, to make her his. Not to make her life better, because he’d never be able to do that. But to take solace in each other. He knew that Ron’s rejection of her had hit her hard, and without his father he, too, was looking for solace.

He’d taken her up against that window, the moon shining down on both of them.

I didn't want to fuck you, baby
I didn't want to fuck you
I didn't want to fuck you
But you're pretty when you're mine

He hadn’t wanted her. Didn’t want to fuck her, didn’t want to want her. His original intention of taunting her had flown back and smacked him in the face like a well-aimed curse.

At times he hated her. She was the antithesis of everything that he had been raised to believe in. She was a Mudblood, a Gryffindor, Harry fucking Potter’s best friend.

But when she was lying beneath him in the moonlight, none of that mattered anymore. When it was just the two of them, that’s all that it was. The two of them.

And in those moments, she belonged to him.

I didn't really love you, baby
I didn't really love you
I didn't really love you
But I'm pretty when I lie

It was solace. That’s what he told her over and over again. He told himself that he was only fucking her to take her down, to make her impure, to ruin her for her goody-goody friends. It wasn’t love, it was never love.

He knew that he was lying to himself though. She had captivated him completely, and his life belonged to her. His heart. His soul. Everything that he was was invested in her, in making her smile in the few fleeting moments that they had together. She was his poison, and he was drowning slowly in her.

He’d never tell her though. He’d never tell anyone. He’d walk a dark and lonely path, taking Pansy with him if necessary, to keep her from it. And she never suspected a thing.

Lying was what he was best at.

You hurt me baby
I hurt you baby

He remembered the night he’d found her with Weasley. Kissing the peasant as she should have been kissing him. He’d gone ballistic. Not in front of Weasel-King, of course. Just a few snide remarks that had made the redhead want to hit him again, and then he had gone and waited where he was supposed to be meeting Hermione later that night.

She had come to him, defiant and angry. He had matched her anger. Had held her up against the wall with his arm against her neck as she glared at him. As she told him that she had to do this, that she had to leave him. Her future lay with Ron.

He’d backhanded her across the face. Hissed at her that she was his, and his alone, as she fell to the floor. She’d stood back up and screamed at him. Screamed that she couldn’t do it anymore, that she was hurting too much. That they were hurting each other, and that it wasn’t what she wanted. She needed someone to make her whole.

He’d made her whole. She just didn’t realise it. Weasley would never be man enough for her. He took her into his arms, and looked her straight in the eye, feeling her give in, surrender.

Hurting each other was their solace.

If you knew how much I love you,
You would run away
But when I treat you bad
It always makes you want to stay

He’d never tell her that he loved her. Not even if Voldemort wore a pink tutu. It wasn’t the way that they worked. Love… love wasn’t for them. Love was for people who had a future together, who could openly admit what they were doing. Hermione and Draco could never do that.

His treating her badly was what she craved. He knew it. Everyone else in her life deferred to her, made her have to be strong for them. With him, she could be weak. All the pain she was feeling, she could take it out on him. And when the cards were played and the battle came, she knew that he would leave her. As she would leave him.

It was fucked up. It was their sin.

It was their salvation.

How can you do this to me now?

x Mikhaila

[Draco/Hermione] Greatest Fan of Your Life

2006-02-19T12:27:21Z

Title: Greatest Fan of Your Life
Pairing: Draco/Hermione
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1,221
Warnings: Character Death, Suicide
Summary: I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love's suicide. I'll be better when I'm older - I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

A/N: I wrote this originally back in November - unfortunately I forgot to post it in here. I've forgotten a few things, so I'll be adding them all over the next couple of days - sorry for spamming :oP. This is a songfic set to I'll Be by Edwin McCain. Hope you like it.

x Mikhaila

Rain falls angry on the tin roof

As we lie awake in my bed

He stood outside by the oak tree at Malfoy Manor. The drenching rain that left him in a dishevelled state mixed with the tears on his face as he stood looking at the only witch he had ever loved. He saw her hair, beautiful and incandescent, the curly strands tamed by the rain so that they fell in graceful curls down her back, and over eyes.

The strands in your eyes that colour them wonderful

Stop me and steal my breath

Her eyes were closed now, but he could still imagine their brilliance. A deep honey brown, with flecks of both gold and emerald green, depending which mood he found her in. He loved her eyes in all their moods, as he loved her in all of her moods, and yet he found himself utterly captivated my her when he could see the streaks of emerald begin to emerge. The only came out when she was feeling a particularly strong emotion, like anger… or love. The passion that burned within her scorched him when she turned those eyes on him.

Emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

Never revealing their depth

For so long he had been alone. Locked in a world of incrimination, of family honour, he had been bound by his father’s wishes. Although he loved his father, he knew that he was not strong enough to live up to what his father wanted of him. He was too weak. After the death of Dumbledore in sixth year she had come to find him. She had found both Snape and himself hiding in northern Scotland, armed with the information that Potter had given her after he witnessed what Snape had done. After she had killed Snape with more pain in her eyes than he could bear, she turned to him. He had thought that he was a dead man. Instead, she offered him a choice. She offered him a place in the light.

You're my survival

You're my living proof

My love is alive and not dead

It was only when working with her that he was able to see what a wonderful person she truly was. Voldemort’s promise not to harm his family should he succeed in his task had been nothing more than a lie, as he had realised when he found the Dark Mark hovering over his house and his mother’s dead body inside. Apparently Voldemort had heard that Snape had accomplished Draco’s task for him, and clearly he was displeased with the development and the apparent weakness in the younger Malfoy. He could see her compassion, her fire, her devotion and her power. And he had loved her.

I'll be captivated

I'll hang from your lips

Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

Of course, she had never given him a single sign that she had been interested at all. She remained professional, detached, and he could feel that she was withdrawing from him. He knew that she wasn’t aware of his feelings, of the fact that he had fallen desperately in love with everything that he had once despised. His conditioning as the only Malfoy heir, and apparent next right-hand of Voldemort had been good training in concealing his emotions. He never gave her a single sign that he loved her, only a cool professional courtesy, mimicking almost exactly that which she gave him. The only times that they had together were the releasing of passion, of frustration and of pain. The stolen nights were all that he had to keep him going, and yet he believed that to her, all it was and would ever be was a release, a way to cope with the pain.

Tell me that we belong together

Dress it up with the trappings of love

Staring at the witch in front of him, he knew that he had been wrong. He knew now that she had loved him, and had reached out to him in the only way she knew how. He knew that the pain she was killing within herself was not that of the slow but steady death of her friend’s, but that of what she believed to be an unrequited love. All the nights that she had cried on his shoulder, sobbing out his pain as he had tried to take it away, in the only way he knew how due to his immensely closed-off emotional state, and she had been crying for the one thing he wanted to give her more than anything else.

I'll be your crying shoulder

And now she was here in front of him. His lioness, his goddess. When he had stopped being able to kill the pain and began to cause only more of it, she had taken matters into her own hands. Literally. Lying now on the ground under the tree where they had shared their first encounter was her lifeless body. He could see the knife lying a few feet away, and could see the crimson rivers pooling around her elegant hands.

I’ll be love’s suicide

He wish he could have told her in time. Wished that he’d known that she loved him. He had found the note she had left on his pillow and rushed down here, but he had been too late. He watched as her eyes fluttered closed, and she softly sighed her last breath. His angel, taken away from him by his own naivety and failure to see that which was right in front of him.

I’ll be better when I’m older

He knelt down beside her, unwilling to touch her. He wanted to hold her, to pull her tight to him and tell her that she was loved. That she was perfect. But she looked so peaceful lying there. Even when the war had ended two months ago, she had not looked so calm. But then, he supposed, not everyone lost their two best friends at the age of nineteen. And now he, at the same age, had lost the same. His best friend, his lover. He had lost the only pure thing in the world which he could call his own… never even knowing that he had her in the first place. His goddess.

He knew that it was time to let her go. Flicking his wand, a similar tomb to that which had become Dumbledore’s resting place began to form around her limp body. He stared as she slowly disappeared into a foggy haze, and then she was gone. All that was left now was a grassy knoll, and statue that said simply ‘The greatest witch the world has ever known, and the only love my heart has ever felt’.

I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.

[Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr.] Come the Morrow

2006-02-18T10:35:43Z

Title: Come the Morrow
Characters: Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr.
Rating: PG
Word Count: roughly 400
Summary: A contradiction, he cannot help but observe her - for come the morrow, she would be gone.
Author's Notes: Sort of underage - although nothing illegal! Hermione is in 4th year. Thanks go to the_ladys_opal for the beta and her encouragement to try out this pairing. Written for the challenge at 7spells

It was the night before the third and final challenge of the Triwizard Tournament. Bartemius Crouch Junior, currently known to the Hogwarts population as one Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody, sat at the head table in the Great Hall. Although he maintained a polite conversation with Minerva, the magical eye of which he was currently in possession swivelled constantly around the expansive chamber, watchful for any sign of an occurrence which would cause trouble to the plans that he had laid so carefully for the coming event.

However, his eye stopped when it reached the section of the Hall where what Hogwarts generally referred to as the 'Trio' were sitting. He saw the Potter boy... idiot child, nod to him in acknowledgement, as if he thought that Barty was actually paying attention to him. The Boy Who Would Soon Die, however, did not concern him at the present time, although Barty knew that he should. Instead, his attention was drawn by the girl sitting next to Potter.

He shouldn't be this fascinated with her. She was a Gryffindor, a child... a Mudblood. He was the most loyal servant of the Dark Lord... and yet still he found himself incapable of ignoring her presence. He didn't think that he was physically attracted to her... although she had been stunning at the Yule Ball. It wasn't that.

It was that she was a contradiction. By all that he believed in, he knew that she should be so many things. Stupid. Ugly. Inferior.

But she wasn't.

She was the most intelligent girl he had ever met. She was beautiful. And she was superior to every single student in Hogwarts. In particular the traitor Malfoy's snivelling excuse for a son.

Still, he knew that she was tainted. Burdened by blood and friendship, which would see her taken to her grave. His plans were almost complete, and the Dark Lord would rise as planned. And he would watch as she died.

Watching her now, continuing his sweep of the Hall, he resolved to let her have one last night of peace. One last dinner with her friends. It was the least he could give one such as her.

Come the morrow, she would be dead

The Credit Post

2006-02-13T22:13:43Z

Here you'll find the credit that needs to be given for all of the images, be they icons, manips, whatever, that needs to be given. This post will be updated as I update my resources, and will be linked to from any post I give where I have used the work of others in order to create my own. It's under the cut so that I don't clog my friends page.

Brushes
wonderland__, dj43, oh_pants, ewanism, glass_prism, _iconsbyrovie, braggadocio_org, ohfreckle, wolfgrrl, iconvexity, scarsonchest, colorfilter, neke, my_givenchy. oxoniensis, asya_17

Manips
tumbledstars, apostrophethis, appledoodle, herphiliasweytie_piy

firetide @ 2006-02-13T00:33:00

2006-02-12T23:33:17Z

Hmmm, sorry that I haven't updated with things recently. I've been extremely sick - turns out that the migranes I was suffering from for two weeks were in fact the product of carbon monoxide poisoning, due to me smoking whilst being on the pill. And interesting experience, and not entirely a fun one - I had to go to hospital for treatment, and the doctors thought that I had a blood clot in my brain. That was an extremely scary four hours. I've been told to give up smoking, or die within the next two years.

I've given up smoking.

In better news though, I'm currently doing two challenges - as previously mentioned, the challenge at alphabeticons, and another challege at 7spells. The first one is a Dramione - but the second one isn't! It's a challenge designed to get you jumping into writing new pairings/characters... and I've chosen to do one for Barty Crouch Jnr/Hermione. Weird, I know!

Of the icons, I've currently done 16/50 - so I'm getting there. You can view the ones I've already done here. I'm not going to post them in batches - I'll wait until I've gotten them all done. Feel free to snag them - just remember to credit! I've done the bases for another 6, and am just deciding on what text to use.

For the 7spells challenge, I've started writing for my first topic - 'One Last Dinner'. Does anyone want to beta for me *looks hopefully at Joy*? Without possessing my copy of the fourth book at the moment, I'm relying on such wonderful sources as the Lexicon for information to keep me as close to canon as possible, but I know that I'm going to make some mistakes. Hopefully nothing too major.

In other stuff, I've also started writing a request fic for Joy, and am hoping to start work on Nemo again soon - I'd almost finished the sixth chapter when my computer crashed, and I lost all of it. So, I'm hoping to find some time this week to start rewriting it. I've got plot bunnies coming out of my ears - but the muse doesn't seem to want to make them into actual stories. Hopefully it'll all work itself out soon.

That's about all for now - hopefully I'll be posting some works soon :o).

x Mikhaila

[Hermione/Barty Crouch Jnr.] Prompt Table

2006-02-12T12:26:54Z

7spells HP Fanfiction Challenge
Author: firetide
Character/Pairing: Barty Jnr/Hermione

1. One Last Dinner - Come the Morrow

2. Draw the Line in the Sand

3. To the Last Syllable of Recorded Time

4. Candle in the Window

5. Ribbon

6. If You Wanted Honesty

7. The Ballroom at Midnight

Progress: 1/7

Because there isn't enough....

2006-02-08T20:33:17Z

I got bored today.

- 20 Draco screenshots from POA

<-- personal favourite

Feel free to steal them :o). Hope that you enjoy.

x Mikhaila

x-posted to dramione, draco_hermione, dramionepirates, firetide

[Draco/Hermione] Manips

2006-02-05T23:00:43Z

Three manips for you guys today! I apologise for their crappiness - these are the first manips that I've ever done, so I'm kind of new to this.

Note: I know that one like this has already been made - mine is different, and entirely my own work. If you look closely, you'll see they're holding hands :o).

In other news, I've taken up the challenge over at alphabeticons. My subject is Draco/Hermione as a ship :o). So expect to be seeing 50 100% Dramione icons from me in the near future.

x Mikhaila

firetide @ 2006-01-29T16:55:00

2006-01-29T15:55:59Z

Hi all,

No updates at this time, sorry to say. I just wanted to rec a story to all of you. Not a Dramione, a Potterverse, or in fact any form of fanfiction.

This is an original story of a friend of mine, soul_harvester, which I happen to reckon is pretty damn good.

Well, it's actually two stories, which are a continuation of each other. It's called The Adventures of Soul & Krystal

Not as crappy as it sounds. It features intrigue, war, love, people dying, telepathic abilities, and the destruction of America.

Total it's currently sitting at around 60 chapters, I believe. So, if you've got some time, go and give it a read, and tell Jamie what you think of it. I think you'll all enjoy it.

Cheers,

x Mikhaila

[Draco/Hermione] No Bravery

2006-01-25T11:59:52Z

Title: No Bravery
Author: firetide
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Character death, and a lot of it.
Summary: He wants something from her that she will not give. Slowly, he starts to destroy her. Told from Harry's POV.

A/N: Songfic. All italics are from the song 'No Bravery' by James Blunt. Also, after my last computer crash, my computer died AGAIN, and I lost my harddrive. Which means I lost Chapter 6 of 'Nemo', which I had almost finished the night before. So it'll take me a while to rework it.

Curses on the computer gods.

I hope you enjoy the story. Criticism is welcomed, just don't flame.

x Mikhaila.

x-posted.

There are children standing here,
Arms outstretched into the sky,
Tears drying on their face.
He has been here.

Harry watched her face as they surveyed the wreackage of what had once been an orphanage. A place for those children who had been left with no-one after one of Voldemort's followers had killed their families whilst they had been at Hogwarts. All were children that he and Hermione had known, or at least known of. Many were lying dead, those few who had managed to escape were sitting in corners crying.

He saw her take something from the table that was next to her. One word, in familiar handwriting, scrawled lightly across the page.

Soon.

Brothers lie in shallow graves.
Fathers lost without a trace.
A nation blind to their disgrace,
Since he's been here.

Ron was dead. Ron, and Mr Weasley. Yet again, the Order had sent Harry and Hermione on the quest to investigate the Dark Mark floating over the house. This time, the Weasley house. He had watched as Hermione had fallen to her knees next to Ron's body, the tears slowly falling down her face. He knew that although she hadn't loved him as a boyfriend, she had loved him as a brother.

He saw her pick up another piece of paper. His stomach lurched as he recognized yet again the handwriting of the man who used to be her lover. She clenched it tightly in her hands, as if she could somehow pull the words into her blood, and stop others from knowing what he had turned into. But Harry still saw what he had written.

There is only one who can save them.

Houses burnt beyond repair.
The smell of death is in the air.
A woman weeping in despair says,
He has been here.

He held her as she cried. Draco had visited her tonight, had again asked her to do that which she would not. Harry wondered how he had gotten through the wards he had placed on Hermione's apartment, but he figured that for a wizard such as Draco, with the weight of Voldemort behind him, would not have too much trouble figuring out how to get to the woman he loved.

Harry mentally snorted as he thought of that word. Love. Draco didn't know the meaning of the word. He was obsessed with Hermione. Obsessed with owning her, with having her under his power. Something Harry knew that she refused to allow, even though he knew that Hermione loved him.

He listened as she sobbed out the story to him. Of what Draco wanted from her, of how it had all begun. Of how he had been wonderful, understanding, loving, in the beginning. Of how he had turned to Voldemort, had shown what he truly was. And yet still she could not stop loving him.

And Harry knew that it would never stop.

Tracer lighting up the sky.
It's another families' turn to die.
A child afraid to even cry out says,
He has been here.

It was her family's turn. He watched her as she clung to her mother's body, begging her to come back. He saw the light in her eyes dulling, saw the pain that was slowly consuming her flare up as she saw the piece of paper on the ground.

He knew what she was thinking. That she could have saved them, if she'd only gone with him to Voldemort when he asked her. That if she had sacrificed her own life, she could have spared that of her Mum. Her Dad. Mr Weasley. Ron.

He knew that it wouldn't have stopped what had happened. Just as he knew that Draco was still achieving his goal. That although Hermione wasn't dead, that her body lived, the flame inside of her was still slowly fading into nothing. He knew that only the embers remained now, that it would take only one more thing to break her completely.

He knew who the next target would be.

When darkness falls, I will be there.

Old men kneel and accept their fate.
Wives and daughters cut and raped.
A generation drenched in hate.
Yes, he has been here.

He lay dying. He knew that he had failed in his quest, he knew that Voldemort would now rule the world, Muggle and Wizarding alike, with an iron fist. He saw the bodies of so many lying around him. Remus. Tonks. Kingsley Shacklebolt. He knew that of all of them, only one had survived.

He found her, held tight in her lovers arms as they both watched him. She saw her try to turn away, saw Draco force her to watch as the only thing she had left to cling to fade slowly away.

He caught her eyes with his, and felt a pain that was not physical blossom in his chest. She was gone. Her eyes were blank, filled only with pain and despair.

Harry closed his eyes, not wanting to see someone who had once been so wonderful broken by the one person she had trusted above all else.

But as he felt the darkness slowly take him away, all he could picture was the woman she had become. His last thought was of what he had read in her eyes.

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

Icon Post!

2006-01-17T18:46:51Z

I am so sorry for my long absence again, but this time I claim complete innocence! My computer died - literally. It just crashed, I couldn't even get my operating system to start. I've been computer-less for about 2 weeks now. However, one of my amazing friends came around this afternoon and fixed everything - and I didn't lose a single one of my files.

Which is good, because I'd been working on a nice batch of icons. Which I can now share. So, I hope you enjoy!

- 5 Draco/Hermione
- 2 Hermione
- 1 Barty Crouch Jnr.
- 1 'The Notebook'
- 2 Booze

Draco/Hermione
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Hermione
6. 7.

Barty Crouch Jnr.
8.

The Notebook
9.

Booze
10. 11.

Manips are all by me, except for #7, credit for which goes to apostrophethis. If you'd like to use any of the manips, please let me know and I'll post them.

Please remember to comment + credit if taking! Or comment even if you're not taking - I like comments. I'm a comment whore.

♥ Mikhaila

firetide @ 2006-01-09T01:36:00

2006-01-09T00:36:15Z

Okay, so I know that I haven't updated this journal (properly, I mean), in a fairly long time, so I thought that I'd let you guys know that I'm not dead. Also, to let you know whats coming, as I've been quite busy.

Chapter 6 of 'Nemo' is currently in the works. I've actually started writing it, and hope to have it finished by the end of the week, so you all have that to look foward to. I've also been working on some Dramione icons. Six are finished (including the one I'm currently using!). I've halfway through about another 8, so I'm waiting until I finish them all to post them. the_ladys_opal and I are also working on requests for each other, which shall include smut. Hopefully I'll be able to get hers done soon - the charming darling has asked me to include Lucius in hers, which makes me happy. And I'm getting a bondage smut one in return *is happy*. Yes, I'm kinky :oP. I'm also working on another song fic, called 'Let You Down' - based on the song baring the same title by Three Days Grace, and have also started compiling a new D/Hr Soundtrack which I will call Brûler - for those of you who don't speak French, it means "to burn". Mostly rock music, and centered on the darker side of their relationship.

Outside of the Dramione world, I have discovered my love of Charlie/Hermione, and Barty Crouch Jr. Joy has asked me to make her some B.C. Jr. icons, which I am currently working on (I think that my muse decided to get itself an LJ, and pretend to be a hot English girl), as well as a Barty Crouch Jr./Hermione songfic, named 'These Chains That Hang Around Our Necks', based on the song 'What a Good Boy (Hairshirt)', by the Barenaked Ladies. I seem to be working on a lot of songfic's right now, but I go wherever my muse takes me. Maybe one day I'll get back to completely original pieces, but I honestly don't know if that will be happening in the near future.

To iwillpokeyou, sweden_girl25, & darkangel323, I'm so sorry that I haven't yet written (or started....) your request fics. I know I said I'd have them done by the end of November, but unfortunately reality decided to catch up with me, and I've been swamped... and it doesn't look like reality will be going away anytime in the near future. I will get them done though... I just don't know when. Please don't hate me :o(.

Also, I have a request, if anyone would like to fulfill it... I'm redoing the layout for this journal, and need a banner to go across the top, much in the style of the_ladys_opal (wow, my muse, I think thats the third mention you've gotten in this post!). I'd like a Dramione/Barty/Bella-esque kind of thing, nice and dark. Colour scheme wise I'm partial to blue, red, dark green and black. Does anyone want to do this for me? It will entail much love, credit, and possibly a cookie! I suck at banners, so seriously, if anyone can help me out, it would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, that's the end of this little update. Hopefully I'll have something more worthwhile reading in the future.

x Mikhaila

firetide @ 2006-01-03T15:26:00

2006-01-03T14:44:19Z

Hey all,

No story update this time, I just wanted to let you all that the charming and extremely talented Blue has finally updated her story, Pansy's Volcano, after over 2 months of drought. You can click the link below to read the new chapter, which upholds her high standard of writing.

Chapter 51

If you have yet to read this story, I seriously suggest that you do. It's my all time fanfiction favourite. Everyone I know speaks highly of this work, so go read it!

Oh... it's NC-17, so if you don't like smut, don't read it. I'm not going to tell people under 18 not to read it, because I know that if you want to, you won't listen to me. I've been reading smut since I was 15, so yeah. But you've been warned.

Pansy's Volcano

x Mikhaila

x-posted to dramione, draco_hermione, & dramionepirates

firetide @ 2005-12-06T23:40:00

2005-12-06T22:41:19Z

*A Random Harry Potter Survey!*
Name	Mikhaila
Age	19
Birthday	30th July 1986
Age when you first read Harry Potter	15
Favorite Book	Order of the Phoenix
Favorite Character(s)	Draco, Hermione, Ginny, Charlie
Favorite Proffesor(s)	Flitwick, Snape
Favorite House	Ravenclaw
Favorite Quidditch Team	Chudley Canons
Favorite Couple	Ginny/Dean Thomas
Favorite Magical Animal	Sphinx
Favorite Magical Place	Hogsmeade
Favorite Weasley	Charlie
Favorite Pet	Crookshanks
Favorite Order Member	Molly Weasley
Favorite Class	Charms
Favorite Wizarding Snack	Pumpkin Pasties
Favorite Gryffindor Student	Hermione
Draco or Harry?	Draco... oh how I want one!
H/Hr or R/Hr?	R/Hr
Snape or Lupin?	Snape
Crookshanks or Scabbers?	Crookshanks
Hedwig or Pig?	Hedwig
Harry or Ron?	Ron
Crabbe or Goyle?	Goyle
Canon/Fanon Draco?	Before the 5th book I would've said Canon... I now say Fanon with Canon traits (like the snarkiness!)
Canon/Fanon Snape?	Definately Canon
D/Hr or D/G?	D/Hr... it's love
H/D or H/SS?	I choose neither.
Your OTP?	Draco/Hermione, Charlie/Tonks
Favorite Slytherin	Draco
Cho - annoying or not?	Annoying.
*Fanfiction*
Do you write Fanfiction?	Yes indeed
Do you read Fanfition?	As much as humanly possible
Favorite Fanfiction?	"Pansy's Volcano" by Blue Midget
Canon or Fanon?	Canon
One shot or Novel length?	Depends on the story
Fluff or Angst?	Angst
Darkfic?	Yes
Very Powerful Harry?	No
Very Sexy Draco?	Draco is very sexy anyway wink
Gen, Het, or Slash?	Het
Fanfiction Petpeeves?	Fluffy Draco, Weak Hermione
*Books*
Did you Cry when Cedric Died?	No... I was cranky though
Did you cry when Sirius Died?	Yup
All time favorite part	Draco Malfoy, the amazing, bouncing ferret
Were you mad about the whole H/C mistake?	Nope
Do you like Viktor Krum?	No... he stole Hermione from Draco!
Do you like Cho Chang?	Not particularly... whingey bitch.
Do you like Fluer?	Yes, I do.
Do you like Cedric?	Yes
What did you think of the Prophecy?	Welcome to the world, Harry.
Which characters need more development?	Ginny, Draco, and Charlie
Did Harry pass his O.W.Ls in Potions?	Of course. He got an E
Will Harry die or survive at the end of book 7?	Survive
Do you like the Marauders?	Most definately... except Pettigrew.
Light side or dark side?	Light... with a little bit of a grey area
Who do you think is the HBP?	Snape
Who do you think will die in HBP?	Dumbledore
Who do you think Harry's new "love interest" is in HBP?	Ginny
What do you think will be the "something huge" revealed about Lily Potter?	Something about her origins
Are you a Luna fan?	Eh. I'm ambivilant
Favorite Marauder?	James
Is Harry going to be back on the quidditch team?	Yup... and he'll be captain.
How well do you think Harry will cope with Sirius's death in HBP?	Like he copes with everything - repressing and yelling at his friends.
Do you think Harry will be even more angry in HBP than in OotP?	No, I think he'll calm down a little.
Will Ron or Hermione die in either of the next 2 books?	No, I don't think so.
How do you think Ron and Hermione will react when they find out about the prophecy?	Shocked
*Harry Potter Movies*
Do you like the movies as much as the books?	No
Hottest HP actor?	Tom Felton
Do you think Emma Watson is too girly for Hermione?	Yes
What do you think of Ruperts long hair in GoF?	HOT!
Daniel Radcliffe or Rupert Grint?	Rupert Grint
Chris Columbus or Alfonso?	Chris Columbus
Was the warewolf too bald?	Yes
What scene did they leave out in the movie you wish they hadn't?	All of the info about the Marauders
Favorite movie moment?	Draco scowling at Hermione
Least favorite movie moment?	Hermione punching Draco... it was done all wrong
Favorite character in movie?	Draco :o)
Favorite Movie?	I suspect, once I get around to seeing it, GoF
Was that how you imagined the basalisk?	Nope... it was too pale
Do you wish Richard Harris could still play Dumbledore?	Oh yes...
Do you think Snape is sexy?	Not in the movies... I have a thing about bad teeth and greasy hair.
Do you wish you looked like Emma Watson?	Actually... when my hair is it's natural colour and un-straightened... I already sort of do.
And for the lst question, how has Harry Potter changed your life?	Given me something new to obsess about
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

firetide @ 2005-11-28T18:59:00

2005-11-28T17:59:30Z

You scored as Ginny Weasley. You definitely share your mother's (Molly Weasley) fiery resolve and slowly but surely people are learning to respect you because of it.

</td>

Ginny Weasley

75%

Draco Malfoy

70%

Albus Dumbledore

70%

Ron Weasley

65%

Sirius Black

60%

Harry Potter

60%

Hermione Granger

60%

Remus Lupin

55%

Severus Snape

50%

Lord Voldemort

30%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

[Draco/Hermione] Closure

2005-11-28T17:53:18Z

Title: Closure
Author: firetide
Rating: NC-17 - Definately not a bedtime story for the kids.
Word Count: 2,687 (Longest one-shot I've ever written)
Warnings: Graphic sexual references, cheating husband, a bit angsty.
Summary: It's been 5 years since she's seen him. Left with memories of stolen nights and lost days, she has no idea what the future will hold.

A/N: Written for the_ladys_opal, who requested: Draco married to Pansy, and meeting Hermione at a reunion or something. Reformed but still bitchy Draco. Hotness: True NC-17, RAARG, grr, I.Want.You.But.It's Wrong. Sexy Hermione, in charge. Ending which is neither happy or sad - Draco and Hermione not together at the end, but that isn't a bad thing.

In other news, I'm swamped with work at the moment - I have to write a 4 page essay in French by Friday, and have barely started. As such, looks like all other promised fics and the other 3 stories I'm working on at the moment are being put on the backburner. I am hoping to get another chapter of Nemo done by Christmas, but no promises.

In other news, Nemo got nominated at an awards site! I am very excited and proud about this. I don't care if I don't win, I'm just happy to be nominated.

It had been 5 years since she had seen him.

Since the end of Hogwarts, and the final battle, she had been working in Australia as a cursebreaker, and had had neither time nor motive to return to Britain. With the death of both her parents and her friends, she had wanted to escape to a place as far away as possible, to a place where she knew no-one, and where no-one knew her. Where she wasn't Hermione Granger, the only survivor of the Golden Trio after the defeat of Voldemort in what should have been her 7th Year at Hogwarts. She, Ron, and Harry had travelled the world, searching for the remaining Horcruxes in which Voldemort had encased his soul. Working with her two best friends, she had learnt to love the intricacy and determination involved with cursebreaking, as of course Voldemort had had many layers of protections over his most prized possessions.

She had chosen Australia because it had been the only continent that she, Harry, and Ron had not visited together. There were no memories there, and she could be alone. She was kept busy in the deserts and in the more remote areas of the country, which were plentiful. Aboriginal Wizardry dated back as far as the European traditions, and with a different climate, and different fauna and flora, she found it an interesting challenge, that allowed her to keep busy, and not to think. To allow herself to forget.

For a time, she had succeeded. But tonight, seeing him again, brought it all back. Brought back the memories, the pain, the screaming. The death of her parents at his father's hand, the death of Ron at his own, and the death of Harry at his masters.

But mostly, it brought back the memories of stolen nights and lost days.

After the death of Dumbledore, he and Snape had fled the country together, waiting until the death of Dumbledore had lost some of it's hurt, and the people had forgotten some of their anger. They had then contacted Professor McGonagall, and Draco and Snape had continued to spy for the Order, bringing them valuable information, which had eventually led to Harry being able to defeat Voldemort. She had been his appointed liason, as neither Harry nor Ron could be within 10 feet of him without wanting to hex him into oblivion.

It was working with him, in silence and in secrecy, that she had learned to love him. Once he had found his place, had decided to do what he wanted to do instead of being told what to do, he had turned out to be both intelligent and brave. Two qualities which she admired in anyone.

Of course, their relationship hadn’t been all moonbeams and levitating feathers. They were too passionate for that, too headstrong. They still fought, constantly, their relationship being one of burning passion and scalding words. They’d be close to hexing each other one moment, rolling around naked in his room the next. It was just the way that they worked - and it was what they had both wanted, and needed, to get them through the impending battle.

They had only been together for 2 months, in secrecy of course, when the final battle had been brought forth, ironically at Hogwarts, in the place that it had begun for all of them. He had deflected a curse aimed by Ron for his mother, knowing what she had done for him, how she had unknowingly saved him, not from the wrath of Voldemort, but from a path that he was not meant to take.

Of course, Ron had accused Draco of converting back to being a Death Eater, of using them in order to spy for Voldemort. They had begun to duel, with Draco eventually winning. Hermione had seen the whole thing whilst battling against McNair, and although she knew that Draco had only been defending himself, watching him kill her best friend tore her up inside.

When she discovered Harry's limp body lying next to that of Voldemort's, the evil bastard finally dead at last, something within her had snapped. She had run, and run fast. She knew that, despite McGonagall's assurances that she was alive, the majority of the wizarding world believed her to be dead. She had remained in contact with no-one but Minerva, prefering a life of solitude, where she could heal, and become the woman she was meant to be.

Tonight, however, she was making her re-entry into the world of British wizardry. Tonight, after years of effort by some of the most amazing witches and wizards in the world, Hogwarts was finally re-opening to educate the next generation of Britain's blossoming witches and wizards. She had been asked to fill the post of Transfigeration Professor, as Minerva would be the new Headmistress. She had accepted, prepared now to start her life over in a world of peace.

He was standing with his back to her, talking to a witch of their own age that Hermione didn't recognize. She looked to be a couple of months pregnant. She was standing by herself next to the door to the grounds - being late autumn, most of the guests preferred to stay closer to the drinks table, where it was much warmer. She still wanted to be alone at the moment, not willing to face another round of Mrs Weasley's questions about what she had been doing for the past 5 years, or another person shaking her hand, welcoming her back and congratulating her on her newly gained teaching post.

He looked different. He had filled out more since she had last seen him - but he still carried his unmistakable air of someone who was used to having people differ to him. Same old insufferable git, she thought to herself.

Deciding to brave the crowd in order to get a drink, she was suprised half way across the Great Hall when she felt someone imperiously grab her elbow. No, not someone. She'd recognise that touch anywhere.

"Granger. Didn't expect to see you here."

"Malfoy. Knew I'd see you here. How've you been?" she delivered the lines in a cool, calculated tone, unwilling to let him see the inner turmoil his presence had created within her.

He smirked at her, before beginning to direct her towards the door, in order to talk better.

"Oh, this and that. I've been busy trying to rebuild my family's reputation mainly - including our fortune. Lucius made quite a significant dent in my inheritance, and I refuse to allow the next generation of Malfoy's to be raised in anything other than the splendour that they're entitled to."

This last line was delivered as the woman he had previously been talking to made her way over to them. Hermione's eyes widened as she recognized Pansy Parkinson.

Or, should she say, Pansy Malfoy, noticing how she took Draco's arm, and the wedding bands on both their fingers.

"Hermione, how simply lovely to see you again!" Pansy all but gushed. "I had no idea that you were going to be here tonight. Isn't this simply divine?. Now our daughter will be able to be educated in the same place her parents were."

Hermione merely smiled at her, feeling dazed, and slightly angry. She turned to Draco, and saw him looking back at her, something strange in his eyes. Not guilt, or anything like that. There was just... something. She knew that she needed to talk to him, she needed to know what the hell was going on.

"It is wonderful, isn't is Pansy? Congratulations on the forthcoming event. Would you mind though if I stole your husband for a moment? I'd really like to catch up with him, and I'm feeling quite hot in here. Maybe if we stepped outside for a moment?"

She grabbed Draco's elbow, and dragged him out into the grounds. Once she reached her intended destination, a quiet grove within sight of the Great Hall, but still secluded, she whirled around to face him, feeling all the anger, all the hurt of the past 5 years rising to the surface of her mind.

"Married, Malfoy?" she spat at him. "Huh. Guess that I should have expected it - you never could keep your promises, could you?"

She felt him push her towards the bench, trying to get her to sit down, to calm down, but she wasn't having any of it.

"You promised that you'd wait for me, you bastard! You promised that you'd love me forever, and I come back and find you in the arms of that pug-faced whore! Did I mean nothing to you? I loved you! Was there nothing in what we had for each other, that you could forget me so quickly?"

Hermione stopped to take in a breath, tears shimmering in her eyes.

However, something had snapped in Draco at her words, and he looked at her now with anger in his eyes.

“Quickly? Quickly? You’ve been gone for 5 years. What in Merlin’s name did you expect me to do? I waited for you. I searched for you! I looked everywhere I possibly could for you, for three long years. I thought that you were dead! Everyone thought you were dead.” His voice began to crack as he looked at her, finally seeing the tears subside, beginning to be replaced with hurt, pain, and understanding.

“If you wanted me so badly, like you claim to, that you love me, you would have stayed. Pansy was here, Granger. She was there for me when you weren’t. And… well, one thing led to another. I didn’t think that you’d be coming back. What did you expect me to do, wait around like Weasley did for his entire life?” he spat at her.

The mention of Ron’s name broke something in her. She knew that he hadn’t meant to kill him, knew that it wasn’t intentional… but right now, she couldn’t think straight, couldn’t use the logic that she was so renowned for.

Stepping up close to him, she spoke very quietly, anger dripping from every syllable.

“Don’t you dare speak Ron’s name in that way, Ferret. You don’t have the right.”

“The right? Granger, I have the right to do or say whatever I choose. You left me, remember? He tried to kill my mother, and he tried to kill me. I was only protecting myself, as you damn well know, so don’t start in on your “holier than thou” routine again, because Merlin knows, it’s grown old!”

Looking down at her, he could see the tears slowly falling down her cheeks. Shit. He hadn’t meant to make her cry.

Taking her in his arms, he pulled her tight against him. Holding her in his arms again felt so right. It was as if this was where he was meant to be. Taking hold of her chin, he gently titled her face until she was looking up at him. Leaning down, he captured her lips with his own, tracing his tongue against her lips until she opened them, ravishing her mouth as he felt his passion for her rise inside him.

Hermione responded eagerly to his kiss, running her fingers through his hair and pulling him tighter against her. Taking control, she turned them around and pushed him down onto the bench, straddling his lap as she moved her lips to his neck, suckling hard on his neck.

Trailing her hands down his chest, she ripped his shirt off him, eager to feel his skin beneath her fingers. She raked her nails across his erect nipples, causing him to moan as she replaced her nails with her teeth, nipping and sucking her way down his torso as she slipped between his legs onto the ground.

Her hands deftly undid the buttons on his pants as she moved closer towards her destination. Divesting him of his remaining clothes, she looked eagerly at the weeping cock in front of her. Merlin, he was still as big as she remembered.

Leaning forward, she captured the head of his cock in her mouth, sucking on it like she would a lollypop, taking his balls in her small hand at the same time, rolling them around as she pinched and teased. Feeling him thrust up towards her, she took him deeper into her mouth, until he was hitting the back of her throat. Ignoring her gag reflex, she took him into her throat and began to hum, the vibrations causing him to moan and run his fingers through her hair. She could feel herself dripping into her knickers, almost certain that she was leaking onto the grass between her knees, she felt so aroused.

Feeling his balls tighten, she pulled away from him, causing him to groan and look down at her.

“No, Malfoy. Not yet. I want you inside me when you come.”

Her words caused him to growl as his arms hooked beneath hers and hauled her up towards him, once again capturing her mouth in a kiss that took her breath away. She felt him push the top of her gown down until it puddled around her waist as his fingers attacked her nipples, followed rapidly by his mouth, as he pushed her breasts together in order to attack both of her nipples at the same time.

Whilst Draco was continuing his ministrations, Hermione reached down and pulled her knickers off, tossing them carelessly onto the ground next to Draco’s clothes. Feeling him start to move further downwards, she pulled him back up as she stradled him, holding his cock in her hand.

“No. Want you. Now.” she panted out as she lowered herself, feeling him fill her for the first time in 5 years.

They both groaned at the contact, Hermione grabbing his face between her hands, kissing him violently as she began to move along his length. Starting out slowly at first, she increased her rhythm as her passion increased, feeling Draco pushing up against her, mashing his pubic bone against her clit every time she enveloped him within her core.

She could feel the heat rising within her body, and knew that she was about to come. Raking her nails along his chest again, she whispered against his ear “Come for me Draco. Come with me.”

Hearing her whisper those words in such an authoritarian tone caused Draco to grab her hips and pull her down against him hard. Feeling her kiss him again, he groaned as he felt her muscles spasm against his cock, milking him until the world faded away and there was nothing left but his cock and Hermione’s pussy.

Feeling Hermione roll off him, Draco realised what he had just done. Getting up off the bench, he retrieved his clothes, putting them back on after a quick Reparo, as Hermione pulled her gown back up, and Accio’d her knickers.

Feeling conflicted, and not knowing what to do, Draco resorted to his characteristic sarcasm as his looked down at the witch in front of him.

“So. Guess now that we’ve had our ‘one last shag’, you’re going to be buggering off back to Merlin knows where, and I’m not going to see you again for another 5 years? At least I get to say goodbye this time.”

"This isn't goodbye, Draco." Her voice was soft as she looked up at him from her place on the bench. "This is... I suppose you could call it closure. It's over now, for both of us. You have a wife, one who loves you, and whom you love. I have, well, no-one, but that's okay for now. I think it's what I need - to be able to move on. From the past, from you. I need to stop running from my past, from our past, and become the witch that I'm meant to be."

Rising slowly from her seated position, Hermione kissed him lightly on the cheek, before beginning to walk away. Turning back to face him for a moment, she called out.

"You'd just better name me godmother to your daughter!"

Poetry: Angel

2005-08-20T01:28:13Z

Poetry time today! I found this the other day, even though I wrote it ages ago. I love this piece - yes I'm self pimping, and no, I don't care. Anyway, on to the poem.

♥ Mikhaila

Title: Angel
Word Count: 206
Rating: PG
Summary: Fly me away to a place where I can find peace.

Fly me away far from here
From a place where all that happens is endless pain
Angel, take me to an oasis
Where joy is found in every grain of sand
That surrounds my haven beautiful.

Angel, walk me around the streets so peaceful
Deserted, yet I wonder not why
They're peaceful, Angel, I embrace them
I find solace in their love

Look there in the water deep
I see a reflection, but it is not mine
You made me a mirror Angel!
One where the soul is reflected
Not the outter pain that torments me.

Oh Angel can I stay here with you
In my oasis pure and sweet
Where the waterfall sings my name
The rocks and trees beckon me with every movement
And the streets embrace me in their silence.

Don't fly away, lift me with your wings
Oh Angel come back and take me
To that place where I can fly
I'll follow you off the edge, you beckon me
And I can fly

Angel you took me to the oasis
Where the air is sweet and the streets hold me
I can find comfort here.
I can leave the world standing there on that cliff
Angel you taught me to fly

Two Original Pieces!

2005-07-27T10:00:25Z

Two works of fiction for you guys today! One is a story that I've been working on for a writing competition at University, and the other is one that was just random thoughts in my head. The second one is a total plot-what-plot, I just wrote it when I was feeling depressed, but I still thought it worthy of inclusion. Let me know what you think of them.

♥ Mikhaila

Title: Almost Pessimistic
Word Count: 1077
Rating: M
Summary: Sometimes, we're not what we think we are.

People. They are so incredibly screwed up. I never used to think that. When I was a little girl, I used to think that the world was my oyster. That no matter what I did, that people would love me, the sun would continue shining, and that I would go to sleep at night with my Mummy or Daddy reading me a story. I suppose that my opinion of the world changed over a period of about 12 years. Everyone who gets to know me always tells me that it’s disturbing to see someone so young being so pessimistic. Normally, I just smile, nod politely, and ask them if they’d like to know what an eighteen year old woman who apparently has everything she could ever want crashes on the party that is the world. I offer them my life story. Most of them are taken back by this - I think that they expect me to tell them that they’re right, and now that I know I’m pessimistic, I’ll work on changing it. Except for one guy. Very gorgeous young man - but even more cynical than I am. More observing too, I think. So, I told him my life story.

It all started when I was six years old. In that year, my parents got divorced, about a month after their 10th wedding anniversary. Being so young, I didn’t really understand any of it. All I knew was that one day my Daddy was there, and the next he was telling my sister and I that he loved us, and that he’d see us on Sunday. Now, don’t misunderstand me, I never blamed myself for what happened between my parents. I blamed someone else for that. But even to this day, I still wonder why he walked out that door. I was my Dad’s little princess, you see. I still am, in many ways. Daddy’s little girl. I still have dreams of walking down that aisle, in a gorgeous white dress, on my Dad’s arm. I know that it is never going to happen, but hey, just because I’m cynical doesn’t mean that I don’t dream. Therefore, my faith in the constancy in life was destroyed.

So, that all happened. The world was okay for about 6 years more - I went on my merry way, not really caring about much else. I was, after all, a child. Then high school happened. It was one of the biggest trials I have ever had to go through in my short life. I was bullied mercilessly, especially in Years 7 & 8. It wasn’t that I was too fat, too ugly, too mean, too bitchy, or too anything really. I was actually quite cute, in a really offbeat kind of way. It was that I was different. I actually cared about things. I cared about my grades, my friends, my family. I had a life that I was happy with. And so some jerks in my school decided that since their lives weren’t all that fantastic, they were going to try to take away mine. And they did. They destroyed everything inside of me that made me happy. They completely destroyed my world. Boys wouldn’t date me, because if they did they too would become social outcasts. I lost most of my friends, because to be seen with me doomed anyone to becoming a social failure. My life sucked, and I was hurting more that I could ever have thought possible.

My self esteem over those six years plummeted. Whenever people ask me if self confidence can be faked, I always reply in the affirmative. I learnt how to fake it. I could have the worst day possible, go home, and tell my Mum that I’d had the best day in the world. No matter what people did to me, I smiled at them. But inside, my heart was breaking. My self esteem got so low that I actually began to believe what my tormentors told me. I was fat. I was ugly. And so I became those things. I ate until I wanted to throw my guts up. And I did. And so my stint with an eating disorder began. Over two years, I was alternatively a compulsive over -eater and bulimic. I‘ve never truly gotten over it. There are still days when I feel absolutely disgusted with myself, when all I want to do is to purge until there is nothing left inside me. No food, no pain, no life. Nothing. Until I am completely empty physically as I am emotionally.
But the thing that made me hurt the most? No-one noticed, or even cared. My parents, my so-called friends. No-one ever managed to notice that I was in pain. I was crying myself to sleep every night, and no-one cared. My Mum gave up on me pretty early on, and to this day her family are still telling me what a failure I am. That I’m not thin enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I disrespect my mother. I don’t make the correct choices. I’ve never been good enough for them, and I doubt that I ever will be. My whole life was spent, until recently, searching for the approval of people that were never going to approve of me. Searching for the love of those same people, who are never going to be able to love me. My whole life has been based on a lie, based on trying to be something that I’m not, and never will be. On being what they want me to be.

When I finished my story, the story of my life, he looked at me, with a question on his lips.
“Do you still have your faith in love?”
I looked at him, startled by the question, and not entirely understanding his meaning.
“Excuse me?”
“You spoke of walking down the aisle in that beautiful white dress. Do you still believe in love?”
I hesitated. He looked deep into my eyes, and for once in my life I found myself telling someone else the truth about me.
“Yes.”
One word. With that word, he smiled at me, a trifle sadly it seemed.
“Then you are not pessimistic. You still have love, and the things that come with it. Faith. Hope. You are indeed one of the least cynical people I know, for still believing in love. You’re almost like me though. Almost pessimistic.”
Almost.

Title: Inside us All
Word Count: 563
Rating: MA (for language)
Warnings: Really bad language, references to bulimia and self-harm
Summary: Is what is considered to be abnormal really what it seems, or is it just something that people won't admit to?

Sometimes it’s soothing to just sit in your room, listening to music. Allowing the waves of sound to wash over you. Without judgement, prejudice, hate, love. Without emotion. They just exist. The notes can be interpreted in any way that you choose for them to be.

For me, music is what drugs are to other people. They are an escape. A way to save my soul from the torment that I cannot explain or discard. I’m not an entirely bad person. I know that I have my good points and my bad points. I am both black and white, kind and cruel, good and evil. I am both, because nature is both. There is no purity in this world.

According to the standards of the world, I’m pretty much fucked up. I have depression, you see. Which is apparently the most common form of mental illness. I have been taking a blade to my skin for three years, and purging my body of food for three. I understand how society could think that I’m someone who has a lot of problems.

But I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m not. A lot of people who know me, when questioned, would answer that I am an outgoing, social person, with a beautiful smile and a sparkle in my eyes. They would tell you that at times I can be overly dramatic, that I’m attention-seeking, and that when provoked I can be a complete and utter bitch. But never once would someone say that I am anything other than normal. Anything other than what I am.

For I find art in the smooth motion of a sharp blade along smooth skin. In the blood that seeps to the surface in the wake of the knife, dripping slowly down my arm. The little rivers of red as the blade flicks once more. Crimson paint on a porcelain canvas.

I find poetry in the purging of my body. The weightless feeling of emptiness that for a few moments allows me to fly. I am everything and I am nothing. I am pure, even if only for a moment.

I am free.

I think that that is what most people need to understand about me. That for me, music is an escape. As is the art of a blade running across my skin, or the poetry in purging my body of food. Because sometimes, everyone needs a little holiday from who they are. Some people take drugs. Some people listen to music. Some people read books, or watch movies. Some people create small streams of blood. There are endless options. Which all have equal merit, validity, and healing properties.

The only difference is how society views these methods of escaping into freedom. Of escaping into the state in which I believe all are truly meant to exist. One might look at the world and see endless faces, going home, to their jobs, to school. People laughing and talking and smiling with each other. But these are only masks. Paper faces on parade, because everyone is afraid that if they were to show who they really are, what they really believe, that society will ridicule them. On the surface, it looks quiet. But if you could hear the thoughts, if you could hear the pain screaming on the inside… it’s deafening.

And it’s inside all of us.