all I can see is red, red, red, red, red

Like stars burning holes right through the dark

2011-01-05T01:55:58Z

Dream sequence, with Saix. Written for in-game New Year's event.

Where he expects the Darkness to appear that night, it doesn't; it's there, on the edges of the streets Axel walks, hissing, seething, reaching, but it doesn't come out. Maybe it's the brightness. Axel didn't know that even in the depths of night the moon can be that huge, that full, gilding everything in an edge of ghostly white, and in that crazy half-light he wanders, fearless and restless, waiting for something to come from the shadows. The moon stays above him all the time, never more than a quarter or so obscured by even the tallest of skyscrapers. His own personal spotlight, shining down on him, marking him out.

Come on, then. Come out and find me.

There's a place he wanders through often enough in Sector 4, a traffic circle with a fountain in the middle like a huge reflecting pool. No vehicles, of course, not at this time of night. The moonlight catches and ripples over the bubbling of water, a glimmering of light in the middle of a circle of gray concrete, and beside it someone stands, black-clothed, black-hooded. He waits in a patch of pale brightness, and that's when Axel understands: it isn't him the light has been marking out.

"A moon-drenched impasse," he says aloud.

Saix lifts a single hand to push back his cowl. Beneath blue hair his eyes are yellow and empty. "Very good, Axel."

"You should have come sooner." He sounds so friendly. Axel would have killed him first, never mind waiting for the right time: he would have done it, and burned away the corpse until there was nothing left. In a way it's his right, isn't it? And more important, maybe, is that he could, he could have killed him. Can kill him.

"Axel." Saix's voice is as empty as his eyes, but Axel's used to that, isn't he? It's never disturbed him and never will. "You shouldn't have died before I had my chance. Always a traitor until the end. Where is your loyalty? Did you ever possess even a shred of it?"

Axel laughs. "We're Nobodies, Saix. What kind of loyalty do we have?"

"To the Organization. To the Superior. We could have had back what we lost."

That's always been something between them. "I don't want it back."

"So you left me with no choice." Saix extends a hand, palm out in front of his chest, and Axel waited for the claymore to appear before he called his own chakrams. "I would have killed you then, but I'll do it here instead. You deserve it, Axel."

"You're right about that, I'm sure." There's no fear, of course; he doesn't feel it, doesn't even have it inside him. Not so substantial an emotion; the void in him is too vast to be filled. Beneath the moon, Saix's eyes seem to brighten. The pale cast increases and drives back the shadows, and Axel adds the orange glow of his fire: the place needs a little color, anyway.

*

"Hey, Saix, remember when we were kids?"

The two of them, and the elderly keeper of a shop for arms supplies; she'd needed pack mules for a delivery to the castle, and Lea, never one to squander an opportunity, had dragged Isa as far as the northwest foyer before they'd been caught. Their ears still smarted from being yanked on the way out, but Lea was still certain their tenacity had made a good impression. Isa declared that he was dreaming; the shopkeeper only shook her head and wondered aloud why they were so much trouble.

"No," Saix says flatly. "I don't remember. Neither do you."

"I never thought I did." Axel stands at the center of crackling fire and steam hissing off the fountain; he doesn't hesitate to burn as hot as he can, but Saix hasn't shown his real power yet. "Terra and Ven reminded me, though. Remember Ven?"

Saix's eyes brighten. "I don't remember."

"Too bad. He's a good kid, but you'll never see him again."

"What makes you think I have any interest in those children?" It isn't just his eyes getting brighter; it's the light, the moon, the weapon in his hand. Axel feels his teeth clench; he's grinning hard and his hands tighten on the chakrams, ready. "My interest is in our mission, not a traitorous Keyblade wielder and a puppet."

Axel smiles. "You know something, Saix? The only time I remember you ever had a heart is when you get into one of your rages."

He sees that rage come over Saix's eyes, in the claymore, consuming him, and burns bright to meet it. Between the two of them, once friends, now enemies, it seems almost the same: his volatile fire, Saix's unpredictable beast. But the moon's power is borrowed, the moon's rage is borrowed. The fire in Axel is a part of him, a substance making up for blood and bone, his own element: the thing that consumed him, when he decided it was worth dying to save Sora, and Roxas. Not as empty as all that, maybe.

*

"I'm disappointed in you." Saix has come down again, but not before driving the claymore through him; Axel's turning insubstantial, turning back to darkness. At least there's not a lot of pain. Once was too many times to be here. "Why are you dying? What is there for you to die for?"

Axel wonders how often he's asked himself the same question. "Does it piss you off? That I died just to bring Sora to your doorstep, that time before?"

Saix lets go of his weapon. It disappears, back into nothing and moonlight. "You are the least of us Nobodies, Axel."

He feels...not cold. Not even angry. It's something like pity, instead, when he looks back at Saix, and can almost recall Isa's face. The way there was something substantial behind his eyes, back then. Call it the heart. Call it friendship. It's been too long since he's seen it to really remember.

You were the one who changed.

"You're the most of us Nobodies, Saix," he says aloud. "You're the most like nothing."

*

Beside the fountain, he's solid again, and he can't see the moon. It's dark and flat in the sky above, like clouds have come in, and there's only the streetlights left to shine on the water.

Could this be called regret? It's small, a little marble out of place, infinitesimal. But he can feel it, maybe because he's so empty inside; no matter how tiny, it carries weight.

For a moment he rationalizes. He had thought about Roxas and Xion, and Sora, who always made him feel--

Like I had a heart.

He laughs at himself.

Character relationships

2010-11-04T11:47:45Z

C A N O N M A T E S

		Roxas Unquestionably one of Axel's best friends. Back in their Organization days, Axel made the mistake of hiding from him the truth about what he and Xion were, a mistake that almost cost him their friendship, but they've since reconciled and are closer than ever. Their relationship is irreverent but solid, each relying on the other to have his back, and there is little Axel would stop at doing to protect Roxas. Axel made a promise not to lie to him anymore, but a lifetime of secrecy is hard to break.
		Xion The other of Axel's two best friends, despite the fact that until recently, he didn't remember that she had ever existed. Since she's come back into the world, however, Axel remembers everything about their relationship since the beginning and regards her as one of the most important people in his life. As with Roxas, he would do anything he had to to keep her safe. He's in fact a good deal more protective of her than of Roxas, mostly because of an inerasable guilt complex over his part in allowing Xion to be used and experimented on by the Organization.
		Riku Axel isn't quite sure what to make of him, this almost-friend who he views with a mixture of wariness and liking. He's the foremost of a small group of enemies-turned-allies and the one Axel feels the most connected to, as they share similar viewpoints and habits, such as a tendency to conceal their thoughts. Compared to people like Sora, Joe and even Roxas, Riku is refreshingly subtle. Axel occasionally turns to him for information about the dangers of Siren's Port, and finds himself reluctantly concerned about what the Darkness is doing to him.
		Riku Replica (Joe Fieldman) They are definitely not friends. Joe makes it clear that he holds a grudge for Axel's manipulating him into killing Zexion, and Axel takes an unholy glee in antagonizing him, so it's entirely possible they may never get along. Although he'd rather die than admit it, Axel is envious of the friendship Joe has with Roxas, and possessive enough to have invited himself into their apartment to keep an eye on the situation. He thinks that Joe wants to turn Roxas against him, and would react very badly if his suspicions were ever confirmed.
		Naminé Axel's known her for a long time, and he wasn't always particularly nice to her. Back in his Organization days he showed no compunction about manipulating her for his own ends, but nowadays he regards her rather affectionately and feels a sense of responsibility towards her. He would protect her if she needed it.

A L L I E S

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E N E M I E S

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M I S S I N G

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Axel's Diary

2010-08-01T15:11:23Z

Updated September 17th

Day 53: Rent
Winner and I are finally home. I don't think my landlady is too happy to see me. I don't have rent money to give her now since I spent the last of what I had at the carnival. It was worth it though, for Xion's birthday. Hey, they only come once a year, right?

Day 57: Nightmares
I didn't think Nobodies had creepy dreams. I've never had them before. Lucky for me, Winner's nice enough to bite me if I start tossing around too much.

Day 60: New Home
The landlady finally kicked me out--no surprises there. So I've gone to live with Roxas, Xion, Naminé and the replica. Oh, I'm sorry, Joe. He doesn't seem too happy, but that's all right.

Day 64: Jobs
I've gone from having no job to having two. I started at the carnival where Sora works a few days ago, and yesterday I ended up with a job as a bouncer at a club called Afterglow. AGI runs it. Not such a savory place, but it doesn't matter. No one knows I'm working there anyway.

I see new opportunities in my future.

Day 80: Riku and the Nobodies
Riku disappeared, but he was back before hardly anyone knew it. Seems like our Nobody friends had him. I'd like to see the three of them out of here for good, no matter how it happens. If they ever take Roxas or Xion, I'll kill them.

Day 82: At the Meeting
Something happened to Xion's hands. They changed. I think I'm the only one who saw it.

Day 86: I Told Xion
Xion knows now that her hands transformed during Riku's meeting, because I told her. It scared her. I think she would have run away if I wasn't there. She knows I'll find her if she does, though.

She doesn't have to go off somewhere and be alone. I know what might happen, but I'll stop it. I won't kill her or let anyone else kill her.

I'm glad Roxas doesn't know, but I wonder how long I can keep this a secret from him. I promised I wouldn't do that anymore.

Day 96: Winner's Adventure
Winner went missing a few days ago. She slipped out of my hood while I was fighting a Darkness creature and ran off somewhere, and I couldn't find her no matter where I looked. But Riku found her today and brought her over. Apparently he can smell her, and apparently she smells like me. I'm not surprised, considering how many times she's drawn my blood. Anyway, it's good to have her back.

Day 100: Roxas vs Xion
Roxas told me what she was like when the two of them fought. So that's what they did to her. I should never have brought her back.

HMD | OOC Contact

2010-06-04T01:39:12Z

If you have any comments/questions/crit about how I play Axel, or you'd like to plot something with me/him, drop me a line on AIM at otterottergirl or leave a comment here! Screened for privacy.

Character info

2010-06-04T01:35:57Z

General
Canon Source: Kingdom Hearts series
Canon Format: Video games
Character's Name: Axel
Character's Age: Unknown, appears to be in early twenties
Conditional: If your character is 13 years of age or under, please clarify how they will be played. N/A

What form will your character's NV take? A smartphone style device which can record text, voice or video entries and will also take messages. The front is all one touch screen and the back has a black decal of flames; the rest of it is red.

Abilities
Character's Canon Abilities: Axel manipulates fire to a pretty expansive degree; he can create anything from small flames to infernos and uses fire in attacks, channeling it through his weapons, a pair of spiked chakrams. (Note: he doesn't NEED the chakrams to wield fire, he just uses them to help direct his attacks or on their own as sharp weapons.) Overloading his own power, however, can destroy him, as evidenced while fighting side by side with Sora near the end of KH2; he destroys a huge number of dusks in one inferno, killing himself in the process.

Conditional: If your character has no superhuman canon abilities, what dormant ability will you give them? N/A

Weapons: Chakrams as pictured here. He can summon them to his hands at will.

History/Personality/Plans/etc.
Character History: Prior to meeting Roxas, it can be assumed that Axel was part of Organization XIII for some time, and he had a previous relationship with Saix, who was apparently a friend of his until Saix began to change, which became obvious to Axel in KH: 358/2 Days. As of this point however, the details of Axel's past and his Somebody, Lea, are pretty vague, though no doubt they'll be expanded upon in Birth By Sleep. In the available canon, however, Axel's story really starts with meeting Roxas.

Roxas was assigned to Axel in his first few days of existence for instruction on being part of the Organization. At first somewhat irritated by having to babysit a brand-new Nobody, Axel soon decided to make Roxas his friend by sharing ice cream with him at the end of every day on top of the clock tower in Twilight Town. The first time they did so, Roxas received a popsicle stick with the word WINNER on it, apparently a rare find. Ice cream became an unbreakable tradition for them, even on the days when they didn't share missions. Axel was willing to guide Roxas and answer most of his questions about being part of the Organization and what they were doing, but he didn't reveal what he knew about who Roxas was, that is, the Nobody of the Keyblade master, Sora.

Shortly after a new Nobody was introduced to the Organization, another Keyblade wielder named Xion, Axel was sent to Castle Oblivion under Xemnas's orders to observe Marluxia and Larxene, suspected traitors. They were supposed to be there to encounter Sora and get him under the Organization's control--through the use of Naminé, Kairi's Nobody--but they in fact intended to use him to take over the Organization. Axel acted as a double agent in the castle, winning Marluxia's trust by murdering Vexen when ordered to, then setting free Naminé to find Sora and reveal what Marluxia was trying to do to him. When confronted by Marluxia after his betrayal was discovered, Axel attempted to destroy Marluxia, despite him using Naminé as a shield; he was stopped by Sora. After fighting Sora, Axel disappeared to let him progress with defeating Marluxia and saving Naminé. Axel, meanwhile, took the Riku Replica that had been created to confuse and manipulate Sora to Zexion, who had been working with Lexaeus and Vexen to use Riku against Marluxia, and let him destroy him. His purpose in doing so seemed to be to prevent Zexion from using Riku or Sora.

Axel returned to the World That Never Was to find that Xion had been accepted as part of the end-of-the-day ice cream tradition in his absence. At first wary of her, Axel soon accepted her as a friend and discovered that she looked just like Naminé to him. As days passed Axel found his friendship with Roxas and Xion deepening while he drifted apart from Saix, who he claimed was not the person he used to be; one probable cause of Axel's split from Saix was his insistence on treating Xion as a thing, a puppet. It was around this time that Axel discovered that Xion was a replica of Sora based on his leaked memories, particularly those of Kairi, information that he hid from both her and Roxas, not wanting to face the potential consequences of them knowing; however Xion soon did find out who she was and ran off from the Organization. Under orders Axel brought her back, fighting her to submission right in front of Roxas. Though it was now obvious that something was very wrong, Axel still refused to share what he knew with Roxas, pretending ignorance. Xion eventually ran off again and Roxas discovered that not only was she a replica, but that Axel had known and hid it from him. He broke off their friendship, claiming he couldn't trust him anymore.

Roxas left the Organization for Xion's sake; Axel tried to reason with him to make him stay, but Roxas would have none of it. When Axel was again ordered to find and bring back Xion, he lashed out at her in hurt and anger, telling her that she and Roxas couldn't just do whatever they wanted and that no matter how many times she ran away he would always bring her back. He managed to do so again, though the fight took a toll on him and he collapsed upon returning with her to the World That Never Was. Unbeknownst to him, Xion was sent out to confront Roxas. When he woke, Axel found that Roxas had left the WINNER popsicle stick in his room for him.

Then Xion simply disappeared from Axel's memory. He doesn't know who she is or what happened to her. He doesn't even know that there ever was a Xion.

Later, Axel found out that Roxas had been captured by Riku and imprisoned by DiZ in a virtual Twilight Town to help Sora recover the memories he had lost within Castle Oblivion. DiZ and Riku intended to have Roxas fully integrate again with his Somebody, with Naminé's help. Axel was ordered to retrieve Roxas for the Organization or kill him. By the time Roxas remembered who Axel was, he was furious and determined to bring Roxas back by force, but Roxas defeated him with a pair of Keyblades and was thereafter reintegrated with Sora. With Naminé and the virtual Twilight Town no longer needed, Riku entrusted her to Axel's care instead of "disposing" of her as DiZ had told him to.

That was Axel's point of breaking with the Organization. He no longer cared what they were doing or what they wanted; he only wanted to get Roxas back from Sora somehow. To that end, he kidnapped Kairi, meaning to use her to bring Sora to him, but she was soon stolen away from him by Saix and taken to the World That Never Was for the same purpose. Axel appeared before Sora during the invasion of Radiant Garden and revealed to him that he had kidnapped Kairi and that the Organization were collecting hearts under the orders of their boss Xemnas, but Saix interrupted before they could speak further and Axel escaped.

Later on, when Sora and his friends were on the way to the World That Never Was to defeat Xemnas, they were beset by Dusks, but Axel appeared to help Sora fight them off. He revealed that Saix had taken Kairi and she was in the Organization's castle. As he and Sora fought the Dusks side by side, it became clear that their numbers would overwhelm them, so Axel made a suicide attack to destroy them all and then, with the last of his strength, opened a Dark Corridor that Sora could pass through into the World That Never Was. As he was fading away, he admitted to Sora that he had wanted to see Roxas again because he made Axel feel like he had a heart, and that Sora did the same thing. With apparent sincerity, he asked Sora to pass on his apologies to Kairi for kidnapping her.

Point in Canon: Axel is taken from his death near the end of KH2. Or at least, he'll remember making his final attack and fading away into darkness before finding himself apparently well and whole in Siren's Port.

Conditional: Brief summary of previous RP history: N/A

Character Personality: Axel presents a carefree, affable face to the world, cultivating the personality of a friendly and casual person who just doesn't care to think about problems very much. He can and will become very close to other people without giving any glimpses of his inner self, such as with Roxas and Xion, until his relationship with them starts to fracture and fall apart. He hides too much, and avoids facing problems head-on when they come up, because Axel's modus operandi is to lie, manipulate and control for the purpose of ensuring his own survival, and he'll only stop when it's not possible to do so any more. As a member of the Organization, he has been surrounded throughout his life as a Nobody by treacherous, unfeeling people who form their own factions and agendas--for example, Marluxia and Larxene planning to take over the Organization, or Xemnas and Saix using Xion. Axel may seem to be part of one faction or another, or on the side of one person or another, but in truth his only loyalty is to himself, because his biggest priority is to preserve his own life.

To an extent, though, Roxas and Xion become priorities to Axel throughout Days, but he's not able to maintain them as friends because he doesn't know how to be open and honest with them. When Axel gets close to someone, his modus operandi falls apart. His relationship with Roxas begins casually enough, but as they grow closer Axel is forced to see that he cares about him and wants to look after his well being. The problem is that Axel thinks that his usual way of doing things will work out, but it just screws his relationship with Roxas in the end. Axel finds out about Xion's true self fairly early on, yet he refuses to tell Roxas what's going on, seeming to genuinely believe that he's better off not knowing. But of course when Roxas eventually finds out that Axel has been hiding what he knows from him he just ends up losing his trust in Axel and practically renouncing their friendship.

Axel is good at manipulating his enemies and people he doesn't care about. He does an excellent job of it with Vexen, Marluxia and the others in Castle Oblivion, earning their trust, making himself appear to be playing on their side, and destroying them (or setting up their destruction) without a twinge of guilt when the time comes. He just really SUCKS at doing it with his friends.

As a Nobody, he doesn't have feelings...except when he does. KH is weird about that. What seems to happen is that Axel encounters people and experiences that remind him of what it's like to have feelings, and thus he can feel guilt over lying to Roxas about Xion, or feel loneliness when the people he cares about have disappeared from his life (as Namine points out to him in the KH2 novel). However, he usually recognizes the feelings too late to let them guide his behavior (i.e. remind him not to be a manipulative douchebag). In KH2, his desire to renew his friendship with Roxas drives him to go after him and Sora, and even kidnap Kairi in the hopes of somehow getting Roxas back. It's not just for Roxas's sake, though--as he says to Sora when he dies at the end of KH2, Roxas and Sora both remind him of having a heart, and that's why he did what he did. Again, Axel is pretty selfish and self-centered...except when he's not. Dying for Sora is in fact probably the most potent example of his capability for altruism.

Of course, he'll never admit it. Axel really hates to appear vulnerable in any way. He will avoid at any cost giving anyone an advantage over him. Again, it's about self-preservation.

In day to day life, though, Axel really does have simple tastes. He avoids conflict and big shows of dedication or emotion, preferring instead to enjoy ice cream on a clock tower with his friends. He's the one who comes up with this routine, and gets Roxas to go along with it, and casually accepts Xion's presence in their ritual as well. He encourages Roxas to relax on their day off and talks about going on a beach trip and such things--basically, he likes the illusion of normality, and experiencing little mundane pleasures. In Siren's Pull, he will probably find new routines to end the day with, perhaps in the company of acquaintances. In this way he can pretend to himself that he isn't lonely.

Conditional: Personality development in previous game: N/A

Character Plans: Jaina (the Roxas-mun) and I have planned some fun/silly things for getting Axel and Roxas interacting and hashing out their problems, such as a fight between the characters after Axel arrives, and later Roxas giving him a cat. Because cats make everything better. Also, I'm sure there will be plenty of conflict with some of the other Organization members in Siren's Pull, particularly Vexen and Zexion. But outside of the cast, Axel will likely enough just settle right in, get a job, make some friends, and appear to be a totally innocent guy who isn't out to ruffle a single feather. I mean, he just gets along so well with everyone.

Appearance/PB: Axel is tall and somewhat spindly, a thin and young-looking man with a very narrow (girly) waist. He is most often seen wearing a full-body black leather coat over black leather pants; the coat has a reverse zipper up the front, some silver buckles, and a cowl/hood which can hide his face completely when pulled forward. He also wears black gloves and black boots. His hair is bright red and sticks straight out behind his head in gravity-defying spikes. He has catlike eyes that are very, very green, and two purple heart-shaped tattoos directly under each eye.