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| 08:39pm 20/02/2004 |
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mood:  uncomfortable
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Ok, well its been a while and ive now sorted out where i am going... to the place with no friends but loads of good subjects and plus my b/f officially dumped me today, but my heart is not broken so i guess i didnt love him, i just miss someone not being there for me.... oh well, life cant get any worse *falls off chair* or maybe they can... there is a little wooden man stood on my desk... how sweet... hes for my art stuff so maybe i will upload a pic or two, dunno... my mids fucked up so chau xXx |
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| 07:46pm 26/01/2004 |
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mood:  apathetic
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Well... been a couple of days now and im bored so hey, im here. The college thing is all sorted as im going for my parents decision, sucks huh?! anyways...
Lying there on the ground
Trying not to make a sound.
As I exit I want my peace
Lying here as I give up my lease.
One more breath and it’s the end
All my love I do now send.
Tears roll down my white dead cheeks
Nothing else have I done in weeks.
My soul is lifeless like a wilted rose
Been pecked at by sadistic crows.
My mind is numb from all the pain
My life has been full of dismal rain.
The end is neigh and I see them show
The sorrow inside begins to grow.
I raise my arms as blood trickles down
Deaths angels come up from the ground.
Pulling me under as my eyes cease seeing
My body shuts down as I finish being.
Im not some person whos depressed but poems about depression and death are easier, for me at least, to write about. |
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| 12:22pm 24/01/2004 |
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mood:  aggravated
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Kid in the corner, why are you there?
Why do you clutch to that dear teddy-bear?
Did he do it again, did he hit you hard?
Did he leave you his normal calling card?
People walk by, not seeing the truth.
Kids live in fear in their innocent youth.
For better or worse, people don’t get drawn in.
Since when did abusing a child not become a sin?
Would you walk by on this guiltless child?
Grown up way to fast he’s already living in the wild.
He’s afraid to go out and to stay in.
He’s forced to eat food that belongs in a garbage bin. .
Would you let him die without having any fun?
He’s already terrified of something he hasn’t done.
He thinks he’s in the wrong and deserves what he gets.
Already today his father’s fist he has met.
His time is run out.
He’s no longer in the corner.
What we didn’t do has made us a mourner.
Happy now are you that you left it too late?
Sorry now are you that you did wait?
What do you see now before your eyes?
At least you now know you can tell cold lies.
Having read this poem and something in the newspaper i am deeply worried about our society. How the hell did some kid manage to die at the hands of their own parents? What drives these sadistic people to torture and abuse their own kids, and on second thoughts, any child.
This girl, i forget her age, was abused by her setp-dad. Not sexually but thats beside the point. Her threw her constantly againts taps and radiators and thumped her. He punched her in the head 3 times, really hard, because she asked if she could have a biscuit. Abused for asking for a biscuit?
How in hells name was she not spotted by social services? Why dont they check the kids over if there is report of abuse?
This news has ruined my good day and has made me feel phsically ill. |
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| ummm..... |
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| 12:10pm 24/01/2004 |
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mood:  ecstatic
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well im still none the wiser about what to do and such. I am thinking of going to the place where i know no one but have all the courses i want. I dont want to not be friends with the people i am leaving though, so i hope we stay friends.
I have decided that life doesnt suck, life is what you make of it, something like that anyways.
I should be easy to get into either so thats cool, nothing to worry about there.
Ok, now thats over and done with, i feel in a good mood today which is always a good thing. Life has got loads better since it wasnt better, obviously.
anyways, i am hungry so i gtg |
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| 07:18pm 23/01/2004 |
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mood:  thoughtful
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well, wowwy, first entry which is kinda akward. I always feel weird when i do things i haven't done before. Anyways, its hard to explain really.
I try so hard, and im not just saying this because i am me, to please people and it just gets thrown back at me. My parents are trying to keep this image of a little girl with blond pigtails close to them forever. They dont understand that i want to actually see the world.
Well, im studying for my GCSE's which is ok. I got good grades in my mocks but then afterwards im a bit stuck. The college i wanted to go to is, well, not doing the subjects i want to tack but ALL my friends are going there. The other college offers all courses i want to do in the right option blocks but none of my friends want to go there so i dont know what to do now.
i really do talk alot when i am thinking. |
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