fileg's flight

quote

fileg — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 03:20:52 GMT

"'If you take a book with you on a journey,' Mo had said when he put the first one in her box, 'an odd thing happens: The book begins collecting your memories. And forever after you have only to open that book to be back where you first read it. It will all come into your mind with the very first words: the sights you saw in that place, what it smelled like, the ice cream you ate while you were reading it … yes, books are like flypaper--memories cling to the printed page better than anything else.'"

Inkheart, Cornelia Funke

fileg — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 21:26:41 GMT

"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, "is to learn something. That's the only thing that never fails. You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies, you may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love, you may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics, or know your honour trampled in the sewers of baser minds. There is only one thing for it then — to learn.
Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.

― T.H. White
The Once and Future King

lights

fileg — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 21:24:54 GMT

I just got up for a quick bathroom trip, and jim, who is asleep, asked me, "Is there anything I can do to help you with your light display?"

Perhaps my doctors told him something they didn't tell me?

The Martian Chronicles

fileg — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 21:01:20 GMT

There was a smell of Time in the air tonight. He smiled and turned the fancy in his mind. There was a thought. What did time smell like? Like dust and clocks and people. And if you wondered what Time sounded like it sounded like water running in a dark cave and voices crying and dirt dropping down upon hollow box lids, and rain. And, going further, what did Time look like? Time look like snow dropping silently into a black room or it looked like a silent film in an ancient theater, 100 billion faces falling like those New Year balloons, down and down into nothing. That was how Time smelled and looked and sounded. And tonight… tonight you could almost taste time.

The Martian Chronicles
Ray Bradbury

holiday

fileg — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 20:59:38 GMT

Summer was another country, where the birds
Woke us at dawn among the dripping leaves
And lent to all our fêtes their sweet approval.
The touch of air on flesh was lighter, keener,
The senses flourished like a laden tree
Whose every gesture finishes in a flower.
In those unwardened provinces we dined
From wicker baskets by a green canal,
Staining our lips with peach and nectarine,
Slapping at golden wasps. And when we kissed,
Tasting that sunlit juice, the landscape folded
Into our clasp, and not a breath recalled
The long walk back to winter, leagues away.

Holiday
Adrienne Rich

everything is illuminated

fileg — Sun, 15 Jun 2025 20:57:32 GMT

"The water leapt, the trees swayed in expectation, the sky slowly pulled up its blue dress to reveal night."

Everything Is Illuminated
Jonathan Safran Foer

fileg — Sun, 13 Oct 2024 19:01:49 GMT

I think my favorite teacher was Sister Francis Genevive, just because.
She liked books and music, and let me free read when things were chaotic.

But I also have to put in a mention for Sister Robert Anthony- she had us for 2nd grade.

I was a boomer, and obviously in Catholic school. There were 63 kids in my classroom, and 62 in the other second grade class. Halfway through the year, the other teacher (not a nun!) left to have a baby, and for the rest of the year, Sister Robert Anthony had all 125 of us in one classroom, 3 at a desk.

She not only taught our regular subjects, she started us writing cursive with fountain pens, and found time to add in some music and a class poet (Robert Louis Stevenson- I still know all those poems by heart.) Looking back I can't imagine how she did it.

sleep talk

fileg — Sat, 24 Apr 2021 06:44:12 GMT

Just before he woke up, jim leaned over and said,
"Thank you for helping me with the pork atoms."

protons

fileg — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 06:14:11 GMT

Is there a superperson who got their powers from protons?

I am getting a second chance at having an origin.

I am about to start proton treatments. I had my "fitting" appointment this week, and came home looking like a treasure map - my body was covered with "treasure here" X's, little lines of dotted steps, crosshairs and occasional tiny tattoos.

Time for an adventure

fileg — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 06:10:30 GMT

Jim came in to check on me while I was napping.

I don't know what I was dreaming about, but I asked him why he had ordered the double booked full wide english breakfast...

pandemic sumo

fileg — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 06:41:06 GMT

We're watching Sumo on the NHKWorld.

The entire stadium is empty, no audience was allowed. The wrestlers entered wearing masks, and had their temperatures taken and were hand sanitized before they could enter the stadium.

The silence while they grapple is eerie.

new year dream

fileg — Sat, 02 Jan 2021 00:34:43 GMT

It's supposed to be auspicious to dream of Mt Fuji, a hawk and/or an eggplant on New Year.

Jim, however, was dreaming about "the dogs who built suspension bridges during WWII."

pixels

fileg — Sat, 26 Sep 2020 21:59:12 GMT

We were watching Midsommer Murders tonight.

This episode is about a feud between digital and film photographers. The film photographer holds up his print, and shouts "that's a *real* photo - with no damn pixels!"

Well, Jim and I start laughing. Even in your brain, all pictures are pixels.

His dad was a printer, and mine was a photo-engraver.

I said to Jim in the long-suffering voice - "Our dads had to put their pixels in by hand....."

blue moon diner drive-in

fileg — Sat, 05 Sep 2020 05:52:58 GMT

Jim often speaks to me in his sleep. Last night I threw the blankets back to get up and turn over and this uncovered part of him.

I kissed him on the hip and he said "It matches my butt!"

Ok. I asked what matched, and he told me, "The Blue Moon Diner Drive-in."

A moment of silence, and then "I had it when I was a kid."

"You have a blue moon diner drive in that matched your butt?" I asked

To Jim, the important word in that sentence was "Have."

"No, I *HAD* one."

I then repeated the phrase back to him several times, and he just kept telling me. ""Not have - had!" Eventually adding "It was a metal one. From a set of small metal toys."

I decided to try a different route. "Honey, stop thinking about *Had* and just think about that sentence."

another moment of silence. then:

"Can we forget this conversation ever happened?"

Not likely. I've been remarking on his Blue Moon Diner Drive-In all day.

Shall I shoot?

fileg — Sat, 11 Jul 2020 07:09:16 GMT

I've mentioned before that there are things I understand (or think I understand) in Tolkien that I have just incorporated into myself without ever expressing them in words, until something comes up and I find myself blurting out a sentence that surprises the hell out of me, and at the same time seems to have always been with me.

That happened to me this week during a discussion that was phrased: What do you all think would have happened in the storyline if Frodo did not stop Faramir from killing Sméagol and actually allowed it to happen?

The discussion was centered around what happens after this event. Except for me. Without a moments hesitation, I went for:

Faramir would never have killed Smeagol outright. But if Frodo had called his bluff, it would have broken the chain of Mercy that let the ring be destroyed.

it's raining, it's pouring

fileg — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 17:00:04 GMT

Jim just said -what's with all this precipitation?

Since I had just moments before read my email from the NJ Patch, I was able to reply - Tropical storm fayfay! We are in the *red is for drowning* zone.

Tropical Storms seem to have moved all over the calendar since I was a kid. Did anyone else learn this poem:

June, too soon
July, stand by
August, it must
September, remember
October, all over.

Now we seem to get really slammed in October every year.

where are we going

fileg — Mon, 22 Jun 2020 20:52:20 GMT

Jim often talks to me in his sleep, but only occasionally actually gets up and moves around.

Last night, I had to prevent him from getting out of bed to rub the time travel ointment on me....

I wonder if that was the right decision

knob

fileg — Sun, 21 Jun 2020 22:51:14 GMT

Jim had to go in to work Saturday, a special project that needed him to go in early.

When he was getting ready to go, I woke up and found him doing something to the bedroom door with a screwdriver.

Turns out, the doorknob had been loose for a little while. I hadn't even noticed. But Jim had a dream that he was at work, and I called and told him the doorknob had fallen off and I was stuck in the bedroom. (This would not have been the worst thing that could happen - I would have a bed, a bathroom, a kindle, and a couple of low carb shakes. But still - trapped.)

So, he felt the need to fix the doorknob before he left for work.

Through an unlikely set of circumstances, the project could not be finished, so he called me around noon to say he was on the way home.

It took all my willpower not to remove the doorknob and wait for him in the bedroom. Had I not been so sleepy, it would have been a done deal.

raptor

fileg — Fri, 12 Jun 2020 06:31:17 GMT

During my nap, I had a dream about a valise-a-raptor.
She was having trouble putting the valise in the overhead bin.

pop up

fileg — Tue, 02 Jun 2020 02:08:24 GMT

I was just at youtube, looking at a musician's video, and they decided to cover what I was watching with a pop up asking me to sign Trump's birthday card....

I'm in a parallel universe, right? How do I get back?

another dream

fileg — Sun, 31 May 2020 04:18:53 GMT

I had a dream about Rook R.M. McNamara last night

I was in some sort of food pavilion at a park, and her tortie kitty Euralie was trying to get me to feed her.

I tried to share my plain grilled chicken with her, but she wasn't sold on low carb. She was batting at a tupperware container with Rook's name on it in marker.

Rook came in and found me staring at the contents, which seemed to be some sort of bright pink fudge with pistachios.

(I'm pretty sure that's not good for kittys)

I had a dream

fileg — Wed, 20 May 2020 05:22:49 GMT

I took a nap while Jim was working, and I had a dream about Chris. (I could not see her, but I could hear her voice clearly.)

She asked me to open the window in a small alcove behind her desk. But, she had a great big new bird cage, and it filled the alcove.

I thought the cage was empty, but when I slid against the cage, I heard chirping. Chris said, "Oh! I have a new pair of birds!"

I looked in, and saw a little brown and black bird. "That's the female..." Chris said. "And this is the male"

I looked over, and the "male" was very clearly a chipmonk.

Then I woke up.

med

fileg — Tue, 12 May 2020 19:52:10 GMT

I had to go for blood work this morning.

We had a long list of instructions - stay in your car, etc., wait until we beep your phone, then put on your mask and come in... This is supposed to make sure the waiting room is empty.
.
They called me in, I mask up and go. As i reached for the door knob, the door was pulled out of my hand by an exiting guy who collided with me, and made a cranky noise *at me.* He was masked up, at least. There was still another couple in the waiting room as well.

And when I was leaving, the door slipped out of my hand again, but since I knew what that meant, I was able to avoid colliding with the next person.

On the other hand, they were very efficient about the test, and only had to stick me once (very unusual, I am a really tough stick). I am a little concerned because she only took one vial of blood, though. (They usually take 4). I hope I don't get called back. I had a change to my meds, so maybe they were just checking that.

med update

fileg — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 06:59:14 GMT

I finally had a meeting with my medical team at the end of the week.

The "something" that showed up on my recent ct scan is not "nothing," but it's close to, and definitely not what I was afraid of.

I am "over vasculated," which was part of the ongoing problem I had during the previous surgeries, so they can't do a needle biopsy. But after the MRI, my doctors believe It's a group of fluid and benign cells that is apparently not uncommon after a big surgery.

I have to keep testing, to make sure it doesn't continue growing at the rate it was. (if it does, I don't know where we go from there, so ...) And a new pill added to my meds, which should be a general preventative. So, not nearly as bad as I was trying to be prepared for.

Since they knew the news was good, I wish they had updated my online records, and spared me two extra weeks of anxiety. But, hey.

I am starting to settle back to being a normal person now. Thanks all of you who held a good thought for me during the wait.

book to movie 2

fileg — Mon, 02 Sep 2019 06:37:32 GMT

Finished reading The Lost World last night. Here's my line that should have been in the movie (Although Jurassic Park II is nothing at all like the book)

when they arrive on the island and are setting up camp, George says:
"No shortage of mosquitoes."

made me laugh out loud