This is... just some guy's story

Philadelphia!

2009-03-23T06:10:14Z

So i'm back from my road trip to Philly to chill with Joe. Got to meet his friends and live in his dorms for a weekend.

It was a freaking amazing time, great beautiful city. So many hilarious shenanigans and the usual craziness.

Here is a list of things we did as far as i can remember, and i'm probably missing things:

Thursday:
Walked Drexel and Penn Campus
Got introduced to Wawa, the supermarket/sandwich shop of amazingness (got a Pita)
Saw Watchmen at the super nice theaters at Penn

Friday:
Didn't wake up or leave until hours after we had planned
Discovered the awesomeness that is food trucks with a egg/turkey/cheese on a hoagie
Franklin Science Museum (walked thru a giant heart and went to the amazing planetarium IMAX)
Wandered through key parts of Philly taking ridiculous pictures including love park, the sorry pieces, city hall, and south st
Me and joe went into a shop of the occult and got cursed (All weekend I wanted to drink a Monster, and Joe couldn't get an erection, it was a joke)
Walked through the magic gardens (beautiful recycled mosaic wonderland)
Got real philly cheesesteaks at Geno's
Free italian ice at Ritas
Got amazed when we went into a store from the street and suddenly we were in a huge mall
Went and got salsa lessons
Random Pizza
Joe's friend Jakes place for a small party
Fell asleep in their apartment watching Big Trouble in Little China after this amazingly awesome movie called Demon Knight (lazer eyeballs, thats all i've got to say)

Saturday:
Slept in later than we meant to again and then went to the Philly zoo
It was the 150th anniversary of the Zoo, saw the World Series Trophy
Random cake competition, we ate the cake
Waited in line forever for zoo starbucks... because they had breakfast
Saw MOST of the animals before it closed
I was absolutely positive that the wire around one animal's exhibit was not an electric fence, so sure that when Joe said "so touch it" i thought nothing of it and ended up getting an extremely dangerous high current/voltage shock which i felt in my chest and also wiped out my memory for 10 seconds (i had no idea what happened at first and I was just confused)
Went back to Joe's to pack up his shit so he could move out
Looked up a nice place to eat and ended up getting coconut curry chicken at a Malaysian restaurant called Penang (it was super nice and really good)
After that Joe tricked me by saying that him and his friend have an ongoing competition to see who can run across the grass in front of Independence Hall to the other side the quickest. Feeling fast and competitive I decided to empty my pockets and make the run, only to meet them on the other side later and have them disappointed that a security guard didn't tackle me for running on the grass, which is apparently what sometimes happens to people who have that prank pulled on them.
Saw the liberty bell through the window because it was nighttime by that point
Constitution center, US mint, franklin bridge, penns landing
Then we went to take the subway and stood near this crazy guy near the tracks who was screaming to nobody in particular "Say it in English, I don't want to hear it in Spanish, I want to hear it in English!! NOT SPANISH!!!" he said that about 100 times and then he started talking about the twilight zone and i considered speaking spanish or telling him that the twilight zone airs with spanish subtitles now
711 Slurpees
Another Party at Jakes, Moved Joe in there for the week
Group drunken air guitar and drumming with full chorus singalongs to popular rock hits
There til the wee hours of the morning then passed out

Sunday:
Joe's phone turned off and he missed the alarm so we slept in AGAIN and he was almost late to check out of his dorm
Went to the huge art museum without our friend mike because he took too long to get up
Took pictures with Rocky and we were too lazy from eating Philly food all weekend to run the steps like Rocky
Only payed 9 cents to see the whole art museum because it was pay what you wish day
Played on the statues across the street (joe rode the moose, and I spooned a naked statue lady with a giant snake)
Saw I Love You man at the Penn Theater, it was hilarious ... Jobin
Then I grabbed my shit and said my goodbyes and drove the three hours back to shitty binghamton to a quiet lonely house to write a paper and start the mundane stressful binghamton engineering life again (i'm jealous of everyone who gets to life like we did this weekend in college EVERYDAY, half the guys we hung out with were engineers and yet they were cool and had tons of fun)

this is actually mostly just a record for me, Joe had to recap the entire weekend for me day by day I just reworded and expounded on it because I seriously have such horrible memory that I can't remember the details of what we did, and it JUST happened so i figure I should get it down so I can remember this for times to come

Pictures that I took with my cell phone are up on facebook (my cell phone apparently actually takes really good pictures) but most of the really funny pictures with us guys in them are on somebody elses camera and I plan on tagging the crap out of them when they get uploaded :P

SO FUN... why the fuck do I have to live here? and go to this shitdump college, I really loved being myself for a weekend and being surrounded by people who'll sing and laugh along rather than just give me dirty looks and tell me i'm "acting strange" or make fun of how "white" i am whenever I exhibit any happiness. Vacation is good :-)

Guitar Weirdness

2009-03-16T06:39:45Z

Bored and lonely, its 2:30 am.

I SHOULD be sleeping, instead I'm just messing around with the pedal I built and the loops in my guitar processing program, here's the product of my mood tonight, just me improvising some weird shit, because I feel weird and lost in space

http://download215.mediafire.com/gd2bm0bm2vmg/ynwymzhdzty/CreepOutEdited.wav

Moon

2008-12-13T00:40:22Z

Last day of classes
Hours of projects, lectures and brain strain
All now blend together into utter exhaustion
As I walk through the frigid cold to the parking lot
Something makes me tilt my head up away from the icy ground
The moon is beautiful
I stop in my tracks
For a second just watch and nothing else, then
Look left
Look right
Look back and once more forward
Nobody walks tonight but me
Looking back to the moon and just like that...
It's become common
Here and now is nothing but yet another moment
With nobody to share it with, and...
It's become common

so here it is

2008-08-25T20:07:59Z

oh my, i'm in bing, my summer is over... it was amazing.

So many great memories made with my friends, we revisited our childhood and it feels good to act like a kid again, sometimes you need to just cut loose and laugh.

the final week was a great way to end my summer, i'm so glad i decided to stay in the area all the way until yesterday (sunday). Even though i didn't have any time to settle in and classes started today without even giving me a chance to adjust. I really don't feel like i'm in learning mode... i'm still stuck in summer mode and "lets just have fun, party, smoke hookah, and laugh" mode... i really didn't want to leave syracuse. The good news is i suppose living in our new place is pretty cool, only time will tell how much i'll really like it... but i'm trying to keep a positive attitude about binghamton and not just start off by saying that it will suck. My room is ridiculously small, and i have SO much stuff, it was difficult but i managed to somehow fit everything in here and be very conservative with my space... its really cramped but its the best i can do.

I didn't eat a single thing at all for the entire day yesterday, and for the very first time in my life i actually noticed a significant body change. Usually my metabolism is so fast that i've never seen my weight fluxuate in any way... i could eat a little, or eat a ton, and i'll just look exactly the same all the time. Well everyone in bing is telling me that apparently i'm taller (which i don't get how that can be) and that i look like i lost weight... and gained muscle (which is scary cuz i didn't mean to lose weight... i was skinny enough as it was). But this is entirely different, after not eating at all yesterday i was actually shocked to see that i had become noticeable thinner... my abdomen was so flat and tight that it shocked me (and i honestly didn't even know i could possibly have a smaller stomach or more abs than i already did, so i was surprised). I think i made up for it today since all i ate was chocolate donuts for breakfast, and a chicken sandwich and fries for lunch, haha.

and now i'm going to jump ships and kinda just convert my daydreams into text, not that anyone wants to read it:

so 10 months ago Greg became single, he's been that way ever since. Greg realizes he had very few friends in binghamton since he spent his whole first year with a girl and never bothered to try and make friends. Before then, he hadn't been single for more than a couple of weeks in like 2 years. So naturally he suffered from withdrawl without any companionship and slowly start to go insane. Then as a result of really having nowhere to go Greg developed what he thought was a justified crush on a friend of his, but it was really just him being stupid and hating being single. He proceeded to become more crazy, got drunk alot, said so many stupid things, and just completely ruined how everyone viewed him after that... Greg became known as pathetic. So he just waited for summer to come. Then one day as he was just coasting along thru finals week waiting to get out of there, after losing all hope, he meets this girl, had it not been the worst timing ever, he may have had an interest in pursuing something, but the semester was over and he was going home the next day, so he did nothing. and summer started finally, and he re-united with his real friends from home. Almost instantly he was back to himself and having a good time, and better yet, over his stupid shit from binghamton, and dealing much better with his hate of being alone. Then Greg meets a girl in syracuse, is almost immediately attracted to her character and eventually the end of summer comes and the night before leaving for bing, there is some spark, but it doesn't get a chance to ignite any further, just remains a spark once the night ends, he sleeps returns to binghamton, and daydreams constantly, not prepared to get down to business and do all this learning stuff... just kinda sick of having his best moments at the most inconvenient times. ja;lwjrk;alsvmgwerpqewrito/;dlmv.zx,vdf

oh hello livejournal

2008-06-29T19:19:33Z

I read livejournal's everyday but somehow always forget that I TOO have one. Have i even updated this summer?

so far things haven't felt much like summer, just cuz i haven't been outside much in fact I've gotten NO sun.

I've been working out like crazy, every single weekday i work out, monday, wednesday, friday is arms/chest/abs and tuesday and thursday its legs/abs. So as i work so hard to improve my body... i'm still COMPLETELY white, its disgusting, i would gladly not be white if i could haha..

Although i haven't been outside much (during the day at least) I still have been doing alot of stuff, plans all weekend every weekend, lots of cool people to hang out with. I really like syracuse, i can get along with people so well, not one person seems to think I'm an asshole or annoying or any of that bullshit i was getting in binghamton. Its pretty great to have real friends and real conversations and real genuine laughter and fun, i'm pretty happy about that.

I'm also meeting tons of people that either have been going to binghamton and i didn't even know it, or are transferring there next semester and I'm surprised because i didn't think anyone from my area, especially from CNS went to bing. So maybe I can find some of them while i'm there and get a more homely vibe from bing.

in other news work is good, thats about all i can say about that without violating government protocols :P

I'm selling the most beautiful thing i've ever called mine http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=300237054543

thats right the beast must go... sadly, its a beautiful piece of art but its not what i want out of a guitar... and in the end its playability and in my case portability that matters.. and frankly the beast is... well huge and hard to carry around and fit in my car everytime i travel between homes.

aww both my ferrets are all curled up just looking at me :P

I started playing DDR again... apparently i'm still good at it, even though i haven't played in more than half a year.

oh and i rode a bike last nite, haven't done that it two years, also great

and I wandered around bridgeport with a friend, and I've been seeing so many people from high school and talking to them, some of them i never was even friends with in high school and seems like we can all just talk to each other now with that one thing in common. So basically i'm living in a retro experience and its pretty awesome, i miss the old days... so if i can still feel like i'm there every once in awhile i can be grateful for that.

ok, time to go skate (yeah... thats right.. i'm 16 again, WOOO!!!!)

:)

the professional life

2008-06-05T21:58:10Z

is really not that professional, i can come and go to work as i please, do what i feel like doing at my desk when i feel so inclined... really nobody watching over my shoulder to baby me or hold my hand. In fact currently I'm writting a piece of software which will become an integral component in a much larger piece of software for a very important system that will affect whether or not people's lives will be saved. And i'm doing that by myself, at my own pace, with little to no supervision, it feels good to just get a creative energy going and teach yourself new things, and come up with an idea that excites even the most veteran programmers you work with into having confidence in you, even though you are only an intern (thats why the handed the whole part of the project to me after i showed them my prototype).

So i've been working Mon-Fri, working out every single day after work, trying to sell my guitars and my laptops (all of which are not selling at all), and getting out with friends on the weekends. In other words i actually sort of have a life! Its rather enjoyeable, for the most part relaxing, it feels good... i feel like i have very little on my shoulders. Work is no big deal because i enjoy it, i get to spend my day learning, apply it immediately, at my own pace, and i don't have to take a test after... I love to learn, and this is the best way to do it in my opinion. I may not have a ton of friends anymore here in syracuse, but the few i do i really enjoy and they are probably the best friends i have anywhere. the working out is satisfying too, i love the feeling where you work your body to the very edge of being ill and you can't even move without falling over that edge. It just feels great to be in shape and i know its a huge deal these days to have a negative self image and never feel satisfied with what you've got to show, but i can honestly say i've got absolutely no problem with how i look, hey... i'd fuck me. And i hate how since everyone else hates how they look if one person does truly like how they look its considered cocky, i wouldn't accuse anyone who is happy with themselves of having a big ego... i wish more people could be happy with themselves because i've known my fair share of people who weren't happy with themselves even though they had alot going for them, and i could imagine many people could easily be happy with THEM.

in other not-so-news, apparently i still throw off that opinionated jerk vibe. A person i hardly know on a personal level at all was quick to point out the very same thing that many people in binghamton who DID know me on a personal level were all hating me for. they said ALL the same exact things.... practically in the same order, it was if they'd just read it off a post-it which is stuck to my forehead:
Opinionated
Stubborn
Loud
Obnoxious
Annoying
Offensive

figures, i've developed such an unbearable character that i can't even meet new people without them being able to classify me in 10 minutes.
it's not something i worry about so much here, because i do have my few friends who reassure me I am not those things and that I haven't changed all that much in their opinions, and they still think of me as a friend and so i'm grateful for that, plus I've got alot of other things here to do and keep busy with. Living with a family of four in a house with 2 bedrooms makes it so i really don't ever have a moment alone, and although the company isn't great, it is true that i don't like to be alone, and so that does wonders for my outlook, i don't have all this time to sit at a computer alone and think about all these things (the only reason i'm writing now is that every once in awhile i feel like it might be nice to someone out there to here how i'm doing, i haven't got a sure feeling that it is that way, but the possibility is enough for me to spare a moment every now and then and let my fingers fly.

i actually spend no time at the computer anymore... this is the longest i've been on my computer in 2 weeks, just typing this entry. It's mostly because its muggy and warm and it smells like ferret poo (ferret cage is right behind me... and i mean RIGHT there, if i move back an inch i'll run into it) and worst of all is that my computer desk is literally a piece of wood inside a closet. On my left is another computer desk, if i move my left elbow 8 inches i'll hit it. On my right is a wall, if i move my right elbow 10 inches i'll hit it. My desk is super tiny... and like i said... in a closet, and behind me a ferret cage... 0 inches to move. So if you didn't know this already... i'm mildly claustrophobic... and well you can imagine how sitting at my computer feels after about ten minutes (and trying to play guitar is.... well its actually more of an art finding a way to sit and hold the guitar without it hitting anything than actually playing it is)

getting out of my hole and chugging kool-aid now, my weekend is relatively free with the exception of some day errands, til next time, kawoooosh

the past

2008-03-08T20:19:06Z

i miss the past

i miss...
high school, where i was surrounded by people i could relate to.
the teen center, where i was surrounded by people who loved me.
i was an individual and people loved that i was who i was, and wouldn't ask me to change.

and my friends were individuals, and i loved them each for different reasons, but i was happy.

i used to come home with a smile on my face just because i had a good day laughing and goofing off with my friends.

a good day...

i can't even comprehend a good day now.

i don't even remember the last time i fell asleep thinking about what a great day i had, with a smile on my face, and excitement to do it all over again the next day.

holy hell i don't even really feel anymore, its sick

the people i knew in syracuse were amazing and i took it for granted that people like that existed all around me. I never would have imagined that going to a different town in the same state would take me so far away from the kinds of people i feel at home with.

today i felt a part of my old self shining through, as i found it in me to actually want to listen to someone else, and as i found a smile forming on my face as i heard how well a friend of mine was doing. That old familiar feeling of overwhelming empathy, where my own emotions can actually be altered just by knowing how a good friend is feeling. That is how i used to care for people, but it's changed so much, and so i realize now that more than anything else... i miss who i used to be. it just took a friend to bring it out of me.... and thats what i'm missing here... a friend.

using the actual post page and not the quickpost in my portal

2008-03-02T09:29:06Z

uhh so it's been a while. Last i wrote was before the foo fighters show... i'll start with that.

Twas pretty kickass, got to work along side the foo fighters stage crew the whole time. Set up some HUGE lights and 4 video screens and did a whole shitload more. The show was kickass, i had the best seats in the house (inside the barricade with the sound and light operators with a clear unobstructed view of the stage head on. Walked backstage right by Serj Tankian before his band went on to play. Also walked right by the foo fighters room in the back halls of the event center and saw them all. I'm not much of a famous people person... i don't really idolize people so i wasn't as enthralled to be seeing these guys as others were, but some people thought it was pretty cool that i saw them so i figured i'd mention it.

after that is a blur and i have no concept of what happened when, but there were parties that ended in disappointment, a sudden week of extreme busy-ness, horrible experiences with C code, an 11 hour gig last nite that left me pretty exhausted and nobody was around afterwards (at 1am) to do anything. today i drove some peeps to downtown and we walked around and did random shit and then went to walmart (woohoo...) and then pretty much just sat around and were bums and watched movies and i passed up a party (for the first time this semester) because they've all been ending the same way for me... i sober up before anything good ever gets a chance to happen, i leave disappointed that i didn't meet ANY attractive girls, then i find out all the good things happened right after i left, and i go home and sleep in my empty bed in my empty room (like every night).

so i'm very active lately, been doings lots of lifting at work, plus i've been doing gymnastics everytime since the first meet, i'm learning some new stuff (latest is a back tuck, or a backflip from standing position basically). I bloodied up my face practicing those on the trampoline last time, pretty much got really tired from doing them and got lazy on one of them and didn't flip all the way and landed on my face and got trampoline burn on the top of my nose. Now that its trying to heal up it looks like an upside down horseshoe on my nose, i hope it doesn't scar, other than that i don't give a shit. My plan is to head straight for the trampoline next time and pick up where i left off, gotta get back on the horse when it bucks you.

most of my entries are friends only lately, not that it matters, hardly anyone reads this but its just a safeguard i suppose.

i'd really enjoy someone to fall asleep with and hold on to lately, its really irksome. I simply hate sleeping alone every night, and the roommate's pretty much always gone every night so its just a quiet dark empty room and no matter how much i do it i can never get used to being that alone.

i hate things that are complicated... i wish certain things would just be clear as day and there were no obstructions to the things we wanted. After awhile these things have a way of creeping in under my skin and i feel like i'm just being taunted and teased.

and another thing, its not my fault that i am not attracted to alot of the people in binghamton... i feel like everyone thinks i'm such a close-minded person but i have preferences and standards as everyone does and i don't believe in screwing around with people who i'm never going to really be into.

people make it seem so simple and give me suggestions like oh maybe you should just do this or that... i wish everyone could think the way i do for once or at least be a friend enough to listen just long enough to actually take in what i'm saying and understand it. anytime i ever have to explain something that i believe or a way i think (which i shouldn't have to explain at all but people can't leave me alone and not pick me apart all the time) it's like i'm being drilled, everyone knows exactly how i should think and aren't afraid to tell me so, i'm just simply not allowed to have those thoughts and also have respect, i'm sick of the lack of respect, show me a real friend and i'll bet your pointing 90 miles north of Binghamton.

i have my car, i enjoy driving, sometimes i just think about driving home on the weekend and spending the time with my pets. I miss indy and the ferrets so much. Animals were always my best friends because they are eternally loyal and its unconditional, find me that in a human and i'd be pretty damn surprised. Yeah my faith in humanity is that diminished, everyone keeps telling me i'm cynical and pessimistic, but then again, everyone keeps telling me alot of things and frankly i'm sick of listening when nobodies got anything good to say about me.

CELEBRATION!

2008-02-22T02:15:36Z

WOOT!

I got a call today, and Sensis has extended me a job offer
$15/hour - Full Time, All Summer, Paid Holidays, 401K, the works
In the Defense & Security Systems department at Collamer (the location thats really close to where i live)

Go me... I celebrated with a 5 minute victory dance by myself after i got the call, it was quite liberating.

Tomorrow is the Foo Fighters concert. I'm skipping my two classes and working production for the entire show. Means i'll be helping set up the sound system and whatnot before the show, then helping out backstage for the duration of the actual show most likely. Should be fun!

In other news I joined the gymnastics club, i've gone for 4 hours worth of gym time so far. It's been fun, I'm actually quite motivated about getting in shape now, it feels good to be sore each day. Plus i get to flip around on trampolines and practice with lots of cool people that i've met. Eventually they are going to make me cough up a membership fee, but i'm just going to hide in the shadows as long as i can before they do that.

Things are looking up in just about every area except the fact that i'm still not getting any :P Granted i haven't tried, but there's just nothing on the local market i'm interested in.

Til next time!

wow

2008-01-29T04:17:37Z

so it would seem as if i'm finally getting a good semester here as far as classes/academics go.

so far the first professor i met for Data Structures & Algorithms is a retired Lockheed Martin engineer, AND as a bonus, he uses linux (ubuntu). He asked everybody who used linux to raise their hand (and about four of us including me in a rather large class raised our hands) and then he said, for the rest of you, i highly suggest you dump windows and switch to linux, it's stupid not to. That gave him extra points in my book.

the second professor was for Computer Organization & Microprocessors and he runs linux (also ubuntu) as well! And whats cooler is that he runs it on a tablet PC. Even better is that he is apparently writting a textbook for that classroom, but its a work in progress, therefore we haven't got to buy a book, he is just letting us have copies of it online chapter by chapter as he writes them.

the third and final professor that i met today was in Electrical Circuits and he does not use linux, but he does use a tablet PC which is helpful and nice for presenting his lecture. But what he lacks in operating system he makes up for in everything else. This particular class's lecture meets monday, wednesday, and friday, from 4:40-5:40pm, which sux because thats a horrible time to have your last class on a friday. Well one of the first things he says to us is that he doesn't want to come in that late on friday's any more than we do... and therefore he wouldn't ever be having a friday lecture! So i just opened my schedule and put a huge X thru that class and now on Fridays my last class ends at 11:50am! Sweet! He said he will instead be posting a video lecture online that we may watch whenever we please before the next Monday's lecture, i can definitely deal with that, thats awesome. If that wasn't awesome enough.... there is MORE. He then randomly mentions that one thing we should know about him is that he's a guitar player, and that 50% of his brain is dedicated to thinking about guitars. I was only half paying attention but when i suddenly started hearing the magic word "guitar" being thrown around i payed attention quick! I was like "holy shit this guy rocks!" On his webpage he has links to cool electrical circuit stuff related to guitar impedance pedals and shit like that, AND he said that during the course he was going to link many electrical circuit concepts to electric guitars and pedals and stuff, and i was thinking "are you kiddding... i couldn't ask for a more personalized course, he's going to take something i wouldn't normally have fun learning about and put it in the context of guitars! How sweet is that, if only every course catered to my interests like that, haha.

So i only have one more class that i haven't yet gone to, thats tomorrow, and its also my only class tomorrow since my lab is not meeting this week. That class is Probabilistic Systems I, and it sounds boring but we'll see how the professor is. Overall, the three classes i've gone to so far have decent professors, and i don't even have to buy ANY textbooks so far, plus they just seem like interesting classes. So far i'm pretty psyched about this semester, next thing you know i'll meet a whole group of cool people and some awesome girls, and i'll join a band and win the lotto and all kinds of other lucky stuff (wishful thinking)

til next time *woosh*

My Spring '08 Class Schedule

2008-01-28T18:40:59Z

Christmas, Ferrets, Cars... oh MY!

2007-12-29T19:18:03Z

I have lots of new stuff to say but i just got off work and haven't felt much like updating, i DID however feel this entry was necessary and i've put it off for long enough.

Christmas turned out not to be so bad, usually I don't care much about what happens or what i get, i was originally just glad to get a day off, but we ended up getting something worth being excited about.

We brought home two baby ferrets, brother and sister! They are cute and playful and they have a three story cage which stays in my room.

Pictures! :

This is Cambria (take a wild guess who named her) or Cami for short. She is a little devil, as you can see, sometimes she bites, and that was the perfect picture to explain her personality, she's evil, but i myself have always been a fan of evil, and she will grow out of the biting, plus she doesn't do it that bad.

Cami in the kitchen, to me she seems slightly more rodent-esque than most ferrets, but she's cute

This is Dizzy (also named by me, because he kept falling off the third floor in his cage) or Diz for short. He is harmless, incredibly cute, and super playful. He doesn't bite like Cami, only play bites but they are extremely gentle. He's being curious with Frank in this picture

Diz will calm down after playing for a long time and i watch tv while he passes out in my arms.

so now i have two more animals that i'm going to miss like crazy when i go to college... i wish i could take them with me!

In other news, yesterday I sealed the deal on a car. First i opened a savings account and the credit union my dad belongs to, you can only get in through other people or a few other circumstances. Then i got preapproved for a loan for a car. I apparently have an amazing credit score, which is awesome because i've been working on it. its built up based off my steady payments to my credit card and paying off my student loans, since i'm always on time i have already increased my score to close to the maximum, which i was told is quite an accomplishment for someone my age. I was given the absolute lowest interest rate on my loan too, because the car that i bought is a new enough year, and because my credit was so good. So i'm going to be able to pay off this car in 2 years. Now about the car!
Its a 2000 Black Dodge Avenger, a 2-door coupe, pretty sweet looking, and of course it fits me cuz its black. The inside is also kinda dark and all the lights in the dash and cd player and stuff are orange, which i thought was pretty kickass. Everything works its power everything, heated seats, cd player, ABS, the whole shebang. runs great, i took it for a test drive, then i found a few things about it that needed some work, and heres the deal i ended up cutting after negotiating. I talked him down on the price, and i also got him to personally buy and put on four brand new all-season tires, a new battery, a free inspection, and he's going to take a look at a minor vacuum problem i discovered that causes the front window defroster to not blow enough air. All in all i got a great deal on it and since the guy who was selling it is actually just selling the cars on the side, but his main job is at an auto repair, service, and inspection shop, he's going to do all the work himself and cover the cost of all of it, so thats pretty sweet. I pick it up next friday, can't wait to get the damn station wagon off the road, i'll be selling that to my brother at some point.
This means i'm bringing the new car to college most likely, which is good, because i can't freaking stand sitting around campus all the time and not having anything good to do. Now all i need to do is find some new friends to actually do stuff with, cuz the ones i have now in binghamton are decidedly not worth too much more effort since they mostly find me annoying or offensive and they just aren't able to handle my personality i guess.

So new car, done, new friends, hopefully soon to come upon my return to binghamton, new ferrets, check, new job.... i'll get back to ya, haha.

test

2007-12-22T20:49:47Z

im updating via my ds web browser just to test out the thing i just got from hong kong. bye!

what a life

2007-12-21T18:19:08Z

looks like i'm opening every single day from now to new years (and yes i have to open new years... but im still going to go out and do whatever i want and probably go to work in some altered state). The only day i don't have to work is Christmas and the only reason i have that off is because its the one day the damn restaurant isn't open. So i guess from now on its 8-10 hours a day, 6 days a week, more than 50 hours a week... yeah, what a life.

and i gotta say, i'm getting quite frustrated because i'm having the most uneventful single life ever. put it this way, since the end of my last relationship (more than a month ago), i haven't so much as gotten a phone number or anything, nor have i even come across ANYONE who's caught my interest. In college there should be opportunities around every corner, but not my college... sure there are plenty of fish in the sea, but they are boring, unnattractive, unnappealing fish, and there really ARENT a ton of new interesting people to meet. and thats college, here i simply haven't got a way to meet new people. i just want to find a relaxed girl who's easy to chill and kick back with since i've been working so much, is that so much to ask? but i haven't even gotten out at all, in fact since i've been back i haven't even seen one friend outside of work, i haven't chilled with anyone or gotten out of my house except alone to get christmas shopping done and whatnot.

and yeah i'm aware there is a herd of girls drooling over me right now, but i'm not going down that path, not with people i work with... err.. at least thats what i'm currently pinning as the excuse.

i've always hated being single, this is no exception, with each day i spend more hours of the night feeling frustrated and sleepless over this current shortage of female affection.

eww

2007-12-18T18:47:48Z

you know what sucks? When people start idolizing you in a place where you really don't want any attention drawn to you. I work at McDonalds, i want the least amount of attention focused on that as possible, lol McDonalds is not in any way a part of me, i'm not proud to be there, and its just because i need the money so i can move up to better things.

That being said.... i really wonder... WHY the hell do i have to look hot even in a mcdonald's uniform...

see ever since i've come back, everybody i work with has been drooling/talking nonstop about me. Nobody there has seen me with short hair, well apparently short hair makes me look better because there isn't a person who HASN'T already told me just that.

if thats not annoying enough, apparently i'm even attracting the attention of under-aged chicks, because my manager jean says this to me (I'll blank out the name): "Yeah and now she likes YOU!" and i'm like "what! i haven't even seen this girl since i've been back nor do i ever talk to her, i knew her a long time ago, but what the hell?"... "yeah we talked about it the other day, once she heard from everybody how hot you are now with short hair, she talked about how she liked you and wants you and blah blah blah". And yes, my manager said just that... including the "how hot you are" part right to my face... which was weird and painful. and so i strongly advised her to QUIT talking about me to under-aged girls before she gets me in trouble... haha i don't want anything to do with that.

so now i've been awarded a painfully horrible new title... as i'm being called "The Heartthrob of McDonalds"... ughh... somebody kill me.

in better news, i got an email from my friend who did some checking and found out i'm definitely still in the running for positions with all 4 of the companies i've applied to for a summer internship. Not only that but i got an email from Sensis and they said they got my resume for a coop position that opened up and they will let me know ASAP if i'm chosen for an interview.

and back to the upsetting news (cuz i just realized there is more of that), i have an ear infection... its quite painful, and i can't hear out of that ear very well at all. I went to the doctor for it yesterday and got me some antibiotics, i also did all my christmas shopping and got an oil change yesterday, which completed my list of things to do, except the one thing i forgot, even though i was right there at the mall, i need to buy a hat. My old one doesn't fit me now that i cut my hair, and i need a hat, cuz i look good in hats, and since i haven't done anything at all with my hair and its just kinda doin its own thing, its nice to have something to cover it up with when its unsightly.

you know...

2007-12-09T04:17:45Z

this is ridiculous... i'm not sure i know anyone else that has this same problem.

I'm only now realizing how this problem works, and yet still it baffles me.

I can't be single...

Even when i want nothing more than just that.... and the easiest way to carry on is exactly the way thing are going so smoothly... i can't be single.

Right now it's been like... well i'm not sure, but at least more than a month that i've been single.

At first it was great, and it's really what i wanted.

I wanted to try living differently, i'd been stuck in the same routine for so long. I've become so used to being in relationships, i always expect just one person to always think of me, i always expect one person to be the person i'll turn to when i've got some free time to spend. I'm used to turning to one person and expecting them to be there.

When not in a relationship, that same type of thing just isn't really obtainable. About the closest thing you get is having a best friend. I, in my entire life, have never had a best friend. Because if you think about it... its hard, people always have their friend before they meet you, and you don't just come in and replace someone else in their life as their newest best friend. But me... my friends fade. I don't know what it is, but after awhile, people just forget, and just like that you never talk to someone again... or you just say hi to them in passing, or maybe just catch them online twice a year and say hello. It's not like i've ever gone out and really TRIED to make friends, but the ones that were at least the best friend i would have at that time, would not be able to say the same about me.

I've also realized that my definition of "friend" is very warped. People that i typically consider to be friends... don't always act so friendly. I think i've got a good group of friends, but in time i realize that i'm kinda the guy nobody really is ecstatic about, nobody thinks "hey lets call greg and tell him to come chill" or "i wonder what greg's doing?". Now typically i have a good deal of confidence... i'm not self-loathing, i don't think of myself as a friendless loser, but thats because for the past few years i've been in relationships nonstop, so i haven't really had alot of time for friends, i was always spending my off time with that one person.

I thought it would be really good for me to take a break from relationships and work on building better friendships. I thought it would be a good change in lifestyle to spend alot of my time around groups of people and actually experience what its like to be good friends with people... but i now realize something.

I'm not a very desirable friend. Turns out... people just don't like me very much. Maybe at first they think i seem like an interesting character... but after awhile what was at first interesting quickly becomes annoying. I just live my life as it comes, i try to take care of myself and my future, i think for the most part i have a good heart and i care about people who care about me. But its really hard to try to care about people when everyone seems to think you are just some annoying asshole.

It sucks when you start spending more time with "friends" and after awhile you start feeling like you are following them around... you aren't joining them, your just following them.

i guess this just proves that while my social life has improved over the years... it has mostly been an improvement with dealing with women. Seems that i can easily find just one person who thinks i'm amazing, but put a bunch of people with me and the unanimous decision is that i'm nothing more than a nuisance and a burden.

i'm sick of getting that falling feeling when i hear a comment that strikes me across the face with the reality that i'm not welcome, i'm not important to anybody, and i'm easily forgotten or replaced. It sounds so depressing but its a recent reality i've stumbled upon. I thought i was getting to know people... but i guess i'm just getting under their skin. They had their group all along while i was busy with my relationship, and when that ended and i decided i would hang out with them more, i think it was an unwelcomed change. At first they seemed happy that i was around more, but now i get these annoyed looks, negative comments, and a huge feeling of denial.

I guess there just aren't alot of people that i appeal to. I suppose i have a mildly unusual personality... i really don't see myself as that outlandish of a character, but something about me obviously perturbs people. I don't really know if everything i'm assuming is entirely accurate, and the people who could really tell me if i'm right or wrong, will probably never read this.

all i know is that i'm not that easily upset. Most of my anger issues are pretty well controlled these days, i'm also not easily depressed, in fact i haven't been like that for years, i'm a very positive person. But its hard to be positive when all the people around you hardly remember you exist when your absent. I'm not saying i'm depressed now, i guess i'm just tired, i'm tired of putting an effort forth to include other people in an attempt to be a better friend, and not get the same thing back from a single person. my point here is that i'm not a super sensitive person, i let alot of things coming at me just slide off. I don't take criticism too seriously, i don't get bent out of shape when people do things every once in awhile. But when they do it continuously everyday, yes, i won't lie, it bothers me. For instance, one person i know has been known to get all upset and give the silent treatment to people in our group when he isn't invited to dinner, people just gather up and go and might forget a person occasionally. I'm not quite like that, it happens alot and i understand and i just go get food by myself. But lately.... i've been writing away messages like "Cell me for dinner, don't forget me", and actually walking downstairs about an hour before people might get dinner, and reminding them that i don't have a class and would like to join them, so just come get me when they go. And still, every single day, i take a trip downstairs to see if anyone wants to get food... and i see everybody eating pizza, or they say "oh we already ate". Am i not supposed to care? when nobody remembers me ever... even if i ask them specifically to remember me, even when i casually explain to them that it does bother me a little to be forgotten and that i would really appreciate the heads-up, and people still continue to forget. its just a whole slew of little things like that, that have been building up enough for me to FINALLY act out. I been putting up with it forever without putting up a fit like other people might, and when i reach my breaking point.... STILL nobody notices.

i'm just wondering if its possible to live single and have good friends, or if i really have to start looking for a girl to take the easy way back into whats familiar and comfortable to me.

sorry for the long entry, but as often happens, everyone has their things to do in different places, but i'm not a friend enough to any of them to be invited really, and i'm just here alone, and for the first time in what might be years now... i finally just gave myself a little while to stare at my ceiling and think.. REALLY think, about all this stuff. I don't do that anymore, i just go with the flow and i never spare a second for cumbersome thoughts, it feels good to at least acknowledge that i do have problems, at least its a feeling, and i haven't really experienced a feeling in a long time, as sad as that is. So fuck whoever thinks this sounds so emo, i'm glad i can at least feel, and as selfish as it may be to only care about how i feel, i think my social history goes to prove that most other people aren't worth a pinch of my caring. (this excludes some, and if you honestly feel like you are a good friend to me, and this probably means you don't live in binghamton, then this isn't at all concerning you)

Garage Floor

2007-11-26T23:14:01Z

My garage at home is quite a disaster. It looks like a dungeon, with its cracked concrete floor, complete with oil stains and who knows what else. I think its about time I consider doing something about that floor, it really takes away from the appeal of the house, especially since its the first place you walk through to get into my house! I think my garage flooring needs can be satisfied with a visit to carguygarage online. They've got lots of styles of flooring to make your garage floor look amazing, and that can really make a difference. Check it out and see what I mean!

Disclosure Policy

wow

2007-11-26T07:32:59Z

the lack of selection here in binghamton is killing me, i have no real desire whatsoever to meet any of the people that attend this university.

I count the days til i go home while i'm here, and then when i get home, i count the days til i come back to bing, and in reality it's just the only thing there is to countdown to, there are no other events in my life worth counting as of now.

i need something exciting, i need a thrill, i need something mindless

i have no real desire to be anywhere, not here, not there, and i can't even name a place i'd rather be.

the real things i desire, i'd deny

isn't it weird how i've been so great at being happy, and then i was really great at just being content, and having no real change in emotions, and now i seem to be really good at just accepting a boring reality, and playing out that reality with no feeling other than frustration.

i sound like an angry emo kid

been awhile since i wrote like that huh?

maybe this is that point where after these few years of insensitivity to the world, some actual feelings are trying to peak out and let me know that i'm still alive and not just that zombie greg we've been seeing for awhile now.

i'm not sure which i like better
but i at least enjoyed it when i had enough confidence to get myself through anything, now its there but it fluctuates, sometimes i'm as confident as ever, and then once in awhile, i kinda feel like hiding again, regressing to the social hermit i used to be.

yeah i really am turning emo, but who cares

the dillyo.... yo..

2007-11-19T19:18:06Z

hmm just about to start typing, but now i hafta go to the bathroom...
*gone*
*back*
much better

ok so i'm skipping digital logic, as i also did friday. Well actually this time i really went to class, then found out we weren't getting the tests back so me and my friend just blatantly grabbed up our stuff and walked out of class while he began lecture. That class is just a waste of my time because he talks in a boring way about easy stuff that i could just read about in his lecture notes which are online.

And besides i gotta get some studying done

see tonite at 8:30 is a physics exam, then tomorrow at 8:30AM i have a diff EQ exam. I'm catching a greyhound bus home sometime tomorrow after the exam, since i won't have anymore classes worth going to for the rest of the time before break REALLY starts.

over the weekend i should have studied alot

instead i pretty much did everything but that... although for a few moments i did get a little bit done

the good news is i was a good boy and actually wrote my term paper for another class LAST week so i wouldn't have to finish it right before these tests, since its due before break starts. So glad i managed to get that done, it took three nights of hardcore isolation. Funny part is i was so glad to finish the works cited page and be "done" that i submitted it online and took a deep breath of accomplishment.... only to later realize i forgot to actually put the citations IN the text... oops. It's only the rough draft and he'll be returning it with corrections... so now i know what some of them will be, lol.

programming lecture is tonite right before my exam, i suppose then i'll find out why the last lab wasn't ever posted. he told us exactly what the assignment would be, so i had everything i needed to know to do it, but when we got to lab, it wasn't posted online, and still isn't now, a week later. I don't know if that means that he decided not to assign it or if he forgot to post it, but i do know that he originally said it would be due this friday. Since that is over break, i don't want to bring my laptop home, so i figured if i were to do it, it would have to be before break. So last night i spent about 3 hours programming. Now i'll find out that he postponed it, with my luck, haha, but i don't care, programming is actually kinda fun, so i don't mind if i got it done ahead of time. I felt accomplished too, since nowadays i'm not as high up there on the smart guy hierarchy as i used to be. In high school i tended to be the guy with the highest grade in a class, everyone thought that the only reason that could be is because i have no life and just study all the time. Truth of the matter is that in high school i never studied for anything... ever. I didn't even listen in class, in fact i fell asleep alot. Which is why alot of my teachers really didn't like me, they hated the idea of me sleeping through their class, and then acing their class with the highest grade. Here in college, ever since everything became calculus oriented, and i realized that i sucked at calculus, things are different. I still barely study, i always say i should study, or schedule time to study, or even put up away messages that say i'm studying, but the reality is that i usually just sit there facebooking or listening to music, or whatever, and then i skim my notes and close my books. the difference is that now i'm not top of anything, my GPA is 3.6, i'm above the average certainly, but i'm not the highest scorer in anything. It wasn't being the highest scorer that satisfied me back then, it honestly wasn't, it was just the satisfaction of knowing that i didn't have to try to do very well, guess it just made me feel intelligent, but i don't even like to boast that... and this shouldn't come off that way. Programming makes me feel like that again, because i chat online and click around the internet throughout the lectures, but when lab time comes around, i seem to understand the concepts better than anyone else, and i end up being the first person to successfully complete a lab, while everyone else is still getting an introduction to the assignment by the TA (who i'm not listening to). The TA keeps thinking that i already know C, but i've never learned it before, or even seen it, i have to keep reassuring him that this is my first time knowing it, and no, i don't practice outside of class. The quizzes i don't do as well on, but good enough for me.

now i REALLY should get to studying, which means i'll look up a couple of problems involving my weak points in the covered material for this physics exam, and then i'll end up playing DS or something (while feeling guilty that i'm not actually working harder on studying).

if anyone from home wants to hang out over break, gimme a call, it'll be the only way to get ahold of me cuz i'm leaving my lappy here (i want a light load to take on the bus). I WONT be working over this break if you can believe that, so i'll definitely have some time to chill.

Things you people from home should be aware of, that you may have missed in previous entries:
I have short hair now
I'm single
And for those who REALLY haven't seen me in awhile, i don't have my eyebrow piercing any longer, but that was a long time ago i think everyone knows that.

so you got the update here, try not to be too surprised :P

horribly unlucky

2007-11-13T18:19:20Z

So apparently I'm supposed to have a crazy awful week. Because so far i seem to be having the worst time.. but being as hardened and indifferent to the world as i am... i just find it humorous in the worst of ways.

over the weekend i pretty much did nothing but work, and then play ds while chilling with people... nothing special there.

but then yesterday it began: (i'll condense it to as short as possible)

i was to register at 8am. Got to bed by 2am, alarm set for 7:30... actually woke up... at 9:40.
rushed to register, confused as to why my cellphone chose not to wake me up.
was slapped in the face with the restricted class i forgot to talk to my advisor beforehand about
went to engineering building, handed in an assignment, got form for restriction release, realized i needed my DARS
went ALL the way back... only to realize Dan was asleep and i felt bad so i basically went to my room for nothing, decided on that note to go to library to print DARS
Can't get a computer
Finally i get one, log on, print dars, log off, go to printer.
Printer does nothing...
Can't get a computer
once again i finally get another one... print... LEAVE IT ON, other end of library, it prints, back to other end sign off, back to engineering building.
advisor takes forever to fill out paperwork, finally he is done, and the final step after all that, is to see the secretary.
Sign on door "Secretary on Holiday, Back Tuesday"
ALL THAT FOR NOTHING, had to wait til today to finish it
then i'm late to physics because of that.
accidentally slept thru all of an important lecture.
realized LAST MINUTE that i had a digital logic homework due THAT NIGHT. Finished it as quick as possible... BACK to the engineering building to hand that in.
physics assignment i nearly failed online after that because i was rushing.
later i decide to unwind and play guitar... Alan got a cool guitar program... i decide to try it... i nearly blow my speakers... completely jam windows to the point of no return... HARD REBOOT
Linux doesn't work... because it can't mount any drives... because windows crashed and nothing was shut down right
windows crashes again when i load it
and again...
then linux finally works
windows still doesn't.. but who cares
except now i can't read my email in linux...
then i fucked up the cable on my guitar... and i got scared at this point realizing how bad my luck, so i put the guitar away in fear it may be broken in some way.
tripped down the stairs on way to find that none of my friends are downstairs
somehow wacked my hand on a brick wall on the way back up
dropped my iPod (not broken)
eventually i went to sleep, hoping that my bed wouldn't explode or that i wouldn't break my back (which by the way is horribly painful, because my back hates me and i really really need a massage... seriously if anyone can give me a massage i will repay you in sexual favors or a couple hours of slavery)

today, i snoozed, realized i was out of clothes and really need to do laundry
very important and complex diff eq lecture... and suddenly my bowels light on fire and i'm trying my best to survive through the last 15 minutes but am eventually unable. So i had to leave class, and by the time i was back i had missed like an entire problem which in that class is enough to render you completely clueless about everything.
short story for programming lab is ("Segmentation fault: Core Dumped")
then i went to eat... they had JELLO at dickingson, boy i thought my luck had changed... jello is my anti-drug.
but i got too much food so i couldn't eat my jello, thats ok, i'll saran wrap the bowl and bring it home.
so now i'm juggling my ipod, my big cup of soda, and my hard to grasp bowl of jello, on my way back to my dorm.
almost drop the jello like eight times.... then my hands are full and i have to get the door, so i drop my iPod into my pocket... forgot to put it on hold... and the volume got turned up ALL THE WAY and nearly blew out my eardrums... but i can't drop my stuff... so i go all the way back to my room with Kamelot playing at an earsplitting volume.
THEN i get here... set down my stuff... reach around my back to get my bag... my.. bag.. where's my bag?
left my bag in the dining hall
ran all the way back... got it
all the way back here...still can't view my email

oh and i have a midterm wednesday, exams monday and tuesday next week, and a term paper due before break.

i laugh because if i don't... i'll explode

haha

2007-11-06T21:15:59Z

according to many sources which felt the need to just walk up and tell me, an effigy of me was burned on guy fawkes day. I wasn't able to attend the burning of effigies since i had a class, although i caught the end of it on my way back and somebody pointed to some charred remains and said "that one was you". I assumed it was a joke, I underestimated the immaturity of the creator. Friends think its funny and ridiculous that apparently IM the asshole, even though the other person is publicly whoring themselves and admitting to it, and burning effigies of me... all i've done is mind my business. So we all had a good laugh at those baffling circumstances and the person implying them. Yes... yes its me who's the bad one.

in other news, i thought i was getting my R4 today, but turned out the package was actually Jellyfist, which i read all of earlier and loved it. Was supposed to meet with my partner for digital logic, he never called because apparently he was hanging out with friends... i said "so am i.... but i was ready to do the project.... what the hell?" So now i have to spend the night doing that after this class which ends close to 9pm, goody.

gotta get to my class, then wait around til he's done with his.

wahee!!! (which now replaces wahoo?)

weekend

2007-11-04T20:12:25Z

so i woke up today and it was 3pm... and i thought, "holy shit, i have to go to the soup kitchen at 3:45... i barely have time to get ready!", then i get to my computer... and that says its 2pm... and then my microwave says its 3pm, but then my cellphone says 2pm, and thats when i made the connection that it must be daylight savings... and i was happy to find that an hour had just magically been added to my day to allow me to take a shower and get breakfast.

So this weekend, was quite horrible actually. I was all excited and hoping to have a good weekend, things seemed promising, and i had to work friday night but when i got out at 11, i expected to come back to chill with people. when i got back, perty much nobody was around. Then i found some friends, then i turned around and they were gone, and they never came back, i'm easily forgotten and left out like that. So then i attempt to hang out with other people... but they were really boring and just sitting in a hall, and then two by two, they all went together to different rooms and shut their doors. See just about everyone here is in a couple of some sort, with the exception of a very select few of us. And even some of the people who aren't in a couple of any sort, its easy to notice from afar that they are whoring themselves to just about everybody they meet.

so eventually... i am quite literally the ONLY person left in whitney... i walked around through the halls (unwilling to return to my room because there was indeed a pair of people in there as well) and every single door was closed, not another person besides me was found, and i had no idea what i was going to do with myself, alone, without a place to go, at 1 in the morning (which is extremely early for everyone to just head in to "sleep"). So i ended up taking a very long walk by myself across campus, where i ALSO encountered NOBODY. That probably had something to do with the fact that it was extremely fucking freezing. So i ended up feeling frostbitten and not feeling my face or hands. Then eventually i found one person, and fell asleep in the freezing cold basement after a while.

Saturday i of course had to try and get my hopes up for being a good night... but lets just shortcut it and say.... well i did nothing at all pretty much, and after awhile ended up watching the office by myself in my room, but that only lasted for about... half an episode, and i just gave it up because it felt too loserish, and i just ended up going to sleep at like 2am.. which is way earlier than i had hoped.

so apparently the only way to deal with being single in a place where everyone else is in a couple, is to whore yourself to every new person you meet. In my case i guess i'd have to start meeting new people, but then again... being a manwhore isn't really my thing, and besides the type of people who would be doing this are exactly the type of people it would be a horrible idea to follow the footsteps of, considering they really aren't mature enough to accomplish anything useful in this world.

i hate subject lines

2007-11-03T02:06:51Z

i'm at work, what better place to update than here. Work is fun, i spend about an hour setting up speakers and microphones and all kinds of techy sound stuff, then i just sit back and get paid to standby at the show (so i just listen to my iPod, play with my laptop, and watch the interesting parts of the show). Then tear it down... and i'm done.

So yeah, this event is a Diwali Banquet. I really wish i was hindu... i love the culture. It intrigues me more than any other culture in this world. The dancers are amazing and they always look like they have so much fun, like there is nowhere they'd rather be than with their friends, celebrating what they believe in. I wish i even had a fucking culture.. but i'm just a white guy from central new york, no religion, ethnic traditions, or any sense of "family". I have a family... we just don't like to admit we are related to each other.

I love rediscovering music. something you haven't listened to in a long time, and when you listen its just as exciting as the first time you heard the song/artist.

i'm just waiting for all the attendants of this banquet to get their food, so that me and the engineer can go help ourselves to some NON-SODEXHO food! I've never tried Indian food before, and i'm so hungry, i can't wait. I'm in the mood to try new things, i want to sample like everything served here, lol.

being single is actually great... i should have realized this long ago. I can revert back to my typical creepy self... making constant sexual remarks and innuendo's towards my female friends.

i've come to the conclusion that absolutely NOBODY besides myself thinks that electric guitar is cool... haha. I love playing heavy metal... whats so wrong with that? Everyone else apparently hates it... or just doesn't give a shit, haha, i can play some crazy metal riff thats taken me years of practice to get good enough to play... and not a head will turn. But if i pick up my acoustic and strum a chord, people think i'm amazing. Sucks to be recognized more for something you don't practice, and not at all for the thing you've been practising for hours every day of your life for the past 7 years.

and i swear if anyone reading this tries pretending they are interested in my playing now... i'm going to be disappointed in you.

hmm, usually when you start a sentence with "i swear if anyone..." you don't end it with something as minimal as "i'm going to be very disappointed"

ok since that last line about 30 min has passed.
I went to get food because the line died down.

Indian food is AWESOME. It was really good, there was all kinds of stuff that when i looked at it i thought "eww gross... i'm not going to like that", since it was all liquidy and one was green, another red with square chunks in it. But like i said i felt like trying new things so i just got big heaping spoonfuls of the stuff and started trying it, and to my surprise it was all amazing, i went back for a heaping plate of seconds!

let me repeat, this job rocks.

hmm other news..

OH! i got my DS, its purty and black and shiny. I soon realized that a DS is virtually useless without any games, haha, as there is only a chat program which apparently only works if you are in the general vicinity of the other person. i spent i believe more than an hour writing dirty inappropriate messages to someone on pictochat, before we both realized we were total losers and gave it up.

My r4 has left hong kong, haha i hope to get it early next week.

halloween has passed, which meant i had a perfect excuse to change the entire layout and color scheme of Linux, since it was halloween themed before. I'm known for changing the appearance of my laptop way too often. It looks pretty nifty right now.

yay they are dancing again! i love this stuff, i need to download a shitload of bhangra, i love it.

ok, i go now

i hope something interesting happens tonite after work... i need something interesting.

update update

2007-10-30T20:14:59Z

um, no idea when my last update was.

halloween, least of my concerns, i don't think i'm doing a damn thing for halloween.

been pretty busy, but its all good, i'm used to this kinda stuff and i'm drilling through assignments during the day and just chilling with people at night.

I'm single now
It's a major change in lifestyle but the decision was mutual and for the best. I'm certainly not going to be LOOKING for someone new, the last thing i need to do is get myself into yet ANOTHER relationship. I kinda hope to avoid it for a little while, it should do me some good. I haven't been single for more than 2 weeks in the past few years, i think i need to give myself a break.

I feel freer and less stressed, still though, i can't help but notice how boring binghamton is, and its good to have people you are close to around to be bored WITH you. (although at this point i'm not too close with anyone)

In other news i'm still battling my way to the top of the corporate ladder to get noticed for a summer internship. Good new, at Sensis Corporation, there were only about 11 applicants, including me... AND i have 3 references from WITHIN the company, who constantly keep checking with Human Resources and mentioning my name. I bet none of the other 10 people even have their name being spoken by anyone within the company.

I need a new hobby, new friends (not that there is anything wrong with my friends now, but i need closer friends), and a RENEWED work ethic, cuz i've been slacking lately.

Well time for physics discussion... i'll be getting my test back, i'm sure i did horribly.

*yay i used almost correct punctuation in this entry!*

haha

2007-10-27T00:02:52Z

ok so a couple of you are going to get a kick out of this one...you'll know who you are if you feel compelled to comment.

Today...

I bought a Nintendo DS Lite (Black) on eBay

*at another place i also bought an r4 card and sd card (if you don't know what that is then thats fine, if you do... "shhhhhh"*
:P

let me end by saying

"I am such a hypocrite"