The Hat
Hat, hat, hat, hat, hat.
Hat.
A wonderful word.
I am going to recount the tale of the hat, from its beginning, before its origin is lost to the mists of time.
Hat.
It was the June of '05, I believe, when I and some good friends took a trip to Temple Bar, the ostensibly cool area of Dublin (it is quite cool, I suppose. I mean, it has the Contemporary Music Centre, and no shortage of very pleasantly-smelling hippie clothes shops, a very very small outdoor book market, and an ice-cream shop. The downside, of course, is that occasionally emo kids busk there. Emo kids can't play guitar. Emo kids can't sing. And worst of all, emo kids have atrocious body odour), and bought a hat in a wonderful 70's clothes shop (Eager Beaver, 'tis called). It was a wonderful hat, colourful, possessed of many interesting and flamboyant designs, and - most importantly - two-sided. There was a very nice hat on the outside, but if you were to switch it around, there was another side, equally nice! My friend bought a similar hat, and we were mightily pleased, yes we were don't you know mmhmm.
However, tragedy struck: the hat proved too small to be worn comfortably. I returned to the shop shortly after, this time with another friend (and indeed a girl friend, who later got very friendly with my friend, and thus there was much happiness, albeit of the more short-lived variety, but there's nothing wrong with that so long's you know what you're letting yourself in for), and seeing as I was in town anyway, decided to purchase another hat, of larger dimensions, to aid the wearing of it as much as possible. Find this hat I did (although in a different part of the shop), and wore it I did, with much pride!
My friend thought me a bit silly. How and ever.
This hat became, with one thing and another (I can't remember what, exactly; I think it was just wearing it a lot and calling it 'the hat'), known as The Hat, and the original hat (largely overlooked, because of its diminuitive size, alas, but never forgotten) was inherited with all appropriate deference by my younger sibling, minimcguiggan.
It is also around this time that three rather amazing things happened. Firstly, I noticed that The Hat is, indeed, the greatest hat ever; for you see, The Hat is really two hats and one hat at the same time, and no hat, no matter how astounding, can be greater than two hats. Thus The Hat's position as pinnacle of headgear was assured (of course, The Hat is not greater than its two-sided comrades and family; there is equality there).
Secondly, I met a person who has consistently shown herself to be the best person in the whole world evereverever, and fell most definitely in love. I asked her out on July 29th, 2005, and gave her The Hat, which she knew was important to me because I never shut up about it, and who also saw its incredibleness, and appreciated the gift most reverentially. I think she gave me a kiss, which was very nice. I then went off on a cruise for two weeks, leaving her alone, because I think I reckoned it good narrative to ask her out and then whisk off or something stupid like that, but the less said about that the better.
Thirdly, Kate and I realised that The Hat was - and is - in fact, alive. We know not how, or why, or what it entails, but it most certainly is.
The hat and I have had many adventures; most notable of which is my trip to the Oxegen festival with it that summer. Both Tim and I brought our hats, occasionally inverting them to the astonishment of passers-by (who probably would've been astonished by the rising of the sun by the second day, but however) and fellow festival-goers. In December '05, I brought it on stage with me when doing a Christmas gig, and persuaded an entire crowd to chant "hat!" while holding The Hat out for them all to see. It has seen Cork and has nearly blown off my head into the Liffey; it has been turned into a symbol by minimcguiggan and become a symbol of revolution (well, I say revolution. Silliness would probably be more accurate) in his school and has been drawn in no few other places by me and others, too. And on the 19th of this month, it is tripping with me to Jamaica, of all places, where it shall acquire a nice tan and be very pleased with itself indeed.
I hereby dedicate this post to The Hat, that most blessed of all hats. Hat, I love you.
(Supplement: list of various types of hat: boater, bonnet, bowler hat, cloche, cowboy hat, deerstalker, derby, fedora, homburg, Panama hat, picture hat, pillbox, porkpie hat, sailor hat, sombrero, sou'wester, stovepipe hat, sunhat, ten-gallon hat, top hat, topper, toque, trilby, balaclava, baseball cap, bearskin, beret, biretta, bobble hat, crash helmet, fez, glengarry, hard hat, Stormtrooper helmet, medieval parenthood, mantilla, mobcap, skullcap, tam-o'-shanter, topee, turban, yarmulke, yashmak)
Hat.
Hat.
A wonderful word.
I am going to recount the tale of the hat, from its beginning, before its origin is lost to the mists of time.
Hat.
It was the June of '05, I believe, when I and some good friends took a trip to Temple Bar, the ostensibly cool area of Dublin (it is quite cool, I suppose. I mean, it has the Contemporary Music Centre, and no shortage of very pleasantly-smelling hippie clothes shops, a very very small outdoor book market, and an ice-cream shop. The downside, of course, is that occasionally emo kids busk there. Emo kids can't play guitar. Emo kids can't sing. And worst of all, emo kids have atrocious body odour), and bought a hat in a wonderful 70's clothes shop (Eager Beaver, 'tis called). It was a wonderful hat, colourful, possessed of many interesting and flamboyant designs, and - most importantly - two-sided. There was a very nice hat on the outside, but if you were to switch it around, there was another side, equally nice! My friend bought a similar hat, and we were mightily pleased, yes we were don't you know mmhmm.
However, tragedy struck: the hat proved too small to be worn comfortably. I returned to the shop shortly after, this time with another friend (and indeed a girl friend, who later got very friendly with my friend, and thus there was much happiness, albeit of the more short-lived variety, but there's nothing wrong with that so long's you know what you're letting yourself in for), and seeing as I was in town anyway, decided to purchase another hat, of larger dimensions, to aid the wearing of it as much as possible. Find this hat I did (although in a different part of the shop), and wore it I did, with much pride!
My friend thought me a bit silly. How and ever.
This hat became, with one thing and another (I can't remember what, exactly; I think it was just wearing it a lot and calling it 'the hat'), known as The Hat, and the original hat (largely overlooked, because of its diminuitive size, alas, but never forgotten) was inherited with all appropriate deference by my younger sibling, minimcguiggan.
It is also around this time that three rather amazing things happened. Firstly, I noticed that The Hat is, indeed, the greatest hat ever; for you see, The Hat is really two hats and one hat at the same time, and no hat, no matter how astounding, can be greater than two hats. Thus The Hat's position as pinnacle of headgear was assured (of course, The Hat is not greater than its two-sided comrades and family; there is equality there).
Secondly, I met a person who has consistently shown herself to be the best person in the whole world evereverever, and fell most definitely in love. I asked her out on July 29th, 2005, and gave her The Hat, which she knew was important to me because I never shut up about it, and who also saw its incredibleness, and appreciated the gift most reverentially. I think she gave me a kiss, which was very nice. I then went off on a cruise for two weeks, leaving her alone, because I think I reckoned it good narrative to ask her out and then whisk off or something stupid like that, but the less said about that the better.
Thirdly, Kate and I realised that The Hat was - and is - in fact, alive. We know not how, or why, or what it entails, but it most certainly is.
The hat and I have had many adventures; most notable of which is my trip to the Oxegen festival with it that summer. Both Tim and I brought our hats, occasionally inverting them to the astonishment of passers-by (who probably would've been astonished by the rising of the sun by the second day, but however) and fellow festival-goers. In December '05, I brought it on stage with me when doing a Christmas gig, and persuaded an entire crowd to chant "hat!" while holding The Hat out for them all to see. It has seen Cork and has nearly blown off my head into the Liffey; it has been turned into a symbol by minimcguiggan and become a symbol of revolution (well, I say revolution. Silliness would probably be more accurate) in his school and has been drawn in no few other places by me and others, too. And on the 19th of this month, it is tripping with me to Jamaica, of all places, where it shall acquire a nice tan and be very pleased with itself indeed.
I hereby dedicate this post to The Hat, that most blessed of all hats. Hat, I love you.
(Supplement: list of various types of hat: boater, bonnet, bowler hat, cloche, cowboy hat, deerstalker, derby, fedora, homburg, Panama hat, picture hat, pillbox, porkpie hat, sailor hat, sombrero, sou'wester, stovepipe hat, sunhat, ten-gallon hat, top hat, topper, toque, trilby, balaclava, baseball cap, bearskin, beret, biretta, bobble hat, crash helmet, fez, glengarry, hard hat, Stormtrooper helmet, medieval parenthood, mantilla, mobcap, skullcap, tam-o'-shanter, topee, turban, yarmulke, yashmak)
Hat.