[FIC](GW) Testosterone

Don't ask where this came from. I blame it on...*points randomly* Just a quick ficlet I did in about 40 min. Un-beta'd.

TITLE: Testosterone (or Wufei's Story of Life)
AUTHOR: Sharyn
SERIES: Gundam Wing
ARCHIVING: Please ask.
RATING: PG for the double entendres.
PAIRINGS: Implied 13x6x13, mentioned 13x6x5
WARNINGS: Double entendres, shounen-ai, most likely lame humour, please excuse.
SUMMARY: Wufei has problems. Treize is no help and Zechs makes them all the worse.
LENGTH: ~780 words
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Oh how I wish they were though.

OTHER: C&C of any kind most welcome. Originally posted to the-vent_submissions ML.

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Testosterone

"AHHhh-h..." Wufei's warcry died short as his voice croaked a little. He coughed and cleared his throat, a little confused and very annoyed at the situation.

"AHHh..." he tried again but it died even quicker this time round, he even spluttered a bit in between the croaks this time. He was well and truly on the road to "angry" making pit-stops at "annoyed" and now diverging to "mortified".

"What-the?" he said and was most embarrassed to find the croaking did not stop when he spoke and that there were muffled chuckles on the opposite side of the room. He looked up from his flustered position by the window (which he stood originally because wanted a dramatic effect and he expected wind to blow leaves making a handsome backdrop against his profile but as luck would have it, it was a perfectly clear night with no wind whatsoever) and glared at Treize.

Treize stood across the room with his rapier lowered after Wufei had glared at him, and one hand gently obscuring his mouth so that the raucous chuckles that threatened to escape were prevented from leaving his elegant being, thus ruining the "elegant" part of his persona. He watched with an air of detached amusement as Wufei cleared his throat a few more times and tried out his voice. The dragon had come for a rematch (as per usual) and sought to make a grand and chilling entrance which had been ruined by the ineffectivity of his warcry. And Treize had been waiting for some time now for his opponent to gather his bearings and well, fight.

"Treize Kushre-" Wufei paused again as his voice dropped half an octave.

"WHAT THE?" he resorted to yelling instead, and was most dismayed to find that his voice went back up half an octave at the second half of his exclamation.

That was the last straw for Treize as he doubled over laughing, clutching his rapier as support. It seemed as if the wrong hormones were hitting at a most inopportune time. His laughs were loud and uncontrolled and a minute later, Zechs had stormed into the room, the slamming of the door creating a nice gust of wind that then allowed his cape and hair to billow gently. The end result was a very attention seeking entrance that made Wufei even more flustered than he already was, seeing someone else pull off his failed attempt with such dramatic flair.

"General!" Zechs' baritone was tinged with slight worry as he saw the General of OZ clutching his stomach and leaning on his somewhat unsteady rapier for support.

"Peace, Zechs," Treize said after he had calmed down enough, "I'm fine."

"What is happening here?" Zechs demanded and focused his attention on Wufei.

"I'm challenging Treize to a duel," Wufei said with a snort in attempt to cover up his current uncomfortable state, in a room with two high ranking OZ officials and a wavering voice.

"05, what on earth is wrong with your voice?" Zechs demanded. And set Treize off into another fit of laughter, by the sounds of which were starting to seem more like giggles.

Wufei growled.

"He tried to do his warcry and..." Treize said in between laughs, definitely sounding like giggles now though, "his voice broke...and..."

Zechs pieced the information he had gathered together and smirked, handsomely of course.

"Would you care for a cough drop, 05?" Zechs inquired all too politely.

"Why you!" Wufei started, then sighed in resignation. That got the attention of the no-longer giggling Treize.

"I would still like to duel you, however all my serious fights require a warcry," Wufei said, ignoring his fluctuating voice.

Treize raised an eyebrow in perfect eloquence.

"Zechs, could you do the honours? Just yell, I'm sure you won't have bloody hormone problems," Wufei said.

Zechs snickered, "My hormone problems are very much different to yours."

Zechs leered at Treize who winked back.

"I did NOT need to see or know that!" Wufei said and blushed, "I'll...come back next time..."

He moved towards the window and made to crawl out before Zechs approached him.

"I'd be glad to help you with your 'problems' and I'm sure Treize won't mind if you have hormonal imbalances or if they are somewhat, let us say, demanding?" Zechs said with a smirk that oozed sexuality.

"Eep!" Wufei crawled out and ran as fast as he could. His honour wasn't worth sacrificing that way.

"That wasn't very nice, Milliardo," Treize said and moved closer to the Lieutenant and raised his rapier up in challenge, "You scared away my entertainment for the evening, I assume that you will be replacing it?"

"Of course Treize," Zechs said, "in more ways than one."

~~~
Insert lemon here *grins*

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Final note: I've always wondered how the G-boys coped with hormonal changes during the war. *food for thought*

Edited 02/08/2004: Thanks to Sintari who pointed out a small grammar mistake.

--Sharyn